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VOLUME XVI. 



NUMBER 1. 



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SAN KRANOISOO, SATURDAY, JANUARY 2, 1886. 



W: 




SLHMIDT LABEL & LITHC CO., SAN FRAN'- 



THE OLD AND THE NEW 



THE WASP. 



A CRIPPLED PEGASUS. 



THE START. 

When J. Montgomery Keats awoke one morning 
from a dtep dream of peace, and thoughtfully pro- 
ceeded to embalm his vision in pentameter verse, 
he was surprised and delighted at the ease with 
which the task was accomplished. He put the 
poem aside, read his newspaper, took up the poem 
again, and it appeared to him still more beautiful 
than at the first perusal. 

"It is certainly worth publishing," he Baid. "I 
will let it go anonymously. I will drop it into the 
editor's box. The Monsetown Cross-cut can have 
it." Keats kept a wood and coal yard, and the 
Cross-cut office lay on his road, ao addressing his 
poem *' To the Editor ' he nervously dropped it in 
the box where the large mail of that influential 
journal was deposited. He sighed with apprehen- 
sion as the envelope slipped from his fingers. "I 
wish now I had put my name to it," he said, "or 
even my initials. If it is published, and it makes 
a sensation, some other fellow will be claiming it." 
All-during that day Keats was nervous and dis- 
tracted. There were lines of the poem which 
constantly recurred to him in a different and what 
to him appeared an improved form from their 
original shape. "It is too late now," he groaned. 
"I wish I had revised them though. I waB too 
hasty. I'll drop in on Bullock on my way home, 
tell him the poem is mine, and ask for its return." 
This resolution consoled him somewhat, and when 
the hour of closing arrived he shut his office and 
walked briskly toward editor Bullock's sanctum. 

"Hello, Keats," cried that genial gentleman, 
who, in his shirt sleeves, was snipping away at his 
exchanges, " take a seat. What can I do for you 1 
By the way, I know you are fond of poetry. Now 
here is something that came to me this morning 
without any name, and I do think it is about the 
neatest thing in verse I have read for years. Would 
you like to hear it ? " Keats grew pale as the editor 
drew from his drawer his own copy and read or 
rather spouted his lines. 

"They are fine, ain't they?" said Bullock. 
" I'm going to put them in and double-lead them, 
you bet. The fellow that wrote them will make 
his mark. I only hope we will hear from him 
again." 

Keats insisted upon the editor coming out at 
once and being treated. He was in a tfembfi cj 
delight. He was on the point of confes'aing thq 
authorship, but his modesty tripped him up, and 
he parted from Bullock assuring him, r tbat hj» 
would give him a column advertisenfefifr^fop \h§- 
Cross cut next week. ' • • • ■ * 

WINNING THE RACE. 

That evening Keats called on Miss MeliBsa 
Patterson, the village schoolmistress, to whom he 
had long been paying attentions. Miss Patterson 
was of a romantic disposition," and though she had 
a kindly feeling toward Keats, who was one of the 
eligible bachelors of the camp, she deplored his 
practical turn and wished that he had more poetry 
in his soul. She did not know what a wealth of 
poetic feeling that soul contained, what a burden 
of unsung melodies rested on that brain. Their 
conversation waB always commonplace, for Keats 
was timid about the schoolmistress, who, from the 
nature of her profession, he felt might floor him if 
he indulged in any rhapsodies on his favorite poets. 

"Of course you take the Cross-cut, Miss Melissa," 
said Keats. 

" Yes," replied the lady, " but there is not much 
in it that interests me. Now you, Mr. Keats, be? 
ing a commercial man, enjoy all those tedious 
market reports and Btock things, I suppose." 

"I read them, I have to read them," said poor 
Keats, the unappreciated. "But even business 
men, Miss Melissa, have their deep wells of 
fancy — their day-dreams of unknown worlds — their 

sunny anticipations of roseate ideals — their " 

Here the rhapsodist, glancing at Melissa, saw an 
expression of amused perplexity upon her fair face, 
and overcome with shame seized his hat and mut- 
tering something about having to rush off to attend 
a lodge meeting, fled. 



On Saturday the Cross-cut came out with Keats' 
verses in the place of honor in the Poet's Corner. 
Also with this " editorial mention " : 

We call attention with pleasure to the unusually spark- 
ling and original poem at the head of the second column 
of this issue. We prophesy that the author, whose name 
is unfortunately unknown tn us, will yet make his mark 
in the world of letters. He is a fellow-townsman, we feel 



assured, from the fact that the manuscript did not come 
through the postoffice Let our poet step forward and 
receive the laurel crown. 

Keats was in raptures. Would he try once more 
before disclosing himself to Mfilissa, or would he 
hurry off and tell her that the " Midnight Vision " 
was his? He decided on the latter course, for the 
secret waB burning into him and could not be kept. 
Slipping a copy of the paper into his pocket, and 
after paying more than ordinary attention to his 
tuilet, he rung the b^ll of Melissa's boarding-house. 
While awaiting that lady's advent he s tw with 
delight the Cross-cut lying on the table. He af- 
fected to be engaged with it when Melissa appeared. 
After the UBual review of the gossip of the place 
Keats said, pointing to the paper : 

" Well, have you found anything interesting this 
week ? " 

" 0," said Melissa, " did you read that exquisite 
pjem ? It is just too beautiful. Who could have 
written it? I would give anything to know." 

" Would you, Melissa i " faltered Keats " Per- 
haps— perhaps I could tell you." Miss Patterson 
blushed. It was the first time he had ventured to 
call her Melissa. 

"How could you tell me, Mr. Keats'?" she 
asked, coyly. 

"Because — because," murmured Keats, "I wrote 
it, Melissa. I am the author." 

MiBB Patterson was thunderstruck. Never in her 
wildest speculations about Keats had she imagined 
him gifted with the poetic faculty. So, after all, 
he was no materialist, but a true bard, a deep 
drinker at the Pierian Spring, a poet after her own 
heart. Keats was not backward in pressing his 
suit. He saw the moment was favorable, and be- 
fore he left the house he was Melissa Patterson's 
accepted husband. 

STABLED. 

The honeymoon passed as all honeymoons should 
in a glow of love and self-gratulation. Keats was 
happy, and Melissa found in him her ideal. During 
the first few weeks of this happy time the young 
couple cared to talk about nothing but themselves. 
Over and over again Keats told the Btory of that 
fortunate night when the poem that had won Me- 
lissa waB conceived, his trepidation in dropping it 
into the editor's box, and his delight at her appre- 
ciation of it. 

"Do you know, .love," he often said, "that if 
"joH*«}fad iiotj apsjarecV me you liked that poem so 
'.tnu^clj I'dpn^t £hrjik # I should ever have had the 
"courage to propose to you." Bullock was often 
jnyited to the»fcrarjjy* fcibtfrjl to discuss literary mat- 
ters! bat the; Cyo^j-'cut's^editor was not much of a 
Kteraffy character aud let Keats do most of the 
talking while he paid strict attention to the sub- 
stantial portion of these entertainments. Mean- 
while Keats kept his Pegasus tied up. Since that 
poem he had not attempted verse. 

"Don : t you think, my dear," said Melissa to 
him one morning, "that you might try something 
for the Cross-cut this week ? It is not right to allow 
your poetic faculty to lie idle." 

"I've been thinking about it," said Keats. "I'll 
set to work to-night and throw off something for 
Bullock." 

All that day Keats pondered on the forthcoming 
poem. He ate a light dinner, and then moodily 
sat down to composition while his bride from her 
chair by the fireside glanced admiringly at him. 
After an hour's earnest and agonized struggle he 
announced that he had completed the first verse, 
and began : 

" Thine eyes are dark as midnight hour, 
Thy voice is like the rippling stream, 
I ever, ever feel thy power, 
My love, my dream. 

" What do you think of it l " he inquired. 
"It's nice," said Melissa, coldly; "but don't 
you think there are too many ( evers ' there 1 " 

"It wouldn't scan without the other 'ever,'" 
said Keats, crossly. 

"Perhaps not," said his wife. "Still I don't 
like it." 

Keats felt annoyed. This certainly was not the 
way to assist his writhing muse. Still he worked 
on, and finished the second verse. 

" Don't you want to hear any more ? " he aBked. 
" 0, yes; read right on," said Melissa. 
" Thy figure, like the willow tree, 
Is tall and lithe and O so slim, 
Before thy glances aye to me 
The sun grows dim." 
He waited for an approving word, but Melissa's 
eyes were fixed on the coals. "I thought you were 
so fond of poetry," he said, sarcastically. 



"Of poetry, yeB," was the significant remark. 
"Excuse me, will you? I am sleepy now and 
must go to bed," and the lady, arising with an air 
i f weariness and pout combined, swept from the 
room. 

Keats felt irritated, but determined to finish the 
poem. Then putting "To Irene" at the head he 
slipped on his boots and walked to Bullock's office. 
He had not neglected to sign his initials to this, 
and added, "By the author of 'A Midnight 
Vision.' " 

. CRIPPLED. 

At breakfast Melissa did not inquire the fate of 
the poem, and Keats was too chagrined to mention 
it to her. 

On his way home that evening he stepped into 
the milliner's shop to chat with Miss Thompson 
and get an idea of the ruling rates of bonnets. 

"I'll surprise Melissa with one," he thought. 
"Ah, here she comes," he added, aB Mrs. Keats, 
in all the gay apparel of early bridehood, walked 
briskly along the other side of the street. She 
glanced across, and he noticed an angry expression 
on her face. Though he crossed the street she did 
not wait for him, but quickened her pace. 

"You seem to be in a hurry," he said, good- 
humoredly. 

"O, not at all," she replied, crisply. "Pray 
don't leave your old friend Mies Thompson on my 
account. I saw you in quite confidential chat with 
her as I came along." 

"Don't talk nonsense, Melissa," said Keats, an- 
grily. " Miss Thompson 1b nothing to me, and you 
know it." 

"I know little of your life before you married 
me, sir," said Melissa, coldly. Keats was so exas- 
perated that he left her there and then. It was 
their first quarrel, and he felt so annoyed that he 
could have boxed the ears of his haughty spouse on 
the spot, but apart from the scandal he was not 
quite sure that in a rough-and-tumble she might 
not have the best of it. "She'll go without her 
bonnet until she comes to her senses," he mused, 
savagely. "If I don't tame her now, if I don't 
show her who is chief, I'll have a pretty time of it 
during the rest of my married life." 

At dinner the bride was chill and silent. It was 
ludge night, and Keats departed for the meeting 
without a word or signal of good by. Having 
nothing to reproach himself with he was boiling 
over with indignation at his wife's conduct. After 
the lodge he met Bullock, and the editor congratu- 
ltted him on " Irene," and said, " Why, Keats, I 
never suspected you were a poet. Go on, man, and 
you will be famous yet. That ' Irene' is really a 
most delicate and at the same time a most passion- 
ate lyric. I re-read the proof most carefully and 
have given it the place of honor like its predeces- 
sor " 

This outspoken admiration consoled Keats. 
" When she reads the Cross-cut," he mused on hiB 
way home, "her heart willl be moved. She will 
see that I am no ordinary man to be jawed and 
nagged by those exhibitions of temper. I'll not 
say a word to her, but leave the paper in her way. 
It comes out to-morrow, so thank goodness this 
quarrel will soon be at an end." 

He was up betimes in the morning and took the 
paper from the doorstep. The poem was there, 
and Keats gloated over its perfections in type. He 
laid it on the breakfast-table and .wandered down 
street to give Melissa ample time to read and ad- 
mire. On his return the lady was languidly munch- 
ing her toast and the paper lay crumpled on the 
floor. It had been roughly handled and when he 
picked it up to his anger he perceived that a greasy 
fork had been jabbed right through the center of 
his verses. He was determined that the thing 
should stop, that Melissa should give him some 
explanation of her extraordinary conduct. But he 
would be calm. He would keep his temper though 
the aggravation really was excessive. 

"Mrs. Keats," he said in a solemn tone. 

"Sir," said the lady, looking up from her plate 
with a calm sneer. 

" I should like, madam, some explanation of your 
conduct. I should like you to state if in your 
opinion this is the way in which a loving and in- 
offensive husband should be treated." 

"I cannot but admire your impudence," said 
Melissa, in a suppressed voice. _"You flaunt your 
guilt before my face and then demand an explana- 
tion. " 

" My guilt ! — flaunt ! What under heaven do 
you mean ? " cried poor Keats, losing all his dignity 
under the astounding accusation. 

" Look at that paper, sir. Bead your vile dog- 



1485,'S<) 



THE WASP. 



gerel, aud tell me if any woman can submit to your 
open, your public avowal of your affection for a 
vile milliner. '' 

Keats picked up the Cross-cut in a dazed fashion 
and turned to the vtrses. 

14 Now, sir,'' pursued the enraged bride, "rend 
'To Irene.' Of course you did not know Miss 
Thompson's name was Irene — ol course not. 

'Thy figure like the willow tree.' 

Like a fence-rail you might have written. T am 
not as lean a8 a broom-handle, therefore my figure 
did not suit your fastidious poetic fancy — poetic ! 
that I should so degrade the word. 

'Thy eyes are dark a* midnight hour.' 

Yes, her eyes are dark, the hussy, because she 
paints her lashes, and mine are blue, but blue eyes 
wouldn't do to write a poem to. Go, sir, to your 
1 love,' your ' dieain.' Go, sir, and leave the woman 
you have so cruelly deceived to mourn over your 
perfidy and her blindness," and Melissa, rending 
the paper in two and making a veritable cross-cut 
of it, burst into a tit of hysterical weeping. 

It was in vain that Keats declared that he had 
selected ' Irene ' simply because it was poetic, and 
made the lady's eyes dark for the same reason. 
His bride would not be comforted, but insisted that 
he had been carrying on a flirtation with the mil- 
liner through the Poet's Corner in the Cross-cut, 
and that moreover she too was the heroine of "The 
Midnight Vision." 

" If you must write poetry, why didn't you write 
a poem to me?" she sobbed. ''Melissa was not 
nice enough for you. I was not slim enough for 
you. My eyes were not black. I was unfit to be 
the Bubject cf a poem — of courBe I was," raged the 
lady. • 

" May my right hand be paralyzed if I ever write 
a line of verse again ! " vowed the miserable KeatB. 
And he kept his word though Bullock mourns his 
neglected genius. Matrimony haB forever crippled 
the Pegasus of J. Montgomery Keats. 

Dan O'Connell. 

San Francisco. December. 1885. 



NEW YEAR GREETINGS. 



OUR PICTURES. 



We represent this week the typical dynamiter as 
he would appear in his role of overriding the law. 
With blunderbuss in one hand, and a section of 
tubing filled with dynamite and attached fuse, he 
would build himself up on the ruins of the social 
fabric and give the city up to frenzied fury and the 
flames — and all for notoriety. And in this fact is 
where criticism of Dr. O'Donnell loses its hold. The 
press never hurts his feelings only when it lets him 
severely alone. He would infinitely rather be in- 
famous than ignored. If we criticise him he smiles; 
caricature him and he laughs; lampoon him and he 
guffaws effusively; abuse him and he placards the 
indictment as evidence of his importance. The only 
thing that would seem to be effective in his case is a 
little good killing — of course, always done legally. 
Imprisonment for less than life would only mitigate 
the evil for a time, for even from a prison cell he 
would manage to fulminate tire and brimstone pro- 
clamations. In the language of the street he is "a 
holy terror." The only question is who will "bell 
the cat." 

On another page are pictured representatives of 
the city press paying a congratulatory visit to our 
office. The success of the Wasp lias impressed itself 
upon our contemporaries and they recognize its ster- 
ling value in society as a satirist of the foibles, peca- 
dilloes and affectations of presumptuous pretenders. 
We appreciate this admission of our utility in the 
body politic, but at the same time say to our worthy 
confreres that they must behave themselves. 

Our frontispiece picture is allegorical of the new 
year which opens the volume of 1886, while- old 
Father Time steals away with the finished and tat- 
tered tome of 1885. 



An East-End youngster climbed up on a chair to 
the telephone, where he was overheard as follows: 
"Ello, ello, peas div me hebbin. Ello, hebbin, I 
want to taught to Dawd. Ello Dowd, peas make 
my mamma well." — Cincinnati JEnquirer. 



SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER OIL, 
WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, 
Both as a Food and Medicine. — The combined vir- 
tues of the Cod Liver Oil with the Hypoposphites, not 
only supplies a nutritious food to the system, but by its 
remedial power gives strength and tone to the nerves, and 
builds up the wasted tissues. 



Happy New Fear to Supervisor Robert Roy. 
; May his Parisian imperial longwave o'er the ledgers 
j of the Hibernia Bank. 

Happy New War to Aleck Badlam. May the 
' next Eastern tourist bring liim a new story, and 
; may Aleck relieve him of his watch while he is 
j telling it. 

Happy New Year to Robert M. Eberle. May he 

| long continue the most efficient stage manager in the 

profession, until he shall become possessed of a 

theater of liis own. He deserves it and his merit 

will win it. 

Happy New Year to Porter Ashe. May his 
racing stud ever sustain the reputation of our 
California-bred horses, and all bets made against 
him become ashe's. 

Happy New Year to Raphael Weil. A successful 
merchant, a genial gentleman, and an open-handed 
citizen, he deserves well of the coming season. 

Happy New Year to Roger Magee. Pedestrian, 
real estate contractor and raconteur, the handsome 
Roger mellows under the soothing influence of time. 
May his vocabulary never grow less. 

Happy New Year to Leon Weil. May the jolly 
twinlde of his eye be ever enlivened by his favorite 
Green Chartreuse. 

Happy New Year to Adolph Spreckels. A free- 
hearted, bright young fellow, may he ever hold the 
high place he now occupies in the estimation of his 
friends. 

Happy New Year to Colonel Alexander G. Hawes. 
"Time cannot wither or custom stale his infinite 
variety." A liberal patron of the arts and in every 
season the artist's friend, a gallant soldier who 
fought for the Union, and the first in every charita- 
ble enterprise, Colonel Hawes enjoys a wide-spread 
and well-earned popularity. 

Happy New Year to George S. Ladd. George was 
wise in shaking the New York slush from his feet 
for a delicious wade in the bright red mud of Cali- 
fornia. 

Happy New Year to Colonel Robert Tobin. 
When Ireland gets her parliament " Bob " will be 
called to a seat. A knowledge of California politics 
is a good equipment for a career in the " ould dart." 

Happy New Year to Warren Payne. May he 
never become tongue-tied. 

Happy New Year to Dan. Zealous Yost, a well- 
dressed example of the President's difficulty in pro- 
moting Civil Service Reform. 

Happy New Year to Edward Pringle. May his 
thrust in high tierce always score a point over his 
adversary's hilt. 

Happy New Year to John D. Spreckels. May 
the Alameda ever continue the boss of the Pacific 
Ocean route. 

Happy New Year to Theodore Payne. As Shake- 
speare says, "Ye be varlets all, all but the gentle 
Theodore." 

Happy New Year to Charles Josselyn. May the 
canvas-back more kindly fly within range of Char- 
ley's gun than at the opening of the season. 

Happy New Year to Ned Greenway. May he 
learn that the best way of stopping a runaway team 
is not climbing on the back seat with the expectation 
of outrunning the horses. 

Happy New Year to Count Smith. May that 
urbanity which welcomes the coming and speeds the 
parting guest never decrease. 

Happy New Year to J. J. O'Brien. May en- 
larged limits bring him increased usefulness and 
added shekels. 

Happy New Year to Jack Wattles. May a sudden 
resurrection in "stocks" strike the market and 
"Jack" have the first whack at it. 

Happy New Year to John Haviland. May he be 
as prosperous in business as he is agreeable in man- 
ner and pleasant in discourse. 

Happy New Year to Colonel John T. Cutting. 
His appointment to command was a merited honor 
worthily bestowed. A man of fine organizing power, 
decisive will and enlarged views, he will add effect- 
iveness to the service and give renewed confidence 
to our home reserve. 

Happy New Year to J. Mervyn Donahue, worthy 
son of an honored sire. May the treasures com- 
mitted to his care be not tied up in a napkin but 
used with liberal heart for the public good and his 
own advancement. 

Happy New Year to George L. Brander. May 
his deposits in the eternal bank above be as secure 
and his accounts as square as those he keeps here 
below. 

Happy New Year to J. R. Brodie. Success to 
him as the Warwick of politics. 



Happy New Year to M. J. Flavin. May the 
prestige of I X L's success gild the banners of his 
Market-street venture. 

Happy New Year to Dr. James W. Keeney. 
May his genial greeting never grow demure with 
age. 

Happy New Year to John N. Featherstone. May 
a prosperous outcome attend his fair projects. 

Happy New Year to Dr. George. May his pleas- 
ures be as toothsome as his business. 

Happy New Year to C. P. r^arnfield. May he 
deal with assurance as profitably as he has heretofore 
done with finance. 

Happy New Year to Patrick Boland. Himself a 
keen partner, may he soon find a life- partner equally 
as keen. 

Happy New Year to Harry Smith. A genial 
companion and fortunate fellow, may the coming 
year see him bloom and blossom into a happy 
benedict. 

Happy New Year to Rudolph Fenkhausen. It is 
a waste of premium material for so clever a gentle- 
man to longer wander "fancy free." May he soon 
bring to his "spirit" one equally as choice and in 
the blending never black 'r eye. 

Happy New Year to Charles Laton. The graceful 
courtesy and business urbanity that mark his every- 
day life do much to relieve the commercial character 
from the charge of brusqueness and want of polite- 
ness that prevails. 

Happy New Year to Judge Toohy. When Ireland 
secures Home-Rule, may she send for Dennis J. and 
put him for life on the highest wool-sack in the new 
realm — that is if he wants to go. 

Happy New Year to Professor Henry Heyman. 
May Hawaiian royalty long continue to smile gra- 
ciously on that gifted violinist and the next steamer 
from Honolulu bring his long-promised decoration. 

Happy New Year to Professor Holman. May the 
University of California find him the right man in 
the right place. 

Happy New Year to Superintendent Moulder. 
The school department is fortunate in having a 
gentleman of his knowledge and sagacity to hold the 
helm, and keeps the school-ma'ams in order by the 
sway that depends on love, not severity. 

Happy New Year to Denis J. Oliver. Mr. Oliver 
made his fortune in California, and like a sensible 
citizen has decided to remain here and spend it. 

Happy New Year to Monsignor Capel. May the 
beauty of this climate, which has so long successfully 
kept him an exile from Italian skies and the splendors 
of the Vatican, keep him with us until he swears 
allegiance to California. 



TOBY'S CHRISTMAS TREE. 



An army officer at Black Point is the owner of a 
remarkable dog, Toby by name, and when Christmas 
arrives Toby has his Christmas tree. This year 
Toby's master devoted much time and expense to 
making his dog's Christmas a glowing success. The 
friends of the master and of Toby were invited, and 
at the appointed hour the portier was drawn aside 
and Toby's Christmas tree shone forth resplendent. 
It was in every sense of the word a utility tree. 
There were no dolls or candies, but from the branches 
depended nicely cooked chops, toothsome morsels of 
fried liver and delicate chunks of buttered cake. 
Toby showed his appreciation by charging to the 
base of the tree and barking approvingly at the lus- 
cious butcher fruit in its branches, which was pre- 
sented to him seriatim by his master with appropriate 
remarks. But the crowning surprise of the evening 
was the apparition of a fierce-looking cat, cunningly 
carved out of fried liver, attached to a string. When 
after an exciting chase about the tree Toby captured 
the graven image of his hereditary enemy his joy 
was heightened by eating him. It was Toby's sixth 
Christmas, and judging by the expression of satiety 
on his intelligent features, the most enjoyable of the 



Fredericksburg Rheingold now on draught. Don't fail 
to try it. 

The celebrated California Champagne, the home produc- 
tion of A. Finke's widow, including the fine brands of 
"Carte tlanche," "Imperial ( 'abinet, " are becoming more 
popular every day. This wine is moat excellent and supe- 
rior in quality. , 

If you want your jewelry, watches, clocks, fans, etc., 
neatly repaired and made as good as new, go to S. J. 
Pembrooke, watchmaker and jeweler, 212 O'Farrell street, 
near Powell. 

Take your families and children to Thors', 1025 Sutter 
street, for instantaneous photographs. All his work is 
artistic. 



THE WASP. 



TiieWa#;p 



VOLUME XVI. 



WHOLE NUMBER, 



SATURDAY, ----- JANUARY 2, 1886. 



PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT 538 CALIFORNIA ST. BY 

THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 



$5 00 
2 50 
1 25 



Terms to Subscribers : 
One copy, one year, or 52 numbers 
One copy, six months, or 26 numbers 
One copy for thirteen weeks ... 

Postage free to all parts of the United States, Canada 
and British Columbia. To all other countries one dollar 
per year extra. The country trade supplied by the San 
Francisco News Company. All Postmasters are authorized 
to take subscriptions for the Wasp, payable invariably in 
advance. 



[Entered at the Postoffice at San Francisco for transmission 
at second class rates.] 



No questionable advertisements will 
journal on any 



be inserted in this 



The Christmas number of the Wasp was an un- 
qualified success. While we felt confident that from 
the high character of its literary contents, and the 
artistic merit of its illustrations, it could not but 
meet with a warm reception, we were hardly pre- 
pared for the overwhelming demand that followed 
its appearance. The edition, 40,000, was almost 
double that of any holiday edition issued from this 
office, but before noon of Thursday, the day of issu- 
ance, it was exhausted. Though the news-dealers' 
orders, based on the past sales of the Christmas 
Wasp, were all filled, they kept sending for more, 
and when the supply gave out reproached themselves 
for not having quadrupled their orders. The news- 
boys purchased then papers from the dealers at 15 
cents, the regular price, and sold them on the street 
for 25 cents, thus making a handsome profit which 
compensated them in a measure for the drying up 
of the fountain-head. No time, labor or money 
was spared in the preparation of this edition. We 
did not follow the practices usual in- enterprises of 
this nature by heralding our work, for with the 
exception of a few modestly-worded circulars to our 
business patrons there were no advertisements set- 
ting forth its merits. We felt that the paper itself 
would be the best evidence of our good faith with 
the public. The crush of advertisements was so 
great that we were compelled to refuse those who 
came at the last moment, because to admit them 
would be to sacrifice a portion of our literary matter, 
and to make the issue interesting to our readers was 
the primary consideration. All illustrated advertise- 
ments were likewise refused because we had resolved 
to keep that department of the paper altogether 
clear of a commercial aspect. We have had our 
reward in the unprecedented demand for the Christ- 
mas Wasp and the necessity of largely increasing 
the regular weekly edition. For the coming year 
we will be chary of promises, simply assuring our 
readers that our constant endeavor will be to make 
the W-'asp in every way creditable to the Pacific 
Coast, as the only illustrated journal on this side of 
the continent. 



Democratic* camp there' D seems to be more of a 
division of preference — Hearst, Boggs, Foote, Dun- 
phy, Tarpey, Dunn, Green, Holtz and still others 
have each their admirers and advocates. But the 
candidate that seems to gather about him a more 
varied, far-reaching and general support in his party 
is Andrew J. Bryant of this city. From different 
portions of the State commendation of his candidacy 
comes up in the public prints. The latest is from 
that sterling Warwick of Democracy, the Los An- 
geles Herald, which in its issue of the 21st instant 
says : 

There is a strong movement in San Francisco to push 
ex-Mayor A. J. Bryant to the front. He will be strongly 
backed by the "solid " men of the Golden Gate, and he is 
a politician of decidedly strong points. He has his ene- 
mies, but these are countervailed by hosts of friends. He 
has not been conspicuous, of late, in the controversies of 
the party, and it is said that he would be warmly supported 
by both the Examiner and Alta ; which, if true, makes 
him a foeman worthy of the steel of any contestant, let 
him hail from where he may. He would be an aspirant 
of transcendent strength if he were indeed anxious for the 
nomination. 

More than ordinary significance must be given to 
this cogent send-off by the Berald, for it is well 
understood in political circles that the Democratic 
convention will meet in Los Angeles next year. 
The favor of that powerful organ under such circum- 
stances is an omen not to be ignored in prophetic 
calculations. In addition to the party organs named 
as supporting Bryant we feel correct in saying that 
the Argonaut would be also friendly to his candidacy. 
This of course always in subordination to its support 
of John F. Swift as a Republican candidate. With 
the JJhcammerj Alta and Argonaut at his back Bryant 
would seem to have the strongest "pull" for the 
nomination of any of the candidates yet named. 



to come. Also show them that the California 
pauper has better food and more of it per diem- than 
the British soldier, and they would indeed con- 
clude that California is a land of marvels. To feed 
over six hundred poor on turkey and mince-pie even 
one day in the year would seem to them an act of 
unparalleled extravagance. But we do it yearly, 
and we can afford it. Certainly we are living in a 
favored land, and at this season when it is meet to 
be thankful for all past blessings, we should be 
mindful of this consoling truth. 



We give place in this number to a communication 
from a subscriber anent the "Silver" pamphlet of 
Hon. William M. Stewart — simply to show the 
peculiar manner in which the subject affects some 
minds. His concluding sentences are so at variance 
with the facts in the premises that they carry their 
own refutation in the statement. Notwithstanding 
he seeks to ridicule the idea that a man could buy 
an article for a greenback dollar in New York and 
sell it for a gold dollar in San Francisco and make a 
hundred per cent, profit by the operation, history 
tells us that the thing was regularly done during the 
war. And not alone this, but some confiding cred- 
itors also remember that to their serious cost certain 
of their debtors paid their gold indebtedness to them 
in greenbacks when the same were worth but fifty 
per cent, of their face value in gold. Facts are 
stubborn things and knock theories endwise. Ex- 
Senator Stewart understands this matter thor- 
oughly and his brochure on the " silver question " is 
a valuable contribution to the literature of the 
subject. 



Mr. Parnell is certainly master of the situation in 
Irish politics. Whether Lord Salisbury be Premier 
or Mr. Gladstone, is now a question of who is to be 
the highest bidder, and Mr. Parnell is the politician 
who holds the political capital in his hands. Many 
British and Scotch members can only vote and affect 
votes in connection with private or comparatively 
unimportant bills. Mr. Parnell leads a vote which 
means the aspirations of a nation and the separation, 
under conditions, of Ireland from England. On 
this basis alone rests the union of the English and 
Irish leaders. "Who will give me mostl" asks, 
and legitimately, Mr. Parnell. He knows that 
Coercion Acts have been as plentiful under one 
administration as another. He remembers that, at 
the end of his brilliant campaign of Parliamentary 
obstruction, devised and continued on the strictest 
legal lines of the English constitution, Gladstone 
forced the cldture upon him and his followers in a 
scene which will become more memorable the more 
its significance is understood. And Irishmen them- 
selves are as familiar with the formal effects of 
"buckshot" under Liberals as Tories. It happens, 
however, that the Liberals, made up for most 
part of town capitalists, can afford to bid higher than 
the landlords, who are principally Tories. All fail* 
and well. The union may not be sincere, but in the 
game of politics sincerity is as a pawn to a castle. 



In another column we reproduce from interior 
exchanges some notices favorable to Chancellor 
Hartson for Governor. The weight of public senti- 
ment in the Republican party seems to be to-day 
decidedly in favor of Napa's favorite son. Were 
the convention to sit to-mox*row he would undoubt- 
edly be the nominee, and this on account both of 
availability and fitness. His political record would 
make d, winning platform for the party, .In the, 



We are fond of priding ourselves upon living in a 
land of plenty where poverty is rare, and where the 
extreme want that prevails elsewhere is utterly un- 
known. That this boast is not an idle one, a glance 
at the Christmas dinner set before the paupers of 
California will be proof positive. No other State in 
the Union, and no similar institution in Europe, 
regaled its paupers as California on that day of gen- 
eral festivity. Turkey and cranberry sauce, vegeta- 
bles of various kinds and mince pies were piled on 
each plate. And in no meager quantity. It is not 
exaggeration to say that one of those "helps " would 
be sufficient to satisfy two ordinary appetites, but it 
is a physiological fact that the appetite of the pauper 
is abnormal. March a Board of Poor Law Guardians 
from the city of London through that dining-room 
a few minutes before the bell rung, and it would 
afford then! a topic for wondering comment for years 



The New Yorkers have decided to dispense \wth 
California trout at the State Fish Hatchery. At 
the rate they are disappearing here it will not be 
long before we shall have likewise dispensed with 
them. Poachers, giant powder and an indifferent 
Fish Commission form a combination difficult to 
resist. Then nothing will be left us but the cat fish, 
which that accomplished naturalist, Professor Tom 
Flynn, has styled the long- whiskered trout of the 
Sacramento. 



Governor Zulick of Arizona is a new broom with 
a vengeance. His idea of protecting the Indians on 
the San Carlos reservation from a possible massacre 
by the whites, has a strong element of comedy in it. 
The Governor is green, very green, and probably 
thinks that of the two the frontiersman is more of a 
barbarian than the Indian. He has made a bad 
beginning and he will have to slay half a dozen 
Apaches single handed, or perform some such deed 
of daring valor, before the Arizonian takes him to 
his bosom. 



The dynamite business is assuming a farcical 
aspect, and the disinclination to serve on the jury 
seems to be general. Yet when the raid was made 
and the bloodthirsty nihilists lugged to the city 
prison the dailies reveled in the sensation. While 
the police are entitled to the credit of the detection 
and capture of those rattlebrained vagabonds, we 
never looked upon the affair hi a serious light, nor 
was it good policy on the part of the daily press to 
give it such prominence. The reputation of Cali- 
fornia for law and order is not so well established 
in the East that we can afford to whoop up our 
dynamiters, or, for sensational glory, consider that 
at any time this ridiculous business placed any 
member of the community in danger of assassina- 
tion, 



THE WASP. 



PRATTLE. 



To certain worthy correspondents blessed, appa- 
rently, with abundant leisure to prepare for another 
and a better world, and generously willing to devote 
a share of it to the guidance and admonition of the 
Waap in its course through tliis world, I beg leave 
to Bay : Let us begin the new year with a clear un- 
derstanding. I am not the editor of this paper. 
For montlis I have not written its editorial articles. 
I have nothing to do with its editorial management. 
Gentlemen, the new year brings new duties and 
new pleasures. Change is a law of nature — let us 
now mind ;/'""' business. 



Alas, alas, for the tourist's guide !— 
He turned from the beaten trail aside, 
Wandered bewildered, lay down and died. 

grim is the Irony of Fate : 
It cinches the man of low estate 
And puts the kibosh upon the great. 

It lights the Hreman to roast the cook ; 
The fisherman squirms upon the hook. 
And the flirt is slain with a tender look. 

The undertaker it overtakes ; 
It Baddies the cavalier and makes 
The haughtiest butcher into steaks. 

Assist me, gods, to balk the decree. 
Nothing I'll do and nothing 111 be. 
In order that nothing be done to me. 



The young embezzler of Colorado who recently 
tied his wife to the metals of a railroad and, going 
from bad to worse, brought up in Oakland, must 
have had a notable knack at allaying suspicion ; for 
all tile time that he was enjoying and profiting by 
the confidence of Ms employers he was, it seems, 
"moving in the best society of Leadville." What 
could they have been thinking of 1 — those employers. 



■'The body of Ryan,'' saith a reporter, concerning 
the boiler explosion at Lake Merced, " was taken to 
his late home." Yes, and there laid upon his late 
bed and relieved of his late boots. What ! was the 
home killed, too \ 



This ridiculous phrase is universal : it pervades 
all literature, from Sansome street to Van Ness 
avenue. The death notices in the daily press are 
full of — "funerals from his late residence." Is it 
surprising, brethren, that " everybody thinks he can 
write," when everybody sees how little sense, how 
little thought, how little knowledge are required in 
writing I The truth is everybody can write. As 
you do, gentlemen, as you do. 



Look what ye do ye "mob of gentlemen who 
write with ease " — what you do constantly and, I 
think, conscientiously. You write "donate" for 
give, or present ; "dove" for dived ; "most" for 
almost — "most all of them," "he is most there"; 
"or" for nor— "he could not go or stay"; "still 
continues " for continues ; " calculated " for likely — 
"an action calculated to injure himself" ; "liable" 
for likely — "the gun is liable to gooff"; "bet," 
" wet," " wed" and " quit" for betted, wetted, 
wedded and quitted, and "knit" for knitted; 
"quit" does duty, also, for stop and stopped — "he 
quit drinking " — which, by the way, none of you do. 



for chance, or opportunity; "literally" for figura- 
tively— *'the stream was literally full of fish"; 
" phenomenal " for extraordinary, and " phenome- 
non" for prodigy. Everything about you, good 
Mr. Reporter, is a phenomenon and you are your- 
self one, but I'll be hanged if you are a prodigy. 
I'll be hanged anyhow if I can't escape your English 
otherwise. 



" Gotten " for got. This is one of the most irri- 
tating of survivals. For ages there has been no 
such word as "gotten.'' In "begotten,"' " ill— 
begotten," etc., vestiges of its existence are pre- 
served, but not in our time has anybody said 
"gotten " who knows what he says and why he says 
it. May the devil Hy away with "gotten"! 
"Mad" for angry; "crazy" for mad; "clever" 
for amiable ; "leniency" for lenity; "claim" fol- 
lowed by a verb, or the conjunction "that" — "I 
claim to be a Democrat," "he claims that he is a 
Democrat " ; " plead " (pronounced pled, I suppose) 
for pleaded ; "apt " for likely — it \sapt to explode. " 
What is there objectionable in the word "likely" 
that we should be loth to use it \ I have already 
set down in this index expurgatori/us three criminal 
substitutes for it, in general use. Police ! police ! 



Enter a policeman azure with buttons or and a 
nose gides. The Policeman: "Where is he?" 
The Writer : "Where is he not? " 



Pardon me, friends — I had to take breath : your j 
ignorances are so joyous a theme that I fatigue my- 
self trying to record them as fast as they occur to : 
me. " Avocation " for vocation. " Avocation " j 
means, not a pursuit but the opposite : that which ! 
interrupts a pursuit. Trade is not a merchant's 
avocation, but baseball may be if he has the mis- 
fortune to like it. " Transpire " for occur ; " show " 



"Rendition" for rendering, or impersonation; 
"tragedy" for any event attended with death. A 
local writer once used the word in that sense fifty- 
one times in a single newspaper column, and if you 
had asked him to define the word "Sophocles" he 
would prob bly have answered that it was a kind 
of wash made of slippery elm. "Dirt" for earth ; 
"through" fordone — "he was thruuyh speaking; 
continued for discontinued — "the case was con- 
tinued till Monday next." This is lawyer's English, 
a noble example. "Expect" for suspect— "I ex- 
pect he has gone"; "raise" for grow, breed, rear, 
bring up, etc. — "she just raised" — no, that would 
not be an illustration in point. 



I do not know to what length I might extend this 
abominable list by taking thought ; these ( ' frightful 
examples " are merely such as occur to me as I write. 
Their use in this country is of alarming prevalence ; 
English writers use none of them — a statement 
which, I submit, is not adequately controverted by 
crying "dude," nor by pointing out the fact that 
British gold is being imported into this country to 
"strike down silver." It seems to me one of the 
most singular things in nature that we may almost 
be said to have no mother tongue, in America. In 
the difficulty we have in acquiring it, even the few 
of us who ever do acquire it, English has to us the 
character of a foreign language. I know of no 
similar instance in the world — a whole nation with 
no spontaneous language. The fact staggers me : 
I can find no explanation. It is not that an Ameri- 
can finds a difficulty in speaking English as the 
English do ; that is natural enough ; but that he 
finds a difficulty in speaking it as Americans do. 
In short, we have no aptitude for expression, no 
happy and unconscious knack at imparting ideas ; 
and when I contemplate what we have achieved in 
literature despite this crushing disability, I am lost 
in admiration of those to me partly unknown quali- 
ties which have succeeded against such fearful odds. 
It is like success by a painter born color-blind. 



' I make it a year of jubilee," 

The Pope with high joyousness wrote ; 
And yesterday, promptly, Frank M. P. 
Was abroad in a steel-pen coat ! 



' There are typographical errors that arc worse than 
crimes, and one was committed the other day by a 
country newspaper when it congratulated a promi- 
nent citizen who had just been initiated into Masonry 
upon having "attained the goat of Iris ambition." 



When Mr. Everhard was made 

Postmaster at Milwaukee 
The man who had to "go " displayed 

A disposition h;tlky. 
And when he camo to claim the place 

Received him with a kii '. 
That sent him whirling into space 

And cut him to the quick. 
Skylong as that successor sped, 
' A star-route ! " the incumbent said. 



They are proposing now to employ bloodhounds 
to hunt the intangible Apache. A good plan, a very 
admirable plan, Messrs. Generals, for the immediate 
purpose : but afterward ! Are all these dogs to 
reenter civil life as " colonels " / 



Those communities are said to be enlightened which 
contain a majority of enlightened citizens, and in which 
the base and senseless are in a minority. — Chronicle. 

Have the goodness, neighbor, to mention the 
name of a country like that ; we want to send over 
some sample copies of the fVaap. 



O Harry Mel.)., how you brandished the tongue 
And thundered you'd "lop every fungus ! " 

But Clunie ensued as your lopper you swung, 
And now you are opticus bunpus. 



The holy men of the Congregational Club pow- 
wowed long, .but could not unanimate, for they were 
inspired variously and singlewise. Some, rinding 
comfort in the wrath of God, held that laymen were 
worthy to be admitted to a share of the advantages — 
that it was the parson's duty to "deal damnation 
round " from the preach-box, instead of keeping it 
all for himself to woo the Lord's unanointed by 
blandishment of everlasting flame. Others, holding 
hard by the thesis that God is love, favored a policy 
of surprise : the conscience of the layman to be 
eased with assurance of the divine esteem, even to 
the gates of death and the incurring of the celestial 
grand bounce. They fought it out, the wrathers 
and the lovers— they strove strenuoiisly and exe- 
cuted mighty feats of tongue, but neither side pre- 
vailed. Their necks were clothed with thunder 
worse than Job's war-horse ; they roared like bulls 
of Bashan and pawed the plain till all was dim with 
desolating banks of driving dust and clattered their 
horns like castanets. But the more they fought, the 
less they did agree. Then rose in their midst one 
Rowell, a man of peace, who caught the Chairman's 
eye with an inkstand and thus began : " Brethren, 
ye all are right, and none differs with the rest. 
Behold, I reconcile your seeming variance : The 
wrath of God is a trusty weapon : it subdueth the 
layman. Preach it lovingly." And they were as 
one man. 



The Mercantile Library lowers its dues— 

"A step," says the Chronicle, "long demanded 
By public opinion." 'Tis surely no news 

That A wishes B to be more open-handed. 



I observe that Mr. Morrow has prepared a bill 
providing for the exchange of punched, clipped and 
otherwise mutilated coins for whole ones. I hope 
Congress will pass that bill forthwith : I have myself 
a number of clipped coins that nobody will take, 
and an excellent apparatus for clipping more. It 
will be no trouble at all : I am willing to clip every 
coin I can get, and will do custom-clipping in a neat 
and workmanlike manner for the clippings. 



6 



THE WASP- 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



wouldn't toot. 

"Well, I declare," said an overland passenger as 
he paid his check at a dinner station on the road the 
other day, "this is the first time I've had a chance 
to eat a square meal since I started from New York. 
At every other place on the line they blow the 
"ail-aboard" whistle before you're half through 
with your soup." 

"Yes," gloomily responded the proprietor, "you 
get the full forty minutes here, and I'm buying pools 
that I'll be in the poor-house in less than a niont* 
I tell you it's just ruining me." 

" How so '? " asked the traveler. 

' c It's all along of an ongratef ul daughter of mine, " 
said the landlord, sadly. " You see the engineer on 
this train was gone on her the worst way and she 
encouraged him a good deal. Now the engineers 
always stand in with the hotels and toot the whistle 
about five minutes after the passengers are seated at 
the table, and of course they all shin out then for 
fear of getting left. After the train pulls out the 
engineer puts in the other thirty-five minutes run- 
ning slow. " 

" Yes, I've noticed it," said the traveler, savagely. 

" Well, what does Mary Jane do but throw off' on 
the engineer and take up with the telegraph oper- 
ator here. And now Bill — that's the engineer — 
don't toot worth a darn just out of cussedness. 
Why, before, we never had to prepare but bean 
soup and they hardly had time to get away with 
that. Clear profit of ninety-seven cents a head on 
each eater. But now we have to run 'em clear 
through to pie — pie, mind you. I tell yer, stranger, 
I'm playing in hard luck. I ain't been making my 
salt since Bill stopped tootinV 



" Edith, what makes you dodge in that absurd 
way whenever nurse kisses you good night '? " 

" 'Cause I'm afraid she'll slap me afterwards. She 
does sometimes. Ask papa if she doesn't." 

(A competent nurse desires a situation. No ob- 
jection to going into the country.) 



'TAR ON DE HEEL. 



"Yes," said Manager Eberle of the California, as 
he wearily sipped his after-theater schooner at the 
Arion, "I feel pretty tired to-night. It's hard 
enough work to manage an ordinary stock company, 
but when it comes to a spectacular show with a bal- 
let troupe I tell you it's enough to turn a man's hah" 
gray. Why, we nearly had a mutiny back of the 
curtain tins evening," and the Chesterfield of the 
business office sighed mournfully. 

"Why, how was that?" asked a dramatic critic. 
" Well, you see, the city is full of visitors from up- 
country just now, and some of the miners from 
Bodie and other pay-rock places are still in the old 
California habit of throwing money on the stage 
when they get enthused — especially by the dancers. 
The first night or two the premieres gleaned quite a 
harvest when the curtain fell, though of course there 
weren't quite so many gold pieces in the lot as 
during the flush stock times. Well, after a night or 
two, when the dancers began looking for the dollars 
and halves they had mysteriously disappeared. No 
matter how many pieces were thrown on the stage, 
not a nickel could be found after the drop fell and 
the stage cleared. " 

"Somebody had nipped the coin, eh?" 
"Exactly. But who? That was the mystery. 
The prompter and scene-shifter kept close watch, 
but no one was seen to pick up anything. The 
minute the stage was cleared and the elephant, " El 
Mahdi," who was generally pretty restive, was 
backed off, they hunted around, but always with the 
same result. The coin had vanished. It began to 
look like spirits." 

" Why didn't you employ n detective 'I " 
" We thought of that, but then you see we really 
wanted to discover the thief. This state of things 
went on for a couple of weeks until it began to be 
noticed that the elephant's trainer seemed to be sus- 
piciously flush, so I watched him myself. I couldn't 
discover anything wrong about him though, and I 
made sure "El Mahdi" didn't pick up anything 
with his trunk. To-night, however, as I was stand- 
ing in the wings, one of the coryphees tickled the 
elephant on the hind knee and he raised Ms leg to 
scratch himself. To my astonishment I observed 
four trade-dollars sticking to the sole of his foot. 
On examination we discovered that the beast had all 
four feet smeared with tar and had been taught to 
tramp round on the coin while the stage was being 
cleared. The ballet went for his keeper's scalp then, 



you'd better believe. Why, he had to climb on the 
animal's back to keep from being lynched, and I 
guess he's going to sleep there to-night, as when I 
left there was a gang of supers with their arms full 
of bricks waiting at the stage-door for him to come 
out. I tell you a manager has a hard life of it — a 
hard life," and Mr. E. set 'em up again with the air 
of a man acquainted with sorrow from the ground up. 



HARD TO PLEASE. 

"Lots of hunting up in this section, isn't there 1 ' 
said a traveler to a weather-beaten old hunter as the 
train stopped at a mountain station in Wyoming the 
other day. 

"Wall, consid'ble, boss, an' there's no end o' 
them Inglish globe-trotters a-monkeyin' round up 
here arter buffler and sich. Them fellers makes me 
tired, they does." 

" How so 'I " 

"Wall, they want the airth, putty much. They 
ain't satisfied with nuthin', them fellers ain't. Why, 
thar wus that dood, young Lord What's-his-name — 
Lord Skinderly, they called him. He war up on 
the Devil's Fork, prowlin' roun' arter a grizzly about 
three months ago. Wall, I guess he found ther b'ar, 
as he didn't turn up ag'in. So not long ago his folks 
sent over a check fur a thousand dollars to pay fur 
lookin' up ther remains an' sendin' 'em home. Wall, 
thar warn't no remains that we cud diskiver 'cepting 
a p'ar er gaiters an' a Scotch cap. So we jess killed 
ther grizzly an' shipped it ter Lundon instid. Yer 
see, ther Lord was inside ther bar if he war any- 
whar, an' ther mout as well bury ther whole outfit. 
We sent it clear through on ice, mind you. But I'm 
ding-blamed ef ther relatives over thar didn't kick 
up ther biggest row yer ever seed. Them Englishers 
is ther most ongrateful people I ever hearn tell on— 
ther most ongrateful." 



It is surprising how quickly an enterprising news- 
paper catches on to the occurrence of important 
events. Yesterday's Saucelito Star contains the au- 
thentic news that Commodore Vanderbilt has just 
died in New York, " leaving a considerable estate," 
and that " Governor O'Donnell " was rotten-egged 
during a speech on the sand lots. We received 
some obscure intimation regarding this Vanderbilt 
affair ourselves, but the fact that O'Donnell was 
governor had so far escaped our eagle eye. There 
is no small envy about us, however, and if our 
trans-bay friend will agree not to give the thing 
away to our reptile contemporaries on this side we 
don't mind admitting that we are in receipt of relia- 
ble information to the effect that President Garfield 
has been assassinated, or run over, or something. 
There is also a rumor that Ifondricks is not feeling 
very chippy, but the report llwcs confirmation up t 
the hour of our going to press. 



GUBERNATORIAL. 



Chancellor Hartson the Choice. 



The telegraph reports another singular case of in- 
sanity from the overuse of hair-dye. The singularity 
lies in the fact that in this case it was the woman 
herself and not her husband who went crazy. 

• Derrick Dodo. 



THE SHARON CASE. 

" She's his wife! She's his wife! " Judge Sullivan cried— 
" It is plain she's his wife, and so I decide." 
Then Judges Deady and Sawyer replied : 
" You're wide of the mark, sir — exceedingly wide: 
" Not even his widow." For the man had died. 

Then the Justices of the Court Supreme 

Brought all of the papers beneath the gleam 

Of their spectacles— ream upon ream and ream— 

And remarked with solemnity : "It would seem 

They milked the man well. Let us prospect for cream." 

So they sit and they sit ; and that case they'll prod, 
From sod to subsoil, from subsoil to sod, 
With a magicolegal divining-rod, 
Then say, as their heads with solemnity nod : 
"She's his wife," or, "She's not." Then they'll die, 
thank God!" B. 



PHOTOGKAPHING OUR VINEYAKDS. 
I. W. Taber, the photographer, is now engaged on a 
work which is a display of the most public spirited and 
useful enterprise. He is photographing all the leading 
vineyards and wine-cellars in the State, and it need hardly 
be added that the work is of the most artistic nature. This 
Mr. Taber is doing at his own expense, and when the col- 
lection is complete those pictures will be presented in book 
form. Of course they will be found invaluable to horticul- 
tural and immigration associations, as well as to all inte- 
rested in this great industry of our State. 



A few days ago one of the San Francisco papers 
made mention of the names of several possible can- 
didates on the Republican ticket next year for 
Governor. Hon. C. Hartson of Napa was among 
the number spoken of, and if we should take the 
expression of the country press as the voice of the 
people Mr. Hartson is unquestionably their choice. 
He is spoken of most favorably by all, Democratic 
and Republican alike. It is a question in our mind 
whether Mr. Hartson could be induced to accept 
the nomination. It is plain, however, that there 
will be a determined effort to bring him to the front. 
And if his friends are successful it is safe to say that 
no better selection could be made to lead the Re- 
publican party to success in 1886. He is popular, 
he is honest, he is capable and possesses great de- 
cision of character — in short, the very traits essential 
to guide the State through a successful administra- 
tion. We trust Mr. Hartson will see that he is 
" called," and will not object when the time comes. 
— Vallcjo Chronicle. 

A gentleman visited Pasadena last week who will 
probably be the next Governor of California. We 
refer to the Honorable Chancellor JIartson of Napa, 
who has already filled several important stations in 
the public service and is the general choice of the 
Republican party for its next candidate for the gov- 
ernorship. Mr. Hartson is a pioneer of Napa, whose 
public spirit and enterprise have made him one of 
the most useful and respected citizens of that sec- 
tion. His business sagacity has contributed largely 
to the prosperity of that region, and his eminent 
public service has already met with handsome recog- 
nition. He has represented Napa several times in 
the State Legislature, has been its choice for Con- 
gressman, and under President Arthur filled the 
important position of United States Internal Rev- 
enue Collector for the San Francisco District, a duty 
which he discharged the most satisfactorily of any 
incumbent the office had ever had. Mr. Hartson is 
a man of advanced views, of liberal and progressive 
ideas, of sound financial policy and unquestioned 
statesmanship. He is, moreover, a man of character 
and standing, and has a brilliant reputation at stake 
which he will be careful to preserve in any position 
to which lie might be called. He is one of Califor- 
nia's successful men, and like her other leaders in 
business exhibits the same valuable qualities in the 
public service which he shows in the conduct of his 
private affairs. — Pasadena and Valley Union, De- 
cember 18th. 

"the people's choice." 

It seems to tis this multiplicity of candidates is 
only an attempt to defeat Hon. Chancellor Hartson, 
who is unquestionably the people's choice. — Trinity 
Journal. 

To the above notices we append the following 
extracts from the Napa county papers, showing that 
Judge Hartson is strong in the affections of his own 
home voters and that Napa will sustain him unani- 
mously in convention and at the polls : 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson is already mentioned as 
a prominent candidate for Governor in 1886 on the 
Republican ticket. We believe that no more popu- 
lar man could be found in the Republican ranks. 
As Collector of Internal Revenue in the San Fran- 
cisco district Mr. Hartson has made the most efficient 
officer ever filling the position and his revenue office 
was said to be one of the best conducted in the United 
States. Mr. Hartson is known as a public-spirited 
citizen, one whose name is above reproach and whose 
marked abilities make him a prominent factor in 
California statesmanship. His nomination we feel 
assured will be equivalent to his election. — St. 
Helena Star. 

Of those mentioned for Governor we believe the 
Republicans of this county will place a candidate in 
the field who will distance all competitors. Our 
readers will readily anticipate that this will be our 
own distinguished fellow-townsman, Hon. Chancel- 
lor Hartson. He has thus far honored every posi- 
tion to which he has been called. He would not 
disappoint the people in the office of Governor. 
When he retired from the office of Internal Revenue 
Collector, which he had so worthily filled for four 
years, the commendatory notices lie received from 
every section of the State indicated clearly that he 
could not be long without another public trust. 
Whom have we in the Republican party better fitted \ 
to perform the duties of that great office than Chan- ( ' 
cellor Hartson ? — Napa Daily Register. 



THE WASP. 



THE YOUNG HYPOTHECATOR. 



A Practical Christmas Story. 



BY DERRICK DOPD. 

Arbutus Skidmore was a humble watchman in a 
savings bank. For fourteen years man and boy, 
he had washed the windows, cleaned the spittoons, 
and accepted his small wageB from the lordly cash- 
ier every Saturday night with the obsequious def- 
erence that became the insiguitic int serf he was. 
He even endured the jokes aud patronage of the 
junior clerks, who sent him out for their sand- 
wiches and cigarettes, and occasionally conde 
gcendingly tossed him a nickel, as if to mark the 
wide difference in their Bocial and business station. 
But humble as he seemed, and as hopeless as he 
knew was all expectionuf a "raise " or promotion. 
Arbutus was not without ambition. Not that he 
cherished the desire alleged to be inborn to the 
struggling American youth of one day becoming 
President, Arbutus knew that there wasn't niucn 
money made in the Whiie Bouse nowadays, and 
besides his tastes were not depraved enough for 
him to look upon the career of a politician without 
a shudder. In fact, when Skidmore read in the 
papers the list of Cleveland's Pacific Coast ap- 
pointees, he used to go off alone into the lumber 
closet and have a good shudder all by himself. 

No ; what Arbutus swore he would one day 
achieve was wealth, ducats, four per cents, and 
respectability. And there was a wild romance 
underlying this resolve, for had he not, when the 
occasional bearer of late telegrams to the houBe of 
the President of the bank, old Azariah Boody, 
been infatuated with the beautiful vision of Ban- 
doline Boody, the banker's only child, who brought 
him doughnuts aud restaurant claret with her own 
lily fingers as he waited in the hall. But he had 
hidden his paBsion and bided his time, for as yet 
"Bandie" was still chewing gum at Mills' Semi- 
nary and was having her teeth fixed by Dr. 
Younger, so Arbutus patiently studied and 
brooded over the future. Many a long night, 
while the giddy bank clerks were thronging the 
Tivoli's gilded halls of pleasure, or mingling with 
the gay vortex of fashionable dissipation at the 
Sutter-street " rink, he lay on his little pallet in 
front of the safe and poured over the newspapers 
and digested the dispatches. Many a haughty 
graduate in base-ball of Harvard or Cornell would 
have been mortified to know that this lowly, de- 
spised watchman was better versed in the Police 
Gazette than himself; in fact, young Skidmore 
could recite whole pages of the Day's Doings with- 
out a mistake. 

At las* the end of hiB study and self-denial ap- 
proached, and early in the holidays as he counted 
the sum he had so painfully saved from his meagre 
pittance, he found enough to purchase a second- 
hand kit of burglar tools belonging to a local poli- 
tician who had just been elected Supervisor, and 
so had no further use for them. 

And thus it chanced that on Christmas Evp, 
while the gay throngs of gift-buyers were crowd- 
ing the brilliantly lighted shops, the pale, thought- 
ful watchman was hard at work monkeying with 
his cold chisel, crowbar and dynamite cartridge. 
And e'er the first pale beams of morning shone in 
the blushing eaBt he had safely packed away in his 
gripsack the last bundle of securities and gold 
notes the safe contained. Then, after a refreshing 
bath and breakfast at the Palace, to which he at 
once moved his baggage, he called upon the Bank 
President and requested a private interview. 

" Mr. Boody," he said quietly, as the binker 
came hastily down in his dressing gown : " I have 
come to ask you for a Christmas present." 

"Dear me," said the millionaire, peevishly, "I 

thought the bank waB on fire, or something . 

Well — well — I'll see if there is an old pair of pants 
around somewhere." 

" Pants, old Beeswax ? " returned the once poor, 
downtrodden watchman, " What are old pants to 
a loving heart ? I desire the hand of your daugh- 
ter Bandoline." 

" Why, the fellow's drunk ! " roared Mr. Boody, 
and he stepped toward the indicator to turn on an 
alarm for a policeman. 

"Listen, Old Stick-in-the-mud," continued Ar- 
butus haughtily : (t According to the annual state- 
ment you handed to the directors, there should b^ 
assetB on hand to the amount of $861,043.20. I 
find this total £64,000, short. But let that ppss; 
I have no time to bother with trifles. Now, I 
have scooped in the entire boodle, and the ques- 
tion is, what are you going to do about it 'I " 



" Villain ! I will have you arrested ! " aud old 
Boody made another dive to turn on the alarm. 

" Don't trouble yourself," said Skidmore, qui- 
etly. " I cut the wires before you came down ; and 
besides, what do you take me for / You are deal 
ing with a clear-headed, enterprising hypothecator ! 
Not a vulgar thief ! Suppose you had me arrested ; 
what would be the use J I have already seen th- 
chief and captain of detectives and arranged their 
commission. I have applied for $20,000 bonds at 
the Security Insurance Company, and retained 
both Barnes and Tyler. I have inserted an ad— 1 
mean a card — in the morning papers, asking for a 
suspension of public opinion pending litigation, 
and have engaged a compartment through to Can- 
ada. Everything has been attended to, so you will 
see that this is a case for compromise only." 

l * What's the best you can do ? " groaned the old 
man, Binking into a chair. 

" Of course, you see," replied Arbutus, " the ad- 
visability ofr keeping the money in the family 
Now, I've got a license in my pocket and a gospel 
sharp out there in the coupe'. Bandoline and I 
will get married and take a trip to Montreal. Af- 
ter the bank has gone into liquidation, and the de- 
positors comfortably Bettled at the poor-house, you 
can join us in New York with the reBt of the fam- 
ily and I'll take the whole outfit a scoot through 
Europe. How does that strike you ?" 

" It ain't a bad scheme," said Boody, thought- 
fully ; "I'll call Bandie." 

" Well," said that young lady, after the proposi- 
tion had been unfolded to her, " here's a how- 
d'-do ! " Then she added in her pretty, quaint 
Nob Hill patois : " Do I catch on to a solitaire ? " 
"I Baw a regular decknailer as I came by 
Shreve's window," said Skidmore. " We'll get it 
on the way to the boat. It's a little off color, but 
it don't Bhow it by gaslight." 

"I guesB it's a whack," said Bandoline, medi- 
tatively. " Young Billy Sooney has been purring 
round me a good deal lately, but he won't have a 
bean until old Soon passeB in his checks, and good- 
ness knows when he'll come off the nest. Yes ; I 
think I'll have to go you one if I lose." 

And as the merry chimes from the neighboring 
BteepleB ushered in with glad acclaim the day 
of peace and good will toward men, the blushing 
bride and manly groom emerged from the door of 
the princely mansion to begin their auspicious 
journey through life, although Arbutus had to beg 
old B — not to throw his slipper after them, as he 
did not wish to pay for a smashed coupe. And e'er 
many happy days had fled the fond parents re- 
ceived a telegram from their daughter, stating 
that the loving pair had reached Quebec in safety 
and that " Buty was a Daisy from the head waters 
of Daisy Creek." 

******** 
And now, dear reader, do not for a moment sup- 
pose that it is merely for the sake of colossal gain, 
or with a view solely that the entranced world 
should wreath the writer's brow with the chaplet 
of undying fame that he has told this weird and 
touching tale of wild life in the West. Ah, no ! 
Such is not our thought. But if we have brought 
courage and comfort to one doubting, despairing 
heart — if we have renewed in the breast of even 
one struggling, unappreciated and unfortunate 
young man, the heaven bom resolve to bear 
bravely up against ill fortune and poverty, to ever 
strive onward and upward — to lay low in the high 
graBS till his chance comes for a grab at the pie, 
then— ah, then indeed, have we not labored in 
vain. 

Do not hesitate to call at the Collateral Bank, 15 
Dupont street, where every one is well treated. Do 
not forget that advances are made on all kinds of 
property. 

At the last meeting of the Mercantile Library it 
was decided to reduce the dues to 50 cents a month. 
The initiation fee is $1.00. The library room is 
open from 9 a. m. to 9 P. m. The reading and chess 
rooms are open from 7:30 a, m. to 9 p. h. There 
are 54,000 volumes of books on the shelves and 325 
newspapers and periodicals on file in the reading- 
room, On Saturday evenings all rooms are open 
until 9:30 P. M. 



POLITICS TOO MUCH FOR HIM. 



A lady on Fifth avenue, New York, quickly 
summoned a doctor. 

"Oh, doctor, my husband is nearly dead. He 
attended a caucus last night. He made four speeches 
and promised to bo with his fellow-citizens again to- 
day ; but, oh, doctor, ho looks nearly dead." 

" Has he been in politics long '. " 

"No, only last year. He worked hard for 
*Jainus-McCaulay's election. 

"He will get well, madam! He has a stomach 
for any disease, if he worked for him \ " 

Political life, of short or long duration, is very 
exhausting, as is evident from the great mortality 
which prevails among public men. Ex-U. S. Sen- 
ator B. K. Bruce, who has long been in public life, 
says : 

"The other day, when stepping into a car at a- 

crossing, 1 found Dr. within, who eyed me up 

and down in a surprised way, remarking : 

" Why, Senator, how well you look ! " 

" ' Well, I feel pretty well,' I answered." 

The doctor uttered an incredulous reply when 
the Senator frankly told him, in answer to an in- 
quiry, that it was Warner's Safe Cure which accom- 
plished for him what the profession had failed to do. 
Senator Bruce says his friends are very much as- 
tonished at tliis revelation of power. — Hie Globe. 

'Overwhelmingly defeated. 

GUBERNATORIAL. 



Ella : What do you think of that for a photo- 
graph, Mary ? It makes me look like a fool, I 
think. The photographer told me to look natural — 
something I could never do when I am told to do it. 

Mary: Why, Ella, I -think 'you succeeded ad- 
mirably. — Boston Transcript. 



North and South United. 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson of Napa has been visit- 
ing San Diego a couple of days on his way home 
from the East. Mr. Hartson was for a number of 
years Collector of Internal Revenue for the District 
of California, but resigned his position upon the in- 
coming of the new Administration. He is one of 
the Republican "Old Guard" of the State, and has 
served several terms in each House of the Legis- 
lature with great ability. His name is very promi- 
nently mentioned in connection with the Republican 
nomination for Governor next year. — San Dieyo 
Union, Dec. 10. 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson of Napa City, late Uni- 
ted States Internal Revenue Collector for California, 
was in town yesterday. Judge Hartson is en route 
from the East, and stopped over here to see a few 
old friends. The name of Judge Hartson has been 
prominently mentioned as a possible candidate for 
Governor on the Republican ticket next year. Mr. 
Hartson is well known to the people of California, 
having represented his county in the Assembly sev- 
eral years. He has also served several terms in the 
Upper House of the California Legislature. In 1881 
he was appointed Internal Revenue Collector for 
the District of California by President Garfield, but 
on the inauguration of Cleveland he immediately 
sent in his resignation, being the first Republican 
official in California to voluntarily throw up his of- 
fice. Should the Republicans of California tender 
to Judge Hartson the nomination for Governor, 
there would be no doubt of a sweeping victory for 
them. — San Bernardino Index, Dec. 5. 

BACHELORS' OUTFITS. 
Such as Shaving Stands, Dressing Tables, Sniuking 
Chairs, Foot-Rests, etc., in great variety, at the ware- 
rooms of the California Furniture Company, Nos. 220 to 
226 Bush street. ___^_ 

Valentine Hassmer is the sole manufacturer of the cel- 
ebrated lung and cough syrup. It has no equal. 

Uncle Jacobs, 013 Pacific street, loans money to every- 
body at low rates of interest. 



EXTRACT°'BEEF 



UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED, 
SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHERS BY PHYSI 1 
CIANS/JHEMISTS AND SCIENTIF 
IC MEN GENERALLY., 

ONE TRIAL INSURES AN 
ENDORSEMENT. ' 

J0HNT.CUTT1NG&00 

SOLE AGENTS - 



10 



THE WASP= 



TMTT'S 




25 Y EARS IN USE. 

The Greatest Medical Triamp li of -'fee Age 
SYMPTOMS OF A 

TORPID LEVER. 

Loss of appetite* Bowels costive. Pain in 
the head, with a dull sensation in the 
back part* Fain under the shoulder- 
blade, Fullness after eatino with a dis- 
inclination to exertion of body nr mind, 
Irritability of temper, Low si irits, with 
aieelinerof havinc neglected some duty, 
Wear ineas, Dizziness, Fluttering at the 
Heart* Dots before the eyes, Headache 
over the right eye* Restlessness* with 
fitful dreams, Highly colored Urine* and 

CONSTIPATION. 

TUTT'S PILLS are especially adapted 
to such cases* one dose effects such a 
change of feeling as to astonish the sufferer. 

They Increase the Appetite,and cause the 
body to Take on Flesh* thus the system la 
nourished, and by their Tonic Action on 
the I>ieestiveOreanB,I?ee;ular Stools are 
produced. Price asic. 4A Murray St.JV. Y * 

TUTT'S EXTRACT SARSAPAR1LLA 

Renovates the body, makes healthy flesh, 

strengthens the weak, repairs the wastes of the 

system with pure blood and hardmus'le; tones 

the nervous system, invigorates the brain, and 

imparts the vigor of manhood. Si. Sold by 

druggists. 

OFFICE: 44 3Iurray St., 5few York. 



PURE OLD TENNESSEE 




WHITE RYE WHISKY. 



A. Fenkliausen & Co. 

414 FRONT ST. San Francisco, Cal. 



Capital, Paid in Full, 

$200,000 00 

Assets Dec. 31, 1884, 

$443,381 05. 

LOSSES PAI1> 

Since Company Organized, " 

$1,133,534 80 

I'RlNilPAL OFFICE, 

t»!» California St., 

(Safe Deposit Building) S. F. 
JOHN. H. WISE, - - President 
CHAS. A. LATON, - - Secretary 



AGAII\ IX THE ii ■:■,■»: 

CRUSHED INDIAN 

FOR BREAKFAST. 

JOHN T. CUTTING & Co., Sole Agents. 




TO THE NEW YEAR. 

Xew \ ear, what hast thou that is new — 
AVliat themes ami schemes to mark thy reign ; 
- What great event, what social bent ; -' 
What pleasure -new, and what new pain ? 

What crazes new, what new resorts ; 
. What whims to prove esthetes a a fait ; 
What book, what song 1 to please the throng : 
What. crowning scandal of the day? 

What new device for killing time ; 

And what for. one another's killing; 
What new surprise in cant, in crime ; 

What last new trick to turn a shilling ? 

And' what new march on virtue's side — 
Against the meanness, .mockery sinning ; 

What rise in that slow, silent tide 

Where hope and faith are surely winning?' 

What knowledge new to bless the race, 

To solace suffering, stem decay ; 
What new good cheer which year by year 

May gladder make each New Year's Day? 

What beauty new, what grace evolved 

Prom virtue's everlasting laws; 
What purer thrills, what nobler wills ; 

What firmer bands with fairer cause ? 

What sign, New Year, of Love's new sway, 
What farther step/what clearer view 

To prove' old things shall pass away, 
That all things are becoming new? 

Cdssell's Fiimily Magazine. 



THE NATIONAL COMPLAINT. 
Dyspepsia is the national complaint. Almost every 
other man or woman you meet hay it, and the result is that 
the number of pseudo-remedies for it are as numerous as 
Pharaoh's host. They are for the most part worthless. 
There is, however, a searching eradicant of this" distressing 
and obdurate malady, one whose genuine merits long since 
raised it to a foi'emost place among the staple medicines of 
America. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters extirpates dyspep- 
sia with greater certainty and promptitude than any 'known 
remedy, and is a most genial invigorant, appetizer and aid 
to secretion. These are not empty assertions, as thousands 
of our countrymen and women who have experienced its 
effects are aware, but are backed up by irrefragable proofs 
repeatedly laid before the public. The Bitters also pro- 
mote a regular habit of body and give a healthful stimulus 
to the urinary organs. 

KEA1) 'THIS. 
Mr. A. H. Baldwin (formerly McDowell & Baldwin) of 
the San Francisco Carpet Beating Machine, 1321 and 1323 
Market Street, has improved new machinery throughout. 
He calls for carpets, cleans and relays them all in one 
day. Renovating and refitting carpets a specialty. Tele- 
phone 3036. Only tirst-class workmen employed. No 
Chinamen. 



BEWARE OP IMPOSITION. 
Those troubled with imperfection of sight, and those 
needing a change in their condition of adjustment of Spec- 
tacles, should beware of impostors who know nothing of 
the science of optical work. Mr. L. A. Berteling, so long 
established at 427 Kearny street, has made eye-sight Ms 
great specialty for years'. ive him a call. 



Any lady can buy all the new styles in feathers and 
flowers at the Wonder, 1024 Market street. Cheapest 
house in the city. Wholesale and retail. 



A NEW HOME FOE ALL ON EASY TEEMS. 
The New Home Sewing Machine Company, having I 
established a distributing office at No. 034 Market street, 
San Francisco, is rapidly securing the largest sale on this 
coast, the same as it commands at the East, by reason of 
its superior qualities and freedom from annoyances. (See ! 
advertisement on inside cover. ) 

PHILADELPHIA BEEWEEY. 
The Philadelphia -Brewery has sold during the year 1885 
nearly 70,000 barrels of beer, being twice as much as the 
next two leading breweries in this city. (See Official Ee- 
port, U. S. Internal Revenue, January, 1885.) The beer 
from this brewery has a Pacific. Coast renown unequaled 
by any other on the Coast. 

CUKHS YOUR COLD. 
AH persons suffering from Cough, Cold, Asthma, Bron- 
chitis, Loss of Voice or any affection of the Throat and 
Lungs should try" 38 Cough Mixture and be cured. For 
sale by all druggists. Br J. Rhodes & Co., manufacturers, \ 
San Jose, Cal. 

00C0B0LL0— COCOBOLLO. 
If you want to see something perfectly elegant go to the 
California Furniture Company, 220 to 2215 Bush street, and j 
see their new Sideboards of Cocobollo, especially the one I 
ornamented with mythical figures. 



I X L 

WE>V STORE. 

IVEW GOODS. 

For Garments or a complete Suit of Clothes, 
something in the line of Underwear, Over- 
wear, White or Colored Shirts, Collars, Cuffs, 
Neckwear, Footwear or Headgear, Camping 
Outfits of any Kind, or. in fact, anything in 
the line of Outfit* for Men, Youths, Boys or 
Children, no matter what, we can furnish it, 
aud give you a stock REPRESENTING A 
QUARTER OF A HII I IO\ DOLLARS TO 
SELECT FROM. 

GREAT 

IX L 

924 TO 932 MARKET ST. 



A The Largest Establishment in its Line 
in the United States. 

PRICE LIST Sent Free on Application. 



GOLDBERG, BOWEN 

& COMPANY, 

THE 

LEADING GROCERS 

OF SAX FBAXCISCO. 

428 TO 432 PINE STREET, 

Next to California Market. 

Have received Direct Importations of the following 

HOLIDAY TABLE DELICACIES 



Strawberry Marcipau. 
Wiesbaden Prunes "Confites." 
Wiesbaden White Strawberries. 
French Plum Pudding. 
Holland Cucumbers, extra large 
German Asparagus. 
Royal Stilton Cheese. 
Dresden Patience Wafers. 
-Sue hard's Swiss Chocolate. 
Delicatess Herring. 
Macaroon Figs. 



Nurcnburg Honey Cake, 
Mincemeat, 54b. pails, 75 cents. 
Royal Dehesa Raisins. 
English Plum Pudding. 
Paper-shell Walnuts. 
French Asparagus. 
Royal Cheddar Cheese. 
Belfast Irish Bacon. 
Strasbourg Pate de Foie Gras. 
German Cranberry Sauce. 
Lacoum Fi<*s> 



Our Cellar is stocked with the Oldest and Rarest Medicinal 
Sherries, Ports, Clarets, Sauternes, Burgundies, Whiskies and 
Champagnes. 



General Reduction in Prices. 



Send for our New Catalogue of Prices before 
purchasing elsewhere. 



Oysters, Fish, Game, Ice Cream— Manning's. 428 Pine. 



GOLDBERG, BOWEN & CO. 

Successors to Lebenhaum. Goldberg & Bowen 

428 to 432 PINE STREET, SAN T FRANCISCO. 
Telephone No. 1. 



THE WASP. 



11 



HOW TO ADVERTISE A BOOK. 



Advertisement. 

"A most excellent work." — London Spectator. 
Review in the London "Spectator." 

In reading this ridiculous book one cannot help 
thinking that if our professional assassins would let 
statesmen and belated citizens alone and give their 
whole attention to such mischievous idiots as the 
persons who write trash like this, they would per- 
form for humanity a most excellent work. 

Advertiseme>t. 

"The author of this book is worthy to be named 
with Shakespeare and Hugo. " — New York Tribune. 
Review in the New York "Tribune." 

The author of this book is worthy of no considera- 
tion at the hands of either the critic or the hangman. 
The villain seems to aspire to be named with Shake- 
spi are and Milton, though it is rather surprising that 
he should know this would be an honor, seeing he 
knows nothing else. 

Advertisement. 
"Profound, comprehensive, many-sided and alto- 
gether perfect." — Harper's Weekly. 

Review in "Harper's Weekly." 
The criminal ignorance displayed upon every page 
uf this absurd volume of ambitious balderdash is 
profound, comprehensive, many-sided and attogethe 
perfect. 

Advertisement. 
"The author brings to his task a healthy taste 
and a knowledge of sound literary principles." — 
London Times. 

Review in the London "Times." 
It is impossible to overstate, and difficult even to 
conceive, the original incapacity that the author 
brings to his task. A healthy taste and a knowledge 
of sownd literary principles are evidently no part of 
his intellectual equipment. 

Advertisement. 
"He has a fertile mind and a keen discrimina- 
tion." — Atlantic Monthly. 

Review in the "Atlantic Monthly." 
Throughout this work the author shows that in 
addition to a barren intellect and a matchless stu- 
pidity of discernment, he has ct/erocious heart and a 
reptile mind, and feels a keen discomfort when not 
reveling in the crimes and excesses of a base 
im&gi'natioii. 

Advertisement. 
"Fine writing." — New York Nation. 

Review in the New York "Nation." 
The book proves, at least, that in this age of liter- 
ary activity a man can reasonably hope for a pub- 
lisher, even when breaking the grammatical Deca- 
logue, eschewing common sense, ignoring decency 
and, in fine, writing like a blackguard. 

WHERE IS THE SCHOOLMASTER? 



and gold in London is about 25 per cent. The wheat or 
cotton merchant from India can bell in Liverpool for the 
same number of dollars that he gave for the article iu India, 
and have 25 per cent, advantage over the merchant from 
the United States. The Indian merchant has the same 
advantages as the merchants of San Francisco had during 
the war, when they bought goods in the Fast with green- 
backs worth SO cents on the dollar in coin and sold them on 
the Pacific Coast for gold. 

Now look at that ! Actually this man, whose 
voice has been heard in the halls of legislation ; who 
has pointed with pride to his record ; who has had 
the proudest moments of his life ; who has hurled 
back allegations, and exercised, generally, the proud 
prerogatives of a freeman in the seats of power — 
this man has so little knowledge of affairs as to be- 
lieve that there is no way of purchasing wheat as 
cheaply in a country whose currency is gold as in 
one whose currency is silver. Let me see if I can't 
make it pellucid to him. 

WgS is a wheatgi'ower in a country with a silver 
currency, WgG in one with a gold. WeG is a 
wheateater who pays in gold. CS is a cuss who 
buys for him from WgS, CG another, who buys 
from WgS. WeG will pay a gold dollar a bushel. 
Now CS can pay WgS a silver dollar (worth seventy- 
five cents in gold) a bushel, and be happy ; but 
obviously if CG pay WgG a gold dollar a bushel he 
is at a disadvantage of twenty-five per cent. But 
can't he pay seventy-five cents in gold I And isn't 
that just what he would pay? And wouldn't that 
put him even with CS i (As Mr. Stewart leaves out 
all considerations of cost of production and trans- 
portation, I do the same.) Wouldn't WgS and 
WgG then have received the same value for their 
wheat, CS and CG have got it at the same cost, to 
sell it to WeG at the same price 1 Where is whose 
" advantage " '( Of course if Mr. Stewart denies the 
possibility of paying seventy-five cents in gold be- 
cause there are no gold cents, I haven't another 
word to say. and he can keep the cake — he certainly 
has taken it. 

His greenback talk is of a piece with his other 
effulgent proposition. As if a man buying some- 
thing in New York for a greenback dollar could 
necessarily, and by virtue of that fact, sell it here 
for a gold dollar, making one hundred per cent, 
profit ! Every business man who ever bought and 
and sold in different currencies knows there never 
was and never could be a time when there was any 
other advantage in paying greenbacks for goods in 
New York than convenience in calculation. You 
exchanged your gold for greenbacks simply to avoid 
making a calculation on each article purchased. 
For President in 1889, William M. Stewart. 

Stuffsiok. 



Editor of the Wasp — Sir: I am not a gold-bug 
nor a silver-worm. I would scorn to nourish any 
opinion whatever on a financial question : I'm not 
that kind, as the ox said to the milkmaid. When 
other 

Beggars, gathered in. congenial flocks, 
Babble of banks, insurances and stocks, 

the forum doesn't ring any with my eloquence. 
When the hard-hearted ferryman professed himself 
unable to understand how it could make any differ- 
ence to a man without money which side of the river 
he was on, he was talking to me. And I don't see 
how it can make any difference to most of the men 
ttwho discuss this silver business which side of the 
5 question they are on. It certainly doesn't make any 
fldifference to the country. All the same, sir, I'm 
not the lad to keep my tongue in my pocket when 
another fellow talks crimson bosh on either side ; , 
and I'm alluding to the Hon. William M. Stewart 
hard as ever I can. That person has recently 
extruded from the mind of him a full fathom of crit- 
icism on the silver clauses of the President's message. 
I don't know, for the life of me, whether he is right 
or wrong in his general argument, for I've made the 
mistake of considering both sides — than which 
nothing is more confusing. But in one place he 
rtters star-spangled nonsense the worst I ever saw. 
Here it is : 

All products of India are bought on the silver basis. 
-Vheat and cotton are purchased in India with silver and 
told in Europe for gold. The difference between silver 



BYRON'S SPRINGS. 
Of the many pleasant resorts in California, Byron 
Springs, in Contra Costa county, hold a leading place. 
The Springs are but thirty-eight miles from San Francisco, 
all rail, and the baths and waters are a certain and speedy 
cure for all forms of blood and skin disorders, and most 
diseases that arise from defective nutrition and deranged 
secretions of the system in general. The climate — mild, 
balmy and health-giving— makes the place especially de- 
sirable as a winter resort for invalids. The hotel has been 
recently refurnished and renovated, and visitors may be 
assured of receiving there all the comforts of a home. Mr. 
Pierce Ryan, the manager, will send descriptive circulars 
to all desiring further information. 



AMUSEMENTS. 

The magnificent spectacle of A Tour Around the World 
in Eighty Days, produced by the Kiralfys at the California, 
has crowded that theater to the doors since its opening 
night, ami the prospects are that "Standing Room Only " 
will continue to be the motto at this house during tin- en- 
tire engagement of this famous organization. In many 
respects the present representation exceeds in gorgeousness 
of appointments and elaboration of detail any of the great 
spectacular shows we have witnessed in the past. It is 
difficult to numerate all the novelties and specialties going 
to make up the dazzling whole. The ballet is large, splen- 
didly drilled and presents only new and striking dances. 
The danseuse, Madamosielles de Rosa and Astegrino, are 
the most eminent performers in their line now in the coun- 
try. Both Miss Tracy and Miss Watson are not only clever 
actresses, but as well exceptionally handsome and graceful 
women. The dramatic company, generally, is excellent, giv- 
ing new interest to the well known but always effectivestory 
of the eccentric Englishman's famous wager. The marches 
and tableaux have all the picturesque effect for which the 
Kiralfys are famous, while among the many novelties in- 
troduced the Magnani troupe of French street musicians, 
and the huge elephant, El Mahdi, cause unmeasured de- 
light to the audience. Altogether, a more imposing and 
complete triumph of the spectacular branch of the dramatic 
art could hardly be conceived, and our holiday sight-seers 
are fortunate in being able to enjoy so brilliant and satis- 
factory an entertainment. Those who take the precaution 
of securing seats well in advance will have reason to com- 
mend their forethought, as the house seems to become more 
uncomfortably crowded each succeeding night. Great pre- 
parations are being made for an equally magnificent pro- 
duction of the Jilack Crook, the enormous success of The 
Tour having encouraged the management to still greater 
efforts in the spectacular line. Every scene will be new, 
and a host of genuine novelties are already en route for the 
new spectacle. 

Large houses have been the rule at the Bush during the 
entire holiday season, and that Napoleon of managers, Mr. 
M. B. Leavitt, has been amply rewarded for presenting to 
our public by all odds the best variety troupe we have yet 
seen here. The bill for this week has been replete with 
novelties. The startlingly clever performance of Till's 
Marionettes, and the astonishing mid-air evolutions of 
Kennette, the Man Fly, being alone worth the admission 
charged. Another popular matinee will be given to-day, 
while for next week, beginning Monday, January 4, 
Charles L. Davis' Alvin Joslin Comedy Company will 
appear. Davis' ten-thousand-dollar- challenge brass band, 
which appears nightly with this combination, is a novel 
and taking feature. Our readers have already had a taste 
of Mr. Joslin's merit as an eccentric comedian, and lie will 
doubtless have no trouble in repeating his former excep- 
tional success. 

The artistic and financial success made by Miss Grace 
Hawthorne during her present holiday engagement at the 
Alcazar is equally creditable to her own talent and the en- 
terprise of her indefatigable manager, W. W. Kelly. The 
enthusiastic audiences that witnessed her performance of 
Queena during the first week of her engagement have 
steaddy increased in numbers during the representations 
of The New East Lynne, and were delighted at the new 
and powerful rendering of that always acceptable and in- 
teresting play. Both Frou-Frou and Fanchon the Cricket 
gave evidence of the rising young actress' versatility, and 
the latter rdle especially is conceded to suit her particular 
capabilities to a greater extent than anything done by her 
so far. It should become a permanent addition to her 
repertoire. On Saturday evening Miss Hawthorne will be 
the recipient of a complimentary benefit, the bill for which 
has not yet been fully announced, except that the benefi- 
ciary will appear in three widely different characterizations 
in the same evening, viz.: Galatea, Adrienne Lecouvreur 
and Nancy Sykes. A large house is already assured. 



THE WHITE SEWING MACHINE CO. 
This large Sewing Machine Company of Cleveland, 0., 
has opened a fine show-room at 108 and 110 Post street. 
Its manufactory is the largest in the world, with a capital 
(paid-up) of one million two hundred thousand dollars. The 
"White " is one of the best sewing machines made. 



THE "CUMBACHER." 
Our esteemed friend, Otto Normann, who is the sole 
agent on the Pacific Coast for Wm. J. Lemp's Western 
B°rewery of St. Louis, has had the celebrated ' 'Cumbacher" 
at his popular saloon, 411 Bush street. His sales of the 
" Lemp's " still continues as large as ever. 

MTJLLER THE OPTICIAN. 
Muller the Optician, at 135 Montgomery street, takes 
the lead in the line on the Pacific Coast. Muller keeps the 
best glasses of every form on hand, and will make an ex- 
amination, free, of defective vision, and advise proper 
methods for its correction. 

HEALD'S BUSINESS COLLEGE. 
As the New Year ia at hand families and guardians 
should look to the best college for their children. E. P. 
Heald & Co., 24 Post street, have been established 20 
years and give thorough satisfaction. 

AN OLD ESTABLISHED JEWELRY 

MANUFACTORY. 

D W Laird has manufactured jewelry, society emblems, 

badges, etc. since 1863 in this city. Our readers should 

not forget his stor«, 27 Post street. 



NATURAL MINERAL WATER. 
The Tolenas Spring Soda, natural mineral water lately 
introduced here, is refreshing, agreeable and effervescent, 
cures indigestion, acidity of the stomach, etc. J. C. 
Remington, 217 Commercial street, General Agent for the 
Pacific Coast. 

THE STAR COAL. 
Those who have used this anti-smoke and soot coal will 
have no other. It is the favorite of the kitchen and parlor 
and the cheapest in the market. Give yourorders to your 
dealer, or send direct to the main office, 100 to 112 Mission 
street. 



"THE DOMESTIC." 
J. W. Evans, 29 Post street, is the sole agent for the 
light running Domestic Sewing Machine. (See their big 
advertisement on cover of the Wasp. ) 

BED-ROOM SUITES. 
All the latest designs in different woods constantly ar- 
riving. Prices ■very low at the California Furniture Com- 
pany, 220 to 226 Bush street. 

LEMF'S ST. LOUIS BEER. 
Mr. Otto Normann, 411 Bush street, is the sole agent for 
this celebrated beer for the Pacific Coast. 



If you are sick, have weak lungs or symptoms of con- 
sumption, go to the Putnam House, Auburn. (See adv. 
on cover. ) 

For Oysters, wholesale and ret#, go to Moraghan's, 
California Market. 



C. O. Dean, D.D.S., 126 Kearny street (Thurlow block), 
superior dentistry. 



12 



THE WASP. 



SOUTHERK PACIFIC COMPANY. 

Trains leave* and arc dnc to arrive at 

Oakland Ferry, r«ot of Market >t , 

SAN FitAsrcisco. 



LEaVK 

(ton 



♦8.00 A. 

S.00 A. 
-4.00 p. 

7.30 A. 

7.30 A. 
"3.30 P. 

8.00 a. 

4.00 p. 
•6.00 p. 

8.00 A. 
*8.00 A. 

3.30 p. 

3.30 p. 
10.00 a. 

3.00 p. 

3.00 p. 

7.30 a. 

8.00 A. 

7.30 a. 

3 OOP 

4.00 p. 
•4.00 P. 

8.00 A. 
110.00 A. 

3.00 p. 

8.00 a 
"9 30 A. 
*3.30 P. 



Front Oct. 13, 1885 

. .Byron 

. .Calistoga and Napa 

..Colfax 

. .Delta, Reddin r and Portand 

. .Gale, via Martinez 

. .lone, via Livermore 

..Knight's Landing 

..Livermore and Pleasanton. 

..Martinez 

..Milton 

1 Mnjave, Deming J Express 
j~Ell'asoand r.,ast{ Emigrant 
..Niles and Hayward's. 
) Ogden and £,ast ( Express 
J " " " \ t/migraiit 
..Red Bluff, via Marysville. 
..Sacramento, via Livermo. 

" via Benicia. 

" via ^ enicia. 

" via Benicia. 
. .Sacramento River steam ere 
. .San Jose 



AaKiVB 

(from) 



.Stockton, via L : vermore. . 

" vi t M irtiuez . . . 

" via Martinez. . . 
.Tulare and Fresno 



J6.10 p. 
•10.10 a. 

6.10 p. 

6.40 P. 

6.40 P. 
*10.40 A. 

5.40 P. 
10.10 a. 
•8.40 a. 

6.10 P. 
•7.10 P. 
10.40 A. 
10.10 a. 

3.40 P. 
Il.lOA. 
U.10A. 

5.40 p. 

5.40 p. 

6.40 p. 
11.10 a. 
10.10 A. 
•6.00 A. 
•3.40 P. 
{3.40 P. 

9.40 a. 

5.40 P. 
'7.10 P. 
"10.40A. 
•7.10 P. 



A for morning. 



p for atternoon. 



From wan Francisco, daily. 

To EAST OAKLAND— -6.00, •e.SO, 7.01, 7.30, 
8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30. 11.00, 11.30, 
12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 6.00 5.30,6.00, 6.30,7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 
10.00, 11.00, "12.00. 

To FRUIT VALE- -6.00, *6.30, *7.00, '7.30, *8.00, 
"8.30, -3.30, »4.0J, "4.30, *5.00, "5.30, "6.00, 
•6.30, 9.00. 

To FRUIT VALE (via Alameda)— '9.30, 6.30, 
tll.OO, *12.00 

To ALAMEDA -*6.00 '6.30, 7.00 *7.30, 8.00, 
•8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 110-30, 11.00, {11.80, 
12.00, (12.30, 1.00, (1.30 2.00, 8.0.1, 3.30, 4.00, 
4.30, 5,00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 1.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 
11.00, "12.0J. 

ToBUKKELtY-'e.OO, *6.30, 7.00, "7.30, S.00, 
•8.30, 9.00, {9.30, 10.00, {10.30, 11.00, {11.30, 
12.00 l.Ou, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 4.30 5.00,5.30,6.00, 
6.30, 7.00, 8.00 y.O I, 10.00, 11.00 "12.00. 

To WfcST BEkK - LE v — *6.00. '6.30, 7.00, *7.30, 
(S.00, -8.30, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00, {1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 
4.00, •4.31, 6.00, *5.30, 6.0.P, *6.,0, 7.00. 
To San Francisco, daily. 

From FRUIT VALE - "6.23, *6.f3, «7.23, "7.53, 
•8.23, *S.i3, "9.23, "10.21, "4.23, "4.53, "5.23, 
•5.53, »6.28, "6.53, 7.25, 9.: 0. 

From FRUIT VALE (via Alameda) -"5.15, "5.4% 
(6.45, (9.15, *3.15. 

From E OT O \KLAND->5.30, *6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 
7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 
11.30, 12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 
3.30, 4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.57, 
8.57, 9.57, 10.57. 

From BROADWAY, Oakland— 7 minutes later 
than from East Oakland. 

From ALAMEDA -*5.22, '5.52, *6.22, 6.52, *7.22, 
7.52, *8.22. 8.52, 9.22, 9.5 i, (10. z2, 10.52, {11.22, 
11.52, (12.22, 12.o2 (1. -2, 1.52, 2.52, 3.22, 3.52, 
4.22, 4.52, 5,22 5.52, 6.22, 6.5:!, 7.52, 8.52, 9.52, 
10.52. 

From BERKELEY -»5. 15, *5.45, *6.15, 6.4'., 
*7.15, 7.4), *8,15, 8.45, {9.15,9.45. {10.15, 10.45, 
{11.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.45, 2.45, 3.45, 4.15, 4.45, 
5.15, 5.45, 6.15, 6.45, 7.45, 8.45, 9.45, 10.45. 

From WbSC B<.KKEuEY *.,.45, *6.15, 6.45, 
*7.15, 7.45, 8.46, {9.15, 9.45, 10.45, {12.45, 1.45, 
2.45, 3.45, 4.45, *5.15, 6.45, *6.15, 6.45, *7.15. 

creek K»ute. 

From S AN FRANCISCO— *7.15, 9.15, 11.15, 1.15, 

3.15, 5.15. 
From O.lKLAND- 

4.15. 



3.15, 8.15, 10.15, 12.15, 2.15, 



• Sundays excepted ( Sundays only. 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co., S.F. 



A. N. ToWaE, T. H. GOODMAN, 

Gen. Manairer. Gen. Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



J±. HIRSCH, 



OPTICIAN 



OPTICIAN 



820 KEARNY street, s. f. 

Spectacles and Eye-Glasses niy 
Specialty. 



AGENTS WANTED. 

J-fcjv Patent Amateur Vise. The 

[OJpS , j- neatest and handiest little tool 
' 1 out. Needed by everyone. No 
talking is necessary. The Vise 
sells itself, and they go like 
"hot cakes." Sample and Agents' Prices post- 
paid on receipt of SOv. L. H. MOISE, Sole 
Agent, 320 Sansome street, room 35, S. F. 



DIP HCrCD ^ ^° mtr °dLi^e them, 



ADIU Urrttt. will giveaway iooo 
Self -Operating Washing .-iad-iines. If you want 
one send us your name, P. O. and express office 
at once. The National Co., 33 I>ey St. 
Wew York,, 



Northfrn Division 

SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

TIME SCHEDULE. 

Passenger Trains leave an Arrive 

Passenger Depot Townsend street, bet. Third 
and Fourth streets, San Francisco. 



Commencing Oct. IS, 

1SS5. 



t 6.40 a. 
S.30 A. 
10.40 A. 

* 3.30 P. 
4.30 p. 

* 6.15 p. 
6.30 p. 



.San Mateo, Redwood and. * 1n " no ,' 
..Menlo Park... ";<ȣ 

+ 5.02 P. 



8.30 a. 

10.40 a. 

* 3.30 p 

4.30 p. 



10.40 a. 
* 3.30 P. 



10.40 a. 
■ 3.30 P. 



10.40 a. 
* 3.30 P. 



.Santa Clara San Jose and. 
..Principal Way {stations.. 



. Qilroy,Pajaro, astroville . 
. ..Salinas and Monterey. . . 



.Hotlister and Tres Pinos. 



9.03 A. 

*10.02 A. 

3.36 P. 

(5.0S P. 



"10.02 A. 
6.08 p. 



... VVatsonville, Aptos, 

. soquel ( amp Capitola) , . 
and Santa Cruz 



.Soledad andWavStations. 



a. — Morn ng. p.— Afternc 

* Sundays exce^tei 
t Sundays ouly {iportemen's train). 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph &Co., S. p. 



STAGE C »NNECTIONS are made with the 
10.40 a. M. train, except Pescadrro stages via 
San Mateo and Redwo d, which connect with 
8.30 a. », train. 



KXIIltSION ll4Ktl>. 

For Sundays oni-y— Sold Sunday Morning and 
for 1 30 p. M. train ; good for return i-ame 
day. 

For Saturday, Sunday and Mi nday - Soli Sat- 
urday an* Sunday omy; gond for return 
until following Monday , inclusive. 



Tickbt 0> kicks — Pa-ssen^cr Depot, Townsend 
streeb, Va'encia-street Station, and No. 673 
Market street, Grand Hotel. 
A. C. BASSET?, H R. JUDAH, 

Superintendent. Asst. Pass. & Tkt. Agt 



SOUTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



Passenger Trains leave Station, foot of Market 
street, South Side at 

8 Aft A. M., daily, for Alvarado, Newark, 
■ OU Centerville, Alvieo, Santa Clara, SAN 
JOSE, Los Gatos, Wrights, Glen wood, Felton, 
Bie- Tree?, Boulder Creek, SANTA CRUZ and 
all Way Stations'. 

2ftft P. M. (except Sunday), Express: Mt. 
• OU Eden, Alvarado, Newark, Centerville, 
Alviso, \srnews, Santa Clara, SAN JOSE, Los 
Gatop, Boulder Creek and all stations to SANTA 
CRUZ. 

4ft A P. M., daily, for SAN JOSE, Los Gatos 
■ OU and intermediate points. 

4 Aft A. M , every Sunday, Hunters' Train 
<UU to San Jose, stopping at all Way- 
Station «>. 

tfjr EXCURSIONS TO SANTA CRUZ and 
$U BOULDER CREEK, and $2.50 to SAN 

JOSE, on Saturdays and Sundays, to return on 
Monday, inclusive. 

$1.75 to SANTA CLARA and SAN JOSE 
and return. Sundays only. 

All through trains connect at Felton for Boul- 
der Creek and points on Felton and Pescadero 

Railroad. 



TO OAJiLAiVD \M» AM_MF«A. 

§6.00, §6.30, §7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 
10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30 A. M. 1112.00, 12.30, 
1|1 00, 1.30, 1T2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 4 00, 4.30, 6.00 
6.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30, 10.45, 11.45 
P.M. 

From Fourteenth and Webster streets, 
OaIiJaiul-§5.30, §6.00, §6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 
8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 1[11.00, 11,30 A. M. 
Hl-2.00, 12.30,1[1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00,3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 
9.30, 10.45, 11.45 P. M. 

From High street, Alameda— §5.16, §5.46, 
§6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 7.46, 8.16, 8.46. 9.16. 9.46, 
10.16, 1T10.46, 11.16, 111.46 A. M. 12.16, 1J12.46, 
1.16, 1.46, 2.16, 2.46, 3.16, 3.46, 4.16, 4.46, 5.16, 
5.46, 6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 9.16, 10.31, 11.31 P M. 

§ Sundays excepted. 
U Sundays only. 

TICKET, Telegraph and Transfer offices 823 
Montgomery street, S. F. 

L. FILLMORE, W. T. FITZGERALD, 

Superintendent. G. F. & P. Act 



S. F. & NORTH PACIFIC R. R. 

(Broad Gauge.) 

Commencing Sunday, April 5, 1SS5, 
and until further notice, boats and trains will 
leave from and arrive at San Francisco Passen- 
ger Depot, Market street wharf, as follows : 



Leave 
San Francisco. 



Destina- 
tion. 



Arrive in 
San Francisco. 



Wkbk I Sun- 
Days. I DAYS. 



7.45 am | 



I Petaluma, I - SuN " I Wl4EK 
I Santa Rosa, I 1'Ayh. | Days. 
I Fulton, I \ 8.50 am 

Windsor, I 
1 Btaldsburg '.6 10 PM 
j Clovtrdale, | 
& way stns. 



7.45 am S.00 am I Gu^rneville 6 10 pm | 6.05 pm 



Stages connect at Santa Ropafor Sebastopol 
and ijark West Springs; atCtairville for Snaggs' 
Springs, and at Cloverdale for Highland Springs, 
Kelawyville, Soda Bay, Lakeport, Saratoga 
Springs, Blue Laken, Bartlett Springs, Ukiah, 
Eureka. Navarro Ridge, Mendocino city a d the 
Geysers. 

EXCURSION TICKETS from Saturdays to 
Mondiva— To Petamina, §1.75; to Santa Rosa, 
S3; do Healdsburg, S4; to Cloverdile, S5. 

EXCURSION i'iCKETS, good for Sundays 
only— To Petaluma, §1.50; to Santa Host, S2; 
to Healdsburg, S3; cu Cloveraale, $4.50 ; to 
Guernevi.le, S3. 

From Sau Franci.-co for Point Tiburon and 
San Rafael— Week days; 7.45 A. m., 9.16 A. m., 
3.30 p. M., 5 P M., 6.10 P. M. Sunuays: 8 
a. M , 9 30 A. M. , 11 a. M. , 1.30 p. M. , 5 p. M. 

To S.in Franc.sco from San Rafael — Week 
dajs: 6.30 a. m., 8 a. m., 10.30 a. m., 3.40 p. «., 
5.05 P. M. Sundays: 8.10 a. m, 9 40 a M., 
12 15 P. M., 3.30 P. M , 5 P. ii. 

To San Fiancioco from Point Tiburon — Week 
days: 7 a.m., 8.20 a.m., 10.55 a.m., 4.05p.m., 
5.30 p. M. Sunda)s: 8.35 a. m., 10 05 A. M., 
12.40 P. M., 3.65 P. M,, 5.30 P. M. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McuLYiNN.Gen. Pass, and ikt. Agt. 

Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Muiit- 
gomery street. 



SONOMA VALLEY RAILROAD 

Steamer Jimes «i. Donahue leaves Sfin Fran- 
ceco and eonneuts with trains at Soncma Land 
ing as follows : 

4 A. ft. P. M.j daily (Sundays excepted), from 
■ UU Wash ing tun-ctrett wharf, fur thj t j\vn 
of Sonoma, Glen Ellen and way points. 
SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8rtA A. M. (Sundays tnlj), irom Washing 
■ ZU > n-.-treet wharf for the t wn oi So- 
noma, G.en Elltn and way points. Round-trip 
tiuki.ts to sonoma, SI ; Gl*n Ellen, S1.50. 

H, C. WHITiNG, Su^erintri.dent. 
PETEtt J. McGLVJSN, Uen. Pass. ano. Tkt. Agt. 
Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SAUCELITO, SAN RAFAEL. SAN QUE&TIN, 
via 

NORTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



TIME TABLED 

Commencing Miuday. Not. S I 85, 

a i hi until fur her iidice, Boats and Trains 
will runs as follows : 

For SAN R4FAEL and SAUCELITO (week 
days) -9.20, 11.20 a. m., 3.35, 5.05 p. m. 

(Sundaya)— 8.00, 10.00, 11.30 a.m., 1.30, 3.15, 
5.15 p. M. 

Extra trip on Saturday at 1.30 P. M. 



From SAN RAFAEL (week dajs)— 7.45, 9.2 
11.35 A. M., 3.30 p. M. 

(Sund-ivs)— 8.05, 10.10 A. M., 12.00 M., 1.3 
3.20, 5.15 P. M. 



From SAUCBLIIO (week days)— 8.15, 9.55 
a. M , 12.20, 4.05 p. M. 

(SundaYd)— 8.40, 10.45 a. M., 12.35, 2.15, 4.00 
6.00 P. M. 

Extra trips— From Saucelito on Saturday at 
2.30, 6.00 p. M. 

11.20 A. Al., Daily, Sundays excepttd, 
THR ,UGH TRAINS for Duncan Mills and way 
stations. (Through train from Dun.an Mihs 
arrive in San Francifco at 12.50 p. M.) 

STA^E CONNECTIONS. 
Stages leave Duncan Mills every morning, ex- 
cept Mondays, for Stewarts Point, Gualala, Point 
Arena, Ouffey's Cove, Navarro, Mtndocino, and 
all points on the North Coast. 

THIRTY-DAY EXCURSIONS 

Round-trip Ticki ts, good for thirty diys to 

and irom all points north of San Anstlmo, at 

twenty-five p t r cent, reduction from single 

tariff rate. 

SATURDAY TO MONDAY EXCURSIONS. 

Excursion tickets s ild on Saturday, good to 
return following Monday : Fairfax, SI. 00 ; Camp 
Taylor, SI. 75 ; Point Reyes, $2.00 ; Totnale^, 
g3.*0Q ; Duncan Mills, $4. 

SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8,00 A. M, (Sundays only) Kxcursion Train 
for Camp Taylor, Tomales and way stations. 
Returning, arrive in San Francisco at 6.30 p. m. 

Fares for round trip— Camp Taylor, SI. 50; 
Point Reyes, §1.75 ; Tomales, §2.50. 



J. W. COLEMAN, 
General Manager. 



F. B. LATHAM, 
Gen'l Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP 

COMPANY. 



GENERAL OFFICES, 327 PINE STREET. 



Steamers of this Company wil 

'Vr^sail from Broadway Wharf, San 

Francisco, for ports in California, 

Oregon, Washington and Idaho 

Temioiies, mitish Columbia and Alaska, as fol- 
lows ; 

-xitfornla Southern Coast Boute.- 

Steamers will Bail about every second day a. m. 
lor one following ports (excepting San Diego, 
every fifth day), viz: Santa Cruz, Monterey, 
San Simeon, CayucoB, Port Harford, San Luis 
Obispo. Gaviota, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Hue 
neme, Snn Pedro, Lob Angeles and San Diego. 

British Columbia and Alaska Route* 

Steamship IDAHO, carrying U. S. Mails, sails 
from Portland, Oregon, on or about the 1st o* 
each month, for Port Townsend,. W. T., Victoria, 
and Nanaimo, B. C, Fort Wrangel, Sitka and 
Harrhburg, Alaska, connecting at Port Town 
send with Victoria and Pnget Sound. Steamer 
leaving San Francisco on or about the first 
the same month. 

victoria and Puget m>ihhI EEmi<«>.- 
The SToamers GEO. W. ELDER and QUEEN OF 
THE PACTFJC carrying Her Britamc Majestj 's 
and uited Slates mails, sail from Broadway 
Wharf, san Francisco, at 10 a. m., od November 
2d, 10th, ISth, 26th, Dee. 4th, 12th, 20tn, 28th 
Jan. 5th, and every eighth day thereafter (or 
Victoria, B.C., Port TownBend, ->eattle, Tacoma, 
Steilacoom and Olympia, makiig close connec- 
tion with steamboats, etc., for Skagit River and 
Cassiar MineB, Nanaimo, New '■vestminstcr.Yale, 
Sitka and all other impor ant points. Return- 
ing, leave Seattle and Port fownsend on Nov. 
2d 10th, 18th, 26th, Dec 4th, 13th, 20th, 28th, 
and ivery eighth dav thereafter, and Victoria (> n 
Nov. 3d, ll u h, 19th, 27th, Dec. 5th, 14th, 21st, 
29th, and every eighth day thereafter. 

Portland, Oregon, Koute.— The Oregon 
Railway and Navigation Company and the Pa- 
cific Coast Steamship Company diBpatch from 
Spear Street Wharf one of the steamships 
OREGON, COLUMBIA, STATE OF CALI- 
FORNIA and GEO. W. ELDER, carrving the 
United States Mail. Mil ling days— No v. 4th, 
9th, 14th, 19ih, 24th 29th, and every following 
tlftn lay for Portland .no Aetoria, Oregon. 

Kureka and Humboldt Bay Boute.— 

Ste iiner ANCON sails from 3*n tancisco for 
d-ureka, Areata, Hookton (Hum nit Bay) every 
Wednesday at 9 A. U. 

Point Arena and Mendocino Boute.— 

Steamer YAQUINA sail* from Broadway 
vVharf, Sao Francisco, at 3 p. m. every Monday 
for foint Arenas, Cuffey's Cove, Little River 
and Mendocino. 

TICKET OFFICE, 314 Montgomery St. 

(Opposite the Ruse House) 

G000ALL, PERKINS & CO., General Agents 
No. 10 market St. San Francisco. 



The Best Newspaper in America, 
and by far the Most Readable. 

Agents wanted everywhere to earn 
money in distributing the Sun's Pre- 
miums. 

The most interesting and advanta- 
geous offers ever made by any News- 
paper. 

No Subscriber ignored or neglected. 
Something for all. 

Beautiful and Substantial Premiums in 
Standard Gold and other WatcheSjValuable 
Books, the Best Family Sewing Machine 
known to the trade, and anunequaled list 
of objects of real utility and instruction. 

Rates, by Mail, Postpaid: 
DAILY, per Year (without Sunday) $6 00 
DAILY,per Month (withoutsundayi 50 
SUNDAY, per Year ... I 00 
FOR EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR 7 00 
WEEKLY, per Year ... I 00 
Address, THE SEX, New lork < it). 




S3 I 9 F ^5 Instant relief. Final cure in 
r i InSu^S. 10 days, and never returns. 
No purge, no salve, no suppository. Sufferers 
will learn of a simple remedy. Free, by address- 
ing C. J. MASON, 78 Nassau St., N. Y. 



THE WASP. 



13 



THE CHRONIC GROWLER. 

He growlfl about hie boarding place, 

Hi.- Lfruwls ul k nit hi* bed ; 

He growlfl about "roost everything — 
Wanta something else instead. 

He growls about his taundryman, 

He growls jilumt his tailor ; 
He growlfl about the fit of things 
Like .Tack Tar 'board a whaler. 

He growls about the daily news. 

He irrowls lieeanse it's now ; 

He growls about an article 
That doesn't auit his view. 

He growls about his daily work. 

He growls lieeanse it's labor; 
He growls because he'a not born rich - 

As was his next door neighbor. 

He growls because he has no wife, 

He growls about the ladies ; 
He growls about the styles they wear — 

Consigns them all to Hades. 

He growls when he to theater goes, 

He growls about the seats ; 
He growls about the play again 

To every one he meets. 

He growls about a legacy. 
He growls because 'tis small ; 

He growls as if it was his right 
That he should get it all. 

He growls about the Holy Writ, 
He growls because he can ; 

He growls because he's bound to growl- 
He's such a cranky man, 

— The Kaleidoscope. 



AMISKJIEXTS 



California Theater, 

Rankin & Co.. Proprietors 

B. (>. Prics ... Manager 

Evury Evening at S, including Sunday. 

Matinee Saturday. 



KIRALFY BROS.' 

Brilliant Spectacle, 

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS. 

Now Playing to the Largest Houses ever 
Been in Son Francisco. 



,r SKiVltE Mil i; si: VTS VXD AVOID 
THE HUSH. 



TO THE UNFORTUNATE! 

Dr. GIBBOFS DISPENSARY 



A man in New York lives without 
any lungs, and the doctors are very 
much puzzled. — Ex. Pshaw! having 
no lungs lie can't draw his last breath, 
and until a man breathes his last 
breath he is bound to live. Give us a 
hard one. 



JESSE MOORE & CO'S 

Kentucky Whiskies. 




404 FRONT STREET, SAN FRANCISCO. 



C. UEWEESE, Jr., San Francisco. 

€i. H. MOOItE. of Jesse Moore & 
Co., Louisville, Ky. 

11 . IS. HCSfk', San Francisco. 



DIVIDEND NOTICE. 

The German Savings and Loan 

SOC'ETY. 

For the half year ending Dee. 31, 18S5, the 
Board of Directors of THE GERMAN SAVINGS 
AND LOAN SOCIETY has declared a dividend 
at the rate of four and one-half (4 l ) per cent, 
per annum on term deposits, and three and 
three-fourths (3|) per cent, per annum on ordi- 
nary deposits, and payable on and alter the 2d 
day of January, 1836. By order. 

GEO. LETTE, Secretary. 



A PRIZE 



Send six cents for post- 
aye, and receive free, a 
costly box of goods which 
' \vilIheIpall,oi eithersex, 
to more money right away than anything else in 
this world. Fortunes await the workers abso- 
lutely sure. Terms mailed free, TRUE & CO., 
Augusta, Maine. 




Ititsli-sti-cct Theater. 

M. B. Leavitt Lessee and Proprietor 

Cuas. P. Hall Manager 

FAMILY MATINEE TO-DAY. 

Anotiikr Great Holiday Entertainment. 

Positively the Last Week of 

BC H. LEAVITT8 

EUROPEAN SPECIALTY COMPANY. 

Entire Change of Bill from First to Last. 

A Royal Show by Masters. 

The Great KENNETTE. The Wonderful TILLS. 

POPULAR PRICES. 

Monday, Jan. 4, 1888— CHARLES L. DAVIS 
and his ALVIN JOSLIN COMEDY COMPANY. 



Alcazar Theater. 

O'Farrell street near Stockton 

Reserved Seats 50 cents 

TWO PERFORMANCES TO-DAY. 

Matinee at 2 ; Evening at S. 

GRACE HAWTHORNE 

FANCHON. 

Sunday Night, 

Farewell Testimonial Tendered 
ft RACE HAWTHORNE 

By prominent citizens. 
a great bill on this occasion. 
Popular Prices— 50c., 75c. and %1. Matinee 
Prices -z5e. aim 50c. 
Seats secured at Alcazar Theater Box Office. 



PANORAMA. 

THE 

BATTLE OF WATERLOO. 

Cor- Eddy aud Mason Sts. 

Open daily from 9 A. M. to 11 p. M. 




I>r. !Liebig's 
WOXDERFUt 
■ -J GERMAN 
INVIGORATOK, 

The Greatest Remedy 
for the cure of Nervous 
and Physical Debility, 
Vital Exhaustion, 
Weakness, Loss of Vi- 
tality, and all the results of indiscretions.etc. The 
German Treatment prevents permanently all un- 
natural losses from the system. 

The Doctor, a regular college physician from 
Europe, will agree to forfeit -sl.OOO for a case un- 
dertaken not cured. The reason thousands can- 
not get cured of Weakness, Lost Vitality, and 
the above diseases, is owing to a complication 
called PROSTATORRHEA, with Hyperesthesia, 
which requires special treatment. 

DR. LIEBIG'S INVIGORATOR No. 2 is the 
only POSITIVE CURE for PROSTATORRHEA. 
Price of either Invigorator, §2; case of six bot- 
tles, S10. 

DR. LIEBIG & CO., for the past seventeen 
years have made an exclusive specialty of Dis- 
eases of Men. Disease, however induced, speed- 
ily, thoroughly and permanently cured ; recent 
cases in a few days; inveterate cases skillfully 
treated, charges moderate. 

If pimples appear on the face, if you become 
listless and despondent, look out for the compli- 
cations with Vital Weakness and Loss of Vitality 
known as Prostatorrhea. Hundreds of lives 
have been lost for the want of proper treatment 
for this complication, and thousands have lost 
all their property and pleasure in life from its 
effects. A perfect and permanent cure will be 
guaranteed in any case undertaken, under our 
special advice and treatment. 

Call or address I>r. Ijiebig & Co.. 400 
Geary street. San Francisco. Private en- 
trance, 405 ilason street, four blocks up 
Geary street from Kearny. 

Most Powerful Electric Belts free to patients. 

AST To prove the wonderful power of the IN- 
VIGORATORS, a S2 bottle given free. 

Consultation, advice and examination free and 
private, 



Sun Francisco - Ea 
tablished in 1854 foi 
the treatment and 
cure of Special Dis- 
eases, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases wearing on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, per- 
manently cured : the 
sick and afflicted 
should not fail to call 
upon him. The Doc- 
tor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doctor cures when others fail. Try him. DP. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cure. Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HOME. All communications strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J. F. GIBBON, Box l!)f.7, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 



B^a ii DR. MCNULTY. 



"NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL." 

TARRANT'S EXTRACT 



GUBEBS AND COPAIBA 

Is an old, tried remedy 
for gonorrhoea, gleet, 
and all diseases of the 
urinary organs. Its 
neat, portable form, 
freedom from taste and 
speedy action (it fre- 
quently cures in three 
or four days and always 
in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make " Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the most desira- 
ble remedy ever manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud see 
that each package has a red strip across the face 
of label, with the signature of TARRANT & CO., 
N. Y., upon it. 

PRICE SI. 
Sold by all Druggists. 




LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- 
voring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, 8,000,000 jars. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feel grateful." — See "Medical 
Press," "Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fac-simile of Baron 
Liebig's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title "Baron Liebig" and pho- 
tograph having been largely used by deal- 
ers with no connection with Baron Liebig, 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. To be had of all Storekeepers, 

Grocers and Chemists. Sole agents for the 

United States (wholesale only) C. David & 

Co., 9 Fenchurch Avenue, London, Eng. 

Sold Wholesale by RICHARDS & 

HAttRIKOW and LAXfeiLEY A 

MICHAELS. 



JJ3TCURE8 with 
unfailing cer- 
tainty Nervous 
and Physical De- 
bility, Vital Ex- 
haustion, Weak- 
ness, Loss of Vi- 
tality, and all the 
terrible results of 
excesses and indis- 
cretions. It pre- 
vents permanently 
all weakening 
drains upon the 
system. Permanent Cukes Guaranteed. 

Price, *2.50 per bottle, or five bottles S10.00. 
To be had only of DR. C. D. SALFIELD, 210 
Kearny Street, San Francisco. 

TRIAJL BOTTLE FREE, 
Sufficient to show its merit, will be sent to any 
one applying by letter, stating Ins symptoms and 
age. Communications strictly confidential. 




PENNYROYAL PILLS. 

"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations. Indispensible to Ladies. Ask 
yourI>ruggist for "Chichester's Eng- 
lish " and take no other, or inclose 4 cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars in letter bv return 
mail. XA1IE PAPER. Chichester 
Chemical Co., 2313 Madison Sq're, 
Philadelphia, Pa. 

TRADE supplied by GEO. C. GOODWIN 
& CO., Wholesale Agents, Boston, Mass. 



Call < 



. . McNultv U a pmulab *kd woia» qualified 
Plljrslclu and hurgcoo, educated la botu rcIiooIh of 
niu'licluu lu Pirn.*' et-i-uu. He him devuted allfe "lino 
to the Ireuliueul or Special. Chronic and Nervous 
dl-wases of b th bckcb. All wlio place themselves 
under lilBCunrgi; will receive careful. Bound and n«Tu 
advice. th« re-sL It oTgreM itmdv, deep research and a 
long ollatosl experience, whlehhuvcniude hinmuiater 
uf these diseases. 

THOSE who uxo bo unfortunate an to suitor from 
I ho In UtcrotlnnH of youth, or the excesses and RtlllCI 
"[niiuurer years, contracted local dlocases, etc., should 
nut fit 11 10 consult him, 

I^VDIKy Buffering [mm the many ailments and com- 
plicated diseases incident to your sex, remembar ihnt 
lin.McNui.TY is nblclnusslBLyou. Ha Uahvuys will- 
ing to consult wlih jou connniiNTi»M.v and can 
certainly relievo you. There i* no dtteateperttining 
to your delicate njetem but which ha can tre-t with the 
Buret;/ of success. His mcihods of treatment can 
uhvare bo relied on aa the vc y beat tlif modern 
medical science awl e>perictjcc afford, None Bhr-iij 
full to proQl by ills valuable advloe aud <tkill. Pernio ■ 
who de..,lro to be cured nt borne, can, if the;" wve 
consult I 1m by Idler, giving an accu nto d encrV.lon 
of tho trouble or disease, and receive, treatment by 
mail "r express. 

If to Diplomas Hanq in Hih Officii. Consult. tion 
In person or by letter. Fun.*. Charges reasonable 
Ookkultatio* Paeloii* Pbivatkly abbangkd. Office 
Hours 10io 3 Daily (It) 8 Evswi«aii,Sr/rii>*ys. 10 re 
llo^LV. .Vei'^a [/''-' di'Urerrd at the t~ 
prompt attention at all hours, night a 
uddreiB 

P. Roscoe McNulty, M D., 

101 DupontSt.(cor. of Geary). 

San Francisco, Cal. 



Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEABNT STREET. 

Still treats, with the same WONDERFUL success as of 

old, allCHRONIC, PRIVATE, NERVuUS, and WASTING 

diseases, such as nervous DEBILITY, loss OF vital- 
ity. PROSTATITIS, KIDNEY. ULADDHR anil LIVER 
DISEASES, UNNATURAL DRAINS, either day or night, 
IMPAIRED VITALITY, etc 

DR. MlNTIEisa REGULAR PHYSICIAN GRADUATE 
OF THEOLDEST COLLEGE IN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known, over the entire Pacific 
coast from his long- and successful career in the practice 
of lib specialty in this city, making cures in many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a term of years 

HOUSE PHYSICIAN, 
Or Resident Surgeon, in the Orthopedic Hospital at 
Philadelphia, and he would say to Yoi/NG MEN who arc 
suffering- from the effects of YOUTHFUL follies and 

MIDDLE-AGED MEN who are PREMATURELY OLD con- 
sult one who has made your disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Doctor will agree to forfeit §1,000 for a case of this 
kind he takes and fails to cure. 

DR. MlNTIE is sole proprietor ol the now famous 
English remedy, the SIR ASTLEY COPER VITAL RES- 
TORATIVE, which he fumisb.CS free to patients. 

Consultamon free. Thorough examination, and 
advice inclu-.ing chemical analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest opinion given in 
every case. 

Office Houre — 9 to 3 daily; evenings, 6 to 8; Sunday 
11 to 1 only. Call or address, 

A. E. MUSTTTB, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 

Sail Francisco, Cal. 



USEFUL PRESENTS 



MULLER'S 

Optical D<=>pot, 

135 MONTGOMERY ST. 



BOTANY MICROSCOPES, 
For Royg and Clrls, froiii SOc. to $5. 

MICROSCOPES, 

suitable for < [M-nii-ls, lloctor*. 

»tutlcm», elc- 

POCKET BAROMETERS, 
For Alining Fnglncerg. 

ORNAMENTAL BAROMETERS, ' 

For UallH, CliurrltrH. OmIcck, <lub 

Uoolus. etc. 

OPERA, FIELD AND MARINE 
GLASSES. 

GOLD PEBBLE SPECTACLES 
AND EYE-GLASSES. 



Suitable t'lirlKtniax PreBcnta. 

Novel ies are Cor.stantly Ar- 
riving at 

MULLER'S OPTICAL DEPOT 

135 MI>!»T«OMFKY SIKEET 

(Near Busb.) 



THE WASP. 



The principal reason, my son, why those wafers 
you got at a church supper are called oyster fritters 
is because you fritter away so much time looking for 
the oyster.— Hartford Simdwy Journal. 

That was a cautious old tramp who, upon being 
asked whether he would have a drink of whisky as 
he was beginning a job of sawing wood, or wo'uld 
have it when he had finished it, answered: "Well, 
mum, I think I'll take it now. There has been a 
pile of sudden deaths lately. " — Fall River Advance. 

Man's career is a skip, hop and jump. Naked he 
skips into the world; handicapped with cares he 
hops through it, and bald-headed he jumps head 
first into eternity. — White Sail Times. 



The MURPHY BUILDING 



Cor. Market and Jones streets. 



WONDERFULLY CHEAP LINES 

OFFERED BY 

J. J. O'BRIEN & CO 



We respectfully invite the attention of our patrons and the 
public to toe following 

SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS! 

All of which are entirely fresh and seasonable, and are offered at 
such low prices as render t* em 

DECIJED ATTRACTIONS: 

1,000 pieces Double-fold Nuns' Veiling, in all the desirable evening 

shades, regular price 60c, will be offered as 25c. a yard. 
100 p : eces 46-ineh All-Wool Flatd, regular price 75c., will be 

offered at 35c. a yard, 
100 pieces Extri-fi e Fref.ch Drtss Plaid, regular price SI. 50, will 

be offered at 75c a yard. 
100 pieces Corduroy Suit'ng, regu'ar price §1.25, will be offered at 

60 -. a yard. 
200 pieces Tricot Cloth in all shades, regular price 60c, will be 

offered at 35c. a yard. 
250 pieces 46-inch Extra-fine French Tricot, regular price SI. 25, 

will be offered at 50c. a yard. 



COUNTRY ORDER DEPARTMENT. 

Our Country Order Department is now fully organized, and we 
t\ke pleasure' in stating thi,t our patroia are offeied advantages 
not prcsentel clstwhere, our stick being the largest on the coast, 
entirely fresh and new, samples of which we shall be glad to 
forward for comparison to any part of the State. 



J. J. O'BRIEN & CO 

Murphy Building, 
COR. MARKET AND JONES STS. 



I L-E S 



ART PAINTED, 
ENCAUSTIC, 
GLAZED AND 
PLAIN. 




For 
FLOORS.WALLS, 
HEARTHS AND 
MANTEL FAC- 
INGS. 



W. W. MONTAGUE & CO. 

Mantels, Grates, Fenders, Anc irons, 

HOT AIR FURNACES, 

309, 311, 313, 315, 317 MARKET STREET, 

(Between Beale and Fremont,) 
. SAN FRANCISCO. 



DUM VIVIMUS. VIVAMUS. 



The world is full of tears, my boy, 

The smiles you meet but rarely ; 
Mankind is by the ears, my boy, 

And fighting all unfairly. 
A thousand cares hatch every day, 

A thousand sorrows claim us ; 
Come, catch your comfort while you may — 

Bum vivimus, vivamus ! 

A withered fruit outside, my boy, 

Is life despite its glitter ; 
The tooth that has but tried, my boy, 

The rind, has found it bitter. 
To quaff the juice that swells beneath, 

Exhilarant and famous, 
Squeeze, squeeze the dry and husky sheath — 

Dura vivimus, vivamus / 

The life that rusts itself away 

Is naught to self or neighbor, 
For work's the condiment of play j 

The zest of leisure's labor ; 
And pleasure were a sorry jest, 

Invented but to shame us, 
Were loafer ease its sole behest — 

Bum vivimus, vivamus/ 

When Shylock, Time shall claim his pay, 

We have not whence to borrow — 
With no recourse for yesterday, 

No mortgage on to-morrow. 
Our lease is for to-day alone j 

Then who shall dare to blame us 
If we but make to-day our own? 

Bum vivimus, vivamus/ 
Los Angetes, Bee, 1885. Chas. F. Lummis. 



A CONSIDERATE DAUGHTER. 



Sam Holbry, a wealthy young man, has been 
paying marked attention to Miss Birdie McGinnis. 
Mrs. McGinnis, the mother of Birdie, is an im- 
mensely stout woman. A few evenings ago Mr. 
Holbry was expected to call. Just before the hour 
appointed for his arrival Birdie said to her mother : 

" Mother, dear, will you do me one favor? " 

tc What is it, dear ? " 

"You know that daughters always grow up to 
resemble their mothers." 

" Well, my dear ? " 

"Well, now just look at yourself in the glass. 
You look as big as one of these water tanks. You 
know you weigh 269 pounds." 

"Well, what is it, my daughter? " 

"Please stay in your room. Don't let Mr. 
Holbry see you. I don't want him to see much of 
you." 

" Why so, my daughter ? " 

"Because, ma, I've nearly got him coralled. He 
is a little skittish, but I'll have him roped in pretty 
soon. But if he should see you he will think that 
I'll be as big as you some of these days, and he'll 
jump the fence sure. I tell you, just wait until we 
are married, and then you can come and live with 
us, but don't scare him off just at this crisis. — 
Texas Siftings. 

CATARRH, CATARRHAL DEAFNESS 
HAY FEVER. 
A new treatment has been discovered whereby a per- 
manent cure of these hitherto incurable diseases is abso- 
lutely effected in from one to three applications, no 
matter whether standing one year or forty years. This 
remedy is only applied once in twelve days and does not 
interfere with business. Descriptive pamphlet sent free 
on receipt of stamp, by A. H. Dixon & Son, 305 King- 
street west, Toronto, Canada. 



What's the use of closing the saloons on Sunday ? 
The police won't go to church anyhow. If the sa- 
loons are open on Sunday the people know right 
where to go when they want a policeman. 

Any fool can start a paper, but it needs a wise 
man to know just when to let go of it. — Fall River 
Advance. 




BEDROCK PRICES. 



While Kaiser Wilhelm was receiving Minister 
Pendleton a slight draft of air caused his Imperial 
Majesty to sneeze. " Gesundheit! " cried Mr. Pen- 
dleton promptly. The Emperor was so pleased that 
he took Bismarck aside and told him that at last the 
United States Government was rej)resented by a real 
statesman. — Louisville Courier- Journal. 



"Is it best to shave against the beard?" asked 
Quip. "That depends on whether you are shaving 
a young or an old one," replied Snip. "Why, has 
age got to do with it ? " " Well, a young man can 
only shave down." — St. Paul Herald. 



The reason why so few marriages are happy is 
because young ladies spend their time in making 
nets, not in making cages. — Swift. 

There is only one bill more powerful than the 
plumber's — the mosquitoe's. — Wliite Hall Times. 



Uii/AORS, 

SkinBlernjs^es 

»' I AfiD I ■ 

BIRTHMARK'S 

■arecuredby- 

Cuticura 



"POR CLEANSING THE SKIN and Scalp of Infantile and Birth 
" Humors, for allaying Itching, Burning and Inflammation, for 
curing- the first symptoms of Eczema, Psoriasis, Milk Crust, Scall 
Head, Scrofula, and other inherited skin and blood diseases. 

Cuticura, the great skin cure, and Cuticura Soai\ an exquisite 
Skin Beautifier, externally, and Cuticura Resolvent, the new 
Blood Purifier, internally, are infallible. 

Cuticura Remedies are absolutely pure and the only infallible 
Blood Purifiers and Skin Beautifiers free from poisonous ingre- 
dients. 

Sold everywhere. Price, Cuticura, 50c. ; Soap, 25c. ; Resolvent, 
31. Prepared by the Potter Drug and Chemical Company, Boston, 
Mass. 

iEaTSend for "How to Cure Skin Diseases." 

<A, Back Ache, Uterine Pains, Soreness and Weakness speedily 
£&& cured by Cdticura Anti-Pain Plaster. 
^wU» Warranted. Price, 25 cents. 





ForoneofDr. HORNE'S Electric Belts that cannotba 
recharged and the Electricity felt instantly by the par 
Kent any time without cost. Can be applied to all parts 
of the body. Whole family can wear it. It Electrifies 
the blood and cures when all else fail? . Monev refunded 
If not round as above, BEWARE OF WORTHLESS so- 
ealled Electric. Galvanic or Magnetic Belts. SbleldB and 
Appliances that are being; foisted on the public, as the* 

f assess no power and cannot be charged oy the patient. 
T CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE- Pains in the Back, 
Bead. Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility. Lumbago, Gen- 
eral Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis, Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ica, Diseases of Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Gout, Asthma. Heart Disease, Dyspepsia, Constipation, 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, Impocency, Catarrh, Pile*. 
Epilepsy. Ague. Diabetes, etc AgenU W*nUd, Bum 
•tamp for Pamphlet. 
Pit W. J. liOK.NE, *-f* 

7«s Msii-kct n t reel. San Francisco, t:al. 



You are allowed a free trial of thirty days ot the use 
of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt with Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and per- 
manentcurenf Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and 
Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for many 
other diseases. Complete restorat czi to H jaith, Vigor, 
and Manhood guaranteed. No ris . is .n cur red. Illus- 
trated pamnhlet in sealer/ envelope n .,tn iree, by ad- 
dressing Vdl/TAIC BELT CO., Hit. 'slialKMich. 




RUPTURE 



^Positively cured in 60 days bj 
Jlorne'e Eleetro-MuK"ctJ< 
Mielt-Tru*s combined. Guaran- 
teed the only one in the world 
^""generating a continuous Electric & Mag 
..*tic Oun'ent. Scientiilc, Powerful, Durable 
Comfortable and Effective in curing Rup- 
ture. Price Reduced. r>nn cured in n:i Send for pamphle 
ELECTRO-MAOKTIC TRUSS COMPAOT 
Toa Mawkrt Rtrkht. Kan Francisco 



ft Weaknea 

d v and Decoy 



SeU „ f . . 
Nervous m 1 Von 
Debility ^^ Manhood 
4 favorite prescription of a noted specialist (nowii* 
tired.) Dru^ist* can fill ft. Address 

O*. if'BRD * M-, T«TTTSIANA,M<%, 



TO *M MEN? 



E suffering from the ef- 

of youthful er- 
__„. -_. ;arly docay, lost 

manhood, etc. I will send you a valuable treatise upon 
the above diseases,also directions for self-cure, free of 
charge. Address Prof. F. O. FOWLEE.,filoodu8,Conii- 



THE WASP. 



15 



ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 

310 Nansome streets Sun Francisco. 
w ii o i. i: 8 v i. i-:. 

PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 



A Flnt-clasa Restaurant tot Ladies and Gentlein 
gomery, San r run Isco. 



114 Sutter street, between Kenrnj and Monfc- 
E. R. I'KHUIN, I'im|.h 



TTFATTTC 
Okauu w 



BUSINESS Thfllosi Popular Nrlioo] on 

COLLECE, the ^""«- 

24 Post StS. F. i ii rur ni.,1.. Address 

Send for Clrcnlar. K . i», g; |: \ |.|> A: CO. 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 



imi'hktkto ash DKALBB8 is 



Hook, News, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

CARD STOCK. STRAW AND BINDERS' HOARD. KTC. 

.Manufacturer* >.l Patent Mnihiiie-iniule Paper Bog& 
.tie lo S\« Nu<-i-:iiiiciilo St.. ■ . SAS I'KAXCIKCO. 

~V^T^_ ]STTED 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Good Terms Offered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L. K. HAMMER 

820 J Street - - - Sacramento 
Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



E. Cor. Fifth and J Srs. 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 

Established, 1852. Wholesale Dealers in 

Produce and Fruit Commission Merchants 

125 and 128 J Street, Sacramento, Cal. 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

IMPORTERS A_ND DEALERS IN 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 
Baby Carriages Etc. 

629 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



GARLAND 






L. L. LEWIS & CO. 

STOVES AND RANGES 

IMPORTERS OF' CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE 

502 and 504 J Street, Sacramento. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 

Special care given to Country Orders 



W. F. PETERSON 

MANUFACTURING CONFECTIONER 

Importer and Jobber in all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuts 

Fancy Boies, etc. 

618 and 620 J St. Sacramento. Cal. 



THE FINEST BEER LN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BREWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 

Cor, 16th and K Sts. Sacramento, Cal. 

Orders promptly attended to. 



MRS. E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 
Branch House, 419 K St., Metropolitan Theater Building. 

Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer of the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lemon 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints, Oils .and Glass. 
Proprietors "f Pacific Color Works. Acme Rubber Paint a 
specialty. 915, 917 and 919 Second St.. Sacramento, CaL 



A. H. POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents for Dr. Mott'B Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett Springs Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or in caEe 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO. CAL. 



A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing. Robes. Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St., Sacramento. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN BROS. 

IMPORTERS OS' 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN STREET, STOCKTON, CAL. 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 



OF STOCKTON, CAL, 



Capital Surplus, 



$300,000.00 



H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Fraser, Cashier 
General Banking Business 



CORBIN HARROWS 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

Importers of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY 

280 ii 282 Main Street Stockton 



IT- 


131. IK- 




HORSE 


MEDICINE 




H, H. MOORE & SONS. Proprietors 






Stockton 


Cal. 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS, STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 

SEATING CAPACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Complete Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY GOODS 

185 HuNTERf Street Stockton, Cal 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia. Headache, Sprains. Bruiaefa, 
Sore Throat, Colds, Kidney troubles, etc. A Specific for 

Croup. Try It ! Try It I For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 50c. and SI per bottle. Address 

W. M. HICKMAN, DRUGGIST, STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 



Blacksrnithmg ami General Jobbing. Orders from the Country 
promptly attended. N.E. Cor. California & Market St. Stockton 



J. H. O'BRIEN 

Wholesale Dealer in 

FINE WINES and LIQUORS 

224 Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Miller Extra Eastern Whiskies, Imported Brandies, Bethesda 
Water, English Ale and Porter, 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private Asyli'm for the cure and treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 



ASA CLARK. M. D., Prop'r and Supt. 



GRAYS 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

USTPersonal attention given to orders by mail for anything 
in the drug or medicine line. J. D. GRAY, 176 MAIN St,, 

Stockton. (27 years iu the business.) 



SYLVESTER & HARROLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom, 250 & 252 Main Street, Stockton 

Factory on Main St. bet. Grant & Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory jn the San Joaquin Valley 



H. C. SHAW, PLOW WORKS 

AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS 



201 & 203 EL DORADO STREET 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain and Produce 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Orders solicited and promptly filled." All kinds of Seeds for 

sale. Post Office Box 273. 



YOSEMITE HOUSE 

Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rates— $2.00 to §3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH & WRENCH. Proprietors 



#/ d 



o 

o 
o 

o 

I— I 
CO 

O 

H 
fe=) 
h3 
i— i 

!z5 

O 




PERKIJSR S FRENCH RESTAURANT PRIVATE .!«i BA 5 ETHALL 12 & 14 O'Farrell 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COMPAQ V, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS-. S. F. 
Manufacturer* ol uid Di ilen In 

FURNITURE, BEDDING & UPHOLSTERY, 

H i« n Mantels and Hardwood 

House Finish n Specialty) 

A L-AROB A880RTMKJTI CoSSTANTLTjOX HlWD vsi. 

■ m \in ro Oi 



Bveo Article Warranted and Satisfaction 
Guaranb .--i. 



CONOVER PIANOS. 

Conover Bros., Xc« York. _ 



TERRlTORt OOMTHOUJX BV 1 1 E 
SAN FRANCISCg ^f^OFFIC E 

'■ liltfOHtllA 

V / 



KEWH0ME 



r/^, SEWING MACHINE C 2 
<**»&£& / 634 MARKET ST SAN FRANCISCO 

Ug5!!i&!M«w| 




AGENTS WANTED 
In Unoccupied Territory. 






tV. <j. badger, 

HALLETT, DAVIS & CO'S 
Celebrated 

PIANOS, 

Geo. Woods & Co's Parlor and Vestry Organs, 
IS Nhiihoiih* Mtreet, s. F. 



Instantaneous Photographs, 

l«a.» I.AItKIV STREET, 

ol Suttor, SAN PRAKCI8CO. 




STORE YOUR FURNITURE, p,AN E^ s c., T A r KS 
< AI.IKIKMA STORAGE WAREHOUSE, ».).) HUSSION TUP NICX/AltA D A M is 
Xext l<> <- i-iLiiil ■„ -.-. Vilviui.cs made. <~~ STREET, I H t INLVAUA BANK 

KOHLER & CHASE, 




187 A I3» 1'OST STttEET, 

AOENTB KOK TUB 

CELEBRATED IVERS & POND 

NO iii constant use in RTew England 
Conservatory «f Minnie. 



The most perfect Pianos aver produced. Es- 
pecially adapted tor Artists and Biusieians. The 

coming Upright Piai i Amoricu. We invite 

critical examination and comparison, 

F. W. SI'EXtER A CO., Pacific 
Coast Agents, 23 and 25 fifth street, opposite 
l. . s. Mint, San Prailcisco, Cal. 

SEX!) HOR IU1U8TBATBD lATALUOVK. 



" Fashionable and fits him like a 
Glove." 



COMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 
Manufacturers o! Every Description of 

TOILET AND LAUNDRY SOAPS, WASHINC POWDER, ETC., ETC. 



OHice, i'l'S Sacramento St., - - San Francisco, Cal. 

IIAKIS * LIBIIRY, Managers. 



s 



WAIN'S 

OOn MARKET, \ 

U O Opp. Palace Hotel. l 



rAMlLY BAKERY and 
I" DINING SALOON. 



Families supplied witli Wfddlng « akt>, 
Ire frfflm, ftyBtpr-*, Jellies. « tc- 

G S. HALL, Proprie-' -. 



joe poheims SUPERIOR STAR * COAL. 



Customer's as he left that Tailor's 
Establishment. 

SUITS FROM S20 
PANTS _^ S6 

20» Montgomery street, 

724 Market street, 
II IO ami II 12 Market street, 

II ami I a Turk street. 



Itetter than all others for Family Use. Less Smoke or Soot. Charm- 
ing for the Parlor ami the Kitchen. Tell your Dealer that you must 
have STAR COAL. 



Mais Ofkige, li>(S TO 112 MiK 



John M. Curtis, 

(Utc CURTIS S BENNBTT,) 

ARCHITECT, 

512H California St. Rooms 14 and 15. 

JOHN B. MclNTYRE, 
BOOK BINDER 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 
423 Clay anil 422 Commercial Sts. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 




HAS ItKMOVKI). 



^ HOME MUTUAL INS. CO. 



NOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
Xo. 216 Sansome street. 

East side, bet. California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more commodious offices. 

21st Annual Exhibit, Jan. 1, iss.i 

Premiums since organ 'zatsion $5,021,369 52. 



Capital paid up. 63,600,000. 

Agenc) at New Vork, 82 Wall street. 

Agency ;it Virginia, Nevada, 

Buys and sells Exchange and Telegraphic 

Transfers. [shuc* Cuiinncnia) and Travelors' 

Credits. 



LONDON, PARIS AND AMERICAN BANK 

bl&HTKD, 

S20i> MaiiNome Nti t. 

Subscribed Capitol $2,1100,000 00 

Paid up Capital 85,000.00 

Reserve Fund .;»,«. 

DAVID CAllN Manaeer 

EUGENE MEYER ..Sub-Kfer 

Head Office : 
) and 10 Tokenhouse Yard. Lothburr, London. 

VGEXC1ES- 1 Par is— 10 rue St. Cecile. 

1 New York-40 Exchange place. 

This Bonk transacts a general Banking and 
Lxinanc/e Itusmcss, issues Letters,.! Credituml 
Travelers' Credits, available in the principal 
cities of the world. 

ANGLO-NEVADA 
Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

FIRE «Sfc MABIIVE. 

Subscribed Capital 92,000 000. 

Office: 410 Pine street. 

W\ GREER HARRISON, President and Manager 

J. L. FLOOD Vice-President 

C. P. FARNFIELD Secretary 

J. S. ANGUS Assistant .Manager 

Bankers--The Xcvada Hank of 
San Francisco. 



Losses since organization ?,118,501 

Assets, Jan. 1, 1885 856,658 22 

Surplus for Policy Holders 825,963 (18 

Income 1S84 484,010 7:1 

Capital, paid-up, Gold 800,000 (10 

Reinsurance Reserve 275,1,17 07 

Net Surplus over everything 250,806 61 



President 

Vi-ie-President. . . 

Secretary 

General Agent. . . 



I. I'\ IIOI'GHTDN 

...J. L. N. SHEI'Allli 
.CHARLES R. STOEY 
R. H. MAGILL 



GERMEA 

FOR BREAKFAST, 

DELICIOUS. 
#.' TRY IT! 



FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, JOHN MIDDLETON, 

309. 311 Front St., San Franeiseo ^^4"fc -^. 1 

Tin-: Best and •Purbbt ok CixiPOftsiA Wises i 

AND BRANDIES. 14- Post, and S. W. cor. Powell & Sutter. 

ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

'ommenee the Xew Year right, 

Economize in every way possible. 
Buy a It TICK BEO as a starter 

and Save Kent. 

3URR FOLDING BED GO. 

•80S MARKET STREET. Bed Or 





CALIFORNIA 

Sugar Refinery. 

Office, 827 Market street. 
RKF1XEKY, - POTKEKO. 



CLAIS SPRECKEfcS President 

.1. D. SPRECKEl.s Vice President 

A. B. SPRECKELS Secretary 



W. T. COLEMAN & CO. 

SHIPPING AND 

Commission Merchants, 

s.l-:. cor. Market ami Main Sts. 
SAN FRANCISCO. 



Adopted1876. ORIGINAL Registeredl 877. 

<$& BUDWEISER <^ : 



On Draught i /\i |Y/pp PHELAN BLOCK, 

only at the L_V^^ V RU) for. Ditpont. 

JU1,IIJS GRUEN, Proprietor. 



RRANP.H ST. ANN'S BUILDING, 

U ■ \r\ I ^1 \S II) Jan, Eddy and Powell. 
JULIUS GRUEN & MAX VOGELSLANG, Prop'tors 



MAYES 



J OYSTEH, SALOONI DEALS EXCLUSIVELY IN OYSTERS 



^TVI> IDEJPOT. 



40 CALIFORNIA MARKET, entrance on California St. 



DANICHEFF KID GLOVES. N 



SALESROOM, 

o. 119 DUPONT STREET 



CD 

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O 

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CO 

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MO 

1 

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i— * 
bd 

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CD 

o. 



GO 
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CD 
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03 



DR. ZEILE'S HAMMAM, 



(Established 1852.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best BATHS on the 
Pacific Coast. Turkish, Russian, Steam, Sulphur or Medicated Baths 
for Ladies and Gentlemen. All on the ground floor (no basement). 



\JULA 10 \JuO Near KEARNY 



- — 



/ETNA SPRINGS SODA. 



PURE NATURAL MINERAL WATER. 

Office: ?•»?.> HOWARD STREET. 



For Sale Everywhere. 

TRY IT. 



FIRE. 

The Largest Pacific- Coast Insurance Co. 



MLtViMJVE. ASK 

for 



Mitt raN 




-^sk R.H.M c Donald. 

for —PRESIDENT.— 

RHJVl c DonaldJL 



LTTZVGrS, 

FEVERS. 



OF CALIFORNIA. 

ASSETS Sl.500.000 

HOME OFFICE: 
S.W. cor. California and Sansome, 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

Post Office Box 1886. 

D. J. Staples President 

Alpiieis Bl-ll Vice-President 

Wm. J. Dcttos Secretary Address. 

E. W. Carpenter Assistant Secretary 

VALEXTIXE HASSKER. 933 Washington St. ror Powell. S. F 



THROAT, 

CATAEEH 

It will Cnre 

CONSUMPTION 





►i 



500,000,00 

San Francisco, CaL Jan.! 5 . 1 1885 



For Conghs, Colds, Whoop. TRE C0(0A (ROP is SHORT 

ingr Coughs and all Throat 

Affections it has no equal. 



TRADE MARK. 
Patented Feb. -2n. 1SS3. 



HI TCHIXSOX & MANS 
INSURANCE AGENCY, 

X. K. cor. i 'alifornia & Sansome. 

CASH ASSETS REPRESENTED $23,613,618 

H. M. Newhall & Co. 
SHIPPING & COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

General Agents of 

TV j>jr IOXAL 

Assurance Co. of Ireland. 
Assurance Co. of London. 
Mutual Ins. Co. of Boston. 

309 SANSOME STREET. 

RANKS ALL ! 
The Old Reliable 

MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE GO. 

Of Xrw York. 

A. B. FORBES, 

General Agent for the Pacific Coast. 
214 SAXSOME STREET. 



GIVt THY bON A LIBERAL EDUCATION." 

AC1FIC BUSINESS flQLLEGE 



P ACIFIC n 
UFE MEMBERSHIP I 
ONLY S70. |Jf 



UFE MEMBERSHIP I jSEND FOR 

ONLY S70. Ur CIRCU-AR 



y 32o p ivr 



GEO. C. SHREVE & CO. 

Sole Agents in California for the Sale of 

ROGERS, SMITH & GO'S PLATED WARE. 

Oiler Full Moines of lliese I>esirsil»le Goods 
:ti Very tow Prices. 

MONTGOMERY AND SUTTER STREETS. 

Dr. Crates' Turkish and Russian Steam Baths. 

ELECTRICITY APPLIED ! BEST SHAMPOOING 1 ! 

T^Si MONTGOMERY ST., - - near Washington. 



PUTNAM HOUSE, AUBURN, CAL 



LOOK OUT FOR ADULTERATIONS! 
MY «SIY« 

WALTER BAKER k CO.'S 

CHOCOLATE 

Yoit -will be sure oi' securing 

THE rest: 

WM. T. COLEMAN & CO. 
soi.r: A(;f.\ts 

OCEANIC STEAMSHIP CO. 
J. D. Spreckles k Bros., 

327 Market Street, 





Home for Invalids, Tourists, and Plea-'irc-seekers. Auburn is known as the healthiest town in 
California. The climate is peculiarly adapted to lung diseases, etc. . while the surroundings of the 
PUTNAM assures recreation to all. ' Terms moderate. JOBX <jiASSXER. Prop'r. 

ITSE CMVLY 

S T^. >DARD 

MACHINE LOADED 
SHOTGUN CARTRIDGES. 

CHEAPEST ^.>r> BEST I 




jJWHiiil^ — ■■ 1 -"m-^JIHUHMUg 
I Lt.S '/ ) §=?== itm \ 



fu^" v£ 



.rollerI 



~> BEST FAM I LYl g^j 
RYBt'CO.- STOCKTO N CAL. * 
FRANCISCO OFFICE 22 CALIFORNIA ST 



OWNERS OF 

SPRECKLES' IDE OF PACKETS 
Packages A. Freight to Honolulu 

C. L.BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

Poultry and Wild Game 

05, *'■*'•- 07 California Maru<( . 
Sa> - Francisco. All orders attended to at the 
■ Shortest Notice. Goods delivered Free of Charge 
to any part of the City. 

DUFFEY & O'BRIEN, 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

POULTRY «5c GAME. 

Stalls 3 a; 4 California Market, 
(California St. entrance) San Francisco. 

E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public & Commissioner of Deeds. 
238 MONTGOMERY STREET. S. F. 

NAPA SODA SPRINCS. 

THE GEM OF NAPA VALLEY. 
IC00 FEET HIGH 
PRINCE OF PLEASURE RESORTS 
HOT SODA WATER BATHS. 
SWIMMING POOL IN NATURAL 
ROCKY BED. 

Hotel Always Open. 



Best 3-4 Garden Hose lOcents 

Xen Gas and Oil Stoves SI to SO 

Xew Electric Oil Torches. :s4 each 

W. E. LA>E, 

lMumlMiiii 'Well Done. 

505 KEARNY STREET. 



D 



W. LAIRD 



ESTABLISHED 



EjO 



fegsisg? 



& SOCIETY EMBLEMS 

MADE TO OBDEB. 



POST ST. 



MANUFACTURERS OF 

iBELS 5 SHOW CARDS. 

• I enx hbanos i 

21-31 MAIN ST-i* 5M* f^KHCvaOS 



SHIRTS TO ORDER, J. W. CARMANY, 25 KEARNY STREET. 




Price }- 



SAN FRANCISCO, SATURDAY, JANUARY 9, 1886. 



-| lO CENTS. 



REPRESENTING THE /WS AND MANUFACTURES OF 



JA 




ICHI BAN 



free Exhibition 

PARENT OF THE fAN|OUS fiEE BAfJ Of CHICAGO. 0PP05ITE PALAGE H0TEL ° PP0SirE MASON IC TEMPLE 




- 

T 



CH AS. I. HAVENS, 

ARCHITECT, 

Formerly Schmidt & Havens, 

121 POST ST., Rooms 27-28, over O'Connor, Moffatt& Co. 

San Francisco. 





"EXCELSIOR!" "EXCELSIOR!" 

C. ZINN S, 

FASHIONABLE TAILOR, 

5 Montgomery Strbet (Masonic Temple), 
SAN FRANCISCO. 



J. D. BARR & SON, 

323 IHtbii Street, next to Bush-street Theater, and 

932 Market Street, next to Baldwin Theater, 
Manufacturers and Importers of 

Umbrellas, Walking Canes, Parasols, Etc. 

The most extensive establishment on the Pacific Coast. 





EIRE AND BURGLAR-PROOF 






SAFES. 




M 


IGHELL & RICHARD 


s, 




Con. Market and Davis Sts., San Francisco. 





A. O. COOK & SON, 
ajgllllll y MARK. ^^^ 

LEATHER BELTING, 

415 Market Street, San Francisco. 



b£S t roller M40£i 
STARR'S EXTRA, 

Is the Finest FLOUR to Use. 
STARR & CO. - 16 California St., San Francisco. 



GEORGE MORROW & CO. 

(Established 1854), 

Hay, Grain and Commission Merchants, 

SHIPPING ORDERS A SPECIALTY, 
39 Clay Street, - - - San Francisco. 



GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER. 

DRINK 

African Stomach Bitters. 

Most Agreeable Tonic Ever Prepared. 



AMMEN'S COUGH SYRUP, 


The Great Remedy for 




COUGHS, COLDS, ETC., 


ETC. 


Ask Your Druggist for It. 





AMERICAN EXCHANGE HOTEL, 

SANSOME STREET, S. F. 
The traveling public will find this to be the most con- 
venient as well as the most comfortable and respectable 
Hotel in the city. Board and room £1, 31.25 and §1.50 per 
day. None but most obliging white labor employed. Free 
("loach to and from the Hotel. 

MONTGOMERY BROS. Proprietors. 



E 


. MAR 


TIN 


& 


CO. 


Importers 

"Argonaut," 
Extra," 


and Wholesale Liquor Dealers. 

'J. F. Cutter" and "Miller's 
Old Bourbon Whiskies. 


408 


Front Street, 




SAN 


r RANCISCO. 



COOKS BROS. 

WALL PAPER AND FRESCOING, 
Parquet Floors, Imitation Stained Glass, 

. 108 Post Street, San Francisco. 



" WHITE 


HOUSE " 


WHISKIES 


Holland Gin, 

etc 


French Brandies, Port, Sherry, 
, in Bond or Duty Paid. 


GEORGE STEVENS, 


318 Front St., Room 2, 


San Francisco. 



F. DANERI & CO. 

IMPORTERS and WHOLESALE GROCERS, 

AGENTS FOR THE FAMOUS 

FERNET-BRANC A, 

27 & 20 California St., bet. Davis & Drumm. 



GO TO THE 

TERRAPIN OYSTER HOUSE 

IS STOCKTON ST. 

Private Dining Rooms up stairs. Open all night. 



lh-4" 



M. MEUSSDORFFER'S HATS are " THE " STYLES.™ t/MiffSr™ 



THE CELEBRATED 

CHAMPAGNE WINES 

Of Messrs. DEUTZ & GELDERMAN, 
Ay, en Champagne. 



CACHET IWLANC, tres Sec, 

Extra Dry, in Cases, Quarts and Pints. 

Cabinet Green Seal, 

In Baskets, Quarts and Pints. 

Bordeaux lfiecl and YFIiite 
Wines, 

In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Hock "Wines, 

In Cases, from G. M. Pabstmann Sohn, Mainz. 



GHAS. MEINEGKE & CO. 

Importers and Sole Agents, 
314 SACRAMENTO STREET, S.F. 



t^eL^. 




THE LARGEST 

Lager Beer 

BREWERY 



OS THE PACIFIC COAST. 

JOHN WIELAND, 

PROPKIETOIt, 

Second street, near Folsoin, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



* ^SS? ***&K 




CAPITAL 

stock: 
$200,000. 



PHOTOGRAPHER, 

8 Montgomery St., San Francisco 

Veuve Clicquot 

(Yellow Iiabel) 

CHAMPAGNE. 

Quarts and Pints. 

J±. VIGNIEK, 

MOLE AOEXT, 

429 and 431 Battery St., S.F. 

J. V. LAWREXCE, 

Carpentei* and Builder, Xo. 019 

Sacramento street, S. F. 

Cabinet Work and Fitting Up Offices promptly 
attended to. Telephone No. 900. 



FOE THE BEST IMPROVED 

ARTIFICIAL LIMBS 

ADDRESS 

MENZO SPRING, 
=| 9 Geary St. || 

B| SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. |j 
S OPFICE 6. s 



BECHSTEIN 

Grand and Upright Pianos. 

GENERAL AGENT yos PACIFIC COAST, 
737 Market street, S. F. 

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. 



OUR LAGER BEER IS 
EREWED BY THE NEW 
METHOD AND WAR- 
RANTED TO KEEP IN 
ANY CLIMATE. 




Comer of / 
POWELL & FRANCISCO 

STREETS. 
TELEPHONE 9012. 

ALE f& PORTER 

In Bulk or Bottle, Superior 
to any on the Pacific Ooaat. 




RUDOLPH MOHR, Sec'y. 



Patronize DE-Zoioa© Production. 



CARTE 
BLANCHE 



CE3L.EBRA.TEI> CALIFOUMA 



c *4Jttl». 





m- SUPERIOR to All i n RICHNESS & QUALITY 

for FCBX1TIKE, PIANOS and other 
Goods, at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
HOUSE, 735 Market St. Advances 
made. J. M . PIERCE. 



STORAGE 



Jos. Fredericks 

& CO. 

949 & 951 Market St. 

FURNITURE 

and CARPETS. 

Latest Designs. 



THE BOSS 



For Sale l>y 



PACIFIC SAW MANUFACTURING CO 

17 & 13> Fremont St., S.F. 



Complete with Pacific Saw Manufacturing: Com- 
pany's Extra Blade, set and filed ready 
for work, ?>i .50 each. 



BEFORE BUYING YOUR 
SAFE 

Call and see our large stock. 
Second-hand Safes always 
on hand. Safes sold on the 
Installment Plan. 

HALL'S SAFE AND LOCK COMPANY, 

ail A a 13 California St., S. F. 



SATJJL.M.A.IVINr'S 

RESTAURANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

530 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered daily. Cakes made to 
Order. Sole Agent for RUSSIAN CAVIAR and 
WESTPHALIA HAMS. German Sausages. 

A. HEUSCHE. 

J. D. SPREGKELS & BROS. 

SHIPPING ANI> 

Commission Merchants. 

AGENTS FOR 

Spreckels' Line of Hawaiian Packets, S. S. 

Hepworth's Centrifugal Machines,. Seed's 

Patent Pipe and Boiler Covering. 

327 MARKET STREET, 

Cor. Fremont, 
SAX FRAXCISCO. 





STEINWAY. 



Double Triumph at London, ISS5. 

Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
Grand Gold Medal by the Society of Arts for " Best Pianos 
and several meritorious and useful Inventions. 

M- GRAV, 30« Posi street, S. P. 





CENTRAL 



113 GEARY ST., above Dupont, S. F. 

The most comfortable, cheapest and cleanest Hot and Cold Water Baths in the city with Hot 
or Cold Showers. Salt Water, Sulphur and Bran Baths. Try them. 

L. CORRIVEAU, Proprietor. 



M. 



J I CMD'Q WESTERN BREWERY, 
. LQIVIr O st., louis, mo. 



AMERICAN 

SUGAR REFINERY CO. 

San Francisco. 

Manufacturers of all Classes of 

; Refined Sugars, including Loaf 

Sugar for Export. 

E. L. G. STEELE, President. 



Imitated by Many, 

Equaled by None. 

J. T^. EV^TNTS, 
GENERAL AGENT, 

3So. 89 POST ST. 




iOTTO NORMANN ''Lg^aaTdA'- 



Office, 208 California St. 

WILLIAMS, DIMOND & CO. 

SHIPPING AN1> 

I Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
Junction Market & Fine streets, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

AGENTS FOR 

Pacific Mail S. S. Co. ; the Pacific Steam Naviga- 
tion Co. ; the Cunard Royal Mail S. S. Co. ; the 
Hawaiian Line ; the China Traders' Insurance 
| Co. (limited) ; the Marine Insurance Co. of 
i London ; the Baldwin Locomotive Works ; the 
Glasgow Iron Co. ; Nich, Ashton & Son's Salt. 



ELLERT'S PHARMACY, 



S. W. COR. CALIFORNIA AND EEARNY STREETS. 

Prices Loner than any other house in the city. Call or send for Price list. Importer 
Aniygdalline and Glycerine lor whitening and softening the Skin. TELEPHONE lsso. 



SAN FRANC1S00 SA.TTTRDAT- .UK0ART 9. 1886. 




SCHMIDT LABELS, LITHO CO, SUN FRANCI5C0 



HIDE AND SEEK. 



THE WASP. 



"THE MUSIC OF MACBETH.' 



Composed by William Shakespeare. Arranged by A. G. B. 



Dr. O'Donnell. 
The multiplying villainies of nature 
Do swarm upon him. — Act I, Scene 2. 

Sister Stow. 
Seems to speak strange things. — 7, 2. 

Colonel Bee. 
Without a tail.— J, 2. 

Professor Hilgard. 

Look in the seeds of time 
And say which grain will grow and which will rot. 

—I, S. 
Hall McAllister. 
Thou shalt get kings. —J, 3. 

H. C. Wetsmann. 
Nothing afeard of what thyself- did make. — I, 3. 

Charlkt Reed. 
The instruments of darkness tell us truths. — I, 3, 
Harry Maynard : 
" Knock at my ribs." — I, 3. 

A. W. Bowman. 
He was a gentleman on whom I built 
An absolute trust. — 7, 4- 

Collector Hager. 

Your highness' part 
Is to receive our duties. — I, 4. 

Chief Crowley: 
" Let's after him." — I, 4- 

George Hearst. 

Thou wouldst be great — 
Art not without ambition. — J, 5, 

G. W. Tyler: 
" Chastise with the valor of my tongue 
All that impedes. " — I, 5. . 

Mike Cleary. 
Falls on the other. — 7, 7^ 

In Re Chris. Buckley. 
We will proceed no further in this business : 
He hath honored me of late. — I, 7. 

Edward Neumann : , 
" I have drugged." — II, 2. 

LORING PICKERING; 

'Faith, here's an equivocator. — II, 3, 
Alexander Badlam: 
f This place is too cold." — 77, 3. 

Don Barclay Henley. 
Was it so late, friend, when you went to bed, 
That you do lie so ? — 77, 3. 

Dr. Whitney : 
*' We delight in physics." — II, 3.' 

Charles D. Ladd: 
" I'll make so bold to call." — II, 3. 
Clarence Greathouse— James A. Johnson, 
'Tis said they eat each other.—//, 4. 

General Turneull. 
He hath a wisdow that doth guide his valor 
To act in safety. — III, 1. 

Eugene Dewey. 
They hailed him father. — 777, 7. 
D. S. Terry: 

" I am one, my liege, 
1 Whom the vile blows and buffets of the world 
Have so incensed that I am reckless what I do 
To spite the world."— 777, 7. 

3* Th-e Chinese. 

You must leave this. — 777, 2, 

Postmaster Backus. 
He needs not our distrust, since he delivers * * 
To the direction just.— 7J7, 3. 

J. P>. Haggin. 
His horses go about. — 77/, 3, 
■ J. E. Koosher. 
Hath nature in him that will venom breed. — ///, 4- 

Sam. 1). Mayer. 
Song [within,] — 7/7, 5. 

G. K. Fitch: 

"My little spirit, see, 
Sits in a foggy cloud. " — ///, 5. 

Count Smith. 
A Room in the Palace. — 7/7, 6, 
Fred. Sharon. 
Palaces and pyramids do slope. — IV, 1. 
Black Bart: 
" Pass over the stage." — IV, 1. 



Mayor Bartlett : 
" Infected be the air."— JF, 1. 
W. H. Sears. 
And what will you do now ? How will you live ? 

—7 V, 2. 
Senator Fair. 
Then you'll buy 'em to sell again. — IV, 2. 

Nicholas Luning. 
In my most ill-composed affection such 
A stanchless avarice. —IV, 3. , 

Charles Graham. 

There ran a rumor 
Of many worthy fellows that were "out." — IV, 3. 

Sarah Althea. 
She has spoke what she should not. — V, 1. 
Joseph Irwin: 
" I have a file of all the gentry."— V, 2. 
Judge Clough. 
Some say he's mad. — V, 2. 

Valentine Hassmer: 
Your royal preparation. — V, 3. 

General Jjuiond. 
Enter with drum and colors. — V, 4. 
George Lette: 
" I have supped full." — V, 5. 

Peter Robertson. 
Dunsinane. — V, 7. 

Hector Stuart's Father : 
" If I had as many sons as I have hairs 
I would not wish them." — V, 3. 



THE POLITE LETTER-WRITER. 



RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR. 



From and after the first day -of January, 1886, I 
do hereby solemnly swear that I will rigorously and 
in good faith for the term of one calendar year ab- 
stain from the following vices and improprieties : 
Associating with Dr. O'Donnell. Going to church 
immediately after coming out of a saloon. Talking 
! to my barber more than is necessary. Writing like 
j Dr. Bartlett. Inconveniencing my creditors with 
! large sums of silver. Drinking claret when I can 
j get Burgundy. Treating the crowd if it is a large 
j one. Borrowing money of Nicholas Luning without 
| giving security. Endowing universities in opposi- 
tion to that of the State at Berkeley. Running for 
j Governor on the Democratic ticket. Conducting 
\ religious exertions in the public street. Kissing 
: Sister Stow. Assisting in the manufacture of dyna- 
mite bombs. Getting between a policeman and the 
i man with a knife whom he is clubbing. Personating 
a leper. Abducting widows. Giving real estate to 
beggars without inquiry. Smoking 50-cent cigars at 
i a 10-cent show. Going home tipsy if I can get into 
; my club. Dining at the Poodle Dog immediately 
1 after dinner at Marchand's, and vice versa. Going 
j to the minstrels in a light and worldly frame of 
I mind. Annoying the people in a theater bar-room 
I by getting up and going into the auditorium between 
! acts. Writing poetry. Teaching Sanscrit. Fight- 
i ing Harry Maynard. Encouraging Chinese immi- 
j gration by hiring myself out to a Chinaman. Biting 
i mad dogs and rattlesnakes. Bigaming. Rolling 
Governor Stoneman. Leaving my clothes with a 
School Director while bathing. Committing suicide 
while laboring under temporary insanity. Commit- 
i ting it at all. Laboring at all. Accepting a valuable 
: gold watch and chain as a slight testimonial of my 
: readers' esteem. Slapping Bishop Kip on the back 
and calling him old boy. Imitating the late W. H. 
Vanderbilt in my financial transactions. Pursuing 
j Geronimo in the Sierra Madre. Saving the day on 
the battle-fields of the civil war, in print. Conduct- 
: ing a secret correspondence with the Princess of 
Wales. Dining at the Chinese restaurants. Tack- 
i ling Tyler. Summoning Chris. Buckley for con- 
tempt. Wearing a medal of the Mechanics' Institute, 
i Writing love-letters to Sarah Althea. Washing 
' Neilson. Living in Milpitas. Interviewing a re- 
! porter. Holding a strange woman's baby while she 
'. buys a ticket. Holding a strange baby's woman. 
Swearing off. 

There was an old doctor, who, when asked what 
was good for moths, wrote back : " How do you 
suppose I can tell until I know what ails the moths. " 

SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER OIL, 

WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, 
As a Cure for Marasmus in Children. Wm. Fair, of 
Brooklyn, L. I., says: "On the recommendation x)f my 
physician, Dr. Wm. Vyse, I have given my hoy, who was 
dangerously ill of Marasmus, your Emulsion, with excellent 
effect, and he is at present as hale and hearty as can be 
wished." 



From a Gentleman to a Lady asking her to buy a dog. 

Deer missus excudge the libty which I takes my 
Penn in hand for to ax yer wude yer like a bul pup 
call at number 399st markut stret nex to Jery 
Donvens sloon on tusday an my ole wuman wil sho 
you a snoozer Bet yer life hes a dazy hopen to see 
you promply on time lie has got more teeth than ary 
harro and I hopes yer enjoyn the same blesin very 
Trooly yer fred Bll cooney. 



From a Gentleman of Fashion to a Lady whom he 
has never met. 
Respected Madam, — 1 desire to call your atten- 
tion to my large and choice stock of tinware and 
kitchen utensils, as per enclosed catalogue. These 
peerless articles are my own make, and I defy com- 
petion. The "Victoria Regina" wash-boiler, war- 
ranted to fit any stove, is the handsomest out, and 
for a holiday present leaves nothing to be desired. 
My celebrated stove-polish, the " Flashing Beacon,." 
is a purely vegetable preparation, and in this season 
of charitable impulses it seems proper to say that 
nothing could be more suitable for a donation to a 
Negro orphan asylum than this incomparable cos- 
metic. With deep respect, your obedient servant, 
Joel B. Junker. 

From a young Lady at a Seminary to her Sister at 
* Some. 

Dearest Tillie, — You've no idea what a perfectly 
splendid time Im haveing since I got into the Seenior 
Class — it's just to lovly for any thing ! Since this 
become a Seminary us girls are having more atten- 
tion from the fellows. I supose they were too high 
and mighty to care for us when we were only 
"boarding-school girls," but now they give us the 
sweetest looks ! And only think, one; of them has 
actuary wrote me a note and threw it into the dormi- 
tory window, tied to a stone ! And — the best joke — 
the stone hit that nasty stuck up Moll Calrue in the 
eye and she has it tied up yet and had to lie about 
it ! Ain't it too bad I've got to graduate. ■ Send me 
a box of nice spruce gum. Your affectionate sister, 

Bellte. 

P. S. — His name is Willie Burt and he has a 
moustache and real rich folk. Don't let on. 



From a Poet to an Editor. 

Sir, — In the last number of your rotten and 
pedicular sheet, which has just been called to my 
attention, you make an infamous attack upon my 
book and a disgusting assault on my personal char- 
acter, under the pretense of impartial (?) criticism — 
heaven save the mark ! I would have you to know, 
sir, that your impotent scurrulity and feeble malig- 
nopy have no more effect on me than water on a 
duck's back — a canvas-hack duck. I am assured by 
persons of competent judgment that my work has 
many of the qualities of that of the most immortal 
bards now living, and against this endorsement your 
lying, leprous and calumniose pen can avail nothing. 
I suppose you want to be "fixed." You will get 
from me nothing but silent contempt. Posterity 
shall judge between us — I standing with Shakespeare 
on the heights of song and you groveling despised in 
the filth of your possum-like turpitude. 

Hector A. Welcker. 



From a Millionaire to a poor Widow whom he does 
not wish to marry. 
Madam, — Unless your rent is paid promptly here- 
after by the first of each month you will have to find 
other quarters. I don't own houses for fun. 

J. SwELLFRONT SCOOP. 



From a Gentleman to the Stepson of his divorced 
Wife's Awit. 
Dear Ned, — As you rightly say, the ties of con- 
sanguinity are mightier than the sword and there's 
no getting away with family pride and the sense of 
kinship ; but as matters stand between me and your 
fair step-cousin, I don't somehow feel as much 
drawn to you as I did, and shall have to refuse the 
loan. If this family is ever united again, and your 
margin is still short, I'll try to respond in damages, 
as requested ; but just now there is a gulf between 
us that would fit a whale. In other respects very 
truly yours, Simeon Simon Simms. 



Dobson says that his friends seem determined to 
give him the title of "Dr." His butcher and baker 
and all the rest do so, but they put the "Dr." after 
the name instead of before it. 



THE WASP. 



OUR PICTURES. 



The engrossing question of the day which now 
dominates the President, press and people is ! 
whether silver shall be demonetized. The speech 
in Congress of Senator Beck of Kentucky in favor 
of the white metal hits struck the cord of popular 
sympathy and elicited responses of cordial approval 
from the entire South and West. The fact is that > 
no other question before the people to-day is fraught 
with such serious consequences in its solution. It 
means prosperity or disaster. It involves bankruptcy 
to the weak debtor and a struggling effort to evade j 
poverty on the part of all who owe money. Take j 
silver from our circulating medium and every dollar 
of our indebtedness would be increased double. 
That is it would take twice as much labor or double J 
the number of bushels of wheat to pay a debt that 
are now required. Gold financiers tell us that the \ 
silver dollar will only buy eighty cents in gold. Be | 
this so, and yet what difference does it make to the ! 
people ? Why want to buy gold when silver is just 
as good for all other purposes I A dollar in silver 
will buy just as much of either labor or material, 
land or production as a dollar of gold. As to paying 
the national bonds they are by their terms payable 
in "lawful money" or in "coin." Silver is coin ; 
as much so as gold. But it is said that if the bonds 
be paid in silver then they will fall in price. Well, 
suppose even this be true. Where is the obligation 
upon this people to maintain our four-per-cent. 
bonds at twenty-five per cent, premium ? Even if 
they should sell at par what law moral or statutory 
is transgressed or contravened ? No one but money- 
lenders would be affected and they only to the 
extent of lopping oft' excessive profits. On the other 
hand would it not be infamous to impose upon this 
people the burden of paying off eighteen hundred 
millions of dollars— our national indebtedness — in 
dollars worth twice as much as is specified in the 
bond? Tliis would be the result were silver de- 
monetized. Such an imposition would be resented 
by our people even to mutiny and revolution. The 
energetic, ambitious and daring people of this land 
are debtors and they will never quietly submit to be 
mortgaged to insolvency hi favor of the gold-bugs 
of the world. 

Our double-page cartoon represents the mighty 
power of silver in the form of the elephant guided 
by "Uncle Sam." The elephant "Silver" sustains 
and carries forward the Government in all its 
branches. In turn the Government — executive, 
legislative and judicial — is bound to silver by the 
broad and strong band of the law. Thus united we 
are carried as a people along the road of prosperity 
and the resistless power of the argentiferous dollar 
will fortify our national credit in the financial circles 
of the world. "Gold-bugs" may buzz and bluster 
and croak of evil ; national banks may flood the land 
with auguries of ill omen and even the President 
and Cabinet may weave filmy threads of sophistry 
with intent to stay the march of our favorite metal ; 
but all will prove futile. The people believe in 
silver ; it has served them well and promises still to 
be their best friend. They will stand by it ; and 
only defeat will come to those public servants who 
seek to interfere with its beneficent sway. 

The picture representing Parnell holding Parlia- 
ment tells the story of the present situation in Great 
Britain. The votes controlled by the Irish Agitator 
give him the call of legislation at the start. 
United with either Liberal or Conservative he de- 
feats the other. Tins of course has put the leaders 
to their wit's-end and deep, heavy thought how to 
thwart him is in both their minds. Gladstone deals 
in generalities, suggestions, surmises, suppositions, 
words ; all of which he reels off with light alacrity 
simply to see how they will be received by the 
country. Salisbury notes all that is said and done 
by others, suggesting nothing, however, but seriously 
considering the policy of retiring at the commence- 
ment of the session and thus letting the Liberals 
deal first with the heavy questions involved. Aji- 
other programme, however, has been broached and 
that is for enough of the Liberals and Conservatives 
to unite in some mild measure of relief for Ireland 
and thus stave off definite action on the Home Rule 
programme. With this complication of affairs the 
question of our picture, " Will he be able to hold 
it 1 " becomes quite pertinent. 

Our title-page deals with the game of "hide-and- 
seek " that is taking place in the courts of this State 
between two well-known members of the bar. Judge 
Terry is engaged in a determined purpose to take 
Mr. Kowalsky from this city to be tried for libel in 
San Joaquin county. For this purpose he secures 
warrants from a justice of the peace in that county, 



and thus armed conies to this city and arrests his 
enemy. The latter in turn appeals to our local 
courts and through the aid of habeas corpus secures 
release. Thus the game goes on, one man fighting 
with warrants of arrest, the other defending with 
writs of release. Our artist has depicted the strategic 
warriors as the position now is. Its denouement we 
may have to detail in a future issue. 



THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY. 



AN EDUCATED TROUT. 



Superintendent Keating of the Alms House has a 
picturesque trout-pond in the rear of the building, 
which he stocked some twelve years ago, and where 
consequently many of the trout have now attained 
a large size. This pond is one of the places which 
Mr. Keating likes to exhibit to visitors and allow 
them to try their skill at angling. It is a remarkable 
fact, however, that although the fishing-rod may be 
passed around to half a dozen and all have seem- 
ingly an equal chance to hook a fish, Mr. Keating is 
the only one who ever succeeds in landing a trout. 
The explanation of this is a curious illustration of 
the wonderful intelligence of this prince of all fresh- 
water fish. 

Nine years ago Mr. Keating placed in this pond 
an Eastern trout marked in a peculiar fashion. A 
few months afterward, whenever Mr. Keating vis- 
ited the pond, he remarked that this particular fish 
would rise to the surface and feed from his hand. 
He named the trout "Tom Collins," and had a 
signal, splashing the water three or four times in 
succession with the palm of his hand, wlvich invari- 
ably brought Collins from any part of the pond he 
happened to be in. While from day to day the 
other fish were captured Tom Collins was of course 
too shrewd to take any line, but would play about 
his master's hook to the intense excitement of the 
spectators. Collins now weighs six pounds and is a 
magnificent specimen of the Eastern trout. When 
Mr. Keating is fishing Tom withdraws to a shady 
portion of the pool and evidently has no objection 
to any of liis companions falling a prey to the hook, 
but when the rod is transferred to a stranger, Collins 
keeps away all the other fish from the line and 
nearly drives the anxious angler crazy by feigning 
to swallow the bait. The result is of course that no 
one but Mr. Keating can take any fish from that 
pond, and no one will while the intelligent and 
earnest Collins survives. Professor Kxizzlebach, the 
great ichthyologist of the University of Leyden, who 
visited this coast some months ago, declared that 
Mr. K eating's trout is the most remarkable instance 
of intelligence of fishes that has ever come under 
his notice. 



THE RELIABLE LAWYER. 



In his office sat a lawyer, 

When a customer came in. 
Whom he greeted with a glad and 
Most enthusiastic grin. 
' ' Can I hire you, " said the comer, 

" In my case against Bill White? " 
" Surely," said the able lawyer, 
" I will get liim dead to right ; 
He is but a swindling villain 

And 111 bring him to his knees ; 
You're a gentleman, dear Johnson, 
Pay a hundred dollars, please." 
Johnson went, another entered 
With appearance of affright. 
" Say," he said, "can I engage you V 
I am known as William White ; 
I have sued Elias Johnson, 

And I want to do him up." 
" I," replied the able lawyer, 

" Have a grudge against the pup. 
So if you will pay two hundred 

I will see the matter through, 
And I'll guarantee to roast him 
And to win the case for you. " 

— St. Louis Whip. 



Meeting Jim Webster, Uncle Mose could not help 
being astonished at the magnificent pants of Jim. 

" Dat's a mighty fine pair ob pants for sich a pore 
niggah as you am to be a wearin'." 

"Yes, dey's gorgus, an' no mistake." 

" How much mout dey cost yer an' whar did yer 
git 'em 'l " 

"Dey mout cost me two years in de penitenshiery 
ef I tole. " — Texas Siftvtigs. 

Fredericksburg Kheingold now on draught. Don't fail 
to try it, 



J. 

Jews-harp, n. An unmusical instrument, played 
by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to 
brush it away with the finger. So called from 
the impossibility of a Jew playing it without a 
new deal in noses. 

Jockey, n. A person whose business it is to ride 
and throw races. 

JosS-STICKSj ft. Small sticks burned by the Chinese 
in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of cer- 
tain sacred rites of our holy religion. 

Jove, n. A mythical being whom the Greeks and 
Romans ridiculously supposed to be the su- 
preme ruler of the universe — unacquainted as 
they were with our holy religion. 

Joy, n. An emotion variously excited, but in its 
highest degree arising from the contemplation 
of grief in another. 

Judge, n. A person who is always interfering in 
disputes in which he has no personal interest. 
An official whose functions, as a great legal 
luminary recently informed a body of local law- 
students, very closely resemble those of God. 
The latter, however, is not afraid to punish 
Chris. Buckley for contempt, and the former 
has attained no great distinction as the hero of 
popular oaths. 

Jurisprudence, n. The kind of prudence that 
keeps one inside the law. 

Jury, n. A number of persons appointed by a 
court to assist the attorneys in preventing law 
from degenerating into justice. 

Against all law and evidence, 
The prisoner was acquitted. 

The judge exclaimed ; "Is common sense 
To jurors not permitted ? " 

The prisoner's counsel rose and bowed : 

" Your Honor, why this fury? 
By law the judge is not allowed 
To sit upon the jury." 

Justice, n. A commodity which in a more or leBS 
adulterated condition the State sells to the citi- 
zen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and 
personal service. 

Jute, n. A plant grown in India, the fruit of which 
supplies a nutritious diet to the directors of our 
State prison. 

K. 

K is a consonant which we get from the Greeks, 
but it can be traced away back beyond them to the 
Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting 
the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was 
called Klatchj which means "destroyed." The form 
of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, 
but the learned and ingenious Dr. Schnedeker ex- 
plains that it was altered to its present shape to 
commemorate the destruction of the great temple 
of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 B. C. This 
building was famous for the two lofty columns of its 
portico, one of which was broken in half by the 
catastrophe, the other remained standing. As the 
original form of the letter is supposed to have been 
suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the 
great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple 
and natural— not to say touching— means of keeping 
the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not 
known if the name of the letter was altered as an 
additional mnemonic, or if the name was always 
Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. 
As each theory seems probable enough, we see no 
objection to believing both— and Dr. Bartlett of the 
Bulletin has, we understand, arrayed himself on that 
side of the question. 

Kangaroo, ft. An unconventional kind of animal 
which in shape is farther than any other from 
being the square of its base. It is assisted in 
jumping by its tail (which makes very good 
soup; and when it has happened to alight on 
the surprised Australian it is usually observable 
that his skin is unbuttoned from the neck 
downward and he carries his bowels in his arms. 



Keep, v. t. 



He willed away his whole estate, 

And then in death he fell asleep, 
-Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, 

My name unblemished I shall keep. " 
But when 'twas cut upon the marble 
Heaven rest his^spirit,! what a garble ! 



THE WASP. 



TheWasrp 



VOLUME XVI. 



WHOLE NUMBER, 493. 



SATURDAY, ----- JANUARY 9, 1886. 

PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT 538 CALIFORNIA ST. BY 

THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 



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[Entered at the Postoffice at San Francisco for transmission 
at second class rates.] 



No questionable advertisements will be inserted in this 
journal on any terms. 



The growth of San Francisco's population is 
phenomenal. Time was when a new face on Kearny 
or Montgomery street was easily singled out from 
the familiar stream that ebbed and flowed along 
those thoroughfares. Not so any more. Now the 
old Californian finds that he is the stranger, com- 
pletely absorbed in the new personalities and himself 
a man of the past. Not many years ago to mention 
the characteristic of some prominent man was to 
have it recognized by eight-tenths of the population. 
Now all that sort of badinage falls flat, and because 
the individual who was known to the old town is a 
stranger to the new and the new is climbing up to 
a majority. It is so in the clubs, in the restaurants, 
in the theaters, in every place frequented by the 
general public. A decade ago a man-about- town, 
entering a place of amusement, was sure to know 
three-fourths of the audience. Now he picks out a 
scattering here and there, and wonders that the 
others are unknown to him and whether a delegation 
from Boston or New York has not taken possession 
of the theater. The lavishness which was the dis- 
tinguishing trait of early California life has likewise 
disappeared. Men wait for their nickel change who 
were wont to scorn a dime and actually apologize for 
the presence of small change, ignominiously termed 
"chicken- feed," and look about for a beggar upon 
whom to bestow the annoying incumbrance. A 
glance at the passenger-lists in the daily papers 
explains the change. Though some growl about 
hard times the stores are crowded daily, though we 
declare business is overdone in this city our mer- 
chants live in beautiful homes and the park is 
thronged every fine afternoon with their wives and 
daughters in handsome carriages. Perhaps the 
growth of the State is not commensurate with that 
of the city, but we are yet only in our infancy, with 
lots of room for the hundreds of thousands who are 
turning westward. 



wind-up of an evening's entertainment must be 
excluded from the present Anglo-imitation craze. 



Chief Crowley's communication to the Board of 
Supervisors commenting on the boisterous character 
of a certain class of masquerade balls in this city and 
demanding that some restriction be placed upon 
them, was a timely and judicious document. Those 
gatherings should be of a more orderly character and 
the high spirits of the crowd kept within bounds. 
The English custom of free fights, while possessing 
perhaps some attractions for noisy, ill-disposed vis- 
itors, is a serious annoyance to those who attend to 
witness a picturesque spectacle. This penchant 
of the British youth for punching his neighbor's 
head and getting punched by way of a pleasant 



The New York firqpfcic suggests that we had 
better be civil to the Chinese, as they have several 
large war-ships which might bombard San Francisco. 
The writer evidently knows nothing about our forts 
and arsenals and the galling fire to which a Chinese 
junk would be subjected from Fort Point, Fort 
Mason, Alcatraz, besides numerous breastworks 
fronting the Golden Gate. We are not afraid of a 
junk, but if an iron-clad were to make lis a visit 
with the intention of dropping a few heavy souvenirs 
of her hostile purpose, we would not brag about our 
harbor defenses. Then we should probably send out 
the Geiieral McPherson with a flag of truce to make 
terms. 



At no period in the history of the many anti- 
Chinese movements of this State have the efforts to 
replace Chinese with white labor looked so promising 
as at the present year. The cigar-makers have 
scored a big victory, but it now remains with the 
people to support them by boycotting the Chinese- 
made article and bestowing all their patronage on 
the white laborer. The shoemakers, stimulated by 
the success of their brother artisans, have fallen into 
line and will use all their energies to crowd the 
Chinese workmen out of the city. But as in the case 
of the cigar-makers, unless they have not alone the 
sympathy but the cooperation of the community, 
this vigorous and now promising movement will be 
of no avail. 



When the Hawaiian Legislature meets next spring 
it is not unlikely that the subject of taking some 
steps for the proper reception of California defaulters 
will come before that honorable body. The relation 
that Canada bears toward the East is identical with 
our relations toward those convenient islands. The 
intelligent defaulter nowadays has no difficulty in 
tripping over the gang-plank of the Honolulu steamer 
and amid the tropical delights of Kalakaua's kingdom 
forgetting the annoyances of forged checks, hypoth- 
ecated accounts and dismayed bondsmen. He can 
mingle with the upper-crust of Hawaiian society 
for weeks before the next steamer brings the news 
of his crimes, and then nobody in Honolulu is aston- 
ished because ever prepared to hear of something 
wrong in connection with those sudden visitations 
of San Francisco officials. The object, however, of 
special legislation for San Francisco defaulters would 
be for the protection of Hawaiian officers from cor- 
ruption at the hands of our California experts. On 
the south side of the island of Oahu are large tracts, 
sparsely populated, where a colony of those gentlemen 
might be established and the knowledge acquired of 
raising Cain here be utilized by the cultivation of the 
more profitable sugar-cane of the country. 



It does look as if Mr. Cleveland made about the 
poorest of all his selections in the appointment of 
Governor Zulick. A politician of even ordinary 
political sense will proceed carefully on the assump- 
tion of new duties and feel his way before the 
peremptory exercise of a new prerogative. But this 
rash official was scarcely warm in his seat before he 
antagonized the people of the territory, made himself 
the laughing-stock of the West and put the President 
in a disagreeable predicament. This following closely 
on Cleveland's rash arraignment of the newspapers 
for a statement for which Zulick is solely responsible, 
must lead the President to heartily wish that C. 
Meyer Zulick had never come out to the West, but 
had been given some light, easy, irresponsible job 
about one of the departments at Washington. 



The United States Minister to Persia, Mr. Winston 



of Illinois, has been appointed a Brigadier- General 
of the militia of that State, not for the purpose of 
leading his men to glory, but for the sake of the 
uniform. Minister Winston believes in a uniform 
and feared that the plain black coat of every-day life 
would not find favor in the eyes of the Shah. When 
he appears at court in all the gay splendor of the 
Illinois militia he will be an object of interest to 
the Persian warrior, and if he has a lively imagina- 
tion he can fight the important battles of the Union 
over again and make a big reputation for himself in 
Teheran. Then the gaudy fixings of militia com- 
missions will be an additional plume in his helm. 
Not long since one of our California militia colonels 
when in England visited a grand review in Hyde 
Park. Amid the marching and countermarching 
our colonel found himself wedged in with a lot of 
staff officers. An aid-de-camp rode up and informed 
the Californian that he was in the wrong place. 
"But I am an American officer," said the colonel, 
drawing his commission from his pocket and flourish- 
ing the great seal of the State of California in the 
Britisher's face. The officer saluted the seal, begged 
the colonel's pardon and guided him to within a few 
paces of the Queen's carriage and almost within 
elbow-length of the Duke of Cumberland, the 
commander-in-chief. Those foreigners have a proper 
respect for American warriors, and Minister Winston 
displayed his shrewdness in getting to the top-notch 
at one light hand-spring. 



The troops in Arizona have succeeded in capturing 
a squaw armed with two bowie-knives and carrying 
a Government belt of cartridges. This is a beginning 
anyhow, and should inspire the harassed settlers 
with the hope that by a sort of military evolution 
the soldiers will advance from squaw to papoose, 
papoose to youth, terminating with Geronimo him- 
self. "Mary Doe," the formidable prisoner, is, we 
are told, holding daily receptions attended by most 
of the ladies of the camp, where she preserves the 
stoical demeanor and silence of her race. The ladies 
of garrisons are proverbially garrulous, and Miss 
Doe's example may have a wholesome effect upon 
them in illustrating the golden character of silence. 



The new year has brought with it a condition of 
affairs actually unprecedented in the history of this 
State — the grangers are satisfied. In past seasons, 
when a heavy frost succeeded a rain, the granger 
raised his hands to heaven and indignantly protested 
against the outrage Providence worked upon him. 
Now the countiy newspapers declare that the 
granger is perfectly satisfied with the weather, that 
the frost has corrected the effects of the great 
moisture, that plowing is a real pleasure, and that a 
magnificent harvest is assured. Such are the latest 
bulletins from the interior, but we shall still be 
much surprised if a reaction does not soon set in and 
a wail of discontent succeed the hymn of thanks- 
giving which now makes musical the air of the rural 
districts. 



It has become the fashion to poke fun at the 
Holiness association as an organization of cranks 
who might better employ the time wasted in march- 
ing through the streets and making confessions of 
moral delinquency in nasally lachrymose tones, 
in pursuing some honest industry. But the pub- 
lished report of those cranks shows the operation 
of needed and wholesome charity. They have fed 
the hungry and obtained employment for a number 
of deserving persons. These good deeds are ample 
compensation for their dru minings, fifings and gro- 
tesque proceedings. The holiness that gives bread 
to the hungry should obtain immunity from the 
scoffers. 



THE WASP. 



PRATTLE. 

Dame Bulletin is a lamp to the feet of finance, but 
in matters of pliilology she shines with the clouded 
radiance of a ham in a smoke-house — witness her 
insistance on the word " auro-metalist " to designate 
those who favor the single gold standard in the 
currency. It is a sorry mischance that so old a 
woman should have been brought to bed of such 
a dastard word as that, and makes one almost wish 
she had led a decent life. " Auru-metalist," if it 
means anything, means one who holds that gold 
is, or should be, a metal (which was Nature's view 
of the matter) but the word gives no hint of what 
metal he would have in the currency. "Auro- 
metalist," quoth'a ! You might as well attempt to 
distinguish an advocate of woman suffrage by calling 
her a she female. The validity of the Bulletinese 
objection to the word " mono-metalist " is conceded, 
but what is the matter with "goldwump" I 



In his deposition in the case of Judge Clough, 
Governor Stoneman testified that he "believed" 
himself the Governor of the State of California — 
whereat the wits have changed countenance in an 
ingenious variety of ways, uttering copious yawpage 
of derision with assumption of irreverent attitudes, 
endless. Not so fast, Messrs. Merryman, not so 
fast ; the good man has justification for his doubt. 
With Harry Dam for Executive Secretary it's a wise 
man that knows who's Governor. 



It looks as if some twenty thousand men, women 
and children in one German town might become a 
charge upon public charity : a New York clergyman 
connected with the Peace Society has gone over to 
persuade Herr Krupp to stop making cannon. It 
is reassuring to know that the world has still some 
practical philanthropists unhanged. 



A copy of the New Year's Chronicle shuuld be mailed to 
every inquiring person. — Chronicle. 
Suppose you mail one. 



A body which had been ten years underground in 
a metallic "casket" was disinterred the other day, 
in New York, and on being hoisted from the grave 
the casket exploded with great violence, wounding 
the by-standers. There is a suggestion in this for our 
local dynamiters — a particularly rich one for their 
leader, our most worthy coroner. If in this way the 
dead can be made serviceable for warfare on the living 
there's economy in it, and also it would sooth the 
last moments of many a dying patriot to know that 
his death would open up a new field for practical 
and effective work in dispelling the Mongolian horde. 



' Two dozen Chinamen went," said A, 

" When Kearney's great skull exploded.' 
Said B : "I'm surprised by what you Bay— 
I didn't know it was loaded." 



Two contusers have been arrested for trying to 
evade the anti-slogging ordinance by putting an 
apple of boxing-match into a dumpling of farce. 
That would seem to be a needless complication of the 
slogic drama, seeing that every boxing match is itself 
a farce. 



What a bad lot the modern slogger has the happi- 
ness to be, as compared with the extinct prize-fighter 
of our fathers ! That fellow was a beast from the 
ground up. He was as populous of depravities as 
an exported hog of trichinae. No virtue but courage 
had courage to be found in him. He would lie like 
a lecher and so lecher that the lie became him ; and 
had he fished in a river of whisky would have 
paunched his hook dry ere ever he got a bite. 
Racking debaucheries so sapped his carcass that he 



was an otttniate of every hospital in all the world. 
So vile were his tastes that he would sometimes pre- 
fer honesty to theft because he thought it the more 
loathsome, and by his preference he made it so. 
He was the terror, shame and reproach of civilization, 
jubilous of the distinction. But he would fight, and 
fight hard and long. He knew nothing of gate- 
money, gloves and cheated backers. Heaven send 
he may recur. This later whelpage of the rose-water 
ring sickens the age with an immedicable ailing — 
burly bravoes, pillow-fisted, with intrepid tongues, 
who, like Peter in the play, will tight if they have 
the law on their side, hurting barred. Their world's 
cliampion — the man whose ever brandishing tongue 
sets all their white livers quaking like so many bowls 
of jelly— is hero of a single fight. They have not a 
broken nose among them — not a nose. 



which he enjoyed. Canopy me with the noses of 
Supreme Court justices and I'll steal their boots 
from their feet. 



Some of the newspapers are choking with rage 
because President Cleveland avers there never was a 
time when newspaper lying was so general and so 
mean as at present, nor a country under the sun 
where it flourished as in this. Their denunciations, 
it appears to me, are a trifle liasty and not altogether 
intelligent : I do not understand Mr. Cleveland to 
say that it is wrong. 



A San Francisco correspondent of the Lockport, 
N. Y., Union professes to have seen in this city (it 
was necessary to the story wherewith his mind was 
charged) "a very beautiful piece of statuary, repre- 
senting David and Goliah just as the former threw 
the fatal stone." Why, here's a noble "group," 
truly — David, I suppose, at one end of the gallery, 
Goliah at the other ; for if both are incumbents of 
one pedestal the sculptor must have assumed that 
David wielded, not a sling, but a sling-shot. What 
a fine study in composition this would be : the 
President of the United States and the Queen of 
Great Britain telegraphing mutual congratulations 
on the successful laying of the first Atlantic cable. 



I would give the prettiest thing in my possession 
to understand the mind and motive of a man who is 
willing or desirous to be one of six thousand to form 
line and shake hands with the President. It seems 
to me tliat such a man must necessarily be a vulga- 
rian, a servile creature and an idiot. This may be 
an error in the thought ; in the utterance it would 
be obviously unfair — condemnation of one who has 
done nothing wrong and whose motive I have con- 
fessed myself unable to understand. Surely there 
can be no personal gratification in shaking hands 
with one who regards it as a hardship to have to 
shake hands with you ; one would suppose it would 
be felt as a keen humiliation. If it is meant to 
testify respect and allegiance it lacks the essential 
value of that act ; for he who affirms being unknown 
to him to whom the affirmation is made, the assur- 
ance has no more meaning and validity than if 
conveyed in an anonymous letter. If some person 
who has performed the rite will intelligently analyze 
his motive and have the goodness to expound it to 
me I shall be greatly obliged to him for assisting me 
to learn what I frankly confess is the only thing 
I do not already know. 



The Santa Barbara Independent wants all the 
Apaches put on an island. That is a good scheme, 
worthy neighbor :, they could support themselves by 
fishing, and as the soldiers guarding them could not 
escape there would be no lack of bait. 



Mr. J. W. McCarthy, Clerk of the Supreme 
Court, is like the Indian's exploded stove in Mark 
Twain's yarn — "heap gone"; but at the time of 
writing it is not known that he is accompanied by 
any public money. It is natural to think so, though, 
from the immunity from detection and punishment 



General Pope, I observe, denies that he ever 
"published an order or wrote a letter or made a 
remark" that his "headquarters would be in the 
saddle." As the denial season with regard to war 
matters is now at its height, it is right that the 
General should have his fling; but as it does not 
follow that because a man is a distinguished soldier 
or civilian that his word is to be accepted without 
question I wish the story which once set a dozen 
armies ablaze with inextinguishable laughter would 
take steps to vindicate itself. My own recollection 
is that General Pope did issue an order to the Army 
of the Potomac, which was dated Headquarters in 
the Saddle, and that this order stated, in effect, that 
the re'gime of retreat was at an end. It is certain 
that I saw what purported to be a copy of such an 
order, as I presume nearly every staff officer in the 
Army of the Cumberland did ; and I never heard 
until now of its genuineness being called in question, 
and I certainly heard the matter discussed dozens 
of times at as many headquarters. By old West 
Pointers, too, although General Pope guides us to 
the inference that the story is an old West Point 
joke applied to him. If the records do not show 
such an order, and if nobody comes forward with 
proof that it was issued, the validity of General 
Pope's memory must, of course, be conceded and 
himself held to be a singularly patient victim of a 
most irritating because most ridiculous slander. 



Concerning the credibility of distinguished men 
(and this has no reference to General Pope, whose 
article containing his denial I have not read) I 
should like to say that of all the Century's " war- 
papers " relating to matters of which I had personal 
knowledge by "eyesight and earsight," hardly one 
has been free from lying. I don't mean error, but 
straightforth, methodical, hardy and impenitent 
falsehood aforethought. Instances 1 Excuse me ; 
tins is not the kind of world in which I am hot to 
put my word against that of any man who has com- 
manded armies. Make me a major-general if you 
want the facts. 



Because in his latest novel Mr. Bret Harte makes 
the wife of a gentleman fall in love with an interest- 
ing young invalid under her care, who happens to bo 
a robber, a local critic accuses the author of "in- 
sulting all American women," and is pleased to 
observe that ' ' foreign residence has not improved 
his morals." O come, now, sonny, Harte doesn't 
say he approves it. He doesn't say "all American 
women " are that way, and if he did the question 
raised would, I take it, concern their morals rather 
than his own. Really, I wonder how Tennyson's 
personal morals ever escaped this exacting censor's 
lash, considering how that Guinevere, who certainly 
was the wife of a rather fine fellow, sloped off with 
Launcelot, who was not. What an insult to all 
English women ! And then there is that depraved 
Shakespeare, with his Gertrude, that "most seeming- 
virtuous queen," Hamlet's mother ; and that abom- 
inable old rake Homer, and the other Grecian 
scoundrels, who insulted all the women of the world 
by relating certain domestic infelicities in the fam- 
ilies of Menelaus and Agamemnon. In short, there 
is pretty nearly the whole corrupt body of famous 
poets and writers of fiction — to say nothing of the 
wicked reporters who told us something insulting to 
womanhood, the other day, about a wife and a letter- 
carrier. How now 1 — how say you, Sir Critic ? 
Think ye that your stupidity, like the secret of 
Midas' ears, can be spoken in a pit and the listening 
reeds not blare it abroad ? Have a care, lad, have, a 
care, or I'll quote all you print ! 



THE WASP. 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



HUMANINE. 

He was tall and consumptive-looking and was 
decorated with a stubby beard and an ulster of the 
'67 Registered series. The editor put him up for a 
crank even before he crowded round to a seat on 
the window-sill, lowered his voice to a whisper, and 
began the grand confidential act. 

"You're on to this fellow, Pasteur, ain't you?" 
he asked in there's- a-burglar-in-the- kitchen tone. 

" The French scientist ? " snapped the quill driver, 
moving the tobacco box and some circus dead-heads 
out of reach. 

"Exactly. You know that he inoculates people 
for hydrophobia? It's a great discovery, but he 
doesn't go far enough. The fact is that the human 
being can be vaccinated for anything. That's my 
discovery. How does it strike you ? " 

"I'm too busy to strike," said the journalist, 
snapping his watch. 

"Yes, sir, for anything. Not only diseases but 
for emotions, traits of character and purely mental 
results. You take the lymph of a murderer, for 
illustration, and introduce it into the blood of — of, 
well, say Bishop Kip, for instance. Well, the 
Bishop would get an ax or something and hack 
somebody up before night." 

"Would, eh?" 

"As sure as shootin'. And the reverse would be 
the case. Take a sneak thief and let liim absorb 
about half-a-grain of Moody's virus, and you'd have 
the rascal carrying a flag in the Salvation Army in 
less time than you could say Jack Robinson." 

"Don't say? " 

"My idea," pursued the inventor, "is to eradi- 
cate all the bad traits of men by grafting them, so 
to speak, with good ones from their neighbors. You 
get on to a man's objectionable characteristics and 
apply the antidote from some differently constituted 
individual. Now there's — there's Nick Luning, for 
instance — a reckless spendthrift, throws money 
away like water, big hearted, charitable. Just in- 
oculate him with a little of the virus — I call it 
Humanine — from, say, Leland Stanford, and he at 
once becomes penurious, grasping, and so keeps out 
of the poor-house." 

"Think so?" 

"There's Governor Stoneman. You know what 
a brilliant, brainy statesman he is. Just cross him, 
as it were, with some sleepy no-account man like 
James G. Blaine, and it would stave off the brain 
fever for another year." 

"Would, eh?" 

1 ' Take what's-his-name — the Coroner — O'Don- 
nell. He's a timid, modest, retiring sort of a fellow. 
Blend his circulation with that of a howling dema- 
gogue like Senator Miller, and there you are. " 

"Great scheme, that." 

"Look at your own profession now. There's 
Frank Pixley, never has a word to say, no opinion 
of himself. Brace him up with the lymph of an ac- 
complished writer like old man Pickering and he 
looms right up into the scenery." 

"I see." 

"Then there's Bill Nye, too. Gloomy, despond- 
ent, can't-take-a-joke sort of old sobersides. Mix 
him up a little, figuratively speaking, with a spark- 
ling humorist like Harry McDowell or Marcus 
Boruck and he amounts to something, eh ? I tell 
you, Mr. Newspaper Man, I've experimented in 
every direction and I've got the thing down fine." 

' ' Ever inoculate yourself with a book agent or a 
setter dog? " asked the editor wearily. 

"No; but I can see what is the trouble with 
you," replied the Humanine scientist, extracting a 
small box from his vest. " You are const itution ally 
irritable and uncharitable. I have here a little of 
the combined essence, as it were, of George Peabody 
and James Lick. Just roll up your sleeve for a 
minute and I'll " 

"Wait a second!" interrupted the quill driver, 
as he coughed in a peculiar manner, and the foreman 
and three journeymen, armed with raaking-up irons, 
rushed in. 

The only means of identifying the unfortunate 
man are the initials I. S. worked on the tag of his 
shirt. Relatives of the deceased are requested to 
call and take away the remains as early as conven- 
ient. 



The editor of the Visalia Chronicle being away 
from that bustling metropolis last week, three 
tramps entered his dwelling and assaulted his wife 
with a hoe handle. After a desperate struggle the 
woman managed to escape by locking herself up in 



the cellar. We advise our esteemed contemporary 
to apply for a divorce at once. An editor's wife 
who would thus deprive her husband's paper of a 
first-class and exclusive robbery and murder item is 
no honor to the profession. There are a great deal 
fewer good murder cases nowadays than there are 
wives, as we all know. Lock herself up, indeed ! 



LOCOMOTION OF INANIMATE 
THINGS. 



A dramatic company at Pittsburg was kicked clear 
off the stage the other night by a performing donkey 
introduced into the piece. The dramatic critics 
there are forming a society for mutual protection. 



"Is this Mrs. Jones' milk?" inquired a young 
wife of her husband at the breakfast table. 

" I guess not," replied the horrid creature; "I 
think she keeps several cows." 



A postoftice has been authorized at Gageville on 
the S. P. As soon as the postoffice building is com- 
pleted the rest of the town will be built. 



Some crank shot at Salvini, near Salt Lake, the 
other day, and now the members of the Bella Union 
are marching up and down Kearny street wearing 
chain armor. 



An opera tenor in New York has adopted a new 
and startling method of advertising himself. He 
pays his bills. 



A small child was found last Wednesday smoth- 
ered in the mud of an overflowed sewer at North 
Beach. As it was neither the child of Mayor Bart- 
lett or the Street Superintendent- the case excites 
much sympathy. 



How about the Preller- Maxwell case ? We 
haven't heard of the accused lecturing in any part 
of the country up to date. Can it be that this 
liighly respectable murderer hasn't been acquitted 
yet. 



Absconder McCarthy is said to have been "a 
prominent member of an amateur dramatic society." 
Thus we see how one false step leads to another. 

He was to have played Hamlet next month, and 
vigorous steps are now being taken to prevent his 
recapture. Derrick Dodd. 



"Rose," said the President, lifting Ms feet upon 
the window-sill and resting the third button of his 
waistcoat on his instep, "I see a statement in this 
newspaper that you made a good deal of money out 
of your book. Now, Rose — honest-— how much did 
you make?" "Exactly §7,321.10," replied the 
lettered virgin, consulting her tablets. "Well," 
said the Great Incumbent, reflectively, "that is a 
good deal of money, certainly. You are a talented 
girl. Rose, and I am proud of you. It was a great 
book. Of course," he continued after a pause, 
" some of its success was due to — to — h'm — to your 
exalted position— some of it, you understand. We 
may call that part the 'unearned increment,' as it 
were, eh?" "Yes, Stephen Grover, I think we 
may, if you like, " the First Young Lady of the Land 
assented, somewhat uneasily, it seemed. "Well," 
continued the Grandmother of His Country, "I've 
been thinking, Rose, that as this is the season of 
charity, and — and all that — we might very properly 
give that portion to the poor. Somebody is getting 
up an Office-seekers' Home, and " "I under- 
stand, Stephen, 1 understand," she interrupted, in 
her impulsive way ; " about how much do you think 
I ought to give ? " " It's hard to compute, exactly, 
my child ; if Daniel were here he might be able to 
figure it out" — and again the Jumbo of Politics 
reflected. "I guess, Rose, you might keep the ten 
cents. " 

Oregon has a new journal called The Popular 
Pulse. The following titles are extensions of the 
same lode and anybody may locate them who wants 
to : Tlie Symptom ; The Bloicn Straw, or, Tlie Wet 
Finger; The Jumping Cat; The Coated Tongue. 
Those subjoined are a trifle less significant, but all 
are good; The Intelligent Masses; The Eloquent 
Advocate; T)ie Po-litical Ho-rizon; Hie Ship of 
State; The Blotless Record, or, The Lnstained Es- 
cutcheon; The HalU of Legislation; The RupeH of 
Debate ; The Speaker's Eye ; Tiie Far-seeing States- 
man; TJie Infamous Falsehood; Hie Hurled-bach 
A llegation. 

BUFFET. 
A new lot just in. In mahogany, ash, primavera, walnut 
and ebony. Call and see them, at the warerooms of the 
California Furniture Company, 220 to 226 Bush street. 



Most of the annoyances with which people are 
obliged to contend originate with inanimate objects. 
A collar button which drops from its place on a cold 
morning, while a man is putting on his shirt, will 
rebound and land thirty feet from the spot where it 
originally fell. It invariably seeks the furtherest 
corner of the room, or sneaks into some hole, only 
to be found two or three weeks after it has been 
given up and forgotten. 

Boot-jacks, hatchets, hammers and screw-drivers 
are the meanest of all utensils. They wander away 
to the houses of the neighbors, and the instant they 
chance to be left to themselves, slip off and hide 
some where, to escape work. A hammer had rather 
lie in the bottom of a well ten years than do a day's 
honest work driving nails. It is astonishing how a 
a step-ladder will walk off in the night and remain 
away from home for weeks and weeks just at the 
time when it is wanted the most. The worst case 
of rapid transit is the pocket-knife. The old one- 
bladed jack-knife is not much of an excursionist, 
but the ivory-handled chap with four blades loves 
rapid changes of scenery and climate. He is a 
tourist of the first-class, and is continually seeking 
new masters. In the spring the umbrellas are very 
active, especially the new silk variety. Sometimes 
they will follow a perfect stranger out of a hallway 
in the dead of night and never come back to the old 
home again. The vigor of youth is in their bones, 
and they skip about from house to house and city to 
city, but when they get old and worn out seem to 
prefer to settle down in some quiet place, and pass 
their old age in peace. Buggy whips and carriage 
robes are lively fugitives and wander off to parts 
unknown, only to renew their pilgrimage to new 
localities. Lead pencils travel like the wind when- 
ever they have the slightest chance to slope. The 
most perverse of all vagrants are books. No matter 
how carefully they are provided for at home and 
how comfortable are their accommodations, they 
will without a moment's notice forsake old associates 
and cling to new acquaintances. When once a book 
gets out of the house, no amount of coaxing or per- 
suasion will ever induce it to return. No roof so 
hospitable or home so happy that a book once out 
of doors will ever return to. Its new master may 
bang it about day or night, read it at will and pull 
it to pieces, yet it will stay there contented. All 
these traits we have dwelt upon arise from pure 
cussedness of will and disposition, and can in no 
way be corrected or eradicated. — Sam Davis. 



The holiday number of the Alia was a new de- 
parture among dailies in that it dealt in lithographic 
art. But the brightest line in its picturesque delin- 
eation was far less graceful than the clever generosity 
with which it bore testimony to the merit of its 
contemporaries. This was an innovation upon San 
Francisco journalists' methods. It was devoid of 
envy and hence was remarkable. It abjured jeal- 
ousy and therefore was a novelty. Large-mind edness 
was its motor and in consequence it struck our peo- 
ple with surprise. The idea that one newspaper 
management could admit an excellence in its rival 
was something that the public here had never heard 
of. Such decency of professional action is an exotic. 
The amenities of social life find no place among 
journalists in this city. You could lay a hen's-egg 
in the cavity where brotherly love should rise. A 
number-six hat will cover their craniums, but they 
swing seven-league boots in kicking. To hate is 
christian and to revile is the orthodox faith. Small- 
ness of mind goes with bigness of blow. The great I 
and little u keep each other company the year round, 
and of such is the kingcraft of journalism. 



In every life there comes a time when the springs 
of joy dry up, when the days drag wearily by and 
the nights are one long season of sleepless gloom ; 
but nothing in calamity can so poison the nectar of 
life and rob the sun of its warmth as being out in 
the woods on a cold day with a pocket full of cigars 
and no matches. — National Weekly. 

"Mother," said a little Rockland girl, looking up 
from her book, " what does transatlantic mean ? " 
■ "Oh, across the Atlantic, of course. Don't bother 
me — you made me forget my count." 

" Does trans always mean across i " 

" I suppose it does. If you don't stop bothering 
me with your questions you'll go to bed." 

" Then does transparent mean a cross parent ? " 

Ten minutes later she was resting in her little 
couch. — Rockland Courier-Gazette. 



THE WASP. 



THE FUNNY MAN. 

The fmiuy DUD entered the office door 

With a face of woful tdoom, 
And the chore-hoy his cheery whUtle ceased 

As he flourished bis stub-end broom. 

The witty reporter stopped the tale 

He had just begun to tell ; 
Tlie laugh wafl hushed, and on every face 

A funeral Badness fell. 

The office-cat to a corner fled, 
Where she sat and blinked and blinked, 

Till it seemed as though she would drop a tear 
With every wink she winked. 

The very sunbeam that struggled in 

Through the smoky and dirty pane 
With the gloom profound of the funny man's look 

Seemed only to strive in vain. 

So the funny man sat down to his desk 

And heaved a heavy sigh, 
Then to scribble down his column of.jokes 

He straightway began to try. 

As he wrote some lines on the roller-skate 

He made a weary moan, 
And his face as he wrote of the plumber's bill 

Would have touched a heart of Btone. 

And the pensive sorrow of his face 

Was tinged with solemn awe 
As he jotted down an item brief 

About the mother-in-law. 

But a deeper sadness wore his face, 

A sadder ne'er was seen, 
As he wrote of the careless servant-girl 

That was hoist with kerosene. 

Nor did his look of pain relax 

Through all the weary time 
That he scribbled down with a pencil swift 

All his jokes in prose and rhyme* 

On the girl and her beau at the front-yard gate 

And the foot of her big papa 
Who savagely kicked the flying dude 

Then fiendishly laughed, Ha ! ha ! 

Also on the festival oyster-stew, 

And the beans of Boston town, 
The young wife's cake, boarding-house hash 

And sandwich flinty and brown. 

At last the funny man's task was done 

And he sadly turned to go, 
But he gazed around ere he closed the door 

With a glance of hopeless woe. 

Then merry laugh and jest went round, 

The lad grew saucy and bold, 
And the cat began to gambol and play 

Like a kitten six weeks old ; 

While into the dingy office broke 

A sudden biuret of sun, 
As the editor came in and asked : 

Is that column of chestnuts done ? 



ORATORS. 



The soil of California is famous for fertility ; the 
climate is the wonder and delight of visitors from 
the Atlantic ; gold, wheat and wine have attracted the 
eyes of distant nations to us ; upon these themes 
the outside world lias been feasted to repletion. 

There is a topic with a varied list of subjects that 
has been too long neglected. We have a galaxy of 
native-born orators. Men who were born great, or 
have achieved greatness, or failing either of these 
standards, have greatness thrust upon them. 

At the head of the list stands Frank J. Sullivan. 
He comeB of a race of orators. The blood of nine 
generations of eloquent forefathers runs in his veins. 
He was born under the shadow of the Sierra Madre 
mountains, and in his cradle showed that he imbibed 
the rugged grandeur of his native hills by the wild 
and piercing shrieks that came from his infant throat 
when his nurse used to run out and chase the squir- 
rels from the back yard. At school he was the 
bright particular star of his class ; his recitations 
attracted visitors from far and near to the closing 
exercises. But his grandest triumphs were won at 
Santa Clara College, -where several panes of glass 
were shattered in the lecture-room when he thun- 
dered forth in mighty tones his oration upon "The 



Dead Coyote." In an evil hour he became a poli- 
tician ana tost perhaps forever his grand opportunity 
bo become one ol the immortals. 

Ed. Newhall is another prodigy In eloquence. 
His preeminence in the art is all acquired ; nature 
has done nothing for him. In the face of difficulties 
that might have discouraged half a score of men less j 
brave he has made a name for himself that must last ; 
until it is forgotten. He is no orator of moods and 
tenses, yesterday brilliant and captivating, to-day 
dreary to dullness. Mis inspiration conies upon him 
twice a week ; every Tuesday and Friday he holds 
a Bpell-bound audience entranced. At the heads of 
the same people week after week he tires off his 
rounded periods and they never complain against 
him for lack of originality. That he is an effective 
speaker but a single illustration will prove. Last 
Friday he sold to an itinerant peddler a dozen pair 
of children's shoes for one seventy-two and a-half. 
While the "bidding" was in progress Ed. appealed 
so touclungly to his audience upon the theme of 
baby's shoes that tliree tender-footed peddlers pres- 
ent wept briny tears and in their excitement raised 
the price of the goods one bit a dozen. 

Webster Jones is the orator of polite society. He 
rarely speaks in public now, but at Harvard Jie was 
known as " Daniel " — the only living Daniel of the 
great republic. He was born in the year that 
America's greatest statesman died, and the hopes of 
the country were centered upon him in childhood 
and youth to stop the gap made by the death of his 
illustrious namesake. He has a lovely speaking 
voice, and the graceful movements of Cicero when 
addressing an audience. But alas ! he is only a 
drawing-room speaker ; there he always shines with 
borrowed luster— gems from Pope, pearls that Ju- 
venal let fall, the polished sentences of Dry den, the 
logic of Plato, with snatches of Virgil's heroic verse. 
Like many other captivating speakers Webster un- 
consciously makes the thoughts of others his own to 
the delight and amusement of the leaders of fashion- 
able society. Once, when he appeared at the court 
of Kalakaua, the king was so delighted with his 
oratory that he offered to beknight the charming 
young San Franciscan on condition that he would 
remain forever in the Hawaiian kingdom. To his 
infinite regret the honor was not accepted. 

Charles J. Hanlon is built after the model of 
^Eschines and Demosthenes, who swayed the Athe- 
nian crowds twenty-two hundred years ago. Tall, 
handsome, nervous, with a ringing voice, clear as a 
silver bell, a hundred times his fiery harangues have 
made a multitude of men as unbending of purpose 
as granite blocks ; upon another hundred he has 
made a crowd of stern-faced listeners as pliable as 
wax in a hot palm. He practices his art for pure 
love of it ; no one can prove that he forwards his 
own ends in his devotion to the ambition of his life. 
He is a man with a great future. In the stirring 
times that are coming Hanlon must rouse the nation 
to resist the advances of hordes of demagogues. His 
appeals will be to the educated, refined and rich to 
take up arms and slay the insolent, ignorant and 
unwashed multitude who may trespass upon the fair 
domain of the righteous few. Social prophets pro- 
claim that the conflict is coming ; the son of a 
prophet proclaims Hanlon to be the coming man. 
What Demosthenes was to the Athenians, Rienzi to 
the Romans, Mirabeau to the Parisians, Hanlon 
may prove to be combined for the Californians. The 
mark of destiny is on his brain and whoever fails to 
read it proves that he is no judge of signs. 

There is another Charley equally eloquent, but 
intensely modest ; he is the son of Josselyn. A 
youthful Falstaff, beloved by great men, had we 
princes amongst us Charley would be their boon 
companion. Failing to find men. of royal blood, he 
seeks out those who wear regal robes for a few short 
hours and strut across the stage clothed in purple 
and ermine. The Hamlets, Dauphins, Edgars and 
Malcolms of the sock and buskin owe half of the 
happiness and none of the honor of their lives to 
their warmest supporter. The genial Charley of 
Josselyn fame, when he dies, which may the gods 
delay, the stage and the world will lose many new 
readings of the old plays. For he has bound his 
friends by a solemn oath never to repeat the exquis- 
ite meanings he has put upon the most difficult 
passages in Romeo and Juliet, Imogen, As You Like 
It, and the Midsummer Night's Dream. McKee 
Rankin would give half the house if Charley would 
only read for him the sentence : "A lion among 
ladies is most dreadful thing ; for there, is not a 
more fearful wild fowl than your lion living." 

" He handled his gun carelessly and put on his 
angel plumage," is the latest obituary from Arkansas. 



A "MADMAN'S" LEGACY. 



" Sire ! " exclaimed a man in the homely garb of 
a mechanic to Richelieu, Prime Minister of France, 
as he was entering his palace ; "Sire, I have made a 
discovery which shall make rich and great the nation 
which sliall develop it. Sire, will you give me an 
audience I " 

Richelieu, constantly importuned, finally ordered 
the "madman" imprisoned. Even in jail he did 
not desist from declaring his " delusion," which one 
day attracted the attention of a British nobleman, 
who heard De Cause's story, and developed his dis- 
covery of Bteam power ! 

Ail great discoveries are at first derided. 

Seven years ago a man yet under middle age, en- 
riched by a business which covered the continent, 
found himself suddenly stricken down. When his 
physicians said recovery was impossible, he used a 
new discovery which, like all advances in science, 
had been opposed bitterly by the schoolmen. Never- 
theless, it cured liim, and out of gratitude therefor, 
he consecrated a part of his wealth to the spreading 
of its merits before the world. Such, in brief, is the 
history of Warner's Safe Cure, which has won, ac- 
cording to the testimony of eminent persons, the 
most deserved reputation ever accorded to any 
known compound, and which is finally winning on 
its merits alone the approval of the most conserva- 
tive practitioners. Its fame now belts the globe. — 
Hie Herald. 

A NEW YEAR SONG. 



I always swear on the glad New Year, 
As I crawl from my lonely bunk, 

That I never will take a drink again, 
And then I go and get drunk, 

I always record a hundred vows, 

From which I shall never fall, 
I write them down on glittering page, 

And then I forget them all. 

I always swear that 111 treat my wife, 

In the most endearing way, 
And then I make her carry the coal 

Up three pair of stairs all day. 

I always vow that I never more 

To the tavern bar will roam, 
And then I drink all the budge I can, 

And bring a half -gallon home. 

—St. Louis Whip, 



Money loaned on gas and water stock, bonds, 
sealskins, furniture and diamonds, at the Collateral 
Bank, 15 Dupont street. Private entrance from 
O'Farrell. ' 

It was a poker player 

Who was sitting in a doze ; 
And his wife was sewing buttons 

On his olive branch's clothes. 
And the shades of eve were falling 

When his wife towards him inclined, 
And astonished him by asking 

If he would not "raise the blind." 

—N. Y. Mercury, 

" What great blessing do we enjoy that the hea- 
thens know nothing about?" inquired a Sunday- 
school teacher. " Soap ! " was the answer that came 
like the crack of a pistol from the small boy at the 
foot of the class. — Chicago Ledger. 



In regard to modern languages, it is said that the 
Chinese is the most difficult. We find this out 
when we try to explain to our Chinese laundryman 
that a pair of our socks is missing. 



EXTRACRBEEF 



UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED 
SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHERS BY PHYSI- 
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ID MEN GENERALLY. 

ONE TRIAL INSURES AN 
ENDORSEMENT. 

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SOLE AGENTS 




SILVER— THE GOVERNMENT'S BEST SUPI 



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10 



THE WASP 



TUTTS 
PILLS 

25 Y EARS IN USE. 

The Greatest Medical triump h of ths Age I 
SYMPTOMS OF A 

TORPID LIVER. 

' ZjObs of appetite* Eoweli costive, Fain ia 
- the head, frith a dull sensation in the 
back part* Fain under the shoulder- 
blade* Fullness after eating, with n dis- 
inclination to exertion of body or mind* 
Irritability of temper* Low spirits, with 
a feelineof having neelecte 1 some duty, 
Weariness* Dizziness* Fluttering at the 
Heart* Dots before the eyes* Headache 
over the right eye* Restlessness* with 
fitful dreams* Highly colored Urine* and 

CONSTIPATION. 

TUTT'S PILL® are especially adapted 
to such cases, one dose effects sucb a 
change of feeling as to astonish the sufferer. 

They Increase the A ppetite ,and cause the 
body to Take on JTlesliithus the system is 
nourished, and by their Tonic Action on 
the l>igestiveOrKans*Tlceular Stools are 
produced. Price aftc. 44Mnrray St.lV.Y. 

TUTT'S EXTRACT SARSAPARILLA 

Renovates the borly, makes healthy flesh, 

Strengthens the weak, repairs the wastes of the 

system with pure blood and hardmus-le; tones 

the nervous system, invigorates the brain, and 

imparts the vigor of manhood. Si. Sold by 

druggists. 

OFFICE: 44 Murray St., New York. 

PURE OLD TENNESSEE 




WHITE RYE WHISKY. 



A. FENKHAUSEN & GO. 



414 FRONT ST. 



San Francisco, Cal. 




Capital, Paid in Full, 

$200,000 00 

Assets Dec. 31, 1884, 

$443,381 05. 

LOSSES FAII> 

Since Company Organized, 

$1,133,534 80 

PRINCIPAL OFFICE, 

4.tO California St., 

(Safe Deposit Building) S. F. 

President 
Secretary 



JOHN H. WISE, 
CHAS. A. LATON 



AQA1N 11% XHK B'Bi:BM>! 

CRUSHED INDIAN 

FOR BREAKFAST. 

JOHN T. CUTTING & Co., Sole Agents. 



OBJECTIONS TO CERTAIN 
PLEASURES. 



If we had an endless summer, 

As the poets all desire, 
Where would coal-men get their profits 

And,the ice-men get their hire ? 

If we never needed clothing 

We could stand it well enough, 
But the clothier, what would he do 

With his store and with his stuff? 

If we all could live forever, 

All the fleeting ages through, 
How would tombstone makers flourish, 

What would undertakers do ? 

If we all should go to Heaven 

When this weary life is done, 
How would our old friend, the Devil, 

Have a chance to have his fun ? 

If the Bum Fiend, as they call him, 
Should be crushed completely down, 

How should we, as men and brothers, 
Manage then to paint the town? 

If the street cars run for nothing 

Under firm and stringent rules, 
Who would whack up with the driver, 

Who would feed the hungry mules ? 

If the theories of a future 

Should be branded as a sell, 
Where would preachers get their sermons, 

When they couldn't talk of Hell? 

If a woman burned her corsets, 

And objected to be laced, 
Where would Chawly find his pleasure, 

When he couldn't reach her waist? 

— St. Louis Whip. 



REAL) THIS. 
Mr. A. H. Baldwin (formerly McDowell & Baldwin) of 
the San Francisco Carpet Beating Machine, 1321 and 1323 
Market Street, has improved new machinery throughout. 
He calls for carpets, cleans and relays them all in one 
day. Renovating and refitting carpets a specialty. Tele- 
phone 3036. Only first-class workmen employed. No 
Chinamen. 

A NEW HOME FOR ALL ON EASY TERMS. 

The New Home Sewing Machine Company, having 
established a distributing office at No. 634 Market street, 
San Francisco, is rapidly securing the largest sale on this 
coast, the same as it commands at the East, by reason of 
its superior qualities and freedom from annoyances. (See 
advertisement on inside cover. ) 

PHILADELPHIA BREWERY. 
The Philadelphia Brewery has sold during the year 1885 
nearly 70,000 barrels of beer, being twice as much as the 
next two leading breweries in this city. (See Official Re- 
port, U. S. Internal Revenue, January, 1885.) The beer 
from this brewery has a Pacific Coast renown unequaled 
by any other on the Coast. 

CURE YOUR COLD. 

All persons suffering from Cough, Cold, Asthma, Bron- 
chitis, Loss of Voice or any affection of the Throat and 
Lungs should try 38 Cough Mixture and be cured. For 
sale by all druggists. B. J. Rhodes & Co., manufacturers, 
San Jose, Cal. 

NATURAL MINERAL WATER. 
The Tolenas Spring Soda, natural mineral water lately 
introduced here, is refreshing, agreeable and effervescent, 
cures indigestion, acidity of the stomach, etc. J. C. 
Remington, 217 Commercial street, General Agent for the 
Pacific Coast. 



SIDEBOARDS. 
At the California Furniture Company, 220 to 226 Bush 
street, is a mahogany sideboard, with brass trimmings, 
peculiar handles and a quantity of scroll-work, which is 
well worth seeing. 

"THE DOMESTIC." 
J. W. Evans, 29 Post street, is the sole agent for the 



light running Domestic Sewing Machine, 
advertisement on cover of the Wasp. ) 



(See their big 



Library of the Ligue Nationale Francaise, 120 Sutter 
street, first story, open daily, except Sundays, from noon 
to 6 p. m., and from 7:30 to 10 o'clock p. m. Terms of ad- 
mission, one dollar entrance fee and fifty cents per month. 



Uncle Jacobs, 613 Pacific street, loans money to every- 
body at low rates of interest. 

C. O. Dean, D.D.S., 126 Kearny Btreet (Thurlow block), 
superior dentistry. 



GOLDBERG, BOWEN 

& COMPANY, 

THE. 

LEADING GROCERS 

OF SASI FRANCISCO. 

428 TO 432 PINE STREET, 

Next to California market. 

Have received Direct Importations of the following 

TABLE DELICACIES 



Strawberry Marcipau. 
Wiesbaden Prunes "Confites." 
Wiesbaden White Strawberries. 
French Plum Pudding. 
Holland Cucumbers, extra large 
German Asparagus. 
Royal Stilton Cheese. 
Dresden Patience Wafers. 
Suchard's Swiss Chocolate. 
Delicatess Herring. 
Macaroon Figs. 



Nurenburg Honey Cake 
Mincemeat, 5-lh. pails, 75 eente. 
Royal Dehesa Raisins. 
English Plum Pudding. 
Paper-shell Walnuts. 
French Asparagus. 
Royal Cheddar Cheese. 
Belfast Irish Bacon. 
Strasbourg Pate de Foie Grog. 
German Cranberry Sauce. 
Lacoum Figs. 



Our Cellar is stocked with the Oldest and Rarest Medicinal 
Sherries, Ports, Clarets, SautCrnes, BurgundieB, Whiskies and 
Champagnes. 



General Reduction in Prices. 



Send for our New Catalogue of Prices before 
purchasing elsewhere. 



GOLDBERG, BOWEN & GO. 

Successors to Lebenbaum, Goldberg & Itowen 
428 to 432 PINE STREET, SAN FRANCISCO. 
Telephone No. 1. 

I X L 



IVETV ^TORE. 



IVE^W GOODS. 



For Garments or a complete Suit of Clothes, 
something in the line of Underwear, Over- 
wear, White or Colored Shirts, Collars, Cuffs, 
Neckwear, Footwear or Headgear, Camping 
Outfits of any kind, or, in fact, anything in 
the line of Outfits for Men, Youths, Boys or 
Children, no matter what, we can furnish it, 
and . give you a stock REPRESENTING A 
QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS TO 
SELECT FROM. 



GREAT 



I X L 

924 TO 932 MARKET ST. 



iii'Tlic Largest Establishment in its Line 
in the United States. 

PRICE LIST Sent Free on Application. 



THE WASP. 



11 




LITERATURE. 



The crush ut the California continues, to-day's matinee 
and this evening's performance being the last opportunities 
for seeing the famous Kiralfy Troupe in Around the World 
in Eighty Days. The simply phenomenal run of this pro- 
duction has incited the management to a more than usually 
unstinted outlay in the preparation of The Black Crook 
which, with a fresh aggregation of spectacular splendors, 
takes the boards on Monday evening next. In addition 
to new and striking scenic effects by Eoberchi, Caperzal, 
Magnani, Seabury and others, many specialty novelties 
have been forwarded from New York by Mr. Hayman. 
Among these are the Parisian wonders, Mons. and Mile. 
Tissot, the "Human Automatons," in whose peculiar act 
stage marionettes are imitated with .singularly grotesque 
effect. Leopold and Wentworth will astonish with new 
developments of the gymnastic art, and the reengagement 
of the Magnani troupe will present these unique musicians 
in new specialties. There will be three entirely new 
ballets given for the first time anywhere, led by Miles. De 
Kosa and Astigiano, viz., the Blue Ballet, the Dance of 
the Bells, and Ballet of Wine, Woman and Song. Another 
entirely new conception of the Kiralfys will be the dance 
A La Mikado, introducing Ko-Ko and Katisha and the 
Three Little Maids. Other incidentals too numerous to 
detail will make up an ensemble of spectacular gorgeous- 
ness such as yet never astonished a Frisco audience, and 
those who desire good places during the first week's run 
had best be forehanded in their call at the box office. 
There will be no performance at this theater on Sunday 
evening to allow for a grand dress rehearsal of the new 
spectacle. 

Good houses have greeted the advent of Davis' Alvin 
Joslin Comedy Company at the Bush. "Age doth not 
wither nor custom stale " Mr. Joslin's variety or acceptance 
as a laugh-maker, and the 180 grins promised his patrons 
each evening are more than supplied by the eccentric char- 
acter acting of himself and his excellent support. The 
810,000 Challenge Band accompanying this combination is 
a most effective feature of the entertainment. To-day's 
matinee and the performances of this and to-morrow even- 
ing conclude this company's engagement. On Monday, 
that old-time and most enthusiastically regarded favorite 
of our theater-goers, dashing, irrepressible Alice Harrison 
will appear - , backed this time by an entirely new comedy 
company and new play, Hot Water, which seems to have 
taken the Eastern public by storm. Her support is capital 
and her leading comedian, Chas. S. Dickson, a host in 
himBelf. The Philadelphia Press saya : " Sot Water, a 
bubbling farce of the order now happily in vogue, was 
given last night for the first time in this city by Alice 
Harrison and her company. The plot shows the hap3 and 
mishaps of two elderly Benedicks who, closely watched by 
jealous wives, engage help at an intelligence office : a cook, 
a wet nurse, a professor, a boxing master. The object of 
the play is simply to cause uproarious laughter, and this 
end is certainly gained. Miss Harrison as "Marie," the 
soubrette, was full of fun, and her yodel song with clog 
dance was encored, and her mesmerism in the first act was 
excrutiatingly funny. The other members of the company 
entered into the spirit of the play and were rewarded for 
all their buffoonery with shouts of laughter from a very 
large and appreciative audience." The first-night bri- 
gade have already made a corner on seats for Monday 
evening, and " Our Alice " is already assured a Californian 
welcome of the old stamp. 

None of our amusements resort has enjoyed better pat- 
ronage from holiday pleasure-seekers than the wonderful 
Battle of Waterloo at the Panorama Building, corner of 
Eddy and Mason streets. This great and realistic triumph 
of the painter's art should be missed by no one. 



The Golden Era Company has just issued a volume 
of SJiort Stories by Sam Davis. They consist of both 
prose and verse and are chock-full of mellow humor. 
The Sage-brush State has been prolific of witty 
writers — even more than its share — for besides Mark j 
Twain, Dan De Quille, Sam Davis and Fred Hart, 
who have achieved a continental reputation, the i 
local press of Nevada teems with pungent para- 
graphers. This little messenger from the unctuous 
pen of Sam Davis is a jolly companion for a railroad \ 
trip or as an antidote to " collection-day." 

Willard P. Barton of this city 1ms written, under 
the nom de plume of Willard Thompson, some very 
clever music. His latest song, "The Gold-plated 
Hod," published by the Chicago Music Company, is 
one of the brightest character-songs that has ap- 
peared for a long time. 

We have received from the Travelers Insurance 
Company of Hartford a copy of then* new engraving, 
" Representative Parisian Journals and Journalists." ; 
It is an interesting and well-executed picture, show- 
ing fifteen of the leading newspapers of the French I 
capital, with the portrait of the editor photographed j 
as it were upon each. The Travelers has a handsome 
way of issuing really good engraving, advertising ' 
itself, of course, in an unobtrusive way, but at the I 
same time contributing in no small degree to the 
common stock of popular information. As the largest 
Accident Company in the world the Travelers can 
afford this class of broad advertising, which creates 
a favorable personal feeling toward itself wherever 
its attractive art work penetrates. 



THE PARENT OF INSOMNIA. 

The parent of insomnia or wakefulness is in nine caaei* 
out of ten a dyspeptic stomach. Good digestion gives 
sound sleep, indigestion interferes with it. The brain and 
stomach sympathize. One of the prominent symptoms of a 
weak state of the gastric organs is a disturbance of the 
great nerve entrepot, the brain. Invigorate the stomach, 
and you restore equilibrium to the great center. A most 
reliable medicine for the purpose is Hostetter's Stomach 
Bitters, which is far preferable to mineral sedatives and 
powerful narcotics, which, though they may for a time 
exert a soporific influence upon the brain, soon cease to act, 
and invariably inj ure the tone of the stomach. The Bitters, 
on the contrary, restore activity to the operations of that 
all-important organ, and their beneficent influence is re- 
flected in sound sleep and a tranquil state of the nervous 
system. A wholesome impetus is likewise given to the 
action of the liver and bowels by its use. 



CATARRH, CATARRHAL DEAFNESS 
HAY FEVER. 
A new treatment has been discovered whereby a per- 
manent cure of these hitherto incurable diseases is abso- 
lutely effected in from one to three applications, no 
matter whether standing one year or forty years. This 
remedy is only applied once in twelve days and does not 
interfere with business. Descriptive pamphlet sent free 
on receipt of stamp, by A. H. Dixon & Son, 305 King- 
street west, Toronto, Canada. 



A rural schoolmaster in Indiana asked a pupil 
named William Scott, the other day, which was the 
longest river in the world, and William persisted in 
crediting that honor to the Wabash. As a result, 
he went home with a tanned jacket. As another 
result, a stranger appeared and knocked on the 
door. 

"Is this the skule teacher?" he pleasantly in- 
quired. 

"He ar!" 

" Are you the critter as licked Bill Scott fur stick- 
ing up fer the Wabash ? " 

"The same, sir." 

" Wall, Bill happens to be my son, and I've come 
fur to gin you the awfullest whalin' ever writ down 
in geography." 

" Can you wait until I am through with the class 
in spelling 1 " asked the teacher. 

"O! I s'pose so, but under the circumstances I 
hope yell cut it as short as possible. Haven't got 
my corn husked, ye know." 

"Certainly. I never keep a gentleman waiting 
when I can help it. Sit down on the wood-pile Mr. 
Scott. I'll come out and pulverize you in just nine 
minutes. " 

At the end of the appointed time the teacher re- 
appeared and at once rushed upon the waiting Mr. 
Scott and blacked his eyes, broke his jaw and flat- 
tened his nose. By and by Mr. Scott said he had 
all he wanted, and added : 

" Which is the longest river in the world ? " 

"The Amazon, sir." 

' ' Am-a-zon. Please write it down for me. You've 
licked it into me in fust-class style, and when I get 
home and git my paws onto my son Bill he'll come 
to believe that there hain't miff water in the Wabash 
to wash his mother's feet with. Am-a-zon ! Good- 
by, critter ! " — New York Star. 

" A woman is a good deal like an accordion," says 
Lawrence O'Reilly. "You can draw her out all 
right, but the music begins when you try to shut 
her up." 

The London World relates a charming incident in 
connection with Patti's divorce. When the cere- 
mony was concluded and during the collection taken 
as usual for the poor of the parish, the Marquis per- 
ceived to his dismay that he had forgotten his purse, 
With the most amiable mien, however, Patti ap. 
proached him and presenting him her portemonnaie- 
said : " For this once pray accept mine ! " 



NORTH PACIFIC COAST RAILROAD. 
There is no more picturesque and exquisite scenery in 
the State than one finds on the line of the North Pacific 
Coast Railroad. From Saucelito to Duncan Mills it is an 
exquisite panorama of mountain, wood and stream, wild 
beyond conception and teeming with California character- 
istics. It also has the merit of variety, for every few miles 
a different vista is presented to the eye. After leaving the 
thickly wooded country between San Rafael and the Paper 
Mill the tourist is whirled along the shores of Bolinas bay, 
and from thence to the majestic redwood forests that He in 
the vicinity of the Russian river. The cars are comforta- 
ble and the employe's most courteous to travelers, willingly 
giving all required information in regard to the points of 
interest on the route. 



ANOTHER NEW LINE 
Of goods now offered by the California Furniture Com- 
pany, 220 to 226 Bush street. Call and see them. 



LEMP'S ST. LOUIS BEER. 
Mr. Otto Normann, 411 Bush street, is the sole agent for 
this celebrated beer for the Pacific Coast. 



The celebrated California Champagne, the home produc- 
tion of A. Finke's widow, including the fine brands of 
"Carte Blanche," "Imperial Cabinet, " are.becoming more 
popular every day. This wine is most excellent and supe- 
rior in quality. 

If you want your jewelry, watches, clocks, fans, etc., 
neatly repaired and made as good as new, go to S. J. 
Pembrooke, watchmaker and jeweler, 212 O'Farrell street, 
near Powell. 

Take your families and children to Thors', 1025 Larkin 
street, cor. of Sutter, for instantaneous photographs. All 
his work is artistic. 



For Oysters, wholesale and retail go to Moraghan's, 
California Market. 



Oysters, Fish, Game, Ice Cream — Manning's, 428 Pine. 

NOW IS THE TIME 

TO SUBSCRIBE FOR 

THE T¥ASP. 

IT IS THE ONLY 

CARTOON PAPER PUBLISHED WEST OF THE ROCKY 
MOUNTAINS, 

And no Expense will be spared to make it the most interesting 
and popular publication of the day. 

Its Cartoons are always a prominent feature, 

Illustrating all that is Eventful and Topical in National and Local 
happenings. The Letterpress will be up to its usual high standard. 

teems of subscriptions J \ E n |: :;;;;::;:;;; % \ fjj 

Payable m Advance . } 12 Months ■ • • • 6 00 

Remit by Postal Order or Check. 

OFFICE OF 

THE HIBERNIA SAVINCS AND LOAN SOCIETY, 

X. E. cor. Montgomery and Post SSts. 

San Francisco, January 4, 1886. 

At a regular meeting of the Board of Directors of this Society, 
held this day, a Dividend at the rate of 3$ per cent, per annum 
has been declared on all deposits for the six months ending with 
December 31, 1885, free from all taxes, and payable from ana after 
this date. ROBERT J. TOBIN, Secretary. 



BEDROCK PRICES. 



12 



THE WASP. 



SOUTHERN PAC|FIC COMPANY. 

Trains leave, and are doe to arrive at 

Oakland Ferry, foot of Market St., 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



LEAVK 

(for) 


From Oct. 13, 1S85 


A K RIVE 

(from) 




B on 


te.io p. 
*io.ioa. 


S.00 A. 


. .Calistoga and Napa 


-4.00 p. 


" " ** 


6.10 P. 


7.30 A. 




6.40 P. 


7.30 a. 


. .Delta, Redding and Portland 


■6.40 P. 


•3.30 p. 


..Gait, via Martinez 


*10.40a. 


8.00 A. 


. . lone, via Livermore 


5.40 P. 


4.00 p. 


. .Knight's Landing 


10. 10 A. 


*6.00p. 


..Livermore and Pleasanton. 


*8.40A. 






6.10 P. 


*8.00a. 




"7.10 P. 


3.30 p. 


) Mojave, Deraing f Express 
[ El Paso and Kast ( Emigrant 


10.40 A. 


3.30 P. 


10.10 A. 


10.00 A. 


. .Niles and Hayward's 


3.40 P. 


3.00 P. 


) Ogden and Kastj Express 
J " " " \ Emigrant 


11.10 a. 


3.00 P. 


11.10 A. 


7. 30 A. 


..Red Bluff, via Marysville. .. 


6.40 P. 


8.00 a. 


..Sacramento, via Livermore 


6,40 P. 


7.30 a. 


" via Bericia. .. 


6.40 P. 


3 00p 


" via renicia. .. 


11.10 A. 


4.00 p. 


'* via Benicia. .. 


10.10 a. 


*4.00 P. 


. .Sacramento River steamers 


*ti.00 A. 








J10.00A. 




13.40 P. 


3.00 P. 


" . ... 


9.40 a. 


8.00 a. 


..Stockton, via Livermore. .. 


f>.40 P. 


*9 30a. 


" vii Mvrciuez. . . . 


'7.10 P. 


"3.30 P. 


" via Martinez.. . . 


'10.40 a. 















i for morning. 



p for afternoon. 



From sun Francisco, daily. 

To EAST OAKLAND— '6.00, *6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 
8.00, S.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30, 
12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00. 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00. 6.30,6.00, 6.30,7.00, S.00, 9.00, 
10.00, 11.00, *12.00. 

To FRUIT VALE- '6.00, "6.30, *7.00,*7.3O,«S.0O, 
•8.30, *3.30, »4.00, *4.30, *5.00, «5.30, "6.00, 
*6.30, 9.00. 

To FBUIT VALE (via Alameda) — *9.30, 6.30, 
J11.00, *12.00 

To ALAMEDA -«6.00 '6.30, 7.00 »7.30, 8.00, 
"8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 110.30, 11.00, 111.30, 
12.00, U2.30, 1.00, U.30, 2.00, 3.011, 3.30, 4.00, 
4.30, 5,00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 
11.00, "12.00. 

To BSRKELEY— *6.00, '6.30. 7.00, '7.30, 8.00, 
"8.30, 9.U0, {9.30, 10.00, ilO.30, 11.00, U1.30, 
12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 4.30 5.00,6.30,6.00, 
6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.0J, 10.00, 11.00 "12.00. 

To WEST BEKKH.LEV— '6.00, '6.30, 7.00, '7.30, 
(8.00, *8.30, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00, J1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 
4.00, "4.30, 6.00, *5.30, 6.00, "6.J0, 7.00. 
To S*an Francisco, dally. 

Prom FRUIT VALE -'6.23, *6.!3, "7.23, "7.53, 
"8.23, "8.S3, "9.23, "10.21, '4.23, »4.63, "5.23, 
"5.63, "6.23, '6.53, 7.25, 9.(0. 

From FRUIT VALE (via Alameda,)— "5.16, '5.45, 
(6.45, (9.15, "3.16. 

From E ST OAKLAND— "6.30, "6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 
7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 
11.30, 12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 
3.30, 4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00,7.57, 
8.57, 9.67, 10.57. 

From BROADWAY, Oakland— 7 minutes later 
than from East Oakland. 

Rrom ALAMEDA -"5.22, "5.52, "6.22, 6.52, "7.22, 
7.52, "8.22. 8.52, 9.22, 9.52, (10.22, 10.52, (11.22, 
11.52, (12.22. 12.52. (1.22, 1.52, 2.52, 3.22, 3.62, 
4.22, 4.52, 5.22, 5.52, 6.22, 6.52, 7.52, 8.52, 9.52, 
10.52. 

From BERKELEY— "5.15, "5.45, "6.15, 6.45, 
"7.15, 7.4a, "8.16, 8.45, [9.15,9.45,(10.15, 10.45, 
(11.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.45, 2.45, 3.45, 4.15, 4.45, 
6.15, 5.45, 6.15, 6.45, 7.45, S.45, 9.45, 10.45. 

From WEST BtSRKEbEY- ii.45, *6.15, 6.45, 
"7.15, 7.45 ,8.45, (9.15, 9.45, 10.45, (12.45, 1.45, 
2.45, 3.45, 4.45, "5.15, 5.45, "6.15, 6.45, "7.15. 

< reck K»ute. 
From SAN FRANCISCO— "7.15, 9.15, 11.15, 1.15, 

3.15, 5.15. 
From OAKLAND -"6.15, 8.15, 10.15, 12.15, 2.15, 

4.15. 

* Sundays excepted { Sundays only. 
Standard Time furnished by Kaxdoli'H& Co., S.F. 



A. N. TOWNE, 
Gen. Manager. 



T. H. GJODMAN, 

Gen. Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



ACENTS WANTED. 

Patent Amateur Vise. The 
neatest and handiest little tool 
, out. Needed by everyone. No 
talking is necessary. The Vise 
sells itself, and they go like 
"hot cakes." Sample and Agents' Prices post- 
paid on receipt of 50c L. H. MOISE, Sole 
Agent, 320 Sansome street, room 35, S. F. 



A PRIZE.! 



Send six cents for post- 
age, and receive free, a 
costly box of goods which 
> will help all,of eithersex, 
to more money right away than anything else in 
this world. Fortunes await the workers abso- 
lutely sure. Terms mailed free. TRUE & CO. , 
Augusta, Maine. 



D10 nULCCD To introduce them, we 

Dill Urrtll. will give away lopo 

ISelf-OperatingWashing Machines. If you want 

■one send us your name, P.O. and express office 

at once. The National Co., '-53 I>cy St. 

Blew York, 



U/nD 1 / FOR AliJL. $80 a week and ex- 
it U II l\ penses paid. Outfit worth §5 and par- 
ticulars free. P. O. VICKERY, Augusta, Maine. 



Northfrn Division 

SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

TIME SCHEDULE. 

Passenger Trains leave an • Arrive 

Passenger Depot Townsend street, bet. Third 
and Fourth streets, San Francisco. 



Commencing Oct. 18, I akkiyk 

18S5. I 8. F. 



t 6.40 A. 


8.30 A. 


10.40 4. 


* 3.30 p. | 


4.30 p. 


* 5.15 r. 


6.30 p. 



.San Mateo, Redwood and. 
MenloPark 



8.30 a. 
10.40 a. 

a'oq p ' ..Principal Way Stations. 



.Santa Clara San Jose and. 



* 8.10 A. 

9.03 A. 
*10.02 a. 

3.30 P. 
t 5.02 P. 

6.08 P. 



9.03 a. 
*10.02 A. 



10.40 a. 



10.40 a. 
* 3.30 P. 



10 40 a. 
* 3.30 p. 



.Gilroy,Pajaro, agtrovilie. 
. ..Salinas and Monterey . . . 



.Hollister and Tres Pinos. 



*10.02 A. 
6.08 P. 



'10.02 a. 
6. OS P. 



. . . Watson ville, Aptos, . . . 
. Soquel ( i amp Capitola) , 
and Santa Cruz 



10.40 a. .Soledad and Way Stations. 6.0S r, 



a. — Morn ng. p.— Afternc 

* Sundays excepte 
t Sundays only (Sportsmen's train). 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co., S. F. 



STAGE C >NNECTIONS are made with the 
10.40 a. M. train, except Pescad.ro stages via 
San Mateo and Radwc d, which connect with 
8.30 A. *. train. 



EXCURSION TICKETS. 

For Sundays only— Sold Sunday Morning and 
for 1.30 P. M, train; good for return tame 
day. 

For Saturday, Sunday and Monday- Sold Sat- 
urday an-! Sunday only; gond for return 
until following Monday, inclusive. 



Tickst Omens— Passenger Dt-pot, Townsend 
street, Va'encia-street Station, and No. 6 T S 
Market street. Grand Hotel. 
A. C. BASSETT, H R. JUDAH, 

Superintendent. Asst. Pass. & Tkt. Agt 



SOUTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



Passenger Trains leave Station, foot of Market 
street, South Side at 

8QA A. M., daily, for Alvarado, Newark, 
tOil Centerville, Alviso, Santa Clara, SAN 
JOSE, Los Gatos, Wrights, Glenwood, Felton, 
Biir Trees, Boulder Creek, SANTA CRUZ and 
all Way Stations. 

2 ftf% P. M. (except Sunday), Express: Mt. 
■ OU Eden, Alvarado, Newark, Centerville, 
Alviso, Agnews, Santa Clara, SAN JOSE, Los 
Gatos, Boulder Creek and all stations to SANTA 
CRUZ. 

4rt ft P. M., daily, for SAN JOSE, Los Gatos 
■ OU and intermediate points. 

4 Aft A. M., every Sunday, Hunters' Train 
»UU to San Jose, 



Stations 



stopping at all Way 



fiJC EXCURSIONS TO SANTA CRUZ and 
i&O BOULDER CREEK, and $2.50 to SAN 

JOSE, on Saturdays and Suudays, to return on 
Monday, inclusive. 

$1.75 to SANTA CLARA and SAN JOSE 
and return. Sundays only. 

All through trains ct rinect at Felton for Boul 
der Creek and points on Felton and Pescader-D 
Railroad. 



TO OAKLAND ANO ALAMEDA. 

§6.00, §6.30, §7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 
10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30 A. M. «|12.00, 12.30, 
1)1 00, 1.30, 1J2.00, 2.30, 3.0O, 3.30, 4 00, 4.30, 5.00 
6.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30, 10.45, 11.45 
P.M. 

From Fonrteenth and Webster streets, 
Oakland— §5.30, §6.00, §6.30, 7.00, 7.30 8.00, 
S.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 111.00, 11 30 A. M. 
112.00, 12.30,11.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00,3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30,8.30, 
9.30, 10.45, 11.45 P. M. 

From High atrect, Alameda— §5.16, §5.46, 
§6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 7.46, 8.16, 8.46. 9.16. 9.46, 
i0.16, 110.46, 11.16, 111.46 A. M. 12 16, 112.46, 
1.16, 1.46, 2.16, 2.46, 3.16, 3.46, 4.16, 4.46, 6.16, 
6.46, 6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 9.16, 10.31, 11.31 P, M. 

§ Sundays excepted. 
1 Sundays only. 

TICKET, Telegraph and Transfer offices 222 
Montgomery street, S. F. 

L. FILLMORE, W. T. FITZGERALD, 

Superintendent. G. F. & P. Agt 



S. F. & NORTH PACIFIC R. R. 

(Broad Gauge.) 

Commencing Sundny, January 3, 1SS6, 

and until further notice, boats and trains will 
leave from and arrive at San Francisco Passen- 
ger Depot, Market street wharf, as follows : 



Leave 
San Francisco. 



Destina- 
tion. 



Arrive in 
San Francisco. 



Wbkk 
Days. 



Sun- 
days. 



3.30 PM 



I Petaluma, J 
I Santa Rosa, 
I Fulton, I 
Windsor, I 
I Healdsburg I 
I Cloverdale, I 
I & way stns. ! 



Sun- 
days. 



Wbkk 
Days. 



| 8.50 am 



6.05 pm 



.45 am , S.00 am | Guerneville | C 10 pm | 6.05 Pi! 



Stages connect at Santa Rosa for Sebastopol 
and Mark West Springs; atClairvilleforSnaggs' 
Springs, and at Cloverdale for Highland Springs, 
Kelseyville, Soda Bay, Lakeport, Saratoga 
Springs, Blue Lakes, Bartlett Springs, Ukiah, 
Eureka. Navarro Ridge, Mendocino city a^d the 
Geysers. 

EXCURSION TICKETS from Saturdays to 
Mondays— To Petaluma, SI. 76 ; to Santa Rosa, 
S3; to Healdsburg, $4; to Cloverdale, $5. 

EXCURSION TICKETS, good for Sundays 
only— To Petaluma, §1.50; to Santa Rosi, $2; 
to Healdsburg, $3 ; to Cloverdale, £4.50 ; to 
Guerneville, S3. 

From San Francisco for Point Tiburon and 
Sin Rafael— Week days : 7.45 a. m., 9.15 a. m., 
3.30 p. M., 5 p. M., 6.10* p. m. Sunuays: 8 
A. M , 10.15 A. M. , 1 p. M. , 6 p. M. 

To San Francisco from San Rafael — Week 
days: 6.30 a. m., 8 a.m., 10.30 a. m., 3.40 p. m., 
5.05 p. M. Sundays: 8.10 a. m., 11.30 a. m., 
3 p. m., 5 P. M. 

To San Francisco from Point Tiburon — Week 
days: 7 a. m., S.20 a. m., 10.55 a. m., 4.05 P. M. p 
5.30 p. M. Sundajs: 8.35 A. M., 1155 A.M., 
3.25 p. M., 5.30 p. M. 

* There will be no 6.10 p. m. boa u from San 
Francisco on Saturdays. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McQLYNN.Gen. Pa&s. and lkt. Agt. 

Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SONOMA VALLEY RAILROAD. 

Steamer Jimes M. Donahue leaves San Fran- 
cisco and connects with trains at Soncma Land 
ing as follows: 

4ftft P. M., daily (Sundays excepted), from 
• UU Wash iny ton -ttrett wharf, for th; town 
of Sonoma, Ulen Ellen and way points. 
SUNDAY EXCUKSIONS. 

8ftft A. M. (Sundays onlj), Irom Washing- 
,ZU t n-street wharf for the t -wn of So- 
noma, G.en Ellen and way points. Round-trip 
tickits to Sonoma, SI ; Glen Ellen, §1.50. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETEK J. McGLYNN, lien. Pass, and Tkt. Agt. 
Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SAUC£LITO, SAN RAFAEL, SAN QUEhTIN, 
via 

NORTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 

TIME T t KLi: 
Coin iii i itelng »uiui,.j. Nov. 8, is.", 

a., a until fur hur no ice, Boats and Trains 
will runs as follows : 

For SAN R\FAEL and SAUCELITO (week 
da>s) 9.20, 11.20 a. m., 3.35, 5.05 P. M. 

Sundays) — 8.00, 10.00, 11.30 a. M., 1.30, 3.15, 
5.15 p. M. 

Extra trip on Saturday at 1.30 p. M, 



From SAM RAFAEL ( 


ttek da. s)— 7.45, 9.20, 


11.35 A. M., 3.30 v. M. 




(Sund.ysJ— 8.05, 10.10 


a. m., 12.00 M., 1.35, 


3.20,5.15.1'. M. 





From SAUCELIiO (week days)— 8.15, 9.55 
A. M , 12.20, 4.05 p. M. 

(Sundays)— 8.40, 10.45 a. m., 12.35, 2.15, 4.00 
6.00 p. M. 

Extra trips— Fiom Saucelito on Saturday at 
2.30, 6.00 r. M. 

Il.2(> A. .11.. Oailt, Suudays excepted, 
THR UGH TRAINS for Duncan Al ills and way 
st&'ionh. ( rhrouyh train from Dun-.au Mins 
arrive in San Fraiicif-co at 12.50 p. si.) 



STA-tE CONNECTION'S. 
Stages leave Duncan Mills every morning, ex- 
cept Mondays, for Stewart s Point, Gualala, Poinr 
Arena, Cuffe>'s Cove, Navarro, Mtndoeino, and 
all p Ants on the JNorth Coast. 

THIRTY-DAY EXCURSIONS 

Round-trip Tickets, good for thirty d-iys to 

and Irom all points north of San Anstlmo, at 

twenty-five per cent, reduction from single 

tinff rite. 

SATURDAY TO MONDAY EXCURSIONS. 

Excursion tickets s -Id on Saturday, good to 
return following Monday : Fa'rfax, S1.00 ; Camp 
Taylor, S1.75 ; Point Reyes, S2.00 ; Tomalet,, 
S3.00 ; Duncan Mills, S4. 

SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8.00 A. !H. (Sundays only) Excursion Train 
for Camp Tayior, Tomales and waj' t-tations. 
Returning, arrive in San Francipco at 6.30 ?. a. 

Fares for round trip — Camp Taj lor, S1.50 ; 
Point Reyes, SI. 75 ; Tomalts, $2.50. 



J. W. COLEMAN, 
General Manager. 



F. B. LATHAM, 
Gen'l Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP 

COMPANY. 



Steamers of this Company will 
sail from Broadway Wharf, San 
Francisco, for ports in California, 

.Oregon, Washington and Idaho 

Territories, xsntish Columbia and Alaska, as fol- 
lows : 

California Southern Coast Ronle.- 

Steamers will sail about every second day A. M. 
for the following ports (excepting San Diego, 
every fifth day), viz : Santa Cruz, Monterey, 
San Simeon, Cayucos, Port Harford, San Luis 
Obispo. Gaviota, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Hue 
neme, San Pedro, Los Angeles and San Diego. 

BratlBh ColnmnSu antl Alaska Route- 

-Steamship IDAHO, carrying U. S. Mails, sails 
from Portland, Oregon, on or about the 1st o* 
each month, for Port Townsend, W. T., Victoria, 
and Nanaimo, B. C, Fort Wrangel, Sitka and 
Harrisburg, Alaska, connecting at Port Town 
send with Victoria and Puget Sound. Steamer 
leaving San Francisco on or about the first 
the same month. 

victoria and Fnget Sound Route.— 

The Steamers GEO. W. ELDER and QUEEN OF 
THE PACTF;C carrying Her Britanic Majesty's 
and ■ ulted States mails, eail from Broadway 
Wharf, san Francisco, at 10 A. m., on January 
5th, 13th, 21st, 29th, Feb. 6th. 14th, 22d, March 
2d, 10th, and every eighth day thereafter for 
Victoria, B.C., Port Townsend, Seattle, Tacoma, 
Steilacoom and Olympia, making close connec- 
tion with steamboats, etc., for Skagit River and 
Cassiar Mlnes,Nanaimo, New Westminster, Yale, 
Sitka and all other impormnt points. Return- 
ing, leave Seattle and Port Townsend on Jan. 
5th 13th, 21st, 29th, Feb 7th, 14th, 22d, March 
2d, and jvery eighth day thereafter, and Victoria 
on Jan. 6th", 14th, 22d, 30th, Feb. 8th, 15th, 23d, 
March 3d, and every uighth day thereafter. 

Portland, Oregon, Route.— The Oregon 

Railway and Navigation Company and the Pa- 
cific Coast Steamship Company dispatch from 
Spear Street Whan one of the steamships 
OREGON, COLUMBIA, STATE OF CALI- 
FORNIA and GEO. W. ELDER, carrying the 
United States Mail, st tiling days— Jan. 3d, 
Sth, 13th, lSh, 23d, 28th, Fib. 2d, and every 
following filth day for Portland tnd Astoria, 
Oregon. 

Eureka and Humboldt Ray Route.— 

Steimer ANCON sails from Sun rancisco for 
Wurcka, Areata, Hookton (Hum oil Bay) every 
Wednesday at y a. m. 

Point Arena and IHendoclno Route.— 

Steamer YAQUINA sails from Broadway 
Wharf, San Francisco, at 3 p. m. every Monday 
for folnt Arenas, Cuffoy'e Cove, Little River 
and Mendocino. 

TICKET OFFICE, 214 Montgomery St. 

(Opposite the Russ House) 

G00DALL, PERKINS & CO., General Agents 

No. 10 Market St. San Francisco. 




GENERAL OFFICES, 327 PINE STREET. 



xm. 



The Best Newspaper in America, 
and by far the Most Readable. 

Agents wanted everywhere to eam 
money in distributing the Sun's Pre- 
miums. 

The most interesting and advanta- 
geous offers ever made by any News- 
paper. 

No Subscriber ignored or neglected. 
Something for all. 

Beautiful and Substantial Premiums in 
Standard Gold and otherWatches,Vaiuable 
Books, the Best Family Sewing Machine 
known to the trade, and an unequaled list 
of objeots of real utility and instruction. 

Sates, by Mail, Postpaid : 
DAILY, per Year (without snnday) $6 00 

DAILY,per Month (without Sunday I 50 

SUNDAY, per Year ... I 00 
FOR EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR 7 00 
WEEKLY, per Year ... I 00 
Address, THE SUX, New York City. 



Q 1 1 p ^* Instant relief. Final cure in 
a^ i P— EaVi 10 days, and never returns. 
No purge, no salve, no suppository. Sufferers 
will learn of a simple remedy. Free, by address- 
ing C. J. MASON, 7S Nassau St., N. Y. 



THE WASP. 



13 



THE ORIGIN OF SCANDAL. 

Saiil Mrs. A. 

To Mrs. J., 
In quite a confidential way, 
" It seems to me 

That Mrs. B. 
Takes too much— something in her tea.' 

And Mi .J. 

T.. Mrs. K. 
That very night was heard to Bay, 

She L,iieved *-o touch 

Upon it much. 
But "Mrs. B. took — such and such ! " 

Thru Mrs. 0. 

Went straight away. 
Ami told a friend the self -same day, 
" Twas sad to think " — 

Here came a wink— 
' That Mrs. B. was fond of drink." 

The friend's disgust 

Was such she must 
Inform a huh' which she "missed " 
" That Mrs. B. 

At half-] iast tliree. 
Was that far gone she couldn't see." 

This lady we 

Have mentioned, she 
Gave needlework to Mrs. B., 

And at such news 

Could scarcely choose 
But further needlework refuse. 

Then Mrs. E., 

Aa you'll agree, 
Quite properly— said she, that she 

Would track 

The scandal back 
To those who made her look so black. 

Through Mrs. K. 

And Mrs. J. 
She got at last to Mrs. A., 

And asked her why, 

With cruel He, 
She painted her so deep a dye 't 

Said Mrs. A., 

In some dismay, 
" I no such thing could ever say ; 

I said that you 

Much stouter grew 
On too much sugar — which you do." 
— Detroit Free Press. 



AMISEMEXTS 



THE GAS METER. 

It is made of tin and brass, 
And they say it measures gas 

With its dial ; 
If you think it is not classed 
With the fastest of the fast, 

Make a trial. 

True, it has its " fastest days, " 
When the hand with distance plays 

Very rough ; 
But, as each observer knows, 
On the slowest daj's it goes 

Fast enough. 

If you burn a lamp at night 
To decrease the cost of light, 

You will find 
That your bill for gas is less 
Than it was before — oh, yes, 

In your mind ! 

It will be a dollar more 
Than it was the month before. 

You may boil, 
But it is the meter's way 
To get square with those, they say. 

Who use oil. 

When it makes your wallet weep 
Silver tears to pay the steep 

Bill for gas, 
Think what might that grief have been 
If the meter had less tin 

And more brass. 

— Philadelphia Inquirer. 

A BRILLIANT MATCH. 

' I've been to my daughter's wedding," 
The mother exclaimed with pride, 

; ' She's married a wealthy husband, 
Though she was a penniless bride. 

;t I told her to many money, 
For it's just as easy, I'm sure, 
To love a man who has sheklea 
As to love a man who is poor. 

" No, he isn't a railroad magnate, 
Who waits for the stocks to rise, 
But Vanderbilt, they inform me, 
Looked on him with envious eyes. 

" No, he isn't a manufacturer 
Who owns a water power, 
But he's a Niagara hackman 
Who earns seven dollars an hour. " 
—Boston Courier. 



California, Theater. 

Rankin & Co Proprietors 

E. D. Peice manager 

POSITIVELY LAST £ PERFORMANCES. 

Last Matinee Saturday 

KIRALFY BROTH ERM- 

A round the World in HO Days! 

Under management of Mr. Al. Batman. 

Positively the Last Oitortiwity to see 
The Parisian Musical street Pavers, 
The Charming Cigarette Ballet, 
The Jersey Light CJuard, 
The Trained Elephant, "El Mahdi." 

No performance next Sunday evening, on ac- 
count of the enormous preparation necessary for 
the production of the Black Crook. 

Monday evening, January 11th, brilliant pro- 
duction of 

KIRALFY BROTHERS' BLACK CROOK. 
New Scenery, Costumes, Ballet and Specialties. 




Ifiusli-Mtreet X heater. 



M. B. Lhavitt . 
Ciias. P. Hall. 



. . .Lessee and Proprietor 
Manager 



FAMILY MATINEE TO-DAY, AT 2. 
Charles L. Davis' World-Renowned 

ALVIN JOSLIN COMEDY COMPANY ! 

Celebrated Operatic Solo Orchestra and 

$10,000 Challenge Band. 

New Scenery. ISO Laughs in 180 Mfnutes. 

POPULAR PRICES. 

Monday, January 11, 1836, 

ALICE HARRISON.... in.... "HOT WATER.' 

Seats now on sale. 



PANORAMA. 

THE 

BATTLE OF WATERLOO. 

i or Eddy and Mason S< s. 

Open daily from 9 A. M. to 11 P. M. 



DIVIDEND NOTICE. 

The German Savings and Loan 
Society, 

For the half year ending Dec. 31, lSSfl.'the 
Board of Directors of THE GERMAN SAVINGS 
AND LOAN SOCIETY has declared a dividend 
at the rate of four and one-half (4$) per cent. 
per annum on term deposits, and three and 
three-fourths (3}) per cent, per annum on ordi- 
nary deposits, and payable on and after the 2d 
day of January, 1S86. By order. 

GEO. LETTE, Secretary. 



The cigar that ia called imported is 
about as appropriately named as the 
hired girl we call domestic. 



C. L. BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 

Wholesale and Retail Dealersin 

Poultry and Wild Game 

65, ti«J, ©7- California MurkcL 
San Francisco. All orders attended to at the 
Shortest Notice. Goods delivered Free of Charge 
to any part of the City. 



DUFFEY& O'BRIEN, 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

POULTRY <fe GAME. 

Stalls 3 & 4 California Market, 
(California St. entrance) San Francisco. 



E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public & Commissioner of Deeds. 
233 MONTGOMERY STREET, S. F. 



BOKER'S 
BITTERS 

Used as a TOJJIC and COCKTAIL 
BITTER 

SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

For Sale by all Wholesale Dealers and in all 

First-class Saloons. 



TO THE UNFORTUNATE! 

Dr. GIBBON'S DISPENSARY 

d. f*> O KEAR- 
0~5.-5 NY ST. 

San Francisco — Es- \ 
tabliehed in 1854 for 
the treatment and 
cure of Special Dis- 
eases, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases Hearing on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, PER- 
mankm'lv cured: the 
sick and afflicted 
Jehould not fail to call 
j« upon him. The Doc- 
cXKitor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doctor cures when others fail. Try him. DR. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cine Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HuME. All communications strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J. F. GIBBON, Box 1957, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 



"NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL." 

TARRANT'S EXTRACT 



CUBEBS AND COPAIBA 

Is an old, tried remedy 
for gonorrhoea, gleet, 
and all diseases of the 
urinary organs. Its 
neat, portable form, 
freedom from taste and 
speedy action (it fre- 
quently cures in three 
or four days and always 
in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make " Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the most desira- 
ble remedy ever manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud see 
that each package has a red strip across the face 
of label, with the signature of TARRANT & CO., 
N. Y. , upon it. 

PRICE 91. 
Sold by all Druggists. 




LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- 
voring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, 3,000,000 jars. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OP MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feel grateful." — See "Medical 
Press," " Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fae-simile of Baron 
Liebig's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title " Baron Liebig" and pho- 
tograph having been largely used by deal- 
era with no connection with Baron Liebig, 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. To be had of all Storekeepers, 

Grocers and Chemists. Sole agents for the 

United States (wholesale only) C. David & 

Co., 9 Fenchurch Avenue, London, Eng. 

Sold Wholesale by RICHARDS & 

HARRISON, and LAXttLEY & 

MICHAELS. 



SWCur.es with 
unfailing cer- 
TAINTY Nervous 
and Physical De- 
bility, Vital Ex- 
haustion, Weak- 
ness, Loss of Vi- 
tality, and all the 
terrible results of 
excesses and indis- 
cretions. It pre- 
vents permanently 
all weakening 
drains upon the 
system. Permanent Cures Guaranteed. 

Price, §2.50 per bottle, or five bottles S10.00. 
To be had only of DR. C D. SALFIELD, 31© 
Kearny Street, San Francisco. 

TRIAL. BOTTLE FREE, 
Sufficient to show its merit, will be sent to any 
one applying by letter, stating his symptoms and 
age. Communications strictly confidential. 




PENNYROYAL PILLS. 

"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations. Indispensible to Ladies. Ask 
your Druggist for "Chichester's Eng- 
lisla" and "take no other, or inclose 4 cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars is lktter by return 
mail. BJAME PAPER. Chichester 
Chemical Co., 3313 Madison Sq're, 
Philadelphia, Pa. 

TRADEIsuppliedlby'GEO. C. GOODWIN 
& CO., Wholesale Agents, Boston, Mass. 



DR. MCNULTY. 

TV, '! Si i I ■ la a 1 1 .r: m mn L»Oit-i_T quail Bed 
Physician and Surgeon, educated ia both schools of 
tiiu'llcioo laPiin-Arumiu. Ho has demoted a life time 
lothfl irentmeut or Special. Chronlo and Ncrvoui 

dlKMQJ of b«tb HOXOS. All who plaeo itioiu solve* 
under his charge "ill reecho careful, sound and «afo 
advlco. Ihn rc*L.ltofgreat ■fid?, deep research and a 
long clinical cxnerleneo, which hove made him master 
of these diseasuB. 

THOSE who aro so unfortunate aa to suffer from 
the In liberations of youth, or the excesses and folllci 
iifnutturer years, contracted local diseases, olc„ should 
nut fuR to consult him. 

LADIES suffering [ruin the many ailments and com- 
plicated dtseUCB incident to your sex, remember that 
r>n. MqNultv la nblu to asalst, Jon. Ho is always will- 
ing to consult wlih you coannaHTntLV and can 
certainly relievo you. There U no disease pertaining 
to j/our dclkaic system out toMcA he can treat tvitli the 
surety of etteccss. Hla methods of treatment can 
olwnvB be relied on asthevey best that modern 
medical science nnd experience afford. Nonosbenld 
fail to prolH by bis valuable advice and skill. Person* 
who desire to bo cured at home can, If tber ■nsn 
consult him by letter, giving an accu'alo description 
at the trouble or disease, and rcoolvo treatment by 
mail "r express. 

HiaDti'LomeHiHOlM HibOfpick. CottsoxTiTioK 
la person or by letter. Pbe«. Charges reasonable. 
CowHUi/rvnoM Parlous Privatbly Akeakobd. Office 
Hours 10 to 3 Daily. 6 to 8 Evnni'iGi.,St7KD*YS. 10 ro- 
ll o*ly. Messai/es delivered at tho ojjlca will receive, 
prompt attention at alt hours, night or day. Call or 
address 

P. Roscoe McNulty, M D., 

101 Dupont St. (cor. of Geary). 

San Francisco, Cal. 



Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEARNY STREET. 

Still treats, -with the same WONDF.RFl'L success as of 
ola, all chronic, private. Nervous, mid wasting 

diseases, such as NERVOUS DEBILITY, loss of vital- 
ity, PROSTATITIS, KIDNEY, BLADDER and LIVER 
DISEASES, UNNATURAL DRAINS, cither day or llight, 
IMPAIRED VITALITY, etc 

DR. MlNTIE isa REGULAR PHYSICIAN GRADUATE 
OFTHEOLDESTCOLLEGEIN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known over the entire Pacific 
coast from his long and successful career in the practice 
of his specialty in this city, making cures in many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a term of years 

HOUSE PHYSICIAN, 
Or RESIDENT SURCEON, in the Orthopedic Hospital at 
Philadelphia, and he tvould say to Young Men wlio arc 
suffering from the effects of youthful follies and 

MIDDLE-AGED MEN who arc PREMATURELY OLD con- 
Suit one who has made your disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Doctor will agree to forfeit 51,000 for a case of this 
kind lie takes and fails to cure, 

DR. MlNTIE is sole proprietor of the now famous 
English remedy, the SIR A STLEtf COOPER VITAL RES- 
TORATIVE, which ho furnishes free to patients, 

CONSULTATION free. Thorough examination and 
advice including cheiuic.nl analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest opinion given in 
every case. 

Office Hours — 9 to 3 daily; evenings, 6 to 8 ; Sunday 
II to 1 only. Call or add ress, 

A. E. MXNTTE, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 

San Friutcisco, CaL 



ESTABLISHED, S. F„ 18CS. 




Jmomtg'yI 

THE MOST COMPLICATED CASES OF 

DEFECTIVE VISION 

Thoroughly diagnosed, free of charge, and all 
kinds of Lenses made to order. 

SPECTACLES, 

Their adaptation to the various conditions of 
sight have been my specialty for 3© Years. 

Compound Astigmatic Leiises 

Mounted to Order at Two Hours' Notice. 

C MULLER, 

OPTICIAN, 

135 Montgomery St., near Bush. 

Orders by Mail or Express promptly 
attended to. 



14 



THE WASP. 



Many humorous stories are told of Lorenzo Dow. 
He preached once from the test from St. Paul, "I 
can do all things." "No, Paul," he said, "you're 
wrong for once. I'll bet you $5 you can't," and he 
took a $5 bill from his pocket and laid it on the 
desk. He continued to read, "through our Lord 
Jesus Christ." "Oh, Paul," said he, "that's an 
entirely different tiling, the bet is off." "This," 
says an English writer, "beats any anecdote ever 
told of Spurgeon." 

"Beans Regarded as Food," is the heading in an 
exchange. That is the way beans should be re- 
garded. Any one who would regard beans as ja 
beverage would be away off. — N. Y. Graphic. 



MURPHY BUILDING 



COE. MARKET AND JONES STS. 



THE DUDE IN DISBEACE. 



WONDERFULLY CHEAP LINES 

. OFFERED BY 

J. J. O'BRIEN & CO. 



We respectfully invite the attention of our patrons and the 
public to the following a 

SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS ! 

All of which are entirely fresh and seasonable, and are offered at 
such low prices as render them 

Decided Attractions: 

100 Nigger-Head Tailor-Made Walking Jackets, in black, brown 
and blue, regular price 810 each, marked down to §5. 

100 Boucle Tailor-Made Walking Jackets, regular price §15, 
marked down to ST. 50 each. 

500 dozen Ladies' Extra Heavy Cotton Hose, split feet, regular 

price 35c, a pair, offered at 25c. 
500 dozen Ladies' Extra Heavy Fancy Stripe Cotton Hose, split ; 

feet, usual price 65c., offered at 33£c. 

200 dozen Ladies' 4, 6 and 8 Button Length Taffeta Gloves, regular 
price 75c., 85c. and $1 a pair ; the lot will be offered at 25c. a 
pair. 

150 dozen 8-Button Length Pure Silk Jersey Gloves, regular price 
S1.50 a pair, offered at 50c. 



COUXTR\ ORDER DEPARTMENT. 

Our Country Order Department is now fully organized, and we 
take pleasure in stating that our patrons are offered advantages 
not presented elsewhere, our stock being the largest on the coast, . 
entirely fresh and new, samples of which we shall he glad to 
forward for comparison to any part of the State. 

J. J. O'BRIEN & CO. 

Murphy^Buildiiig ;, 

COR. MARKET AND JONES STS. 




ART PAINTED, 
ENCAUSTIC, 
GLAZED AND 
PLAIN. 





For 
FLOORS.WALLS, 
HEARTHS AND | 
MANTEL FAC- 
INGS. 



W. W. MONTAGUE & CO. 

MANTELS, GRATES, FENDERS, ANDIRONS, 

HOT AIR FURNACES, 

809, 311, 313, 315, 317 market street, 

(Between Beale and Fremont,) 
SAN FEANCI8C0. 



He Insists on Paying a Big Enough. Fine. 




The first prisoner was a well-dressed 
young man who gave his name as George 
Tabor. He seemed considerably put out at 
sight of so many spectators, and leaning over 
the railing he whispered to his Honor: 

•'Cawn't you try mo in private, you know?" 

"Cawn't do it," replied the court. 

"But I don't like to stand up before such 
acrowd.'' 

"Poor child, how sensitive you are! "Why 
didn't you think of these things before you 
got drunk, and lay down on the atreet last 
night?" 

"Fellow cawn't help his failings, you 
knaw. "Was out to a champagne supper, 
Probably took too much. Probably ought 
to have gone home in a carriage, you knaw." 

*' You. were very drunk, sir, and you ought 
to be ashamed of yourself. I regard it as a 
great disgrace.'' 

"Oh, as to that, you knaw, all the bloods 
get dizzy now and then. Cawn't see where 
the disgrace comes in— weally, I cawn't. I 
expect to pay a fine, you know." 

"Oh, you do? Well, you'll pay one. I 
shall fine you $5.'* 

" Too cheap, your Honaw. "Weally, but 
that's a scrub fine." 

"Then I make it $10." 

"That's better, you knaw, but it's only 
what a tough would have to pay." 

" Then I'll Bay $15." 

"Weally, your Honaw, but I couldn't go 
below $20, you knaw. Every blood should 
be willing to pay $20. Hero's a $20 bill, 
your Honaw, and I will now bid you— ah— a 
good-day— ah.'' 

And he bowed and scraped and took his 
hat and cane and departed.— [Detroit Free 
Press. 



The Reason Why. 

Some of the railways down this way are 
still a little shaky. The old Jerkwarter line 
is especially loose in the joints. A com- 
mercial traveller who came in yesterday 
relates a little experience while bounding 
over the road. 

11 We were whooping along," he said, " at 
the rate of about seven miles an hour, and 
the old train was weaving terribly. Passen- 
gers were rolling from one end of the car 
to the other. 1 held on like grim death to 
the arms of my seat. Presently we settled 
down to the quiet running — at least I could 
keep my hat on and my teeth didn't chatter. 
The conductor was in hailing distance. I 
'o-iked up with a ghastly smile, wishing to 
I >ok cheerful, and said: 

■' 'We are going a little smoother, I see.' " 

1 ' ' Yes,' " said the conductor, " ' we're off 
the tracknow." '—[Lexington (Ga.) Castanet. 



Medical Item. 



Uncle Mose met Mrs. Lindley Murray. 

" How am your son coming on ?" asked the 
African. 

" He is doing very well. He is a student 
at the medical department of the University 
of Texas." 

"You don* tolo me bo?" 

"Yes, and he will graduate next year." 

"And den he will be a doctor?" 

"Yes, Uncle Mose." 

" Why, de Lor', your son am too young to 
be a sure enough doctor. I reckon he is 
only a doctor for childruns." 



"Say, Bromley, let's take something." "That's 
an old chestnut, Darringer, my boy. You want me 
to assent, then you'll say, l Let's take a walk.' If 
it's something to make me feel high, then count me 
in." "All right, Bromley. Let's take an elevator." 
— Philadelphia Call. 

The best time for a young man to take his girl 
sleighing is during a "driving snowstorm." He 
can use both his arms to hold his girl in the sleigh, 
and let the snow storm do the "driving." — Noi-ris- 
tenon Herald. 




POSITIVE CURE 

for every form of 

SKIN and BLOOD 

DISEASE 

FROM 

PIMPLES TO SCROFOLA. 



UCZEMA, or Salt Rheum, with its agonizing itching and burn- 
^* ing, instantly relieved by a warm bath with Cuticora Sqap 
and a single application of Cuticpba, the great Skin Cure. 

This repeated daily, with two or three doses of CrmcrmA 
Rksolvbnt, the New Blood Purifier, to keep the blood cool, the 
perspiration puie and unirritating, the bowels open, the liver and 
kidneys active, will speedily cure 

Eczema, Tetter, Ringworm, Psoriasis, Lichen, Pruritus, Scall 
Head, Dandruff, and every species of Itching, Scaly and Pimply 
Humors of the Skin and Scalp, with Loss of Hair, when the best 
phvsitians and all known remedies faiL 

Sold everywhere. Price, Cuticura, 60 cents ; Soap, 26 cents 
Resolvent, SI. Prepared by Potter Drug and Chemical Co. 
Boston, Mass. 

B3T Send for " How to Cure Skin Diseases." 

Kidney Pains, StrainB and Weakness instantly relieved 
by the CtmcuaA Anti-Pain Plaster. New, elegant, in- 
fallible. 



m 




ForoneofDr. HORNE'S Electric Belts that eannotb* 
recharged and the Electricity felt Instantly by the par 
tlentany time without cost. Can be applied to all part* 
of the body. Whole family can wear it. It Electrifle* 
the blood and cures when all else fall?. Monev refunded 
If not found aa above. BEWARE OF WORTHLESS 80- 
ea-lled Electric, Galvanic or Magnetic Belts, Shields and 
Appliances that are being foisted on the public, as they 

fosBPSs no power and cannot be charged by the patient. 
T CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE- Pains in the Back, 
Bead, Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility. Lumbago, Gen- 
eral Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis, Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ica, Diseases of Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Gout, Asthma, Heart Disease, Dyspepsia, Constipation, 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, Impotency, Catarrh, Pile*. 
Epilepsy. Ague, Diabetes, etc, Ag'ent* WvnUa, Send 
•amp for Pamphlet. 

Dr. w. j. h4ju«e, /."f? -^ssr- 

702 Market street, Snu Francisco, Cal. 

rDEJBLmOli} MM. 

You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use 
of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt wltn Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the spet'dy relief and per- 
manent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and 
Mantwod, and all kindred troubles. Also Tor many 
other diseases. Complete restorot czi to Hea'tth, Vigor, 
and Manhood guaranteed. No ris As .ncuvred. Illus- 
trated pamphlet in scaled envelope n lied iree, by ad- 
dressing VOLTAIC BELT CO.. Kt: -shall* Ittich. 




uptur: 



^Positively cured in 60 days bj 
Hornet* Elcctro-Mucnctlt 
Uult-TruHd, combined. Guaran- 
teed the only one in the world 
"~ generating a continuous £lrctric& Map 
''hetic Current. Scientific. Powerful, Durable 
Comfortable and Effective m curing Rup- 
ture. Price Reduced, r'.ni) cured in *:t Send I'm- paniphle 
EXECTRO-MAGNKTIC TRUSS COMPANY 
70S Market Stekkt, San Fkakcispo 



TYPE SETTING, etc. 
easy. Printed directions. 
For business, home use, or 
money making. For old or 
young. Sena 2 stamps for 
Catalogue of Presses, Type, 
Paper, Cards, Ac., to the 
factory. 

KEL9EY & CO. 
Aleriden* Conn. 




CARD PRESS SS.01 
Cir.CTJI.ATl SIZES 
BEWSPAFEB " $U r > 



e\t ff.WTee'WTee® 



A h Nervona _ 

^m=# Debility ^» Manhood 

ifavorite prescription of a noted specialist (nowro* 
tired.) Dru"(zists can All ft. Address 

0*. W«RD * CO-, T.JH0ISIANA, Md 



Lost EK Weakness 

V and Decay 



TO MM fnm 



3 suffering from the ef- 
Ifects of youthful er- 

lrors, early decay, lost 

_"anhood, etc. I will send you a valuable treatise upon 
the above diseases.also directions for sel f-cure, free of 
charge. Address Prof, F. 0. FOWLER, MqoduB, Conn. 



THE WASP. 



15 



I^IiJ^Lr^ltlTtJS I1X FTJIfcS. 



ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 

:no Saiuome irtreeti Ssan Francisco* 
W ■■ <► ■' I'M A I, E. 

PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 

A First-class Restaurant for Ladlee and Gentlemen. lU Sutter struct, between Kearny and Mont- 
gomery. San Francisco, E. R. PEEB.IN, Proprietor. 

BUS I NESS Tlu - MOB* Popular hi*Iioo1 on 

COLLEGE, tteCaatt. 

24 Post St. S. F. For Circulars, Address 

Send for Circular. K . ■». |||: ATI* & CO, 



IMS 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 



[.Ml'UllTKUH AMi IiKaLULs IN 



Book, News, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

CARD STOCK, STRAW AM) lUM>l;itS' IIOAItl>. ETC. 

Manufacturers 61 Patent Maehine-nnule Paper Ua^s. 

SIS to 516 Sacramento St., - . SAN iium is<<(. 



"W^l. UST T X±! ID 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Good Terms Offered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN BROS. 

IMPORTERS OF 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN STREET, STOCKTON, CAL. 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 



OF STOCKTON, CAL, 



Capital Surplus, 



$300,000.00 



H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Fkaser, Cashier 
General Banking BuBinesa 



CORBIN HARROWS 

Sole Agents 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

Importers of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY" 

280 ji 282 Main Street Stockton 



HORSE MEDICINE 

H. H. MOORE & SONS. Proprietors 

Stockton, Cal. 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS, STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 

SEATING CAPACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Complete Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY.GOODS 



185 Hunter Street 



Stockton, Oal. 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Cures Rhcumati3m, Neuralgia, Headache, Sprains, Bruises, 
Sore Throat, Colds, Kidney troubles, etc, A Specific for 

Croup. Try It ! Try It ! For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 50c. and SI per bottle. Address 

W. M. HICKMAN. DRUGGIST. STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers- of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 

And Wooden Tanks of all Sizes 

Also Superior Deep-Well Pumps 
Blacksniithtng and General Jobbing. Orders from the Country 

promptly attended. N.E, Cor, California^. Market St. Stockton 



J. H. O'BRIEN 

Wholesale Dealer in 

FINE WINES and LIQUORS 

224 Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Miller Extra Eastern Whiskies, Imported Brandies, BetbeBda 

Water, English Ale and Porter, 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private Asylum for the cure and treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 



ASA CLARK. M. D., Propr and Supt. 



GRAY'S 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

itSTPeraonal attention given to orders by mail for anything 
in the drug or medicine line. J. D. GRAY, 176 Main St,, 
Stockton. (27 years in the business,) 



SYLVESTEK & HAREOLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom, 250 & 252 Main Street, Stockton 

Factory on Main St. bet. Grant & Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory in the San Joaquin Valley 



L 



H. C. SHAW, PLOW WORKS 
agricultural implements 

201 fc 203 EL DORADO STREET STOCKTON 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain and Produce 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Orders solicited and promptly filled. All kinds of Seeds for 



Post Office Box 279. 



YOSEMITE HOUSE 

Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 
The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rates— §2.00 to S3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH & WRENCH, Proprietors 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L. K. HAMMER 

820 J Street - - - Sacramento 
Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



, E. Cor. Fifth and J i 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 

Established, 1852. Wholesale Dealers in 

Produce and Fruit. Commission Merchants 

126 and 128 J Street. Sacramento, Cal. 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 
Baby Carriages Etc. 

629 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, OAL. 



W. F. PETERSON 

MANUFACTURING CONFECTIONER 

Importer and. Jobber in all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuts 

Fancy Boxes, etc. 

618 and 620 J St. Sacramento, Cal. 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints, Oils and Glass. 
Proprietors of Pacific Color Works. Acme Rubber Paint a 
specialty 915, 917 and 919 Second St., Sacramento, Cal. 




L. L. LEWIS & CO. 

STOVES AND RANGES 

IMPORTERS OF CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE 

502 and 504 J Street, Sacramento. 



THE FINEST BEER IN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BREWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 

Cor. 16th and K Sis. Sacramento, Cax. 

Orders promptly attended to. 



A. H POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents for Dr. Mott's Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett SpriDKS Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or in case 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 

Special care given to Country Onlers 



MRS. E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 
Branch House. 419 K St,, Metropolitan Theater Building. 

Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer of the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lemon 



A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing. Robes. Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St., Sacramento. 



-.'.'. :J.V'^--'-, 




H 
X 

m 

> 

CO 



r J!ittttlJ!itt 5 FJUSMUtl KJSiSTAUKAJNT 



KKIVAIt KUUIYI5 & BANIJUtl HALL. 
Telephone *«.>. 



12 & 14 U H'arrell 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COMl'AN y, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS., S. F. 

M.iii'ii.i turon "i in.! D«Uen In 

FURNITURE, BEDDING & UPHOLSTERY, 

Wooden Mantels and llnnln 1 

House Finish a Specialty, 

I i.m ■■; \gt . • ■■■■■■■■i ■.-. u.\ on ii vnii mo 



Article Warranted and Satlsfactic 
< tuamntefld. 



< v ■ ii <>■: m t 



T 1-1 B 



TERRITORY CQHTROUED BY THE 
SAN FRANCISCg^j^-OFFICE 

* \altOHA ^ - 

°^"tyI sewing MACHINE C 2 

/ 634 MARKETS? SAN FRANCISCO. 



hew home; 



I*&ffi6 




AGENTS WANTED 
in Dnoccapletl Territory. 






\%^E\ 



JESSE MOORE & (OS 

Kentucky Whiskies. 



Sugar Refinery. O 



RTORE YOUR FURNITURE J P,AN E ^., T ^ NKS 



(All H> It MA ST(llt\l.l 

Xcxi to Grand Opera House. 



WAREHOUSE, 

Advances made. 



.).) 11IS>I<>\ 
<ww NTKEKT. 



OlhYe, .'!--'7 Market street. 
REFIXEIIY. FOTItEllO. 



CLAUS SPRECKELS President 

J. D. SPRECKELS Vice-President 

A. It. SPRECKELS Secretary 




KOHLER & CHASE, 

137 & 1S» POST STREET, 

AGENTS FOR TIIK 

CELEBRATED IVERS & POND 

ttO in constant use in \c\v K upland 
Conservatory of JIusic. 



w.t. coleman & co. pQMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 



SHIPPING AND 

Commission Merchants, 

S.E. cor. Market and Tlai n Sts. 
SAN FRANCISCO. 

" Fashionable and llts him like a 
Glove." 

Such was the criticism on one of 



TOILET AND LAUNDRY SOAPS, WASHINC POWDER, ETC., ETC. 

Office, 223 Sacramento St., - - San Francisco, Cal. 

IIAIilV A LIBBEY, Managers. 



FAMILY BAKERY and 
r DINING SALOON. 

MARI<FT i Families supplied with Wedding Take, 
ivir\nrvL- i , -\ Ice c Peanii oygters Jellies. «lc. 



SWAIN'S 
ftQf! MARKEV f ,.,...„,, ,. , . ,....^ ., 
\JUVJ Opp. Palace Hotel. G S. HALL. PROPRIE" l ,. 

f£L™"™£. SUPERIOR STAR * COAL. 



Customer's as he left that Tailor's 
Establishment. 

SUITS FROM $20 
PANTS _^ $6 

20S Montgomery street, 

724 Market street, 
11 lO and 1112 Market street, 

11 and 13 Turk street. 

John M. Curtis, 

(Late CURTIS & BENNETT,) 

AKCHITECT, 

5 'is California St. Rooms H and 15. 

JOHN B. MclNTYRE, 

book: bijntder 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 

423 Clay and 422 Commercial Sts. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



GERMEA 

FOR BREAKFAST, 

DELICIOUS. 
It! TRY IT! 



Better than all others lor Family Use. Less Smoke or Soot. Charm- 
ins for the Parlor and the Kitchen. Tell your Dealer that you must 
have STAB COAL. 



Main Okfick, 106 to 112 Mission St. 




FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, 

309, 311 Front St., San Francisco 

Tiik Best and Purest ok California Wines 
and Brandies. 



JOHN MIDDLETON, 

14 Post, and S. W. cor. Powetl & Sutter. 




ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

Commence the \ew Year right, 

Economize in every way possible, 
Buy a BURR BED as a starter 

and Save Kent. 

BURR FOLDING BED GO. 

«0« MAltlCKX STREET. 



Bed OpOl 




404 FRONT STREET, SAN FRANCISCO. 



DEWEESE, Jr., Sun Francisco. 

II. 9IOORE. of Jesse Moore & 



Co.. Louisville, Ky. 
II. it. HI \'i- San Francisco. 

W. G. BADGER, 

kui.f. AGENTS POB 

HALLETT, DAVIS & CO'S 

Celebrated 

PIANOS, 

Geo. Woods & Co's Parlor and Vestry Organs, 
13 Sansome street, S. F. 




HAS REMOVED. 

HOME MUTUAL INS. CO. 

NOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
No. 210 Sansome street. 

East side, bet. California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more commodious offices. 

21st Annual Exhibit, Jan. 1, 1HS5 

Premiums since orgairzation $5,021,759 52 

Losses since organization 2,118,501 84 

Assets, Jan. 1, 1885 856,058 22 

Surplus for Policv Holders 825,963 08 

Income 1884 484,016 73 

Capital, paid-up, Gold 300,000 00 

Reinsurance Reserve 275,157 07 

Net Surplus over everything 250,S06 61 

President J. F. HOUGHTON 

Vice-President J. L. N. SHEPARD 

j Secretary CHARLES R. STORY 

■ General Agent R. H. MAGILL 




Instantaneous Photographs, 

1025 I.AItKI\ STREET, 

Corner of Sutter, SAN FRANCISCO. 

THE NEVADA BANK 

Or SAN FRANCISCO. 

Capital paid up, $3,O00,OOO. 

Agency at New York, C2 Wall street. 

Agency at Virginia, Nevada. 

Buys and sella Exchange and Telegraphic 
Transfers. Issues Commercial and Travelers' 
Credits. 

LONDON, PARIS AND AMERICAN BANK 

LIMITED, 

205 Sansome street, 

Subscribed Capital . . : . . $2,500,000 00 

Paid up Capital £=2,000.000 00 

Reserve Fund $50,000 00 

DAVID CAHN Manager 

EUGENE MEYER Sub-Manager 

Head Office : 
f) and 10 Tokenhouse Yard, Lothbury, London. 

APFTSTpTFe. I Paris-10 rue St. Cecil©. 

AbL.fCwi&b-j New York-40 Exchange place. 

This Bank transacts a general Bunking and 
Exchange business, issues Letters of Credit and 
Travelers' Credits, available in the principal 
cities of the world. 

ANGLO-NEVADA 
Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

FIRE <Se MARIIVE. 

SB HSCRIBED CAPITAL §2,000,000. 

Office: 410 Pine street. 

W. GREER HARRISON, President and Manager 

J L FLOOD Vice-President 

C. P. FARNFIELD Secretary 

J. S. ANGUS Assistant Manager 

Bankers—The Nevada Bank of 
San Francisco. 



A<fopted1876. ORIGINAL Re^st=re[i1S77 

: '® BUDWEISER <@ 



I HI l\/RF PHELAN BLOCK, 

L.V/ \J V Ii t.< Cor. Ituoont. 



On Draught 

only at the ^v^ x^ w ■ »fc"j 

.Mills <;i!l i;>. Proprietor. 



pnAMpU ST. ANN'S BUILDING, 

DnMllVrl) .lun. Eddy anil Powell. 
JULIUS GRUEN & MAX VOGELSLANG, Prop'tors 



MAYES 



J OYSTER SALOON! DEALS EXCLUSIVELY IN OYSTERS 



A3>TD I>ET»OT. 



40 CALIFORNIA MARKET, entrance on California St. 



DANICHEFF KID GLOVES. No . hSdupon? street 



CD 

m 

r 

O 

z 



DR. ZEILE'S HAMMAM, 



(Established 1852.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best BATHS on the 
Pacific Coast. Turkish, Russian, Steam, Sulphur or Medicated Baths 
for Ladies and Gentlemen. All on the ground floor (no basement). 



522 to 528 



PACIFIC ST. 

Near KEABUJIf. 



/ETNA SPRINGS SODA. PUR « E , 



NATURAL MINERAL WATER. 



Office: 7*7.1 HOWARD STREET. 



For Sale Everywhere. 

TRY IT. 



CD 
X/l 



FIRE. MABIIVE. 

The Largest Pacific Coast Insurance Co. 



OF CALIFORNIA. 

ASSETS 44,500,000 

HOME OFFICE: 
S.W. cor. California and Saiisome, 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

D. J. Staples President 

Alpiieus Bull '. Vice-President 

Wm. J. Duttos , .Secretary 

E. W. Carpenter Assistant Secretary 

HUTCHINSON & MANN 

INSURANCE AGENCY, 

N. K. cor. California A Sansoiue. 

CASH ASSETS REPRESENTED £23,613,618 

H. M. Newhall & Co. 
SHIPPING & COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

General Agents of 

TV AT IONAL 

Assurance Co. of Ireland. 

ATLAS 

Assurance Co. of London. 

BOYLSTON 

Mutual Ins. Co. of Boston. 

309 SANSOME STREET. 

It AX KS ALL ! 
The Oia Reliable 

MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE CO. 

Of New York. 

A. B. FORBES, 

General Agent for the Pacific Coast. 
Jit SAXKO.HF. STREET. 




R.H.M c Donald 

—PRESIDENT. — 

RHM c DonaldJ ! 



fcS.G.Mnipliy. 

II CASHIER J 




. rtlen Hose iu> cents 

Jieiv «as ami Oil Stoves. ..SI to *!> 
Xew Electric Oil Torches, *»4 each 

W. E. LATVE, 

Plumbing' WeSI l>oue. 

505 KEARNY STREET. 



THROAT, 
CATAKBH, 

It will Cure I 

CONSUMPTION. 

Post Office Box 1886. 




LTJIVGS-S, 

FEVERS. 




For Conghs, Colds, Whoop- 
ing Conghs and all Throat 
Affections it has no equal. 



Address, Patented Feb. 20, 1883. 

VALENTINE 11 ASS.1IKK. 933 Washington St. cor. Powell, S. F. 



GIVE THY SON A LIBERAL EDUCATION." 

PACIFIC BUSINESS pOLLEGE 
LIFE MEMBERSHIP ^»SEND FOR 1 m oqq POST 

ONLY $70. %0 CIRCULAR.^ *J<SVf ST. 



GEO. C. SHREVE & CO. 

Sole Agents in California for the Sale of 

ROGERS, SMITH & CO'S PLATED WARE. 

Offer Full I, i ncs oi* these Desirable Goods 
sit Very JLow Prices. 

MONTGOMERY AND SUTTER STREETS. 

Dr. Gates' Turkish and Russian Steam Baths. 
ELECTRICITY APPLIED ! BEST SHAMPOOINC ! 



TiZiZ MONTGOMERY ST., 



near Washington. 



PUTNAM HOUSE, AUBURN, CAL. 




THE COCOA CROP is SHORT 

LOOK OUT FOR ADULTERATIONS ! 
BY USINO 

WALTER BAKER & CO.'S 

CHOCOLATE 

Yon will be sure of securing 
THE BEST! 

WM. T. COLEMAN & CO. 

SOLE VI.LVTS 



Home for Invalids, Tourists, and Pleasure-Seekers. Auburn is known as the healthiest town in 
California. The climate is peculiarly adapted to lun£ diseases, etc., while the surroundings of the 
PUTNAM assures recreation to all. Terms moderate. JOH X <ji ASSXER, Prop'r. 



TJ&m OINLY 

J^ T^ IX 13 ^ Tt T> 

MACHINE LOADED 
SHOTGUN CARTRIDGES. 

CHEAPEST AND BEST ! 




PATENT COVERS 



FILING THE WASP. 



Subscribers wishing' to preserve their Back 
Numbers can have our 

PATENT COVERS 

sent to any part of the United States by sending 
Fifty Cents. 



THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 

538 California Street. 



OCEANIC STEAMSHIP CO. 
J. D. Spreckles & Bros., 

3J57 market Street, 

OWNERS OF 

SPRECKLES' LINE OF PACKETS 
Packages A Freight to Honolulu 

NAPA SODA SPRINCS. 

THE GEM OF NAPA VALLEY. 
1000 FEET HIGH. 
PRINCE OF PLEASURE RESORTS 
HOT SODA WATER BATHS. 
SWIMMING POOL IN NATURAL 
ROCKY BED. 

Hotel Always Open. 



- MANUFACTURERS OF 

LABE LS & SHOW CARDS- 
"^"^1 BOX BRANDS.Enn 

21-31 MAIN SIM SM\ ft&Nti&ft 



SHIRTS TO ORDER, J. W. CARMANY, 25 KEARNY STREET. 



t 



1 




niLTME XVI. 



XI 'M USB -J. 



Price y 



SAN FRANCISCO, SATURDAY, JANUARY 16, 1886. 



-j lO CENTS. 



REPRESENTING THE /W s AND MANUFACTURES OF 



I CHI BAN 



free Exhibition 

PARENT OF THE f-AKJOUS |VeE BAp Of CHICAGO. OPP05,TE PALACE H0TEL "MASONIC™ 





CH AS. I. H AVE NS, 

ARCHITECT, 

Formerly Schmidt & Havens, 

121 POST ST., Rooms 27-2S,overO'Con1ior, Moffatt& Co. 

Sax Francisco. 



"EXCELSIOE 
C. 


!" "EXCELSIOE!" 

ZINNS, 


FASHIONABLE TAILOR, 


5 MONTGOSI 


ery Street (Masonic Temple), 
SAN FRANCISCO. 



BEST ROLLER Made 

STARR'S. EXTRA, 

18 TUB FINEST FliOVK TO USB. 

STARR & CO. - 16 California St., San Francisco. 



GEORGE MORROW & CO. 

(Established 1854), 

Hay, Grain and Commission Merchants, 

SHIPPING ORDERS A SPECIALTY, 
33 Clay Street, - - - San Francisco. 



E 


. M 


ARTIN 


& 


CO. 


Importe 

"Argonaut," 
Extra, 


rs and Wholesale Liquor Dealers. 

"J. F. Cutter" and "Miller's 
" Old Bourbon Whiskies. 


403 


Frost Street, 


San 


•"rancisco. 



COOKS BROS. 

WALL PAPER AND FRESCOING, 

Parquet Floors, Imitation Stained Glass, 

10S Post Street, San Francisco. 



J. D. BARR & SON, 

323 Bush Street, next to Bush-street Theater, and 

932 Market Street, next to Baldwin Theater, 
Manufacturers and Importers of 

Umbrellas, Walking Canes, Parasols, Etc. 

The most extensive establishment on the Pacific Coast. 





EIRE AND BUEGLAE-PEOOF 








SAFES. 




M 


I G H E 


LL & RICHARD 


s, 




Cor. Mari 


et and Davis Sts., San Francisco. . 





A. O. COOK & SON, 
-- TRADE N^ 

<f;:.. .■■:'... mark. >^~ 
LEATHER BELTING, 

415 Market Street, San Francisco. 



GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER. 

DRINK 

African Stomach Bitters. 

Most Agreeable Tonic Ever Prepared. 



AMMEN'S COUGH SYRUP, 

The Great Remedy for 

COUGHS, COLDS, ETC., ETC. 
Ask Your Druggist for It. 



AMERICAN EXCHANGE HOTEL, 

SANSOME STREET, S. F. 
The traveling public will find this to be the most con- 
venient as well as the most comfortable and respectable 
Hotel in the city. Board and room Si, $1.25 and 81.50 per 
day. None but most obliging white labor employed. Free 
Coach to and from the Hotel. 

MONTGOMERY BROS. Proprietors. 



" WHITE 


HOUSE " 


WHISKIES 


Holland Gin, 
etc 


French Brandies 
, in Bond or Duty 


Port, Sherry, 
Paid. 


GEORGE STEVENS, 


,318 Front St., Room 2, 


San Francisco. 



F. DANERI & CO. 

IMPORTERS and WHOLESALE GEOCEES, 

AGENTS FOR THE FAMOUS 

FERNET-BRANCA, 

27 & 29 California St., bet. Davis & Drumm. 



GO TO THE 

TERRAPIN OYSTER HOUSE 

IS STOCKTON ST. 

Private Dining Rooms up stairs. Open all night. 



-<►— ^ 



M. MEUSSDORFFER'S HATS are " THE " STYLES.™' ":;S5lffr™ 



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Q 



THE CELEBRATED 

CHAMPAGNE WINES 

Of Messrs. DEUTZ & GELDERMAN, 
Ay, en Champagne. 



CACHET BLANC, Tres Sec, 

Extra Dry, in Cases, Quarts and Pints. 

Cabinet Green Seal, 

In Baskets, Quarts and Pints. 

Bordeaux l&ed snul White 

Wines, 

In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Hock Wines, 

In Cases, from G. M. Pabstn ami Sohn, Mainz. 



GHAS. MEINEGKE & GO. 

Importers ami Sole Agents, 
314: SACRAMENTO STREET, S.F. 

PHOTOGRAPHER, 

8 Montgomery St., San Francisco 

Veuve Clicquot 

(Yellow Label) 

CHAMPAGNE. 

Quarts and Pints. 
SOLE A«E\T, 

429 and 431 Battery St., S.F. 



J. V. LAWREXCE, 

Carpenter and Ruilder. \o. <»1!> 

Sacramento street, S. F. 

Cabinet Work and Pitting Up Offices promptly 
attended to. Telephone No. 900. 



TOE THE BEST IltPBOVED 

ARTIFICIAL LIMBS 

ADDRESS 

MENZO SPRING. 

?l 9 Geary St. |J 

g| SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. |j 
S OFPICE 6, £ 



BECHSTEIN 

Grand and Upright Pianos. 

GENERAL AGENT FOE PACIFIC COAST, 

j\_. W.ALDTKTJFEL, 

737 Market street. Si. F. 

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. 





Imitated by Many, 

Equaled by None. 

GENERAL AGENT, 

No. 29 POST ST. 



THE LARGEST 

Lager Beer 

BREWERY 

OX THE PACIFIC COAST. 



JOHN WIELAND, 

PROPRIETOR, 

Second street, near Folsom, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



Q CAPITAL 

stock: 
$200,000. 



STOCK 



OUR LAGER BEER IS 
BREWED BY THE NEW 
METHOD AND WAR- 
RANTED TO KEEP IN 
ANY CLIMATE. 





In Bulk or Bottle, Superior 
to any on the Pacific Coast. 



RUDOLPH MOHR, Sec') 



Patronize l-loioa© ZE 3 :roca.-u-0"t±oia.- 



CARTE 
BLANCHE. 

IMPERIAL 

CABINET, 

Pure stnci 

Delicious. 

,5 



CELEBRATED CALlFOIliMA 




Jos. Fredericks 

& CO. 

619 & 651 Market St. 

FURNITURE 

and CARPETS. 

Latest Desisms. 



THE BOSS 



For Sale uy 



PACIFIC SAW MANUFACTURING CO 

17 A 19 Fremont St., S.F. 



Complete with Pacific Saw Manufacturing Com- 
pany's Extra Blade, set and filed ready 
for work, *1..>0 each. 



BEFORE BUYING YOUR 

SAFE 

Call and -see our large stock. 
Second-hand Safes always 
on hand. Safes sold on the 
Installment Plan. 

HALL'S SAFE AND LOCK COMPANY, 

311 <St 213 California St., S. F. 



S.A.TJL.M.A.IYIV'S 

RESTAURANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

530 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered daily. Cakes made to 
Order. Sole Agent for RUSSIAN CAVIAR atid 
WESTPHALIA HAMS. Gorman Sausages. 

A. REITSCHE. 

J. D. SPRECKELS & BROS. 

SHIPPING AI\I» 




m~ superior to aii in richness & quality, -gar Commission Merchants. 



STORAGE 



for FFRXITIIIE, PIAXOS and other 
Goods, at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
HOUSE, 735 Market St. Advances 
made. J, M . p|ERCE. 



AGENTS FOR 

Spreckels' Line of Hawaiian Packets, S. S. 

Hepworth's Centrifugal Machines, Reed's 

Patent Pipe and Boiler Covering. 



S TEINWAY. 



Ooultle Triumph at I Ion. 1885. 

Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
Grand Gold Medal by the Society of Arts for " Best Pianos 
and several meritorious and useful Inventions. 

M. OR AY, 200 Po«l slrcct, S. F. 





CENTRAL 



113 GEARY ST., above Dupoiit, S. F. 

The most comfortable, cheapest and eleanest Hot and Cold Water Baths in the city with Hot 
or Cold Showers. Salt "Water, Sulphur and liran Baths. Try them. 

L. CORRIYEAU, Proprietor. 



W M d. LEMP'S we It te l ^ re :o ry ' 




BOKER'S 
BITTERS 

Used as a TOXIC and COCKTAIL 
BITTER 

SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

For Sale by all Wholesale Dealers and in all 
First-class Saloons. 

WILLIAMS, DIMOND & CO. 

SHIPPING A3fl> 

Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
Junction Markel & Pine streets, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

AGENTS FOR 
Pacific Mail S. S. Co.; the Pacific Steam Naviga- 
tion Co. ; the Cunard Royal Mail S. S> Co. ; the 
Hawaiian Line: the China Traders' Insurance 
Co. (limited); the Marine Insurance Co. of 
London ; the Baldwin Locomotive Works ; the 
Glasgow Iron Co, ; Nich, Ashton & Son's .Salt. 




Or* 
fc-l- 

r- 



.& 



c 

r? 

at 

I 



DRINK 

f.FI F RRATED 

■ IIIIMMllliyillUMWIIiyMIII 



GEYSER SODA 



SPARKLING NATURAL 
MINERAL WATER. 



ifoet^P 



JAN FRANCISCO, 



SATURDAY, JANUARY 16, 



188C. 



' ■ - 













PUNISH THE DEFAMERS OF THE 



SCHMfDT LABEL 5c LITHD ( 

DEAD. 



THE WASP. 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



There is a man in Oakland so mean that when he 
is asked to join hi singing "Old Hundred" churns 
off "Ninety and Nine" instead. He says he has 
got to make one per cent. , anyway, these hard times. 

One of our Fish Commissioners says the other two 
are liars. The gentleman is hard to satisfy. If the 
amateur fisherman is permitted to monkey with the 
facts, what wild romances may we not expect from 
those who deal in scaly statistics as a business. 



in exchange for his possessions. KingK. has cabled 
eight hundred words to Secretary Bayard about the 
matter and the chances are we'll have an interna- 
tional imbroglio over this tiling yet. 



Some vandal tourist has stolen the famous stone 
from Blarney Castle, and just as the Irish elections 
were coming on, too. 



It is all very well for General Crook to telegraph 
for more troops and bloodhounds to exterminate the 
Arizona Indians, but it is impossible for the thought- 
ful spectator of Bound the World in Eighty Days as 
performed at the California, not to perceive that all i 
this fuss is unnecessary. In the production referred j 
to a couple of languid gentlemen, in fur-lined ulsters, ' 
walk calmly across the stage mowing down the sail- j 
guinary redskins witli their small caliber nickel- ! 
plated pistols. And these savages, mind you, get 
paid fifty cents a night for their "red deviltry," 
while the Arizona breed are purely volunteers, so 
we are informed. In fact the brace of dead-shots 
referred to create such devastation that when the 
U. S. troops arrive to their rescue in time for the 
tableau, there is only one spavined old half-breed, 
with a tin tomahawk, down by the footlights left to 
shoot. Now why not ship these gentlemen to the 
front without delay. In fact, why not send about 
nine-tenths of the actors now engaged in holding 
down the Keamy-street pavement with such com- 
mendable assiduity. We could lay our hand on a 
few hundred "professionals" withtn sound of our 
pen the sight of whom would make the Apaches feel 
very sick indeed. Let them start at once. 



A Chicago man made his wife a nice New Year's 
present this time. He had all her divorces elegantly 
bound in red morocco, with an illuminated title page. 



WITH A BIG MORAL. 

A pointed illustration of the folly of trying to get I 
along without advertising — and particularly adver- ! 
tising in the Wasp — occurred here recently. A very j 
clever English writer sojourning in our midst de- I 
cided to deliver a lecture on "Literary Life in \ 
London." He didn't desire any newspaper assist-; 
ance, he said, as he wished the lecture to be a success [ 
on its own merits. 

So he hired Irving hall and on the evening ap- 
pointed repaired thither attired in full evening dress j 
and with his portfolio lecture under his arm. The . 
audience didn't arrive. Eight o'clock passed — eight ! 
fifteen — eight thirty — but no one invaded the bril- ; 
liantly lighted but empty chamber. At last his j 
heart was gladdened by the sound of faint footsteps 
and peeping through the curtain he beheld two 
rather crummy-looking parties slink into the hall 
and take very back seats. 

After another half-hour the crushed lecturer ap- 
proached the pair of auditors and muttered some- 
thing about there being a mistake in the date — the 
lecturer had missed his train — money would be 
returned at the door — lecture to-morrow evening. 

" Lecter ! — wot lecter ? " asked one of the men. 

"Didn't you come here to hear the great lecture 
on ' Literary Life ? ' " asked the eminent writer. 

"Pardj" said one of the two, earnestly, "1 will 
not deceive yer. We've jest walked clear up from 
San Jose and as we is busted an' hain't no place ter 
go we thought we'd sneak in here over-night ter git 
oxiten ther weather." 

It was the last camel on the straw's back and they 
carried the lecturer home on a stretcher. 



The Piutes call the editor of the Benton Courier 
Ku-ti-no-how-wa, that is The-Man-Who-Lies-In- 
The-Morning. It is wonderful how our red brothers 
tumble, so it is. 



It will probably gladden the spirit of James Lick 
to. hear that " three nien are still employed at the 
Mount Hamilton observatory." "I want to be a 
trustee when I grow up," said the little boy. " Ever 
since pop was made a trustee we've had three kinds 
of pie for dinner. " Derrick Dodd. 



SOCIETY NOTES. 



After ail, what is more natural than for a Coroner 
to encourage the use of dynamite. 



We again warn smarty English tourists that their 
habit of traveling in California carrying only letters 
of credit instead of good hard cash is liable to pro- 
duce trouble. If they think that our road agents 
are going to monkey around on some windy road all 
night waiting for a stage and then get nothing for 
their pains they are way off, and so we tell them. 
Up on the Ukiah high-grade last week the genial 
and popular "Night-hawk Ned" stood up a stage 
with only one passenger, an Englishman, who re- 
marked with the greatest impudence : 

"Sorry to put you to all tins trouble, my friend, 
but 3 haven't a sliilling. " 

"All! broke, are you?" said Ned, sarcastically, i 
" Well then I'll pass you tlu'ough ' dead-head.' " 

And he shot him. 



"The Philadelphia gas companies have adopted • 
the eight-hour system for their employe's." Now if ' 
our local company will stand in ancl adopt the eight- 
hour system as applied to its meters all will be well. \ 
There is a copper-riveted impression prevailing that ' 
San Francisco gas-meters work twenty-five hours out ] 
of the twenty-four, with only five minutes for lunch | 
and no Sundays off. 

It was a considerably battered-up young female 
they pulled out of the wreck of a telescoped train \ 
on the N. P. , the other day. 

"Never mind me," she gasped, "but look after j 
my bustle. It was the biggest one on the train — all j 
steel springs." 

When they rescued it three of its ribs were found 
to be broken, but as the terrible truth was mercifully j 
kept from her she is expected to pull through. 



No sooner was it definitely known that King 
Kalakaua wanted to sell his kingdom than old Mrs. 
McGobbs, out on Tehama street, wrote to His 
Majesty offering to give four dollars, a crazy quilt 
almost as good as new and a second-hand gas-stove 



The engagement is announced of Mr. Tobias 
Tumtoodle with his wife's deceased sister. In En- 
gland this marriage could not legally take place. 

Miss Cartilagina Driduppe has secured an engage- 
ment to Lieutenant Sappy Green, who has deposited 
a suitable forfeit, and the match is set for the first 
of April next. 

We are requested by Miss Yulgarine Verve to 
announce that the engagement between her and Mr. 
Checksute Straightflush is dissolved, at her instance. 

Mr. Checksute Straightflush begs us to say that 
he has canceled the engagement heretofore existing 
between himself and Miss Vulgarine Verve, for 
reasons best known to himself. 

It is reported that the engagement between Mr. 
Checksute Straightflush and Miss Vulgarine Verve 
is off. If so, we tender them severally our sincerest 
congratu 1 ations. 

The week's divorces included the following : 
Mrs. Gushia Sumper from Mr. Shutsole Sumper — 
failure to confide ; Mr. Mimosa Carew from Mrs. 
Pachydermia Carew — cold feet ; Mr. Cornudon Gope 
from Mrs. Levitie Gope — man across the way ; Mrs. 
Insomnia Bink from Mr. Porposus Bink— extreme 
snoring ; Mrs. Peltaba Jookins from Mr. Hydro- 
phobe Pliilofeculo Jookins — wouldn't wash his 
hands. 

The new but graceful fashion of displaying holiday 
presents at the New Year's Day receptions was gen- 
erally observed in this city, the gifts, with donors' 
names attached, being spread on a table, the same 
as in the case of weddings. As a rule, only those 
received by the hostess and her daughters, if she had 
daughters, were shown ; where the hostess was a 
-young lady the mother's presents were not displayed. 
In a few cases ladies " assisting " the hostess brought 
their presents and they were shown on a separate 
table. The custom is of so recent introduction, 
however, that its etiquette is in an unsettled state. 
It is growing in popularity with the ladies, though in 
one respect its practical advantages can never be so 
great as those of the similar custom with regard 
to wedding presents. Many holiday gifts, even 
those of considerable value, are of a perishable 



nature, intended for immediate consumption ; and 
those of that class given at Christmas are necessarily 
absent from the show ; so it does not follow that 
because one's name does not appear he has given 
nothing — lie is not convicted of stinginess and is 
entitled to the benefit of the doubt. It is not easy 
to see how this defect is to be repaired and the cus- 
tom made really productive and profitable. 

The doors of Mrs. Excrusia Hifine's hospitable 
mansion were thrown open on Wednesday evening 
last on the occasion of a visit from the police looking 
for the lady's distinguished husband. He had gone 
to the Springs. 

The wedding of Mr. Guiltage Q. Bondwump to 
Mrs. Houpla Doppelspiel (nee Sewerbloom) relict 
of the very Lite Katzenyammer Doppelspiel, was 
celebrated at the Church of St. Ceremony and for its 
aristocratic attendance — we were there ourselves, 

Mr. E. H. Sheldon will leave for Oakland on 
Monday next. 

The Fitz- Whickers think some of next weeking at 
Pescadero. 

Mr. Ned Greenway is considering a most advan- 
tageous offer from the manager of the Kiralfy troupe 
as dancing- master to El Mahdi. His recent success 
in the role of "Baptiste," at the Tevis house, en- 
courages liim to think that if El Mahdi should be 
gathered to his (El Mahdi's) fathers and a property 
elephant be substituted he (Mr. Greenway) might 
enact the hind legs. 

Mr. Hasede Buncobite, of Stanislaus, is not regis- 
tered at the Palace. 

Miss Pingkie Gumchu Cmythe has asked our 
reporter not to forget that party next week at which 
she is to make her debutte. See her mother's ad- 
vertisement in another column. Come to think, it's 
in another paper. 

Dogs are worn in darker colors this season. An 
admirable innovation : it makes one shiver to see a 
cotton dog in cold weather. 

Mr. R. Porter Ashe's volume of poems, Snatches 
of Soul, is anxiously awaited, and the fire depart- 
ment is prepared. 

The report that Mr. Jerome Harte is about to 
undertake a trip around the world is pronounced by 
that gentleman maliciously false. Mr. Harte, on 
the contrary, will stand still and let the world 
go around him. 

It will pain many of our fair friends in the nppest 
circle of society to learn that the Persian name of 
the chrysanthemum is unfit for publication in San 
Francisco. 

Mr. Fred Sharon has sensibly decided that instead 
of spending fifty thousand dollars in beautifying the 
Park it will be cheaper to go out there occasionally 
himself. 

The recitations of Mr. George T. Marye are ex- 
ceedingly popular. > It is hoped that his success may 
not turn his head, for we don't want any "talking 
back " from him. 

At the funeral of the late Spelter Macspoopsy the 
widow's handkerchief was of Ballypatsy linen, with 
a scalloped border of Rustchuk lace. That of Miss 
Macspoopsy was a happily conceived combination 
of skirl silk and Amontillado lace, with an outer 
border of floss. Miss Elbowy Macspoopsy sported 
a plain cambric with a hand-painted center and her 
initials in old Beloochee text in the northwest 
corner. The wipes of the other fail" mourners were 
neat and elegant. 

Mr. Henry E. Highton is an earnest opponent of 
late hours. He says that no man can hope to be 
handsome who does not take a good deal of sleep. 
Mr. Highton retires at 8 P. m. and rises at 10 a. m. 

The Angora cat is losing its hold on popular favor, 
but mud-turtles with inlaid or jeweled shells are 
growing more and more indispensable in the drawing- 
room. Mr. J. B. Haggin has four and they sweeten 
his life beyond the power of words to express. 

Judge Hoffman has stopped attending all frivolous 
1 entertainments since he was himself called a soap- 
bubble party. 



SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER On,, 

WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, 
As a Remedy foe Consumption. — Dr. H. J. Pratt, 
Montello, Wisconsin, say a : "After a thorough teat of 
over two years, I voluntarily recommend your Scott's 
Emulsion to those afflicted with consumption. ' 



THE WASP. 



OUR PICTURES. 



The inglorious ending of the dynamite programme 
by the conviction of O'Donnell's dupes will doubt- 
less put an end for a good long time to all plots and 
schemes looking to overt acts of rebellion against 
the law. While the Board of Supervisors has not 
thought it politic to prevent assemblages upon the 
sand-lot for the airing of real grievances, its action 
has taken the fangs from conspiracy, and the tone 
of public utterances from that delectable ground 
must hereafter be tempered with a moderation sug- 
gested by discretion. Vapid vaporings we shall 
doubtless hear of but the thundering denunciations 
of officers and law which seemed heretofore to pre- 
lude mob-violence and bloodshed are now stilled in 
the presence of certain fine and imprisonment. 

Under these circumstances it has seemed appro- 
priate to dedicate to the departed shades of the City 
Hall sand-dunes a fitting monument to commemo- 
rate its past history. Our artist furnishes such a 
design in this number. It tells its own story. There 
are apparent the spirit that furnished the enthusiasm 
and the implements to be employed. A fitting 
capital to the structure is the inflated O'Donnell and 
his companion hoodlum and dog. The proprieties 
of justice would doubtless have been better preserved 
had he been at the base in place of one of the con- 
victed dupes, but as gaseous bodies always float on 
the top, he has thus far managed to swim with the 
surface drift. All good men hope, however, that 
he is near his rope's end. 

The cartoon on our last "page shows another in- 
stance of locking the stable door after the horse had 
been stolen. Controller Dunn had knowledge of 
Supreme Court Clerk McCarthy's dilatoriness in 
settling up his accounts but took no steps to expe- 
dite a settlement with hini ; but so soon as he heard 
of his disappearance, the Controller rushed frantic- 
ally to this city just in time to find that his bird had 
flown. While he tears his hair in mad disappoint- 
ment at the escape of his subordinate, the defaulter 
himself waves back his defiance as he gayly sails 
over the water to join the California Colony of 
escapes in our Canada. The congenial spirits al- 
ready there await him with bumpers and loud ac- 
claim. 

The unseemly attack of Rosecrans upon the mem- 
ory of our dead and honored General Grant, has 
aroused such a sentiment of reprobation in Congress 
that there is a decided opposition to the confirmation 
of " Old Rosy " as Register of the Treasury. There 
is a deep-seated feeling in human nature that revolts 
against defamation of the dead and gone. Oppose 
them as we may in life, criticise and condem severely 
as may be in the flesh, when the tomb comes to 
cover the subject he is our enemy no longer. Then 
it is that the maxim " Speak only good of the dead " 
asserts supremacy ; and it grates harshly upon the 
sentimentality of all fair men to see the animosities 
of life wreaking vengeance on the grave. Who 
throws mud upon the monument of the great dead, 
gets no sympathy, but rather earnest censure from 
all living. 

HEIRS TQ MANY MILLIONS. 



Ours is an aristocracy of money. The ancestors 
of our first families have neither political, social nor 
financial fame. It would be time wasted to search 
the records of either army or navy for the names of 
the leaders who sit around the charmed circle 
of California exclusiveness. Although we have 
nothing in the glorious past to boast of we must 
take care of the future. And exalt the present. 
Twenty-five years ago there was not a rich man 
amongst us. Within a quarter of a century a crop 
has grown as suddenly as mushrooms appear in a 
fertile field. 

A few of these millionaires have sturdy heirs, sons 
that will not allow the family name to die out. 
Foremost amongst many stands the name of Fred. 
Crocker. Long service in the National Guard has 
given him a decidedly military look. He is but a 
colonel, yet he has all the qualities that may be 
properly demanded of a major or general. Why his 
promotion has been delayed is a mystery. Much 
inferior men have been advanced over his head. 
Perhaps it is because he knows nothing of political 
methods and would scorn to use them if he did. 
He is a splendid business man and as hard-working 
as President Cleveland is reported to be. Should a 
time ever come when the President of the United 
States shall be chosen from the ranks of hard- working 
men, then the honor must fall upon Fred. Crocker. 
Work is his conscience and it has estranged him 



from his younger brothers, Will and George, who 
despise toil and everything that smacks of effort. 
But as they are only single men there is hope for 
them when they get each a wife and family to pro- 
vide for. 

Young Jim Flood is known to the world because 
he is the son of liis father. The day is coming when 
Jim may inherit more millions than he has finger- 
nails. He dreads the approaching doom and would 
barter his right hand to escape the inevitable. To 
add a balance-wheel to his many virtues his honored 
father has added several vices to Ms name. These 
unsought positions he has adorned and the strength 
of his name has made a fortune for more than one 
financial corporation. The Rothschilds have often 
seriously contemplated inviting him to accept the 
position of vice-president of their London firm. 
Jim is a scholar and his favorite subjects of study 
are classical. In manners he is as graceful as he is 
imposing in person. Like all men of genius he 
gathers about him choice spirits, the leaders of na- 
tional affairs. He can talk well upon divers topics, 
but only rises to a plane of perfect eloquence when 
California's destiny is broached. He is o'er young 
to marry, but that is a minor defect which years will 
amend. In faith he is a devout churchman. 

Louis Haggin is a little man, as sedate as an 
artist's model. Socially a recluse, intellectually 
equipped from head to foot, art is the joy of his life, 
rare books his brightest companions. His home a 
fairy palace of choicest bric-a-brac, he traveled both 
hemispheres to find the world's choicest gems in 
china, dresden and majolica ware. Now he is con- 
tent, nothing can disturb liim ; he loves music and 
always has the best for the asking. His highest 
enjoyments come through his eyes in gazing at per- 
fect forms and the divine harmonies of colors. No 
man is more sensible to the charms of a liquid- 
speaking voice that precedes gently rippling laughter. 
Having nothing else to do in the world he leads a 
life of freedom from every care as enchanting as the 
bliss of the lotus-eaters. 

Joe Grant is one of the men that his country must 
some day honor. He has served her well. The 
rarest combinations are his. In years a stripling, 
in advanced experience a man of maturity, the idol 
of the inner circle of social life, the companion of the 
gayest spirits, the counselor of the most advanced 
thinkers, what sharper contrast can fiction weave 
than his massive brow bending over the gravest 
tasks and the lightness of his step when leading in 
a merry dance. His taste in music is faultless and 
his rich voice shows the rare finish that only unex- 
ceptionable cultivation can give. The cares of un- 
told wealth sit as lightly upon his shoulders as an 
invitation to dinner. Beloved by the old, sought 
for by the mature, admired by the young, destiny 
has chosen him for a pet. That he is petted no one 
will deny. But who could resist such charms ? The 
whole chapter is of one piece. In religious, political, 
financial and social life Joe is a star of the magni- 
tude of Ursula and but for his name he would be 
a poet. This is his only regret. Kings, emperors, 
prime ministers, generals have honored his name, 
but a poet never, alas ! 

One of the richest young men of the day is John D. 
Spreckels, and he is the prospective heir to many 
millions. His habits are grave to a fault, but it is 
only surface gravity. Under firmly drawn lines 
of a serious face there lurks the keenest spirit of 
humor. That deep voice echoes sharpest satire, the 
soul of fun came straight from heaven when John D. 
was born. The charm of his humor is that it flashes 
out when the least expected. Over a transaction 
that involves millions of money he will throw a 
brilliant sally of wit. When the gravest concerns 
are pressing him from right to left he will put them 
to flight by a grotesque figure of speech. His face 
is like the Sphinx, always at cross-purposes with his 
speech. If but another Boswell would come to life 
what a splendid opportunity he would have in 
making the world familiar with a man who is an 
enigma to all but his bosom friends. 

Lo ! the great critic, William Dean, 
Slaya authors in a magazine. 
No 'prentice hand— he won his bays 
In Lalla Rookh's romantic days : 
Before he took the surname Howells, 
As Fadladeen he ripped their bowels. 

A very loquacious lady, calling one day to consult 
her physician, talked on and on with such volubility 
that the latter cculd not get in a word edgeways. 
Growing impatient he at length told her to put out 
her tongue, which she did. He then said : " Now 
please keep it there till you have heard what 1 have 
got to say to you." — Cologne Gazette, 



ESSENCE OF SHAKESPEARE FOR 
LOCAL APPLICATION. 



From "Romeo and Juliet.' 



The Congregational Cldb. 
Part fools. — Act I, Scene 1. 

The Sandlotters. 
If ever you disturb our streets again 
Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace. - /, 1. 

J. W. McCarthy: 
" A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad."—/, 7. 
George C. Perkins. 

Could tell 
A whispering tale in a fair lady's ear 
Such as would please. — /, 5. 

Claus Spreckels : 
" Now by the stock ! " — J, 5, 

Ban. Yost. 
This trick may chance to scathe you. —I, 5. 

Miss J. F. 
I tell you he that can lay hold of her 
Shall have the chinks. — /, 5. 

Colonel Smedberg. 
Without that title.— II, 2. 

W. W. Morrow. 
Good morrow. — //, 3. 

Sarah Althea: 

"When and where and how 
We met, we wooed and made exchange of vow, 
I'll tell thee,"— II, 3, 

John H. Burke. 
Will speak more in a minute than he will Btand to in a 
month.—//, 4- 

Charles Kaeding. 
Thou ! why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a 
hair more, or a hair less, in his beard than thou hast. — III, /. 

PlXLEY tO CAPEL. 

Let me dispute with thee. — ///, 3. 

Hallelujah Cox. 
It were a grief bo brief, to part with thee ! — III, 3. 

Emma Nevada. 

Straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps.—///, 5. 

M. M. EsteE: 

" I learned me to repent the sin 
Of disobedient opposition." — IV, 2. 

Maurice C. Blake. 
All our whole city is much hound to him. — IV, %. 

W. M. Neilson. 
Whose foul mouth no healthsome air breathes in. — IV, 4- 
Governor Stoneman: 
" I drink. "—IV, 4- 

Harry Morse: 
" I have a head, sir, that will find out." — IV, 5. 
School Director Cahalin. 
The most you sought was her promotion, 
For 'twas your heaven she should be advanced. — IV, 5. 

Montague Leverson. 
Dry up.— IV, 5. 

Dr. McDonald's Vinegar Bitters. 
Drink it off, and if you had the strength 
Of twenty men it would dispatch you straight. — V, 3. 

W. B. Tyler. 
I came hither armed. — V, 3. 

Chinatown. 

That nest 
Of death, contagion and unnatural sleep. - V, 3. 

Sheriff Hopkins. 
Go, some of you; whoe'er you find, attach. — V, S. 

Ballenberg's Band. 
With instruments upon them.— =-F, 3. 

Db. Horatio Stebbins. 
We still have known thee for a holy man. — V, 3. 

The Stockton Convention. 
Some shall be pardoned, and some punished. — V, 3. 



The local authorities of some of the German 
towns have wisely forbidden piano-playing in rooms 
adjoining the public streets. May the Lord love 
them and move the hearts of our own city govern- 
ments to match the gracious deed and temper the 
whanging of the shouting wire, for truly the piano 
is a sacred terror. It drowns the music of America's 
national instrument, the steam- whistle. 



Fredericksburg Eheingold now on draught. Don't fail 
to try it. 



THE WASP. 



TheWa#p 



volume xvi: 



WHOLE NUMBER, 



SATURDAY, 



JANUARY 16, 1886. 



PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT 538 CALIFORNIA ST. BY 

THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 



Tfrms to Subscribers : 
One copy, one year, or 52 numbers - - - $5 00 
One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - - - 2 50 
One copy for thirteen weeks .... 1 25 

Postage free to all parts of the United States, Canada 
and British Columbia. To all other countries one dollar 
per year extra. The country trade supplied by the San 
Francisco News Company. AH Postmasters are authorized 
to take subscriptions for the Wasp, payable invariably in 
advance. 



[Entered at the Postoffice at San Francisco for transmission 
at second class rates.] 



No questionable advertisements toill be inserted in this 
journal on any terms. 



A clergyman has entered an earnest protest 
against the bowling alley in the basement of the 
Young Men's Christian Association hall. This pious 
apostle contends that the knocking of hardwood 
balls against a set number of hardwood pins is an 
invention of the devil, a pastime directly provocative 
of sin, and a disgrace to any organization with 
aspirations to godliness. This sort of fanaticism 
does more injury to the cause of Christianity because 
of the ridicule it entails than all the assaults of the 
free-thinkers. Let the young Christians have their 
bowling alley. Nothing works the leaven of sin out 
of a man's anatomy so thoroughly as good, persistent 
physical exercise. The reputation of the members 
of the Olympic Club is directly confirmatory of this 
assertion. We could preach a sermon about the 
devil being always ready with occupation for idle 
hands, but the subject is trite and the parsons, who 
are ever on the track of that malevolent spirit, 
probably know more about him than we do. Certain 
it is that when the young Christians' hands are en- 
gaged with the lignum-vitge balls they are not 
encircling the insidious beer-glass or rattling the 
seductive dice-box. And when their voices are 
shouting, "Set 'em up on the other alley," they 
are not whispering words of love into willing ears or 
bidding the bar-keeper help the gentlemen all 
around and add it to the old accoimt. 



When Americans traveling abroad visit the 
theaters of Paris and Vienna they resolve not to be 
astonished at anything they hear, no matter how 
indelicate. They take their wives and daughters to 
hear dialogue and be spectators of acting of a descrip- 
tion which they feel would not be tolerated on an 
American stage. But we are rapidly changing all 
that, broadening the lines as it were, and extending 
our ideas of the extent to which this particular sort 
of license may be permitted. Our maids and 
matrons, traveled and otherwise, are not so shock- 
able as they used to be and are inclined to consider 
objections to the French dramatic school as prudery. 
There have been some forcible illustrations of this 
on the San Francisco stage. The lines have been 
pretty tightly strained and it has become a matter 
of curiosity to see how much more they will stand. 



The Eastern people who are now wintering in 
Florida must regret that they left their furs at home. 
They have no use for summer clothing now in that 
famed land with the thermometer at 15 and frozen 
oranges for desert. This gives us another oppor- 
tunity to toot for the California climate. When the 



tourists who have wintered on the Pacific Slope 
compare notes with the tourists who have been 
frozen down in Florida how the army of fine-weather 
seekers will be recruited for California next year. 



The rod and gun are fast growing in favor in 
California. A decade ago the men who shot and 
fished were comparatively few. Their neighbors 
laughed at their enthusiasm and spent their Sundays 
in long black coats, walking about the streets and 
lounging in saloons and cigar-stores, while the others 
were off in the marsh or by the stream. The sons 
of those easy-going Sabbath-keeping people have not 
followed in the footsteps of their fathers, not that 
they break the Sabbath, but they find for that day 
of rest the recreation that nature offers in out-of- 
door pastimes. Though by the formation of shooting 
clubs with exclusive tendencies the area the hunter 
may traverse for waterfowl has been somewhat lim- 
ited, there is yet plenty of room for the tramp 
sportsman, as the club men term those outsiders. 
If the Fish Commissioners were more attentive to 
their duties and had a better idea of the obligations 
of their position we should have no lack of trout in 
the streams of California. Then coursing, an excel- 
lent sport and one that tends to the breeding of fine 
dogs, has taken a fresh impetus since the establish- 
ment of the Coursing Park at Newark by Mr. John 
Dugan, an old coursing man, whose efforts to pro- 
mote coursing are fully appreciated by clubs and 
dog-owners. This is the only enclosed coursing 
park in the United States, and California scores one 
in this particular and draws ahead of Chicago, our 
great rival in dog, gun and rod records. Yachting 
is really the only pastime on this coast that is 
neglected. There is not the enthusiasm and spirit 
of emulation in this delightful recreation that might 
be expected from the glorious advantages our harbor, 
with the steady, reliable afternoon breezes, affords. 
But we hope for better things. A few earnest, in- 
telligent yachtsmen could bring the sport once more 
to the place it occupied a dozen years ago, when the 
yachts were fewer but the yachtsmen were more in 
earnest. 



When the building on Stockton and Post streets 
is finished it will undoubtedly be one of the finest 
for club purposes in the United States. It was at 
first proposed to construct it for the Union Club, 
and it will be occupied by that organization as soon 
as completed. But the Union people, wishing to 
have the building to themselves, and finding that 
they have not enough materials or members to put 
away in all the corners, have proposed to the Pacific 
Club to consolidate, a proposition winch the latter 
body is gloomily considering. It will not be in fact 
much of a change, as many of the Union Club people 
are members of the Pacific, and vice versa. Never- 
theless there is a difference between the clubs, dis- 
tinct and quite evident not alone to the members 
themselves biit to those who have been at any time 
their guests. The Pacific Club people are of the old 
California type, men who will drink their whisky 
toddies and play poker and talk over old times with 
that keen relish with which the pioneer ever enters 
into all the foregoing amusements. The gentlemen 
of the Union are strongly tinged with English 
mannerisms, that is when they enter the club. So 
oddly is this developed that a down-east Yankee 
who on the sidewalk spoke with a nasal twang or 
through his nose, as the slang runs, no sooner took 
a seat at the club table than he began to drop his 
"hs" and in ten minutes or so might have easily 
been mistaken for a Cockney. Such was the remark- 
able effect of the atmosphere. When the Union and 
Pacific amalgamate there is no fear that the sturdy 
old boys of the Pacific will fall into the Pall Mall 
swagger or the Regent-street drawl. Nor will the 



Union men indulge in reminiscences of the time 
when the water came up to Montgomery street. 
Each will leaven the other, the British dough being 
enlivened by the Pioneer yeast, and where there is 
too much dough about the Pioneer the Union may 
find some spare animation to bring it to a crust. 



The State keeps on its onward course as a 
wine-making and exporting country. From Mr. 
Buckland's figures in the Merchant, which by the 
way is a complete and useful gazette for the viti- 
culturists, we learn that the total increased business 
in California wines for the past year will amount to 
nearly a million gallons as compared with the ship- 
ments of the past year. The once actively discussed 
question as to whether the Coming Man will or will 
not drink wine is settled that he will and it is now 
clear that he must look to the Pacific Slope for his 
supply. The vineyards of Europe, even when the 
vintage is at its best, go but a small way toward 
satiating the universal thirst for the juice of the 
grape. 

Germany has annexed Samoa. Of course Ger- 
many can annex whatever she pleases in the small 
island way, and none can say her nay. She keeps a 
big standing army just for this purpose, to scare off 
any of the powers who might object to this Bis- 
marckian weakness. England and France may 
growl a little, but they will be careful not to do 
anything that may be construed into impertinence. 
Those Krupp guns have an ugly bark, and none of 
Prussia's neighbors are anxious to hear that music 
coming their way. 



McCarthy's safe disclosed nothing but a warrant 
on the State Treasury for a small sum. "Mac's" 
friends assert that the poor janitor, Crowley, about 
whose unfortunate financial condition there has been 
so much sympathy, is in reality quite a rich man, 
always able and willing to advance a small sum to 
the inmates of the building upon moderate interest 
and good security. Those gentlemen also declare 
that Mac had but very little money with him when 
he levanted and that he hopes, if he remains in the 
islands, to obtain a position with Attorney- General 
Paul Neuman, who is also a member of the Cabinet. 
There is not so much ready money in the Hawaiian 
treasury at present that the government need be 
under any apprehension in regard to the employment 
of McCarthy. 



Among the many things upon which we have to 
congratulate ourselves is the fact that hydrophobia 
is unknown in this State. Even in Stockton and 
Sacramento, where the summer heat is so excessive, 
the dogs never lose their senses and run a muck, 
tasting the legs of startled citizens, as in New York 
and other Eastern cities. Therefore we have no use 
for Pasteur, but there is a problem that medical 
science has not yet solved, and that is an antidote 
for the poison of the rattlesnake-bite, other than 
alcohol. There must be some temperance method 
of escape and we believe the Indians have it, but it 
has never been transmitted to our savants. 



The anti-Chinese crusade is progressing well. 
There is a solid, sensible clear-headedness about the 
movement that augurs favorably. The shoemakers 
are not idle. They, too, are pushing forward and 
will in the course of a few months, if persistent, 
crowd the Chinese factories to the wall. Now let 
the housekeepers do their part and let their Chinese 
servants go, replacing them with girls of their own 
race. This is where the pull is going to be the 
hardest. The ladies will find it a difficult matter 
to exchange the patient, mulish, dexterous John for 
the awkward and sometimes saucy girl. But for the 
good of the commonwealth it must be done. 



THE WASP. 



13 



GROVER CLEVELAND'S CRADLE. 

I'm an old and broken cradle, 
And my frame i* warped and lient; 

But my pride is quite a mountain. 
Fur I rocked a President. 

Oft I heard his lusty crying, 
But my temper well I kept ; 

And I gently rooked the baity 
Till he closed his eyes and slept. 

Little thought they then that Grover 
Would become so great a man, 

But I knew it, for I got it 
From the crib of Manning Dan. 

So they threw me in the river, 
As from Morgan's men they fled, 

Thinking no one would be searching 
For a cradle in a bed. 

Here I am again, all trembling 
Like the leaf upon its bough, 

Lest I Bhould not know my Grover, 
For he's quite a big boy now. 

— Columbus Dispatch. 

HAPPY BACHELOR. 

The bachelor is feeling good 

And deems himself a lucky wight ; 

He saws and splits no kindling wood', 
He has no kitchen fire to light. 

When day is done his cares are o'er, 
And once in bed he takes his ease ; 

He need not rise to walk the floor 
These chilly nights a child to please. 

For him there are no household cares, 
The breakfast bell his slumber breaks, 

He dresses and descends the stairs 
To oatmeal mush and buckwheat cakes. 

For him life's river smoothly runs, 
He's happy, jolly and content, 

He has no wife and little ones 
On whom his earnings must be spent. 

Let him enjoy it while he can, 

When age and loneliness shall come 
Hell wish he was a married man 

With sons and daughters, wife and home. 



AMISEMKXTS. 



CulilWuisB Theater* 

Raskin & Co Proprietoi 

E. D. Prick Manager 

SUCCESS Everybody Delighted SUCCESS. 

Every Evbxuto, [HCMJDIXa Sunday. 

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Magnificent Production of the World- Famous 
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BLACK CROOK. 

Under the Management ol MA. AL. i-iaV.man. 

IMMKSSE SUCCESS OK 

The TissOTB, The Mionani Family, Leopold &. 
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The Mikado Ballet, Ballet ok all Nations, 
Grand Amazonian March. 

Gorgeous Scenery and Cost] is ' 

Elaborate Mechanical Effects ! 

SECURE YOUR SEATS. 



THE FARMER LAD. 

The farmer lad is a very fine lad, 
At least, so thinks his fond old dad, 
So do the fine folks of the town, 
Altho' they say he's a country clown ; 
They always take him to be soft — 
Just here those folks getfooled, quite oft ; 
For when he brings a load of hay, 
A stone may help to make it weigh, 
He Btuffs the turkey's neck with peas, 
His tub of butter is part grease, 
He puts good apples on the top, 
So on the folks he's got the drop — 
This unsophisticated lad, 
If you don't look out, will fool you bad. 
— Toronto Grip. 



SMALL AND TALL. 



My wife is tall, my son is tall, 
Much taller than his father ; 

To be about as tall as he 
I very much would rather. 

I look small and I am small, but 
"What makes me feel small rather, 

My wife cuts down my son's old clothes, 
To make them fit his father. 

— George Birdseye. 



AT THE PARTY. 



The mirth and fun were at their height, 

The pleasure without alloy, 
When the merry company called that night 

For a song from the messenger boy. 
And he blithely Bang the good old song 

That in youth we used to know, 
Sang in a voice both clear and strong, 

"Go slow, young man, go slow ! " 

— Boston Courier. 



C. L. BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

Poultry and Wild Game 

65, «;«. G7 California market, 

San Francisco. All orders attended to at the 
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Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

POULTRY <& GAME. 

Stalls 3 & 4 California Market, 
California St. entrance) San Francisco. 



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M. B. Leavitt Lessee and Proprietor 

Ciiaw. P. Hall Manager 

The Hit of the Season! 

GALA MATINEE TO-DAY AT 2 O'CLOC , 

Evening Performance at 8. 

California's Favorite Comedienne, 

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DIVIDEND NOTICE. 

The German Savings and Loan 
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For the half year ending Dec. 31. 1SS5, the 
Board of Directors of THE GERMAN 1 SAVINGS 
AND LOAN SOCIETY has declared a dividend 
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per annum on term deposits, and three and 
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day of January, 1886. By order. 

GEO. LETTE, Secretary. 




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Consultation, advice and examination free and 
private. 






TO THE UNFORTUNATE! 

Dr. GIBBON S DISPENSARY 

t*0'_> KEAB- 
9^1't NY ST. 

San Francisco — Es- 
tablished in 1864 tor 
the treatment and 
:ure of Special Dis- 
uses, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases wearing on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, i-kr- 
maskntlv CURED : the 
sick and afflicted 
should not fail to call 
upon bim. The Doc- 
tor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doctor cures when others fail. Try him. DR. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cure. Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HOME. AJ1 communications strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J. F. GIBBON, Box 1957, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 




"NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL." 

TARRANT'S EXTRACT 



CUBEBS AND COPAIBA 

Is an old, tried remedy 
for gonorrhoea, gleet, 
and all diseases of the 
urinary organs. Its 
neat, portable form, 
freedom from taste and 
speedy action (it fre- 
quently cures in three 
or four days and always 
in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make " Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the most desira- 
ble remedy ever manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud see 
that each package has a red strip across the face 
of label, with the signature of TARRANT & CO., 
N. Y. , upon it. 

PRICE SI. 
Sold by all Druggists. 




LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- 
voring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, 8,000,000 jars. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feel grateful." — See " Medical 
Press," "Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fac-simile of Baron 
Licbig's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title "Baron Liebig" and pho- 
tograph having been largely used by deal- 
ers with no connection with Baron Liebig, 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. To be had of all Storekeepers, 

Grocers and Chemists. Sole agents for the 

United States (wholesale only) C. David & 

Co., 9 Fenehurch Avenue, London, Eng. 

Sol«l Wholesale by RICHARDS & 

iSAKKISOW and LAXdiLHY & 

MICHAEL,**. 



£3TCimES with 

UNFAILING CER- 
TAINTY Nervous 
and Physical De- 
bility, Vital Ex- 
haustion, Weak- 
ness, Loss of Vi- 
tality, and all the 
terrible results of 
excesses and indis- 
cretions. It pre- 
vents permanently 
all weakening 
drains upon the 
system. Permanent Cures Guaranteed. 

Price, $2.50 per bottle, or five bottles sin. on. 
To be had only of DR. C. D. SALFIELD, 21C 
Kearny Street, San Francisco. 

TRIAL. ROTTIiE FREE, 
Sufficient to show its merit, will be sent to any 
one applying by letter, stating his symptoms and 
age. Communications strictly confidential. 




PENNYROYAL PILLS. 

"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations. Indispensible to Ladle*. Ask 
yourI>ruj;g;ist for "Chichester's Eng- 
lish" and take no other, or inclose 4 cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars is LETTER by return 

mail. &AME PAPER. Chichester 
Chemical Co., 2313 Madison Sq're, 
Philadelphia, Pa. 

TRADE supplied by'GEO. C- GOODWIN 
&, CO., Wholesale Agents, Boston, Mass. 



DR. MCNULTY. 



urn Jleino to l J ii; i. t.i i i ii i». Bo hna devoted n life-time 
toihe treatment of Special, Chronic and Ncrvou* 
ilUcuci or bulb aexes. All wbo plnoo ihomsclvei 
uu.ler lils clinrgc will receive careful, sound and n*fo 
u'lvlco. the roiullorgreat itudr, deep research and*, 
long .Uiii'il experience, fftilcli novo made him master 
oT these diseases. 

THOSE who tiro so unfortunate as to suffer from 
the in ii icrcllona of youth, or ihe excesses and follies 
cif iiuiiurur years, contracted local diseases, etc., should 
nut fiifl to connultblni, 

I. ', hli,-i suffering from the ninny ailments and com- 
plicated diseases incident to jour sex, remember lhat 
On. Mi'Nulty la able toasslst Jon. Hols always will- 
ing to consult v. nil you com ihkiihi i.v and can 
certainly relievo you. There is no diteate pertaining 
to your delicate tystem but uhtch ho can treat with tha 
eurety of tuccctt. His methods of treatment can 
always bo relied on as the rciy bent that modern 
medical science nnd experience afford. None Bhci'd 
full to profit by his valuable a<tvlco and skill. Person' 
who desire to be cured at home, can, If they vim 
consult him bylciler. givlug an acou-ato description 
of the trouble or disease, and receive treatment bj 
niailnr express. 

Hi' I'll i.u.MA'i U >.*■■> a Mil' OpTICB. <""'■ -i-r.TiTin-; 

In person or by letter. Fni:«. Charges reasonable. 

CoKKULTiTlO* PiELOKfl PRIVATELY AxtBAKGID. OfflCO 

Hours. 10*o 3 Dailv.Gto 8 Evbhi«gs,Subd*ts, 10 ro 
11 only. Messages delivered at the office uiM receive 
prompt attention at all tioura, night or day. Call or 
address 

P. Roscoe McNulty, M. D., 
101 DupontSt.(cor. of Geary). 
San Francisco, Cal. 



Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEARNY STREET. 

Still treats, with the same wonderful success as of 
old, all chronic, private, nervous, and WASTING 
diseases, such as nervous debilitv, loss op vital- 
ity, PROSTATITIS. KIDNEY, BLADDER Olid LIVER 
DISEASES, UNNATURAL DRAINS, cither day or night, 
IMPAIRED VITALITY, etc 

DR. MlNTIElsa REGULAR PHYSICIAN GRADUATE 
OF THE OLDEST COLLEGE IN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known over the entire Pacific 
coast from his long and successful career in the practice 
of his specialty in this city, in. iking curt-sin many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a term of years 

HOUSE PHYSICIAN, 
Or RESIDENT SURGEON, in the Orthopedic Hospital at 
Philadelphia, and lie would say to YOUNG MEN who are 
suffering from the effects of YOUTHFUL follies and 

MIDDLE-AGED MEN who are PREMATURELY OLD con- 
Suit one who has made your disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Doctor will agree to forfeit $1,000 for a case of this 
kind he takes and fails to cure. 

DR. MlNTIE is sole proprietor of the now famous 
English remedy, the SIR AsTLEY C'/OPER VITAL RES- 
TORATIVE, which he furnishes free to patients, 

CONSULTATION FREE. Thorough examination and 
advice including chemical analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest opinion given in 

Office Hours — 9 to 3 daily; evenings, 6 to 8; Sunday 
11 to 1 only. Call o r add ress, 

A. E. MINTLE, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 

San Francisco, CaL 



ESTABLISHED, S. F., 1803. 




THE MOST COMPLICATED CASES OF 

DEFECTIVE VISION 

Thoroughly diagnosed, free of charge, and 
kinds of Lenses made to order. 

SPECTACLES, 

Their adaptation to the various conditions of 
sight have been my specialty for 36 Years. 

Compound Astigmatic Lenses 

Mounted to Order at Two Hours' Notice. 

C MULLER, 

OPTICIAN, 

135 Montgomery St., near Bush. 

Orders by Mail or Express promptly 
attended to. 



14 



THE WASP. 



Mrs. Samuelson, of Dallas, recently hired a colored 
woman who had no previous experience in cooking. 
She was so ignorant that she didn't even know how 
to make tea, so Mrs. S. told her to make it as she 
did coffee, meaning for hereto put the tea in the 
boiling water. 

When the tea came on the table it was simply 
horrible. 

"What have you been doing with this tea? " 

"I done as yer tole me. Yer tole me ter make 
it as I did de coffee, but I bleeves I put in too much 
of de chicory." — Texas Siftings. 

The fact that your ancestors have|live to a good 
old age is no indication that you will become an 
octogenarian. In these days of capital punishment 
life is very uncertain. 

THE 

MURPHY BUILDING 

COR. MARKET AND JONES STS. 



WONDERFULLY CHEAP LINES 

OFFERED BY 

J.J.O'BRIEN&CO. 



We respectfully invite the attention of our patrons and the 
public to the following 

SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS! 

All of which are entirely fresh and seasonable, and are offered at 
such low prices as render them 

Decided Attractions: 

100 Nigger-Head Tailor-Made Walking Jackets, in black, brown 
and blue, regular price S10 each, marked down to S5. 

100 Boucle Tailor-Made Walking Jackets, regular price S15, 
marked down to §7.50 each. 

500 dozen Ladies' Extra Heavy Cotton Hose, split feet, regular 

price 35c. a pair, offered at 25c. 
600 dozen Ladies' Extra Heavy Fancy Stripe Cotton Hose, split 

feet, usual price 65c. , offered at 33$c. 

200 dozen Ladies' 4, 6 and 8 Button Length Taffeta Gloves, regular 
price 75c. , 85c. and $1 a pair ; the lot will be offered at 25c. a 
pair. 

150 dozen 8-Button Length Pure Silk Jersey Gloves, regular price 
SI. 50 a pair, offered at 50c. 



COTJNTR1 ORDER DEPARTMENT. 

Our Country Order Department is now fully organized, and we 
take pleasure in stating that our patrons are offered advantages 
not presented elsewhere, our stock being the largest on the coast, 
entirely fresh and new, samples of which we shall be glad to 
forward for comparison to any part of the State. 

J.J.O'BRIEN&CO. 

Murphy Building', 

COR, MARKET AND JONES STS. 




ART PAINTED, 
ENCAUSTIC, 
GLAZED AND 
PLAIN. 



For 
FLOORS.WALLS 
HEARTHS AND 
MANTEL FAC- 
INGS. 



W. W. MONTAGUE & CO. 

MANTELS, CRATES, FENDERS, ANDIRONS, 

HOT AIR FURNACES, 
309, 311, 313, 315, 317 Market street, 

(Between Eeale and Fremont,) 
BAN FRANCISCO. 



Suggestions for a Profitable Business in 
Babies. 

A New Haven, Conn., -woman recently sold 
her baby for 160, and the thrifty mothers of 
that State, famous for its wooden nutmegs, 
have issued a circular for distribution among 
the trade, from which, we take the following 
extracts: 

"Babies sent to any address in the United 
StateB, post paid, on receipt of check, P. O. 
order or cash. Postage stamps not taken 

" No discount on schedule rates, but an 
extra girl baby will be thrown in with every 
assorted lot of ten. 

" All goods warranted to be as repres- 
ented. 

"Goods will be Bent C. O. D. witi priv- 
ilege of examination. 

" In ordering please give name in full, 
post office, county and State. 

" No chromos for clubs. 

"Satisfaction guaranteed if customers will 
Visit the babyry and inspect our stock before 
purchasing elsewhere. 

" Come early and avoid the rush. 

"No job-lots. 

" Ministers supplied at a slight reduction. 

" We have come to stay. 

" We are bound to pleaae. 

"If you don't see what you want ask for it. 

"No 'closing out sales,' no 'goods at 
cost,* none * damaged by fire and water ' 
We run our business on business principles, 
good goods at reasonable prices and a fair 
profit. 

"Do not destroy this circular. If you 
have no use for it, you will pleaBe hand it to 
some friend." 




Like and Love* 



The feminine mind early attains to the 
consideration of the ethics of the affections. 
In one of our city Bchools the other day the 
class in English grammar was discuBsingthe 
difference between the words "like," and 
" love." " Now," said the teacher, "we can 
like a tomato, but is it proper to Bay we can 
love a tomato?' 1 "No, it is not," said a 
fresh young miss. " One cannot love a 
tomato." " Why not?" inquired the teacher. 
' Because you know you cannot — you can't 
—well, you can't hug a tomato."— [Hartford 
Post. 



Ready for Him. 



A boy on High street, west, placed a big 
apple on the front Bteps and walked across 
the street to see who would take it. A gen- 
tleman who bad observed the action said : 

"You shouldn't do that, my son. Some 
poor boy may be tempted to steal"' 

"That's what I'm fishing for, sir. I've 
hollowed out the inside, and filled it with 
mustard."— [Detroit Free Press. 



•'They Are Only Rented.** 

Young Mr. De Lyle (in the conservatory); 
" May I present you with a bud, Miss So- 
cietie, from this beautiful plant ?" 

MissSocietie (blushing): "Oh, thankyou, 
Mr. Do Lyle. You are very " 

Fairy of the Household (tripping in): "I 
guess papa wouldn't like you to pick any of 
the flowers, Mr. De Lyle; they are only 
rented for this evening."— [Boston Herald. 



In the Same Line. 



One of the most prominent barkeepers 
in the city is said to have formerly been a 
druggist in Kansas.— [Louisville Courier- 
Journal. 



" George, -who is your family physician ? " " Dr. 
Smoothman, " c< What, that numbskull ? How does 
it happen you employ him 1" u O, it's some of my 
wife's doings. She went to see him about a cold in 
her head, and he recommended that she wear another 
style of bonnet. Since then she won't have any 
other doctor." 



A base hit. Snicks came home when supper was 
over and his wife said : " My dear, you would never 
make a good base-ball player." "Why, my love? " 
asked he. ( ' Because you are not good on the home 
run," was the reply. — Boston Budget. 



A Massachusetts man brought a jug of cider to 
the editor of his country weekly, and the knight of 
the quill immediately shut himself in and hung out 
a placard saying : ' c This is my busy day. " — Burling- 
ton Free Press. 



I oW^ niy 
Restoration 

to Health 
and B^abty 

to the 
C U t i c F\/\ 
Remedies" 

niSFIGURING Humors, Humiliating Eruptions, Itching Tort- 
^ urea, Eczema, Pnoriisis, Scrofula and Infantile Humors cured 
by the Cuticura Rbmkdibs. 

^uticdra Rkbolvknt, the new blood purifier, cleanses the blood 
and perspiration of impurities and poisonouB elements, and re- 
moves the Cause. 

Cuticura, the great Skin Crre, instantly allays Itching and In- 
flammation, clears the Skin and Scalp, heals Ulcers and restores 
the Hair. 

Cuticura Soap, an exquisite Skin Beautifier, is indispensable in 
treating Skin Diseases, Baby Humors, Skin Blemishes, Chapped 
and Oily Skin. 

Sold everywhere. Price, Cuticura, 50 cents ; Soap, 25 cents ; 
insolvent, 81. Prepared by the Potter Drug and Chkmical Co., 
Boston, Mass. 

£3T Send for " How to Cure Skin Diae ees " 

Sharp, Sudden, Sciatic, Neuralgic, Rheumatic and Nervous 
Pains instantly relieved by Cuticura Anti-pain Plastbr. 
252 



$1,000 REWARD 





ForoneofDr. HORNE'S Electric Belts that can notb« 
recharged and the Electricity felt instantly by the pa* 
tient&ny time wfthout cost. Can beapplled to all parts 
of the body. Whole family can wear it. It Electrlfle* 
the blood and cures when all else fail? Monev refunded 
If not found as above. BEWARE OF WORTHLESS so- 
called Electric, Galvanic or Magnetic Belts, Shields and 
Appliances that are being; foisted on the public, as they 

Josses* no power and cannot be charred Dy the patient. 
T CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE- Pains In the Back, 
Head, Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility. Lumbago, Gen- 
eral Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis. Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ic*. Diseases of Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Goat, Asthma, Heart DlM"~ 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, 



a. Heart Disease, Dyspepsia, Constipation, 

Indigestion, Impotency, Catarrh, Pile*. 

pllepsy. Ague. 1'iauetes, etc Ugcnt* Wvnttd. SuA 



•amp for Pamphlet. 
Dr. W. J. UOKAE, 

702 Mavkct street, San Franclaco, Cal. 



rDElSLlTATEI) MEN. 

You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use 
of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt witn Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and per- 
manent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Yitcuity and 
Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for many 
other diseases. Complete restoration to Health, Vigor, 
and Manhood guaranteed. No r\s\ is incurred. Illus- 
trated pamphlet in sen led envelope m: liea iree, by ad- 
dressing VOLT A IC BELT CO., Hi -shall, Itfich. 



^Positively cured in 60 days bj 
7l»r. Horned Electro-Muirnctl* 
Belt-TmfiK, combined. Guaran- 
teed the only one in the world 
T generating a continuous Electric <£ Mag 
..;Hc Current. Scientific, Powerful, Durable 
Comfortable and Effective in curing Rup- 
ture. Price Reduced. 5<iO cured in K3. Send for pamphle 
IjXECTKO-MAGNKTIC TRUSS COMX*A!NY 
7012 Market Rtkket, San Fiiaucisco. 




Nervous • J 
Debility ^* 



r .uxe"Wiece 

Nervous % I Lost A WemkneM 

Debility ^* Manhood ■ and DeCAJ 
& favorite prescriptioa of a noted specialist (nowra* 
tired.) DriiLrntiUa enn fill ft. Address 

DR. WARD A CO., r-,«OSUNA, Ma 



to m. MEN 



suffering from the ef- 
fects of youthful er- 

......__ rors, early decay, lost 

manhood, eto. I will send you a valuable treatise upon 
the above diseases, also directio ns f or self-cure, free of 
charge. Address Prof- F. 0. FOWLER, Moodus, Conn- 



THE WASP 
DEJ_A.IL.EnRS I TV FTTXfcS. 



15 



ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 



:eio Naiuome Htreeli S:m Franc i 

«" II <> I, i: *. A i. r, . 



PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 



A First-clnss Restaurant for Lodiea and Gci 
gomcrv, San From i- 1 o. 



lit Sutter street, between Kearnj and Slont- 
E. R, PERRIN, Proprietor. 



HALE'S 



BUSINESS Tl "' ■"««< Popular wliool on 

COLLECE, * h « t ^ a "«" 

24 Post St S. F. For Cii.iil.ir-. Address 

Send tor Circular. |.;. !». HKALI) & CO. 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 



i;ti:i:s ami D8 -i IN 



Hook, fitews, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

(ABU STOCK, STIIAW AND ItlM.KItS' BOARD, KTC. 

Uanufacturere >i Potent Mui.liiiic.mmlc Paper Bags. 
513 to .■»!«( Sacramento St., - . SAN l'ie.l.'M'1'SCO. 

~WT^A_ 2STTED 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Good Terms Offered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L. K. HAMMER 

820 J Street - - - Sacramento 

Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



8. E. Cor. Fifth and J Sts. 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 

Established, 1852. Wholesale Dealers in 

Produce and Fruit. Commission Merchants 

126 and 128 J Street, Sacramento. Cal. 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

IMPORTERS AND DEALERS I N 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 
Baby Carriages Etc. 

629 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



GARLAND 


GARLAND 


JftfiFfififa*, 


. L. L. LEWIS & CO. 


feissHaj, 


' STOVES AND RANGES 




IMPORTERS Of CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE 




502 and 504 J Street, Sacramento. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO. CAL. 

Special care given to Country Orders 



W. F. PETERSON 

MANUFACTURING CONFECTIONER 

Importer and Jobber In all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuts 

Fancy Boxes, etc. 

618 and 620 J St. Sacramento, Cal. 



THE FINEST BEER IN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BREWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 

Cor. 16th and K Sts. Sacramento, Cal 

Orders promptly attended to, 



MRS. E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 
Branch House, 419 K St., Metropolitan Theater Building. 
Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer of the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lemon 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints. Oils and Glass. 
Proprietors of Pacific Color Worhs. Acme Rubber Paiut a 
specialty. 915, 917 and 919 Second St.. Sacramento, Cal. 



A. H. POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents for Dr. Mott's Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett Springs Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or in case 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO. CAL. 



A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing, Robes. Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St., Sacramento. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN 'BROS. 

IMPORTERS of 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN -STREET, STOCKTON, CAL. 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 



Ol" STOCKTON, CAL, 



Capital Surplus, 



$300,000.00 



H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Phaser, Cashier 
General Bunking EuBineBS 



CORBIN HARROWS 

Sole Agents 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

Importers of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY 

280 it 282 Main Street Stockton 

i^ — a— ^mi 



H". 


n. H. 


HORSE 


MEDICINE 


H. H. MOOR 


3 k SONS, Proprietors 




Stockton, Cal. 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS. STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 

SEATING CAPACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Complete Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY GOODS 



185 Hunter Street 



Stockton. Cal 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Headache. Sprains, Bruise!., 
Sore Throat. Colds, Kidney troubles, etc. A Specific for 

Croup. Try It ! Try It ! For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 5flc. and SI per bottle. Address 

W. M. HICKMAN, DRUGGIST, STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 

And Wooden Tanks of all Sizes 

Also Superior Deep-Well Pumps 

Blacksmith lug and Con- nil jobbing. Orders from the Country 
promptly attended. N.K. Cor. California & Market St. Stockton 



J. H. O'BRIEN 

Wholesale Dealer in 

FINE WINES and LIQUORS 

224 Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Miller Extra Eastern Whiskies, Imported Brandies, Betheada 

Water, English Ale and Forter, 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private Asyli si for the cure and treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 

Pleasantly located. Accommodates 200 Patients. 

For terms, etc., address 

ASA CLARK. M. D., Prop'r and Supt. STOCKTON 



GRAY'S 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

jtSTPersonal attention given to orders by mail for anything 
in the drug or medicine lino. J. D. GRAY, 176 Main St„ 

Stockton, (27 years in the business.) 



SYLVESTER & HARROLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom, 250 & 252 Main Street, Stockton 

Factory on Main St. bet. Grant k Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory in the San Joaquin Valley 



H. C SHAW, PLOW WORKS 

AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS 

201 & 203 EL DORADO STREET STOCKTON 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain and Product) 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Orders solicited and promptly Idled. All kinds of Seeds for 

sale. Post Othcu Box 279. 



YOSEMITE HOUSE 

Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rates— S2.00 to S3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH &, WRENCH, Proprietors 



THE WASP. 




SCHMIDT LABELS LITHOCCSAN FRANCISCO 



00 LATE— GONE TO OUR CANADA. 



PERRIER'S FRENCH RESTAURANT ™ mE ~ii , 2 !,,4U 12 & 14 O'Farrell 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COSDPAJVY, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS., S. F. 
Blaoul of and Doalere in 

FURNITURE, BEDDINC & UPHOLSTERY, 

Wooden Mantels and Hardwood 

House Finish a Specialty, 

A I.mji.k I" «ini CONBTASTbl OS M\M- UID 

MAllK To IlKIlF.lt. 



Every Article Warranted and Satisfaction 
Guaranteed. 



<ALII'OII>IA 

Sugar Refinery. 

Office, 88! Market street. 
REFINERY. I'OTRERO. 



CLA1 s sl'l'.KCKKl.s President 

.1. Ii. SI'UKi'KELS Vice-President 

A. II. SI'Ul-XKELS Secretary 



IV. T. COLEMAN & CO. 

SHIPPING AND 

Commission Merchants, 

s.r.. cor. Market anil Main sis. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

" Fashionable and (its hint like a 
Glove." 

Such was the criticism on one of 



T M E3 



rRull'P BY - 

g^f MEWHQHE 

°^n N ty SEWING MACHINE C 2 

ifWwFg I 634 MARKETS? SAN FRANCISCO. 

i ISLANDS' 




W. G. BADGER, 

SOLS AGENTS PI iR 

HALLETT, DAVIS & CO'S 
Celebrated 

PIANOS, 

Geo. Woods & Co's Parlor and Vestry Organs, 
i:t Sangome street, s. F. 



AGENTS WANTED 
In Unoccupied Territory. 







QTORE YOUR FURNITURE j p,an e % > t at nks 



.>.) MISSION 



■ j" CALIFORNIA STORAGE WAREHOUSE, 

^v Next to Grand Opera House. Advances made. *■"* STREET. 

Decker Bros: Pianos. 




Matchless for Fine Tone, Elegant Finish 
nml Grout Dti nihility. Endorsed by all 
Artists ill ron-liini I the world. 

KOHLER & CHASE, Agents, 

137 & 13» POST STREET, S. F. 



COMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 
Manufacturers of Every Description of 

TOILET AND LAUNDRY SOAPS, WASHING POWDER, ETC., ETC. 

Ollice, 223 Sacramento St., - - San Francisco, Cal. 

ntuiv Jk I/I It It II Y, Managers. 



SWAIN'S 
ftOfi MARKET, 
U U U Opp. Palace Hotel. 



TAMILY BAKERY and 
F DINING SALOON. 



g 



Families supplied with Wedding Cake. 
Ice errant, Oysters Jellies, f 1c. 

~ G S. HALL. Proprie-i h 



Instantaneous Photographs, 

10S5 LARKIX' STREET, 

Corner of Sutter, sax FRANCISCO. 

THE NEVADA BANK 

OF SAN FRANCISCO. 

Capital paid up, $3,000,04)0. 

Agenej at New York, 62 Wall street. 

Agency at Virginia, Nevada. 

Buys and sells Exchange and Telegraphic 
Transfers. Issues Commercial and Travelers' 
Credits. 

LONDON, PARIS AND AMERICAN BANK 

LIMITKU, 

&05 Sansome street. 

Subscribed Capital $2. 500,000 00 

Paid up Capital $?,000.000 00 

Reserve Fund_. §50,000 00 

DAVID CAHN Manager 

EUGENE MEYER Sub-Manager 

Head Office : 

9 and 10 Tokenhouse Yard, Lothbury, London. 



, I Paris— 10 rue St. Cecile. 



J0E P .°" E '"'.?. SUPERIOR STAR * COAL. 

■ «.< i' s ns he i- that Tailor s 



8- 



Customer's as he left that Tailor's 
Establishment. 

SUITS FROM $20 
PANTS _^_ $6 

203 Montgomery street, 

7£4 MarUetstreet, 
1110 and 1112 Market street, 

11 and 13 Turk street. 

John M. Curtis, 

(Late CURTIS & BENNETT,) 

AKCHITECT, 

538 California St. Rooms 14 and 15. 

JOHN B. MclNTYRE, 
BOOK BIIVDER 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 
433 Clay and 422 Commercial St4. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



GERMEA 

FOR BREAKFAST, 
'DELLCLOUS. 



Better than all others for Family Use. Less Smoke or Soot. Charm- 
ing for the Parlor and the Kitchen. Tell your Dealer that you must 
have STAR COAIJ. Mais Office, 106 to 112 Mission St. 

,— HAS REMOVED. 




2= HOWIE MUTUAL INS. CO. 



NOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
No. 310 Sansome street. 

East side, bet. California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more commodious offices. 

21st Annual Exhibit, Jan. 1, 1HS5 

Premiums since organ'zation §5,021,759 52 

Losses since organization 2,118,501 84 

AsseftL Jan. 1, 18S5 856,658 22 

SurpTOs for Policy Holders 825,963 63 

Income 1884 4S4.616 73 

Capital, paid-up. Gold 300,000 00 

Reinsurance Reserve 275,157 07 

Net Surplus over everything 250,806 61 

President J, F. HOUGHTON 

Vice-President J. L. N. SHEPARD 

Secretary ..CHARLES R. STORY 

General Agent R. H. MAOILL 



JOHN MIDDLETON, 



AGENCIES^ New York— 4a Exchange place. 

This Bank transacts a general Banking and 
Exchange business, issues Letters of Credit and 
Travelers* Credits, available in the principal 
cities of the world. 



ANGLO-NEVADA 
Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, OAL. 

IFIRE «fc MARINE. 

Subscribed Capital $2,000,000. 

Office: 410 Pine street. 



FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, 

300,311 Front St., San Francisco ^ZyO_*r^_jlLj 

The Best and Purest oe California Wines 



and Branches. 



14 Post, and S. W. cor. Powell & Sutter. 



TRY IT! # 





ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

Commence the Mew Year right, 

Economize in every way possible. 
Buy a BIRR BED as a starter 

aud Save Rent. 

BURR FOLDING BED GO. 

GOS MARKET STREET. 




Bed Open. 



W.GREER HARRISON, President and Manager 

J. L. FLOOD Vice-President 

C. P. FARNFIELD Secretary 

J. S. ANGUS Assistant Manager 

Bankers--The Xcvada Bank of 
San Francisco. 



AMERICAN 

SUGAR REFINERY CO. 

San FRAr-csco. 

Manufacturers of all Classes of 

Refined Sugars, including Loaf 

Sugar for Export. 

E. L. G. STEELE, President. 
Ollice, 20S California St. 

E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public &. Commissioner of Deeds. 
238 MONTGOMERY STREET, S. F. 



<fl 



OnDraiiffht ■ /\i |\/pC PHELAN BLOCK. 

only at the l-W UVll L-, tor. Dupont. 

JULIUS GrlBUEN, Proprietor. 



I DDAMPH ST. ANN'S BUILDING, 

' Dr\/"\IN V/ll J Jan. Eddy and Powell. 
j JULIUS GRUEN & MAX VOGELSLANG, Prop'tors 



MAYES 



J OYSTER SALOONI DEALS EXCLUSIVELY IN OYSTERS 



^.TVI> DEPOT. 



40 CALIFORNIA MARKET, entrance on California St. 



DANICHEFF KID GLOVES. No .«9^upSn? street 



w 
m 

i" 

O 



CO 
7s 

-< 



00 

O 



DR. ZEILE'S HAMMAM, 



(Established 1352.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best BATHS on the 
Pacific Coast. Turkish, Russian, Steam, Sulphur or Medicated Baths 

for Ladies and Gentlemen. All on the ground floor (no basement). 



522 to 528 



PACIFIC ST. 

Near KEARNY*. 



M. MEUSSDORFFER'S HATS are " THE " STYLES.™- 



cor. BUSH and MONTGOMERY 
and 404 KEAKNY ST. 



■8 OE 

4 ^ 

© i—( 

* 3 



THE CELEBRATED 



I CHAMPAGNE WINES 



Pi 

© 



Of Messrs. DEUTZ & GELDERMAN, 
Ay, en Champagne. 



CACHET BLANC, Xres See, 

Extra Dry, in Cases, Quarts and Pints. 

Csibiiiet Green Sesil, 

In Baskets, Quarts and Pints. 

ISoi-desntv Ified sum! IVHite 

Wines 

In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Hoclc Mines, 

In Cases, from G. M. Pabstman i Sohn, Mainz. 




THE LARGEST 

Lager Beer 

BREWERY 



OS THE PACIFIC COAST. 

JOHN WIELAND, 

PROPRIETOR, 

Second street, near Folsom, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



I = GHAS. MEINEGKE & CO. 



3 O 



Importers and Sole Agents, 
314 SACRAMENTO STREET, S.F. 



O CAPITAL /^^^mk _r\ Corner of / 




PHOTOGRAPHER, 

8 Montgomery %f .. San Francisco 

Veuve Clicquot 

(Yellow Label) 

CHAMPAGNE. 

Quarts and Pints. 

SOLE A(;ext, 

429 and 431 Battery St., S.F. 

.1. V. LAWREXCE, 

Carpenter and Builder. \o. <"►!:► 
Sacramento street, S. F. 

Cabinet Work and Fitting Up Offices promptly 
attended to. Telephone No. 900. 



rCEIESESSTllirSCTEB 

ARTIFICIAL LIMBS 

ADDRESS 

MENZO SPRING, 
°| 9 Geary St. |J 

S J SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. |S 
St OPFICE B, U 



BECHSTEIN 

Grand and Upright Pianos. 

GENERAL AGENT FOR PACIFIC COAST, 
787 Market street. S. F, 

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. 




Imitated by Many, 

Equaled by None. 

GENERAL AGENT, 

Xo. 39 POST ST. 



STOCK, 

$200,000. 



OUR LAGER BEER IS 
BREWED LY THE NEW 
METHOD AND WAR- 
RANTED T N KEEP IN 
ANY CLIMATE. 



HEEM 






POWELL & FRANCISCO 

STREETS. 
1 l.i.i i'iiom: nor.'. 



ALE f& PORTER 

In Bulk or Bottle. Superior 
to any on the Pacific Coast. 



RUDOLPH MOHR, Sec'y. 



Patronize Home Production. 



CARTE 
BLANCHE, 

IIWIPERIAL^^P 
CABINET, 

Pure and 



CELEBRATED CALIFORNIA 



c *4Jttj», 




ZDelioioias 



IFMeWiilow. 



809 

Montgoniery St. 



Jos. Fredericks 

& CO. 

649 & 651 Market St. 

FURNITURE 

and CARPETS. 

Latest Designs. 



THE BOSS 



For Sale by 



PACIFIC SAW MANUFACTURING CO 

17 & 19 Fremont St., S.F. 



Complete with Pacific Saw Manufacturing Com- 
pany's Extra Biade, set and filed ready 
for work, $1.50 each. 



BEFORE BUYING YOUR 

SAFE 

Call and see our large stock. 
Second-hand Safes always 
on hand. Safes sold on the 
Installment Plan. 

HALL'S SAFE AND LOCK COMPANY, 

211 & 2)13 California St., S. F. 



SA.TJU.'MiAlSlS'S 

RESTAURANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

520 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered dailv. Cakes made to 
Order. Sole Agent for RUSSIAN CAVIAR and 





WESTPHALIA HAMS. 



German Sausages. 
A. ICEI'SCIIE. 



J. D. SPRECKELS & BROS. 



SHIPPING %\!> 



a®- superior to ah in richness & QUALITY. j» Commission Merchants. 



STORAGE 



for 1TRXIT11IE, PIANOS and other 
Goods, at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
HOUSE, 735 Market St. Advances 
made. J, M< PIERCE. 




gflSStt 




.FINE OLD 

TAB LEWISES 



GUTEDEL1 



RHINE FARMj 



AGENTS FOR 

Spreckcls* Line of Hawaiian Packets, S. S, 

Hepworth'a Centrifugal Machines, Reed's 

Patent Pipe and Boiler Covering 1 . 

327 MARKET STREET, 

Cor. Fremont, 
SAX FRANCISCO. 



S TE1NWAY. 



l>oul>le Triumph at London, 1SK5. 
Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
Grand Gold Medal by the Society of Arts for " Best Pianos 
and several meritorious and useful Inventions. 

RE. tiKAV, SO« Post street, S. F. 





CENTRAL 



113 GEARY ST., above Dunont, S. F. 

The most comfortable, cheapest and cleanest Hot and Cold Water Baths in the city with Hot 
or Cold Showers. Salt Water, Sulphur and Itran JJaths. Try them. 

L. CORRIYEAU, proprietor. 



W M d. LEMP'S "^RSFSST-i 




OTTO NORMANN "' 



Sole Agent Pacific Coast. 



BOKER'S 
BITTERS 

Used as a TOMC and COCKTAIL. 
HITTER 

SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

For Sale by all Wholesale Dealers and in all 

First-class Saloons. 



WILLIAMS, DIMOND & CO. 

SHIPPING AIM> 

Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
Junction Marliet & Pine streets, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

AGENTS FOR 
Pacific Mail S. S. Co. ; the Pacific Steam Naviga- 
tion Co. ; the Cunard Royal Mail S. S. Co. ; the 
Hawaiian Line ; the China Traders' Insurance 
Co. (limited) ; the Marine Insurance Co. of 
London ; the Baldwin Locomotive Works ; the 
Glasgow Iron Co. ; Nich, Ashton & Son's Salt. 




DRINK 

CELEBRATED 



SPARKLING NATURAL 
MINERAL WATER. 



SAN FRANCISCO, SATURDAY, JANUARY 23, 1886. 



i 



■ 




^-"V'X/S, 










^ 



SCHMIDT LABEL S- LITHO. CO., SAN FRANCISCO. 



NEXT! 



THE WASP. 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



And now Henry Ward, like a whale, again rises 
to the surface to blow. This time it was to advance 
the unique suggestion that George William Curtis be 
nominated for next President. Somebody ought to 
go over Beech with a monkey-wrench. He is still 
ofi" his nut. 



A woman dropped a squalling baby out of a 
second-story window on Harrison street yesterday. 
It was saved from a broken neck by falling on a 
tramp who was loafing beneath. It is high time 
the vagrant law was enforced in this community. 



The naive report from the Police Department to 
the Grand Jury, to the effect that ninety-two bur- 
glaries had been committed in this" city and six 
arrests made, gives cheering assurance that at least 
one of our leading local industries is in a prosperous 
condition. At the recent annual reunion of the 
Burglars' Protective Association (Limited) at the 
Maison Doree, after a series of ringing resolutions 
had been passed discouraging Highbinder competi- 
tion, the following characteristic song was warbled 
with great effect by that accomplished cracksman 
and genial good fellow, t( Redely the Weasel " : 

THE MODERN BURGLAR. 

I am a first-class modern burglar, 

A scientific cracksman me ; 
With pickpockets and boodle-ringers 

And common thieves I don't agree. 
I stand in with all the detectives, 

I'm solid, too, with Captain Lees, 
And when some hank is nicely burgled, 

They know at once it isn't me. 
Chorus. 
S-s-s-h ! s-s-s-h ! there's some one coming, 

S-s-s-h ! s-s-s-h !— no, it's the cat ; 
The cops are at the grocery bummin', 

They'd rather keep away from that/ 

(Shows slungshot.) 

The cashier now who makes a "shortage " 

No longer skips off to ' ' the Springs ' ' ; 
He just arranges my commission 

And I provide the tools and things. 
I pick the locks and gag the watchman, 

Blow up the safe with dynamite, 
We make a square " div " of the boodle 

And everything comes out all right. 

I used to speculate in Ophir, 

Put up "more mud " on Yellow Jack, 
But now I've tumbled to the racket 

And mean to get my money back. 
I've run a tunnel from the sewer 

Right under the Nevada Bank, 
And when I've collared all the lucre 

I'll travel as a man of rank. 

I'll rent a pew and keep a carriage, 

And buy a house up on Nob Hill j 
111 take some banker's kid in marriage, 

Then join the Union Club I will. 
I'll "see " Boss Buckley— run for Congress, 

And soon I'll in the Cabinet be, 
And when my sack is getting empty 

I'll crack the U. S. Treasury. 



THE CASE OF MR. SOWERS. 

Nothing could be more idiotic than the existing 
Bystem of Civil Service appointments, unless it is 
the sort of questions they ask during the examina- 
tions required. A man applies, for illustration, for 
a letter-copying and window- washing billet in a 
Government oince and the official examiners want 
him to elucidate concerning the avoirdupois weight 
of Saturn and the shortest practicable route between 
Mars and Jupiter, and other " examples" that 
would give old Copernicus himself the brain-fever. 
A striking illustration of the method in question is 
the case of young Mr. Bartholomew B. Sowers of 
Oshkosh, Wisconsin, who recently applied for a mes- 
senger's position in the Internal Revenue office at 
that place. Among the questions propounded to him 
was : 

"If a cannon-ball weighing fifty pounds dropped 
from a height of forty feet makes a dent in the earth 
of nine inches, how deep a dent would a ball weigh- 
ing ninety pounds make if dropped sixty-one feet 
two and one-eighth inches." 

Mr. Sowers wrestled with this hard nut for over a 
week without avail. Finally his reason began to 
totter on its throne, and as a last and desperate 
resort he sought a foundry and had a ball of the 
requisite weight specially cast. Then he cut a hole 
through the side of a grain- elevator at exactly the 
stated height and dropped his ball through the same. 
He then carefully measured the result and handed 
in the figures, confident of securing the prize. It 
was awarded, however, to another competitor named 
Skoonberry, and Sowers afterward learned that his 



perfidious rival, who had watched his movements, 
had the night previous thoroughly wet the ground 
where the cannon-ball dropped, causing it to sink 
in the earth over two feet, which was not the correct 
answer. 

Young Sowers is now in the State insane asylum, 
while old man Sowers is suing the Government for 
$50,000 damages and there is not a jury in the land 
but what would award him the full amount, as old 
Grandmother Curtis will discover. 



"No, Augustus," said Arabella, firmly ; "I can- 
not marry you. I knew that you played pool and 
poker — I could stand that. But now that I under- 
stand you have gone into stocks again I'm obliged 
to cancel our contract. I have no desire to live on 
coffee and doughnuts." 



SONGS BY A SOCIALIST. 



The Montreal small-pox scare has turned out to 
be a false alarm. The Canadians are not to be pitted 
after all. 



HAD TO KNOW. 

Old Major Highkoller is probably the best-bred 
man in Frisco. The other morning he was sitting 
beside a rather corpulent female on the California- 
street dummy. After the car had gotten out beyond 
Webster street the Major lifted his hat and said, 
respectfully : 

" Pardon me, my dear madam, but are you going 
much further out ? " 

" What's that to you, you old masher? " said the 
lady, bridling up. 

" Excuse me, but it is important I should know," 
continued the gallant Major. " My time is limited 
and 1 have already gone six blocks past my destina- 
tion." 

"I'm going to Lone Mountain. What do you 
mean, sir 'I " snapped his neighbor. 

" Then I regret exceedingly to disturb you, but 
under the circumstances I'm compelled to ask you 
to get off my coat-tail." 



The Century's war-paper series calls attention to 
the extraordinary rapidity of army promotions during 
the rebellion. Over sixteen thousand staff officers 
have offered to that publication their personal remi- 
niscences of the capture of Donelson. Only one pri- 
vate has been heard from, and he was on sick leave 
at the time. Derrick Dodd. 



The Government is contemplating the stoppage of 
the coinage of silver dollars. The Collateral Bank, 
15 Dupont street, has millions in his safes, and is 
prepared to make advances on all kinds of securities, 
including city warrants, stocks and bonds. 

Jorkins : I'm going to settle down and marry a 
rich girl. 

Podoeson : I wouldn't. How much better to 
many a poor girl and then you can have the pleasure 
of providing her with everything. 

Jorkins ; Well, that's just where I'm going to 
show my unselfish nature. I want my wife to have 
all the joy of that kind she can get out of life. I 
hate a man who'll never give his wife a chance ! — 
Chicago Rambler. 

He was courting his Sarah Ann for many a year. 
The blusliing maiden had become a mature woman 
with a hint of crow's feet and faded hair. Azariah, 
as he was about to leave her one evening, sympa- 
thetically remarked: "Sarah Ann, I bought a lot 
in the graveyard to-day, that we may lay our bones 
alongside of each other at last. " Sarah Ann insinu- 
atingly rejoined : " Azariah, can't we lay our bones 
alongside of each other while we live '( " 



Mr. Snarley was a rising young philosopher, but 
nevertheless quite struck on the charms of Miss 
Carrie Caneen. His friend Frisk introduced him to 
her as she sat fondling her little dog. 

"Miss Carrie, allow me to introduce you to my 
friend Mr. Snarley, an old college chum, the author 
of Ths Principles of Dogmatism." 

" 0, I am so glad to meet you, Mr. Snarley. I 
am so fond of dogs, you know. I am sure you will 
be able to appreciate the good qualities of my dear 
little Fluffy. Now please tell me something about 
mad dogs ; do, won't you? " 

He wouldn't. — Toronto Grvp. 

Said a teacher to one of his girl pupils : "If your 
father gave you a basket of peaches to divide be- 
tween yourself and your little brother, and there 
were forty peaches in the basket, after you had 
taken your share what would be left 1 " " My little 
brother would be left. " 



One day a wealthy deacon knelt 
To let the Lord know how he felt, 
Assure Him that he truly deemed 
Him worthy to be still esteemed 
And mention that a certain brood 
Of helpless orphans needed food. 
1 Ho-ho ! " cried Satan, " see him squeeze 
His praying-cushion. If his knees 
Are like his heart, the floor, I'll swear, 
"Will thank him for his thoughtful care." 



A great millionaire in apparel fine, 
One evening was getting ready to dine, 
When a shivering tramp in mean attire 
Asked to warm himself by the kitchen fire. 
' Get out ! " cried the cook, "you horrible scamp ! 
Put his master heard, and he took that tramp 
And setting him down by the range to dry, 
Tucked out his skin with all manner of pie, 
And giving him something from every shelf. 
Said : "I was an honest man once, myself." 



O the working man is a jolly old soul — 

A jolly old soul is he ; 
And he scans the general wages-roll 

With a very peculiar glee ; 
And he shakes his head as he eats his bread, 
And he says : " I will paint this country red 

With a touch that's light and free : 

From fifty thousand Chinee 
The color I use I mean to distill." 
You may say he won't, but he says he will, 

And it looks that way to me — 

Sing O hi hoodle-um hee ! 



One day a bull that idly grazed, 

His appetite to gratify, 
Hove up his gnarly head and gazed 

On something that had caught his eye. 

Some wicked men within his sight 
Hand planted near him as he fed 

A scare -crow— stuffed with dynamite, 
Habilimented all in red. 

He couldn't draw his eyes away. 
His heart was going pit-a-pat. 
' Jt makes me mad," said he, "that they 
Should think that I would care for that .' ' 

The story needs not be enlarged— 
You know what dynamite will do — 

My duty fully is discharged, 
The moral I will leave to you. 



" Now, Goodman Giles, yon should be made 
To put your youngster to a trade." 

" They be no traide, zur, now that pays," 

" Tut ! these are not such evil days : 
Put him to something — yes, in faith ! " 

" Oi think OiH put mi, zur, to daath." 



O Biddy, it's progress we're makin': 
Although we have niver a gun, 

O'DonnelTs a divil at shpakin' 
And Kearney's a divil to run. 

Me wurruk will now be shtiddy 
Wheniver we break the peace : 

They'll nade me to throw bombs, 1 iddy, 
Onless I get on the Police. 



Fifty thousand Chinamen, all skillful and laborious, 
A hundred thousand dogs, each considered meritorious. 
The former take the work till our wages are a rarity, 
The latter intercept all the offerings of charity. 



Ach Gott ! der breadt und meat ish come so dear 
I haf not any, und I lifs on beer. 



.Stanley says that you can whip an African king 
with a ghost story quicker than with muskets. Field 
for the campaign liar. 



SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PUB E COL) LIVER OIL, 

WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, 
Very Palatable and Increases Flesh.— Dr. F. H. 
Clement, Brighton, Ills., says: "Scott's Emulsion is the 
best I have ever prescribed. It is very palatable, easily 
assimilated and gives strength and flesh to the patient." 



THE WASP. 



3 



LORD MONTMORENCY'S REFUSAL. 



After Tennyson. 



Sadie Clara Queer de Queer, 

You thought you'd do me nutty brown,- 
Vim thi night youM rake a "scion of 

Nobility " by planking down. 

At me you iuuihimiI. on me you spooned : 

I saw your rosy little game. 
The daughter of a hundred toughs, 

You are not one to hear my name. 

Sadie Clara (^ueer de Queer, 

Si .me other sucker pray entice : 
If all Nob Hill you'd offer, you 

Could never have me at the price. 
You thought a chap like me would snap. 

And you would land me high and dry. 
Your gilded insect wouldn't work 

For I myself, you see, am fly. 

Sadie Clara Queer de Queer, 

Some snoozer put it in my head 
That way hack there in '49 

They found your good grandpapa dead. 
Your stock account and large amount 

Of ready cash are not for me, 
For there was that about his neck 

Would not grace my ancestral tree. 

Sadie Clara Queer de Queer, 

As with his weight the limb he bent, 
Y our grand old ancestor, no doubt. 

Was mighty proud of his descent. 
But you hear me, my chickadee : 

Twere better that you understood 
That grammar scoops the coronet 

And slang is fleas to Norman blood. 

I know you, Clara Queer de Queer ; 

You pine in your palatial shack 
Because the old man cannot buy 

A title for you with his sack. 
And I'd put in my grasping tin 

And buckle onto you for life, 
But (take it in your ear, my duck) 

I'm Cowboy Tom — and got a wife. 



OUR PICTURES. 



General Sheridan still believes in General Crook 
as an Indian fighter. This is a fortune to the latter, 
for a popular vote would certainly relegate him to 
private life. It may he that Sheridan- is right and 
that the experience of Crook may be now utilized in 
effective work. Unless success shall attend the 
operations of the next thirty days, it is highly prob- 
able that the General of all our armies may have to 
desert his pet and give General Miles a chance to 
add new laurels to his already brilliant record. 
General Crook has yet a chance to redeem his good 
name which the wily savage has much engloomed. 

Our artist has given us in this number of the 
Wasp a moving panorama of the Indian question as 
it has worked to the present time. The cartoon 
commences with General Crook reading his orders 
from the authorities at Washington. The Indian is 
next seen in the act of brutal murder ; General 
Crook meets him in council and charges him with 
his atrocities, and though holding in secret hiding 
the scalp of the white settler, the Indian barefacedly 
denies his guilt. Seeking to return him to the 
Reservation, the General is surprised at his escape 
and follows him. At last he thinks he has liim " in 
the door," when suddenly the wily red-skin turns 
upon his pursuer and "nails him to the wall." 
Escaping with the General in hot pursuit, the keen- 
witted savage " doubles on his tracks," and although 
the scouts seem to have him surrounded, he mixes 
them and the General in sudden confusion, from 
which they emerge to find themselves the only 
wounded parties, and the Indian gone ! Thus has 
it been to this date, and in agony of soul the miner, 
traveler and settler in Arizona cry, How long, O 
Lord ! how long. 

Our first-page cartoon follows legitimately that of 
last week, wherein General Rosecrans received a 
merited rebuke at the hands of Columbia for his 
defamation of Grant. The sin of traducing the dead 
seems to be epidemic. And now comes General 
Lew. Wallace and has his fling at the inurned 
Halleck. This is a business, however, that is not 
without its dangers. The honored dead have still 
living friends to whom their memories are sacred 



and these will irk rest quietly and hear their patron 
saints in glory slandered or minified. They insist 
on preserving the facts of history as made by heroes 
in the flesh, and will not permit a transposition of 
the little into the places earned by the departed 
great. How noble by the contrast stands out tin- 
conduct of General Sherman, who rebukes these 
fault-tinders of the dead, and ever proclaims that 
too great glory cannot be accorded to the nramories 
of those who were his associates in the conflict of 
war. Brothers in arms they were, but rivals he 
never considered them. 

We are not disposed fco lie hypercritical .as to home 
institutions ; and when matters go about half right 
we let them wag on without critical notice. But bo ; 
many complaints come up to us as to the manage- j 
ment of our "free public library" that we cannot ] 
ignore the general clamor. Our artist has told the 
story in colors. The grievances are various. Be- 
cause one book of a series, or of a certain branch of 
investigation has been injured by some careless ' 
boiTower, the entire line of authorities in that direc- 
tion is forbidden to subsequent inquirers : if the fly- 
leaf of Robinson Orusoe lias been torn, then the book 
is padlocked. Because a critical pen lias indorsed 
upon a marginal page of George Eliot's novels the 
fact that she was not regularly married, are all of 
her works to be denied the reader \ In a few words 
and without going through the long list of com- 
plaints, what is wanting in the management of the 
library is a wiser discretion as to delivery or refusal 
of books, more consideration for the convenience of 
the public, a greater degree of politeness in the 
subordinates who serve their patrons ; more self- 
sacrifice and less indifference in the assistants, and 
generally an atmosphere throughout the building 
that the management of San Francisco's Free Public 
Library is the servant of the people and not then* 
master. 



"LONG-FELT WANTS.' 



CAMPAIGN NOTES. 



The political pot is already simmering for this 
year's election. -For Governor the Republicans have 
Chancellor Hartson, John F. Swift, VV. \V. Morrow, 
Charles F. Reed, N. D. Rideout, Thomas F. Bard, 
Irving M. Scott, Horace Davis and Dr. W. F. 
McNutt. Although the last named gentleman has 
not been associated with politics, still there is a 
strong current working in his favor. The medical 
fraternity is enthusiastic for him, and not excepting 
even the circuit rider of the Methodist pulpit, we 
know of no influence more potent in the country 
than that of the village doctor. Again, Dr. McNutt 
is of Scotch descent, and hence the sons of "auld j 
Scotia," together with a good reserve of Briton's i 
sons, would take great pride in voting for one of ' 
their own set. Altogether the Doctor has many 
strong points of availability. Still there is no cer- ; 
tainty that he would give up his large and remuner- i 
ative practice for any political preferment. In the i 
opinion of his best friends he would be very foolish 
to do so. 

We hear the name of George A. Knight favorably 
mentioned for a seat upon the Supreme Court bench. 
It is argued in his favor that he is clear headed, has ' 
a logical mind, is well grounded in the fundamental 
principles of the law, and is young, energetic and ' 
industrious. It is claimed that the court needs some 
new and vigorous blood to keep pace with the in- 
creasing litigation that is cumbering its dockets. 
With this view his candidacy is regarded with con- ; 
siderable favor. We should regard it as a loss to ; 
the bar, however, to still his eloquent voice from 
argument and remove Ins convincing talent from 
forensic effort. 

On the Democratic side of the arena we have 
Budd, Dunn, Stoneman, Ryland, Reddy, Dunphy, 
Bartlett, Green, Tinnin and Andrew J. Bryant. 
When it comes to getting at the inside of things and 
touching the popular chord of a convention there 
are very few as smart workers as Bryant, and we 
advice the other candidates to keep their weather- 
eyes on his plume for he is "a daisy " to electioneer. 

For Supreme Judge on the Democratic side Judge 
Toohy is generally accepted as a candidate, and if 
his usual luck attends him he will secure the ermine. 
The Judge was the only candidate able to "break 
the slate " when he was nominated for the Superior 
Court. He will not have to do that now, as Ins 
popularity and power are recognized by the party 
and its leaders. 



Mary had a little lamb — 

The tale you heard before ; 
She ate it, Christmas, with berry jam, 

And now she sighs for more.—Goodall's Sun. 



A society for prevention of investigation and 
exposure. 

Legislation equalizing the profits of embezzlement 
in the public offices. 

A training school fur teaching dogs the elementary 
principles of decency and civility. 

A Congressional law giving the Signal Service a 
monopoly of the weather-topic. 

A heavy penalty for inquiring about any person's 
health, unless the question be put by, or to, a 
physician, 

A Government reservation for owners of dogs. 

The absence by death of the "public-spirited 
citizen. " 

Forty thieves and tlu-ee hundred able-bodied idiots 
to perform the services now performed by the 
' ' public-spirited citizen. " 

A popular Uprising against the plow — which dis- 
places white spaders, works for nothing a day, 
spends no money in the country and will not 
assimilate. 

A pension law for dogs disabled when in active 
service insulting travelers on the public roads and 
terrifying visitors. 

An old ladies' home for the reverend debaters of 
the Congregational Club. 

Some practicable plan of counting the vice-pres- 
idents of a public meeting. 

An anti-nastiness law requiring women to keep 
their faces clean and compelling the vendor of cos- 
metics to kiss Iris customers. 

A taller thermometer for registering the tempera- 
ture of that portion of Sheol set apart for people 
who like dogs. 

Asylums with padded walls for people who ca r e 
what the currency is. 

A California locality which has not the finest 
scenery and best climate in the State. 

A man who loves the people yet has another 
source of income. 

An instantaneous and painless method of settling 
a question of veracity between a man who says his 
dog won't bite and the dog, who says lie will. 

A high joint commission for delimiting the line 
between patriotism and insanity. 

More zeal in punishing men convicted of " promi- 
nent citizenship," and less in their detection. 

Restoration of the ordeal of combat between the 
American statesman and the English language. 

A constituency which having sent a man to "the 
halls of legislation" to steal for it, does not kick 
when he steals for himself. 

Something that will make a man who resents an 
insult to his dog resent an insult to his mother. 

A law for retiring from political service all figures 
of stump speech which have attained the age of 
sixty-two years. 

A rhyme for "silver," so that the poets can have 
a hack at the financial question. 

A secret society that will frankly call itself the 
Conceited Order of Glittering Idiots. 

A society for mutual advantage that is not based 
on the theory that twice two adversities make five 
prosperities. 

A professional assassin who will undertake to 
prevent M. Pasteur from thwarting the judgments 
of Heaven. 

An association of wives and cliildren to inquire 
into the means by which they are supported. 

An iron hand to suppress the pretensions of Oak- 
land. 

A young society man of faultless deportment who 
knows how to behave himself in a bar-room. 

High license for dogs. 

A kind of type in winch " puffs " can be set so as 
to look to the advertiser like the regular reading 
matter of the paper, and to the reader like an adver- 
tisement. 

No dogs. 

Said a neighbor to me: "There is much in a 
name. I once knew a family of the name of Shaw. 
The eldest, a boy, was called Hartford, two girls 
were called Hartulia and Hartess respectively, and 
the two youngest boys Hartman and Hartwell. The 
youngest daughter was named Hartunia. I asked 
Mr. Shaw why these curious cognomens, to which 
Ids reply was : ' I don't propose when I want a 
young one to stand on the cold landing of an early 
winter morning and study names. I simply call 
Hart. They all come out and I pick the one I want 
and the rest can go back to bed.' " — Detroit Post. 



Fredericksburg Eheingold now on draught. Don't fail 
to try it. 



THE WASP. 



The Wasp 



VOLUME XVI. 



WHOLE NUMBER, 495. 



SATURDAY, 



- JANUARY 23, 1886. 



PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT 538 CALIFORNIA ST. BY 

THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 



Terms to Subscribers : 
One copy, one year, or 52 numbers - - - §5 00 
One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - - 2 50 

One copy for thirteen weeks - 1 25 

Postage free to all parts of the United States, Canada 
and British Columbia. To all other countries one dollar 
per year extra. The country trade supplied by the San 
Francisco News Company. All Postmasters are authorized 
to take subscriptions for the Wasp, payable invariably in 
advance. 



[Entered at the Postoffice at San Francisco for transmission 
at second class rates.] 



No questionable advertisements will be inserted in this 
journal on any terms. 



Mark Twain has been a funny man in his day, 
and though the humor that once set thousands in a 
roar has vanished with the poverty which Mark 
joked away, a fond public is still unwilling to 
believe that the jester is no more. We are sorry 
for Mark the Jester and our grief is mingled with 
disgust for those who will not let the ashes of the 
dead clown be but persist in stirring them up in the 
vain hope of evolving a latent spark. Foremost 
among those desecrators of the tomb of Mark the 
Jester is Mark the Money-worm. Aided and abetted 
by the minions of the Associated Press, Mr. Samuel 
Clemens takes his spade and dark lantern, hies him 
to the burying ground and rattles the skeleton of 
poor Mark Twain. His last atrocious desecration 
was committed at the Typotheta dinner in New York 
one evening of this week. Here is what the Asso- 
ciated Press conspirators say of the infamy : 

At the Typotheta dinner last night Mark Twain made a 
long and humorous speech, of which the following is 
a sample : "The chairman's historical reminiscences about 
Guttenberg and Caxton have cast me into the reminiscent 
mood. For I also in a small way am an antiquity. I was 
acquainted with the printer of the olden time. I swept 
out his office for him and carried his papers about for him. 
The carrier was then an object of interest to all the dogs 
in the town. If I had saved up all the bites I ever received 
I could keep M. Pasteur busy for a year." 

"Of which the following is a sample." The irony 
of those rascals cannot be repressed. They tele- 
graph this mournful specimen over three thousand 
miles as a sample. They should rather have called 
it an epitaph, an affidavit, an indisputable proof 
that Samuel Clemens, Esquire, of Hartford, Con- 
necticut, was masquerading in the motley of Mark 
Twain, a humorist erst of the Pacific Coast, who 
departed this life some years back, and that S. 
Clemens, Esq. , was making a mighty poor fist of the 
business. 



Frank Pixley is recognized as a bright- witted man 
who writes unusually well and who has a happy 
knack of clothing his somewhat eccentric ideas in 
pleasant language. Like most men of his order 
of genius Mr. Pixley is not averse to notoriety, of 
that respectable sort of course which has its origin 
in the fact of doing odd things. Therefore when 
Mr. Pixley says one thing in his paper one week 
and makes a contradictory assertion the next, the 
public having been instructed by this remarkable 
person himself that he is deficient in sincerity, con- 
tents itself with admiring Mr. Pixley's versatility. 
Therefore when last week Mr. Pixley denounced 
Dr. O'Donnell and republished the crank coroner's 
most incendiary sentences, Mr. Pixley's readers 



remembered that the very doctrine that gentleman 
so vigorously denounced was published in the 
Argonaut at so much a line, making that journal a 
supplement as it were to the sand-lot and imploring 
its readers to get their bombs ready and blow the 
Chinese to atoms. It is not fair therefore to cast 
stones at the incendiary goose which dropped so 
many golden eggs into Mr. Pixley's till. It is 
ingratitude of the darkest stripe to assail O'Donnell 
for sentiments which Mr. Pixley set before his 
thousands of readers for their conversion to dyna- 
mite doctrine. 



When William Redmond, M. P., talked about 
the Russians stabling their horses in the House of 
Commons unless Parnell's demands were acceded to 
he was committing himself to bosh and no doubt 
got rapped over the knuckles by Ins leader for the 
offense. The Home Rulers are entitled to the fullest 
sympathy for the gallant struggle they have made 
against big odds, but Mr. Redmond's nonsense is of 
that character which disgusts those who wish Ins 
party well. Not the least difficult part of Parnell's 
management must be the repression of excitable 
young orators of Redmond's stripe, who, to be 
slangy, must shoot their mouths off when they get 
before an audience or burst. 



A soldier at the Presidio has confessed that he 
painted two hundred pictures in 1885, of which all 
were sold with the exception of five or six. This 
must be melancholy reading for the professionals 
who have not an artilleryman's pay to depend upon 
and who must knock down paint and canvas to the 
highest bidder or bar their doors against the land- 
lord and dye their beards to escape the scrutiny of 
the grocer and butcher. The way of the artist is 
hard in this city and how so many hang on to such 
a profitless profession is an evidence of the fascina- 
tion that art possesses for its votaries. Yet house- 
building goes on, but the people who make homes 
for themselves confine their art-longings for the 
most part to chromos and engravings. And for the 
most part they show their taste and good sense. 
For this State can boast of some of the vilest daubers 
who ever mixed colors, men who would be better 
and more properly employed whitewashing fences 
than libeling unprotected nature on canvas. We 
have a few good painters, but even those few have 
to resort to art-auctions to struggle along. And 
nothing is so demoralizing to the artist as the 
auction. He begins we will say in January to paint 
for an auction in April. His motto is quantity not 
quality. He knows that his pictures must be up to 
a certain standard, but that certain standard is 
usually a low one. There is no time for line finish, 
no time to correct errors or heighten effects. He 
trusts to the glib auctioneer to fill in the blanks and 
work upon the art-ignorance of the average picture- 
buyer. This military artist states that he has 
received $400 for his two hundred pictures during 
the year. This at the rate of $2 per painting is an 
acknowledgment of the modesty of the painter. 
And without knowing anything about his work we 
venture the opinion they were probably quite as 
good as those the auctioneer knocks down for $10 and 
$20 (exclusive of frame) at those much-advertised 
sales. 



ravaged by the fierce blast, the Signal Service men 
laughed and knew that for once they had earned 
their salaries. 



The Signal Service people are happy no matter 
how the granger and the rest of the world may 
growl. When the red flag went up on the Mer- 
chants' Exchange Tuesday the old mariners sneered 
and protested as they have often done before that 
the storm- prophets were away out of their reckoning 
tins time. But when Wednesday's gale set in and 
the rain poured and signs came clattering down and 
branches of trees were wrenched off and ships 
plunged and tugged at their moorings and umbrellas 
were twisted inside out and town and harbor were 



" An autopsy was made yesterday on the body of 
William Lewis, who was stabbed New Year's night 
by Frank Fabre." "Matthew T. Eddy, who was 
shot in the abdomen last Sunday night, died last 
evening from the effects of the wound." "David P. 
Mish was killed last night by Dr. McDonald. 1 
These are extracts from one of Wednesday's morning 
papers. Can we complain if the Eastern journals 
point to San Francisco as a city noticeable for the 
frequency of its shooting and stabbing affrays i We 
are building new houses, making handsome improve- 
ments everywhere, establishing universities, pro- 
gressing in almost every channel but this single and 
most important one of law and order. In the early 
days when the Vigilance Committee took upon itself 
to purify the town and give the murderer short 
shrift, the laxity of the laws was the apology for its 
existence. Crimes of violence are now more preva- 
lent than in those times even with our increase of 
population considered. It is no use concealing the 
unpleasant truth. This city is in a bad way in tliis 
regard. The man who ponders upon a bloody 
reprisal for a real or imaginary wrong knows that 
his chances of escape from punishment are as ten to 
one against his conviction. Meanwhile Christian 
associations, bands of holiness, churches and reli- 
gious organizations of all kinds flourish. We are 
working up a grand superficial piety, but not strong 
enough to hide the smoke of the murderer's pistol 
or the blood-stains on the assassin's knife. 



At this, the close of the third week of the year, 
we call attention in all due modesty to the improved 
appearance of the Wasp, pictorially and typograph- 
ically. In changing the form of our pages from two 
to three columns we also introduced a new dress of 
type which gives a clearer and better impression 
than the old and is more attractive to the eye of the 
reader. To our cartoons we have added two colors, 
making five in all, and no cartoon paper on the 
continent employs more, while nearly all of those 
west of New York are satisfied with three. Those 
five colors give an artistic value and finish to 
our pictures, apart from their topical interest. 
Our cartoon on the silver question has made the 
biggest hit of any picture ever presented by the 
Wasp. Though issued two weeks ago we are in 
constant receipt of demands for the edition in which 
it appeared, an evidence of its popularity in deline- 
ating the true significance of this important question. 
Our representatives in Washington were each fur- 
nished with a copy and expressed themselves highly 
gratified with the cartoon and congratulated the 
Wasp upon having made a stronger presentation 
of the case than any of those illustrated journals who 
attempted it. In view of these things we may be 
excused for referring to the promise made at the 
opening of the year, as a promise fulfilled. 



The reporter seeking a sensation will brook no 
obstacle. If he is instructed to see the man who 
shot his wife, and interview him, and he finds that 
there is no murdered wife to grow pathetic over, or 
no low-browed, villainous-looking murderer to de- 
nounce, he feels like a falcon cheated of his sparrow, 
and would incite the swindler to slaughter his wife 
if he dared. A few days ago the Chronicle insisted 
that a little boy in Oakland had been clubbed to 
death by his playmate, the doctors certificate to the 
contrary. To please the reporter the coroner ex- 
humed the body, and the autopsians found the child 
had died from natural causes. The question now is 
has the coroner won the Chronicle's favor by com- 
plying with its sensational demands, or will that 
journal hate the official because the boy's skull was 
unfractured. 



THE WASP. 



PRATTLE, 



An old hen named Kate Sanborn has laid a 
literary egg entitled, The Vanity •"»/ Insanity 
of Genius, and all the cockerel "critics" of the 
country arc cackling in its praise. I have not read 
the tiling — God forbid ! — but a critical capon all 
over bejoyed of the performance says, in a local 
newspaper, that he has " gathered a mass of anec- 
dotes in regard to famous men of all ages, to bear 
out her theory that there is a very narrow line 
between genius and insanity " — which gives me all 
the knowledge of the matter that I want. Her 
theory indeed ! as if it had not been the conviction 
of every lignicephalus dullard from the days of 
Job — a conviction so rooted in their bones, so nour- 
ished by their envy and bearing such fruit of 
comfort to their peasant souls that it has served 
them in place of a religion. When was it not true 
that he by blockheads was accounted mad who 
spoke after a fashion that themselves could not 
understand, challenged the reports of their eyeless 
observation or disputed the things they thought 
their thoughts, parroted from one another through 
centuries of unexamining acceptance ? 



These paunchpates digestionless have for genera- 
tions been quoting in their support the assurance 
of a famous poet that " great wits to madness nearly 
are allied" — or as we should say to-day, "great 
abilities" or "talents." Did he mean what they 
think I Naturally no, for he had himself greater 
wits than any man living. He was affirming the 
thinness of the division between reason and unreason, 
and he put it as strongly as he could, as if he had 
said — as doubtless he would have said had his meter 
permitted : " Even great wits to madness nearly are 
allied." How much closer, then, the kinship of 
little wits. Suppose I write : 

Man's works are leveled to the plain at last, 
Strong towers, crumbling, fall before the blast — 
Must Sir Blockhead take me to mean that strong 
towers are alone unstable, and feeble ones exempt 
from decay ? May I be buried face downward if I 
am not fatigued of all fools ! 



Mad, quoth'a ! The only man who is not alto- 
gether mad is he who is not altogether destitute 
of genius. What is genius '? A thousand definitions 
have been made. I shall attempt none, yet I think 
I can help all but the blockheads to an understand- 
ing of the matter. In the first place, I believe it to 
be in some degree a very common faculty. There 
are few, I fancy, but have been at times conscious 
of liaving solved a problem, struck out a bright 
thought or hit upon a felicitous expression, by some 
lightning process altogether unlike those customary 
methods whose deliberate action enables us to trace 
and record their steps — a process which takes the 
mind to its mark with as straight and incompre- 
hensible a certainty as the flight of a homing pigeon. 
In most of us this is a rare phenomenon ; in many 
it never occurs. Many experience but do not mark. 
But the man to whom this straight and sure process 
is habitual ; in whom it is the natural and customary 
mental mode ; who gets to his conclusions without 
the help of premises ; who, like a master of the rifle, 
hits his mark without sighting ; who is right auto- 
matically, he knows not how, — him we call, dis- 
tinctively, a genius, particularly if his gift display 
itself in those things which arrest attention and 
address our sympathies, as art, literature and war, 



There are those who deny that there is such a 
thing as genius, as there are men born blind who, 
under the same circumstances, would deny that 
there is such a thing as color. There is genius ; it 
is not a debatable question, for though he who 



affirms may know, he who denies cannot be shown. 
It is no " faculty divine " but a perfectly natural 
intellectual method or process, though not subject 
to analysis. By means of it, its possessor may know- 
things without having learned them. It may not be 
true tluit Homer instructed the brickmakeiB how to 
make bricks, nor the cobbler how to mend -sandals. 
Possibly Lord Brougham did not teach the brewers 
a trick worth knowing in making beer, but the 
currency of such anecdotes in all ages attest a truth 
that is obvious and pll literature is full of its illus- 
trations. How did Dickens know the horrors of 
solitary confinement — not that it is horrible; that 
we all know ; but exactly in what way, succession 
and order certain dreadful feelings assail the sufferer. 
His description of tliis kind of torture has been 
verified by hundreds who have endured it. Yet it 
is known that he did not derive it from the poor 
wretch by whose fate it was suggested, nor from 
anything but his " inner consciousness." How came 
it that Hugo, a civilian who had never seen a battle, 
related the story of Waterloo as never battle-story 
was related before. No soldier can read it with an 
even pulse ; the spirit of battle is in every line ; and 
that is not true of any other prose description of any 
other battle. Where are the countless other annal- 
ists of the gigantic struggle I what has become of 
their work ? Consumed utterly in the conflagration 
of Hugo's genius. And at this day, in tins distant 
land, there is exhibited to enthusiastic hundreds 
of thousands a panorama of the fight at Waterloo, 
where you will see nothing but was painted from 
Hugo's imagination and hear nothing but the words 
in which he set down his vision. I confess the 
pronunciation of most of the proper names is not 
Hugo's. 



I am persuaded that in genius only is perfect 
mental health. In sickness we are conscious of our 
condition ; the well man thinks not how well he 
is — counts not his pulse-beats, notes not the action 
of his lungs, nor by dyspepsia is forced to think of 
digestion. All his organs perform their offices un- 
thought on. But for sickness, there had been no 
physiology ; but for mental disability, no logic. 
The mind conscious of its own methods is making a 
record of symptoms. "I have a liver," says the 
poor devil yellowing all over with jaundice. " Man 
has a mind," says the philosopher ; and so keen is 
the preacher's consciousness of this pestering posses- 
sion that he considers it the sole verity of his 
existence and expects to endure it forever — as a 
dyspeptic might affirm the immortality of the 
stomach, whereas the man of sane digestion would 
not know he had a stomach unless told. When you 
can trace the workings of your mind it is because it 
is working badly. The supple joints of the healthy 
reason do not squeak. The carrier pigeon which 
takes note of mountain headland and river is lost. 



"Well, genius is vain and conceited, anyhow," 
saith Blocktop. May I never live to be a doddering 
and imbecile old man if this be not stupidity divine ! 
It was vanity, was it, Gutbrains, when Shakespeare 
began one of his immortal sonnets : ' 

Not marble, not the gilded monuments 
Of princes Bhall outlive this powerful rhyme. 
It would have been vanity in a blockhead ; it would 
conceitedly have introduced a feeble and ephemeral 
rhyme. It was conceit, was it, Smirkface — the 
superb unconcern with which Heine answered one 
of your kind who had assailed him in a newspaper : 
' ' I am to be tried in the assizes of literature. I 
know who I am." It would have been conceit in 
you, Slushwump. 

A man brags of his ancestors without offense and 
bedaubs all his belongings, to the very collar of his 



dog, with the visible assertion of his illustrious 
descent. Your host at dinner is warm in praise of 
his own wine, and you think it a mighty pretty 
weakness. I'll lie roasted whole if I know why a 
man liaving genius should not speak of it! Out 
with it, Brother Pixley, out with it. End of the 
iliscuKisf on <:, niiis. 



By careless omission of the words " at Bull Run," 
last week, my statement that Generate Beauregard 
and Johnston both "claimed the chief command" 
was a trifle indefinite, but I trust the Wasp has not 
a reader who did not supply the missing words from 
his own knowledge and reading. To be ignorant of 
anything about the civil war — not to know accurately 
how any considerable event occurred, both ways — 
would be ignorance indeed in these days when every 
old soldier is in his anecdotage. This business 
of being an old soldier is overdone : its growth 
threatens to swallow up every other industry in the 
country. That is not the worst of it. It will not 
do to say that the old soldiers fought better tlian 
they talk, for most of them talk pretty well, and 
many didn't fight ; but it is certain that the fighting 
did a deal more good than the talking. These battle 
yarns, indeed, are nursing a bably war, which now 
lies mouthing its fat knuckles and marking time 
with its pinky feet, in a cradle of young imagina- 
tions, but in another decade it will be striding 
through the land in seven-league boots, chewing 
soap. Every generation must have its war ; that is 
a law of nature ; but if the younkers who are now 
tucking out their mental skins with the gingery 
comestible supplied by old soldiers do not kick up a 
shindy compared with which the late war was a 
season of religious tranquility you may have my 
share of the national debt. 



O Young Men's Christian Association, 

I'd really like to be told— 
If the question meets your approbation — 

At what age a young man grows old. 

For twenty years I have watched your members- 
Well stricken in years at first — 

Bending beneath successive Decembers, 
Like Struldbrugs old and accurst. 

Ponce de Leon in Florida's wildwood 
Searched for the Fountain of Youth ; 

\)o you think that you in second childhood 
Have found it, in very truth 1 

And tell me, pray, another thing, never 

Clearly by me understood : 
To wit — at what time of life, if ever, 

Young Christians begin to be good. 



We shall at last have a newspaper in San Francisco 
that is worth reading : a local contemporary has 
promised us something from the pen of a lady who, 
the editor assures us, is "a star that pulsates in the 
heaven of the soul, now exploring the abysmal 
depths, now soaring in the empyrean of space, urged 
by the restless fires of feeling and impulse." That's 
all very well, neighbor ; she may pulsate undisturbed 
in the heaven of your soul, and explore your abysmal 
depths — which, I take it, is to do pretty much the 
same thing ; but let me catch sight of her soaring in 
the empyrean of this paper and I'll fill her so full 
of shot that she'll never dare to swim a creek. If I 
don't I'm a goat. 



My good friends, please don't say, any more, that 
Clerk McCarthy " got up and dusted." If you vMl 
use slang, use it with some relevancy to the facts. 
Our embezzlers all go across the water to Honolulu 
now. Mr. McCarthy got up and spattered. 



It seems to be the prevailing opinion that if 
Germany holds on to the Samoan Islands an acorn 
should be planted at once to produce the keel of a 
first-class man-of-war. 



6 



THE WASP. 



THE "BULLETIN" GHOST. 



' The ghosts are all gone, " the Bulletin cries. 
O neighbor, good neighbor, where are your eyes ? 
Gruesome and ghastly, beneath your nose 
A ghost is stalking that never goes. 
With a stony eye and a brow of gloom, 
It enters the editorial room, 
It haunts the passages, haunts the stairs — 
Editors, printers alike it scares ; 
But the reader most it appals, for still 
It writes and writes with a real quill, 
On real paper, in real ink, 

The phantoms of thoughts that dead men think. 
Sheeted ideas from wormy brains 
Troop o'er the paper, and spooks of strains 
Of sepulchral laughter seem to float 
In the air as the ghost reads what it wrote ; 
And a faint white phosphorescent ray — 
The visible eloquence of decay — 
Gleams on its lips as it reads each word 
In a tone that no mortal ear has heard. 
Copy to printer and ghost to tomb- 
Silent the editorial room. 
O the Bulletin ghost is indeed a most 
Remarkable kind of a Bulletin ghost. 
Who sees it cries, as his heart were bled : 

' O God ! will Bill Bartlett never stay dead ? " 



JOLLY FELLOWS. 



Rich men attract parasites, wise men pupils, good 
men imitators ; but jolly fellows are singular in 
having companions. A man who is never seen alone 
must be a good companion. Of the few in this 
charming city who deserve to be classed amongst 
jolly fellows, the most noteworthy is Con Sullivan. 
His leisure is as ample as his means, and he moves 
about amongst his companions merely to enhance 
their pleasures. He is not a whit exclusive ; he 
would stroll along Montgomery street with Governor 
Stoneman or walk up Bush street with Bill English. 
Upon many a day he has talked Judge Hoffman to 
a standstill at lunch and then turned to Frank 
Pixley and offered him Ins cigar case. But for Con 
Dave Callaghan would become an anchorite and 
Judge Tobin would work himself into a fever within 
the year. No other man blends pleasure with busi- 
ness as skillfully as does Con Sullivan. He never 
knows where the first begins or the second ends. 
Never early anywhere, never in a hurry, never late, 
the man is not born that ever saw Mm look at a 
watch or glance at a clock. He floats along the 
stream of time, fearing neither rocks nor shoals. 
Who ever saw a shadow on his merry face ? Did 
ever a sturdier figure pose in the halls where smiles 
are blended ? The charm of his disposition is that 
it grows more mellow with age. The bright side of 
his character is that he is forever finding new com- 
panions and that he never forsakes the old ones 
whom years and many pleasures have knitted to Ms 
soul. 

Maurice Schmidt is known in three continents as 
a jolly fellow. At the University of Lausanne he 
gathered about him all the brightest students who 
hailed from the United States and Glasgow. His 
lodgings were a perpetual scene of charming gayeties. 
If he failed to make the herculean strides in the 
study of the sciences wliich his indulgent parents 
expected, they had the proud satisfaction of wel- 
coming home a son deeply read in the secrets of life. 
On his way from Switzerland to California he made 
a short stay in India, where the Parsees welcomed 
him to their temples in Delhi and Poonah, and in- 
scribed Ms name in Sanscrit as " the jolliest of 
mortals ! " Who will dispute such ancient authori- 
ties ? If proof of modern date be needed the 
questioner is answered by the thundering voices of a 
thousand boon companions who have made the walls 
of the Maison Dore'e and Marchand's ring with 
melodious mirth while enjoying the exhilarating 
theater suppers that Maurice delights to give. He 
never dines alone ; five, nine or thirteen must sit at 
the same table. These' are his minimum, medium 
and maximum numbers, but the science of mathe- 
matics would be exhausted if the delights of these 
jolly moments were calculated. 

William Dresbach's pale face conceals a sunny 
soul. His mirth is never of a boisterous kind, 
neither does it take the form of spending money 
with a reckless hand. He is one of the few men 
living of whom it may be truthfully written "that 
wine cannot make him jolly ! " for he is jolly 
already. Nature made him such a man, but art has 



enabled him to conceal the fact. No contradiction 
could be more absolute than Dresbach's mental 
habit and outward appearance. Falstaff's flabby 
sides never shook with heartier mirth than that 
which constantly but secretly vibrates through the 
attenuated form of the foremost wheat speculator. 
Let the Liverpool market but advance one penny 
per quarter for wheat and the effect on 'Change is 
magical. Dresbach is the fountain of magnetism ; 
he quietly approaches Johnny Rosenfeld until their 
elbows touch ; instantly the little man flutters like a 
dove. Dresbach next gives Captain Meyer a gentle 
pressure of the right hand and his face glows with 
jovial light. Then' McNear joins the group ; the 
polarized light from Dresbach's eye sets him off like 
a lighted match to a fuse. The quartet are jolly, 
brimful of mirth, three of them on slight provocation 
would sing or dance, but Dresbach's sphinx-like face 
never changes a muscle, yet without his inspiring 
presence his companions would grope about as list- 
lessly as if they were confined unshackled in a 
dungeon. 

A list of jolly fellows that omitted the name of 
George T. Marye, Jr., would be lamentably incom- 
plete. Fun sparkles from his merry blue eyes, 
humor dances on his sprightly lips ; Ms gait and air 
of negligence is an invitation for every one to be 
funny. In the gravest passages of his life his flow 
of spirits is impetuous. The solemn councils of the 
Regents of the State University he transforms into 
scenes of wild hilarity. Judge Hager has more than 
once threatened to resign "unless the frolics of that 
boy were curbed. " But the Judge might as well try 
to make rain-drops cling to a duck's back as to make 
the youthful George either solemn or sober. He 
was born jolly, he has a jolly name, he leads a jolly 
life and when the gods call for a merry fellow they 
will not be disappointed if Marye junior responds. 

HIS WIFE TALKS ON THE TRAIN. 



AN OLD PRINT'S PHILOSOPHY. 



Now I'll tell you why I wouldn't go into the 
restaurant and have a cup of coffee with you while 
we were waiting for the train. 1 didn't like the way 
you asked me. Keep quiet, I have the floor. Not 
half an hour before you asked Mr. Puffer, " Come, 
let's get a cigar," and away you went, giving Mm no 
chance to decline. When we met John O'Howdy 
on our way to luncheon you said : " Just in time, 
John ; come take lunch with us." And then to- 
night, when we found the train nearly an hour late, 
you looked at your watch, turned to me and said in 
a questioning way: "Would you like a cup 
of coffee 1 " 

And 1 didn't want it. I was tired and a little 
hungry, but I would have fainted before I accepted 
such an invitation. And you went away a little 
vexed with me and had your coffee and bread and 
butter by yourself and didn't enjoy it very much. 
In effect you said to me : "If you want a cup of 
coffee, if you really want it, I will buy it for you. " 
You are the best husband in the world, but you do 
as nearly all best husbands do. Why do you men 
seem to dole things out to your wives when you 
fairly throw them to the men ? Why don't you in- 
vite me heartily as you invite men ? Why don't 
you say : "Come, let's get a little coffee and some- 
thing to eat," and take me right along with you? 
You wouldn't say to a man : " Would you like me 
to go and buy you a cigar?" Then why do you 
issue your little invitations to treats in that way to 
me? Indeed, indeed, my dear husband, if men 
would only act toward their wives as heartily as they 
do to the men they meet they would have better 
companions at home than at the club. 



Mr. Sol Smith Russell tells how he recently 
renewed an acquaintance with Mr. Otto Schnel- 
garten of Milwaukee. Schnelgarten set up the beer 
and presently he said : 

"Led me see, Sol, you oond me vos apoud the 
same age, ain'd it ? How old vos you, anyvay ? " 

"I am thirty-seven years old, "replied Mr. Russell. 

"Ach, gome now — dot vos a choke!" insisted 
ScMielgarten, smiling skeptically. 

"No," protested Mr. Russell, "I was born in 
1848." 

"In eighdeen fordy-eighd, eh?" cried Schnel- 
garten. "Getoud! I gatch you now — you told 
me dot den years ago ! " — Chicago News. 

"I don't want no rubbish, no fine sentiments, 
if you please," said the widow who was asked what 
land of an epitaph she desired for her late husband's 
tombstone. " Let it be short and simple, something 
like this ; ' William Johnson, aged 75 years. The 
good die young. 1 " 



"It's all the dumbdest kind o' foolishest non- 
sense," said "Whiskers," otherwise known in the 
composing-room as Slug 16, " an' I'm sick on't." 

"What is?" inquired the "make-up," sweeping 
a heap of foot-slugs and quoins from the surface of 
the imposing-stone into the drawer beneath. 

" That's what it is," continued " Whiskers," am- 
biguously, knocking the ashes from his clay pipe on 
his boot heel. 

" Well, what is ? " persisted the "make-up," slic- 
ing a four-column "ad " into the form. 

" Why, all this slushing chat about success in life 
bein' the result o' pure devotion to one's profession. 
It's guff. Big lumtum roosters what has made their 
lucky, an' hain't got any furder to go to gratify am- 
bition ; men who thinks they're mighty bif — who've 
got there — they don't stick to business no closer'n 
poor people. They're just as likely to sluff off an' 
enjoy themselves in a pecooliar an' eccentric style 
as any o' us ducks. It's been so ever senst Horace 
Greeley's day, an' 1 knowed him, an' held cases on 
the Tribune when Horace was the palmiest. Horace 
was a great edittur ; min' you, I don't say nuthin' 
ag'in' his editin' even ef his stuff was hard to read — 
always allowed me ten cents extra to set it — but it 
wasn't the ambition of his life to be a great edittur, 
was it now ? " 

"Well, we'll play it was ; go on," said Slug 10. 

" Play nuthin'. I say it wasn't. But Horace got 
there, didn't he? He took the cake, didn't he? 
Didn't he now, hones' ? " 

"Go in, ' Whiskers ' ; you've got thirty minutes 
before it's time to take copy," said the foreman. 

" Yes, Horace made the rifHe in great shape. He 
got to be the biggest edittur in the Ian', an' then 
what does he do ? What did he turn his attention 
to ? Why, cabbages ! Horace wasn't satisfied with 
bein' somethin' he could be boss in, but he must 
fiddle aroun' 'bout somethin' he didn't know any- 
thing 'bout, an' couldn' handle, an' the consekence 
was, whereas he could make big money runnin' a 
newspaper, his cabbages cost him $1.87 cents a head. 
Bah! 

" Then thar's Dana — Charles A. Dana. He knows 
how to conduct a newspaper ; but he ain't satisfied 
in that way, not by a dum sight. His hobby is hens. 
He thinks his fort is runnin' a hen house, an' the 
consekence is he's got chickens scattered all over 
Staten Island and the Jersey shore. That's his 
forte, he thinks — hens is. Bah ! I believe a shoe- 
maker should stick to his last. 

"Then thar's Hayes — Rutherford B., ex-Presi- 
dent ; touched the top rung of the ladder afore he 
quit ; he's got the hen-fever too. He ain't satisfied 
with political glory, but he must try and cross those 
poultry breeds as God never intended should be 
crossed. Waugh ! Don't talk to me ! 

"An' thar's Bonner; another old print. I've 
worked in the alley alongside o' him. He's a good 
chunk of a journalist, but he don't know it. Thinks 
he's a hoss jockey. He's struck on fast stock. He 
isn't satisfied to run in the rut natur' intended him 
to run in. 

" Look at ex-President Arthur. Why, that man 
would leave the Wliite House door wide open an' 
go off fisMn'. I uster do that when I was a kid, but 
I never did so after I adopted the printin' perfession. 
I'm true to my callin', but chew me ef I'd leave the 
Wliite House fodder to rassel my grub in a muskeeter 
swamp like a country picnicker. It's altogether too 
lowerin' to the individual, and it debases one's appe- 
tite. Any chump can go fishin'. Humph. 

"Then thar's Jay Gould. He's so rich he can 
just hear the interest comin' in nights, just a rainin' 
in, like dead matter into the cases when you're dis- 
tributin'. But he don't know what he's cut out for, 
but goes monkeyin' aroun' flowers, an' hot houses, 
an' nosein' about geraniums, an' vari'gated oleanders, 
an' calla lillies an' sich. Never satisfied with his 
perfession as a financier. It's the way o' the world, 
though. Slug 10, give us a chaw of thet terbaccer 
I see stickin' out o' your boot leg." — Drake's Trav- 
eler's Magazine. 



Mother (shouting upstairs): Jennie, are you 
dressing for the party ? 

Daughter (shouting doum-stairs) : Nome, I 
haven't begun to dress yet. 

Mother : Begin right away then or you'll be 
late ; hump yourself. 

Daughter : Hump myself ? Bridget, bring me 
up my bustle. — Boston Cornier. 

Bob Ingersoll built Ms house square because he 
doesn't believe in an L, 



THE WASP. 



FRENCH HUMOR. 



Madame Hermione tie St. Amaranthe (real name 
Oelina Cramoiflon) is a member of the Old Guard, 
one of those ephemeral butterflies whose day is past 
and whose charms are dead. This does not prevent 
her from being pretentious to excess and from show- 
ing both in season and out of season a coquettishness 
and affectation absolutely ridiculous. She said yes- 
terday : 

"I really don't know why the wasps have been j 
after me so much this summer. When I'm in the 
country I can't get rid of them. They take me 
doubtless for a flower." 

"No, inadanie, not that exactly," objected L., 
with exquisite politeness ; " but you are perhaps not ' 
aware that these insects adore the very ripe fruits." 



little sick child. After having kissed the little child 
he commences to chatter, relates the news of the 
day, then remembering a pressing appointment he 
hastily writes bis prescription : 

" No worry, no anxiety, no Coffee, no alcohol ; 
gymnastics, distractions; smoke with moderation." 



IS EVERYBODY DRUNK? 



A pearl from the advertising columns of a French 
journal. 

" A banker, wishing to extend liis business, desires 
to procure a sum of 50,000 francs either through 
partnership or marriage. Would prefer a partner." 

Well, if this isn't frankness. 



At the springs. 

"Say, Mister, why does the water smell so bad 
here? " 

Mister ; " My little friend, it's because it's sul- 
phurous. " 

Little Friend : " Ah ! then, you are sulphurous 
when you speak, I suppose." 



One lady bidding good-by to another at a railway 
station. 

*'Yes, my love, I'm off for Forges. It appears 
that those springs are excellent for persons who 
haven't got any family, and as I have neither father 
or mother " 



At the springs. 

Doctor: "Yes, sir; our waters will be most 
efficacious for the grave affection of which you have 
just described the symptoms to me." 

"And it is /" 

" Hem ! twenty francs." 



Restaurant-keeper to newly-married husband at 
the conclusion of the repast. 

"I trust that you and your lady are content and 
satis tied." 

O, so-so. Not enough wine in your water, by the 
way." 



A distinguished Parisian astronomer was dressing. 
He couldn't find his favorite old overcoat. He 
looked for it everywhere. In vain. What was lie 
to do ? He felt so comfortable in it. He asked his 
wife. 

"My dear," said she mildly to him, " I sent the 
servant with it to the cleaner's to have it cleaned ; 
it's all full of spots." 

" 'Sdeath, ma'am ! " cried the savant, furiously. 
"The sun's also all full of spots and yet it's never 
sent to the cleaner's." 



At the restaurant, 

Waiter ; Fish and cold fowl for three, boss ! 

Boss : What sort of customers 1 

Waiter : O, snide, very snide. The gentleman 
whispered in the ear of one of the ladies, "We'll 
just have a light lunch, without much expense." 

Boss : Without much expense ! Phew ! just 
give them the sole and half-chicken left over from 
yesterday. 



Newly married couple in chorus. 

"O what a lovely view ! And then these waves 
which come right up to our feet ! (To the guide). 
But why don't you come up to the top 1 " 

" Eh ! eh ! Not such a fool ! Why, that ! that's 
the "Rock of the Drowned.' No later than this 
morning a handsome gentleman and a lovely lady, 
who were standing there just like you, were washed 
away by a great wave and never reappeared." 

Newly married couple descend quicker than they 
got up. 

A street dialogue. 

"I tell you that that young fellow has conducted 
himself in a most deplorable manner." 

" How ! you inveigh against him merely because 
he has eaten up 200,000 francs ? " 

" No, not because he has eaten it up, but because 
he has invited no one to share it ! " 



Doctor Purgative has been called in to attend a 



' You 



Two friends meet on the boulevard. 

" Are you ill ( " asks the first, anxiously 
don't look very well." 

"Yes, indeed, I am ill, and the mischief is that 
I've already seen the doctors and they cannot agree 
as to the nature of my malady." 

- Really?" 

"Yes, the first says it is a quinsy of the chest, 
the second a hypertrophy of the heart " 

" And the third, what does he say l " 

" Eh ! the third says what the third doctor always 
says, that the two others are a couple of asses ! " 
— Translated for the Wasp by R. O'G. L. 



FRONT. 



There is one type of Arkansawyer who forms 
sudden and strong attachments and who sometimes, 
after meeting a man once, afterward refers to him 
as his friend. Nelson Boyle of Polk county is a 
man of this type. Several days ago he came to Little 
Rock, having been summoned as a witness before 
the United States court. He had never attempted 
to live high, and as he expressed it determined to 
go to a hotel and live like a pet fox. He soon took 
a fancy to the clerk. Why he took this fancy would 
be hard to say. On one or two occasions during the 
three-days' visit of Mr. Boyle, the clerk leaned over 
from his lofty pedestal of dignity and spoke to him. 
This assured Mr. Boyle that his friendship for the 
clerk was returned. When his business with the 
court was settled Mr. Boyle went down to bid the 
clerk good-by. He thought of something appro- 
priate to say and employed his entire stock of warm 
words in framing a form of invitation which he knew 
would induce the clerk to visit him in the close future. 

"Wall, colonel," said Mr. Boyle as he laid one 
hand on the register, "I must leave you. I am 
sorry " 

" Front ! " shouted the clerk. 

" I am sorry to break a " 

"Front!" 

" I have enjoyed myself very much in your society 
and now I want you to promise me " 

"Front!" 

"Promise me that next summer " 

"Front !" 

"Summer you will come out an' spend " 

"Front ! " yelled the clerk, as he glowered on the 
simple-minded countryman. 

Mr. Boyle waited a moment and continued : 

' ' You won't find much style at my house, 
but " 

"Front !" 

"Look here, 1 want to know what you mean 1 " 

"Front!" 

The countryman hopped over the counter, seized 
the clerk by the collar with one hand, boxed his 
ears with the other and yelled "Front ! " Then he 
jammed him into a corner and exclaimed " Front ! " 
He pulled him out of the corner, shook him and 
vociferated "Front!" Still he was not satisfied. 
He seized the clerk's plug hat, shoved his foot 
through the crown and in a confidential and cordial 
manner remarked " Front ! " 

"Now old Front," said he as he gave the clerk's 
nose a parting twist, " I am about done. Whenever 
you feel like you want to go into the ' Front ' busi- 
ness again send for me." — Arkansaw Traveler. 



A Kentucky insurance association is organized for 
the purpose of insuring husbands against the loss of 
wives by elopement. It is the business of the local 
agent to inquire into the state of domestic happiness 
of the couple where an insurance is to be placed. If 
a strange man hangs about the premises and calls 
when the husband is out it is considered a serious 
risk. If the wife attends the rink and skates often 
with the "professor" the company will not take the 
chances under any consideration. 



CATAKKH, CATARRHAL DEAFNESS 
HAY FEVER. 
A new treatment has been discovered whereby a per- 
manent cure of these hitherto incurable diseases is abso- 
lutely effected in from one to three applications, no 
matter whether standing one year or forty years. This 
remedy is only applied once in twelve days and does not 
interfere with business. Descriptive pamphlet sent free 
on receipt of stamp, by A. H. Dixon & Son, 305 King- 
street west, Toronto, Canada. 



Among the many stories Lincoln used to relate 
was the following: Trudging along a lonely road 
one morning on my way to the county seat, Judge 

overtook me with his wagon and invited me 

to a seat. 

We had not gone far before the wagon began to 
wabble. Said I, "Judge, I think your coachman 
has taken a drop too much." 

Putting his head out of the window, the Judge 
shouted, "Why, you infernal scoundrel, you are 
drunk ! " 

Turning around witli great gravity, the coachman 
said, "Bedad! hut that's the tirs' rightful s'cision 
your Honor's giv'n 'n twel' mont ! " 

If people knew the facts they would be surprised 
to learn how many people reel in the streets who 
never "drink a drop." They are the victims of 
sleeplessness, of drowsy days, of apoplectic tenden- 
cies, whose blood is set on tire by uric acid. Some 
day they will reel no more — they will drop dead, 
just because they haven't the moral courage to defy 
useless professional attendance, and by use of the 
wonderful Warner's Safe Cure neutralize the uric 
acid in the system, and thus get rid of the " drunk- 
enness in the blood." — American Rural Home. 



KEANE BROS. 



An enthusiastic public indorse the success of 

OUR GREAT SALE 

The most marvelous bargains ever presented 

to the public are offered daily in all 

lines of J>ry 4*oods. 

OIXDB DOLLAR 

Judiciously expended will bring forth results 

which will astonish the 

purchaser. 



Country Orders promptly attended to. 

In remitting money our customers are re- 
spectfully requested to use the new Express 
Money Orders of Messrs. Wells, Fargo A Co. 



KEAN 




107, 109, 111, 113 & 115 



EXIRAGTWF 



■ j- -r\ • ■ i • ■ ■ 

UNI VERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED 

SUPERI0RT0 ALL OTHERS BY PHY8I- 

CIAN^CHENHSTS AND SOIENTIF 

io men generally;-! j', 

ONE TRIAL 'INSURES '.AN , 
ENDORSEMENT;* '?,;"" V ( 
JOHN t. ClltTING&CO 

SOLE AGENTS' ./. -i .'.'' 




THE WAY IT 



VASP. 




SCHMIDT LABEL X UTHD.CO., SAN FRANCISCO 



lS been done 



10 



THE WASP 



TUTTS 
PILLS 

25 Y EARS IN USE. 

The Greatest Medical Triump h of the Age! 
SYMPTOMS OF A 

TORPID LIVER. 

Loss of appetite, Bowels costive, Pain in 
the bead, with a dull sensation in the 
back part, Pain unties the shoulder- 
blade* Fullness after eating, with a dis- 
inclination to exertion of body or mind, 
Irritability of temper, J^ow spirits, with 
a feeling of having neglected some duty, 
Weariness, Dizziness, Flattering at the 
Heart, Dots before the eyes, Headache 
over the right eys, Xtestlessmess, with 
fitful dreams, Highly colored Urine, and 

CONSTIPATION. 

TCTT'S PII/LS are especially adapted 
to such cases, one dose effects such a 
change of feeling as to astonish the sufferer. 

They Increase the Appetlte,and cause too 
body to Take on Flesh., tb.ua tlio system ia 
nourished* and by their Tonic Action on 
the IfigestiveOreans^eeiilar Stools are 
produced. Price 85 c. 44Mnrgmy St..IV.Y. 

TUTTS EXTRACT SARSAPARILLA 

Renovates the borly, makes healthy flesh, 

strengthens the weak, repairs the wastes of the 

system with pure blood and hardmus le; tones 

the nervous system, invigorates the brain, and 

imparts the vigor of manhood. Si. Sold by 

drugfrista. 

OFFICE: 44 Murray St., 3few York. 

PURE OLD TENNESSEE 



"THE SUGAR CAMP." 




WHITE RYE WHISKY. 



A. FENKHAUSEN & GO. 



414 FRONT ST. 



San Francisco, Cal. 



Talking of a treat, delicious to eat, don't plunder the 

mealy bees, 
Slip out and go, thro* a skift of snow, to an orchard of 

sugar trees. 
Kange down the hill when all is still, and the soft blue 

smoke is curled, 
In the frosty haze, and the ice gems' blaze, as sun-down 
takes the world. 
■ No honey of flowers on this earth of ours, no sap of 

southern cane, 
. Melts on the lip like sweets that drip from a wounded 

maple grain. 
! And if you pick up a gourd or cup, and go to a gnarled old 

bole, 
! You'll drink of a juice that will unloose the sorrows of your 
soul. 

! The giants here are not blooms of a year, no harvest man 

has grown, 
They suckle the breast of mother earth ungardenered and 

alone. 
God is the tiller of all these growths, they work His will 

out thus, 
Lifting their arms in sacrifice, they pour out their blood 

for us. 

! to take once more from tree to tree the sled and team 
I drove, 

Meandering slow through the crispy snow to every one in 

the grove ! 
Don't talk to me of the barley bree, that steeps in the 

still-house damp, 
There never was wine trodden out of the vine like sap of a 

sugar camp. 

What are blooming citrons and matted palms, or thickets 

of tamarinds dim, 
To one who goes where mail-clad rows of maples make way 

for him ? 
The castanets of the crystal grass tinkle low at every tread, 
With the stainless white beneath him, and the fleckless 

blue o'erhead. 
He boldly drains the generous veins of a stalwart woodland 

king, 
As he hears up wind-swept avenues his henchmen's bridles 

ring ; 
Or lifts from the odorous cauldron deep, where the amber 

sweetness swirls, 
A cup of nectar like Ganymede's to the lips of the country 

girls. 

Or he drives his sleigh down the moonlit way, along a 

quiet lane, 
To hitch where light of a farmhouse bright streams from 

the window pane. 
When cuddled snug in the ample rug thro' snowy drifts 

they whir, 
While his sweetheart eats the spicy sweets he made that 

day for her. 
Past wreath-hid stiles the gleaming miles under the runners 

unroll, 
And his lips taste plain the maples again, as he takes his 

lover's toll. 
For the sleigh is narrow, and one swift arrow from Cupid, 

the rosy scamp, 
Strikes man and maid from his ambuscade as they pass the 

sugar camp. 

He smiles next day, and works away, stirring the bubbling , 

trough, 
For she makes him wait to know his fate till the night of 

sugar iug-off. 
Cupid makes his bow of the boughs that grow in the sugar 

thicket's shade, 
And dips each shaft clear down to the haft in the syrup 

when it's made. 

1 could forget all my sorrow yet, all I've suffered, sinned 

and toiled, 
If my heart were braced with the homely taste of a dipper 

of sap half -boiled. 
When I get to Heaven 111 kiss 'em all round, and start on 

a happy tramp 
Up toward the headwaters of Paradise to work in the sugar 

camp. — Indianapolis Herald. 




Capital, Paid in Full, 

8200,000 00 

Assets Dec. 31, 1884, 

$443,381 05. 

LOSSES PAIJ> 

Since Company Organized, 

1,133,534 80 

PRINCIPAL OFFICE, 

4S!> California St., 

(.Safe Deposit Building) S. F. 

JOHN H. WISE, - • President 
CHAS. A. LATOX, • - Secretary 



CRUSHED INE 

FOR BREAKFAST. 

JOHN T. CUTTING & Co., Sole Agents. 



I X L 

NEW HTOITE. 

rSTETV GOODS. 



For Garments or a complete Suit of Clothes, 
something in the line of Underwear, Over- 
wear, White or Colored Shirts, Collars, Caffs, 
Keck; wear. Footwear or Headgear, Camping 
Outfits of any kind, or, in fact, anything in 
the line of Ontfits for Men, Youths, Boys or 
Children, no matter what, we can furnish it, 
and give you a stock REPRESENTI\G A 
QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS TO 
SELECT FROM. 



GREAT 



Paupers are still sold at auction in Nova Scotia to 
the lowest bidder. A very good article of distin- 
guished family in reduced circumstances can be had 
there for a few dollars. — New Orleans Picayune. 

" It is a beautiful song," he said as the flute-like 
tones of her voice and the tuui-tum of the piano ac- 
companiment died away in the frescoes of the ceiling, 
"but I am not partial to secular music. I love the 
grand old hymns best." 

"Indeed?" she said as she ran her fairy fingers 
lightly up and down the seven octaves. 

"Yes," he exclaimed enthusiastically, "the grand 
old hymns for me. " 

" Well," she murmured as a rosy blush stole over 
her damask cheeks and the long silken lashes shaded 
the bright and beautiful eyes, and a sigh soft as the 
perfumed zephyr that rustles the leaves in the um- 
brageous grove at eve when the diamond dewdrop 
trembles on the petals of the modest rose slightly 
stirred her bosom, " well, I do not know that I can 
blame you, for I am rather fond of a certain him 
myself." 

Then a season of osculation ensued over which we 
regretfully drop the curtain. — Boston Courier. 



I X L 

924 TO 932 MARKET ST. 



*r ■■:'■■ The Largest Establishment in its Line 
in the United States. 

PRICE LIST Sent Free on Application. 

GOLDBERG, BOWEN & GO. 

THE LEADING GROCERS, 
428 TO 432 PINE ST., S. F. 

HAVE TOE 

MK^I-IST STOCK, 

FRESHEST GOODS, 

OK EATEST VARIETY, 

LOW EST PRICES, ana 

PROMPTEST DEEIVERV 

Of any Grocery Establishment on the Pacific 
Coast. 

COUNTRY ORDERS RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION. 

Send for Catalogue of Prices. General Re- 
duction in Prices. 

Telephone Sfo. 1. 

NOW IS THE TIME 

TO SI'BSCItlBE FOR 

T 15 E ~\?VJ±. S I*. 

IT IS THE OXLT 

CARTOON PAPER PUBLISHED WEST OF THE ROCKY 
MOUNTAINS, 

And no Expense will be spared to ma';c it the most interesting' 
and popular publication of the day. 

Its Cartoons are always a prominent feature, 

Illustrating all that is Eventful and Topical in National and Local 
happenings. The Letterpress will be up to its usual high standard. 

TERMS OF subscriptions J % g°£jj|£ ; ; ; ; ; ;;;;;;; % % 

Payable mAdvai.ee. | 12 Months .... 6 m 

Remit bv Postal Order or Cheek. 



THE WASP. 



!1 




THRIFTY HUMOR. 



Enormous houses are still the rule at the California 
where the Black Crunk is running in a manner that is at 
once the envy ami despair of the less enterprising managers 
of rival houses. It is hard to properly appreciate the end- 
less succession of spectacular effects of this production at 
one visit, which is doubtless the reason our theater-goers 
again and again attend this variedly interesting representa- 
tion. The ballet itself is a sufficiently powerful attraction, 
and the dances all new and striking. Probably no specialty 
act has given our public so much genuine amusement as 
the Tissots' unique burlesque of stage automatons, the cat 
duet especially being uproariously received nightly. The 
Magnani Family, the astonishing acrobats, and the other 
novelties introduced afford an agreeable relief to the 
dazzling array of symmetrical figures and gorgeous scenic 
effects. To the latter has been added this week a cataract 
of real water and other realistic improvements. In fact 
the Black Crook has taken so strong a hold upon the ap- 
preciation of our amusement-seekers that it may be said 
to be a fixture at the California for some time to come. 
It will be followed by a grand spectacular production of 
Sicba. Meanwhile the Hayman management are making 
great preparations for the appearance at the Baldwin, 
February 1st, of Signor Salvini, designated by the almost 
universal consent of the fraternity of critics on both sides 
of the ocean as "the foremost tragedian of all time," 
which he certainly is. His performances will number fifteen 
and will include OthcUo, his masterpiece, Lear, The Gladi- 
ator, The Outlaw, Ingomar and Corio/anus. Sale of season 
seats will begin next Monday at Sherman, Clay & Go's, 
and for single seats on the Thursday following. At last 
Sau Francisco will be enable to enjoy the greatest of all 
living actors, or dead ones either, for that matter. 

Hot Water continues its successful run at the Bush, and 
as yet sprightly Alice Harrison has no reason to complain 
of the support of her old time constituents. Those who go 
to the theater chiefly to be amused and to forget in laughter 
the cares of life could hardly do better than take a dose of 
Hot Water. The comedy, or whatever it maybe called, is 
bright, full of motion and change, and though containing 
here and there, perhaps, too much horse play of the wildly 
hilarious sort is as good as anything in its line we have had 
for a long time. The dances are particularly good and the 
irrepressible Alice's "gags" are not all chestnuts by any 
means, while the ladies of the company are generally pretty 
and shapely enough to satisfy the most exacting of the 
"front seaters." Next week there is to be a change of 
bill. Two acts of Hot Water will be given, introducing 
several entirely novel features, among them Mr. 1 lickson 
will recite, for the first time, a just completed poem by the 
author of " The Pride of Battery B," " The Dandy Fifth, " 
" The Wharf Eat,' 1 etc., entitled " Advance ! " The com- 
edy will be followed by an exceedingly clever and success- 
ful dramatization of Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett's 
charming story entitled Editha's Burglar which, made so 
great an impression when it originally appeared in the 
St. Nicholas. This dramatic novelty contains only three 
characters, one of which, "The Burglar," will introduce a 
character song written by "Derrick Uodd " of the Wasp. 
The Alcazar entertainments hardly seem to prove solvent 
ventures for their various projectors just now, a result 
doubtless due to the pressure of superior attractions else- 
where. The Juvenile Mikado Company is playing to scant 
houses and next week an ominously pretentious troupe of 
Mexican dancers and musicians appear. Since the success 
some time ago of the really meritorious Spanish Student 
troupe we have been inflicted with a deluge of catch-penny 
combinations from Dutch street-bands to ' ' greasers, " whose 
stereotyped failures to "catch on" are alike the terror of 
managers and newspaper publishers. 



"How shall we utilize the Chinese?" sake a Calif ornia 
paper. We suppose it never occurred to the Californians 
tn petrify the Chinese and sell them for tea store signs. — 
Kalamazoo Vanity Fair. 

Among iu:inuf;u'tiireiM of pivsrrves there is always more 
or less .lellyuiisy, but in the Tolenxs Spring Soda, ;t natural 
mineral water, there is relief for imlige>tion ami acidity of 
the stomach. J. C. Remington, 21" Commercial street, 
General Agent for the Pacific Coast. 

" "I'is sweet to hear the honest watch-dog's bark 

I'.ay deep-mouthed welcome, as you draw near home,'' 
But not so sweet when you return at dark, 

To have him grab you by your trousers dome. 

CfoodalVs Sun, 

Student (to servant at the door): Miss Brown ? 

SERVANT: She's engaged. 

Student : I know it. I'm what she's engaged to. And 
I've just called at the New Home Si-wing Machine Com- 
pany's distributing office, 034 Market street, to order one 
of their household treasures by way of making a good start 
in life. 

"The tendency to do wrong increases toward night," 
says a well-known clergyman. This is very likely to be 
true, for when Adam ate the forbidden fruit it was near 
Eve, but oysters, fish, game and ice cream are served at 
Manning's, 42S Pine street, morning, noon and night. 

There was a little dude, 

And he lived on angel food, 
And there wasn't much dimension to Ids forehead. 

To kiss his girl he didn't fear ; 
But when her pa drew near, 
The weather grew uncomfortably ton-id. 

— Washington Hatchet. 
"Isn't my photograph excellent," said a young wife to 
her husband. "Well, my dear," replied he, "I think 
there is a little too much repose about the mouth. " The 
indignant lady at once fined her impudent spouse a bottle 
of the celebrated California Champagne, the home produc- 
tion of A. Finke's widow, and when asked whether she 
would have "Carte Blanche" or "Imperial Cabinet," the 
lady decided to take a sample of both. 

The more hat a man can buy for two dollars the less 
bonnet a woman can buy for twenty, and yet some folks 
say this world was slung together in perfect harmony. — 
Chicago Ledger. 

"Those Chinese have some strange customs. For in- 
stance, the men buy their wives at auction," remarked 
Colonel Witherspoon to Gilhooly. "That is barbarous. 
When will they learn to buy them at private sale as we do 
in this country," responded Gilhooly cynically. People in 
this city have learned to get their jewelry, watches, clocks, 
fans, etc. repaired and made as good as new at S. J. 
Pembrooke's, watchmaker and jeweler, 212 O'Fajrell St., 
near Powell. 

The young man who conceived the idea of saluting the 
daughter of a rich old chap by introducing a branch of 
mistletoe into the house, said he might have succeeded had 
it not been for the aged parent's mizzle toe.— Boston Com- 
mercial Bulletin. 

Your daughter may be beautiful and lovely, but the first 
thing you know the devil may pack off a drunken son-in- 
law on you. This may be cured by inducing him to drink 
Philadelphia beer, of which nearly 70, 000 barrels were sold 
during 18S5, being twice as much as the next two leading 
breweries in the city. 

Guest : Waiter, bring me some rice pudding. 
Waiter : Boss, I can't jess recormend de rice pudding 
to-day. 

Guest : What's the matter with it? 

Waiter : Nuffin, 'cept dar ain't none.— 'Texas Si/tings. 

A drummer who has been in south Florida says that the 
beef in that section is so tough as to render it almost im- 
possible to even stick a fork in the gravy. And a lady 
who knows what housekeeping is declares that A. H. 
Baldwin of the San Francisco Carpet Beating Machine, 
1321 and 1323 Market street, made her carpets as good as 
new, cleaning and relaying them all in one day. 

An Austin man came to a doctor and asked him to ex- 
amine Ids arm. "When did you sprain it ? " "I sprained 
it yesterday. " "Does it occasion you any serious incon- 
venience ? " " Well, I should say it did. I tried to take a 
drink of whisky out of a two-gallon demijohn yesterday 
and I couldn't lift it up to my mouth." — Texas Siftings. 

A sea-lion escaped from a Baltimore aquarium recently 
and paddled off down the bay, swam ashore and entered a 
cabin, "Bridgit," said he, as he stripped off his fur coat, 
"an' is ther a wee dhrap av pizen in the jug oonder ther 
bed, I dun know?" Bridget gave him a nip, and then 
sent him to Uncle Jacobs, 613 Pacific street, who loans 
money to everybody at a low rate of interest. 

An Eastern exchange says that "the democrats are 
working for harmony. " This may be true down East, but 
in many parts of the West they are skirmishing for hominy. 
Ncmnan Independent. 

J. W. Evans, 20 Post street, is the sole agent for the 
light running Domestic Sewing Machine. (See their big 
advertisement on cover of the Wasp.) 

Mi\ Otto Normaun, 411 Bush street, is the sole agent for 
Lemp's St. Louis beer for the Pacific Coast. 

For Oysters, wholesale and retail, go to Moraghan's, 
California Market. 

C. O. Dean, D.D.S., 126 Kearny street (Thurlow block), 
superior dentistry. 



A GENTLE STIMIO.VS 
Is imparted {•< the kidneys and bladder by Hostettor's 
Stomach Bitters, which is most useful in overcoming tor- 
pidity of these organs. Besules infusing more activity into 
them, this excellent tonic endows them with additional 
vigor, and enables them the better to undergo the wear 
and tear of the discharging function imposed upon them 
by nature. Moreover, ;is they are the channel for the 
escape of certain impurities from the blooil, increases their 
usefulness by strengthening and healthfully stimulating 
them. In certain morbid conditions of these important 
organs, they fall into a sluggish state, which is the usual 
precursor of disease. What then can be of greater service 
than a medicine which impels them to greater iictivity 
when slothful? No maladies are more perilous than those 
which affect the kidneys, ami a medicine which averts the 
peril should be highly esteemed. 

WESTERN PIKE AND MAKINE INSURANCE CO. 

There is no foundation, except that of malice, to the re- 
port that the Western Fire and Marine Insurance Company 
were about to give up business. On the contrary this 
company was nevermore actively engaged than at present. 
Its president, Mr. P. J. White, has been long and favor- 
ably known in this community, and indeed all of its officers 
are gentlemen of sound business ability and integrity. The 
last annual election resulted in the following Board of 
Directors : D.j Callaghan, .T. Macdonough, P. .T. White, 
James Phelan, Richard Ivers, M. Kane, George H. 
Wheaton, John Fay, A. Vensauo, W. C. Bonsfield and 
N. Oldandt. 



CUBE YOUR COLD. 
All persons suffering from Cough, Cold, Asthma, Bron 
chitis, Loss of Voice or any affection of the Throat and 
Lungs should try 38 Cough Mixture and be cured. For 
sale by all druggists. B. .). Rhodes & Co., manufacturers, 
San Jose, Gal, 



" What did the Queen of Sheba say '? " asked the 
superintendent. 

" The half was not told me," shouted the scholars. 

" Of whom was she speaking? " asked the super- 
intendent. 

"Her husband," meekly replied a woman in a 
Paisley shawl, whose husband belonged to five secret 
societies. — Bwdette. 



PATRONIZE WHITE LABOR 
BUY YOUR SHOES 

FROM 

NOLAN & SONS. 



We employ ISO men ami 55 yjirls making 
shoes. We have never employed a Chinaman 
in our Factory. 

Our Factory is open for inspection. 

We pay #10,000 a month for While Labor. 

N0LAN& SONS 

812 & 814 MARKET ST. 

(Phelan Building.) 

FACTORY : 

Nos. 67, OS), 71 aud 73 Stevenson St. 

SASI FBASJCISl'O. 



OFFICE OF 

THE HIBERNIA SAVINGS AND LOAN SOCIETY, 

3d. E. cor. Montgomery and Post Sts. 

San Francisco, January 4, 18S6. 

At a regular meeting of the Board of Directors of this Society, 
held this day, a Dividend at the rate of 3J per cent, per annum 
has been declared on all deposits for the six months ending with 
December 31, 18S5, free from all taxes, anil payable from and after 
this date. ROBERT J. TOBIN, Secretary. 




BEDROCK PRICES. 



12 



THE WASP. 



SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

Trains leave, and arc due to arrive at 
Oakland Ferry, hot of Market »t , 

SAN Fa ISH'CO. 



LEAVR 

(fori 


From Oct. 13, 1S85 


ARRIVE 

(from) 


•8.00 i. 


..Byron 


to.io p. 


S.00A- 


..Calistoga and Napa 


•10.10 a. 


-4.00 P. 




6.10 P. 


V.30A. 




6.40 P. 


7.30 a. 


. .Delta.Reddin.' and Portland 


6.40 P. 


•3.30 p. 


. .Gait, via Martinez 


•10.40 a. 


8.00 A. 


. .lone, via Livermore 


6.40 P. 


4.00 p. 


..Knight's Landing: 


10.10 A. 


•6.00 p. 


. .Livermore and Pleasanton. 


*8.40 A. 






6.10 P. 






•7.10 P. 


3.30 p. 


} Mojave, Deming ( Express 
f ElPasoand Kast ( Emigrant 


10.40 A. 


3.30 p. 


10.10 A. 


10.00 A. 


. .Niles and Hayward's 


3.40 p. 


3.00 p. 


\ Ogden and East j Express 
) " " " \ Emigrant 


11.10 A. 


3.00 p. 


11.10 a. 


7.30 A. 


. .Red Bluff, via Marysville. . . 


6.40 P. 


8.00 A. 


. .Sacramento, via Livermore 


6.40 p. 


7.30 a. 


" via Benicia. . . 


6.40 P. 


3 OOP 


" via Venieia. . . 


11.10 a. 


4.00 p. 


" via Benicia. . . 


10.10 a. 


•4.00 P. 


. .Sacramento River steamers 


•6.00 A. 


8.00 A. 


. .San Jose 


"3.40 P. 


(10.00 A. 
3.00 P. 




$3.40 P. 
0.40A. 


" 


8.00A 


..Stockton, via L'vermore. . . 


6.40 P. 


*9 30 A. 


" viv Mirtinez. . . . 


'7.10 P. 


•3.30 P. 


" via Martinez 


-10.40 a. 


•9.30 a. 


. .Tulare and Fresno 


"7.10 P. 



A for morning. 



V for afternoon. 



From San Francisco, daily. 

To EAST OAKLAND— '6.00, •S.SO, 7.00, 7.30, 
8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30, 
12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 6.00. 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 
10.00, 11.00, "12.00. 

To FKUIT VALE- "6.00, "6.30, »7.O0, *7.30, "8.00, 
•8.30, *3.30, "4.00, •4.30, "6.00, "5.30, "6.00, 
•6.30, 9.00. 

To FKUIT VALE (via Alameda)— "9.30, 6.30, 
Jll. 00, *12.00 

To ALAMEDA -"6.00 '6.30, 7.00 "7.30, 8.00, 
"8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, }10.30, 11.00, {11.30, 
12.00, J12.30, 1.00, J1.30. 2.00, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 
4.30, 6,00, 6.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 
11.00, "12.00. 

To BERKELEY -*6.00, '6.30, 7.00, "7.30, 8.00, 
•8.30, 9.00, (9.30, 10.00, J10.30, 11.00, til. 30, 
12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 4.30 5.00,6.30,6.00, 
6.30, 7.00, 8.00. 9.00, 10.00, 11.00 "12.00. 

To WEST BERK KLEY— "6.00, "6.30, 7.00, "7.30, 
18.00, "8.30, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00, J1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 
4.00, *4.30, 5.00, "5.30, 6.00, •6.30, 7.00. 
To Han Francisco, daily. 

From FRUIT VALE-«6.23, *6.53, »7.23, "7.53, 
•8.23, "8.63, "9.23, *10.21, -4.23, '4.53, "5.23, 
•5.63, *6.23, "6.63, 7.25, 9.E0. 

From FRUIT VALE (via Alameda)-"5.16, '5.4i, 
16.45, {9.15, "3.16. 

From E ST OAKLAND— *6.30, "6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 
7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 
11.30, 12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 
3.30, 4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.57, 
8.57, 9.67, 10.57. 

From BROADWAY, Oakland— 7 minutes later 
than from East Oakland. 

From ALAMEDA— •5.22, *5.52, *6.22, 6.52, *7.22, 
7.62, •8.22, 8.52, 9.22, 9.52, (10.22, 10.62, $11.22, 
11.52, J12.22, 12.62, J1.22, 1.52, 2.52, 3.22, 3.52, 
4.22, 4.52, 5.22, 5.52, 6.22, 6.52, 7.52, 8.52, 9.52, 
10.52. 

From BERKELEY— *5.15, *5.45, »6.15, 6.4i, 
•7.16, 7.45, "S.15, 8.45, $9.15,9.45, $10.15, 10.45, 
$11.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.45, 2.45, 3.45, 4.15, 4.45, 
5.15, 5.45, 6.15, 6.45, 7.45, 8.45, 9.45, 10.45. 

From WEST BERKELEY— "5.45, «6.15, 6.45, 
•7.16, 7.45, 8.45, $9.15, 9.45, 10.45, $12.45,1.45, 
2.45, 3.45, 4.45, •5.15, 6.45, *6.15, 6.45, *7.16. 

t'reek Ruiite. 

From SAN FRANCISCO— *7.15, 9.15, 11.15, 1.15, 

3.15, 5.15. 
From OAKLAND -*6.15, 8.15, 10.15, 12.15, 2.15, 

4.15. 



* Sundays excepted $ Sundays only. 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co. , S. F. 



A. N. TOWNE, 
Gen. Manager. 



T. H. GOODMAN, 

Gen. Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



ACENTS WANTED. 

Patent Amateur Vise. The 
neatest and handiest little tool 
) out. Needed by everyone. No 
talking; is necessary. The Vise 
sells itself, and they go like 
" hot cakes." Sample and Agents' Prices post- 
paid on receipt of 50c L. H. MOISE, Sole 
Agent, 320 Sansome street, room 35, S. F. 





Send six cents for post- 
age, and receive free, a 
costly box of goods which 
► -will help all, of either sex, 
to more money right away than anything else in 
this world. Fortunes await the workers abso- 
lutely sure. Terms mailed free. TRUE & CO. , 
Augusta, Maine. 



DIO nCCTD To introduce them, we 
DIU Urrtll. will give away 1000 



JL,, ,,,*-, 

** one send us your name, P. O. and express office 
at once. The National Co., S3 Oey St. 
New York, 



Northern Division 

SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

TIME M-HMII'L*:. 

Passenger Trains acavcan Arrive 

Passenger Depot Townseod street, bet. Third 
and Fourth streets, San Francisco. 



It Uil IV penses paid. Outfit worth §5 and par- 
ticulars free. P. O. VICKERY, Augusta, Maine, 



Commencing Oct. 

1885. 



18, | ARR1VK 



t 6.40 a, 
8.30 A, 
10.40 A, 

* 3.30 p. j 
4.30 P. 

* 5.15 P. 
6.30 P. 



,Sau Mateo, Redwood and. 
Menlo Park 



8.30 A. j 
10.40 a. 
' 3.30 P j 

4.30 P. I 



.Santa Clara San Jose and. 
..Principal Way Stations. , 



10.40 a. 
* 3.30 p. 



10.40 a. 
( 3.30 p. 



10 40 a. 
> 3.30 P. 



. Gilroy.Pajaro, astroville 

. ..Salir.as and Monterey. . 



.Holllster and Tres Pinos 



... Watsonville, Aptos,... 
. Soquel ( I amp Capitola) , 
and Santa. Cruz 



10.40a. .Soledad andWayStatious. 



* 8.10 A. 
9.03 A. 

* 10.02 a. 

3.36 V. 

t 6.02 P. 

6.08 P. 



9.03 A. 

*10.02 A. 

3.36 P. 



a. — Morn ng. p.— Afternoo-. 

* Sundays excepte 
t Sundays only (Sportsmen's train). 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co., S. F. 



STAGE C 3NNECTIONS are made with the 
10.40 a. M. train, except Pescadero stages via 
Sari Mateo and Red wot d, which connect with 
3.30 a. h. train. 



EXCHRSIOX TICKETS. 

For Sundays only— Sold Sunday Morning and 
for 1.30 p. m. train; good for return same 
day. 

For Saturday, Sunday and Monday— Sold Sat- 
urday and Sunday only ; good for return 
until following Monday, inclusive. 



Ticket Offices— Passenger Depot, Townsend 
street, Valencia-street Station, and No. 073 
Market street, Grand Hotel. 
A. C. BASSETT, H R. JUDAH, 

Superintendent. Asst. Pass. & Tkt. Agt 



SOUTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



Passenger Trains leave Station, foot of Market 
street, South Side at 

8 Aft A. M., dairy, for Alvarado, Newark, 
• $U Centerville, AlWso, Santa Clara, SAN 
JOSE, Los Gatos, Wrights, Glcnwood, Felton, 
Big Trees, Boulder Creek, SANTA CRUZ and 
all Way Stations. 

2ftrt P. M. (except Sunday), Express: Mt. 
• OU Eden, Alvarado, Newark, Centerville, 
Alviso, Agnews, Santa Clara, SAN JOSE, Los 
Gatos, Boulder Creek and all stations to SANTA 
CRUZ. 



P. M. , daily, for SAN JOSE, Los Gatos 
and intermediate points. 

I A. M., every Sunday, Hunters' Train 
to San Jose, stopping at all Way 



4. 



Stations. 

filC EXCURSIONS TO SANTA CRUZ and 
■3>U BOULDER CREEK, and $3.50 to SAN 

JOSE, on Saturdays and Sundays, to return on 
Monday, inclusive. 

$1.75 to SANTA CLARA and SAN JOSE 
and return. Stmdaya only. 

All through trains c( nnect at Felton for Boul- 
der Creek and points on Felton and Pescadero 
Railroad. 



TO OAKLAND AND .UAIlEDt. 

§6.00, §6.30, §7.00, 7.30, S.00, 8.3P, 9.00, 9.30, 
10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30 A. M. 1U2.00, 12.30, 
HI 00, 1.30, 12.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 4 00, 4.30, 6.00 
S.30, 0.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30, 10.45, 11.45 
P.M. 

From Fonrtecnth and Webster streets, 
Oakland-§5.30, §6.00, §6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 
8.30. 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, H11.00, 11.30 A. M. 
1J12.00, 12.30, 11.00, 1.30, 2 00, 2.30, 3.O0, 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 
9.30, 10.45, 11.45 P. M. 

From High street, AFameda— §5.16, §5.46, 
§6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 7.46. 8.16, 8.46. 9.16. 9.46, 
10.16, 110.46, 11.16, 111.46 A. M. 12 16, 112.46, 
1.16, 1.46, 2.16, 2.46, 3.16, 3.46, 4.16, 4.46, 5.16, 
6.46, 6.16, 6.46, 7.10, 9.16, 10.31, 11.31 P. M. 

§ Sundays excepted. 
1 Sundays only. 

TICKET, Telegraph and Transfer offices 222 
Montgomery street, S. F. 

L. FILLMORE, W. T. FITZGERALD, 

Superintendent. G. F. & P. Aet 



S. F. & NORTH PACIFIC R. R. 

(Broad Gauge.) 

Commencing sundry, Jaunttry 3. 1S80, 

and until further notue, boats and train* will 
leavu from and arrive atSa'i trandsco Passen- 
ger Depijt, Market street whan, as follows : 



Leave i Destina- 

Sm t-Vamisco. | tion. 



Wekk j Sun- - Petamma , 
Days - I DAVS - I Santa Rosa, I _iH 
7.45 am I I Fulton, I 

Windsor. 



Arrive in 
San Francisco. 



| Sun- I Wbbk 
| Days. 

S.50AM 



3.30 p.m t 



Windsor, 
I Hialdsburg I 6 10 I'M \ 
S.no Ait j Cloverdale, i 

I & way stns. j | 6.05 pm 



7.45 AM S.00 AM | Gugrneville (j 10 i-m | 6.05 I'M 



Stages connect at Santa Rosa for *ebastopol 
and Mark West Springs; at Clairville for Skaggs' 
Springs, and at Cloverdale for Highland Springs, 
Kelseyville, Soda Bay, Lakeport, Saratoga 
Springs, Blue Lake*, Eartlett Springs, Ukiah, 
Eureka. Navarro Ridge, Mendocino uity a d the 
Geysers. 

EXCURSION TICKETS from Saturdays to 
Mondays— To Petaluma, $1.75 ; to Santa Kosa, 
$3 ; to Hea dsnurg, §4 ; to Cloverdile, §5. 

tiXCURSiON TICKETS, good for Sun ia\s 
only— To Petaluma., $1.50; to Santa Ros<>, S2; 
to Healdsburg, $3; tu Cloveruale, $4.50; to 
Guemeville, $3. 

From Sau Francisco for Point Tiburon and 
San Rafael— Week days : 7.45 A. si., 9.16 A w., 
3.30 p. m., 5 p. M., 6.10* p. m. Sunaays: 8 
A. M , 10.15 A. M-, 1 P. M., 5 P. M. 

To S-in Francisco from San Rafael — Week 
days: 6.30 a. m., 8 a. m., 10.30 A, M., 3.40 P. M., 
5.05 P. M. Sundays: S.10 a. m , Ll 30 A. M., 
3 p. M, 5 P. M. 

To San Francisco from Point Tiburon — Week 
days: 7A. m., 8.20 a. M., 10.65 a. M., 4.05 p. M., 
5.30 p. M. Sundays: 8.35 A. M., 1155 A.M., 
3.25 P. M,, 5.30 P. M. 

* There will be no 6.10 P. M. boai from San 
Francisco on Saturdays. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McGLYNN.Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Agt. 

Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SONOMA VALLEY RAILROAD. 

Steamer James *I. Donahue leaves San Fran- 
cisco and connects with trains at Sonoma Land 
ing as follows : 

4 Oft P. M., daily {Sundays excepted), from 
■ UU Washington-street wharf, fovthetown 
of Sonoma, Glen Ellen and way points. 
SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8rtft A. M. {Sundays onl>), from Washing- 
iJeV t n-street wharf for the town of So- 
noma, Glen Ellen and way points. Round-trip 
tickets to Sonoma, $1 ; Glen Ellen, $1.50. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETEK J. McGL\NN, Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Agt. 
Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SAUCELITO, SAN RAFAEL, SAN QUENTIN, 

NORTH PACIFIC^ COAST R. R. 

TIME TABLE 

Com nit -tiring minilay. Not. S. J>S5, 



and until further notice, 
will runs as follows: 



Boats and Trains 



For SAN RAFAEL and SAUCELITO (week 
days)-9.20, 11.20 a. M., 3.35, 5.05 p. m. 

(Sundays)— 8.00, 10.00, 11.30 a. m., 1.30, 3.15, 
5.15 P. M. 

Extra trip on Saturday at 1.30 P. M. 



From SAN RAFAEL (week da^a)— 7.45, 9.20, 
11.35A. M., 3.30 p. m. 

(Sund.iys)-S.05, 10.10 A. m., 12.00 M., 1.35, 
3.20, 5.15 P. M. 



From SAUCELITO (week days) -8.15, 9.55 
A. m., 12.20, 4.05 p. m. 

(Sundays)— S. 40, 10.45 A. m., 12.35, 2.15, 4.00 
6.00 P. M. 

Extra trips — From Saucelito on Saturday at 
2.30, 6.00 p. M. 



I1.3U A. M., Dailv, Sundays excepted, 
THROUGH TRAINS for Duncan Mills and way 
sta'ionB. ( Through train from Duncan Mills 
arrive in San Francisco at 12.50 p. m.) 



STA'lE CONNECTIONS. 
Stages leave Duncan Mills e\ery morning, ex- 
cept Mondays, for Stesvavt's Point, Gualala, Point 
Arena, Cuffey's Cove, Navarro, Mendocino, and 
all pjints on the North Coast. 



THIRTY-DAY EXCURSIONS 
Round-trip Tickets, good for thirty d-iys to 
and from all points north of San Ans.lmo, at 
t>venty-fivQ per cent, reduction from single 
t • rifit rite. 



SATURDAY TO MONDAY EXCURSIONS. 

Excursion tickets s )Id on Satur Jay, good to 
return following Monday : Fairfax, $1.00 ; Camp 
Taylor, $1.75; Point Reyes, $2.00 ; Tomales, 
$3.00; Duncan Mills, $4. 



SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8.0ft A. HI. (Sundays only) Excursion Train 
for Camp Taylor, Tomales and way <-tatione. 
Returning, arrive in San Francisco at 6.30 p. m. 

Fares for round trip— Camp Taylor, $1.50; 
Point Reyes, $1.75 ; Tomales, S2.50. 



J. W. COLEMAN, 
General Manager. 



F. B. LATHAil, 
Gen'l Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



GENERAL OFFICES, S27 PINE STREET. 



PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP 

COMPANY. 



-^ -^ Steamers of this Company will 

^■^^O^^sail from Broadway Wharf, San 
^a ^ r^jfp'T? 3 Francisco, for ports in California, 
■^^HT^^T.TJ&T Oregon, Washington and Idaho 
Territories, Uritieh Columbia and Alaska, as fol- 
lows : 

• ailtonilu Southern i oust Konle.- 
Steamers will sail about every second day A. m. 
for she following ports (excepting San Diego, 
every fifth day), viz: Santa Cruz, Monterey, 
San Simeon, Cayucos, Port Harford, San Luis 
obiepo Gaviota, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Hue 
neme, San Pedro, Los Angeles and San Diego. 

&ntiBh Columbia mid Alaska Koutr* 

Steamship IDAHO, carrying U. S. Mails, sails 
from Portland, Oregon, in or about the 1st of 
each month, for Port Townsend, W. T-, Victoria, 
and tfanaimo, B. C, Fort Wrangel, Sitka and 
Harri-jburg, ilns>_a, connecting at Port Town 
send with Victoria and Puget Sound. Steamer 
leaving San Francisco on or about the first 
the *ame month. 

*j<ctorlai »it<3 l*»grl &ouml Konle.— 

Tnf* -itoftiu-rp GEO.W. ELDER *nd QUEEN OF 
THE PACTF-C carrj ing Her Britanic Majesty'B 
and dltttl States mails, sail from Broadway 
Wharf. :\r Francisco, at 10 a. m., on January 
5th, 13th, 21st, 29th, Feb. 6th. 14th, 22d, March 
2d, 10th, and every eighth day thereafter for 
Victoria, B.C., Port Townsend, cattle, Tacoma, 
Steilacoom and Olympia, making close connec- 
tion with steamboats, etc., for skaglt River and 
Cassiar Mincs,Nanaimo, Now *'cBtminster,Yale, 
Sitka and all other lmpor ant points. Return- 
ing, leave Seattle and Port Cownsond on Jan. 
5th, 13th, 21st, 29th, Feb 7th, 14th, 22d, March 
2d, and jverv eitrhth dav thereafter, and Victoria 
on Jan. 6th, 14th f 22d, 30th, Feb. 8th, 15th, 23d, 
March 3d, and every eighth day thereafter. 

Portland, Oregon, Konte.— The Oregon 
Railway and Navigation Company and the Pa- 
cific Coast Steamship Company dispatch from 
Spear Street Wharf one of the steamships 
OREGON, CO TMFIA, STATE OF CALI- 
FORNIA and GEO. W. KLDER, carrying the 
tJnitcri States Mail. S illlng days— Jan. 3d, 
Sth, 13th, 18' h, 23d, 28th, Feb. 2d, and every 
following fifth lay for Portland *nd Astoria, 
Oregon. 

ftureka and Humboldt Bay Route.— 

Ste tmer ANCON sails from San ranclsco for 
Eureka, Areata, Hookton (Hum nit Bay) every 
Wednesday at 9 A. M. 

Colut Arena and Mendoelno Rout«.— 

Steamer YAQUINA sails from Broadway 
Wharf, San Francisco, at 3 p. m. overy Monday 
for Point Arenas, Cuffoy'B Cove, Little River 
and Mendocino. 

TICKET OFFICE, 214 Montgomery si. 

(Opposite the Russ House) 

G00DALL, PERKINS & CO,, General Agents 

Wo. 10 Market St. San FrancUco. 



CARD. 

THE WESTERN 

Fire and Marine 

INSURANCE CO. 

OF CALIFORNIA. 

TO THE INSURING PUBLIC. 

Notwithstanding the various 
reports to the contrary, the 
Western Fire and Marine Insur- 
ance Company has no intention 
of withdrawing from trasiness, 
but invites the generous patron- 
age of the public, as heretofore 
extended to them. 

P. J. WHITE. 

President. 

GEO. H. W1IEATOX, 

Vice-President. 

GEO. W. SESSION, 

Secretary. 

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE: 
«eo. H. Wheaton, John Fay, 

Jos, Maedonough, M. Kane, 

A. "Vensano. 



THE WASP. 



13 



■• BEVARE OF THE VIDDERS.' 1 

An Over-Confiding Old Beau is Shame- 
fully Sold. 

I bcooose me if I shed aome tears, 
L : ml wipe ni\ nose aw ;i\ ; 

I'ml if a lump 7oa in my fcroat, 
It comes up dere t.< autay, 

M> Badness I BhaU aaw unfoldt, 

l T ml if dot tale nf woe 
I lon'd <1>> wiinie Dutchmans any good 

I ten 1 don'd pelief 1 know. 

Vmi .sot? I fall myself in love, 

Uml effery night I goes 
Across t<> Brooklyn bj dot bridge, 

All dressed in Sunday clothes. 

A vidder womans vos tier brize, 

Her hiidband he vos ile;ul ; 
Uml nil alone in dis coldt vorldt 
D«t vidder vos, she Baidt. 

Her heart for love vos on der pine, 

Und dot I like to aee ; 
Und all der time I hoped tint heart 

Voa on der pine for me. 

I keeps a butcher shop, you know, 
Und iu a Bhtocking stout, 

I put avay my gold uml bills, 
Und no one gets him oudt. 

If in der night some bank cashier 
Goes skipping off mit cash, 

I sldeep so souudt as nefer vas, 
Virile rich folks go to shmash. 

I court dot vidder sixteen months, 
Dot vidder she courts me, 

Und vehn 1 says: "Vill you be mine ?' 
She says : •" You bet I'll be ! " 

Ve vos engaged — O ! blessed fact ! 

I squeeze dot dimpled hand ; 
Her head upon my shoulder lays, 

Shunt like a bag of sand. 

" Before der wedding day vos set," 

She whispers in my ear, 
' ' I like to say I haf to use 

Some cash, my Jacob, dear. 

" I owns dis house and two big farrms, 
Und ponds und railroad shtock ; 
Und up in Yonkens I bossess 
A grand, big peesness block. 

' ' Der times vos dull, my butcher boy, 
Der market vos no good, 
Und if I sell " — I squeezed her hant 
To show I understood. 

Next day — oxcoose my briny tears- 
Dot shtocking took a shrink ; 

I counted out 1,200 in 

Der cleanest kind o' chink. 

Und later, by two days or more, 
Dot vidder shlopes avay ; 

Und leaves a note behindt for me 
In which dot vidder say : 

" Deah Shake: 

" Der rose vos redt, 
Der violet blue — 
You see I've left, 
Und you're left, too ! " 



A DRUMMER'S WISH. 

I wish I had a line of goods 

That no one ever had, 
And every merchant wanted, 

And wanted awful bad. 

I'd send the trade a little card, 
And tell them "I'm in town," 

And if they wanted any stuff, 
They better come right down. 

I'd treat them as they treat me now ; 

O, I'd make some feel awful "dizzy ; ,: 
And when they came around to call, 

I'd say, "I'm very busy." 

1 I guess you'd better come again," 

I'd say, to some I know — 
' If you don't want these goods of mine, 

You take your ' traps ' and go. " 

' When am I going out ? 

"Well, what is that to you ? 
My house won't ship you any goods, 
Your pay is most too slow." 

Some merchants act the gentleman, 
And some are worse than Jews ; 

Some treat us with a kind regard, 
But most give us the "blues." 

I could wish, and wish, and wish in vain, 
Until I was blind and sore — 

For such a wish could never he, 
So I shall wish no more. 

— Peck's Sun, 



WHERE IT WAS NEEDED. 

A boy threw his hat on the floor, 
And was told he must J" bo no more : 
But he did it again, 
And hi* fond mother then 
Used her dipper until he was Bore. 

The boy then looked up askance, 
And his mother cast dow □ :i mud glance : 
Do you know now," said Bne, 
" Where your hat ought to be ! 
• Yes," he answered, "insidoofmy pants." 
i blwmfous Dispatch, 



" There's a land that Ls fairer than day," 
But though it be ever so fair, 
We're willing on earth still to stay, 
And in do great baste t.. go there. 

— Boston ( 'Kuril r. 



A subscriber asks for a cure for cold 
feet. Try banking them up with saw- 
dust ; if they still remain cold, set the 
sawdust on fire. — Peck's Shin. 



"NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL." 

TARRANT'S EXTRACT 



CUBEB AND COPAIBA 

is mi old, tried remedy 
ftn- gonorrhoea, gleet, 
ami all diseases ol the 
urinary organs. Its 

neat, portable form, 
freedom from taste and 

'■flySffJ^ \ra speedy action (it ire- 
U t&M '■Sift r3 ' ' l ""'"' ^ ''" rt ' s in three 
[s\ %*w* H ' IK "r f,l "r da\s and always 
in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make " Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the niOHt desira- 
ble remedy ever manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud see 
1ms a rbd btbjp across the face 
of label, with the signature of TARRANT 4 CO., 
upon it. 

PRICE SI. 



AMUSEMENTS, 



< :■ I i lot-ciia '1' heater. 

K.w'kin &, Co Proprietors 

E. D. PaiCE Manager 

Every Evening, including Sunday. 

Matinee To-day at 2 p. \i. 

Continued Success of the Greatest of all 
Spectacles, 



K1KALFY 



;ros.' 



Under the Management of MR. AL. HAYMAN, 
OORGEOr.S PRODUCTION OK Till-; 

BLACK CROOK. 



Order Carriages at 11 p. m. sharp. 
SECURE YOUR SEATS. 



Bush-strcea Theater. 

M. B. Leavitt Lessee and Proprietor 

ClIAS. P. Hall Manager 

The eiit of the Season! 

SECOND WEEK. 

HOUSES CROWDED TO THE DOORS. 

The Idol of the Fun Loving Public, 

ALICE HARRISON, 

And her great Comedy Company, in the Roaring 
Farcical Absurdity, 

HOT WATER. 

New Songs ! New Dances ! New Scenic Effects ! 
Family Matinee To-day at *Z. 

POPULAR PRICES. 

Xcxt Monday .(January £5tli, 

EOITIIA'S BUKULAK I 

SST Entire Change of Bill Next Week. 



THE 

BATTLE OF WATERLOO. 

Cor. Eddy and Mason Sts. 

Open daily from 9 a. m. to 11 v. iu. 



NOTICE TO CREDITORS. 

INSTATE OF CHRISTINA M. HEDLUND, 
■* J deceased. —Notice is hereby given by the 
undersigned, Executrix of the Last Will and 
Testament of Christina M. Hedlund, deceased, 
to the creditors of, and all persona having claims 
against the said deceased, to exhibit them with 
the necessary vouchers, within ten months after 
the first publication of this notice, to the said 
Executrix, at the office of Charles F. Hanlon, at 
Pbelan's Building, 800 Market street, rooms 16 
and 44, the same being her place for the trans- 
action of the business of the said Estate in the 
City and County of San Francisco, State of Cali- 
fornia. MRS. M. NELSON, 

Executrix of the Last Will and Testament of 
Christina M. Hedlund, deceased. 

Dated at San Francisco, January IS, 1SS6. 

Charles F. Hanlon, Attorney for Executrix. 



DIVIDEND NOTICE. 

The German Savings and Loan 
Society. 

For the half year ending Dec. 31, 1885, the 
Board of Directors of THE GERMAN SAVINGS 
AND LOAN SOCIETY has declared a dividend 
at the rate of four and one-half (4\) per cent, 
per annum on term deposits, and three and 
three-fourths (3J) per cent, per annum on ordi- 
nary deposits, and payable on and after the 2d 
day of Januarv, 1886. By order. 

GEO. LETTE, Secretary. 




that each packagi 



Sold by all Druggists. 



Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEARNY STREET. 
Still treats, with the same wonderful success as of 
Old, til CHRONIC, PRIVATE, NBRVOl s, nlld WASTING 
d i se ases, such as nervous DBBIUI v. loss OP vital- 
ity, PROSTATITIS, KIDNEY, It LAUD I II a, ..I LIVIK 
DISEASES, UNNATURAL DRAINS, cilliL-r »L\ .. r (m-lil 

IMPAIRED vn ALirv, etc. 

DR. MlNTtEisa REGULAR PHYSICIAN GRADUATE 
OFTHEOLDESTCOLLECBIN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known ever tin.- entire Pacific 

COaSI I'.. in hlS lODfj: and successful carter jii IIk- liriiL-ticc 
nl hi-, >.|-i:ci.i)iy i iii his city, making curt -, In many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a term of years 

HOU8B PHYSICIAN, 
Or Resident Surgkon. in the Orthopedic Hospital at 
Philadelphia, and he would say to YOUNG Men who arc 
sulferini; from the efTcclS of YOUTHFUL follies and 
MIUDLE-ACI'D MEN who are PREMATURELY OLD con- 
sult one who has made your disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Donor will a(jrcu' to forfeit $1,000 for a case of this 
kind he takes and fails to cure. 

DR. MlNTlE is sole proprietor of the now fi us 

English remedy, the SIR AsTl.IiV C'<OPIiR VITAL Krs- 

torative, which lie furnishes free to patients. 

CONSULTATION FREE. Thorough examination and 
advice inclu;.in£ chemical analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest oijiniuii given in 
every case. 

Office Hours— o to 3 daily; evenings, 6 lo 8 ; Sunday 
u lo 1 only. Call or address, 

A. E. lUNTTE, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 

San Francisco, CnL 



LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT T0 THE UNFORTUNATE' 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- IU IIIL UMI UlllUllHIL! 



3F MEAT. Finest and cheapest -Moat Fla 
voting Stock lor Soup$, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, 8,000,000 jars. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF .MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feci grateful." — See "Medical 
Press," "Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fac-simile of Baron 
Liebig's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title "Baron Liebig" and pho- 
tograph having been largely used by deal- 
el's with no connection with Baron Liebig, 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF .MEAT. To liu had of all Storekeepers, 

Grocers ami Chemists. Sole agents for the 

United States (wholesale only) C. David & 

Co., 9 Fenchurch Avenue, London, Eng. 

Mold Wholesale by RICHARDS & 

CI AKKISOX. ami UXIiLEY A 

MICHAELS. 



Tf 
BOTTLE 



! qUFFICENT TO 
: ° show the merits of 
l>R.KALir'lRLI» S 
; KKJI'VKXATOK 

THE GREAT 
STRENGTHENING 
: REMEDY and NERVE 
; TONIC, will he sent to 
: any one afflicted with 
; Nervous Debility, Loss 

II 1 1 of Vitality, Involuntary 

Drains, Organic Weakness, Loss of Manhood, 
etc., the results of youthful follies and excesses, 
for which it is a never-failing cure. As also 
Kidney and Bladder Complaints, Impurities of 
the Blood and Diseases of the Skin, Pimples, 
Eruptions, etc. Communications strictly confi- 
dential. Consultation by letter or at office free. 
Call or address 

OR. C. fl>. SALFIELI), 
"&m Kearny St.,San Waucisco,Cal, 



PfcNfoYniiYAL PiLLS. 

"CHiCHts i tK'6 English." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations, lndispensible to Ladies. Ask 
your .Druggist for "CJucliester'a Kns- 

lif.ll" anil taice no other, or inclose l cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars in lkttkr by return 
mail. \A.1IK PAPER. CIi icJi.es ter 
Cu.emi.eai Co., js.it:* Matliwon Sg/re, 

I'll <.:,,.. ,ci |»[i i;i. Pa. 

TKADE supplied by GEO. C. GOODWIN 
& CO., Wholesale Agents, Boston, Ittass. 

C. L. BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

Poultry and Wild Game 

Gi>, 4W 7 H7 California Market, 

San Francisco. All orders attended to at the 
Shortest Notice. Goods delivered Free of Charge 
to any part of the City. 



Dr. (-UBliON'K DISPENSARY 




KEAR- 



4»o*-> KEA 

O -OO NTS 

San Francisco — Es- 
tablished in 1854 for 
the treatment and 
cure of Special Dis- 
eases, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases wearing on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, per- 
manently cured: the 
sick and afflicted 
should not fail to call 
upon him. The Doc- 
tor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doetor cures when others fail. Try him. DR. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cure. Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HOME. All communi cations strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J. F. GIBBON, Box li»f>7, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 




E*TAI£liISHEI». S*. F., lK«:t. 




>LEADING OPTICIAN* 



13ff 

BMONTG'Yi 



DUFFEY& O'BRIEN, 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

POULTRY «fc GAME. 

Stalls 3 & 4 California Market, 
California St. entrance) San Francisco. 



Ft I I p ^^ Instant relief. Final cure in 
"I I— ICiOs lo days, and never returns. 
No purge, no salve, no suppository. Sufferers 
will learn of a simple remedy. Free", by address- 
ing C. J. MASON, 78 Nassau st, N. Y. 



THE MOST COMPLICATED CASES OF 

DEFECTIVE VISION 

Thoroughly diagnosed, free of charge, and 
kinds of Lenses made to order. 

SPECTACLES, 

Their adaptation to the various conditions of 
sight have been my specialty for 3ft Years. 

Compound Astigmatic Lenses 

Mounted to Order at Two Hours' Notice. 

O. MULLER, 

OPTICIAN, 

135 Montgomery St., near Bush. 

Orders by Mail or Express promptly- 
attended to. 



THE WASP. 



One of the cruelest reports made by any musical 
audience is reported from California. A vocalist 
was warbling to her own great satisfaction, "0, 
would I were a bird." A rough miner replied, 
" O, would I were a gun." — Musical Courier. 



"What is the origin of motion?" asked a cele- 
brated preacher. Well, there are many origins. A 
call to come up and have a drink will bring fifty men 
to their feet in a second, and a spider down a girl's 
back is the origin of some of the liveliest motion the 
world ever saw." — Ex. 



THE 



LDINO 



COR. MARKET AND JONES STS. 



WONDERFULLY CHEAP LINES 

OFFERED BY 

J.J.O'BRIEN&CO. 



We respectfully invite the attention of our patrons and the 
public to the following 

SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS ! 

AH of which are entirely fresh and seasonable, and are offered at 
such low prices as render them 

Decided Attractions: 

100 Nigger-Head Tailor-Made Walking Jackets, in black, brown 
and blue, regular price £10 each, marked down to §5. 

100 Boucle Tailor-Made Walking Jackets, regular price §15, 
marked down to $7.50 each. 

500 dozen Ladies' Extra Heavy Cotton Hose, split feet, regular 

price 35e. a pair, offered at 25c. 
500 dozen Ladies' Extra Heavy Fancy Stripe Cotton Hose, split 

feet, usual price 65c, offered at 33$e. 

200 dozen Ladies' 4, 6 and S Button Length Taffeta Gloves, regular 
price 75c.-, 85c. and til a pair ; the lot will be offered at 25c. a 
pair. 

150 dozen S-Button Length Pure Silk Jersey Gloves, regular price 
SI. 50 a pair, offered at 50c. 



COUXTRl ORDER DEPARTMENT. 

Our Country Order Department is now fully organized, and we 
take pleasure in stating that our patrons are offered advantages 
not presented elsewhere, our stock being the largest on the coast, 
entirely fresh and new, samples of which we shall be glad to 
forward for comparison to any part of the State, 

J.J.O'BRIEN&CO. 

Murphy Building, 

COR. MARKET AND JONES STS. 



THE FOOL'S PARADISE. 




ART PAINTED, 
ENCAUSTIC, 
GLAZED AND 
PLAIN. 



For 
FlOORS.WALLS 

HEARTHS and 
MANTEL FAC- 
INGS. 



W. W. MONTAGUE & CO. 

MANTELS, GRATES, FENDERS, ANDIRONS, 

HOT AIR FURNACES, 
»0», ail, 313, 315, 317 Market street, 

(Between Eeale and Fremont,) 
SAN FRANCISCO. 



mooo 



l AOESiTS WANTED AT ONCE 

J for Dr. Scott's Electric Corsets, Belts 
'Brushes, etc. Large advertising, sales 
& pronts guaranteed, no risk in outfit. Only respectable 

SgRi3&».hll Mall Electric tis'i, 8 « = B »"^ J 



The past was forgotten and peace reigned supreme 

As he slumbered in blissful repose, 
AndJ.it up with glory the heavens did seem 

To rain sugar-plums, kisses and praise. 

And he could not remember why ever should be 

Of trouble and sorrow a trace 
While entrance to Eden's eternal was free, 

And sugar-plums, kisses and praise. 

And still in his dream he scoffed at the thought 

That ever existed a craze 
To convert any people by arguments aught 

Than sugar-plums, kisses and praise. 

And all that got kisses not lusciously sweet, 
Faint praise, or poor plums, heaved a sigh ; 

But never a murmur escaped them although 
They wandered off somewhere to die. 

But kisses grew staler, and sugar-plums more, 

And praises grew fainter and thin, 
And spite of endeavor behind and before 

Mankind grew addicted to sin. 

And smaller and meaner in hope and in aim 

The favored of fortune grew still ; 
As all the poor fellows who died of their shame 

The graves of the stricken did fill. 

And noodles and sapheads and bummers to spare, 

And flunkeys and dudies increased, 
Like lice on a cabbage in midsummer air 

And maggots on bodies deceased. 

He was waked in a trice by a kick from his mule, 

Quick healing there war in its fling, 
And wondered if ever there was a like fool 

Who needed not just the same thing. 

John C. Kastner. 



WOMAN. 



Women always show by their actions that they 
enjoy going to church ; men are less demonstrative. 

When a woman becomes flurried she feels for a 
fan ; when a man becomes flurried he feels for 
a cigar. 

Women jump at conclusions and generally hit ; 
men reason tilings out logically and generally 
miss it. 

Some women can't pass a millinery store without 
looking in ; some men can't pass a saloon without 
going in. 

A woman never sees a baby without wanting to 
run to it ; a man never sees a baby without wanting 
to run from it. 

Women love admiration, approbation, self-immo- 
lation on the part of others ; are often weak, vain 
and frivolous. Ditto men. 

A woman always carries her purse in her hand so 
that other women will see it ; a man carries his in 
his inside pocket so that Iris wife won't see it. 

A woman can sit in a theater for tliree hours 
without getting all cramped up, catching the tooth- 
ache or becoming faint for want of fresh air ; a man 
can't. 

A woman, from her sex and character, has a claim 
to many things beside her shelter, food and clothing. 
She is not less a woman for being wedded ; and the 
man who is fit to be trusted with a good wife recol- 
lects all which this implies, and shows himself at all 
times chivalrous, sweet-spoken, considerate and 
deferential. 



That there is a great difference between the Puri- 
tan of the past and his descendants of the present 
day was conclusively evidenced at the recent dinner 
of the New England Society in New York. 

The old Puritan was satisfied with salt codfish 
tliree times a day, with an occasional dish of oat- 
meal as a relish. He inclined to tlvinness, and re- 
garded a fat and jolly man as an irreclaimable person 
who should be banished to Greenland. The May- 
flower Puritan rarely laughed, and he looked upon 
a side door as the entrance to eternal death. 

The Puritan of to-day is a far different sort of a 
man. His pockets are stuffed with matine'e tickets 
and prize fight advertisements, and he sometimes 
slants his high hat on the back of his head in an 
extremely worldly manner. Champagne is his fa- 
vorite beverage, although he will not disdain a glass 
of beer on a warm day. It is safe to say that the 
Puritan of the present is better liked and has a pile 
more fun than his great-grandfather. — N. Y. Morn- 
ing Journal. 



"My dear, did you observe how suitable and 
fitting was the close of the minister's address this 
morning? " 

"Well, John, I thought he looked just lovely in 
that new suit, it did fit so well. We must have him 
to take tea with us now, some evening. " 



Wheat is a very proper sort of grain usually, but 
in its stalk, like some people, it gets smutty at 
times. — Merchant Traveler. 



HUMILIATING 

ERUPTIONS 
ITCHING 

AND 

BURNING 
TORTURES 



*ND EVERY SPKCIES OF ITCHING, Scaly, Pimply, 
rt Inherited, Ser fiilou* and Contagious Di seises of the Blood, 
Skin and Scalp, with Loss of Hair, from infancy to old agej are 
positively cured by the Cuticura Remedies 

Cuticur* Reholvbnt, the new ill- od Purifier, cleanses the 
blood and perspiration of invpurities and poisonous elements, and 
removes the Cause 

Cuticura, the great Skin Cure, instantly allays Itching and 
Inflammation, clears the Skin and Sculp, heals Sores, and restores 
the Hair. 

Cdticura Soac, nn exquisite Skin Beautifler, is indispensable in 
treating Skin. Diseases, Baby Humors, Skin Blemishes, Chapped 
and Oily Skin. 

Sold eveywhete. Price, Cuticura, 50 cents; Soap, 2> cents; 
Resolvent, $1. Prepared by the Pottkr Drug and Chemical Co., 
Boston, Mas*. 
&£r~ Send for " How to Cure Skin Diseases," 

RiiHUJunc, Neurilgie, Sciatic, Sudden, Sharp and Nerv- 
ous PaioH, instantly relieved by the Cuticura Anti-Pain 
Platter. 25c. 




Ik 




ForoneofDr. HORDE'S Electric Belts that can notb* 
recharged and the Electricity felt Instantly by the pa, 
ticntanj time without cost. Can be applied to all parts 
of the body. Wholo family can wear it. It Electrifies 
the blood and cures when all els' 1 fail? Monev refunded 
If not found oa above. £ Ell' A RE OF WORTHLESS bo- 
ealled Electric. Galvanic or Magnetic Belts. Shields and 
Appliances that are being foisted on the public, as they 
possess no pnwer nnd cannot be charged bv the patient. 
IT CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE Pains in the Back, 
Head. Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility, Lumbago. Gen- 
eral Debility. Rlu'iimatism, Paralysis." Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ica, Diseases or Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Gout, Asthma.. Heart Disease, DyqpcpBla, Constipation, 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, Im potency, Catarrh, Piles. 
Epilepsy Ague. Diabetes, etc Agent* WatoUa. Band 
ttmp for Pamphlet. 
Dr. W. J. iioUME, 

702 iia ket Htreet, Han FraneiHcn, ml. 



You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use 
of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt witn Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the Bpeedy relief and per- 
mancntcun'of. Net- en us Debility, loss of Vitality and 
Maiuwod, and all kindred troubles. Also ior many 
other diseases. Complete rcstorat ra to Health, vigor, 
and Manhood guaranteed. No r!s .is incurred. Illus- 
trated pamphlet, in billed en erl^jte rt ..eo iree, by ad- 
dressing VOLTA IC BELT CO., i*i juhalloftlich. 




HQPTURE 



itively cured in 60 days bj 
Homo's Electro-AliigiictU 
'liclt-Ti-u-M, combined. Guarun 
teed the only one in the world 
- generating :i continuous Elect ricik Mag 
' hetio Current. Sden title, Povtrful, Durable 
Comfortable, and Effective in curing Rup- 
ture. Price Reduced. .=>(>(> <,-im-d in *:t Send for pamphle 
EfcfiCTRO-MAONETIC 1 R5JSS COMPANY 

701S MaKKKT STKKKT. SAM FllAJJCIMJO- 



TYPE SETTING, etc. 
easv. Printed directions. 
For business, home use, or 
money making. For old or 
young. Sena 2 stamps for 
Catalogue of Presses. Type, 
Paper, Cards, Ac., to the 
factory, 

KELSEY & CO. 
.Heriden, Conn. 




CARD TRESS? 
CIRCULAR SIZE $ 
SElYBPAFEtt " $44 '' 



8eVE r*,-aTee"RiTeee 
Nervous S I Lost 64 Weaknes* 

Debility ^^ Moohood «» and Decay 

4 favorite prescription of & noted specialist (nOWr> 
tired.) Druggists can fill ft. Address 

DR. WARD 4 CO.. fcOCISIiNA. MO. 



TO MM MEN ; 



Buffering from theef- 

|fects of youthful er- 

i. early decay, lost 

-M—hood, etc. I will seud you « valuable treatise upon 

the above diseases, also diivci ~ 1->r <^ll-i'iir>\ \r-n of 

charge. Address Prof. F. 0. FOWLKR,Moodus,Uonn. 



THE WASP. 



i>i±:^.le:is!S itv FXJitts. 



ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 

ttio S;i ii-oiui- streed San Francisco. 
W II O I, ES ILK. 

PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 



A First-class Restaurant fur Ludii 
goinery, San Francisco. 



.■I Gentlemen. 114 Sutter street, between Kearny ami Mont- 

E. It. PERK1N. Proprietor. 



IbaLlJ w 



BUSINESS Tl,e Most Popular school on 

COLLECE, ,he Ei B8t - 

24 Post St S. F. For Circulars, A.t.h. ss 

Send for Circular. g.;_ ,»_ III^AI.I) .V i <>. 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 



IMI'ORTKKM AND DKALKOfe IS 



Book, News, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

CARD STOCK. 8TBAW AND Itl V Kl'.lts BOARD, ETC. 
Manufacturers of Patent Mai;hinc*niade Paper Bags. 

Sia to "•!<; Sacramento St., - ■ SA\ FRANCISCO. 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Good Terms Offered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN BROS. 

IMPORTERS OF 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN STREET, STOCKTON, OAL. 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 

OF STOCKTON, OAL, 

Capital Surplus, - - $300,000.00 

H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Eraser, Cashier 
General Banking Business 



CORBIN HARROWS 

Sole Agents 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

In] porters of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY 

280 & 232 Main Street Stockton 



JS. 


ZE3I_ H. 




HORSE 


MEDICINE 




H. H. MOORE & SONS, Proprietors 






Stockton, 


Cal, 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS, STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 



SEATING CAPACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Complete Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY GOODS 



185 Hunter Street 



Stockton. Cal, 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Headache, Sprain3, Bruise*,, 
Sore Throat, Colda, Kidney troubles, etc. A Specific for 

Croup. Try It ! TRY It ! For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 50c. and $1 per bottle. Address 

W. M. HICKMAN, DRUGGIST, STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 

And Wooden Tanks of all Size?) 

Also Slu'eiuor Deep-Well Pumps 
Blacksmitbiug and General Jobbing. Orders from the Country 
promptly attended. N.E. Cor. Califomia& Market St. Stockton 



J. H. O'BRIEN 

Wholesale Dealer in 

FINE WINES and LIQUORS 

224 Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Miller Extra Eastern Whiskies, Imported Brandies, Bethesda 

Water, English Ale and Porter, 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private ABYLUM fur the cure aud treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 



ASA CLARK M. D.. Prop'r and Supt. 



GRAY'S 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

jSTPersonal attention given to orders by mail for anything 
in the drug or medicine line. J. D, GRAY, 176 Main St,, 
Stockton. (27 years in the business.) 



SYLVESTER & HARROLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom. 250 & 252 Main Street, Stockton 

Factory ou Main St. bet. Graut & Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory in the San Joaquin Valley 



L 



H. C. SHAW, PLOW WORKS 

AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS 

201 & 203 EL DORADO STREET STOCKTON 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain aud Produce 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Orders solicited aud promptly filled. All kinds of Seeds for 

sale. Post Office Box 279. 



YOSEMITE house 

Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 
The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rates-S2.00 to §3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH & WRENCH, Proprietors 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L K. HAMMER 

820 J Street ... Sacramento 
Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



, E. Cor. Fifth and J Sts. 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 



Established, 18 

Produce and Fruit 



2. Wholesale Dealers in 

Commission Merchants 



126 and 128 J Street, Sacramento, Cal. 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

importers and dealers in 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 

Baby Carriages Etc. 

629 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



W. F. PETERSON 

MANUFACTURING CONFECTIONER 

Importer and Jobber in all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuts 

Fancy Bores, etc. 

618 and 620 J St. Sacramento, Cal. 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints, Oils and Glass. 
Proprietors of Pacific Color Works. Acme Rubber Paint a 
specialty 91 5, 917 and 919 Second St., Sacramento, CaL 




L. L. LEWIS & CO. 

STOVES AND RANGES 

IMPORTERS OK CROCKERY AND OLAR3WARE 

502 and 504 J Street, Sacramento. 



THE FINEST BEER IN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BREWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 

Cor. 16th and K Sts. Sacramento, Cal. 

Orders promptly attended to. 



A. H. POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents for Dr. Motfs Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett Springs Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or in case 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAX. 

Special care given to Country Orders 



MRS. E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 
Branch House, 419 K St,, Metropolitan Theater Building. 

Sole Proprietor ;md Manufacturer of the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lemon 



A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing, Robes, Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St,, Sacramento. 



THE WASP. 



SCHMIDT LABELS LITH0.CO..SAN FRANCISCO 



OUR FREE LIBRARY 



mttUUK S JTKUJNUri K1CTAURANT PRIVATE S,i BA 5 ETHALL 12 & 14 OTarrell 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COM 1»A "S V, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS.. S. F. 
Monufn turereul and Dealers in 

FURNITURE, BEDOINC & UPHOLSTERY, 

W leu Mantels and Hardwood 

House Finish a Specially, 
) I..1.1 issortmknt Constantly on Hand im. 

M mik in ORDBR. 

Bvery Artlole Warranted i Satisfaction 

Guaranteed, 

CALIFORNIA 

Sugar Refinery. 

Office, :i27 Market street. 




QTORE YOUR FURNITURE, P,AN E ^. T ^ NKS 



II CA1IPORSHA STOKAG 

,r Xt'xt to Grand Opera Hong 



« Hti-'.naisn. 
Ail vances made. 



■TOO MISSION 
I STKEET. 



III. I I.VKIII 



I'OTKEKO. 



OLA I IS sl'KKi :k els President 

J. D.SPRECKELS Vice-President 

A. IS. SPRECKELS Secretary 




Decker Bros: Pianos. 

BCatcIiless for Fine Tone, Elegant Finish 
uiiil Great Durability. i :..«!<>. ■-,,■<. by all 

Artists throughout tin: world. 

KOHLER & CHASE, Agents, 

137 A 180 POST STItEET. S. E. 



w.t. coleman & Co. POMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 

^J Manufacturers of Evuiv Description of 

SHIPPING AND T Q| LET A|jD UUNDRY g 0ApSj WASH|NC p 0W|)ERj ET() ( ETC 

Commission Merchants, 0ffice > 22a Sacramento St., - . San Francisco, Cal. 

; OAK1X & I.IHItr.V. Managers. 

S.E. cor. Market and Main Sts. 



SAN FRANCISCO. 



SWATN'Q CAMILY BAKERY and 
VY ill IN O T DINING SALOON. 
OOO MARKET /families supplied wltn Wedding fake, 
hilh " lnrin - c - l ' } lee Cream. O ysters, Jellies, etc. 
vUU Opp. Palace Hotel. "• _ ■■ - ■_,.,. R 
G S HAL'_. Pcqpbif 

RJECq MMEXJPEP BY 4RE ME1JICAJL FACULTY EVEKVWHEBE 

joe poheims Jarvis Brandy 

'ustomer's as he left that Tailor's %J 



" Fashionable and tits him like a 
Glove." 

Such was the criticism on one of 



DAVID CAIIN 

EUGENE MEYER.. 



Establishment. 

SUITS FROM $20 
PANTS _" $6 

303 Montgomery street, 

734 Market street, 
1HO aud 1113 Market street, 

11 and 13 Turk street. 



3 i John M. Curtis, 

~ j 

f, ! (Late CURTIS it BENNETT,) 

* ARCHITECT, 



g 528 California St. 

ri ^ — — 



Rooms 14 and 15. 



JOHN B. MolNTYRE, 

book: i3i]vr>EPt 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 
433 Clay and 433 Commercial Sts. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



GJIRMEA 

FOr^BREAKF&f, 
^DELIG!OUS/u 

%; l try ■iT'i',:.* # 



JARVIS BRANDY CO., GROWERS AND DISTILLERS, SAN JOSE, CAL. 

Px*iase Medal at the World's Exposition, New Orleans. 

HAS REMOVED. 

HOME MUTUAL INS. CO. 

NOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
No. 316 Hansome street, 

East side, bet. California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more commodious offices. 

31st Annual Exhihit, Jan. 1, 1SS5 

Premiums since orgun'zatioii §5,021,759 52 

Losses since organization, 2, US, 501 S4 

Assets, Jan. 1, 18S5 856,058 22 

Surplus for Policy Holders 825,963 08 

Income 1884 484,616 73 

Capital, paid-up, Gold. 300,000 00 

Reinsurance Reserve 275,157 07 

Net Surplus over everything' 250,806 61 

President J. F. HOUGHTON 

Vice-President J. L. N. SHEPAPJ3 

Secretary t CHARLES R. STORY 

General Agent R. H. MAliILL 

JOHN MIDDLETON, 

14 Post, and S. W. cor. Powell & Sutter. 




FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, 

aoo, 311 Front St., San Francisco 

The Best and Purest ov California Wines 

ASI) liKAMllrJS. 




ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

Commence the New Year right, 

Economize in every way possible, 
IEu.\ a Ifil'lt It IfiEI) as a starter 

and Save Kent. 

BURR FOLDING BED GO. 

«(>» MARKET STREET. 




Bed Open. 



Instantaneous Photographs, 

1025 I.AltKIA STREET, 

Comer, of Sutter, SaN FRANCISCO. 

THE NEVADA BANK 

OF SAX FRANCISCO. 

Capital paid up, *<;t,0O0,<MM>. 

Agency at New York, 02 Wall street. 

Agency at Virginia, Nevada. 

Buys and sells Exchange and Telegraphic 
Transfers. Issues Commercial and Travelers' 
Credits. 

LONDON, PARIS AND AMERICAN BANK 

LIMITED, 

305 Hansome street. 

Subscribed Capital §2,500,000 00 

Paid up Capital ¥2,000.000 00 

Reserve Fund 850,000 00 

Manager 

Sub-Manager 

Head Office : 

9 and 10 Tokenhouse Yard, Lothburv, London. 
\GF\f[Fs ' Paris— 10 rue St. Cecile. 

J ' Wlj0 ( New York-46 Exchange place. 

This Rank transacts a general Banking and 
Exchange business, issues Letters of Credit and 
Travelers' Credits, available in the principal 
cities of the world, 

ANGLO-NEVADA 

Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

FIRE & MAJRINE-. 

Subscribed Capital £2,000,000. 

Office: 410 Pine street. 

W. GREER HARRISON, President and Manager 

J. L. FLOOD Vice-President 

C. P. FARNFIELD Secretary 

J. S. ANGUS Assistant Manager 

Bankers—The Nevada Bank of 
San Francisco. 

AMERICAN 

SUGAK REFINERY CO. 

San FRAr-C'SCO. 

Manufacturers of all Classes of 

Rellned Sugars, including Loaf 

Sugar for Export. 

E. L. G. STEELE, President. 
Office, 308 California St. 

E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public & Commissioner of Deeds. 
233 MONTGOMERY STREET, S. F. 



Adopted1876. ORIGINAL ReiisteredWi 

<^ BUDWEISER <6& 



LOUVRE, 



On Draught 
only at the 

jriJEHJS CHRUEHI, 1» 



PHELAN BLOCK, 

Cor. l>upout. 
■oprietor. 



BRANCH 8T - ANN ' S building, 

*-» I im ^1 W I I j Jun. Eddy and Powell. 
JULIUS GRUEN & MAX V0GELSLANG, Prop'tors 



MAYES' 



OYSTER SALOONI DEALS EXCLUSIVELY IN OYSTERS 



^.IVI> I>EF»OT. 



, 



40 CALIFORNIA MARKET, entrance on California St. 



DANICHEFF KID GLOVES. 



SALESROOM, 

No. 119 DUPONT STREET 



CD 
■-j 



CO 

CD 
CD 



£3 



DR. ZELLE'S HAMMAM, 



(Established 1S52.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best BATHS on the 
Pacific Coast. Turkish, Russian, Steam, Sulphur or Medicated Baths 
for Ladies and Gentlemen, All on the ground iloor (no basement). 



522 to 528 



PACIFIC ST. 

Scar EEABKY. 



/ETNA SPRINGS SODA. 



rUKt NAIUKAL IVIIINfcKAL WATER. 
Office : fS7^ HOWARD STREET. 



*or kale Erei-ywhere. 

TRY IT. 



FIRE. MARINE. 

The Largest Pacific Coast Insurance Co. 

OF CALIFORNIA. 

ASSETS $1,500,000 

HOME OFFICE: 
S.W. cor. California and Sansome, 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

D. J. Staples President 

ALl'liEus Bull Vice-President 

Wsi. J. Dutton Secretary 

E. W. Carpenter ...Assistant Secretary 

HUTCHINSON & MANN 

INSURANCE AGENCY, 

N. E. cor. California & Sansome. 

CASH ASSETS REPRESENTED §23,813,618 

H. M. Newhall & Co. 

SHIPPING & COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

Cieneral Agents of 

NATIONAL 

Assurance Co. of Ireland. 

ATIL AS 

Assurance Co. of London. 

BOYLSTON 

Mutual Ins. Co. of Boston. 

309 SANSOME STREET. 

RANKS ALL, ! 
The Old Reliable 

MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE GO. 

Of New York. 

A. B. FORBES, 

General Agent for the Pacific Coast. 
214 SANSOME STREET. 




THROAT, 
CATARRH, 

It will Cure 

CONSUMPTION. 



Post Office Box 1886. 




LXJIVGJ-S, 

FEVERS. 



For Conglis, Colds, Whoop- 
ing Coughs and all Throat 

jjjjpPP F Affections il has on equal. 



TRADE MARK. 
Patented Feb. 20, 1SS3. 



Address, 

VALENTINE HASSMER, 933 Washington St. cor. Powell, S. F. 

"give thy son a liberal EDUCATION." 

ACIFIC BUSINESS flOLLECE 



P acific n 
LIFE MEMBERSHIP I [H 
ONLY S70. JU? 



SEND FOR 

CIRCULAR 



y 320^ 



ST. 



GEO. C. SHREVE & CO. 

Sole Agents in California for the Sale of 

ROGERS, SMITH & GO'S PLATED WARE. 

Oile-i- Full I J no* of these Desirable Oootls 
at Very Low Prices- 

MONTGOMERY AND SUTTER STREETS. 

Dr. Gates' Turkish and Russian Steam Baths. 

ELECTRICITY APPLIED ! BEST SHAMPOOINC ! 

T'^'^ MONTGOMERY ST., - - near Washington. 



PUTNAM HOUSE, AUBURN, CAL. 





Home for Invalids, Tourists, and Pleasure- Seekers. Auburn is known as the healthiest town in 
California. The climate is peculiarly adapted to lung diseases, etc., while the surroundings of the 
PUTNAM assures recreation to all. "Terms moderate. ,IOII\ <* A SS\ B-: It. Prop'r. 

® T^ IX J3 Jk. JE& T> 

MACHINE LOADED 

SHOTGUN CARTRIDCrES. 
cheapest ^rsrr> best : 



Best 3-4 t.aruen Hose lO cents 

New Gas ami Oil Stoves si to i*9 

New Electric Oil Torches, S4 each 

NV". DE. L^IVE, 

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R.H.M c Donald. flA&fiJfcniy. 

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^'Surplus* 500.000.00. 

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THE COCOA CROP is SHORT 

LOOK OUT FOR ADULTERATIONS ! 

BY USING 

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CHOCOLATE 

Yon will l>e sure of securing 
THE BEST! 

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SOLE AGENTS. 

PATENT COVERS 



FILING THE WASP. 



Subscribers wishing to preserve their Back 
Numbers can have our 

PATENT COVERS 

sent to any part of the United States by sending 
Fifty Cents. 



THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 

533 California Street. 



OCEANIC STEAMSHIP CO. 
J. D. Spreckles & Bros., 

327 Market Street, 

OWNERS OF 

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Packages & Freight to Honolulu 

NAPA SODA SPRINCS. 

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t 



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VOLUME XVI. 



NUMBER r,. 



Price ^• 



SAN FRANCISCO, SATURDAY, JANUARY 30, 1886. 



-| lO CENTS. 



REPRESENTS THE /W s and MANUFACTURES OF 



JA 




I CHI BAN 



Tite most beaIitifUl & imposing! established on the pa'gifig coast c i 8 market ST & 15 & 17 POST ST 

THE MOST INTERESTING RESORT lH 5AN FRANCISCO, oji i Attc ' Mncni ir ' ' 

PARENT OF THE rANIOUS J^EE BA^ Of CHICAGO. msm PALACE H0TEL ° pp ™ MASON C™ PLE 




CHAS. I. HAVENS, 

ARCHITECT, 

Formerly Schmidt & HAVENS, 



121 POST ST., 



Rooms 27-28, over O'Connor, Moffatt & Co. 
San Francisco. 



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c. 


"EXCELSIOR!" 

ZINNS, 


FASHIONABLE TAILOR, 


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3AN FRANCISCO. 



J. D. BARR & SON, 

323 Bitbii Street, next to Bush-street Theater, and 

032 Market Street, next to Baldwin Theater, 
Manufacturers and Importers of 

Umbrellas, Walking Canes, Parasols, Etc. 

The most extensive establishment on the Pacific Coast. 





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SAFES. 








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The traveling public will find this to be the most con- 
venient as well as the most comfortable and respectable 
Hotel in the city. Board and room §1, SI. 25 and $1.50 per 
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MONTGOMERY BROS. Proprietors. 



E . MARTIN & CO. 

Importers and "Wholesale Liquor Dealers. 

'Argonaut," "J. F. Cutter" and " Miller's 

Extra," Old Bourbon Whiskies. 



408 Front Street, 



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COOKS BROS. 

WALL PAPER AND FRESCOING, 
Parquet Floors, Imitation Stained Glass, 

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" WHITE 


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WHISKIES 


Holland Gin 

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French Brandies 
, in Bond or Duty 


Port, Sherry, 
Paid. 


GEORGE STEVENS, 


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F. DANERI & CO. 

IMPORTERS and WHOLESALE GROCERS, 
AGENTS FOR THE FAMOUS 

FERNET -BRANCA, 

27 &, 29 California St., bet. Davis & Drumm. 



GO TO THE 

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Private Dining Rooms up stairs. Open all night. 



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In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Hock Wines, 

In Cases, from G. M. Pabstmann Sohn, Mainz. 




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Second -hand Safes always 
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HALL'S SAFE AND LOCK COMPANY, 

211 Jk 213 California St., S. F. 

RESTAURANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

520 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered dailv. Cake9 made to 
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WESTPHALIA HAMS. German Sausages. 

A. REUSCHE. 

J. D. SPRECKELS & BROS. 

SHIPPING AI%1> 



am- superior to aii in richness & ouality. -g« Commission Merchants. 



STORAGE 



for 1'lBXITl'RE. PIAXOS anil other 
Goods, at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
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made. J, M# PIERCE. 



AGENTS FOR 

Spreckels' Line of Hawaiian Packets, S. S. 

Hepworth's Centrifugal Machines, Reed's 

Patent Pipe and Boiler Covering. 

327 MARKET STREET, 

Cor. Fremont, 
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Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
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Equaled by None. 

J. ^V. EV^VIVS, 
GENERAL AGENT, 

Xo. 29 POST ST. 




IOTTO NORMANN 4, s ' BUSH STREET ' s - F - 



Sole Agent Pacific Coast. 



BORER'S 
BITTERS 

Used as a TOXIC and COCKTAIL 
BITTER 

SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

For Sale by all Wholesale Dealers and in all 
First-class Saloons. 

WILLIAMS, DIMOND & GO. 

SIIIPPI^Cm and 

Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
Junction Market & Pine streets, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

AGENTS FOR 
Pacific Mail S. S. Co.: the Pacific Steam Naviga- 
tion Co. ; the Cunard Royal Mail S. S. Co. : the 
Hawaiian Line ; the China Traders' Insurance 
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THE WASP. 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



One never knows how swiftly punishment will 
follow when once embarked upon a career of crime. 
Some of the sand-lot communists met at Ixora hall 
the other night, but in the absence of the expected 
speaker Sister Stow was turned loose upon the au- i 
dience. As the doorkeeper was armed with a stout I 
club, however, no guilty man was allowed to escape. 



After 1 had squeezed all the water out of and up- 
ended liim I hope 1 may never stir if he didn't brace 
up and say, 'Thanks — how about that &81.50? ' " 
"Your tailor? " gasped the other. 
"Yes, Jim, our tailor. And I had saved him!" 

And But come away, gentle reader, come 

away. There are some sorrows too deep and holy 
for the heartless gaze of the unsympathizing world. 



BRET HARTE'S NEW POEM. 



President Cleveland's attack upon the newspaper 
correspondents recalls the story of the farmer who 
went out shooting skunks. 

"I got eight dollars and forty cents' worth of | 
skunk-pelts," he said, thoughtfully ; "but that ah" 
suit of clothes cost me twenty-four dollars and fifty ; 
cents, and my wife has gone to live with her mother j 
till the thing sorter blows over." 



A Mrs. Parker of Portland fell dead the other 
day while disputing with a neighbor over a dog. The 
next day the widower sold the dog for eighteen dol- 
lars, as he had no intention of marrying again. 
There is nothing like a first-rate advertisement, 
after all. 



Cynolatry, or dog-worsliip, is the latest fashion- 
able mania among women. No New York or Boston 
lady considers her costume complete, nowadays, 
unless she has a small beribboned lapdog to tuck 
Tinder her left arm. The sausage-makers have been 
•doing their best to work up a hydrophobia scare, 
but so far without avail. The price of provisions is 
steadily rising and as a consequence prune cats are 
firmer in first hands with every prospect of a corner 
in spring kittens. 

The vivid romancist of the Ass. Press seems to 
be very much torn up and agitated in liis feelings 
because Joaquin Miller is unable to support his 
daughter. It would seem hard enough for a real 
poet to corral a sufficiency of meal tickets " for one 
person only," as the three-for-two restaurant bills- 
of-fare express it, but to expect " Wauk " to free- 
lunch a family on his verses is somewhat crowding 
the mourners. Next thing some one will expect 
an editor to endow a college or something. We 
commend to the telegraphic emotionalist above 
mentioned the case of ex-editor Boody of Humboldt, 
who was tried for the murder of his twelve-year-old 
son with a bung-starter last spring. The evidence 
was very conclusive and everybody expected the old 
man would swing, but he saw there were four 
journalists on the jury and so when they put him 
on the stand old Boody simply remarked : 

" I had nothing agin the child, Judge — he was a 
nice boy, but that morning I found him out in the 
woodshed writing verses, and you all know what 
that leads to." 

And he was acquitted without the jury leaving 
their seats. 



HARD LUCK. 



The present unaccountable stringency in the 
money market is rather hard on our local Dick 
Swivellers. 

"I say, Impycue," said one of the fraternity to 
another, as they were engaged in holding down a 
lunch-counter the other morning, "how is it I don't 
see you anywhere on Sundays of late ? " 

" Well, the fact is it isn't safe. I've no objection 
to going to the office by way of North Beach every 
morning, but when it comes to running against your 
hatter as I did down at Monterey last month, it 
kinder takes the edge off a fellow's enjoyment, I can 
tell you." 

"You did, eh-?" 

" Yes ; and the following Sunday I slipped out to 
the Cliff House and I'm blessed if the first man I 
stumbled over wasn't my restaurant-keeper. He 
wanted to know how about that old bill, of course." 

" Hard luck, that." 

" Sunday after that I took in the Fourteen-mile 
House with some of the boys. I invited a fellow to 
beer and he rang in a friend on me. It was my own 
bootmaker." 

" Next week I went over fishing at Saucelito. I 
got out of bait and rowed up to another man to 
borrow some worms. He w r as my dentist." 

" Whew ! " 

" Last Sunday I thought I'd fix 'em sure. I 
borrowed Skidmore's gun and went way down on 
the marshes for a shoot. I was having a good time 
when a fellow comes along in a skiff and upset right 
in front of me. He couldn't swim, so I jumped in 
the creek and nearly got drowned pulling him out. 



President Cleveland must have a large cranial 
development after all. _No sooner had it become 
definitely announced that he "pays all bills through 
his secretary and never carries any money in his 
pockets " than the feverish anxiety to get him mar- 
ried has greatly abated among society ladies. 



Investigation proves that the story of a huge 
meteor having struck the State of New Jersey amid- 
ships last Monday was a cruel hoax. It pains us to 
have to break the news to the public, but New 
Jersey is there yet. 



The coal dealers have struck a soft snap — the 
present cold one. 



"I'll take a hot Scotch — plenty of sugar," said a 
man with a torchlight nose, sticking his head into 
Dr. Plantem's office the other morning. 

"Do you take this for a saloon?" growled the 
specialist. " I'm not a barkeeper." 

"Then what do you mean by that sign outside, 
1 The public treated from nine to eleven ' ? Just 
like you dern impostors," and he banged out. 



The dispatches announce the ponderously im- 
portant fact that " Bob Ingersoll is rapidly growing 
gray." When the persuasive Robert lectured here 
last the flies seemed to be holding a skating-rink 
carnival on the speaker's head whenever the band 
played. All the same we always suspected Bob of 
having a lot of surplus heirs around somewhere. 



It is a sad but significant fact that a crazy-quilt 
exhibition was held in Napa the other day. It took 
place at the asylum — everything but the quilts were 
there. 



The Marysville man who whipped his daughter 
for singing in the Salvation Army is filled with 
remorse. She sings at home now. 

Derrick Dodd, 



The Rev. Sam. Jones is not a perfectionist. He 
says : "I want to go to heaven. But if at last I 
fail, and God says, ( Depart ! ' I'll be the worst dis- 
appointed man He ever made." Mr. Jones is more 
modest than some folks, but he still continues to 
borrow money at Uncle Harris' Collateral Bank, 15 
Dupont street. 

The first day of January does not make much of a 
stir among the children of men at present on the 
planet playing a life. The day never did have more 
than half a chance anyway, as on account of its 
position it seems too much like a warmed-up Christ- 
mas. If those who own stock in the day or are 
otherwise interested in it will have it come off about 
the first of October it can be made a success, but as 
it is now it conies trailing in after two of the biggest 
days in the year and no one takes any notice of it. 
As now arranged there is a long barren period con- 
sisting of one hundred and forty-four days between 
Fourth- of- July and Thanksgiving without a single 
holiday and there is no question but that if a good 
able-bodied holiday with plenty of eating and drink- 
ing in it could be put in somewhere about the middle 
of this Sahara of work days it would become very 
popular. — Marquette Mining Jmtrnal. 

" It is said " that a resident of the country, living 
near Napa, came into town Monday and got on a 
bender. Returning home he became tired and laid 
down by the wayside near his home. His better 
half missing him in the morning, went to look for 
him. She had not gone far when she beheld his 
well-known form lying in a ditch and a stream of 
water trickling past his rosy proboscis. "John," 
she called — we'll call him John for short — "John!" 
And John recognized the voice and replied, without 
moving, but with a realization of a chilly sensation 
as the water stole up Ins trowsers, "Lay over Sal 
(hie), yer gettin' all the clo's." — Napa Register. 

An English tliinker says that the American girl is 
destined to rule the world. It may be possible for 
her to rule other countries, but she will never rule 
the United States, for, you know, the genuine 
American girl does not stay at home long enough. 



A visit to Bristol repaid me in many ways, writes 
a correspondent of the Washington Post. 1 captured 
there a few lines from the pen of Bret Harte anent 
one of the many discomfiting experiences incident 
to consular positions, as related to me by the consul. 
Of a consul's manifold trials, none are more wrath 
provoking than the demands upon his credulity and 
sympathy— otherwise purse — by the tramp abroad. 
Some time last year a beguiling applicant by the 
name of Fowler (Fowler at Bristol, but having many 
aliases) went the rounds of the consulates in Great 
Britain. At Bristol he so far worked upon the - 
sympathy of the consul as to shortly make himself 
the hero of some lines, which were sent along the 
consular circuit as a note of warning : 

Upon the lines reaching Glasgow the following 
characteristic comments were sent by Bret Harte : 

I'm acquainted with affliction, chiefly in the form of fic- 
tion, as it's offered up by strangers at the consul's 
open door ; 

And I know all kinds of sorrow that relief would try to 
borrow with various sums, from six -pence upwards 
to a penny more ! 

And I think I know all fancy styles of active mendicancy, 

from the helpless Irish soldier who mixed in our 

country's war ; 
And who laid in Libby prison in a war that wasn't his'n, 

and I sent back to the country— that he never Baw 

before. 

I know the wretched seaman who was tortured by a demon 
captain till he fled in terror with his wages in arrear; 

And I've given him sufficient to ship as an efficient and 
active malefactor with a gentle privateer. 

0, I know the wealthy tourist who (through accident the 
purest) lost his letters, watch and wallet from the 
cold deck coming o'er ; 

And I heeded that preamble and lent him enough to gam- 
ble till he won back all his money on " a cold deck " 
here ashore ! 

I have tickets bought for mothers and their babes— that 
were another's — and their husbands who not always 
could be claimed as theirs alone ; 

Till I've come to the conclusion that for ethical confusion 
and immoral contribution I have little left unknown ! 

But I never, never, never ! in beneficent endeavor fell into 
the wicked meshes by the Saxon Fowler spread ; 

And it seems to me a pistol used judiciously at 1 ristol 
would have not too prematurely brought this matter 
to a head ! —Detroit Free Pn:.sn, 



"Do you think you are fitted to become a can- 
vasser, Walter? ' 
"I do." 

" Well, suppose you were calling on a customer, 
should you consider it a hint to leave if he ordered 
you to clear out of the room I " 

" I should consider that an invitation to remain." 
" Suppose he kicked you down-stairs i " 
" I should regard that as a pleasant introduction." 
" Wliat should you regard as a hint to leave ? " 
"I will tell you from my own experience. Last 
winter, wishing to study Greek and having no money 
I cast to remain at the Presbyterian hospital as an 
invalid. As ill-luck would have it I grew so fat 
in a fortnight that groan as loud as I would they 
told me to leave. I only clung the closer to my 
berth. The good doctors then kicked me out of the 
door, but 1 climbed back through the window. At 
length they told me that all the beds were taken and 
that 1 must sleep in the dissecting-room. I slept 
like a top for a week. But one day a drunken 
student came into the room brandishing a huge 
knife and cried out : " Where's that new subject? " 
I lay still till he had thrust his knife two or three 
inches into my side. Then fearing that all my 
members would secede unless I did something 
desperate I cried out, 'I take the hint,' and 
skipped. " — Minneapolis Herald. 



"Mamma," said young Pretzel, last Sunday, "do 
they gamble in churches." 

"Certainly not, my child. What put that idea 
into your head." 

" "Well I heard papa say something about ' penny 
ante ' when they passed the box around to him this 



SCOTT'S EMULSION OP PURE C01> LIVER OIL, 
WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, 

Fob Bronchial Troubles and General Debility.— 
Thomas I oyne, of Digby, N. S., makes the following 
statement : "I have been using Scott's Emulsion for six 
months, and have derived more benefit from it than any 
other treatment, indeed I believe it has saved my life, and 
can honestly recommend it to any one for bronchial trouble 
or any debilitating disease. 



THE WASP. 



UNDER THE WILLOW. 

On the wave-lapped beach I dreamily lie 
Hid from the glow of the noonday sky 

Ondex the willow. 
I watch the smoke from my brierwood curl 
Up t'ward a heaven of azure and pearl. 
Luring my thoughts from the weary world 

Under the willow, 

The pipe drops out of my idle hand, 
My bouI is away in fairy land. 

Under the willow. 
Can it be I am dreaming quite ? 
Over me bends a presence bright,— 
An angel surely — its robes are white, 

Under the willow. 

Rosily cheek and forehead flush. 
Can it be possible angels blush ? 

Under the willow. 
Can it be possible one would say, 
' Pardon me, sir, " then fade away 
As fairies do at break of day ? 
Under the willow. 

Up to my feet I Btart and gaze 
Landward— waterward— all in a maze, 

Under the willow. 
Small satisfaction my scrutiny brings, 
Not even a glimpse of vanishing wings. 
Angels are certainly slippery things. 

Under the willow. 

An angel surety — its robes were white, 
Its tresses were rays of golden light, 

Under the willow, 
stay — what is this ? — a treasure trove ? 
Angel, or vision, or spirit of love, 
She has dropped the daintiest sort of a glove 

Under the willow. 

And farther along by the sedgy brim 
Is the print of a slipper tiny and slim, 

Under the willow. 
Delicate footprint— gauntlet small, 
Gives she so little who taketh all ? 
Left she no other token at all ? 

Under the willow. 

Nothing save these— but alackaday ! 
She has stolen the dreamer's heart away. 

Under the willow. 
Left him naught but an empty breast, 
Naught but a world-wide weary quest 
For the beautiful vision that broke his rest 

Under the willow. F. H. G. 



OUR PICTURES. 



The superb design which we have taken the trouble 
to prepare for a fitting entrance to the Park needs 
no words of written explanation. It is massive, 
comprehensive, timely and a most appropriate set- 
ting for the §50,000 that is proposed to be expended 
upon a "Gate." This triumphal arch is a perfect 
compendium of the last era in the stormy life of him 
who made his dying bequest that the Park might be 
benefited from his bounty. It will also serve as a 
summing up and monument to the memory of the 
most famous litigation of modern times. We need 
not particularize its features. Each niche and ped- 
estal has its speaking feature, and even the Egyptian 
crypts have furnished their ebon mummies in the 
persons of the dark-hued Brown and Mammy Pleas- 
ance. The Atlantes, Tyler and Barnes, should thank 
us for thus embodying them in eternal granite, while 
the others less prominent though equally well rec- 
ognized, whether arranged as sphinxes, griffins or 
supports, have the proud satisfaction to know that 
they are performing a necessary and useful part in 
sustenance of this gateway of fame. The proprieties 
of history are well observed in preserving to posterity 
with equal prominence the fact that our California 
State Court held a certain writing " good and valid " 
as a marriage contract while in the same State the 
United States Court held the identical document to 
be "null and void." We are not sanguine that our 
proffered design will be adopted by the parties in 
interest, but we do know that the people will be 
unanimous in declaring that nothing more appropri- 
ate in the form of a gateway will ever be reared at 
the entrance of Golden Gate Park. 

In all times and countries the usurer has been 
held under the ban of popular disfavor. The under- 
lying sentiment of this hatred is not alone that he 



prospers on the necessities of his fellow men but 
that he advantageth himself of their distress. The 
last week has given one of our courts an opportunity 
to indicate the equity of the law against one of this 
class of extortionate interest-takers. Holding a note 
for $178, money loaned to an impecunioUB borrower, 
this broker held it until within a few days of its 
outlawry by time, charging up thereon regularly in- 
terest at the rate of five per cent, per month and 
compounding monthly. This unique professor of 
finance then applied to the courts for a judgment 
on his bond. He reckoned, however, on a different 
judge than fell to liis lot. Judge Levy heard his 
case but drove him from court with such a dressing 
down as has never before been recorded by judicial 
decree. When the grim angel claims Mr. Fisk and the 
medical societies demand his remains as their natural 
right, we are willing to wager any reasonable sum 
that "Compound Interest" will be found inscribed 
in large letters upon his gizzard. 

Our title-page cartoon represents Columbia en- 
gaged in the fashionable employment of "crazy- 
quilt" making. She has the three patches "Dakota," 
"Montana" and " Washington. " Just how she 
will get them in, and whether all or none will go in 
at present seems to be worrying her. This is a fit- 
ting delineation of the uncertainty that surrounds 
the fact at Wasliington city during the present sitting 
of Congress. 

THE BIG LOTTERY PRIZE. 



LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE. 



How Fortunes Fell to Californians in the Last Drawing 
of the Louisiana Lottery. 



Jacob Marzolf is a jovial German, who came to 
California in the early days, and finally settled down 
as proprietor of a little saloon at Black's Station, 
Yolo county. For ten years "Jake's Saloon" has 
been a well known resort there. About a year ago 
C. C. Howx, who spent most of his time prospect- 
ing in the neighboring hills, although with little 
success, suggested to Jake that they might "strike 
it rich " by investing in the Louisiana State Lottery. 
On January 1, 1885, the two started in together to 
buy five $1 tickets every month for one year. They 
were lucky in the first drawing, and continued win- 
ning small prizes amounting to over $200. Just 
before the last drawing they decided to quit buying 
tickets altogether when the year was over. Howx 
went into the hills, Jake tended his saloon, and 
neither dreamed of the good fortune in store for 
them. When the news came over the wires that 
some one at Black's Station had drawn one-tenth of 
the capital prize, 3150,000, the little town was ex- 
cited with curiosity as to who was the lucky man. 
Jake went down into his well-worn pocket-book, 
and was overjoyed on seeing that one of the tickets 
Avhich it contained was number 69,255. His partner 
was immediately notified of the bonanza they had 
struck. He returned to town, and when the money 
was collected soon after, through the Bank of 
Woodland, it was divided between the two. Both 
have altered their resolution in regard to buying 
tickets and will continue investing on a large scale 
during the present year. 

A happy-looking, handsome man stepped out of 
the office in the produce store at 437 Eleventh street, 
West Oakland, and pleasantly greeted a Call re- 
porter, who had inquired for Columbus R. Lewis. 
Mr. Lewis is another participator in the good luck 
that fell to California in the December drawing of 
the Louisiana State Lottery, having won one-tenth 
of the $150,000 prize. He is a widely-known citizen 
of Oakland, and resides with his family in a cosy 
home at 1453 Brush street. He came to California 
in 1860 and has been a produce merchant across the 
bay 14 years. He has not been at all flurried by 
the receipt of his big Christmas present, and is as 
methodical in his business as ever. He began buy- 
ing lottery tickets many years ago, an£ has con- 
tinued do so off and on ever since. By experience 
he grew to accept the outcome of each drawing 
philosophically, and he calmly heard the news when 
told that the coupon No. 69,255, which he held, 
made him $15,000 richer than he had been before. 

San Francisco also kept up its run of luck in the 
Lottery, Henry Adams, of 427 Geary street, having 
won $1,000 in the last drawing. — San Francisco 
Call, Jan. 10. 



Fredericksburg Rheingold now on draught. Don't fail 
to try it. 

CURE YOUR COLD. 

All persons suffering from Cough, Cold, Asthma, Bron 
chitis, Loss of Voice or any affection of the Throat and 
Lungs should try 38 Cough Mixture and be cured. For 
sale by all druggists. B. J. Rhodes & Co., manufacturers, 
San Jose, Cal, 



[Correspondents who cannot wait for an answer 
until publication day can enclose twenty-five cents 
and receive a reply by a messenger boy of the 
American District Telegraph Company. That will 
teach them patience. 

Correspondents wishing a settlement of a religious 
or theological controversy should enclose a stamp 
for answer by mail : we do not wish to commit the 
paper to any particular views of these matters, for 
we decide all such questions by inspiration of the 
dice ; and these do not always come out the same 
side up. Religious inconsistency in a newspaper is 
the seven deadly sins ! 

We do not answer questions to decide a bet unless 
we hold the stakes. 

Lovers find this department a great convenience, 
but sometimes neglect to forward us sufficient data 
to make the answers to their inquiries as valuable as 
they would otherwise be ; for mere literary charm 
does not always satisfy a material need. To illus- 
trate. If Mr. A. asks us a question like this : " If 
I ask Miss B. to marry me will she consent ? " how 
can we tell him unless we know how much he has 
caused her to think he is worth '/ It would be well, 
too, in all such cases to send us the lady's address, 
so that if we have any doubt we may call on her and 
ask her to define her position. 

Correspondents asking us the proper spelling or 
meaning of a word, and receiving by express a 
marked copy of Webster's Unabridged Dictionary^ 
will understand that our time or space is too valua- 
ble for public reply. 

Ladies of attractive person and agreeable manners 
are so liable to imposition that they would better 
resolve their doubts by personal interview with the 
Editor. N. B. — The bald-headed snoozer at the 
right-hand desk as you enter the office is not 
the Editor. That is the Chief Poet — he doesn't 
know anything. 

We do not undertake to answer challenges. 

We do not back our answers with money. 

People dissatisfied with the answers they get can 
enclose a suitable fee and have a different one the 
next week. 

Every question should follow an allusion to our 
"valuable and influential journal," for we think it 
is that ourselves. 

The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court has no 
right to give himself out as the person who answers 
questions of law in these columns. 

We can give the author of any quotation by 
simply turning a screw. 

In cases of the unidentified dead it would be well 
to enclose a photograph of each remain. A general 
view of the interior of the morgue may rank high as 
a work of art and yet be of little use in fitting each 
incumbent with an appropriate name. No shenani- 
gan : a fellow sent us one day a photograph pur- 
porting to be a speaking likeness of a decayed 
"floater," and we promptly identified the body as 
that of Lummux the Leper. The photograph was 
that of our worthy coroner. 

We aim to make our answers intelligible, generally 
speaking, but the Editor, who is remotely descended 
from the Delphic Oracle, has inherited a touch of his 
illustrious ancestor's infirmity, which sometimes 
breaks out at a most inopportune moment and 
darkens counsel worse than a nigger minstrel at a 
polar bear show. 

Questions whose answers would entail an exposure 
of private scandal must be accompanied by a shotgun. 

All answers to delicate questions in this depart- 
ment are to be considered as confidential. 

Correspondents wantonly heedless of any of these 
rules will be shot into fine pieces.] 

THE DISCOVERT OF AMERICA. 

To the Editor of the " Wasp" — Sir: Upon what date 
did the fourth of July fall in the year 1775?— Tax-Payer. 
We do not know. 



A MYSTERY. 

How the human system ever recovers from the bad 
effects of the nauseous medicines often literally poured 
into it for the suppositive relief of dyspepsia, fiver com- 
plaint, constipation, rheumatism and other ailments, is a 
mystery. The mischief done by bad medicines is scarcely 
less than that caused by disease. If they who are weak, 
bilious, dyspeptic, constipated or rheumatic, would oftener 
be guided by the experience of invalids who have thoroughly 
tested Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, they would in every 
instance obtain the speediest aid derivable from rational 
medication. This medicine is a searching and at the same 
time a thoroughly safe remedy, derived from vegetable 
sources, and possessing, in consequence of its basis of pure 
spirits, properties as a medicinal stimulant not to be found 
in the fiery local bitters and stimulants often resorted to 
by the debilitated, dyspeptic and languid. 



THE WASP. 



TheWa#p 



VOLUME XVI. 



WHOLE NUMBER, 406. 



SATURDAY, 



JANUARY 30, 1886. 



PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY AT 538 CALIFORNIA ST. BY 

THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 



Terms to Subscribers : 
One copy, one year, or 52 numbers - - - $5 00 
One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - - - 2 50 
One copy for thirteen weeks .... l 25 

Postage free to all parts of the United States, Canada 
and British Columbia. To all other countries one dollar 
per year extra. The country trade supplied by the San 
Francisco News Company. All Postmasters are authorized 
to take subscriptions for the Wasp, payable invariably in 
advance. 



[Entered at the Postoffice at San Francisco for transmission 
at Becond class rates.] 



No questionable advertisements will be inserted in this 
journal on any terms. 

The "plans and specifications" of the Sharon 
gateway have been made public. It will be a hand- 
some structure and a fitting monument of the 
testator's generosity. Then we shall have the Gar- 
field and possibly the Grant monument inside, but 
the first to catch the eye of the visitor will be the 
grand conservator of the memory of Sharon. We 
doubt the wisdom of this application of a large sum 
to such a purpose. It suggests the man who, buying 
a watch, pays for the beauty of the case, but is 
indifferent to the excellence of the works, or he who, 
building a house, instructs the architect to lavish all 
the money on the door, allowing the interior to 
remain rude and unfinished. If the park were all a 
garden, if there were no room to add to its beauty 
and completeness, then we should approve of this 
magnificent and expensive scheme. But it is not. 
The commissioners have used wisely and well the 
funds at their disposal toward the steady improve- 
ment of this public pleasure-ground. No trust has 
been better administered,' no better results attained 
with meager amounts. But there is yet so much to 
be done, so many acres of desolate sand-dunes which 
might be converted into verdant lawns and wooded 
slopes, that the expenditure of $50,000 on a gateway 
is in such direct contradiction to the record of this 
trust that we are amazed at the folly that consented 
to such a plan. The testator did not specify to what 
particular purpose this bequest was to be applied. 
It was for the improvement of the park, to be given 
to the commissioners to use to the best advantage. 
He certainly would not be selfish enough to Cogs- 
wellize that gift and under the cloak of doing the 
public a service order an imperishable monument to 
himself. The influences brought to bear on the 
commissioners to consent to this absurd misappro- 
priation must have been strong indeed, so apparent 
is the fact that the gateway scheme is a misappro- 
priation. The heirs of the late Senator should be 
satisfied with those marble tombs by which the rich 
perpetuate the memory of their dead and whose 
proper place is the cemetery. 



The gallantry of American men is proverbial. 
European travelers in this country frequently com- 
ment somewhat contemptuously upon the extreme 
deference and respect we pay our women. And of 
all portions of the continent we think California 
contains the very cream of courtesy to the gentle 
sex, the East being nothing but skim-milk by com- 
parison. At the theater, in the street-cars, on the 
sidewalks, the Californian is ever on his metaphor- 
ical knees to the ladies, Califomians are also keen 



and impartial critics of female beauty. We could 
mention about fifty men who keep watch-and- watch, 
as the sailors say, in the orchestra chairs when a 
ballet troupe is in town. Calmly and judiciously 
they scrutinize each gossamer-appareled nymph who 
floats behind the footlights. If her lines are accord- 
ing to their high standard the applause is unanimous. 
If ungraceful proportions, flabbiness or an excess of 
angularity be apparent her entrance is received in 
gloom and no gloved hand or umbrella-ferrule marks 
her exit. There is a sort of sympathetic telegraph 
among these old boys, for most of them are gliding 
down the other side of middle age toward the silent 
tomb. When the female figure is all that could be 
desired a beaming smile flashes along the line and 
their opera-glasses go up with the simultaneousness 
of a well-drilled military company. But should a 
flirt of the drapery disclose some striking imperfec- 
tion the glasses are closed with a threatening snap 
and the danseuse may dance her toes off without 
receiving a single kindly glance from those implaca- 
ble critics. From their verdict there is no appeal. 
The young bloods may grow as enthusiastic as they 
please, but the question of beauty on or off the stage 
is settled by the old gossips of the clubs. 



The extraordinary coolness of Dr: McDonald, 
whose accurate pistol brought down young Mish at 
the second shot, has been the subject of comment 
in the dailies. Beyond the killing of this most 
unfortunate young man there was nothing in the 
incident to shatter the assassin's nerves. There was 
no struggle, no pistol pointing at his body, none of 
the accessories of the ordinary shooting affray. 
Indeed so lightly did the homicide view his deed 
that he was quite put out when informed that he 
should have to be placed beliind the bars. Without 
prejudging the case the bloody annals of the city do 
not bear so cold-blooded and atrocious a murder as 
this. The victim was unarmed and of an inoffensive 
character. The slayer is a man of intelligence, of 
mature years and well aware of the relations existing 
between his wife and Mish. Dr. McDonald has 
need of all his coolness. The disagreeable predica- 
ment of standing on a trap-door with a well-greased 
rope for a collar requires a supernatural sang-froid 
to see one well through the situation, particularly 
when the road lies through that ugly square hole, 
though its length be from six to eight feet only. 
And at present it looks as if this singularly self- 
possessed assassin were destined for the above 
experience. 



Somewhat less than a decade ago Mrs. Minnie 
Myrtle Miller made a few hundred dollars and a 
reputation for smartness by a lecture on the weak- 
nesses and shortcomings of her spouse, the poet 
Joaquin. Those lectures were very witty, very 
clever, but in very bad taste. They drew no 
response from Miller. With rare wisdom he held 
his tongue and allowed his wife to trade to the 
fullest extent upon his imperfections. Possibly he 
may have thought of Lord Byron and felt flattered 
by the similarity of the incident. Now Joaquin's 
daughter, the little girl about whom some of his 
very best verses were written, acts naughtily and 
following in the maternal footsteps heartily abuses 
her papa. Miller has not shown the same wisdom 
in this case. He has written a letter and presented 
a copy of it to a newspaper. It is in a most severely 
paternal vein and does not shed any of those flowers 
of poesy around Maud's future of which Joaquin 
was so prolific when that lady was in short clothes. 
" Of course in dime museums," says Joaquin, " you 
may get work but that will not last and meanwhile 
any one who wants can call a policeman who will 
send you to State prison. As for your companion, 
the penitentiary is too good for him." This is a 



pretty rough way in which to do the "Bless you, 
my children " business. And the worst of it is there 
is such a stagnation in social scandals just now that 
the great public seizes the Miller mess with avidity 
and cannot get too much of Maud's squabbles with 
her poet papa. 



It is doubtful if our citizens generally understand 
the almost vital significance to our whole community 
of the existing movement to bring white cigarmakers 
from the East. It goes without saying that the 
imperative requisite of our future prosperity is white 
immigration of the intelligently industrious sort. 
We want more active hands and brains of the home- 
making, money- circulating kind. Let newspaper 
invitations or immigration company prospectuses be 
ever so promising they are largely discounted to the 
average Easterner by such discouraging influences 
as the recent Fresno colonization swindle and the 
Georgia fraud. The truism that nothing is more 
cautious than capital applies with even greater force 
to small capital. The sturdy mechanic with his few 
hundreds in the savings bank is naturally hesitating 
and distrustful, but every line of encouragement 
written home by his comrade who has already ven- 
tured hither is a tangible assurance upon which he 
can safely act. Therefore let every merchant think 
of his goods-laden counters as he buys his after- 
lunch cigar. Let " the butcher, the baker and the 
candlestickmaker " literally as well as figuratively 
pay their money from one pocket into another as 
they select their two-for-a-quarter Garcias or their 
three-for-a-half Regalias. Every mouthful diverted 
from the cormorant of Chinese trade does us all a 
practical and immediate good in its influence at the 
East none the less effective because so quietly trans- 
mitted. The vast importance to all our industries 
of this auspicious initial movement cannot be over- 
estimated. Let us see to it that only the newcomers' 
cigars shall end in smoke. 



Now is the time to throw a filibustering party into 
Mexico, capture the country alleging Crawford's 
death as a casus belli, lay hold of the capital, levy a 
tax on the merchants and rancheros and when all 
this is done apply to the United States Government 
for its approval. Looking along Kearny, Mont- 
gomery and Market streets any sunny day one is 
struck by the fine material for a filibustering force 
lounging idly on the sidewalks and apparently 
awaiting a call for enlistment in some service. 
Though a severe course of military drill might be 
necessary to dissipate the lazy habits that many 
have acquired of leaning against doorways and 
throwing a large portion of the weight of the body 
upon cigar and bar-counters, still when the recruits 
were thoroughly straightened out their natural fili- 
bustering instincts would be of immense assistance 
to any commander who would lead them to the 
Mexican Eden. And the city could give them an 
excellent send-off, accompanying the army to the 
ferry and offering up the sincerest hopes for its 
permanent occupation of the Mexican territory. 



Parson Newman is getting himself disliked in 
Washington. That blatant clerical has been travel- 
ing on Senator Stanford's alleged friendship and 
protesting that our California millionaire and him- 
self eat mush out of the same bowl. Newman is a 
wily barnacle of the gospel and made a bold push to 
keep his grapnels on Stanford ever since his ill- 
conceived oration over the body of young Leland. 
Like most sycophants he has now run to the end of 
his line and must confine himself to plain solid 
preaching to get along, for we don't believe Senator 
Stanford would any longer indorse his notes. The 
Senator showed his wisdom in giving the insidious; 
parson the cold shoulder. 



THE WASP. 



P RATTLE. 



The mad dog season has opened early in the East. 
It is usually coincident in point of time with the 
Now Potato, but this year the bite- wave struck New 
Jersey soon after the holidays and is now sweeping 
across the country in the direction of Texas, and 
"crowded cities wail its stroke." In Europe the 
dogs were even more forehanded than in this 
country. As early as last November the rabiometer 
in the north of France indicated a remarkable low 
pressure over a wide area, the bite-center moving 
rapidly across into Germany, followed by a great 
roller of hydrophobia that overwhelmed whole 
populations. Thence it advanced to the westward 
of Vienna, cut across to Rome and launched into 
the Mediterranean. Striking the line of commerce 
between the Suez canal and Gibraltar, it followed it 
to the latter place, the dogs of nearly every ship i 
being affected. After passing the Straits it was lost ; 
at least the meager reports from dog-carrying ships 
on the Atlantic have not permitted it to be traced ; 
and it is not known if this is the same bite-wave 
which broke upon the New Jersey coast, or if that 
had its origin in the Esquimau country, coming 
southward along the line of coastwise trade — in 
which most of the small craft carry from three to 
seven dogs each. 



In both Europe and America the results have 
been unusually disastrous, no such mortality having 
been experienced in any year since 1880. A pecu- 
liarity of the present affliction is that while Man has 
suffered more than usual, Dog has been more lightly 
touched — or, rather, while Dog has been more 
lightly touched than usual, he has more skillfully 
touched Man. A smaller quantity of dog has been 
operating, but it has bitten with uncommon dili- 
gence and assiduity, and the bites are of superior 
quality. Naturally, a good deal of thought is given 
to remedies and preventives, and one infamous mis- 
creant whose possessions lie in the route of the 
approaching desolation has gone so far as to suggest 
the starting of a back-fire, so to say, by exter- 
minating Man's best and noblest friend, the delight 
of his soul and protector of his person, his playmate 
in childhood, companion in manhood and stay in 
age — the Dog ! 



By the way, I observe that a certain Dr. Geary, 
of Oakland, keeps two large dogs at his residence 
(most Oaklanders keep three) which "do not molest 
any one who lifts his hat to them on entering the 
yard. " This is magnanimous moderation. In a 
country where dogs are kept for the sole and suffi- 
cient purpose of insulting, terrifying and injuring 
visitors and persons passing in the public highways, 
Dr. Geary's tenderness entitles him to a statue. A 
distinct advance has been made when an American 
citizen can save himself from laceration by perform- 
ing an act of deference to a dog. 



I suppose I am a crank about dogs. I have never 
to my recollection been bitten nor frightened by 
one ; but if ever I call a second time at a house 
where one has threatened me, or ever afterward 
recognize its master except to chastise him, you may 
eat me without salt. And if ever a dog takes to a 
public road to annoy me or my horse and escapes 
with its life, know all men by these presents that I 
have missed that dog. And I should like to add, 
for the purpose of a good understanding with lovers 
of dogs generally, that my desire for the distinction 
and advantage of their acquaintance — not the dogs' 
acquaintance — is a passion whose fervency is dis- 
tinctly polar. The man who after discharging upon 
himself all of his own affection that himself has the 
capacity to hold, lets any of the overflow run to 
waste upon a dog, when the world is full of women 



and children, is not, in my humble judgment, in 
the right road to heaven ; and if lie were I should 
pray that some scurvy cur might jump into that 
highway and snatch a mouthful of tendons put of his , 
lower leg. 



The following report of a preliminary examination 
in Department Thirteen of the Superior Court is 
prepared from the unofficial record. 

The Judge : Dr. McDonald, you are charged 
with having wantonly shot to death one David Mish, 
which it appears you did. Have you anything to 
say why you sin mid not be committed for trial 1 

The Prisoner : Yes, your Honor : on the night 
of the shouting one of the unfortunate young man's 
bereaved relatives said to a reporter of the Bulletin : 
"Everyone knew Dave to be such a nice young 
man. He never smoked, nor drank, nor endeavored 
to be at all fast, like many young men." Now, 
your Honor, I 

The Judge : Enough. Mr. Sheriff, let the pris- 
oner be discharged from custody. 

The Bereaved Relative (aside) : Holy Moses, 
what a miscarriage of justice ! It was not true ! 



I dreamed that I was poor and sick and sad, 

Broken in hope and weary of my life ; 
My ventures all miscarry ing— naught had 

For all my labor in the heat and strife ; 

And in my heart some certain thoughts were rife 
Of an unsummoned exit. As I lay 

Considering my bitter state, I cried : 
' Alas ! that hither I did ever stray : 

Better in some fair country to have died 
Than live in such a land, where Fortune never 
(Unless he be successful) crowns Endeavor." 

Then, even as I lamented, lo ! there came 
A troop of Presences— I knew not whence 

Nor what they were : thought cannot rightly name 
What's known through spiritual evidence, 
Reported not by gross material sense. 
' Why come ye here ? " I seemed to cry (though naught 

My sleeping tongue did utter) to the first — 
' What are ye ? — with what woful message fraught? 
Ye have a ghastly look, as ye had burst 

Some seimlcher in memory. Weird creatures, 

I'm sure I'd know ye if ye had but features." 

Some subtle organ noted the reply 

(Inaudible to ear of flesh the tone) : 
' The Finest Climate in the World am I, 

From Siskiyou to San Diego known — 

From the Sierra to the sea. The zone 
Called semi-tropical I've pulled about 

And placed it where it does most good, I trust. 
I shake my never-failing bounty out 

Alike upon the just and the unjust." 
1 That's very true," said J, "but when 'tis shaken 
My share by the unjust is ever taken." 

' Permit me," it resumed, "now to present 
My eldest son, the Champagne Atmosphere, 

And others to rebuke your discontent — 
The Mammoth Squash, Strawberry All the Year, 
The fair No Lightning— flashing only here— 

The Wholesome Earthquake and Italian Sky, 
With its Unstriking Sun ; and last, not least, 

The Compos Mentis Dog. Now, ingrate, try 
To bring a better stomach to the feast : 

When Nature makes a dance and pays the piper, 

To be unhappy is to be a viper ! " 

' Why, yet," said I, "with all your blessings fine 
(And Heaven forbid that I should speak them ill) 
I yet am poor and sick and sad. Ye shine 
With more of splendor than of heat : for still, 
Although my will is warm, my bones are chill. " 
' Then warm you with enthusiasm's blaze- 
Fortune waits not on toil," they cried ; " O then 
Join the wild chorus clamoring our praise- 
Throw up your beaver and throw down your pen ! " 
' Begone ! " I shouted. They bewent, a-smirking, 
And I, awakening, fell straight a-working. 



of the Confederate Army at Shiloh on both days of 
the battle." This is entirely false: he distinctly 
says tliat General Johnston was " first in command," 
he "second. " I had not read the article when I wrote 
the paragraph, but took the word of a theretofore 
apparently respectable local newspaper. Whenever 
I wish to tell another falsehood I'll believe another 
newspaper : whom the gods would have a liar they 
first make a fool. 



The Sharon "bequest" of fifty thousand dollars 
to the public park is to be expended in building a 
gate-way. Thank Heaven, we shall at last be able 
to get in and out without tearing our clothes in 
climbing the fence '? 



I stated in these columns the week before last 
that, " in the January North American Review 
General Beauregard affirms his supreme command 



The gate-way, by the by, is to bear the name 
"Sharon" in conspicuous letters, which is right. 
But why not, also, the names of Newlands and the 
other heirs, who are the real donors ? I'll be boiled 
in wine if the good old man ever-made any such 
bequest ! 



One cannot denounce the cold with much emphasis when 
he has a plate of fresh oranges and a bunch of violets on 
the table. — Bulletin. 

Can if he's cold. 



The fruits of the "peaceable and lawful " expulsion 
of Chinese are ripening apace : the Yellowbellies 
who were recently persuaded to take a walk out of 
Eureka have sued in the United States Court for 
$132,000, some just portion of which they will 
doubtless recover. What our people seem to forget 
is that behind every Chinaman stands a lawyer. 



With After Twenty Years poor Ciprico 
Fishes for immortality. But lo ! 
Bait, hook, line, reel and rod alike are rotten, 
And after twenty years he'll be forgotten. 



It is stated that Secretary Bayard's daughter was 
" killed by a conscientious determination to perform 
every social duty." There is no such thing as a 
"social duty." Anyone free under the law, who 
gives or attends entertainments, or makes or receives 
calls and visits, for any other reason than that it is 
a pleasure to do so performs, not an act of duty but 
an act of folly. Against this view it may be urged 
that its general adoption would level the whole 
"social" fabric to its foundation. I confess it is 
open to that objection. 



" You gave me a solemn promise," said he ; 

" Do you mean to keep it— now tell me true." 
" Can you eat your cake and have it?" said she — 

" Can I give a promise and keep it, too ? " 



The sunken section of the sea-wall has been 
rebuilt at an expense of only three per cent, above 
the estimate. This excess was caused by an unfore- 
seen rise in the price of cork jackets. The next 
section of the wall will be built on a raft. 



The author of a book on " Oakland and its Sur- 
roundings " has minutely described Berkeley and 
left out San Francisco ! There is nothing too mean 
for local jealousy to stoop to. 



Of Clerk McCarthy's bondsmen, it turns out that 
one is bankrupt and the other dead. It is " a long 
established custom " for public officials to seek 
bondsmen in places where people, seeing them 
searching, suppose theni to be secretly administering 
charity ; but this drawing upon the resources of the 
graveyard is a new tiling. Its ingenuity justifies us 
in expecting the happiest results. When I am 
elected Inspector of Orphans, if I don't have ex- 
Senator David Broderick on my bond you may boil 
me in wine. 



6 



THE WASP. 



THE DISCALFTED COW. 



From the earliest times the cow that has been 
parted from her calf has been held in great reverence 
and cherished with pious solicitude. Diodorus Sicu- 
lus tells us that among the Stulti, a numerous and 
powerful people inhabiting the northern slope of the 
Montes Johanasinorum, the " discalfted cow " (if we 
may venture to create an English equivalent to his 
Latin term) was worshiped with public honors next 
in solemnity to those accorded to Juno — a goddess 
herself distinguished in the minds of her early 
adorers by a certain cowiness of character and 
attributes. Herodotus mentions a people living in 
the valley of a river which he does not name, but 
which is without doubt the stream known to modern 
geography as Smith's Branch, who held annually a 
religious festival of which three days were devoted 
to rites and ceremonies in commemoration of a 
legendary cow that had " raised Ned," as Herodotus 
quaintly phrases it, when deprived of her calf. She 
was said, indeed, to have overrun and occupied all 
Asia Minor and to have spread as far eastward as 
the Ganges. It is thought by some that the great 
Chinese Wall was built to check her encroachment, 
but this is uncertain. From Arcuproductus we 
learn that Hypocritus Potator, the Lemnian advo- 
cate of temperance, wrote an account of the Sluni- 
gulliones, among whom he passed a period of six 
years, and whom he describes as adorers of the 
Bereaved Cow — a worship that must have com- 
mended itself to Potator's favor through its sugges- 
tion of milk, a favorite fluid with teetotalers, even 
in our day. The work of Potator is not extant. 

Now it is a very remarkable and significant cir- 
cumstance not hitherto noted in connection with 
this subject that all these three peoples severally 
mentioned by these three great writers, Diodorus, 
Herodotus and Arcuproductus, as worshipers of the 
Discalfted Cow were deaf ! Of this fact, although 
it seems to have been unobserved by, or unknown 
to, the writers named, we have abundant testimony 
in the works of others ; and it is of overwhelming 
importance in its bearing upon the question of the 
physical basis of religious belief. It seems highly 
improbable that any nation having the use of its 
ears rent free would ever worship the bos resonanta, 
although no people having a wholesome love of sus- 
tained energy, laryngeal endurance and unchange- 
able fidelity to a single note could fail to feel a 
profound respect for the species. The Assyrians 
and Egyptians, who, as appears from the develop- 
ment of ear in their sculpture, were distinguished 
for acute hearing, treated the Discalfted Cow, 
doubtless, with favor — perhaps loved her as a 
sister — but their real adoration was given to the 
bull, which the pious imagination of Assurbanipal's 
subjects endowed with wings, and which the riparian 
populations of the Nile country stabled in temples, 
the sacred animal blowing its bellows to augment the 
fervor of their zeal. To the vocal supremacy of 
the Discalfted Cow the three obscure peoples who 
worshiped at her shrine were entirely insensible ; 
their veneration must therefore have been given 
to the very least of her virtues — her faculty of 
standing in her tracks and gazing tlirough a gate for 
twenty-five hours a day. This is a noble peculiarity, 
certainly, but not nearly so striking as her power 
of song. In this respect she knocks the nightingale 
perfectly cold. She is a daughter of Stentor and 
Calliope : she is a megaphone of the top class, and 
does not require the adventitious aid of high license 
to choke off competition. When she catches the 
speaker's eye the house wakes up, and by the time 
she has finished her argument the gallery is abhorred 
by Nature. 

At a well known California milk-and-watering 
place was a famous echo which had its headquarters 
in a vertical cliff about a quarter of a mile from the 
hotel and half a mile high. This echo was the sole 
attraction of the place. ]f you stood in the right 
place and called out, "Hello!" it would reply, 
" Hello yourself and see how you like it." Hearing 
two or three words of Shakespeare or Adair Welcker, 
it would repeat them, and then, after thinking a few 
moments, go on and finish the quotation. This echo 
would answer conundrums and compute interest. 
If a dog barked it would copy the bark in a nice 
round hand and yel 1 "Sick him!" It was alto- 
gether the best all-round working echo that has ever 
been seen in California. 

Well, one day the proprietor of the hotel took a 
calf away from its mother and shut it in a field lying 
in front of the cliff. Directly in the focus of the 
echo was a point from which the field could be seen. 
Pretty soon the cow struck that spot and made a 
reconnoisance of the situation. The place seemed 



to suit her and she went into camp there, with her 
neck over the fence. Pretty soon she ventured a 
remark expressive of her sense of the situation. 
After throwing down a neighboring wagon-shed, and 
stopping a clock in the hotel, the remark went across 
to Echo Rock and being multiplied by ten and 
reinforced by the line, "Though lost to sight to 
memory dear," started on the return trip. About 
half way back it met remark number two and 
returned to the rock with it because it was the 
weaker vessel. The two were now thoroughly over- 
hauled and refitted, and being strengthened at every 
point and supported by the assertion that " absence 
makes the heart grow fonder," done in a variety of 
keys and seven languages, they set out for the 
authoress of their being, intending to paralyze her. 
They had the misfortune to encounter remark 
number three — a warble of truly cosmical energy, 
for the maternal heart had now settled down to 
steady and effective work. Just where this third 
complaint met the allied echoes of the first and 
second stood a calf, which, roused by the repeated 
summons, had managed to mount its tall uncertain 
legs to overlook the landscape and get the bearings 
of its natural provider. It was a melancholy inci- 
dent in that calf 's history. It was caught in the 
sound-waves on both sides and they nipped it flat. 
Then it spun round like a top, and joint after joint 
of its tail snapped off, like the cracker of a whip. 
Finally it was lifted in the air like a broad leaf in a 
whirlwind, and shot against the face of the cliff, 
maculating it from base to summit with a crimson 
spatter-work of minced veal. That ended the pho- 
nomachy : Mr. Echo made no further back talk but 
the bugle of the victress rang for the next forty-eight 
hours, impelling against the subdued stronghold 
successive rollers of sound, which burst against its 
eternal front in vast and thunderous confusion. 
But there was no undertow. 

Not a response has ever been got out of that rock 
since : you might as well yawp at a wet blanket on 
a clothes-line. The landlord had to alter all his 
advertisements in the city papers, the summer 
boarder steered his plumy body elsewhere to be 
defledged and the place is now a ruin, an owlery, a 
bat-ranch, a cow-blasted desolation. That is why 
we say with Diodorus Siculus that the Discalfted 
Cow is no slouch. 



AN IMMINENT CALAMITY. 



The impending war between Greece and Turkey 
will be prolific of startling incidents in San Fran- 
cisco. During the first week of hostilities nine in 
ten of our newspaper writers will discharge them- 
selves of a pun about "grease"; and before the 
reverberations have died away they will wake 
the weltering seas by exploding the other one — the 
one about "turkey." Every illustrated publication 
except this will blazon its page with a picture of the 
near future, representing the Great Powers seated 
at a table carving that edible bird. The punsters, 
hastily reloading their rusty ordnance, will fire 
again and again, reload, and so continue their 
thunderous warfare until the suffering tympana of 
two hundred thousand innocent ears are plastered 
with lard and splintered with bird-bones by the 
pitiless bombardment ; and the joyless artist will 
craze the public brain with his dismembered fowl 
until no man will dare to ring up the curtain of his 
eye. Do what Thou wilt, compassionate Heaven, 
with all the other nations of the earth, but keep the 
peace between these two. 

If e'er before thine altars we have bowed 

And, sinning in our thoughts, have prayed aloud ; 

If clasped hands we e'er did separate 

To put bad quarters in the circling plate ; 

If e'er we took the sacred bread and wine, 

Wishing so cheaply we might always dine ; 

If e'er we publicly sustained thy name, 

And braced our private swearing with the same — 

O part the Greek and Turk and stay their strokes : 

Set us to fighting, them to making jokes. 



TRAVELED THANES. 



THE FOUNTAIN EXCHANGE. 
George Schmitt has opened the Fountain Exchange, a 
beautifully furnished and decorated saloon and refreshment 
hall on the corner of Page and Stanyan, opposite the Park 
and one block from the Haight-street cars. This will be 
found a most desirable resting-place for visitors to the 
Park, or indeed for any one who may be in that neighbor- 
hood. It is hardly necessary to state that everything 
about this establishment is first-class, and that guests are 
furnished only with the best. A proof of Mr. Sehmitt's 
enterprise is the fact that he had an imposing and elegant 
arched gateway leading into the Park constructed at his 
own expense. The path to the music-stand is bordered by 
shade-trees, and in the rear of the house is ample accom- 
modation for teams, saddle-horses, etc. The Fountain 
Exchange is really a necessity in that quarter of town, and 
cannot but enjoy ample patronage, 



Every man of any distinction in California has 
traveled. The Pioneers made journeys of from 
three to twelve thousand miles to reach this El 
Dorado. These were in some respects forced marches 
and play no part in making the heroes distinguished 
in the sense used by men who have been abroad. 

Senator Jim Fair is a great traveler ; he has been 
round the world twice, seen everything, heard 
everything and knows all the sensations that can 
reach a man through eyes, ears and nerves. He 
traveled very leisurely, spent a day in Paris, two 
days between Munich and Dresden, ten hours in 
Florence and twice that number in Venice. At 
Rome he stopped from the evening of Good Friday 
until Easter Sunday morning. Nothing can be 
more instructive, entertaining and in a subdued 
sense amusing than to listen to the Senator's musical 
voice as he descants upon the gayeties of Paris, the 
schools of painting in Munich, the potteries of 
Dresden, the works of Titian and Guido in Florence 
and the bewitching sights on the grand canal at 
Venice, finished off with the solemnities of church 
festivals in Rome at Easter. With a guidebook on 
his knee the Senator is never at a loss for a name. 
He can tell to a moment when he reached Alex- 
andria, how long he stopped at Bombay and the 
time by his watch when he entered Peking. The 
charm for the listener is the speaker's evident 
enjoyment of his monologue. It is as soothing as 
syrup in a thimbleful of Jamaica. 

Joe Donohoe has traveled so much and for so 
many years that he is known amongst the Italian 
princes as Viator- Americano. If Rome had as much 
money as her priests have faith Joe would long since 
have founded a bank in the city past which the 
muddy Tiber flows. He turns his face and longing 
eyes toward the City of Seven Hills every day, he 
reads Horace every night and spends all his holidays 
in gazing at the orations of Cicero. He has a room 
at Menlo devoted to relics of Italy, pebbles picked 
up on the Apian Way, sprays of cedar plucked from 
trees that shaded the Salarian road, bronzes cast 
when Augustus was declared First Consul, heath 
gathered on the sides of smoking Vesuvius and 
fragments of lava from amongst the ashes of Hercu- 
laneum. In a beautiful press he has rare specimens 
of Italian flowers, limonia, cenanthe, apyron, lychnis, 
halichrysos, melanion and many other rare speci- 
mens only known to botanists. The owner of these 
specimens runs over the names of them as glibly as 
schoolboys reciting a page from Xenophon. What 
can be more delightful than the society of such a 
cultivated man ! 

George Duval is but a stripling in years, but as a 
traveler he is as venerable as old Rip. To flatter 
him his friends call him a sea-dog ! His love of 
water and travel by water are his most prominent 
characteristics. His yachting experiences if written 
in extenso would till more than one small volume. 
His first summer on the sea was spent aboard the 
schooner Ursula. She was registered on the list of 
the Royal Thames Yacht Club. He visited Iona, 
Skye, the Hebrides and Orkneys, then sailed down 
the Irish coast, stopped at Cork and Dublin, in the 
latter city he picked up the exquisite accent which 
has made him such a charming talker. This was in 
'73. His next trip was on the Adeona, 160-ton 
schooner of the Royal Harwich. His summer of '74 
was spent in sailing around Iceland. His private 
log of that trip reads like a chapter from the history 
of the Norsemen. The grand sights of the eternal 
summer sun, the glaciers that seem to spring from 
the water's edge and end in the clouds that hang 
over Hecla, the wild sea-birds that daily visited the 
yacht in such clouds that the man at the wheel could 
hardly see the course on the compass. Should that 
log ever get into print the world may wonder but it 
will not laugh. George made his Mediterranean 
trip on the beautiful yawl Jullanar. She then as 
now carried the colors of the Royal Yacht Squadron. 
Of Gibraltar, Marseilles, Genoa, Naples, Venice, 
Malta and Cypress the youthful thane makes but 
slight mention in his log, but when he was fairly 
amongst the isles of the Grecian archipelago his 
poetic spirit broke loose. What revels are recounted, 
what delicious frivolities in company with Hellenic 
maids. The azure water, rivaling the blue of the 
upper heavens ; rambles amongst the temples that 
Homer sung about ; drinking the wines that made 
Byron drunk ; feasting on fruits as delicate as ever 
rested upon Jove's Olympian table. That was bliss ! 
Life is possible with such surroundings ! No wonder 
after such brilliant episodes and delightful associa- 
tions that George despises yachting in the Bay of 
San Francisco. 



THE WASP. 



THE POLITICAL ALPHABET. 



A is fur Almshouse, built for tin-- fimls 
Win. served the people ;i* nobody^ tools. 

li Ls fur Ballot-box, patriot's pride ! 
It* bottom is false, but true is the slide. 

C w for Candidate. Who would suspect him 
Of being ;i rogue - Hut just you elect him I 

l> in for bevil, a patriot true; 

A Democrat he, and Republican too. 

K is for Brror. long may it* light 
Beacon the gloom .if political night. 

V is for (freedom. From sea to sea. 
Itself is tin* only thing that is free. 

G is for God — His name we*so spell, 
Hut politicians put in an 1. 

H is for Harmony, which you will Bee 
When all have their arms in the Treasury. 

1 is for Ink, which has wrecked outright 
Many a statesman's bark— and bite. 

K is for Keep. They all do it, I swear — 
Excepting a promise and pledge here and there. 

L is for liberty, — while we have that, 

Pile (»n your chains ; we will laugh and grow fat. 

M Ls for Moonshine, — sweetly it beams 
From lips expounding political schemes. 

N is for Naval appropriations 

For floating water-logged reputations. 

is for Orphans— famous, 'tis said. 
For a very superior kind of bread. 

P is for Principles. Pin your belief 

To him who holds yours, although he's a thief. 

Q is for Quorum. From very far back 
It's always consisted of one and a sack. 

R is for Revenue, and that the fruit is 
Of customs and other kinds of duties. 

S is for .Spoils —belonging to those 

Whose mouths deliver the hardest ''blows." 

T is for Toady, who stoops to the people 
And then, if elected, o'erlooks a steeple. 

U is for Union, — -preserve it, good Lord, 
As long as it and my business accord. 

V is for Vacancy, ultimate goal 
Of every patriots thrifty soul. 

W is for Warhorse, whose neigh 
Is most uncommonly like a bray. 

X we've no word for ; it stands for Ten, 
The price of votes among honest 'men. 

V is for Yahoo, the average man, 

Who owns the White House and sleeps where he can. 

Z is for Zeal in serving the nation 
By getting a local appropriation. 



WHERE THE TROUBLE IS. 



The popular idea lias long prevailed that the first 
year of married life is apt to be the most beset with 
rocks and shoals, and that couples who get through 
this probation successfully are pretty sure to cleave 
to one another for the rest of the journey — very 
much as the sound steamers, having once passed 
Hell Gate safely, hnd open water all the way to 
Stonington or Fall river. The idea certainly looks 
plausible, for why should not the pair of doting 
lovers who were finally married on the invincible 
conviction that the man had secured an angel and 
the woman a liero be thrown into quite "a state of 
mind" on the latter finding how the angel can lose 
her temper and actually sulk, or how very unheroic 
the hero can show himself when the oatmeal porridge 
comes on to the breakfast table burned ? It is in 
thoBe days of high wrought expectancy, the popular 
impression runs, that the blight of disappointment 
is felt most keenly, and that such couples as are un- 
fortunate enough to own a copy of Every One His 
Oion Lawyer are secretly found conning its pages, 
and dwelling most lingeringly on the section headed 
" Law of Divorce. " Alas ! how futile a priori theo- 
ries are ; how apt to come to grief when they run 
bolt against statistics ! So far from the tabulated 
columns of domestic infelicities showing that the 



Bret year of married life is ever the squally season, 

tiiey prove overwhelmingly that only about the tenth 
year does the regular line-storm come and the shore 
get strewn with marital wrecks. 

Surely a little reflection ought to have convinced 
any thoughtful man of the probability of this, with- 
out resort to statistics. An attractive young lady 
can get into a pet a good many times and still retain 
charm enough to seem very adorable. A handsome ' 
fellow of a husband, too, can long remain a joy, ] 
pride and triumph to a young wife's heart, even 
through many an exhibition of lack of dignity and 
chivalrous devotion. The tug of war comes when 
the couple have become thoroughly used to one 
another, and seemingly offer no new spices of vari- 
ety ; when each can monotonously predict of the 
other, with all the accuracy of an astronomer calcu- 
lating a comet or an eclipse, just what he or she will 
eternally think, say or do. Now it is all well en- | 
ough for eclipses or comets to come to time. It is 
as much their nature to as that of dogs to delight to 
bark at night. Navigators and almanac-makers 
would be put out if they did not, and city clocks 
would be of no more use than boys' pewter toy i 
watches. But of all the aggravations of life, few 
are so exasperating as the man or woman who can , 
always be relied on to come to time with the same 
old story, same old headache, same old complaint. 
Ah ! if, by way of change, it were only for once 
acute colic instead of chronic headache ! And just 
here comes in the real rock upon which so many 
marriages split. Nature abhors monotony, nature 
cries out for variety, and will have it by hook or by 
crook, by fair means or by foul. Even if people 
must have tantrums, they can at least indulge in a 
variety of tantrums, so that you can never be sure 
beforehand which species will crop out. Then there 
is at least something fresh and piquant to be on the 
lookout for. Naturally and rationally a man who 
has married one woman of 20, wants to many an- 
other of 40, and another of 50, and to live happily 
with each. 

Not that any Mormon doctrine is advocated here. 
The wife maybe the same identical woman every 
time, only with a good deal of addition to her at 
each decade. Indeed, the only monogamy that is 
utterly intolerable is that in which the husband or 
wife thinks to be " married for life " on the strength 
of the sole physical, mental and moral capital that 
originally stood up in the bridegroom's patent-leath- 
ers or the bride's satin slippers at the wedding 
ceremony. Polygamy with one wife, then, is an 
institution that has its legitimate claims. Every 
man in mature years ought to be able to look back 
upon a beautiful series of wedded unions, first with 
a blooming, light-hearted young creature, taking life 
on trust ; then with an earnest, devoted mother ; 
then with a sorrowing, heaven- aspiring being who 
has stood with him at the graves of children ; then 
with a strong sustaining helpmate whose higher 
courage supported him when the day of reverses 
came. It is because such numbers of men and wo- 
men do not grow larger and richer, and so meet one 
another as fresh, new gifts of heaven, when life's 
various vicissitudes open up, stale, flat and unprofit- 
able to one another. This explains the meaning of 
the line-storm that, as statistics show, prevails so 
disastrously about the tenth year of married life, 
when the monotony of living with a husband who is 
the same old story he was at the start, or a wife who 
is the same long, worn-out grind-organ tune, with- 
out a variation, grows utterly intolerable, and the 
two fly asunder for a breath of relief .— Boston 
Herald. 



A Boston girl, and a bright one too, was recently 
introduced to Lieutenant Danenhower and in her 
confusion could find nothing to say but " 1 suppose 
you found it very cold at the North pole." — Boston. J 
Home Journal. 

A young lady admitted to her mother that her : 
beau had kissed heron the cheek. "And what did ] 
you do? " asked the old lady in a tone of indignation, i 
"Mother," said the young lady, "I cannot tell a I 
lie, I turned the other cheek." — Ceda/r Rapids* 



"IF." 

"Stand back, gentlemen! Clear the track!" 
shouted thu police, and as the quickly-gathering 
crowd surged Wk Steamer No. 4 came up the 
street, the magnificent black horses striking fire from 
Hie pavement. 

But hold ! A wheel comes off ! The steamer is 
overturned, and the brave firemen are picked up 
bleeding and senseless ! 

An investigation revealed the fact tliat in oiling 
the steamer that morning the steward had neglected 
to put in the linch-pin. A little neglect on his part 
had caused a loss of a half million dollars. The 
busy marts of trade are full of men who are making 
the same fatal mistake. They neglect their kidneys, 
thinking they need no attention, whereas if they 
made occasional use of Warner's Safe Cure they 
would item- say that they don't feel quite well ; that 
a tired feeling bethel's them ; that they are plagued 
with indigestion ; that their brain refuses to respond 
at call ; that their nerves are all unstrung. — Fire 
Journal. 

Oscar Wilde declares that he can see angels where 
other men see only flesh and blood. A slaughter- 
house must look like Heaven to him then. — Lowell 
Citizen. 



KEANE BROS. 



PERFECT GOOD FAITH KEPT WITH THE PUBLIC ! 

Everything goes just as claimed, and the 

reMtilt is a steady stream of 

delighted pure hasers. 



NO SUCH vau;e IN THE CITY FOB 

A HUNDRED CENTS 

as at 

KEANE BROS. 

107, 109, 111, 113 & 115 
KEARNY ST. 

Country Orders promptly attended to. 

In remitting money our customers are re- 
speetfully requested to use the new Express 
Money Orders of Messrs. Wells, Fargo A. Co. 



CATARRH, CATARRHAL DEAFNESS 
HAY FEVER. 

A new treatment has been discovered whereby a per- 
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lutely effected in from one to three applications, no 
matter whether standing one year or forty years. This 
remedy is only applied once in twelve days and does not 
interfere with business. Descriptive pamphlet sent free 
on receipt of stamp, by A. H. Dixon & Son, 305 King- 
street west, Toronto, Canada. 



EXTRACT-'BEEF 



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10 



THE WASP, 



TUTTS 
PILLS 



25 Y EARS IN USE. 

The Greatest Medical Triump h of the Age! 
SYMPTOMS OF A 

TORPID LIVER. 

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back part* Fain T nder the shoulder- 
blade. Fullness after eatinc, with a dis- 
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Irritability of temper, Low spirits, with 
a feeling of having neglected lome duty, 
Weariness, Dizziness, Fluttering at the 
Heart, Dota before the eyes, Headache 
over the Tight eye, Restlessness, with 
fitful dreams, Highly colored Urine, and 

CONSTIPATION. 

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PRECEPTS AT PARTING. 



PURE OLD TENNESSEE 




WHITE RYE WHISKY. 



A. FENKHAUSEN & GO. 



Well, son, so you's gwine for to leal) us, your lubbin' ol : 

mammy an' me, 
And set you'se'f up as a waiter aboa'd ob de Robbut E. 

Lee, 
Along wid dem fancy young niggers what's 'shamed for to J 

look at a hoe, 
And acts like a passel ob rich folks, when dey isn't got I 

nuffin' to show. 

i You's had better trainirr dim dey has — I hopes 'at you 11 

'zibit more sense ; 
Sech niggers is like a young rooster, a-sefetin' up top ob a 

fence ; 
; He keeps on a-stretcliiir and crowin', and while. he's 

a-blowin' his horn 
; Dem chickens what ain't arter fussin' is pickin' up all ob 

de corn. 

i Now listen, and mirv what I tell you, and don't you forgit 
* what I say ; 
Take advice ob a 'sperienced pusson, and you'll git up de 
ladder an 1 stay : 
! Who knows? You mought git to be pres'dent, or jestice, 

perhaps, ob de peace — 
! De man what keeps pullin' de grape-vine shakes down a 
few bunches at leas'. 

! Dem niggers what runs on de ribber is mosly a mighty 

sharp set ; 
j Dey'd tin' out some way for to beat you, if yon bet 'em 
de. water wuz wet ; 
You's got to watch out for dem fellows— dey'd cheat off 

de horns ob a cow — 
I knows 'em— I fullered de ribber 'fore ebber I fullered de 
plow. 

You'll easy git 'long wid de white folks —-de cappen and 

steward and clerks — 
Dey won't say a word to a nigger, as long as dey notice he 

works ; 
And work is de onlies' ingine we's any 'casion to tote 
To keep us gwine on t'roo de currents dat pesters de 

spirichul boat. 

I heered dat idea from a preacher — he lowed 'at die life 

wuz a stream, 
And ebery one's soul wuz a packet dat run wid a full head 

ob steam ; 
Dat some ob 'em's only stern-wheelers, while oders wuz 

mons'ously fine — 
And de trip wuz made safes' an' quickes' by boats ob de 

Mefodis' line. 

I wants you, my son, to be 'tie'lar, and 'sociate only wid 

dey 
Dat's 'titled to go in de cabin — don't nebber hab nuffin' 

to say 
To dem low-minded roustabout niggers what han'les de 

cotton below — 
Dem eommon brack rascals ain't titten' for no cabin-waiter 

to know. 

But nebber git aii-y— be 'spectful to all de white people 

you see, 
And nebber go back on de raisin' you's had from your 

mammy an' me. 
It's hard on your mudder your leabin' — I don' know 

whateber she'll do ; 
And shorely your faderll miss you — 111 alluz be thinkin' 

ob you 

Well, now, I's done toT you my say-so — dar ain't nuffin' 

more as I knows — 
'Cept dis : don't you nebber come back, sah, widout you 

has money an' clo'es. 
I's kep' you as long as I's gwine to, and now you an' me 

we is done — 
And calves is too skace in dis country to kill for a Prodigal 

Hon. 



414 FRONT ST. 



San Francisco, Cal. 




Capital, Paid in Full, 

$200,000 oo 

Assets Dec. SI, 1885, 

$456,840 71 

LOSSBS PAII> 

Since Company Organized, 

$1,346,670 46 

PRINCIPAL OFFICE, 

4 3ft California, St., 

(Safe Deposit Building) S. F. 

President 
Secretary 



JOHN H. WISE, - 
CHAS. A. LATON, 



AGrAII*' B> 11IE FltHLtt! 

CRUSHED INDIAN 

FOR BREAKFAST. 

JOHN T. CUTTING & Co., Sole Agents. 



Yesterday evening passengers noticed a woman 
standing on the corner of Congress avenue. She 
wore an old sun-bonnet and her dress indicated ad- 
versity. A gentleman moved by the spirit of charity, 
approached her and asked : 

"Are you alone?" 

' ' Yes. " 

"In distress 1 ? " 

"Yes." 

" Have you applied to the authorities '( " 

"Yes." 

" Won't they help you ? " 

" The Chief of Police says he will do all he can to 
assist me." 

" Have you a family 1 " 

"Yes." 

"Where?" 

" Arkansaw. " 

" How long have you been in Austin ? " 

" Got here this afternoon." 

" What is the nature of your distress 1 " 

" Why, a confounded feller down in Arkansaw 
fooled my daughter, stole my mule and came to this 
town. I don't mind his foolin' Riah so much, but 
the thought that he's got that mule goes through 
me like a damin' needle." 

The man let a nickel fall back into Iris pocket and 
strolled away.— Texas Siftitigs. 



Jl -X- Xj 

NEW GOODS. 



For diarnien t s or a complete Suit of Clothes, 
something in the line of Underwear, Over- 
wear, White or Colored Shirts, Collars, Cuffs, 
Weelovt-ar, Footwear or Headgear, Camping 
Outfits of any kind, or, in fact, anything in 
the line of Outfits for Men. Youths, Boys or 
Children, no matter what, we can furnish it, 
and give you a stock REPR ESENT1 XU A 
<H AKTIJt OF A MIMjIOX DOLLARS TO 
SELECT FROM. 



GREAT 



I X L 

924 TO 932 MARKET ST. 



J-:.- The Largest Establishment in its Line 
in the United States. 

PRICE LIST Sent Free on Applieation. 

GOLDBERG, BOWEN & GO. 

THE LEADING GROCERS, 
428 TO 432 PINE ST., S. F. 

IIAVK THE 

LARGEST STOCK. 

ER I '.S 1 1 EST « i <H > I>S. 

GREATEST VARIETY, 

LOWEST PRICES, and 

PROMPTEST DELIVERY 

Of any Grocery Establishment on the Paeifle 
Coast. 

COUNTRY ORDERS RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION. 

Send for Catalogue of Prices. tienerol Re- 
duction in Prices. 

Telephone No. 1. 

NOW IS THE TIME 

TO SrBSCRIBF, FOR 

THE WASP. 

IT IS THE ONLY 

CARTOON PAPER PUBLISHED WEST OF THE ROCKY 
MOUNTAINS, 

And no Expense will be spared to ma'ie it tho most interesting 
and popular publii ation of the day. 

Its Cartoons are always :i prominent feature, 

Illustrating all that is Eventful and Topical in National and Local 
happenings. The Letterpress will be up to its usual high standard. 

terms of subscriptions f | *"»*■ ;;;:;;;;;;;; ; s ^ 

Payable m Advance : | I2 Months .... 6 oo 

Remit bv Postal Order or Cheek. 



THE WASP. 



tl 




and Ocean Railroad are perfectly adapted to the rapid and 
comfortable transportation of the immense crowds, and it 
has frequently happened that MO.OoO passengers have been 
carried by it on a Bingle Sunday. The outlying attractions 
at the ocean beach also draw an immense attendance, 
notably the new Japanese Daylight Fireworks novelty. 
These unique creations of Oriental pyrotechnic skill need 
only the background of the blue to display their extraor- 
dinary combinations of fiery dragons, writhing serpents 

an. I other luminously terrible" aerial monsters. The display 
to-morrow will be startlingly interesting, and those who 
wish to obtain the vantage-ground uecessarytoagood view 
hail better make an early start for the beach. 



The local taste for the spectacular when (.lone on an 
ambitious scale hardly seems to be satiated as yet, as the 
crowded houses accorded the Kiralfys in their fifth week 
at the California amply testifies. The continuously large 
patronage given the extended engagement of a single troupe 
evinces that the influence of the prevailing bard times does 
not extend to the theaters, and notwithstanding the dis- 
couraging weather Manager Hayman has substantial rea- 
sons to be happy over the outcome of his ventures. With 
to-day's matinee and to-night's performance the run of the 
Black Crook will end. On Sunday evening a dress rehearsal 
of Sieba, the new spectacle, will be given to which the 
public will be admitted at regular rates. The preparations 
for the new piece have been unusually elaborate and ex- 
pensive, four entirely new ballets, a battle scene and 
military tableaux will be presented, and the Kiralfys seem 
confident that it will conclude their phenomenal engage- 
ment in a still greater blaze of scenic and terpsichorean 
glory. 

On Monday next the illustrious Salvini will make his 
first appearance before our public at the Baldwin, and the 
houses are already largely sold for this red-letter event in 
the history of our local stage. It is a matter of general 
congratulation that our theater-goers have at last an op- 
portunity of beholding the great artist who so modestly 
wears the undisputed title of "the foremost tragedian of 
all time. " The order of performances for the first week 
will be: Monday, Outlaw; Tuesday, Othello; Thursday, 
Gladiator; Friday, Outlaw; Saturday matinee, Othello; 
"Wednesday and Saturday evenings, Duke's Motto, with 
Salvini 's son as "Lagadere." 

The change of bill at the Bush during this week, the final 
one of the Harrison engagement, has resulted in an increase 
of business notwithstanding the adverse efforts of the clerk 
of the weather. In addition to two acts of Hot Water the 
exquisite comedietta of Two can Play at that Game was 
produced, giving Mr. Charles S. Dickson a legitimate op- 
portunity to display his capabilities, and of which he took 
advantage in a manner that both surprised and delighted 
his audience beyond measure. Mr. Dickson has been 
frequently compared to Mr. John Drew in the quiet and 
refined "society" finish of his acting, but in the part of 
" Howard " he certainly displays, where required, an added 
fire and abandon unknown to Mr. Drew's precise method. 
It is a pity our local stage does not possess a light high 
comedian of Mr. Dickson stamp. An exceptionally attrac- 
tive feature of the new bill is the same artist's recitation 
of a new poem, by Mr. Frank H. Gassaway, entitled 
"Advance ! " which is enthusiastically received, as well as 
some clever verses given as an encore called "So Was I." 
Editha's Burglar, a charming dramatization of Mrs. Bur- 
nett's little story, was added later in the week and achieved 
an instant success. To-day's matinee and this and to- 
morrow evenings' performance concludes the engagement 
of Alice Harrison's troupe of merrymakers, which, however, 
are always sure of a hearty welcome at their next advent 
in our midst. On Monday George M, Ciprico's new play 
of Twenty Years After, with De Belleville and Miss Morris 
in the leading roles, will take the boards at this theater. 

In these days of the "slow sixpence," as the New York 
Times puts it, a really first-class variety theater where the 
attendant expense is as small as the merit of the perform- 
ance is great is indeed a public boon. The Fountain 
Theater, corner Sutter and Kearny, fills this requirement 
to a nicety, and its central location renders it just the place 
to drop into at any hour of the evening and enjoy a clever 
performance, backed by a social glass of good beer. Man- 
ager Schmitt contrives to present a continuous list of fresh 
variety attractions as agreeable to his patrons as it is sur- 
prising to his less enterprising competitors in the business. 
This week the Pearl and Cassidy team have made a pro- 
nounced hit, and the eccentric minstrel comedian, William 
Fletcher, further demonstrates his popularity in a new 
sketch. The clever couple, Chas. T. Ellis and Clara Moore, 
and a host of other specialty performers make up the en- 
joyable entertainment. On Monday next the late Eastern 
success and musical wonder, S. G. Beasley, will make his 
first appearance in this city. 

The constantly growing popularity of the Park as a 
Sunday resort has been greatly increased of late by the 
really admirable concerts of the band, which is now as 
complete and artistic an organization as the famous one 
of Central Park, New York. The facilities of the Park 



THRIFT AND HUMOR. 



"I dreamed that Greece might still be free," and now 
there's a corner in lard, but there is no corner in those 
admirable photographs turned out at Bradley & Rulof son's 
Gallery. 

An ex-Baptist minister drowned himself near Indian- 
apolis the other day. Even a Baptist may get too much 
water sometimes, it appears, but no man who wishes to 
live long in the laud can drink too much of Philadelphia 
Beer, the beat in the market. 

What this country needs now is fewer lays of the poet 
and more lays of the hen, and those who want to borrow 
money will be accommodated by Uncle Jacobs, (513 Pacific 

street. 

A Chicago man has invented a new and improved gal- 
lows. Of course every town knows what class of machinery 
it needs most, and S. J. Pembrooke, watchmaker and 
jeweler, 212 O'Farrell street, near Powell, will repair your 
watch or clock and make it as good as new. 

It's an unromantic fact that the waistcoat which covers 
the "heart of refined gold," often has & pinchbeck watch in 
its pocket ; and it is also a fact that carpets are cleaned and 
relayed in one day by A. H. Baldwin of the San Francisco 
Carpet Beating Machine, 1321 and 1323 Market street. 

An Ohio minister name Soonover gets the biggest salary 
and has the largest congregation of any church in that 
State. His popularity is probably due to the fact that be 
applies his cognomen to his sermons, while Taber's popu- 
larity is justly earned by the artistic excellence of his 
pictures. 

A one-legged man will never be troubled with wet feet, 
and the man who drinks Tolenas Springs Soda will never 
know indigestion. 

The hen may be negligent of her duties during the winter 
weather, but she generally manages to come up to the 
scratch in time of spring gardening ; but the lady who is 
furnished with a New Home Sewing Machine will never 
cease eulogizing the delights of industry. 

The pastryman is a tart individual, but Manning's 
oysters in stew, roast or fried are delicious as the honey of 
Hybla. 

The man who said Dr. Mary Walker woidd look well 
wheeling a baby-carriage does not drink A. Finke's widow 
California champagne, Carte Blanche or Imperial Cabinet. 
If he did he would know better. 

It is related of a famous cook that he prepared fish so 
exquisitely that they returned him admiring and grateful 
looks from the frying-pan, just as the oysters do at 
Moraghan's in the California Market when they are being 
cooked for the epicurean guest. 

" Vanderbilt's tomb is to be watched during the winter 
by four detectives." This is probably the surest way to 
discover the whereabouts of Mr. Vanderbilt. The where- 
abouts of J. W. Evans, sole agent for the light running 
Domestic Sewing Machine is 29 Post street. 

Young Agricola wants to know whether it" would be 
wrong to raise a crop of old rye. Nothing wrong in raising 
old rye, so long as you are careful not to raise it to the 
level of your lips. And if you want a tooth raised from 
your jaw or filled go to C. 0. Dean, D. D. S., 120 Kearny 
street (Thurlow block). 

Mr. Otto Normann, 411 Push street, is the sole agent for 
Lemp's St. Louis beer for the Pacific Coast. 

The "house that Jack built" has nothing to do with 
Chas. I. Havens' fine architectural designs. Those wish- 
ing a good architect should call on Havens, 121 Post street, 
over O'Connor, Moffatt & Go's store. 

It's a "wet day " when Barr & Son gets left. Buy an 
umbrella at their stores, 323 Bush and 932 M arket street. 

It is not true that Menzo Spring, the artificial leg-maker, 
9 Geary street, is making legs for an Eastern ballet troupe. 
He sticks to his regular business. 

"Music hath charms to soothe the savage, " etc. If that 
is so, buy a Bechstein piano of A. Waldteufel, 737 Market 
street. 

It won't make your head ache if you drink Veuve 
Clicquot (yellow label) Champagne. A. Vignier, sole 
agent, 429 and 431 Battery street. 

To get a "good belting" go to A. 0. Cook & Son's, 415 
Market street. 

If you have furniture or goods to store, in a nice, clean 
warehouse, call on Col. Booney, 722 Mission street. 

The Jarvis Brandy is the purest and best. Ask your 
druggist for it. 

The Auzerais House has always enjoyed the credit of 
being San Jose's leading hotel, and of its proprietor, D. M. 
Smith, it may be truthfully said that what he doesn't know 



aboul 'I"' busini SB might be crammed through the eye of a 
needle without impairing the utility of the demeetic imple- 
ment. Mr. Smith has lived in San Jose since I860, and 
every man, woman and child in that city knows Smith. 
He was the first hackman in San .lose to engage in the 
hotel business, and he brought to the Auzerais Bouse the 
first guests that ever crossed its threshold. He has been 
connected with it in some capacity ever since it opened 
twenty years ago. When he took 'the house Dec. 1, L885, 
there were but six monthly roomers, and in fifteen days he 
had it half full. He keeps the best half for transient guests, 
has tine sample rooms f. .r commercial men, a pleasant read- 
ing room, and the Auzerais is in every respect a good, quiet 
house for the public. It is run on the European plan, and 
:ls Mr. Smith runs it, Victoria herself might put up there 
and still believe she was enjoying the luxuries of Windsor 
Castle. 

That the rain descends alike on the just and the unjust 
is probably owing to the fact that a good many of the latter 
are still outside of the penitentiary. However, the fore- 
going, though a truism, has nothing to do with the fact 
that Charles Edelman's cigar-store, under the Truesdell 
House, is the place to get a real fine cigar. Mr. Edelman 
was clerk in the office of the Chief of Police for six. years, 
and is one of our best known citizens. His store at the 
junction of Market, Mason and Turk streets is one of the 
handsomest in the city. 

A poetic tribute in our advertising columns shows the 
appreciation of Drs. Darrin in healing the sick. We 
respectfully commend our readers to peruse it carefully. 



A 



DIRECTORY OF THE BEST 

HOTELS AND WATERING PLACES 

ON THE PACIFIC COAST. 



AUZERAIS HOUSE, SAN JOSE, CAL. FIRST- 
class ; European plan. Rooms 30c. to §2 per night, 
§5 to !i>35 per month Finest Sample Rooms in the 
city. P. M. SMITH, Proprietor. 



B 



YRON SPRINGS, 24 MILES FROM BYRON 
Station, on C. P. R. R. Climate perfection. Hot 
sulphur mud haths. Try them. 



10NGRESS SPRINGS (SANTA CLARA COUN- 
. ty). Take 8:30 A. M. and 2:30 P. M. S. P. C. R. R. to 
* Los Gatos. W. H. STEDMAN, Proprietor. 



E 



L PASO DE ROBLES HOT & COLD SULPHUR 
Springs. Rheumatism, Scrofula and Skin diseases 
positively cured, as hundreds can testify. 



I 



OLDEN EAGLE HOTEL, 7th & J STREETS, 
Sacramento, Cal. First-class. 'Bus at every train. 
W. O. (JOE) BOWERS, Proprietor. 

IGHLAND SPRINGS (25 SPRINGS), LAKE CO., 
Cal. Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Malaria, and 
Kidney, Bladder, Liver and Dyspeptic diseases. 
C. M. BATES, Proprietor. 

INTERNATIONAL HOTEL, EUREKA, NEVADA. 
Three-story brick, fireproof. Suits of Rooms for 
Families and Commercial Travelers. 



H 



INTERNATIONAL HOTEL, 320 TO 326 K ST., 
Sacramento, Cal. The Leading Business and Family 
Hotel. Board and room SI and §1.25 per day; board 
§4 per week. Free "bus to and from hotel. - 

W. A. CASWELL, Proprietor. 



K 



ENT'S NEWLAND HOUSE, CORNER 7th AND 
Washington streets, Oakland, Cal. Choice Rooms, 
by the Day, Week or Month, 



ILLARD HOUSE, DAVISVILLE, YOLO CO., 
I Cal. New and well furnished. Terms reasonable. 
* 20 minutes for lunch or dinner while changing cars. 
J. T. LILLARD, Proprietor. 



M 



AGNOLIA HOTEL, CALISTOGA, CALIFOR- 
nia. Terms reasonable. Solid comfort at this 
house. J. A. CHESEBORO, Proprietor. 



N 



•APA SODA SPRINGS. OPEN ALL THE 
year round. Hot and Cold Napa Soda Baths. 
Billiards, Bar and Ten Pins. 
JACKSON & WOOSTER, Proprietors. 



\ACIFIC HOTEL, 5th & K STS., SACRAMENTO, 
* Cal. Best Family Hotel in the city; centrally located; 

street-cai-s pass door every 5 minutes. Meals 25c, 
MRS.' C. F. SINGLETON, Proprietress. 

\ALACE HOTEL, UKIAH, CAL. SPLENDID 
' New Brick Building. General Stage House. 

W. A. HAGANS, Proprietor. 



PARAISO SPRINGS. CAPTAIN FOSTER, FOR- 
merly of the " Cliff House," proprietor. Will be re- 
fitted and r efurnished for this season's business. 

HOADS & TOWNSEND HOUSE, COR. 2d &J 
streets, Sacramento, Cal. Sample Rooms for Com- 
mercial men. Choice wines and liquors. Pleasant 
rooms in suite or single. 

STATE HOUSE, COR. K & 10th STS., SACRA- 
mento, Call Board §4 per week. Single rooms 50c, 
family rooms $1 to $2.50, board with lodging SB to ®12 
per week. Free 'bus to and from hotel. 
CHAS. H. JENKINS, Proprietor. 

T. JAMES HOTEL, SAN JOSE, CAL. FIRST- 
class in every respect. American plan : §2 to 82. 50 per 
day. Coach at depot. TYLER BEACH, Prop. 

1RUCKEE HOTEL, TRUCKEE, CAL. C. P. R. 
R. Passenger Depot and General Stage office. Good 
■ meals, reasonable prices and prompt attention. 

STEWART McKAY, Proprietor. 



S 



12 



THE WASP. 



SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

Trains leave, and are clue to arrive at 

Oakland Ferry, fool of Market M , 

MAN FKANClsCO. 



LEAVB 

(for) 


From Oct. 13. 1S85 


AKRIVB 

(fromj 


+8.00 A. 


..Byron 


J6.10 p. 


B.00A 




"10.10 a. 


•4.00 p. 


" " " ,. 


6.10 p. 


7.30 a. 




6.40 p. 


7.30 a. 


. . Delta, Redding and Port anc 


6.40 p. 


*3.30 P. 


..Gait, via Martinez 


*10.40 A. 


8.00 A. 


. .lone, via Livermore 


5.40 P. 


4.00 p. 


. . Knight's Landing 


10.10 A. 


*6.00 P. 


..Livermore and Pleasanton. 


"8.40 A. 














3.30 p. 


) Mojave, Deming ( Expre-s 
JTElPusoand riast \ limigranl 


10.40 A. 


3.30 P. 


10.10 a. 


10.00 A. 


. .Wiles and Hayward's. 


3.40 P. 


3.00 P. 


> Ogden and fc.ast J Express 
J " " " \ Emigrant 


11.10a. 


3.00 P. 


11.10 A. 


7.30 a. 


. .Red Bluff, via Ma.ysville. . . 


5.40 P. 


8.00 A. 


. .Sacramento, v;a Livermore 


5.40 P. 


7.30 a. 


" via Benicia. .. 


6.40 P. 


3 OOP 


" via i-enicia. .. 


11.10 A. 


4.00 p. 


" via Benicia. .. 


10.10 A. 


"4.00 p. 


..Sacramento Kiver steamers 


"6.00 A. 


8.00 A. 




■•3.40 P. 


HO. 00 A. 
3.00 P. 




J 3. 40 p. 
9.40 A. 


<< 


8.00 a 


..Stockton, via Livermore. .. 


6.40 P. 


*9.30a. 


" vi.i Mtrtiuez 


'7.10 P. 


*3.30 p. 


" via Martinez.. .. 


'10.40 A. 


*9.30 a. 


. .Tulare and Fresno 


*7.10 P. 



A for morning. 



P for afternoon. 



From «!ia Francisco, daily. 

To EAST OAKLAND— *6.00, "6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 
8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30, 
12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00. 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, S.00 6.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 3.00, 9.00, 
10.00, 11.00, -12.00. 

To FRUIT VALE— '6.00, '6.30, '7.00, "7.30,*S.00, 
•8.30, >3.30, *4.00, "4.30, *5.00, "5.30, "6.00, 
"6.30, 9.00. 

ToFKUITVALE (via Alameda)— '9.30, 6.30, 
{11.00, "12.00 

To ALAMEDA "6.00 '6.30, 7.00 -7.30, 8.00, 
"8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, {10.30, 11.00, {11.30, 
12.00, {12.30, 1.00, {1.30 2.00, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 
4.30, 5,00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, /.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 
11.00, "12.00. 

To BSKKELEY -'6.00, "6.30 7.00, "7.30,8.00, 
"8.30, 9.00, (9.30, 10.00, {10.30, 11.00, (11.30, 
12.00. 1.00, 2.O0, 3.00, 4.00, 4.30 5.00,5.30,6.00. 
6.30, 7.00, 8.00 y.Oil, 10.00, 11.00 "12.00. 

To WKST BKuK LE v —"6.00, "6.30, 7.00, "7.30, 
(8.00, "8.30, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00, (1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 
4.00, *4.3l), 6.00, "5.30, 6.0J, "6. lO, 7.00. 

To *an Francisco, daily. 

From FRUIT VALE -"6.23, "6.f3, "7.23, "7.53, 
"8.23, -8.1-3, "9.23, "10.21, *4.23, "4.63, "5.23, 
*5.63, *6.23, "6.53, 7.25, 9.1 0. 

From FRUIT VALE (via Alameda) -"6.16, "5.4S 
16.45, {9.15, "3.15. 

From E ST OAKLAND-*5.30, *6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 
7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 
11.30, 12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 
3.30, 4.00, 4.30, 6.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.57, 
8.57, 9.57, 10.57. 

From BRO\DWAY, Oakland— 7 minutes later 
than from East Oakland. 

From ALAMEDA -*5.22, "5.52, *6.22, 6.52, »7.22, 
7.52, "8.22. 8.52, 9.22, 9.5!, {10.22, 10.52, (11.22, 
11.52, {12.22, 12.62. (1.22, 1.52, 2.52, 3.22, 3.52, 
4.22, 4.52, 5.22 5.52, 6.22, 6.52, 7.52, 8.52,9.52, 
10.52. 

From BERKELEY -*5.15, *5.45, "6.15, 6.4i, 
*7.15, 7.4f>,*S.16, 8.45, (9.15,9.45 (10.15, 10.45, 
(11.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.45, 2.46, 3.45, 4.15, 4.45, 
5.15, 5.45, 6.15, 6.45, 7.45, 8.45, 9.45, 10.45. 

From WILST BERKELEY *5.45, *6.15, 6.45, 
"7.15, 7.45, 8.45, (9.15, 9.45, 10.45, (12.45, 1.45, 
2.45, 3.45, 4.45, "5.15, 6.45, "6.15, 6.45, "7.15. 

'! I'lTli IE lllr. 
From SAN FRANCISCO— *7.15, 9.15, 11.16, 1.15, 

From OAKLAND -»6.15, 8.15, 10.15, 12.15, 2.15, 
4.15. 



* Sundays excepted ( Sundays only. 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co., S.F. 



A. N. TOW.\E, T. H. GOODMAN, 

Gen. Manager. Gen. Pass. & Tkt. ?*gt. 



AGENTS WANTED. 

Patent Amateur Vise. The 
neatest and handiest little tool 
I out. Needed by everyone. No 
talking is necessary. The Vise 
sells itself, and they go like 
"hot cakes." Sample and Agents' Prices post- 
paid on receipt of 50c. L. H. MOISE, Sole 
Agent, 320 Sansoiue street, room 35, S. F. 




Afl J"fi IT/" Send six cents for post- 
IJ §J 1 # &■ age, and receive free, a 
:C SI I # 1 costlv box of goods which 
I IIILV. ( will help all.of either sex, 
to more money right away than anything else in 
this world. Fortunes await the workers abso- 
lutely sure. Terms mailed free. TRUE & CO. , 
Augusta, Maine. 



DIP OCCCD ^° introduce them, we 
Dill UrrLn. will give away 1000 

1 Self-Operating Washing Machines. If you want 
'one send us your name, P.O. and express office 

at once. The Nat ion a I Co., 33 I>cy St. 

Htfew York. 



M/flRIf 1 ' OK AliJL. SS30 a week and e.\ 

If Ufl IV penses paid. Outfit worth So and par- 
ticulars free. P. O. VICKERY, Augusta, Maine. 



Northern Division 

SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 



I IMF. SCHEDULE. 
Passenger Trains I eave an Arrive 

Passenger Depot Townsend street, bet. Third 
and Fourth streets, San Francisco. 



Commencing Oct. IS. 

1SS5. 



t 6.40A. 
8.30A. 
10.40 a. I 

* 3.30 p. | 
4.30 1". 

* 5.15 P. 
6.30 p. 



San Mateo, Red rood an-' . 
..Menlo Park 



* 8.10 A. 

I 9.03 A. 

| "10.02 A. 

3.36 p. 

t 5.02 p. 

6.0S p. 



10.40A. 

" 3.30 p j 

4.30 p. . 



| 9.03 A. 

.Santa Clara San Jose and. * 1 o*3gp* 
..Principal \\ ay station* . . ' " g * 



10.40A. 
* 3.30 P. 


.Giiroy.Pajaro, astroville. 
. ..Salinas and Mouterey. . . 


"10.02 A. 
6.08 p. 


10.40 a. 
* 3.30 p. 


.Hollister and Tres Pinos . 


•10.02 A. 
6.08 p. 


10.40 a. 
" 3.30 p. 


. . . Watsonville, Aptns, 

.Soquel ( amp Capitola),. 


6.08 P. 


10.40A. 


1 
.Soledad andWavStations. 1 6.08 p. 



A.— Morn ng. p. -Aftecnoo . 

* Sundays exceptet 
t Sundays only'(Sportsmen*s train). 



Standard Time furnished by Randoli'h &Cj., S. F, 



STAGE C >NNKCTIONS arc made with the 
10.40 a. m. train, except Pescad- ro stages via 
San Mateo and It dwn d, which connect with 
8.30 a. «. train. 



I.VUKMO\ EHKKi». 

Fur Sonoavs ONt.Y-Sold Sunday Morning and 
for 1 30 p. M. train; good for retur <-ame 
day. 

For Saturday, sunuay and M< nday Sol I Sat- 
urday an^ Sunday only ; go>d for return 
until following Slondav , inclusive. 



Tickkt Omens Passenger Uepnt, Townsend 
street, Va'encia-street Station, and No. 678 
Market street. Grand Hotel. 



a. C. UASSETT, 
Superintendent. 



H R. JUHAH, 
Asst. Pass. & Tkt. Agt 



SOUTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



Passenger Trains leave Station, foot of Market 
street, South Side at 

8 Aft A. M., daily, for Alvarado, Newark, 
iUU Genterville, Alvisn, Santa Clara, SAN 
JOSE, Los Gatoa, Wrights, Glenwood, Felton, 
BitrTreep, Boulder freek, SANTA CRUZ and 
all Way Stations. 

2 Aft P. M. (except Sunday), Express: Mt. 
■ OU Sden, Alvarado, Newark, Centerville, 
Alvlso, \gnews, Santa Clara, SAN JOSE, Los 
Hatos, Boulder Creek and all stations to SANTA 
CRUZ. 

4 Oft P- M-> daily, for SAN JOSE, Los Gatos 
■OU and intermudiaU- points. 

4ftrt A. M., every Sunday, HunterV Train 
>UU to San Jose, stopping at all Way 

Station". 

SC EXCURSIONS TO SANTA CRUZ arid 
O BOULDER CREEK, and #2.50 to SAN 
JOSE, on Saturdays and Sundays, to return on 
Monday, inclusive. 

$1.75 to SANTA CLARA and SAN JOSE 
and return. Sundays only. 

All through trains connect at Felton for Boul- 
der Creek and points on Felton and Pe^eadero 
Railroad. 



TO OtUL4t*l> -t\-|» 4lti]CI>4. 

§6.00, 5«.30, §7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.80, 9.00, 9.80, 
10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30 A. 11. ^112.00, 12.30, 
H100, 1.30, U2.00, 2,31', 3.00. 3.30,4 00,4.30,5.00 
fi.80, 6 00, fi.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30. 10.45, 11.45 
P.M. 

From Fourteenth and Webntpr streets, 
Oakland -§5.30, §6.00, §6.30, 7.00, 7.30 8.00, 
8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, H11.00, 11-30 A. M. 
TT12.00, 12.30, HI. 00, 1.30, 2 00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 
4.00,4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7-00, 7.30, S.30, 
9.30, 10.45, 11.45 P. M. 

From High street, Alaineda-§5.16, 46.46, 
§6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 7-46. 8.16, 8.46. 9.16. 9.46, 
10.16, 1F10.46, 11.16, H11.46 A. M. 12 16, 1112.46, 
L.16, 1.46, 2.16, 2.46, 3.16, 3.46, 4.16, 4.46, .1.16, 
5.46, 6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 9.16, 10.31, 11.31 P M. 

§ Sundays excepted. 
5[ Sundays onlj. 

TICKET, Telegraph and Transfer offices 332 
Montgomery street, S. F. 

L. FILLMORE, W. T. FITZGERALD, 

Superintendent. G. F. & P. Aft 



S. F. & NORTH PACIFIC R. R. 

(Broad Gauge.) 

Commencing sundny, January 3, issti, 

and until further notice, boats and trains will 
leave from and arrive at San Francisco Passen- 
ger Depot, Market street whan, as follows : 



Leave 
San Francisco. 



Destina- 
tion. 



Arrive in 

San Francisco. 



Wkek 
Days. 



Sun- 
days. 



7.45 Ail | 



| Petaluma, I SuN ' I WaBK 
I Santa Rosa, I " AYt -- I Day8 - 



I Fulton, 
I Windsor, I 



| 8. 50 All 



I Htaldsburg I 6 10 i 
8.00 am . Cloverdale, , 
1.30 pm t I & way stns. \ 



7.45 am 8.00 A.M | Guerucx ille 6 10 pm | 6.05 pm 

Stages connect at Santa Bona for -ebastopol 
and Mark WestSprings; atClairville for Skaggs' 
Springs, and at Cloverdale for Highland Springs, 
Kelseyville, Soda Bay, Lakeport, Sarat<^ r a 
Springs, Blue Lake*, Bartlett Springs, Ukiah, 
Eureka. Navarro Ridge, Mendocino city a d the 
Geysers. 

EXCURSION TICKETS from Saturdays to 
Mondxvs— To Petaiuma, §1.75; to Santa Rosa, 
§3; to Hea'dsburg, $4; to Cloverdale, §5. 

KXCURSlON TICKETS, good for Sum.a\s 
only- To Petaluma, S1.50; to Santa Rosi, §2; 
to Healdsburg, §3 ; to Cloverdale, S4.50 ; to 
Guemeviile, S3. 

From San Francibco for Point Tiburou and 
San iiafael — Week days : 7.45 A. M., 9.15 a. m., 
3.30 p. m., 5 p. M., 6,10* p. m. Sunuays: 8 
A. M , 10.15 A, M., 1 p. M., 5 p. M. 

To Sau Francisco from San Rafael — Week 
days: 6.30 a. m., 8 a. m., 10.30 a. m., 3.40 p. m., 
5.05 p. M. Sundays: 8.10 a. m , il 30 a m., 
3 p. si , 5 r. M. 

To San Francisco from Point Tibumn — Week 
days: 7 a.m., 8.20 a.m.. 10.55 a.m., 4.05 p.m., 
5.30 p. m. Sundftjs: 8.35 A M., 11 55 A. M., 
3.25 p. M., 5.30 p. M. 

"There will be no 6.10 p. m. hoaj from San 
Francisco on Saturdays. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McyLY.NN.Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Agt. 

Ticket offices at Perry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SONOMA VALLEY R-ILROAD 

Steami-r J -mes . Donahje leaves Sun Fran- 
c bcti and connects v. ith trains at Som ma Land 
ing as follows : 

4 Art P. M., daily (Sundays excepted), from 
,W Washingtun-.-treet wharf, for th t -wn 
of Sonoma, ulen Ellen and way points. 
SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8 lift A. M. (Sundays onlv), Irom Washing. 
■ ZU t n-street wharf for the t wn ol So- 
noma, Gien Ellen and way points. Rjund-trip 
tie-kits to Sonoma, SI ; Glen Ellen, §1.50. 

H. C. WHIT.NG, Su r 'erint.-.ident. 
PETEK J. McGLVNN, uen. Pass. anJ Tkt. Agt. 
Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SAUC£LITO, SAN RAFAEL, SAN QUEhTIN, 

NORTH PACIFIC' COAST R. R. 

inn; taklo 

i '« < ne ins n inlay, Nov. S. I SB, 

and until furrher notice, Boats and '1 rains 
will runs as follows : 

For SAN RAFAEL and SAUCELITO (week 
days) 9.20, 11.20 a. m., 3.35, 5.05 P. M. 

(Sundays)— 8.00, 10.00, 11.30 a. M., 1.30, 3.15, 
6.15 P. M. 

Extra trip on Saturday at 1.30 P. M. 



From 


8AN KAFAEL ( 


vvtek da 


.s)- 


7.45 


9.20, 


11.35 A. 


M., 3.30 p. 


H. 










(Suud 


.ysl-8.05 


10.10 


A. M., 


12.01 


M., 


1.35, 


3.20, 5.15 p. 11. 













From SAUCBLIiO (week days)— 8.15, 9.55 
A. M , 12.20, 4.05 p. M. 

(Sundays)— 8.40, 10.45 a. m., 12.35, 2.15, 4.00 
6.00 p. M. 

Extra trips— From Saucelito on Saturday at 
2.30, 6.00 p. M. 

11.3» A. III., Daily, Sundays excepted, 
THROUGH TRAINS for Duncan Mills and way 
sta'iona. (Through train from Duncan Mills 
arrive in Sun Franci&co at 12.50 p. M.) 

STA *E CONi\ECriONS. 
Staycs leave Duncan Mills every morning, ex- 
cept Mondays, forStewart s Point, Gualala, Point 
Arena, Cuffej's Cove, Navarro, Mindoeino, and 

all p lints on the North Coast. 

THIRTY-DAY EXCURSIONS 

Round-trip Tickets, good for thirty diys to 

and from all points north of San Ana lmo, at 

twenty- five pt;r cent, reduction from single 

turn? r*te. 



SATURDAY TO MONDAY EXCURSIONS. 

E^cursmn tickets s 'Id on Satur 'ay, good to 
return following Monday : Fa-riax, §1.00 ; Camp 
'laylor, Sl-75 ; Point Reyes, $2.00 ; Tou.ale*, 
S 3.00; Duncan Mills, §4. 

SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8,00 A. !H. (Sundays only) Kxcursion Train 
for Camp Taylor, Tomales and waj' stations. 
Returning, arrive in *an Francisco at 6.30 p. w. 

Fares for round trip— Camp Taylor, 81.50; 
Point Reyes, SI. 75 ; Tomaks, $2.50. 

J. W. COLEMAN, F. B. LATHAM, 

General Manager. Gen'l Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 

GENERAL OFFICES, 327 PINE STREET. 



PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP 

COMPANY. 



Steamers of this Company wil' 

%*!5,9ail from Broadway Whan, San 

Francisco, for ports in California, 

Oregon, Washington and Idaho 

Territories, jUntish Columbia and Alaska, as fol- 
lows : 

i MLllfbrala Southern Coast Uouie.- 

Steamers will sail about every second day a. m. 
for Uhe following ports (excepting San Diego, 
every fifth day), viz: Santa Cruz, Monterey, 
San Simeon, Cayucos, Port Harford, San Luia 
Obispo. Gaviota, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Hue 
neme, San Pedro, Los Angeles and San Diego. 

tfntlsh Columbia and Alaska Kontc* 

Sfieamship IDAHO, carrying U. S. Mails, eailB 
from Portland, Oregon, on or about the 1st o' 
each month, for Port Townsend, W. T., Victoria, 
and Nanaimo, B. C, Fort Wrangel, Sitka and 
Harriqburg, Alaska, connecting at Port Town 
send with Victoria and Puget Sound. Steamer 
leaving San Francisco on or about the first 
the same month. 

« let or la and Puget Sound Boute.— 

The steamers GEO. W. ELDER and QUEEN OF 
THE PACIFIC carrying Her Britanic Majesty'B 
and cited States mails, sail from Broadway 
Wharf, an Francisco, at 10 a. m., on January 
5th, 13th, 21st, 29th, Feb. 6th. 14th, 22d, March 
2d, 10th, and every eighth day thereafter for 
Victoria, B.C., Port Townsend, Seattle, Tacoma, 
Steilacoom and Olympia, making close oniu-c- 
tion with steamboats, etc., for Skagit River and 
Caseiar rffnes.Nanaimo, New ■Vestminster.Yale, 
Sitka and all other impor ant points. Return- 
ing, leave Seattle and Port Cownsend on Jan. 
5th. 13th, 21st, 29th, Feb 7th, 14th, 22d, March 
2d,and :very eighth day thereafter, and Victoria 
on Jan. 6th, 14th, 22d, 30th, Feb. 8th, 15th, 23d, 
March 3d, and every eighth day thereafter. 

i'wtland, Oregoii, Boute.— The Oregon 
Railway and Navigation Company and the Pa- 
cific Coast Steamship Company dispatch from 
Spear Street Wharf one of the steamships 
OREGON, CO (iMBIA, STATE OF CALI- 
FORNIA and GEO. W. ELDER, carrying the 
United States Mail. Silling days— Jan. 3d, 
8th, 13th, 18ih, 23d, 28th, Feb. 2d, and every 
following fifth lay for Portland ind Astoria, 
Oregon. 

ttureka and Humboldt Bay Boute.— 

Ste uuer ANCON sails from Sun ranclBco for 
Eureka, Areata, Hookton (Hum >slt Bay) every 
Wednesday at 9 a. m. 

Point Arena and Mendocino Btiutr.— 

Steamer YAQUINA sailu from Broadway 
Wharf, San Francisco, at 8 P. m. every Monday 
for Point Arenas, Cuffey'e Cove, Little River 
and Mendocino. 

TICKET OFFICE:, 214 Montgomery St. 

(Oppoeite the Rues House) 

G00DALL, PERKINS & CO., General Agents 

No. 10 Martzet St. San Francisco. 



CARD. 

THE WESTERN 

Fire and Marine 

INSURANCE CO. 

OF CALIFORNIA. 

TO THE INSURING PUBLIC. 

Xot iv it lis tan ding; the various 
reports to the contrary, the 
Western Fire and Marine Insur- 
ance Company has no intention 
of withdr awing from business, 
but invites the generous patron- 
age of the public, as heretofore 
extended to them. 

P. J. WHITE, 

President. 

6EO. H. WHEATOK, 

Vice-President. 

<; ko. w. sosiov 

Secretary. 

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE: 
«eo. II. Wheaton, John Fay, 

Jos. Macdonough, M. Kane, 

A. Vcn .sa.no. 



THE WASP. 



13 



AMrNKWKXTN. 



I^ihhi iit Tliculer. 

Al. HatvAX Lessee and Manager 

First Appearance of 
THE ILLUSTRIOUS ITALIAN, TOMASO 

SAL.VINI 

Cndcr the direction of C. A. CSISZOIiA, on 

M I:i.\- February Int. at H P. M. 

In P. Glacometti'a Powerful Drama, 

THE OUTLAW, 

SALVIM'S (;REATEST personation. 

On Tuesday OTHELLO. 

Thursday . '. THE ( : LADI ATOR. 

Friday THE OUTLAW. 

Saturday Matinee OTHELLO. 

Wednesday and Saturday eights, THE UUKE'S 

MOTTO, 
Mr. Alkxan-dro SalYIH] Jr in the principal role. 

SEATS FOR SALE NOW. 



HiiNii-Mtrcct Tlieatei*. 

M. B. Lkavitt Lessee and Proprietor 

CIIA8. P. Hall Manager 

MATINEE TO-DAY AT 2. 

Farewell and Positively Last Week of 

ALICE HARRISON. 

A Grand Double Bill ! 

EDITHA'S BURGLAR 

AND 

HOT WATER. 

Introducing a NEW RECITATION, written by 

Mr. Frank H. Gassaway, author of 

"Battery B," etc. 

Monday, February 1st— George M. Ciprico's 
Strong Emotional Play, "AFTER TWENTY 



'I'll*- Bon n i :i i ii THenler* 

Corner Sutter and Kearny streets. 
Geu. SciiMiTT Sole Proprietor and Manager 

E\ ery Evening During the Week, 

Genuine Hit. Perfect Ovation. 

Mabel-PEARL. A CA£SII>Y-John 

The; Eccentric Musical Moke, 

W I Ii Ki I A 91 FLETCHER. 

Still the Reigning Success— the Peers, 

Chan*. T.— EliLIJS A MOORE-Clara 

Monday, February 1st— First appearance of 
the Celebrated Musical Wonder, 

S. ft. K F, \SB,i:V. 

Late of Wood, Bcasley and Weston Bros' at 
Leavitt's All-Star Specialty Co. 



THE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA 

CITRUS FAIR! 

Under the auspices of the 

MECHANICS' INSTITUTE 

Will open at the 

MECHANICS' PAVILION 

Saturday, January 33d, 
And Close Saturday, .Tan. 30th. 

A FINE ORCHESTRAL CONCERT 

Each Aktersoo.v and Evening. 

Prices of Admission : 

Double Season Tickets 31 50 

Adults (single admission) 26 

Children 10 

P. B. CORNWALL, President. 
Wm. P. Stout, Secretary. 



OCEAN BEACH 

TERMINUS OF THE 

PARK AND OCEAN RAILROAD, 
Sunday, January 31st, 

At 2 f. m. 

FIREWORKS BY DAYLIGHT! 

The Acme of Japanese Pyrotechnic Skill 
and Ingenuity. 

TAKE YOUR OPKRA-«LASSES 

B3T Take Haight or McAllister-street Cable 
Cars to Park and Ocean Railroad for the Beach. 



PANORAMA. 

THE 

BATTLE OF WATERLOO. 

Cor- Eddy and Mason sis. 

Open daily from 9 a. m. to 11 r. m. 



A i-oi in TRIBUTE 



i. 

All hnil to thee, great magnctizcr ! 

I would my grateful li age \<a. : 

Philosophers an- growing ^ Iflor, 

Reform's the order "i the day. 
II. 

Oh ! life seems oft a weary thing, 

A desert with no living spring 

Of sparkling waters, geouj flowing, 

Illumed by sunbeams, bright!) glowing, 

But ever sad, and dark, :md dreary 

To the siek, the suffering and the weary. 

Bach mortal heart 

Mi^t (eel the dart 
That quivers through the throbbing brain ; 

The tears of woo 

Thatsadlj flow 
The sense of weariness and pain. 

III. 
Then conic where " living waters pour," 
And drink, that you may thirst no more ; 
To Dr. Darrin, skilled and keen. 
On Stockton street— one hundred and thirtccn- 
In San Francisco, vast and grand, 
Thu pride of our enchanted land. 
This doctor has the power to save 
The sick and suffering from the grave ; 
So great his sympathy with woe, 
That hundreds daily to him go— 
The sick, the sorrowing, and these 
So worn, so wasted with disease — 
So pitiful to mortal eye, 
And seeming past all surgery — 
The angels sure must weep to see 
The depths of their great misery. 

IV. 
Magnetic agency, divine ! 
Through thee the doctor heals mankind ; 
By the strange virtue of his touch 
The cripple lays aside his crutch ; 
The deaf and dumb learn how to talk, 
The paralyzed are seen to walk ; 
The old gray-haired, the middle-aged 
Have all their aches and pains assuaged ; 
And children pale, like specters dim, 
And blind, and deaf, and weak of limb, 
Are cured. Oh ! more than wealth 
Or fame— a life restored to health ! 



Oh ! life should be a fountain strong, 

As pure, as fresh as dewy morn. 

That rosy-red in beauty beams, 

Health on her brow and gladness in her beams. 

So like the stars that shine on high, 

Her splendors live along the sky. 

Then away, dull care ! 

And grim despair ! 
Seek ye no longer to oppress ; 

Your tears of grief 

Ne'er bring relief, 
But ever make our pleasures less. 

Gratitude to Dr. Darrin, who has cured me of 
a disease of long standing, induces me to send 
this testimonial in favor of his method of treating 
the sick. 

Believing, as I do, that magnetism is one of the 
most potent agencies that can be employed in 
the restoration of the diseased sufferer to health, 
gladly would I waft the words of truth and light 
to the sick and desponding everywhere until all 
should come to realize that magnetism is a light 
from heaven for the benefit of humanity. 

MRS. J.' C. K. 



"NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL." 

TAKKA>T\S EXTRACT 

OF 

CUBEBS AND COPAIBA 

Is an old, tried remedy 
for gonorrhoea, gleet, 
and all diseases of the 
urinary organs. Its 
neat, portable form, 
freedom from taste and 
speedy action (it fre- 
quently cures in three 
or four days and always 
in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make " Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the most desira- 
ble remedy over manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud see 
that each package has a rklik-jrii* across the face 
of label, with the signature of TARRANT & CO., 
N. Y., upon it. 

PRICE 81. 
Sold by all Druggists. 



PILES. 



Instant relief. Final cure in 
10 days, and never returns. 
No purge, no salve, no suppository. Sufferers 
will learn of a simple remedy. Free, bv address- 
ing C. J- MASON, 78 Nassau st., N. Y. 



C. L.BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

Poultry and Wild Game 

05, 00, 07 California Market, 

San Francisco. All orders attended to at the 
Shortest Notice. Goods delivered Free of Charge 
to any part of the City. 



DUFFEY & O'BRIEN, 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

POULTRY <& Gr^JME. 

Stalls 3 & 4 California Market, 
California St. entrance) San Francisco. 



NOTICE TO CREDITORS. 

TESTATE OF CHRISTINA M. HEDLUND, 
-*- J deceased. —Notice is hereby given by the 
undersigned. Executrix of the Last Will and 
Testament of Christina M. Hedlund, deceased, 
to the creditors of, and all persons having claims 
against the said deceased, to exhibit them with 
the necessary vouchers, within ten months after 
the first publication of this notice, to the said 
Executrix, at the office of Charles F. Hanlon, at 
Phelan's Building, 806 Market street, rooms 16 
and 44, the same being her place for the trans- 
action of the business of the said Estate in the 
Citv and County of San Francisco. State of Cali- 
fornia. MRS. M. NELSON, 

Executrix of the Last Will and Testament of 
Christina M. Hedlund, deceased. 

Dated at San Francisco, January 18, 1886. 

Charles F. Hanlon, Attorney for Executrix. 




LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- 
voring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, S, 000,000 jars. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feel grateful." — See "Medical 
Press," "Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fac-simile of Baron 
Liebig's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title "Baron Liebig" and pho- 
tograph having been largely used by deal- 
ers with no connection with Baron Liebig, 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. To bo had of all Storekeepers, 

Grocers and Chemists. Sole agents for the 

United States (wholesale only) C. David & 

Co., 9 Fenchurch Avenue, London, Ene;. 

Sold Wholesale by RICHARDS & 

IIAItRIMOX', and I,\\<.l.i:\ & 

« 14 ii AKI.s. 



TRIAL 

BOTTLE 

FREE. 



JGUFFICENT TO 
; O show the merits of 
:»RXALFIEliI»*S 

KEJi:V£\ATOK 

THE GREAT 

STRENGTHENING 

REMEDY and NERVE 

: TONIC, will be sent to 

: any one afflicted with 

: Nervous Debility, Loss 

Jt It of Vitality, Involuntary 

Drains, Organic Weakness, Loss of Manhood, 
etc., the results of youthful follies and excesses, 
for which it is a never-failing cure. As also 
Kidney and Bladder Complaints, Impurities of 
the Blood and Diseases of the Skin, Pimples, 
Eruptions, etc. Communications strictly confi- 
dential. Consultation by letter or at office free. 
Call or address 

I>B. C. 1>. K.tl,l'BHI,l». 
210 Kearny St., San FraneIsco,Cnl. 




Dr. Liebig's 
WOXDERFVL 

GERMAN 
INYIGORATOR, 

The Greatest Remedy 
for the cure of Nervous 
id Physical Debility, 
Vital Exhaustion, 
Weakness, Loss of Vi- 
tality, andalltheresults of indiscretions.etc. The 
German Treatment prevents permanently all un- 
natural losses from the system. 

The Doctor, a regular college physician from 
Europe, will agree to forfeit 31,000 for a case un- 
dertaken not cured. The reason thousands can- 
not get cured of Weakness, Lost Vitality, and 
the above diseases, is owing to a com plication 
called PROSTATORRHEA, with Hyperesthesia, 
which requires special treatment. 

DR. LIEBIG'S INVIGORATOR No. 2 is the 
only POSITIVE CURE for PROSTATORRHEA. 
Price of either Invigorator, $2; ease of six bot- 
tles, §10. 

DR. LIEBIG & CO., for the past seventeen 
years have made an exclusive specialty of Dis- 
eases of Men. Disease, however induced, speed- 
ily, thoroughly and permanently cured; recent 
cases in a few days; inveterate cases skillfully 
treated, charges moderate. 

If pimples appear on the face, if you become 
listless and despondent, look out for the compli- 
cations with Vital Weakness and Loss of Vitality 
known as Prostatorrhea. Hundreds of lives 
have been lost for the want of proper treatment 
for Wiis complication, and thousands have lost 
all their property and pleasure in life from its 
effects. A perfeet and permanent cure will be 
guaranteed in any case undertaken, under our 
special advice and treatment. 

Call or address »r. J^iebig & Co., 400 
Cieary Street, San Francisco. Private en- 
trance, 405 Mason street, four blocks up 
Geary street from Kearny. 

Most Powerful Electric Belts free to patients. 

i3T To prove the wonderful power of the IN- 
VIGORATORS, a $2 bottle given free. 

Consultation, advice and examination free and 
private. 



Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEARNY STREET. 

Still treats, with the samcWONDERFUL success ns of 
old. all CHRONIC, PRIVATE, NERVOUS, and WASTING 
diseases, such is NERVOUS DEBILITY, Loss of VITAL- 
ITY, PROSTATITIS, KIDNEY, ULADD1K and LIVER 
DISEASES, UNNATURAL DRAINS, cither day or night. 

IMI'AIKI-.D VITALITY, etc 

DR-MlNTIEba REGULAR PHYSICIAN GRADUATE 
OF THEOLDEST COLLEGE IN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known over the cntitc Pacific 
coast from Ins long and successful career in the practice 
of his specialty inthisclly, making cures in many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a term of years 

HOUSE PHYSICIAN, 
Or RESIDENT SURGEON, in the Orthopedic Hospital at 
Philadelphia, and he would say to YOUNG Men who are 
suffering from the effects of YOUTHFUL follies and 
MIDDLE-AGED MEN who arc PRIiMATl'kKLY OLD con- 
sult ouc who bas made yout disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Doctor will agree to forfeit $1,000 for a case of this 
kind he takes and fails to cure. 

Dr. MINTIE Is sole proprietor of the now famous 
English remedy, the SIR ASTLEV COOPER VITAL RES- 
TORATIVE, which he furnishes free to patients. 

Consultamon free. Thorough examination and 
advice including chemical analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest opinion given in 
every case. 

Office Hours — 9 to 3 dally; evenings, 6 to 8; Sunday 
11 to 1 only. Call o r add ress. 

A. E. M3NTIE, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 

San Francisco, CaL 



TO THE UNFORTUNATE! 

Dr. GIBBONS DISPENSARY 

■C* . > '_> KEAR- 
0*3»"J NY ST. 

San Francisco — Es- 
tablished in 1854 for 
the treatment and 
cure of Special Dis- 
eases, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases wearing on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, per- 
manently cured : the 
sick and afflicted 
should not fail to call 
upon him. The Doc- 
tor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doctor cures when others fail. Try him. DR. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cure. Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HOME. All communications strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J, F. GIBBON, Box 1057, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 





i;wt \ ifiLBMii s:i>. S. F. T 1&S3. 




THE MOST COMPLICATED CASES OF 

DEFECTIVE VISION 

Thoroughly diagnosed, free of charge, and 
kinds of Lenses made to order. 

SPECTACLES, 

Their adaptation to the various conditions of 
sight have been my specialty for 30 Vt'ars. 

Compound Astigmatic Lenses 

Mounted to Order at Two Hours' Notice. 

C MULLEIN 

OPTICIAN, 

135 Montgomery St., near Bush. 

Orders by Mail or Express promptly 
attended to. 



14 



THE WASP. 



PATRONIZE WHITE LABOR 

BUY YOUR SHOES 

FROM 

NOLAN & SONS. 

We employ 159 men and 55 nirl* making 
shoes. We liavc never employed a Chinaman 
in our Factory. 

Onr Factory is open for inspection. 

We pay $10,000 a month for White Labor. 

N0LAN& SONS 

812 & 814 MARKET ST. 

(Phelan Building.) 

FACTORY s 

Nos. 67, 69, 71 and 73 Stevenson St. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 




ART PAINTED, 
ENCAUSTIC, 
GLAZED AND 
PLAIN. 



For 
F OORS, WALLS 
y EARTHS and 
MANTEL FAC- 
INGS. 



S [W. W. MONTAGUE & CO. 

MANTELS, CRATES, FENDERS, ANDIRONS, 

HOT AIR FURNACES, 
300, 311, 313, 315, 317 Market street. 

(Between Eeale and Fremont,) 



SAN FRANCISCO. 



CHAS. EDELMAN 

HAS OPENED AN E1E«ANT 

CIGAR STORE 

AT THE 

JUN. OF MARKET, TURK & MASON STS. 

Under TruesdeU House, 

Where he would be pleased to see his friends and the public. 



FINEST OF 

Imported and Domestic Cigars, Tobacco, Cigarettes, 
Smokers' Articles, etc., etc. 




_ tort 



& Weabneii 

• in' ■* 



Nervous 

Debility ^^ Manhood • and Decay 

& favorite prescription of a noted specialist, (.aowre?* 
tiled.) DruRgiBts can fill it. Address 

OR. WARD & C0. LOUISIANA, Mft 



HUMAN NATURE. 

The men who kicked about the heat 

Now growl about the cold ; 
Old people wish that they were young, 

The young that they were old. 

A man is always saying that 

A woman's lot's sublime ; 
A woman, that she were a man 

Is wishing all the time. 

The maiden thinks that marriage is 

A happy, blissful reign ; 
And when she's married, then she wants 

To be a maid again. 

"We think if we a million had, 

Our troubles would be o'er ; 
And when we get a million, then 

We want a million more. 

— St. L&uis Whip. 



A young woman with tightly pressed lips and a 
gleaming eye sat upright in one of the seats of a 
West-bound train. She appeared to be mad, and 
the other passengers eyed her curiously. Presently 
a near-sighted man came along, sat down beside her 
and after a while began with : 

"Got far to go? " 

"Yes, too far," snapped the young woman with 
the gleaming eyes. But the near-sighted man re- 
turned to the attack with : 

"Been up to Chicago ? " 

"Yes, I've been up to Chicago." 

"Visiting friends, I suppose ? " 

"No, on business." 

"Married? " 

" Yes, I am." 

" And where is your husband ? " 

" Chicago." 

" What's Ins business 1 " 

"His business is none of your business, you 
impertinent dude. But when lie came down to our 
place, putting on style and sparking me, he was a 
Board of Trade man. Yesterday I went up to 
Chicago and called at his office." 

" Then he's a Board of Trade man, is lie? " 

"Yes, he's one of the janitors. I'd like to skin 
him, the wretch. But what is this to you, I'd like 
to know ? " 

"Ah, excuse me; here is my card. Should be 
happy to serve you. I'm a lawyer on Clark street, 
and my specialty is divorces. Laughing-gas admin- 
istered and alimony extracted without pain. Call 
and see me."— Chicago Herald. 

George Hauck, the brewer " On-the-Hill," tells a 
good story. He spent a day last summer at a hotel 
in Hunter, Green county, rusticating and drinking 
in the sweet beauties of nature. One day on his 
way to the hotel after a long ride through brush and 
briar he stopped at a neat-looking farmhouse for the 
purpose of getting a fresh glass of milk. The kitchen 
door stood wide open. Mr. Hauck after knocking 
walked in. He saw no signs of life in the room 
except a sleeping baby in a cradle which was being 
rocked to and fro by an unseen power. A closer 
examination revealed the fact that a stout cord was 
fastened to one of the rockers and run through a 
hole in the side of the room. Mr. Hauck resolved 
to follow up the cord and see what the other end of it 
was fastened to. The search led liim to a small barn 
connected with the house. In it stood three cows 
to the tails of which was tied $he cord. It being fly- 
time the animals kept up a constant switching with 
their tails, thus accounting for the rocking of the 
cradle in the kitchen. It was a novel means of put- 
ting the baby to sleep, but it worked well. The 
rest of the family were at work in a field about a 
quarter of a mile from the house. — Kingston Free- 
man. 



PENNYROYAL PILLS. 

"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations. Indispensible to Ladies. Ask 
yourDi'ttsgist for '■Chichester- s Eng- 
lish" and take no other, or inclose 4 cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars in lktter by return 
mail. KAME PAPER. Chichester 
Chemical Co., 3313 Madison Sq're, 
Philadelphia, Pa. 

TRADE supplied by GEO. C. GOODWIN 
& CO., Wholesale Agents, Boston, Mass. 

Now is the Time to Buy Cheap 

GAS FIXTURES, 

PLL^IItliliG MATERIAL, 

Chandeliers, etc. 

ON ACCOUNT OF RETIRING FROM BUSINESS. 

.1. K. PRIOR, 

1188 Market St. ana SI Turk St. 



We learn from a reliable exchange that a good 
healthy hippopotamus is valued at $20,000. Here 
is an idea for the fashionable girls who lead a thou- 
sand dollar dog along Chestnut street. Get a hippo- 
potamus and kill the other girls with envy. 



mmmw 

rlU^O^S, 

Skin Blemishes 

•' i A(n!d i [• 

BIRTHMARK'S 

•arecuredby- 

Cuticura 

pOR CLEANSING THE SKIN and Scalp of Infantile and Birth 
" Humors for allaying Itching, Burning and Inflammation, for 
curing the first symptoms of Eczema, Psoriasis, Milk Crust, Scall 
Head, Scrofula and other inherited skin and blood diseases. 

Cuiicitr \, the greit Skin Cure, and Cuticura Soap, «n exquisite 
Skin Be utifier, externally, and Cuticura Kbsolvbnt, the new 
Bl' od Purifier, internally, "are infallhble. 

Cuticura Rkmedibs nre absolu'ely pur* and the only infallible 
Blood Purifiers and Skin Beautifiers free from poisonous ingre- 
dients. 

Sold everywhere. Price, Cuticura, 50c ; Soap, 25c. ; Resolv- 
ent, §1 Prepared by the Potter Drug and Chemical Co., 
Boston, Mass. 

Qgy Send for "How to Cure Skin Diseases " 

Back Ache, Uterine ^ains, Soreness and Weakness spe:d- 
ily cured by Cuticura Anti-Pain Plastbr, Warranted. 
25c. 



$1,000 REWARD 





ForoneofDr. HORNE'S Electric Belts that eannotb* 
recharged and the Electricity felt Instantly by the pa? 
tlent any time without cost. Can be applied to all parts 
of the body. Whole family can wear ft. It Electrlflei 
the blood and cures when all else fail?. Monev refunded 
If not found as above. BEWARE OF WORTHLESS so- 
called Electric, Galvanic or Magnetic Belts, Shields and 
Appliances that are being foisted on the public, as the* 

Jobspss no power and cannot be charged by the patient. 
T CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE Fains in the Back, 
Head, Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility. Lumbago, Gen- 
eral Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis, Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ica, Diseases of Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Gout, Asthma, Heart Disease, Dyspepsia, Constipation. 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, Impotency, Catarrh, Pllw, 
Epilepsy Ague Diabetes, cw, AgtnU fFtnfca, 8*n4 
■tamp for Pamphlet. 
0* W. J. ilOKAi£, 

702 Market xtreet, £an Francisco, ral. 



2 



£VALENT2NES 

U FXISX3! 

P. J. KEARY A BRO,, 33 Chambers St., N. Y., the largest Im- 
porters of fine German Valentines and Toys In this country, 
desiring to closo out their slock previous to their removing to larger 
quarters, havo sold ua at less than the cost to import, 50,000 Llo- 
gant Valentines, which we propose to give away to Increaie the 
circulation of but magazine, as follows: Send ni 250. for fi mo*. 
subscription to Farm and Household) our large, Illustra- 
ted magarne for the home, and we will send you 1 large "li- 
ver and gold lace* 8 fold cushion valentine, 1 Elo- 
gnnt floral, fringe, lace, sentimental valentine. 12 
new comic valentines, assorted subjects, and 13 lovely 
embossed floral valentine cards, all by mail, free and 

KOStpnld. These 26 valentines at retail, would cost you over %\. 
loney Refunded If not Satisfactory. Address 
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD, HARTFORD, CONN. 



KgBirffl >rlrM IU bebiSoSteBmen! 

You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use 
of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt witn Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and per- 
manent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and 
Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for many 
other diseases. Complete restoration to Health, Vigor, 
and Manhood guaranteed. No rls\. is incurred. Illus- 
trated pamphlet in sealed envelope mailed iree, by ad- 
dressing VOLTAIC BELT CO., iU. TShall. Mich. 




E.UPTURE 

Positively cured in 60 days bj 
I>r. Home's Electro-Mognetls 
Belt-Trues, combined. Guaran- 
teed the only one in the world 
generating a continuous Electric & Mag- 

o current". Scientific, Powerful, Durable 

Comfortable and Effective in curing Rup- 
ture, trice Ki-iliifv'd. n(H) cured in H'.i. S.-nd forpw.mphle' 
ELKCTKO-MAGKETIC TRUSS COltiPAOT 
70® Market Strket, San Francisco- 

Manhood Restored 

Remedy Free.— A victim of youthful imprudence 
causing Premature Decay, Nervous Debility, Lost 
Manhood, <feo. t having tried in vain every Known 
remedy, has discovered a simple means of self-cure, 
which he will Fend FREE to his fellow-sufferers. 
Address, J.H.REEVES. 43 ChathamSt., New York. 



TO 55™ MEN 



t suffering from the ef- 
"ects of youthful er- 

_ .ors, early decay, lost 
manhood, etc. I will send you a valuable treatise upon 
the above diseases, also directions for self-cure, free of 
charge. Address Prof. F. 0. FOWLER, Moodua, Conn. 



THE WASP. 



15 



DEALBBS I> FTJUsS. 



ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 

:iio Sun* 4* Mlreetq Sun Franciflco- 

W II O h Kg A I. E. 

PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 

A Flret-claa Restaurant tor Ladies and Qcntl 

yoiiicn , Sun franclsco. 



in Sutter atroot, between I 
E, K. PERRIN, 



HEMS 



BUSINESS Tl,r Most ■ i < :i i -.i on 

COLLEGE, ,,,e Voant - 

24 Post St. S.F. I'"' Circulars, Address 

Send for Circular. K . |». HEALD & CO. 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 
Rook, News, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

CARD STOCK. STRAW AMI BINDERS' BOARD, ETC. 

Manufactorera uf Put^nt Machino-modo Paper Bogs. 
.11 -J lu .".!<; Niicramculo St.. > ■ S I > ii:im |M n 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Good Terms Ottered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L. K. HAMMER 

820 J Street - - - Sacramento 

Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



E. Cor. Fifth and J Sts. 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 

Established, 1852. Wholesale Dealers in 

Produce and Fruit Commission Merchants 

126 and 128 J Street. Sacramento, Cal. 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 
Baby Carriages Etc. 

629 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



GARLAND 




L. L. LEWIS & CO. 

STOVES AND RANGES 

MI'OKTKKS OF CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE 

502 and 504 J Street, Sacramento. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 

Special care given to Country Orders 



W. F. PETERSON 

MANUFACTURING CONFECTIONER 

Importer and Jobber in all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuta 

Fancy Boies, etc. 

618 and 620 J St. Sacramento, Cal. 



THE FINEST BEER IN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BREWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 

Cor. 16tii and K Sts. SacRaMinto, Cal. 

Orders promptly attended to. i | 



MRS. E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 
Branch House, 419 K St.. Metropolitan The.ter Building. 
Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer of the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lemon 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints, Oils and Glass. 
Proprietors of Pacific Color Works. Acme Rubber Paint a 
specialty. 915, 917 and 919 Second St., Sacramento, CaL 



A. H. POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents for Dr. Mott's Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett Springs Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or in caBe 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing, Robes, Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St., Sacramento. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN BROS. 

importers of 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN STREET, STOCKTON, CAL. 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 



OF STOCKTON, CAL, 



$300,000.00 



Capital Surplus, 

H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Fraser, Cashier 
General Banking Business 



CORBIN HARROWS 

Sole Agents 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

Importers of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY 

280 fit 282 Main Street Stockton 



sr. h:. IK. 




HORSE MEDICINE 




<i. H MOORE & SONS, Proprietors 




Stockton 
1 


CAL. | 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS. STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 

SEATING CAPACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Complete Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY GOODS 

185 Hunter Street Stockton, Cal 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Headache, Sprains. Bruises., 
Sore Throat, Colds, Kidney troubles, etc, A Specific for 

Croup. Try It ! Try It ! For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 50c. and SI per bottle. Address 

W. M. HICKMAN, DRUGGIST, STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 

.l Sizes 

Ulterior Deep-Well Pumps 
Blacksmithfng and General Jobbing. Orders from the Country 
i-rtiniptly attended. N.E. Cur. California^ Market St. Stockton 



J. H. O'BRIEN 

Wholesale Dealer in 

FINE WINES and LIQUORS 

224 Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private ASYLUM for the cure and treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 



ASA CLARK. M. D.. Prop'r and Supt, 



STOCKTON 



GRAY'S 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

itSTPersonal attention given to orders by mail for anything 
in the drug or medicine line. J. D. GRAY, 176 Main St., 
Stockton. (27 years in the business.) 



SYLVESTER & HARROLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom, 250 & 252 Main Street, Stockton 

Factory on Main St. bet. Grant & Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory in the San Joaquin Valley 



H. C. SHAW, PLOW WORKS 

AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS 



201 k 203 EL DORADO STREET 



STOCKTON 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain and Produce 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Orders solicited and promptly filled. All kinds of SeedB for 

sale. Post Otfice Eox 279. 



YOSEMITE HOUSE 

Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 

The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rate3-S2.00 to $3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH & WRENCH, Proprietors 



THE WASH. 




SCHMIDT LABEL & LITHO C0..5AN FRANCISCO. 

ALL INTEREST AND NO PRINCIPLE. 



PERRIER'S FRENCH RESTAURANT p,IVAT£ S..i , 2 EIK,lL 12 & 14 O'Farrell 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COM 1* V X V, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS.. S. F. 

Manilla rturen ol and Do ilora in 

FURNITURE, BEDOINC & UPHOLSTERY, 

\\ It'll Kantels aad Hardwood 

House Finish ii Specialty, 

\ I.AUun \bsorthbnt Cosbtantly ox Hand I.XU 
Madh ro OftOBe. 



Every Article Warranted and Satbfactioii 
Guaranteed 



«' UJI4»IOI % 

Sugar Refinery. 

Office, :!*J7 Market street. 

BEF1NERY, POTBERO. 



TtHHiTtWY CLKTRJUEO BY THE 

kan FRAHcisc g^f^ornc E 



,.„„..„ NEWioME 

^"rrl SEWING MACHINE C 2 

634 MARKETS? SAN FRANCISCO. 







W. <;. BADGER, 

80LR AQKNT8 KOB 

HALLETT, DAVIS & CO'S 



Olelirnli'd 



Geo. Woods & Co's Parlor and Vestry Organs, 
i ;t Sunsome street. S. v. 



CliAUS SPHECKELS., 
J. J". SPRECKELS . 
A. 11. SPRECKELS . 



President 

. ..Vice-President 

...... .Secretary 



W. T. COLEMAN & CO. 

SHIPPING AND 

Commission Merchants, 

SJS.eor. Mark •■! and Main si>. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

" Fashionable and tits him like a 
Glove." 

Such was the criticism on one of 



STORE YOUR FURNITUnE^ AN E ^ s c'., T A r KS 
CALIFORNIA STORAGE WAREHOUSE, "».) MINNIOX 
Xcxt to <.iaml Q|icra IIuiimi-. Advances made. i—- STREET, 

Decker Bros: Pianos. 

HatelileMK for Fine Tone i:ii-^;ini FiniHli 

and Greal I »n i-:il»i I 1 I A • l-'nil<ir*cii i>_\ all 

Artiwts ( iiiim-hiitii (h<- world. 

KOHLER & CHASE, Agents, 

137 A 1S!> POST STREET. S. V. 

COMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 
Manufacturers ol Every Description ol ^ ___ 

TOILET AND LAUNDRY SOAPS, WASHINC POWDER, ETC., ETC. LONDON, PARIS AND AMERICAN BANK 




Instantaneous Photographs, 

1<>2.> I.AItKIX STREET. 

Corner ol Sutter, SAM FRANCISCO. 

THE NEVADA BANK 

OP SAN FRANCISCO. 

Capital iiiiid up. s.i.ooii.fum. 

Agency at New York, Oii Wall street 

Agency at Virginia, Nevada. 

Buys and .sells Exchange and Telegraphic 

Transfers. Issues Commercial and Travelers' 
Credits. 



Office, 223 Sacramento St., - - San Francisco, Cal. 

I>.\ Kl\ A LIRBBY, )la«.;c«,s 



s 



WAIN'S 

An/I MARKPT f Families supplied with WclillnR Take 

r»."Sr» """ in-wt-i i 1 Ice Cream, Oysters Jellies. «tc. 

\J\J\J Opp. Palace Hotel. „ „ ., ■ . , ■-, .„,,. 



rAMILY BAKERY and 
DINING SALOON. 



G S HALL. Poqorif 



ICI.l <MI 11 l.\ l>i:i» BY THE IllIlK Ali FACITI.TV EVERYWHERE. 



joe poheims Jarvis Brandy 

istoiner > aw he left tit at Tailor's CX 



Customer's as lie left tliat Tailor's 
Establishment. 

SUITS FROM $20 
PANTS _^ $6 

aoS MoutKOinee.v street, 

7:24 Market street, 
1110 and 1112 Market street, 

11 and 13 Turk street. 

John M. Curtis, 

(Late CURTIS & BENNETT,) 

ARCHITECT, 

528 California St. Rooms 14 and 15. 

JOHN B. MclNTYRE, 
book: BITSTDER 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 

433 Clay and 4*5)5 Commercial Sts. 

SAN PUANCISCO. 



GERMEA 

FOR BREAKFAST, 

DELICIOUS. 
^ TRY IT!; It 



JARVIS BRANDY CO., GROWERS AND DISTILLERS, SAN JOSE, CAL. 

Prize Medal at the World's Exposition, Slew Orleans. 
^^^ HAS REMOTEB. 

S HOME MUTUAL INS. CO. 

ZNOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
]Vo. "5 Hi Maiisome street. 

East side, bet, California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more commodious offices. 

31st Annual Exhibit, .Tan. 1. 1HH5 




Premiums since organ'zafcion . . 

Losses since organization 

Assets, .Ian. 1, 1885 

Surplus for Policy Holders .... 

Income 1S84 

Capital, paid-up, Gold 

Reinsurance Reserve. ......... 

Net Surplus over everything. . . 



..§5,021,759 52 

. 2,llS,f)01 S4 

. . 858,653 22 

. . 825,963 68 

. . 484,016 73 

. . 300,000 00 

.. 2"5,157 07 

. . 250,806 61 



President J. P. HOUGHTON 

Vice-President J. I,. N. SHEPARD 

Secretary CHARLES R. STORY 

General Agent R. H. MAG ILL 



JOHN MIDDLETON, 



FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, 

309, :*11 Front St., San Francisco ^~^4^k ^W 1 

Tub Bbst akd Purest op California Wink. 



and Brandies. 



14 Post, and S. W. cor. Powell & Sutter. 




ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

Commence the Xew Year right, 

Economize in every way possible. 
Buy a IE C It It IE I : l> as a starter 

and Save Kent. 

BURR FOLDING BED GO. 

<E08 MA1EKET STREET. 




SOS Sansome street. 

Subscribed Capital §2.500,000 oo 

Paid up Capital *2,000.000 (JO 

Reserve Fund £50,000 00 

DAVID CAHN Manager 

EUGENE MEYER Sub-Manager 

Head Ofllee : 

!> and 10 Tokenhouse Yard, Lothbury, London. 
VPFWPTFQ ' Paris — 10 rue St. Cecile. 

^'^ ( New York-46 Exchange place. 

This Hank transacts a genera) Banking and 
Exchange business, issues Letters of Credit and 
Travelers' Credits, available in the principal 
cities of the world. 



ANGLO-NEVADA 
Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

FIRE &, M_AJRIIVE. 

SOBSOftlBBD CaI'ITAL *2, 000,000. 

Office: -no Pine street. 



W. OREEH HAItKlsoN, ['resident and Manager 

J. L. FLOOD Vice-President 

C. P. FARNFIELD ' . . .Secretary 

J. S. ANGUS Assistant Manager 

Hankerw--Tlie Nevada Hank of 
San Francisco. 



AMERICAN 

SUGAR REFINERY CO. 

SAN FhAr-CSCO. 

Manufacturers of all Classes of 

Refilled Sugars, including Loaf 

Sugar foe Export. 

E. L. G. STEELE, President. 
Office, ■;<>!•. California St. 

E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public & Commissioner of Deeds. 
288 MONTGOMERY STREET, S. F. 



Adopted1876. ORIGINAL ^iteniKV. 

<^ BUDWEISER <# 



On Draught l fvi iwpc PHELAN BLOCK, 

only at the LvU VmL) Cor. Dupont. 
jrVKiIVS «»I«1 i:.>, Proprietor. 



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(Established 1852.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best BATHS on the 
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OF CALIFORNIA. 

ASSETS !S1,500,000 

HOME OFFICE: 
S.W. cor. California and Sansome, 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

D. J. Staples President 

Alpiieus Bull Vice-President 

Wm. J. Button Secretary 

E. W. Carpenter ..Assistant Secretary 

HUTCHINSON & MANN 
INSURANCE AGENCY, 

.V K. cor. California & Sansome. 

CASH ASSETS REPRESENTED $23,613,618 

H. M. Newhall & Co. 
SHIPPING & COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

General Agents of 

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ATLAS 

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BOYLSTON 

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General Agent for the Pacific Coast. 
ait SAXSOMK STREET. 




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-PRESIDENT.- Jlfrj i CASN ICfl \ 

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Address, Patented Feb. 20, 18S3. 

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Sole Agents in California for the Sale of 

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SOLE AGENTS. 

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for 

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Subscribers wishing to preserve their Back 
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sent to any part of the United States by sending 
Fifty Outs. 



THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 

538 California Street, 



OCEANIC STEAMSHIP CO. 
J. D. Spreckles & Bros., 

327 Market Street, 

OWNERS OF 

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free Exhibition 
618 MARKETS I5& 17 POSTST- 

opposite PALACE H0TEL ° FposiTt MA50N1C TEMPL£ 



CHAS. I. HAVENS, 

ARCHITECT, 

Formerly Schmidt & Havess, 

121 POST ST.. Rooms 27- 2S, over O'Connor, Moffatt & Co. 

San- Fra-Vcisco. 



b£S t roller MADe 
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E 


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Importe 


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"Argonaut," 
Extra, 


"J. F. Cutter" and " Miller's 
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406 Frost Street, 


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"EXCELSIOR!" "EXCELSIOR: 

C . Z I N N S , 
FASHIONABLE TAILOR 

5 Montgomery Street (Jlasonic Temple), 
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GEORGE MORROW & CO. 

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Hay, Grain and Commission Merchants, 

SHIPPING ORDERS A SPECIALTY, 

. I 'lay Street, - - - San Frav > 



COOKS BROS. 

WALL PAPER AND FRESCOING, 
Parquet Floors, Imitation Stained Glass, 

103 Po*T SfKEET, SAS FrASCISCO. 



J. D. BARR &, SON, 

323 Bcsn Street, next to Bush-street Theater, and 

932 Market Street, next to Baldwin Theater, 
Manufacturers and Importers of 
Umbrellas, Walking Canes, Parasols, Etc. 
The most extensive establishment on the Pacific Coast. 



GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER. 

DP.IXK 

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Most Agreearjle Tonic K er I'repared. 



"WHITE HOUSE" WHISKIES 

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GEORGE STEVENS, 



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FIRE AND BTJKGLAR-PKOOF 








SAFES. 








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■27 & 2:> Calip.jkma St. , bct. Davis A; Drumm. 



A. O. COOK & SON, 
" TRADE 






£ MARk 

L E A T H E E BELTING. 

415 Market Street, Sas Francisco. 



AMERICAN EXCHANGE HOTEL, 

SANSOME STREET. S. F. 
The traveling pnblic will find this to be tht t 
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IS STOCKTON ST. 

Private Dining Rooms op stairs. Open all night. 



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M. MEUSSDORFFER'S HATS are "THE" STYLES.™- "jaSf IS ™ 






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In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Blork Wines 
In Cases, from G-. M. Pa jstmann Sohn, Mainz. 



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Importers and Sole Agents, 
314 SACRAMENTO STREET, S.F. 




THE LARGEST 

Lager Beer 

BREWERY 

ON THE PACIFIC COAST. 



JOHN WIELAND, 

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Second street, near Folsoni, 

SAN FKANCISCO. 



O CAPITAL /\_^|i __r\ Corner of I 





STOCK, 

$200,000. 



PHOTOGRAPHER, 

8 Montgomery St., San Francisco 

Veuve Clicquot 

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CHAMPAGNE. 

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J±. VIGNIER, 

SOLE AGEST, 

429 and 431 Battery St., S.F. 

J. V. LAWRENCE, 

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Cabinet Work and Fitting Up Offices promptly 
attended to. Telephone No. 900. 



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ADDRESS 

MENZO SPRING. 
?l 9 Geary St. >£ 

gJ SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. |» 
S OFFICE 6, 3 



BECHSTEIN 

Grand and Upright Piauos. 

GENERAL AGENT FOR PACIFIC COAST, 

A^. WALDTKUFEL, 
737 Market street, S. F. 

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. 



OUR LAGER BEER IS 
BREWED BY THE NEW 
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RANTED TO KEEP IN 
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STREETS. 
TELEPHONE 9013. 



ALE flfe PORTED 

In Bulk or Bottle, Superior 
to any on the Pacific Coast. 



RUDOLPH MOIIR. Sec'v 



Patronize Plome Prod.uction. 



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CELEBRATED CAX.IFOKNIA 




Delioio-uis 



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809 

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Jos. Fredericks 

& CO. 

649 & 651 Market St. 

FURNITURE 

and CARPETS. 

Latest Designs. 



THE BOSS 



For Sale by 



PACIFIC SAW MANUFACTURING CO 



17 & 1© Fremont St., S.F. 



Complete with Pacific Saw Manufacturing Com- 
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for work, $1.50 each. 



BEFORE BUYING YOUR 

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Call and see our large stock. 
Second-hand Safes always 
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HALL'S SAFE AND LOCK COMPANY, 

ail & 213 California St., S. F. 

SATJLMANN'S 

RESTAURANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

520 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered dailv. Cakes made to 
Order. Sole Agent for RUSSIAN CAVIAR and 
WESTPHALIA HAMS. German Sausages. 

A. REUSCHE. 



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SHIPPING % >I> 




gg- superior to aii in richness & ouality. -ass <j omm issioii Merchants. 




STORAGE 



for FURNITURE, PIANOS and other 
Goods, at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
HOUSE, 735 Market St. Advances 
made. J. M . PIERCE. 




AGENTS FOR 

Sprockets' Line of Hawaiian Packets, S. S, 

Hepworth's Centrifugal Machines, Reed's 

Patent Pipe and Boiler Covering. 

327 MARKET STREET, 

Cor. Fremont, 
SAN FRANCISCO. 



S TEINWAY. 



Doable Triumph at London, 18H5. 
Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
Grand Gold Medal by the Society of Arts for " Best Pianos 
and several meritorious and useful Inventions. 

M. GRAY, 300 Post street, S. F- 





CENTRAL 



113 GEARY ST., above Vupout, S. F. 

The most comfortable, cheapest and cleanest Hot and Cold Water Baths in the city with Hot 
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L. CORRIVEAIT, Proprietor. 



V\Td. LEMP'S WE | T ; ER L oufs R ^o ERY ' 




Imitated by Many, 

Equaled by None. 

J. ^V. EA^ANS, 
GENERAL AGENT, 

No. 29 POST ST. 




l OTTO NORMANN "IjyEJtSE&Z'- 



BORER'S 

BITTERS 

Used as a TONIC and COCKTAIL 
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SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

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WILLIAMS, DIMOND & CO. 

SHIPPING AI\I> 

Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
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SAN FRANCISCO. 

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DRINK 

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SAN FRANCISCO, S A T H B D A V, FEBRUARY i>, 188 fi 



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SCHMIDT LABEL & LITHO CO., SAN FRANCISCO 



HE CAN TAKE THE SEAT BUT CAN HE DIGEST THE MEAL? 



THE WASP. 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



THAT GATE. 

The editor of the Wasp was just musing over the 
Call's melancholy picture of the proposed park gate 
to be erected by the Sharon donation and wondering 
whether the flaming Greek vases were typical of the 
roasting the design would receive at the hands 
of the press, when a delegation of horny-handed 
gentlemen in home-cut clothes and with an aggre- 
gate of hayseed in their hair sufficient to keep a 
horse a day filed in. 

"How did you leave Petaluma, gentlemen?" 
asked the scribe, blandly. 

lt Pet is still thar," said the spokesman, solemnly, 
"and we have come, sir, as a delegation from the 
folks round thar to protest agin this here gate 
project of the park trustees." 

"Have, eh? " 

"Yes, sir. We suppose you all know that it 
ain't you city folks that go to the park. You don't 
care notliin' about it. It's we folks from the country 
that alters take in the Golden Gate when we come 
to town, so we've got a kick coming to us." 

" What do you suggest, gentlemen ? " 

"Wall, we held a mass meeting up our way 
t'other night and we brought down the majority 
report. We're clean against the frog-pond, statoo 
.or gate business — clean against 'em." 

"And what is your plan? " asked the journalist. 

"It's a nail-driver, as you'll see. Now what, let 
me ask you — now what is the thing we most need — 
that we're bound to have — when visiting the park — 
now what ? " 

"Fresh air — scenery? " suggested the editor. 

"Scenery be durned ! Why, milk punch, of 
course — good milk punch, and everybody knows 
what land of stuff you get at the park restaurant. 
Why, it would kill a horse." 

"Would, eh?" 

"Yes, sir. So we conclude that the proper thing 
would be to invest the money say in a thousand 
cows. " 

"Cows?" 

"Exactly. Short-horn Durham cows, to roam 
about the grounds, free to all — always on tap, you 
know. So that picnickers and the general public 
can always make their punches on the spot." 

' ' But the whisky % " 

" Exactly. Our plan is to have securely chained 
to each cow's tail a handsome nickel-plated flask of 
genuine Old Stag rye. What could give greater 
pleasure to the masses or yet be a more beautiful 
and imposing sight than a thousand cows peacefully 
browsing on the daisy-strewn turf, waving then 
glittering flasks in the sunlight. Why, Mr. Writer- 
man, the people would just go wild." 

"Should think so," murmured the editor, en- 
tranced by the Arcadian vision. 

"Just hook on with your influence and we'll 
make the idea boom. We're going down now to 
take a fall out of old Pixley and the other fellows. 
Keep it a movin' ! " and the delegation from the 
butter county tiled out. 

And the more we think of it the more it looks 
like the only really feasible and acceptable scheme 
on deck, and the gate cranks had better mind what 
they are about or there will be a popular uprising 
and general massacre over this thing yet. 



" Please give a nickel to a poor blind man, gents," 
moaned a venerable mendicant on Kearny street, as 
a couple of gentlemen approached. 

" How do you know there are two of us? " asked 
one of the citizens, winking at his companion. 

" I know it by your footsteps," said the afflicted 
man, with a sigh. 

"All right— take this dollar bill." 

" Hold on there," hastily remarked the recipient, 
"this isn't a dollar. It's only a clothing-store ad- 
vertisement. That's an old gag, boys." 

" And how do you know it isn't a dollar ? " asked 
the joker. " I thought you were blind." 

"Well, don't give the snap away, gentlemen," 
whispered the beggar. "But the fact is, I'm only 
a Hoodman Blind." 



St. Louis comes to the front with the very latest 
and most stylish tiling in defaulters. The young 
lady cashier of a large dry-goods house developed a 
shortage of $3,000 and although her apartment was 
privately searched by detectives the boodle was not 
located. It was finally noticed that she was particu- 
larly sensitive about her bustle and a search-warrant 
was issued to discover what her financial backing 
really was. The police generally shrank from making 



this attack in the rear, but finally a married member l 
was compelled to act as a matter of stern necessity. 
He recovered the swag but is now on a pension until 
the scratches on his face have time to heal. It is a 
delicate thing to tamper with the combination of the 
modern bustle. 



WHY JEWS LIVE SO LONG. 



Somebody proposes to hereafter set apart the 
anniversary of last Tuesday, the 2d instant, as a 
holiday in San Francisco. There was no murder 
here on that day — one or two no-account shooting 
scrapes, may be — but no positive murder. 



And now some smarty insists that the most appro- 
priate inscription over the proposed Sharon gate 
would be, "I pass." 



What makes more noise than a pig under a gate ? 
Why, three park commissioners, to be sure. 



A good-hearted young New-Yorker while trying 
to kiss a Boston girl last week had his eye nearly 
put out by a broken eye-glass. Nowadays benevo- 
lence, like virtue, has to pay its own wages and find 
itself. 



those French ! A Paris sausagemaker displays 
in his window a placard announcing, " Every link 
carefully inoculated by Dr. Pasteur ! " 



Another Oakland poetess has failed to "catch 
on," it would seem. She warbles, 

" He trampled on my hopes and fled, 
And I drift on with heart of lead. " 

All the same, however, it's time these Oakland girls 
learned to fold their hopes back under the car seat. 
A man's got to tread somewhere, but it's to be hoped 
he at least paid her fare before he got off. 



The Black Crook company have just contracted 
for the transportation of their effects East. The 
scenery requires eight freight cars, though the 
manager carries the ballet costumes in his gripsack. 



"Confound these dressmakers' bills," said old 
Boggs to his young partner. "I've just paid for 
Mrs. B.'s last ball-dress and I tell you they come 
high." 

' ' Come high ? " echoed the junior. ' ' Not the one 
she wore at the musical the other night — er — ahem ! 
Excuse me, I was thinking of something else." 

And the silence could have been cut with a knife. 



After all Bismarck is the most swell German of 
the season. He has got the dropsy. 

Derrick Dodd. 



AN ANGELIC ANTIC. 



On a dry and dusty desert 

An Arab chieftain lay, 
With parched lips, and body 

Nigh turned to native clay. 

His soul, too, fast was drifting 
To the realms of bliss unknown, 

When to his fevered fancy 
A vision bright was shown. 

Down through the heated heaven 
With dazzling light there gleamed 

A host of white-robed angels, 
And all most beauteous seemed. 

The first of these fair spirits 

With action sweet and grave 
A kiss, most chaste aud holy, 
Unto the warrior gave. 

Abdul, by the spirit 

Fired, rubbed his eyes, 
And beholds, no little to 

His amazement and surprise, 

A Yankee, calmly standing 

Beside his sandaled feet, 
And hears : " Yer seemed ter like it : 

Have another — it's whisky neat." 
San Francisco, January, 1SS6. Alaric. 



The Neiv England Medical Monthly comments 
very favorably on the proverbial long and healthful 
lives of the Jews. Dr. Picard holds that this supe- 
riority is due to their stringent health laws. The 
Mosaic, like the older Egyptian code, is very strin- 
gent regarding the eating of flesh and other articles 
of food. Of the animals examined, a large propor- 
tion are always condemned as unfit for food. People 
who eat meat indiscriminately are very prone to 
disorders of the blood and of the kidneys ; for meat 
is composed of nitrogen, which the kidneys have to 
remove from the blood, and of course they cannot 
do this successfully except by the aid of Warner's 
Safe Cure, the best kidney strengthen er, unless it is 
temperately partaken of and only the very best 
meat is used. Jews also use alcoholic liquors very 
sparingly and thus keep up good digestion ; and 
then again they are a holiday-loving and Sabbath- 
observing class. — Housekeeper. 

THE PEOPLE'S WILL. 



Men's last words have usually a profound signifi- 
cance, and when they haven't it is the duty, and 
should be the pleasure, of somebody to attach one ; 
and that's why we say that those of a member of the 
Virginia House of Delegates, who died the other day 
at the conclusion of a speech, meant a heap. They 
were: " The will of the people. " The power of 
prophesy came upon that man — he was tilled with an 
inner light and saw things pretty square. Of course 
it wasn't the will of the people that he should die, 
particularly, nor anybody just at that time ; but 
there's a sort of a dumb, deep feeling going on in the 
public mind that the accommodations of this cheap- 
jack world are not good enough for the average Leg- 
islator, and that dying might advantageously be the 
last official act of his life. Some go so far as to say it 
might advantageously be the first. While we are on 
this subject we may as well spread upon the record 
one of State Senator Jere. Lynch's happiest epigrams. 
During the first session of his term a certain Senator 
who was a bit of a demagogue was always talking 
about the "will of the people." He couldn't make 
a motion to adjourn without declaring it was the 
people's will — which, in fact, it generally was. In 
the fullness of time he returned to his constituents, 
was a candidate for reelection and was beaten so 
badly that he now swears he didn't run. Lynch, 
always ready to do a kind act, commemorated the 
poor man's defeat thus : 

He followed the popular will like a dog, 
And smothered himself in oblivion's bog. 
For the slush was deep and the crust was crisp, 
And the will o ] the people a will-o'-the-wisp. 
Jerry wrote it in French but that's the translation. 



SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER OIL, 

WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, 
Most Valuable for Consumption and Debility.— Dr. 
N. C. Reed, of Columbus, Ohio, says : " I have used your 
Emulsion in all cases requiring the Cod Liver Oil and 
Hypophosphites, and do not hesitate to pronounce it the 
best yet brought before the public, especially useful in 
consumption and debilitated conditions. ' 



In the constellation Orion, now so conspicuous an 
object in the heavens, is a famous nebula. It is 
situated just below the three well known stars form- 
ing the belt of that worthy, and to the unaided eye 
appears to be itself a single star, but is in reality a 
kind of luminous cloud containing many separate 
stars. To resolve this nebula into its component 
parts take an ordinary opera glass and direct it at 
the object in question, but hold it with both hands 
at a distance of, say, six inches from the eyes. Now 
with a quick vigorous jerk set it against the eyes as 
hard as you can and then put it in your pocket. For 
some moments all the stars in that nebula will appear 
plainly distinguished from one another, and you will 
be surprised at the number of them. Moreover, this 
brings out their motion : they will be seen to gyrate 
like sparks from a fire persecuted with a poker. Finish 
with a wet towel on the eyes and there you are. 

Found at 15 Dupont street, the Collateral Bank, 
where advances are made on all kinds of securities, 
including gas and water stock, city warrants, bonds, 
notes. Our rate of interest is low. Private entrance 
in the rear. 

A man from Kentucky consulted one of our 
physicians the other day for a bad case of indigestion, 
and tliL doctor advised him to tiy the hot water cure, 
handing him at the same time a glass of that popular 
remedy. Taking it in his hand, the patient began to 
.pull on a wry face and brace himself for the ordeal. 
" Is it very, nasty \ " he asked. 

" no," said the medico ; "not very, but some 
people have tender throats — can't stand anytliing 
strong. I'll dilute it a little if you like." 

The Kentuckian's vanity was hit hard. He turned 
in the steaming liquid without flinching, recovered 
his breath and said, with affected indifference : 

"Bah ! I could take it cold." 



THE WASP. 



CONSOLATION. 



Little's the good to sit and grieve 
Because the serpent tempted Eve. 
Better to wipe your t»yea and take 
A club and go out and kill a snake. 

What ilu you gain by cursing Niels 
For playing her mich a Bcurvy trick? 
Better go out and Home villain find 
Who serves the devil, and beat him blind. 

But if you prefer, as I suspect, 

To philosophize, why, then, reflect: 

If the cunning rascal upon the limb 

Hadn't tempted her she'd have tempted him. 

OUR MEDICAL COLUMN. 



A DISTINamSKED ARRIVAL. 

Joy to the afflicted. Mr. J. Poole Snierl, the 
world-renowned Patient, lately connected with the 
Imperial Hospital at Berlin, take3 pleasure in an- 
nouncing to the Medical Profession his arrival in 
San Francisco in a most precarious state of health. 
After a practice of more than thirty-live years in 
Europe and America, Mr. Smerl confidently assures 
young and struggling physicians that be is able to 
be cured of any disease in the world at a moderate 
charge. His certificates have appeared in the ad- 
vertising columns of every American newspaper, 
and it is hardly too much to say that the medical 
almanacs hail him as their most valuable contributor. 
He is constantly afflicted with a large and various 
assortment of the diseases peculiar to, or most prev- 
alent in, the locality where he is for the time being, 
and Physicians can select such as they wish to treat 
with perfect confidence of effecting a cure. Par- 
ticular attention is given to incurable disorders, 
from which Mr. Smerl's recovery has always been 
singularly rapid, as any Physician having one of his 
testimonial certificates will bear witness. To pro- 
prietary medicines Mr. Smerl's physical system 
responds like a gun to the trigger. He has publicly 
attested the efficacy of more than five hundred, in 
diseases ranging from cholera infantum to puerperal 
fever. In his rooms will be found a copy of every 
certificate that he ever gave. They are open to 
inspection free of charge, and a day or two spent in 
their examination can hardly fail to be most profita- 
ble to Physicians in disclosing to them the vast 
multitude of diseases with which they may have to 
combat, but which in Mr, Smerl they may hope 
to overcome. Not only "the ills which flesh is 
heir to" but those injuries which it gets by bequest 
of accident will be seen by these certificates to be all 
curable — a fact material to proprietors of lotions, 
ointments, liniments and plasters. Nothing has 
ever yet been discovered or invented for the relief 
of human suffering and the prolongation of life that 
has not at some time or other snatched Mr. Smerl 
from an untimely grave and restored him to his 
particular field of usefulness. He is not affected 
with professional prejudice — the only thing he is not 
affected with— but is willing to undergo a cure by 
any known method of treatment : allopathic, homoe- 
opathic, hydropathic, snidopathic, eclectic, electric, 
magnetic, emetic or energetic. The most perfect 
publicity can be relied on. 

Mr. Smerl is at the Baldwidental Hotel. Office 
hours from 8 a. m. to 3 r. m. Every disease a 
specialty, and all on tap. 

N, B. — Beware of forged certificates bearing Mr. 
Smerl's name. 



JOSHLERS QUACKOPATHIC SANITARIUM. 

Tins noble institution having been refitted from 
keel to cross-trees is now open for business. Pic- 
turesquely situated at the corner of Little KLneedeep 
street and Sump alley, overlooking the beautiful 
cemetery of the Polish Jews like a step-ladder, it 
has been described by a famous writer as "the one 
place in California where it would be happiness to 
die." This is the oldest curative establishment on 
the Pacific Coast, having been founded in 1852 as a 
slaughter-house. It has bed accommodation for 
forty-five invalids — ninety if they will double up — 
and keeps a skillful physician of the Optional school 
(the celebrated Dr. Emolio Varipraxis) who will 
treat each jiatient according to the system which the 
patient prefers. The popular undertaking establish- 
ment of Veripraxis & Abominus is in one corner of 
the building. The Sanitarium is run on the table 
d'hote plan and the bill of fare comprises mince-pie, 
green corn, cucumbers, apple dumplings, hash, 
sausage, malleable cheese, sturgeon, superheated 
bread and dried apples. No discrimination against 



lepers and people persuaded of Bmall-pox. For 
terms apply on the premises. 

A NOBLE BEBfEDY. 

Dr. Von de della Swine's Creation Resurrector 
cures all incurable diseases. This sovereign remedy 
has now been before the public for ninety years and 
is growing in popularity every day, Sundays ex- 
cepted. It is purely vegetable, being distilled from i 
poison oak (the upas tree of romance) the deadly 
nightshade and the berries of the sweet ambrosia — 
( hjclonata, contorta. The agent for the Pacific Coast 
is the Rev. Ladrono Borgia, a descendant of Pope 
Alexander VI. Appended are a few of the one 
million testimonials which the remarkable properties 
of this astonishing specific lias extorted from un- 
willing witnesses. 

Pe&ropalovski, Siberia, January 1, 1860. 
Dear SIR, — Seven years ago, while writhing under a 
most unjust attack of gangrene, I was advised to settle 
here to try the effect of the climate. By the time of my 
arrival I was very low and had left one leg at Omaha and 
another at the western mouth of the Lena. Walking was 
extremely painful to me. One day, observing that my 
boots had a singularly effulgent polish, I called my body- 
servant (I was pretty much all body) and asked him what 
blacking he used. This honest moujik, Ivan Cutaneitch, 
was struck all of a heap, but finally confessed that he had 
shineil the boots with Dr. Von de della Swine's Creation 
Resurrector. I at once swallowed the basin in which he 
had washed his hands and in five minutes was a well man 
and a member of the Imperial Council. You are author- 
ized by a grateful statesman to make any use of this letter 
that will advance the cause. J. Poole Smerl. 

New York, June 3, 1.885. 

Sir,— I had the unhappiness to be born an idiot and 
came to California in my twenty-seventh year. While I 
was serving a two-years' term in the Legislature of the 
Golden State an old physician whose sands of life had 
nearly run out (and who had been enjoined under the anti- 
debris law) recommended i >r. Von de della Swine's Creation 
Resurrector. I took it for six weeks and by the end of the 
period had written and published four thousand lines of 
first-rate poetry. I am now considered the smartest man 
of my weight in Sacramento, and am prominently men- 
tioned for Governor. Abijah Cmythe. 

P. S. — I can talk Chinook too. 

2SS0 Gallywed street, San Francisco, Aug. 32, 1881. 
Sir,— I was born bald. Am now ninety-four years old. 
The day before yesterday I anointed my gleaming pow 
with Dr. Von de della Swine's Creation Resurrector and 
leaning back with my head against a newly varnished 
chair dozed a moment and then started down town, for- 
getting, as I sometimes do, to put on my hat. I observed 
everybody looking at me with great interest but attributed 
it to my popularity. Pancy my surprise when reaching 
the door of my office and turning my head to bow my 
acknowledgments to the crowd, I saw a fine head of hair 
extending as far as I could see up the street that I had just 
come down, with two ranks of populace admiring it. The 
ends had stuck to the varnish of the chair-back, and it 
had grown as fast as I walked, I started back, coiling 
it over my arm as I walked, and so proceeded until I came 
to a place where a barber had severed it with his shears 
and was harvesting what he had reaped. I am now First 
Freak in a dime museum, with an action against the 
barber. Jason B. Grumer, 

Depot for Dr. Von de della Swine's Creation 
Resurrector, Nos. 346, 348, 350, 352 and 354 Scoop 
street, San Francisco, Room 7. 



inquire for Mr. James Varney. 



Dr. Johnsen's Undoubler, Great Malayan Remedy 
for Colic. Prescribed by all decent physicians. 

Sore Toes restored to pristine soundness by 
Madame Blotomsky, the Seventh Daughter of the 
Seventh Daughter, at 314 Buchanan's Brother street. 
Medals from all the crowned heads. 



Madame Bicepie Macstamina, Cyclonic Rubber- 
114 Slush street. 



HE DID HIM A FAVOR. 



Ben Reynolds is a practical joker loved and 
avoided by all who know him. One stormy day he 
and a friend who had not yet got on to the avoid- 
ance dodge were entering the Maison Dore'e at the 
hour of lunch, when they met Jim Varney coming 
out, chewing a toothpick. After the customary 
exchange of hellos Jim said : 

" Ben, I wish you would do me a favor. We are 
to meet this evening at the club dinner, I believe. 
I am expecting a very important letter, which may 
not be addressed to my street and number. If you 
are idle, as usual, I wish you would go down to the 
postoffice and inquire for me." 

"Certainly, my dear fellow," replied Benjamin, 
nudging his companion ; "just as lief do it as not." 

"Thanks," said Jim ; "I'll do as much for you 
some time." And he hurried away. 

" Got the drop on him," Ben remarked as he and 
his companion seated themselves at a table. ' ' Wish 



you'd go with me and see that I keep my promise — 
to the letter, as it were." 

Lunch concluded the two worthies hoisted an 
umbrella and wended their way through a strangling 
rain to the postoffice, and Ben, approaching the 
delivery window, said, with amazing gravity, to 
the clerk : 

"I was asked 
Is he in '? " 

The clerk with true official dignity turned bis 
back and disappeared without a word, and in a 
moment the placid face of Jim Varney appeared 
at the window : 

"Thank you for taking so much trouble, Ben. 
I hardly thought you would do it in this rain." 

Benjamin's emotions were mixeder than the audi- 
ence at an actor's funeral, but he managed to say : 

" Well, I don't see who's got the best of this : you 
have given yourself as much trouble as you've given 
me." 

"Don't mention it, my dear boy," said James, 
warmly : " don't mention it — none at all, I assure 
you. I'm the stamp clerk." 

OUR PICTURES. 



Perhaps the trouble and danger attending the 
possession of great wealth has nowhere been made 
more apparent than in the cases of the two richest 
men in America — the one dead and the other retired 
from business. Vanderbilt dying left the largest 
private fortune in this country, and since his decease 
every appliance of security and every safeguard of 
protection have been invoked to secure to his bones 
rest and safety. Cemented walls and nightly sen- 
tries combine to prevent desecration of his remains, 
and anxious uncertainty rests round the hearthstone 
of his family lest his tomb be violated and the corpse 
stolen away. Not less disturbed as to Ins personal 
safety is the retired king of Wall street, Jay Gould. 
He fears to travel on even the railroads he owns, 
and his limited movements are guarded by relays of 
sentinels and private detectives. In view of this 
constant apprehension of danger, and the feeling 
that must possess such a man of ever-present death, 
we may well ask is wealth worth having at such a 
cost ? Is it not dear at the price 1 Is such a life 
worth the living? Our artist has delineated this 
sentiment, and gives us the tramp a happier being 
than either the dead or living millionaire. 

Our last-page cartoon gives us a glimpse of Mur- 
derers' Row in the prison of the city and county, 
with the good-looking Sheriff Hopkins standing at 
the portal. He is confronted by Judge Lynch, who 
holds in his hand the bloody roll that tells of the 
fourteen murderers who have killed human beings in 
our midst, and have thus far eluded punishment. 
The names of the victims are also displayed, and 
their unavenged names cry aloud for vengeance. 
Representing an outraged community Judge Lynch 
salutes the Sheriff with the sanguinary record and 
significantly intimates that if this failure to do jus- 
tice upon these unhung homicides shall much longer 
continue, then he will be compelled to visit his 
primitive methods upon them himself. This picture 
truthfully represents a sentiment that is daily grow- 
ing stronger in this community, and it behooves our 
people to remember how terrible a visitation fell 
upon life and property in Cincinnati but a short time 
since, over a much less flagrant failure of justice 
than daily disgraces the criminal courts of this city. 

The English situation as it exists at the present 
moment is well exemplified upon our title page. The 
chair of the Premiership is offered to Gladstone, who 
haltingly accepts the same, introduced thereto by 
Parnell, who places before him the meal which 
proved too much for the outgoing administration. 
Salisbury is seen leaving the place disgusted, and 
carrying with him his crying little boy Churchill. 
The well-known antipathy of the Queen to the new 
Prime Minister is clearly shown by the supercilious 
toss of her royal crown. The world looks on with 
lively interest to see in what manner the "grand 
old man " will solve the difficult problem that now 
possesses the British Government. 



Fredericksburg Rheingold now on draught. Don't 
fail to try it. -, 

The Market - street Railroad Company having 
successfully defended a suit for damages for killing 
a man, voluntarily paid off a mortgage on the 
widow's homestead and set her up in business. As 
corporations have no souls, there is no way to reward 
this company in the next world, but the directors 
might be given a golden crown and a harp each in 
this world, and permitted to go to the public park 
on Sundays and sit with the band. 



6 



THE WASP. 



THE TRAMP'S SOLILOQUY. 



The air, the slcy, the sun is mine, 

The balm of early flowers, 
And though I don't most always dine 

Nor keep no strict meal hours, 
My hones don't ache from spade or plow, 

Nor eyes grow red from books, 
There ain't no wrinkles on my brow, 

Nor trouble in my looks. 

I've got no anxious heirs to wait 

To see the old man die ; 
When I unlatch the friendly gate, 

And levy on the pie, 
My gallant air, my genial smile, 
" The farmer's wife impress, 
She longs to be a tramp the while 

She calls my bliss distress. 

Those fur-clad millionaires who ride 

Behind fast horses, fling 
Then mud on me, my woes deride. 

Lord ! they should hear me sing. 
On sunny days when snug I lie 

In hay, just newly mown, 
My woes, indeed ! No woes have I ; 

The woe is all their own. 

And when Death happens in at last, 

An' eases all their pains, 
The cares their souls forego have passed 

To camp with their remains. 
Boxed up in brass, in lead sealed tight, 

Lest some chaps with a bag 
Should raid the tomb some stormy night 

An' walk off with the swag. 

My bones are safe from ghoulish thief, 

My body, though it lay 
Upon the highway, none would care 

To steal the stiff away. 
They call their graves big names, but I 

Have one beyond their fame, 
The place where happy vagrants lie, 

"God's Acre " is its name. 
San Francisco, February, 18S6. I). O'C, 



POLITICAL BUBBLINGS. 



Although the fires have not yet been lighted in 
the political wigwams, there are rustlings and mur- 
murings in interested quarters indicating that the 
anxious ones are in motion. 

The latest mention of gubernational candidates on 
the Democratic side includes H. M. Larue of Sac- 
ramento and C. J. Ryland of San Jose, both worthy 
gentlemen and excellent material for a race. Mayor 
Bartlett of this city has entered the field in dead 
earnest, and if the support of his "two papers, both 
daily," can circumvent the nomination, he will try 
conclusions before the people with the Republican 
candidate. It remains to be proven, however, how 
much influence the Bulletin and Call may have in a 
Democratic caucus. 

Governor Stoneman will of course try for a re- 
election, and in addition to his other claims of 
availability he can point with confidence to about 
one thousand extra votes secured among the friends 
of convicts lie has pardoned during his present in- 
cumbency. 

" Bill " Dunphy, as the boys familiarly call him, 
is receiving considerable attention for the office of 
Chief Executive. His qualifications for the place 
are summed up in personal modesty and a "bar'l. " 
The former is not very good political currency, but 
the latter will compensate for all other shortcomings. 

As to our next United States Senator, it is pretty 
well settled that M. M. Estee will don the toga at 
the hands of a Republican Legislature. As the rail- 
road company has declared its political bureau dis- 
banded and itself out of politics, Estee will not 
need to disavow or apologize for his anti-monopoly 
record, and can enter the Senate chamber as a con- 
spicuous example of consistency in opposition to 
corporations. The precarious condition of General 
Miller's health has compelled public consideration 
to the contingency of his death. It had been pretty 
generally understood that Delmas was selected to 
fill the expected vacancy, but the public outcry was 
so strong at the mere mention of the possibility that 
Governor Stoneman was compelled to publicly dis- 
avow it. It is now whispered that he has it in con- 
templation to create a startling surprise by appoint- 
ing James C. Flood should the opportunity arise. 



Wliile this gentleman of course knows nothing of 
any such purpose and has no desire in the premises ; 
should the lamentable necessity occur of filling an 
unexpired term, the public would much prefer to 
see such an incumbent of the place — a man of solid 
substance and substantial position — rather than a 
scheming politician and huckstering attorney. The 
abiding prayer of the State is, however, that no 
vacancy may occur. 

In Democratic circles Fleet F. Strother is very 
generally regarded as a candidate for Mayor. If his 
health do not fail him he will make a lively fight, 
although Supervisor Pond has been longer in train- 
ing for the same place. It is among the possibilities 
that J. Henly Smith, whose shadow looms up in the 
background, might be settled upon as a compromise 
in case of a close fight between Strother and Pond. 

Supervisor Farwell appears to have the inside 
track on the Republican side for the Mayoralty, al- 
though if a " Citizens' Ticket" be decided upon, a 
compromise may settle upon a weaker man. Mr. 
Farwell has brought himself into conspicuous pro- 
minence by the intelligent and courageous manner 
in which he has performed his duties as Supervisor. 

William Patterson is booked for the Republican 
nomination for Sheriff. His friends feel that he did 
not have a square show at the last political deal, and 
are determined to give him another chance. They 
speak of giving him such a " walk-over" next time 
as shall vindicate Mm thoroughly in his claim that 
he was really elected the last time. It is understood 
that he has the backing of the " Tammany Chiefs," 
Higgins and Gannon. For his opponent he will 
doubtless have the present occupant of the office — ■ 
Sheriff Hopkins — who seems indeed so firmly set in 
the place that it will take a derrick to raise him out 
of it. 

It is thought that Assessor Holtz will be again a 
candidate for reelection to his present office, and 
he will have as a competitor William Kreling of the 
Tivoli, who made such a spirited fight last year for 
Supervisor of the Eighth Ward ; and that County 
Clerk Flynn will be indorsed again on account of 
the creditable record he has made for economy in 
expenditure. For the Recorder's office there were 
a number of candidates so long as Dr. Bryan had 
his eye on the Survey orship, but when he relin- 
quished that gaze and declared himself again for the 
same position, that dissipated all competition in the 
Democratic camp. Major Stonehill of the Albert 
Sidney Johnson Post, who was one of the "greys" 
joining in the Grant obsequies and who is to be 
chairman of the reception committee of his Post to 
receive the "blues" during the Grand Army en 
campment this summer, is the strongest candidate 
for District Attorney. He has had considerable 
experience in the office, having been first assistant 
to Jerry Sullivan during his administration. For 
Coroner, Dr. McAllister, the present genial Quaran- 
tine Officer, heads the list with however a number- 
less following. For Treasurer John H. Wise looms 
up a head and shoulders above any competitors, and 
indeed this gentleman is invincible in any convention 
where he will permit the use of his name. William 
M. Edgar seems to be booked for Auditor, and his 
personal popularity always tells in an election. Ex- 
Senator Dougherty is spoken of for Superintendent 
of Streets, and ex -Senator Harrigan for Tax Collec- 
tor. The slate seems to read: "City and County 
Attorney, Craig," although an unexpected shower 
might wash the name off. 

The calculations of political wire-workers are 
much disturbed by the threatened advent of a num- 
ber of new parties, all of whom expect to put up 
tickets. Besides the leading contestants, there may 
be Tax-Payers, Prohibition, High- License, Anti- 
Coolie and scattering guerilla parties, headed re- 
spectively by O'Donnell and Kearney. Altogether 
the field looks like inviting a very free fight, from 
which no ticket can expect to come out succecsful as 
a whole. 



A WISE REFORM. 



The habit of administering quinine in powerful doses, as 
an antidote to malarial maladies, was once dangerously 
common. Happily this practice has undergone a wide re- 
form. Not only the public, but professional men have 
adopted, not wholly, of course, but largely, Hostetter's 
Stomach Bitters as a safe botanic substitute for the perni- 
cious alkaloid. The consequences of this change are most 
important. Now fever and ague sufferers are cured — 
formerly their complaints were only for the time relieved, 
or half cured — the remedy eventually failing to produce 
any appreciable effect, except the doses were increased. 
A course of the Bitters, persistently followed, breaks up the 
worst attacks and prevents their return. The evidence in 
favor of this sterling specific and household medicine is of 
no ambiguous character, but positive and satisfactory, and 
the sources whence it proceeds are very numerous. 



THE OFFICIAL INDORSEMENT 



Of Hon. Chancellor Hartson by the Merchants of San 
Francisco on his Retirement from Office. 



Some weeks since we reproduced in these columns 
sundry extracts from the interior press, indicating a 
decided preference for Hon. Chancellor Hartson as 
the Republican candidate for Governor in this year's 
election. We included in these his home papers, 
showing that in Napa county, where he is most 
intimately known, the feeling in Iris favor was 
practically unanimous. Since our publication the 
accumulating testimony in the same direction is 
becoming so general and outspoken in its volume 
and tone that we are induced in this issue to repub- 
lish a number of the editorial utterances of the State 
press, as evidencing the direction in which popular 
opinion seems to have crystalized on the gubernato- 
rial question. All sections of the State seem to have 
caught the sentiment favorably, and there is nowhere 
the usual geographical jealousy. His availability as 
a candidate is placed beyond question by these ex- 
pressions of popular good-will ; and granger and 
merchant, manufacturer and capitalist seem to have 
joined hands in commendation of his candidacy. As 
the nominee of the Republican ranks he would 
reconcile all factional strifes and lead a united party 
to victory. 

As a prelude to the notices from the interior of 
the State we deem it a fitting introduction to repub- 
lish the testimony which the leading merchants of 
San Francisco bore to his fairness, honesty and ability 
when he retired from office under the Federal Gov- 
ernment. Upon yielding up his commission they 
addressed him as follows : 

Hon. C. Hartson, Collector of Internal Revenue — Dear 
Sir : The undersigned merchants of San Francisco, hav- 
ing had intimate business relations with your office, desire 
to present you some evidence of our respect, esteem and 
confidence, as the term of your official service closes. 

You have discharged the delicate and difficult duties of 
the office of Collector of Internal Revenue with much con- 
sideration, courtesy and satisfaction. 

There has been no duty or responsibility, however peril- 
ous to yourself, that you have not met honorably and 
courageously. 

No one has been persecuted or favored on account of his 
wealth or prosperity nor neglected or denied a right on 
account of his lowliness or poverty ; and we now most 
cheerfully repeat what we on, a former occasion attested 
"that your administration has been characterized by in- 
telligence, integrity and impartiality, and that you have 
served both the Government and people with justice and 
fidelity. " 

Now, on your retirement to private life, we shall always 
be pleased to hear of your prosperity and happiness. 

At the same time various special branches of busi- 
ness bore additional witness to his courtesy and 
integrity, for the reproduction of only one of which 
have we space at this time. The tobacco-dealers 
testified their commendation in the following terms : 

San Francisco, June IS, 1SS5. 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson— Dear Sir : The undersigned 
cigar manufacturers and dealers in tobacco, resident in the 
city and county of San Francisco, desire, on your retire- 
ment from the office of Collector of Internal Revenue, to 
bear testimony, not only to your fidelity to the interests of 
the Government in the discharge of your important duties, 
but also to the courtesy, fairness and impartiality which 
has invariably characterized the administration of the 
affairs of your office relative to the merchants, manufact- 
urers and dealers within your jurisdiction. 

Your efforts to compel obedience to the law, thereby 
protecting the honest manufacturer and merchant against 
the illicit 1 and fraudulent practices of dishonest and un- 
scrupulous transgressors, merits and receives our highest 
appreciation and warmest commendation, and in the sev- 
erance of our official relations, we beg to assure you that 
you retain our fullest confidence and esteem as a man and 
our sincere respect as a public officer. 

That health and prosperity may attend you in the future 
is the sincere desire of very respectfully yours. 



NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST 
Indorse the Candidacy of Chancellor Hartson for Governor. 

Chancellor Hartson is unquestionably the peoples 
choice. — Trinity Journal. 

He is one of the Republican " Old Guard " of the 
State and has served several terms in each house of 
the legislature with great ability. — San I>iego Union. 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson has thus far honored 
every position to which he has been called. He 
would not disappoint the people in the office of 
Governor. Whom have we in the Republican party 
better fitted to perform the duties of that great office 
than Chancellor Hartson ? — Napa Register. 

The Republicans of California can win the fight in 
1886 with a popular man at the head of the ticket. 
The warm indorsement of Hon. Chancellor Hartson 



T hi E V - 



by the Republican [ ress . i the State, north, south, 
east and west, shows that he is the man for the 
n. San Jo 

W ! a I Democrat this year as 

■ r, but if it must bea Republican Mr. Hart- 
son will make as g 1 an executive as any man in 

the State. Napa Report* . (Dem.) 

As Collector of Revenue in the San I - 
district Mr. Hartson hn 

ever filling the position, tie is knoi 
public-spirited eitizen, one whose name i ■ <■ 

iake him a 
prominent factor in California statesmanship. St. 
Bdena Star. 

Mr. Harts.. n is a pioneer of Napa, whose public 

spirit and enterprise have made hi neof the must 

useful and respected citizens of thai section. He is 
a man <.f advanced views, of Liberal and progressive 
ideas, of sound financial policy, and an unquestioned 
statesmanship. — Pasedena and Valley Union. 

Mr. Hartson is well known to the people of Cali- 
fornia having represented his county in the Legisla- 
ture several years. In 1881 he was appointed In- 
terna] Revenue Collector for the Lai District of 
California but on the inauguration of Cleveland lie 
immediately sent in his resignation, being the first 
Republican in California who voluntarily gave up 
his office. Should the Republicans of California 
tender to Judge Hartson the nomination for Gov- 
ernor, there will be a sweeping victory for them. — 
Sa/n Bernardino Index. 

At the next convention that will meet in Sacra- 
mento to nominate a Governor there will be pre- 
sented the name of Hon. Chancellor Hartson, of 
Napa city. During the administration of President 
Arthur he was Collector of Internal Revenue at San 
Francisco. It appears to us that the Republican 
party could not nominate a more perfect gentleman 
nor one more pure in his office. Pie has the undi- 
vided good-will of all of Napa Valley, where he has 
led a distinguished political life for many years. 
The esteem and respect that he lias acquired through- 
out the interior of the State of California make him 
a powerful adversary to the Democratic party, which 
has in its ranks no such man of right principle, gen- 
erous heart and elevated mind as to compete success- 
fully with Hon. Chancellor Hartson. — San Francisco 
L-Etnuji-itttti: (Spanish). 

If expression of the party reflect public sentiment, 
Chancellor Hartson is at present the favorite for the 
office of Governor among Republicans. He has a 
clean record and would not be compelled to carry 
on a campaign of continual explanation of his past 
acts and expressions of opinion. — Vallejo Chronicle. 

Republican candidates for Governor are starting 
out of every bush. However, the friends of Chan- 
cellor Hartson have the inside tract for the nomina- 
tion, and as he certainly is the most available man, 
they will doubtless succeed in getting him nominated. 
And if he is nominated, it will behoove the Demo- 
crats to put forward their very best man, or they 
will certainly be defeated. — San Jose Herald, (Dem.) 

Among the many available candidates forGovernor 
that have been mentioned by the press, on the Re- 
publican side, Hon. Chancellor Hartson, of Napa, 
stands foremost. This gentleman has long occupied 
a prominent position in State politics, and is one of 
the representative men in the Republican party. 
He is a man of sound ability, wields a strong influ- 
ence with the agriculturists, and is financially able 
to make a vigorous campaign. So far he seems the 
most popular man mentioned. — Calaveras Prospect. 

The Republican papers all over the State are 
booming Hon. Chancellor Hartson, of Napa, for 
Governor. If he should get the nomination the 
Reporter will have but one reason for opposing him. 
He is a Republican ; that is all we can say against 
him. — Napa Reporter, (Dem.) 

The gubernatorial boom of Hon. Chancellor Hart- 
son, of Napa, appears to be growing. The Repub- 
lican press throughout the State is speaking very 
favorably of his candidacy. Judge Hartson, while 
he is an active Republican, is a high-minded politi- 
cian, and does not descend to the methods of dema- 
gogues to secure popular favor. Should he have the 
good fortune to receive the nomination, his election 
is assured. — Fresno Republican. 

From all parts of the State our exchanges have 
kind words for Hon. Chancellor Hartson, of Napa, 
looking to him as the first choice of the people for 
our next Governor. He is honest, he is capable, he 
is available, and the Republican party will voice the 



i In- people t-\ making him us %\ 

■ 

a desire on the part of a few 

Republican papt rs i" a ■ i >i 

Raj of Napa, for the < gubernatorial nomii 

in fact. In- is the strongest man. men- 
tioned ilni-^ far, bui the booming season is ni 
enough to hand to work on. Judge Hartson is a 

- 1 man. however, and his record as a Legislator 

and Federal officer i-- above reproach. Should he 
gel the u inatioii, his election is assured. Gali 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson is already mentioned as 
a prominent candidate for Governor on the Repub- 
lican ticket. We believe no re popular man could 

be found in the Republican ranks. As Collector of 
Internal Revenue in the San Francisco district, Mr. 
Hartson made the most efficient officer ever idling 
t!*<- position and his revenue office was oik* of the 
bust conducted in the United status. Mr. Hartson 
is know as a public-spirited citizen, one whose name i 
is above reproach and whose marked abilities make 
him a prominent factor in California statesmanship. 
His nomination we feel assured will be equivalent 
to his election. — St. Selena Star. We indorse the 
above, because we have a right to. We have known I 
Judge Hartson personally for a quarter of a century ; 
we know him to be honest and capable. — Lodi 
Sentinel. 

The most prominent name mentioned in connec- 
tion with the Republican Gubernatorial nomination 
is that on Hon. Chancellor Hartson Mr. Hartson 
is one of the ablest and most popular men in the 
State, and has honored every position to which he 
has been called. His nomination would be equiva- 
lent to an election. — San Jos>; Times-MercMtry. 

Chancellor Hartson, of Napa, has been put for- 
ward by sundry journals of his party as a competitor 
for the mantle of Stoneman. We are free to admit 
that the garment might fall on less worthy shoulders. 
Mr. Hartson lias had considerable experience in 
political affairs, and is a strong partisan and an 
ardent granger. — Stockto-n Mail, (Dem.) 

Hon. Chancellor Hartson is mentioned most 
favorably by many of the newspapers of the State 
as the Republican candidate for Governor at the 
coming election. Not a few Democratic papers 
speak favorably of him. We formed his acquaint- 
ance thirteen years ago, and were early impressed 
with his intelligence, statesmanship, integrity and 
business-like habits. Later years have intensified 
our admiration for him as a man. During the 
Arthur administration he held the responsible posi- 
tion of Collector of Internal Revenue for the San 
Francisco district, and filled the office to the satis- 
faction of everybody. He is independent, progres- 
sive and aggressive. His character is unblemished, 
and he is noted for his liberality in all things de- 
manding the consideration of a man of broad views. 
California can select no better man for Governor. 
His home papers at Najia speak in the highest terms 
of Mr. Hartson. In Napa county, where he has 
lived for many years, he would receive an almost 
unanimous vote. — Ventura Free Press. 

Chancellor Hartson is mentioned favorably by a 
number of our exchanges as the next Republican 
candidate for Governor. From what we know of 
Judge Hartson and his record we are inclined to 
believe that his qualifications eminently fit him for 
the distinguished and responsible position of Chief 
Executive of the State. We have never heard his 
integrity questioned. One thing we admire in Judge 
Hartson is that he is a Republican who has the 
courage of his convictions. An address delivered 
before the San Francisco Turn Verein Association 
on the twentieth anniversary of the death of Abra- 
ham Lincoln, by Mr. Hartson, is one of the most 
eloquent orations we have had the pleasure of read- 
ing for many a day. — Fresno Republican. 

There are a number of prominent Republicans 
already mentioned in connection with the position 
of next Governor of California. While all of the 
names are prominently connected with the growth 
and prosperity of the State the Herald dares to 
express a preference in behalf of a citizen of the 
northern section of our own congressional district 
who if he desires it is in every way worthy of the 
honor to be preferred if Republicans are to prefer it. 
That citizen is Hon. Chancellor Hartson, of Napa, 
and his name is as familiar as a household word 
from the coast shore of San Francisco bay to the 
Oregon line. While he stands upon his own merits 
and outside the necessity of journalistic encomium, 
we still consider it a journalistic duty to make 



Favorable mention oi his candidacy n he in fact 
a candidate for the position of Governor on 
the Republican ticket. So far as we have been able 
to judge there is a n aanimitj of feeling 

on the pan of the press of northern California in 
regard to Mr. Hansons elevation to the gubernato- 
rial position, [n this regard the north and south, 
bo far as our State Limits extend, seem tn be very 
firmly united in opinion. /,'■ /.„. , ..',', Herald. 

'I'lie Republicans are in much better .shape to 
enter the contest with confidence of a final victory. 
They have some good and Btrong men presented 
from which to seh-et acandidate. 'ilie two strong' at 
and most prominent in every respect are Chancellor 
Hartson, late Internal Revenue Collector of San 
Francisco, and Senator A. L. Chandler of Sitter 
and Yuba, They are both Btrong and well-known 
friends of the people, whose records are unimpeach- 
ablc, and both men of integrity and ability. We 
prefer' Mr. Hartson because of his great experience 
and broad views. He is a brilliant man, and is 
possessed of admirable administrative abilities. His 
services in the Legislature in 1880 were recognized 
by all parties as most beneficial to the State, and his 
education brings him up to a standard which will be 
an honor to the position. We shall be prepared to 
go into the campaign with enthusiasm should he 
receive the nomination. Should the convention see 
tit to select some other good Republican we will be 
found where we have always been found since 1850, 
doing yeoman service for the principles we cherish. — 
Modesto Harold. 

The Republicans of California know Mr. Hartson 
and they admire him for his independence as a 
square-toed Republican. Mr. Hartson as a Federal 
office- holder did not invite or urge Cleveland to 
retain him. He had no claims upon the dominant 
party, and invited the administration at Washington 
to take his commission and give it to some Democrat. 
This is the sort of Republican every Republican is 
who makes principle his guide. Mr. Hartson did 
not propose to bow to the Cleveland administration, 
and the majority of California Republicans in office 
feel just as Mr. Hartson acted. — Marysrille Appeal. 

When the name of Hon. Chancellor Hartson was 
first presented to the public it was through the 
ability and integrity exhibited by liim in the admin- 
istration of affairs as U. S. Collector of Internal 
Revenue, and his able and manly course in the 
Legislature during the session following the adoption 
of the present Constitution, when the question of 
revenue confronted the lawmakers. The history 
of that session is one of interest. When the ques- 
tion of the assessment of mining and other stocks 
was presented he solved the problem by an amend- 
ment to the revenue bill then under consideration, 
and that amendment is the law to-day and is satis- 
factory to the people. His speecli on that occasion 
stands as a text on the revenue question. In every 
position to which he has been called he has exhibited 
an ability equal to the occasion, and liis honesty and 
integrity stands unimpeachable. We are for him 
because the people in all parts of the State are for 
him, and they have made known their desires in an 
unmistakable manner. We shall not plead his cause 
as though it needed any pleading, but merely by 
seconding the wishes of the people who are the 
sovereigns and who are always right. With all due 
respect to the abilities of those who have been 
named in connection with the nomination for Gov- 
ernor, we consider him the peer of any, and it is 
undoubtedly true that he has that following which 
places him a league in advance in the matter of 
availability. With him there will be enthusiasm, 
without which there can be no success. — Modesto 
Herald. 



EXI1WBEEI 



-'■'. U N I VERSALtf ACKNOWLEDGED. 
SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHERS.BY PHTS I- 
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ONE TRIAL INSURES AN 
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TIE 




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SCHMIDT LABEL* UTHO.CO, SAN FRANCISCO. 



ey a a trouble. I'm happier'n either of 'em. 



■r 



10 



THE WASP 




Y EARS m USE* 

The Greatest Medica l Triump h of the Age! 
SYMPTOMS OP A 



I.OSS of aypctite f Bowels costive, Pain in 
the head, with a dull sensation in the 
back part. Fain under the shoulder- 
blade* Fullness after eating, with a dis- 
inclination to exertion of body or mind, 
Irritability of temper, low spirits, with 
afeelingofhavincrnegiected some duty, 
Weariness, Dizziness, Fluttering at tho 
Heart, Dots before the eyes. Headache 
oTer tho right cyo, Kestleseness, with 
fitfuS dreams, Highly colored Urine, and 

CONSTIPATION. 

TUTT'S FIXiIjS are especially adapted 
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They Increase the Appetite, and cause tho 
body to Take on Fiesta, thus the system Is 
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the IHgeEtive Organs, I?ei?ular Stools are 
produc ed . Price Mt^j44 MTuT a' a g .-^"^(•.'^ 

TUH'S EXTRACT SARSAPARILLA 

Renovates the body, makes healthy flesh, 

strengthens the weak, repairs the wastes of the 

system with pure blood and hard mus le; tones 

the nervous system, invigorates the brain, and 

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PURE OLD TENNESSEE 




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LOSSES PAID 

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- President 

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JOHN H. WISE, - 
CHAS. A. LATON, 



CRUSHED INDIAN 

FOR BREAKFAST. 

JOHN T. CUTTING & Co., Sole Agents. 



Little Orphan Annie's come to our home to stay, 

An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an" brush the crumbs 

away, 
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an" dust the hearth, 

an' sweep, 
An' make the tire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board - 

an'-keep ; 
An' all us other children, when the supper tilings is done, 
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun 
A-list'nin' to the witch tales 'at Annie tells about, 
An' the gobble-uns 'at gits you 
Ei you 
l.on't 

Watch 
Out ! 

Onc't they was a little boy wouldn't say his pray'rs — 

An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs, 

His mamma heerd him holler, an' his daddy heerd him 

bawl, 
An' when they turn't the kiwers down he wasn't there 

at all! 
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room an' cubby-hole an' 

press, 
An' seeked him up the chimney -flue, an' everywhere, I 

guess, 
But all they ever found was thist his pants an' roundabout ! 
And the gobble-uns '11 git you 
Ef you 
Don't 

Watch 
Out! 

An' one time a little-girl *ud alius laugh an 1 grin, 

An' make tun of ever 1 one an' all her blood-an'-kin, 

An' onc't, when they was "company," an' ole folks was 

there, 
She mocked 'em, an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care ! 
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide, 
They was two great big black Tilings a-standin' by her 

side, 
An' they snatched her through the ceihV 'fore she knowed 

what she's about ) 
An' the gobble-uns '11 git you 
Ef you 
Don't 

Watch 
Out! 

An' little Orphan Annie says, when the blaze is blue, 
An' the lampwick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo ! 
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray, 
An' the lightuiu'-bugs in dew is all squenched away — 
You better mind yer parents, an' yer teachers fond an' 

dear, 
An' cherish them 'at love you, an 1 dry the orphant's tear, 
An' he'p the po' an' needy ones 'at clusters all about, 
Er the gobble-uns '11 git you 
Ef you 
'iJon't 

Watch 
Out! 

— James Whitcomb Riley, 



DOT DIS-ABBOINTED COON. 



As I valk me der shtreet ofer, yoost behind der hour mit 
six, 

I vas see me a dis-abbointed coon ; 
He sot him on a rail, mit eyes on Cleveland fixed, 

Und sadly complained to der "Loon." 

Roll out, silver-plated moon, lite der President on his vay 

To a downfall dots cerdain, und soon, 
For nefer, nefer more, droo der coundry vill I stray 

L)alkin' polidicks by der lite of der moon. 

I vonce could hafe lofed him from mornin' to nite 

Und called him both honest und true, 
But he shook me like a rag, und he left me in mine plite 

Und I veej) vhen I dink vat I do. 

Droo dalkin' und shoudin', mine droat it vas sore, 

Mit fitin', mine plood it vas ran 
By mine nose, eyes und mout dot lickquid vas pore 

Eor der 'lection of Mister Cleveland. 

Nod a blace in der cidy, but der kecks dhey got dry 

Vhen I vent on mine lection race, 
Nod a feller, nor a bum, but for Cleveland did cry 

So gwick I vas come of der place. 

Keckermemper, silfer moon, vhen you go on a rolling bust, 
JUot der dark clouds vill surely rise at noon, 

Und unless you vas gilded mit gilt dot don'd vill rust 
You nefer catch dot dis-abbointed coon. 

— National Weekly. 



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interfere with business. J escriptivje pamphlet sent free 
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THE WASP. 



11 




When Victor Hugo was unce asked to write a panegyric 
upon Shakespeare he replied : "Write me a new diction- 
ary first." This must be the feeling of the critic who es- 
says the comprehensive theme of Sal vim's acting. The 
local vocabulary of praise has been so thoroughly exhausted 
by now that it is enough to say that "the master," 
as his dramatic colleagues reverently designate him, 
has created his accustomed furor among us ; and while 
opinions may be divided as to the relative merits of his 
other roles, there is no question that his " Othello " of last 
Tuesday evening was, in a word, the one greatest perform- 
ance ever witnessed on this coast. This massive and flaw- 
less presentation of Shakespeare's greatest soldier will be 
repeated this afternoon. Without attempting, therefore, 
to regild fine gold, it is enough to say that those who de- 
sire a genuine revelation of what the histrionic art is 
capable will be there. The order for the Salvini represen- 
tations for next week will be found elsewhere. 

The enthusiastic audience that crowded the California 
to the doors last Sunday evening was obviously satisfied 
that the management had kept its promise and outdone 
even its two preceding efforts in the production of a final 
triumph of the spectacular art. Sieba, or the Seven Bavens, 
is a play of German origin, upon which has been grafted 
all the wonderful and costly scenic effects, ballets and be. 
wilderingly gorgeous customing for which the Kiralfys are 
celebrated. An ordinary description in type can hardly 
give a satisfactory idea of the many details that go to make 
up the whole of this remarkable aggregation of eye-enchant- 
ing tableaux, martial pomp and unique specialties. They 
must all be seen to be appreciated. It is certain at least 
that the Kiralfy troupe will close their engagement in a 
culmination of sj^ectacular glory which will be their best 
advertisement to our public at their next appearance here. 

Despite the exceptional attractions elsewhere a good 
attendance, greeted the production of Ciprico's After 
Twenty Years at the Bush on Monday evening. Mr. 
Ciprico has evidently improved as a dramatic writer, the 
construction and sequence of his work being smoother and 
more artistic than formerly. The play was most accept- 
ably rendered as to the leading parts, they being intrusted 
to Mr. De Belleville and Miss Isabelle Morris, who strug- 
gled bravely at times with somewhat unnecessarily pro- 
tracted situations ; and a supjiort of which not much can 
be said, except that Mr. Wessels outranted " Ogareff " him- 
self in the rdle of ' ' Senator Yorke. " The play has strong 
passages and not a few effective points, which will im- 
prove by careful handling. The plantation scene is taking, ' 
and the popular prices commend the performance still 
further to the public. 

A most agreeable change to the habitues of the Tivoli 
has been the temporary substitution of the sparkling mu- 
sical comedy, The Widow O'Brien, for the more elaborate 
operas to which this house has been devoted. The better 
opportunities for acting thus afforded has been fully taken 
advantage of by the company, and ' anything more infec- 
tiously amusing than Mr. Kelly as the "Widow," and 
Miss Dingeon as "Dora McAllister," could hardly be 
wished for. The various specialties are fresh and taking, 
especially those of Billy Courtwright and Kelly as "Yum- 
Yum." A charming addition, and an emphatic hit as 
well, is the xylaphone performance by ten exceptionally 
pretty young ladies, who captivate the audience in a per- 
sonal as well as artistic sense. The burlesque Jl-Treated, 
H Trovatore aptly concludes a most delightful enter- 
tainment. 

The bill at the Fountain Theater has been unusually 
good this week, and we question if any more instantly 



successful specialist 1i;ls yet appeared hero than Beaaley, 
whose unique performance i- received aightlj with de- 
lighted applause. Manager Schmitt has made a ten itrifc 
by being the first to present this harmonious prodigy to 
our public, .Mabel i 'overne, another new face, ass 
"caught on" to tlu- susceptibilities of our "young men 
about town," and is a great addition to the performance. 
The popular Pear] ami < assidy team are -till favorites, and 
the rest of tin- performers combine to make this cosy thea- 
ter the best place of its kind now in the city. 

Reed's Minstrels have wisely decided to desert the 
Standard at the expiration "t" the present week to make a 
foray into the "bowels of the land," where the bucolic 
appetite for "chestnuts" will doubtless afford betterfinan- 
cial results. What the management propose in the way of 
attracting public attention to their cosy little theater in the 
interim does not as yet appear, except that the peripatetic 
■Juvenile Mikado Troupe, that has been perfnrmiug at 
\\ n.ulward's Gardens and other temporary places, will en- 
deavor to fill in the coming week. 

CUKE YOUR COLD. 
All persons suffering from Cough, Cold, Asthma, Bron- 
chitis, Loss of Voice or any affection of the Throat ami 
Lungs should try 38 Cough Mixture afid be cured. For 
sale by all druggists. B. J. Rhodes & Co., manufacturers, 
San Jose, Cal. 

KEANE BROS. 
The rush of buyers to Keane Bros, continues. It seems 
to be the fashion now to buy at this celebrated house, and 
the bargains are certainly astonishing. There has never 
been, in the history of the mercantile business of this city, 
such a wholesale sacrifice of dry goods. 



REGRET. 

Doctor of my childhood's day 
In your antiquated shay ! 
Doctor Broctor ! tell me, pray, 

Why did you 
With your well-directed pills 
Cure me of my infant ills 
And, with castor oil and squills, 

Pull me through ? 

When I blossomed out in spots 
With the measles' sightly blots, 
When I writhed with colic's knots, 

Ailing inward ; 
When I found my life a curse 
With my inattentive nurse 
Who indulged in a perverse 

Failing gin-ward ! 

You'd have won my gratitude 
If, while you were at it, you'd 
Shown a bit more latitude 

In your drugs ; 
If you'd come upon the scene 
With a dose of Paris green 
Sacred to the coy, serene 

'Tater-bugs. 

Yet I'll do my duty here 
Which, tho' painfuj it appear, 
Is most obvious and clear 

To my eyes ; 
I '11 become a great M. D. 
Just to poison (lest they be 
Wretched misanthropes, like me) 

Little boys. 



-Life. 



" Vy I didn't buy that ring off Silbermann, eli '. 
Veil, Silbermann vas go in' to marry my vife vunee 
un lie didn't. Ven a man vas schmarier as I, I 
don' do no pizness mit him, ain't it? " 




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THRIFT AND HUMOR. 



An exchange Bays: " Music washes away from the soul 
the 'lust of every-<li.y life." That may he all true enough; 
hut when conceit tickets cost *1.."><J it. takes too much of one 

kind of .lust to wash away the other kind. Bvansvilh 
Argus. 

""Where can you find the milk of human kindness?" 
asked an orator the other day, when a waggish orator 
suggested that it was within the pale of the church, closing 
with the remark that tho Schmitt Villa, Page ami Stanyan 
streets, was the place for a nice lunch. 

HOST (somethimj of •> muttician, trho is vnttrtaininij a 
Kentucky friend at dintur): "Would you like a sonata 
before dinner, Colonel?" THE COLONEL : "Well, 1 don't 
mind. 1 had two on my way here, but I guess I can stand 
another."— New York Times. 

" Can you tell of what race Napoleon came?" said the 
Civil Service examiner. "Why, of Corsican," said the 
candidate. A first-class clerkship was drawn, and the 
smart fellow had a tooth drawn without pain next day by 
C. O. Dean, 1). I). S., No. 120 Kearny street (Thurlow 
Block). 

" What is the difference between tins coffee," asked 
Fogg, "and that beautiful picture over the mantel?" As 
nobody ventured a solution, Fogg continued: "That 
picture is painted in oil, and this coffee is water colored." 
One of those silences which can be felt followed immedi- 
ately, which was broken by the popping of a cork from a 
bottle of Philadelphia lager beer. 

Mahl-stick. — No. An artist's chance for drawing a 
turkey in a raffle is no better than anybody else's, but it is 
a dead sure thing that S. J. Pembrooke, 212 O'Farrell 
street, near Powell, can make an old watch as good as 

new. 

A Chicago boy of 14 years recently ran away from home 
to become a pirate king. He was captured by a policeman 
and returned to his parents. He didn't become that kind 
of a king, but after a brief interview with his father he 
was aching. And the king of the hotel business is Stewart 
McKay of the Truckee Hotel, Truckee. 

When a man is about to be' told a secret he shuts the 
door ; when it is a woman she opens the door to be sure 
there is no one listening outside, but whether the doors 
open or shut A. Finke's widow California champagne, Carte 
Blanche or Imperial Cabinet, is joy to the heart. 

" I beg your pardon, but aren't you mistaken ? " courte- 
ously said a gentleman to a pretty shop girl, with whom 
he was dealing. "I am a miss, but not yet taken, sir," 
she replied, with a bright blush and drooping eyes. Of 
course after so quick a reply he invited her to Moraghan's 
in the California Market for some of those prime oysters. 

Prof. Bell, of telephone fame, says the time is coming 
when people will be able to see as-well as hear one another 
at long distances. We fear this will not benefit the young 
man who wants to "see a man" between the acts of a 
theatrical performance. The young man who wants to 
secure his sweetheart's affection will send her a light run- 
ning Domestic Sewing Machine from J. W. Evans, sole 
agent, 29 Post street. 

They had been "keeping company" for ten years. 
Finally he summoned courage and proposed. She fondly 
replies : "Yes, George, and you have taken such a great 
wait off my heart." And George was so delighted at hav- 
ing clinched the matter that he took her at once to Man- 
ning's, 428 Pine street, for oysters. 

More than three thousand people iu one province of 
Russia are employed in making accordions. When this 
fact becomes generally known, Russia will not have a friend 
in the world, but W. O. Bowers of the Golden Eagle Hotel, 
Sacramento, has hosts of friends, and he deserves them for 
the admirable success with which he makes all the guests 
of the Golden Eagle happy; 

" Do you allow drunken people on the train '! " asked an 
old gentleman on a Fourth-street car. " Sometimes, but not 
when they are too drunk," replied the brakeman ; "just 
take a seat in the middle of the car and keep quiet, and 
you'll be all right." The indignant traveler replied, "I 
drink nothing but Tolenas Springs Soda." 

"Gents," shouted a small boy, as he poked his head 
into a cable car, "did you mail that letter your wife 
gave you this morning?" And six men simultaneously 
pulled the bell-rope and hurriedly left the car to post those 
letters to A. H. Baldwin, 1321 and 1323 Market street, to 
have their carpets cleaned and relayed in one day. 

"Why are two buttons put on the back of a man's 
coat ? " asks a writer. They are put on for the same reason 
that about two hundred and fifty buttons are put on the 
front of a woman's dress — and of course everybody knows 
why a lady's, dress is thus garnished and why the New 
Home Sewing Machine stands so high in the estimation of 
the sex. 

A fashion item says that " no shoe ever equals the slipper 
for feminine house wear." All the same, the small boy 
prefers the shoe, on the foot of his mother. He can get 
out of the front door and around the corner while Bhe is 
unbuttoning a shoe, and his papa can borrow money from 
Uncle Jacobs, 613 Pacific street. 

Man, to be contented anywhere, must carry with him 
the spirit of content. If he desires to dwell in paradise, 
he must make it. And if he wants to dwell in comfort in 
Yolo county let him stay at the Lillard House, Davisville. 

Mr. Otto Normann, 411 Bush street, is the sole agent for 
Lemp's St. Louis beer for the Pacific Coast. 



12 



THE WASP. 



SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

Trains leave, and are due to arrive at 

Oakland Ferry, Foot of Market St., 

SAN FKANCISCO. 



LKAVE 

(for) 


From Oct. 13, 18S5. 


ARRIVE 

(from) 




Bvron 


J6.10 p. 
*10.10 A. 


8.00 A. 


. .Caliatoga and Napa 


•4.00 p. 




6.10 P. 








7.30 A. 


. .Delta,Reddin.r and Portland 


6.40 P. 


*3.30 P. 


. . Gait, via Martinez 


•10.40 A. 


8.00 A. 


. .lone, via Livermore 


5.40 P. 


4.00 p. 


. .Knight's Landing 


10.10 A. 


•5.00 p. 


..Livermore and Pleasanton. 


•S.40A. 


8.00 A. 


. .Martinez 


6.10 P. 






*7.10 P. 


3.30 p. 


) Mojave, Deming j Express 
)" El Paso and Kast ( Emigrant 


10.40 A. 


3.30 p. 


10.10 A. 


10.00 A. 


. .Niles and Havward'a. 


3.40 P. 


3.00 P. 


) Ogden and Eastj iixpres9 
) " " " t Emigraut 


11.10A. 


3.00 P. 


11.10 A. 


7.30 A. 


. .Red Bluff, via Marysville. . . 


6.40 p. 


8.00A. 


. .Sacramento, via Livermore 


5.40 p. 


7.30 a. 


" via Benicia. . . 


6.40 P. 


3.00 p 


" via Penicia. .. 


11.10 A. 


4.00 p. 


" via Benicia. . . 


10.10 A. 


•4.00 p. 


..Sacramento River ateamers 


•6.00 A. 


8.00 A. 

J10.00 A. 

3.00 P. 




•3.40 p. 




{3.40 P. 


" 


9.40 a. 


8.00 a 


..Stockton, via Livermore. .. 


6.40 P. 


"9.30 a. 


" vil Martinez. . .. 


•7.10 P. 


*3.30 P. 


11 via Martinez 


•10.40 A. 


*9.30 A. 


. .Tulare and Fresno 


*7.10 P. 



A for morning. 



p for afternoon. 



From San Francisco, daily. 

To EAST OAKLAND— «6.00, *6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 
8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30. 11.00, 11.30, 
12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00. 6.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 

• 10.00, 11.00, "12.00. 

To FRUIT VALE— '6.00, *6.30, "7.00, "7.30, "8.00, 
. "8.30, *3.30, "4.00, "4.30, "6.00, "5.30, '6.00, 
"6.30, 9.00. 

To FRUIT VALE (via Alameda)— J 9.30, 6.30, 
111.00, "12.00 

To ALAMEDA -"6.00 *6.30, 7.00 "7.30, S.00, 
"8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, }10.30, 11.00, 111.30, 
12.00, 112.30, 1.00, 11.30. 2.00, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 
4.30, 5,00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 
11.00, "12.00. 

To BERKELEY— "6.00, "6.30. 7.00, "7.30, 8.00, 
"8.30, 9.00, 19.30, 10.00, 110.30, 11.00, 111.30, 
12.00. 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 4.30 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 
6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00 "12.00. 

To WEST BERKPLE/— "6.00, "6.30, 7.00, "7.30, 
18.00, *8.30, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00, (1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 
4.00, "4.30, 5.00, "5.30, 6.00, "6.-J0, 7.00. 
To San Francisco, daily. 

From FRUIT VALE -'6.23, "6.f3, "7.23, "7.53, 
"8.23, "8.63, "9.23, "10.21, "4.23, "4.53, "5.23, 
"5.53, "6.23, "6.53, 7.25, 9.t0. 

From FRUIT VALE (via Alameda) -"5.16, '5A% 
16.45, 19.15, "3.15. 

FromE ST OAKLAND— "5.30, "6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 
7.30, 8.00, S.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 
11.30, 12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 
3.30, 4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.57, 
8.67, 9.57, 10.57. 

From BROADWAY, Oakland— 7 minutes later 
than from East Oakland. 

From ALAMEDA -"5.22, "5.52, "6.22, 6.52, "7.22, 
7.52, "8.22, 8.52, 9.22, 9.52, 110.22, 10.52, 111.22, 
11.52, 112.22, 12.62, 11.22, 1.52, 2.52, 3.22, 3.52, 
4.22, 4.62, 6.22, 5.52, 6.22, 6.52, 7.52, S.52, 9.52, 
10.52. 

From BERKELEY— "5.15, "5.45, "6.15, 6.41, 
"7.16, 7.45, "8.15, 8.45, 19.15, 9.45 }10.15, 10.45, 
111.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.45, 2.45, 3.45, 4.15, 4.45, 
5.15, 5.45, 6.15, 6.45, 7.45, 8.45, 9.45, 10.45. 
From WEST BERKELEY- "6.45, "6.15, 6.45, 
"7.15, 7.45, 8.45, 19.15, 9.45, 10.45, 112.45, 1.45, 
2.45, 3.45, 4.45, "5.15, 6.45, "6.15, 6.45, "7.15. 

*'rcck Knutc. 
From SAN FRANCISCO— "7.15, 9.15, 11.15, 1.15, 

3.15, 5.15. 
From OAKLAND— "6.15, 8.15, 10.15, 12.15, 2.15, 

4.15. 



* Sundays excepted 1 Sundays only. 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co. , S.F. 



A. N. TOWNE, T, H. GOODMAN, 

Gen. Manager. Gen. Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



ACENTS WANTED. 

Patent Amateur Vise. The 
neatest and handiest little tool 
I out. Needed by everyone. No 
talking is necessary. The Vise 
sells itself, and they go like 
"hot cakes." Sample and Agents' Prices post- 
paid on receipt of SOc. L. H. MOISE, Sole 
Agent, 320 Sansome street, room 35, S. F. 



A PRIZE.- 



Northern Division 

SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

TIME SCHEDULE. 

Passenger Trains Leave an Arrive 

Passenger Depot Townsend street, bet. Third 
and Fourth streets, San Francisco. 



lbave Commencing Oct. IS, arrivr 
1SS5. s. F. 



t 6.40 a. 
8.30 A. 
10.40 a. 

* 3.30 p. 
4.30 P. 

* 5.15 P. 
6.30 P. 



.San Mateo, Redwood and. 
. .Menlo Park 



* S.IOa. 
I 9.03 A. 

j no. 02 a. 

3.36 p. 

t 5.02 P. 
6.0S P. 



8.30 A. 
10.40 a. 

430 p ' -P rmc ip a l Way Stations. . 



.Santa Clara San Jose and. 



10.40 a. 
* 3.30 P. 



Send six cents for post- 
age, and Teeeive free, a 
costly box of goods which 
■ will help all, of either sex, 
to more money right away than anything else in 
this world. Fortunes await the workers abso- 
lutely sure. Terms mailed free. TRUE & CO. , 
Augusta, Maine. 

A DIP nCCCD ^ introduce them, we 
Dlu UrrLn. will give away looo 
Self-Operating Washing Machines. If you want 
one send us your name, P.O. and express office 
at once. The Rational Co., 23 I>ey St. 
New York, 



10.40 A. 
* 3.30 P. 



10.40 a. 
* 3.30 p. 



.Gilroy,Pajaro, r astroville. 
. ..Salinas and Monterey. . . 



. Hollister and Tres Pinos . . 



... Watsonville, Aptos, 

.Soquel (■ amp Capitola),. 
and Santa Cruz 



10.40 a. .Soledad and Way Stations. 



9.03 a. 

*10.02 A. 

3.36 p. 

6.0S p. 



a. — Morn ng. p.— Afternc 

* Sundays excepts 
t Sundays only (Sportsmen's train). 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co. , S. p . 



STAGE C >NNECTIONS are made with the 
10.40 a. m. train, except Pescadt ro stages via 
San Mateo and Redwo- d, which connect with 
8.30 a. m. train. 



EXCURSION TICKETS. 

For Sundays only— Sold Sunday Morning and 
for 1.30 p.m. traip; good for rcturutame 
day. 

For Saturday, Sunday and Monday - Sold Sat- 
urday and Sunday only ; good for return 
until following Monday, inclusive. 



Uinni/ FOR ATjIi. SSO a week and ex- 

ItUlllV pensespaid. Outfit worth *;"> and par- 
ticulars free. .P. O. VICKERY, Augusta, Maine. 



S. F. & NORTH PACIFIC R. R. 

(Broad Gauge.) 

Commencing Sund:iy, January 3, 1SSG, 

and until further notice, boats and trains will 
leave from and arrive at San Francisco Passen- 
ger Depot, Market street wharf, as follows: 



Leave 
San Francisco. 



Destina- 
tion. 



Arrive in 

San Francisco. 



Week 
Days. 



Sun " I Petaluma, I 
DMS - I Santa Rosa, 
I Fulton, I 
Windsor, I 



Wbbk 
Days. 



I Healdsbui _ 

■ S.00 All I Cloverdale. 

J.30 pm I j & way stns 



| 8.50 AM 



3.05 I'M 



7.45 am 3.00 am | Gm-rneville i 6 10 pm | 6.05 pm 



Tickrt Of picks — Passenger Depot, Townsend 
street, Valencia-street Station, and No. 673 
Market street. Grand Hotel. 
A. C. BASSET?, H. R. JUDAH, 

Superintendent. Asst. Pass. & Tkt. Agt 



SOUTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



Passenger Trains leave Station, foot of Market 
street, South Side at 

8nn A. M., daily, for Alvarado, Newark, 
.OU Centerville, Alviso, Santa Clara, SAN 
JOSE, Los Gatos, Wrights, Glenwood, Felton, 
Big Trees, Boulder Creek, SANTA CRUZ and 
all Way Stations. 

2 Art P. M. (except Sunday), Express: Mt. 
■ OU Eden, Alvarado, Newark, Centerville, 
Alviso, Agnews, Santa Clara, SAN JOSE, Los 
Gatos, Boulder Creek and all stations to SANTA 
CRUZ. 

4rtrt P. M., daily, for SAN JOSE, Los Gatos 
■ OU and intermediate points. 

4 Art A. M., every Sunday, Hunters' Train 
• UU to San Jose, stopping at all Way 

Stations. 

flJC EXCURSIONS TO SANTA CRUZ and 
0>U BOULDER CREEK, and $3.50 to SAN 
JOSE, on Saturdays and Sundays, to return on 
Monday, inclusive. 

$1.75 to SANTA CLARA and SAN JOSE 
and return. Sundays only. - 

AH through trains connect at Felton for Boul- 
der Creek and points on Felton and Pe^cadero 
Railroad. 



TO OAKI,AKI» ANfk ALAMEIftA. 

§6.00, §e.30, §7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 
10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30 A. M. "112.00, 12.30, 
11 00, 1.30, 12.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 4 00, 4.30, 5.00 
5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30. 10.45, 11.45 
P.M. 

From Fourteenth and Webster streets, 
Oakland— §5.30, §6.00, §6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 
8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 111.00, 11.30 A. M. 
112.00, 12.30, 11.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 
9.30, 10.45, 11.45 P. M. 

From High street, Alameda— §5.16, §6.46, 
§6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 7.46, 8.16, S.46. 9.16. 9.46, 
10.16, 110.46, 11.16, 111.46 A. M. 12 16, 112.46, 
1.16, 1.46, 2.16, 2.46, 3.16, 3.46, 4.16, 4.46, 5.16,- 
5.46, 6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 9.16, 10.31, 11.31 P M. 

§ Sundays excepted. 
1 Sundays onl>. 

TICKET, Telegraph and Transfer offices 222 
Montgomery street, S. F. 

L. FILLMORE, W. T. FITZGERALD, 

Superintendent. G. F. & P. Agt 



Stages connect at Santa Rosa for ^ebastopol 
and U ark West Springs; at Clairville for Skaggs' 
Springs, and at Cloverdale for Highland Springs, 
Kelseyville, Soda Bay, Lakeport, Saratoga 
Springs, Blue Lake*, Bartlett Springs, Ukiah, 
Eureka, Navarro Ridge, Mendocino city a-.d the 
Geysers'. 

EXCURSION TICKETS from Saturdays to 
Mondays— To Petaluma, §1.75; to Santa Rosa, 
S3; to Healdsburg;, §4; to Cloverdale, §5. 

EXCURSION TICKETS, good for Sundays 
only— To Petaluma, §1.50; to Santa Rosa, §2; 
to Healdsburg, S3 ; to Cloverdale, S4.50 ; to 
Guerneville, §3. 

From San Francisco for Point Tiburon and 
San Bafael— Week days : 7.45 a. m., 9.15 A. m., 
3.30 p.m., 5 p. m., 6.10* p. M. Sundays: 8 
A. M , 10.15 A. M., 1 p. M., 5 p. M. 

To San Francisco from San Rafael — Week 
days: 6.30 a. si., 8 a.m., 10.30 a. m., 3.40 p. m., 
5.05 P. M. Sundays: 8.10 A. M , ll 30 A M., 
3 P. M., 5 P. M. 

To San Francisco from Point Tiburon — Week 
days : 7 A. M., S.20 a. m., 10.55 A. M., 4.05 p. M., 
5.30 p. M.' Sundays: S.35 a. m., 11 55 a. m., 
3.25 p. m., 5.30 P. M. 

* There will be no 6.10 p. m. boau from San 
Francisco on Saturdays. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McGLYNN.Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Ag-t. 

Ticket Ortices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SONOMA VALLEY RMLROAD. 

Steamt-r Jimes ". Donahue leaves San Fran- 
c'seo and connects with trains at Somma Land 
ing as follows : 

4 ft ft I'. M., daily (Sundays excepted), from 
■ UU Washington-strett wharf, for the tiwn 
of Sonoma, Glen Ellen and way points. 
SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8QA. A. M. (Sundays only), from Washing- 
,ZU i u-btreet wharf for the t .\vn of So- 
noma, Glen Ellen and way points. Round-trip 
tickets to aonoma, §1 ; Glen Ellen, §1.50. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McGLYNN, Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Agt. 
Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SAUCELITO, SAN RAFAEL, SAN QUENTIN, 

NORTH PACIFIC^ COAST R. R. 

TIME TABLE 

Couimeiieina; Sunday, Nov. 8. 1*85, 

and until fur' her notice, Boats and Trains 
will runs as follows : 

For SAN RAFAEL and SAUCELITO (week 
days) -9.20, 11.20 A. M., 3.35, 5.05 p. M. 

(Sundays)— S.00, 10.00, 11.30 a. M., 1.30, 3.15, 
5.15 p. m. 

Extra trip on Saturday at 1.30 p. M. 



From SAN RAFAEL ( 


wt 


ek da, a)— 


7.45 


9.20, 


11.35 A. M., 


3.30 r. 


M. 












(Sundays 


-8.05 


10.10 


A 


M., 


ia.ui 


M., 


1.36, 


3.20, 5.15 p 


M. 















From SAUCELIIO (week days)— 8.16, 9.55 
A. M , 12.20, 4.05 p. M. 

(Sundays)— 8.40, 10.45 A. M., 12.35, 2.15, 4.00 
6.00 P. M. 

Extra trips— From Saucelito on Saturday at 
2.30, 6.00 p. M. 

11.20 A. HI., Daily, Sundays excepted, 
THR 'UGH TRAINS for Duncan Mills and way 
stations. (Through train from Duncan Mills 
arrive in San Francisco at 12.50 p. M.) 



STA iE (JONlsECL'IONS. 
Stages leave Duncan Mills every morning, ex- 
cept Mondays, for Stewart's Point, Gualala, Point 
Arena, Cuffey's Cove, Navarro, Mendocino, and 
all p -hits on the worth Coast. 



THIRTY-DAY EXCURSIONS 

Bound-trip Tickets, good for thirty diys to 

and from all points north of San Anstlmo, at 

twenty-five per cent, reduction from single 

tariff r.ite. 



SATURDAY TO MONDAY EXCURSIONS. 

Excursion tickets s 'Id on Saturday, good to 
return following Monday : Fairfax, S1.00 ; Camp 
Taylor, §1.75 ; Point Reyes, $2.00.; Tomales, 
§3.00; Duncan Mills, $4. 



SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8.00 A. HI. (Sundays only) Excursion Train 
for Camp Taylor, Tomales and way stations. 
Returning, arrive in San Francisco at 6.30 p. m. 

Fares for round trip— Camp Taylor, §1.50 ; 
Point Reyes, §1.75 ; Tomales, §2.50. 

J. W. COLEMAN, F. B. LATHAM, 

General Manager. Gen'l Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 

GENERAL OFFICES, 327 PINE STREET. 



PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP 

COMPANY. 



Steamers of this Company wil' 

.-r=g->^,sail from Broadway Wharf, San 

Francisco, for ports in California, 

Oregon, Washington and Idaho 

Territories, tmtish Columbia and Alaska, as fol- 
lows : 

• Hllfornla Southern Coast Route- 
Steamers will sail about every second day a. w. 
for the following ports (excepting San Diego, 
every fifth day), viz; Santa Cruz, Monterey, 
San Simeon, Cayucos, Port Harford, San Luis 
Obispo, Gaviota, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Hue 
neme, S-.n Pedro, Los Angeles and San Diego. 

British Columbia and Alaska Route* 

SteaniBhip IDAHO, carrying U. S. Mails, sails 
from Portland, Oregon, on or about the 1st o* 
each month, for Port Townsend, W. T., Victoria, 
and Sanaimo, B. C, Fort Wrangel, Sitka and 
Harriiburg, Alaska, connecting at Port Town 
send with Victoria and Puget Sound. Steamer 
leaving San Francisco on or about the first 
the same montb. 

Mctorla «nd Fugcl Sound Route.— 

The steamer? GEO. W. ELDER and QUEEN OF 
THE PACTF C carrying Her Britanic Majesty's 
and itcd States mails, sail from Broadway 
Wharf, an Francisco, at 10 A. m., on February 
6tb, 14th, 22d, March 2d, 10th, ISth, 26th, April 
3d, 11th, and every eighth day thereafter for 
Victoria, B.C., Port TownBend, -eattle, Tacoma, 
Steilacoom and Olympia, making close onnec- 
tion with steamboats, etc., for ^kagit River and 
Cassiar winee.Nanaimo, New Vestminster.Yale, 
Sitka and all other impor art points. Return- 
ing, leave Seattle and Port Townsend on Feb. 
7th, 14th, 22d, March 2d, and -verv eighth day 
thereafter, and Victoria on Feb. 8th, 15th, 23d, 
March 3d, and every iighth day thereafter. 

*"<*rlla]id, Oregon, Route.— The Oregon 
Rail vay and Navigation Company and the Pa- 
cific Coast Steamship Company dispatch from 
Spear Street Wharf one of the steamships 
OREGON, CO TMBIA, STATE OF CALI- 
FORNIA and GEO. W. ELDER, carrying the 
United States Mail. H tiling dava- Feb. 2d, 
7th 12th, 17th, 22d, 27th, Manh 4th, aud every 
following fifth lay tor Portland md Astoria, 
OrcgOD. 

r.ureha and Unmboldt Ray Route.— 

Steamer AN ON sails from Swn 'anclsco for 
Kureka, Areata, Hookton (Hum lit Bay) every 
Wednesday at 9 A. M. 

Polnl Arena and Mendorino Route.— 

Steamer YAQUINA sail" from Broadway 
Wharf, San Francisco, at 3 p.-m. every Mondaj 
for Point Arenas, Cuffey'8 Cnve, Little Rtier 
and Mendocino. 

TICKET OFFICE, 214 Montgomery SI. 

(Opposite the Russ Houbg) 

G00DALL, PERKINS & CO,, General Agents 
No. 10 Market St. San Francisco. 



CARD. 

THE WESTERN 

Fire and Marine 

INSURANCE CO. 

OF CALIFORNIA. 

TO THE INSURING PUBLIC. 

Notwithstanding: the various 
reports to the contrary, the 
Western Fire and Marine Insur- 
ance Company has no intention 
of withdrawing from business, 
but invites the generous patron- 
age of the public, as heretofore 
extended to them. 

P. J.WHITE, 

President. 

GEO. H. WHEATOX, 

Vice-President. 
GEO. W. SESSION, 

Secretary. 

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE: 
Geo. H. Wheaton, John Fay, 

Jos. Ittaedonough, M. Kane, 

A. Tensano. 



THE WASP. 



13 



A DISTINCTION. 

I keep u|kiii an upper shelf 

Two species of cigars ; 
One w the kind i smoke m\ -■It. 
An. I one for the intruding elf 

Whose <lnn my pleasure mars. 

Whene'er :' friend cornea in t>> call, 

I offer bun my best ; 
Hi.- nmijflH, Berenely smokes it all. 
It-* odora hoM his mind in thrall, 

He feels that lie is blest. 

But, i >, what misery and pain 

Lurks in my Becond kind '. 
All antidotes are quite in vain : 
Who smokes shall never smile again, 

But leaves all hope behind. 

My landlord, to upbraid inclined, 

Last week I eallnl u|i<m ; 

He mud, ""Young man, your rent's be- 
hind ! " 
I offered him my second kind — 
He smoked — his mind is gone. 

A panning wight who often joked 
In style impertinent ; 

My laundress' hoy whose words pro- 
voked ; 
Both these my second brand have 
smoked — 
Their raiment is to rent. 

If this should meet my tailor's eyes, 

Twill warn him to take care ; 
These two cigars I so devise 
That none the difference can surmise, 
So he had best beware. 

— Chicago Rambler. 



WIl'MEMEVTS. 



Bush-street Theater. 

M. It. LBAVrrr Lessee and Pi 

Chas P. Hall u 

Engagement for this Meek Only. 

ENTHU81 iSTIC SUCCESS. 
Gi orgi U CIprico'i Great ami rican Drama, 

AFTER TWENTY YEARS. 

A I'la\ of intense human interest, introdileiiiK 

Miss ISABEL MORKIS, 

MK. FRED. DE BELLEVILLE 
Ami the Strongest Arraj ol Dramatic Artists 
collected in one company since the d u a ol 
BARRETT and McCULLOUGH. 

THE VIRGINIA JUBILEE SINGERS. 

MoeNLH.ni DAKCB 01 HIK PlCKUJINNIES. ETC. 

FAMILY MATINEE TO-DAY. 



DEPARTED WORTH. 
ON AN INDIAN AGENT. 

Grand was the funeral pageant. 

He's gone where the virtuous go. 
For he was an Indian agent 

Wlio never had robbed poor Lo. 

ON A BUTCHEE. 

With tears of grief our eyes are dimmed. 

Death came ; he sought not to evade it. 
Good, honest man, he always trimmed 

The meat before he weighed it. 

ON A CHIROPODIST. 
When trouble was afoot, and grief 

And pain the heart opprest, 
To many a sole he gave relief — 

We trust his soul's at rest. 

ON A COAL DEALER. 

He gave full weight to all, 'tis said, 
And did it without vaunting ; 

When in the balance he is weighed 
He will not be found wanting. 

ON AN OFFICER OF A SOCIETY. 

A man of letters, it seems, was be ; 
The college made him an LL. D., 
The Order a P. G. W. C. 
Grim death has given him the G. B. 
And may his ashes E. I. P. 

— Boston Courier. 



NOTICE TO CREDITORS. 

TESTATE OF CHRISTINA M. HEDLUND, 
-*- i deceased. —Notice is hereby given by the 
undersigned, Executrix of the 'Last Will and 
Testament of Christina M. Hedlund, deceased, 
to the creditors of, and all persons having- claims 
against the said deceased, to exhibit them with 
the necessary vouchers, within ten months after 
the first publication of this notice, to the said 
Executrix, at the office of Charles F. Hanlon, at 
Phelan's Building, 806 Market street, rooms 16 
and 44, the same being her place for the trans- 
action of the business of the said Estate in the 
City and County of San Francisco, State of Cali- 
fornia. MRS. M. NELSON, 

Executrix of the Last Will and Testament of 
Christina M. Hedlund, deceased. 

Dated at San Francisco, January 18, 1886. 

Charles F. Hanlon, Attorney for Executrix. 



Magnolia Balm 

is a secret aid to beauty. 
Many a lady owes her fresh- 
ness to it, who would rather 
not tell, and you can't tell. 



Popular Prices. 



Popular Prices. 



Tivoli Opera II < . 

Eddy street, near Market. 
Kkkli.nii Bros. . .Sole Proprietors and Managers. 

HOUSES CROWDED NIGHTLY. 
SECOND WEEK ! SECOND WEEK ! 

OF T11E UNPRECEDENTED Sl'CCEBS, 



| THE WIDOW O'BRIEN ! 

Or. A M^lii on the Sound. 

&3T Admission,- 25c. ; Reserved Seats, 60c. ^S 



Xlie Fount si in Theater. 

Corner Sutter and Kearny streets. 
Geo. Sciimitt Sole Proprietor and Manager 

E\ery Evening During the Week. 

Crowded House Electrified by the .Musical King, 

S. €i. BEASIiEY. 

Flattering Reception of the Wonderful Vocalist, 
MAIJEE DEYEME. 

Still winning Unbounded Approbation, 
Mabel-PEAUL & CASSIDY-John 

Together with the Fountain Stock Co. 



PANORAMA. 

THE 

BATTLE OF WATERLOO. 

Cor. Eddy and Mason Sts. 

Open daily from 9 a. m. to 11 r. si. 



C. L. BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

Poultry and Wild Game 

65, <!<>, V>7 California Market, 

San Francisco. All orders attended to at the 
Shortest Notice. Goods delivered Free of Charge 
to any part of the City. 



DUFFEY & O'BRIEN, 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

POULTRY <fc GAME. 

Stalls 3 & 4 California Market, 

California St. entrance) San Fi-ancisco. 

Now is the Time to Buy Cheap 

GAS FIXTURES, 

PLUMBING MATERIAL, 
Chandeliers, etc. 

ON ACCOUNT OK RETIRING KI10.M BUSINESS. 

J. K. PRIOR, 

113S Market St. anil 21 Turk St. 




fetjfcfteu 

IrpmwTEDISPENSARY. 

SO 1 ' "Kearny St. San Francisco, Cat. 

Incorporated under the l.v, . erf Calif '"'^ for the 
Spccilv .1 >■! ■-■ '■""'"■ i '"■- "i l "■■ '■'■■ Nervous. 
IVa :■.■'■' ■>■ ■ D 
THE EXPERT SPECIALIST. 

SR. ALLEN Isa R il C I i-m, cdu- 

ivdo In College and University of Mich- 
He lUb It ll .> lil ' 

most txftri Sur^L-uii in his Specialty vn Hie 
I'm id'. Coast. 

JUEX OP AT.E AGES 

Who suffer from die effects <■( y< luthful fi illies, or excesses 
in maturcr yc/irs, Nervous ana Ph) i II '■ bility, Loss of 

;wl Memory, S<.-Iiiiu.>l AV ' ' . I'' 1 UtOlriUBIi 

Stomach, Liver, Kidney And Bladder D i ■ .tic Rc- 

liiciul-crtli.it I ■%' n i_..ii.l im-.i i. in -I i . • ,'f '. !■- ■ ledies, 1 >r. 

A I!, ii li i.w:m hi-. <1 lir.lt. ,i :i. till., t II n-i.7 .»//. r./twt 

unly .Jiiiostiiiuii.-.li.ac relief. but I'KHMANl.NT CURB. 
HOSPITAL, EXPERIENCE. 
Dr. Allen v is for many years Surgeon in three Eastern 
Hospitals, which expericm ■: has been one of the step- 
icsto liis gr--.it su- ■ ess. llo wishes it distinctly 

a idersi I that he dues not claim 10 do impossibilities. 

lie claims only, to be asW/fn/anA ir<cc<-ss/ul Physician 

•Hid Sunjcuu. '-■■■'! inform. ■ il m lnsslJi.t-i.iUv 

diseases of juisn: 

M>'A.wMff>r'"ii"(k''V'--ninallc.ises— nocxpcrimenlinrr. 
. RAHLE CASES TREATED. I wilfguarantee a 
/.'k tvecure in every c ise I undertake. Consultation in 
ollicc or by letter FKEB and confidentiaL Charges 
moderate. Office Hours to 3 duly, 6 to 8 evenings, 
Suttd yoto 1 ■-■ onlv. Call or address 

DR. ALLEN. JSA Kearny St., San Francisco. CaL 

SW Mention tiiih Paper. 

Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEARNY STREET. 

Still treats, with the same wonderful success as of 

old, all CHRONIC, PRIVATE, NERVOUS, and WASTING 

diseases, such as NERVOUS DEbiLiTV, i.ossof VITAL- 
ITY, PROSTATITIS, KIDNEY. BLADDI-R and LIVER 



DR. MlNTlEisa REGULAR PHYSICIAN graduate 

Ol* THE OLDEST COLLECH IN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known over the entire I'acilic 
const from Ins louy and successful career in the practice 
of his specialty in this city, making cures in many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a term of years 

HOUSE PHYSICIAN, 
Or RESIDENT SURGEON, iii the Orthopedic Hospital at 
I'lnl.i.lelphia. and he would say to Young Men who arc 
suffering from the effects of YOUTHFUL follies and 
MIDDLE-AGED MEN who are PREMATURELY OLD con- 
Suit one who has made your disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Doctor will apree to forfeit $1,000 for a case of this 
kind he takes aod fails to cure. 

DR. MlNTIE is sole proprietor of the nmv famous 
English remedy, the SIR ASTLEY COPER VITAL RES- 
TORATIVE, which he furnishes free to patients. 

CONSULTA-.TON FREE. Thorough examination and 

advice including chemical analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest opinion given in 

Office Hours — 9 to 3 daily; evenings, 6 to 8; Sunday 
K to 1 only. Call o r add ress, 

A. E. MINTLE, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 



TO THE UNFORTUNATE! 

Dr. GIBBON'S DISPENSARY 

6L ~\ O KEAR- 
%20 NY ST. 

San Francisco — Es- 
tablished in 1854 for 
the treatment and 
cure of Special Dis- 
eases, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases wearing: on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, PER- 
MANENTLY CURED: the 
sick and afflicted 
n [should not fail to call 
^upon him. The Doc- 
Sv&tor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining: a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doctor cures when others fail. Try him. DR. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cure. Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HOME. All communications strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J. F. GIBBON, Box 1957, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 




TRIAL 
BOTTLE 



S l 



F IC'EST TO 

ow the merits of 

DIt.SALIIELirS 

: KM.H VKXATOIt 

THE GREAT 
STRENGTHENING 
REMEDY and NERVE 
Pnrp : TONIC, will be sent to 

FKPP : any one afflicted with 

■ ■ ■*■« ; Nervous Debility, Loss 

It J J of Vitality, Involuntary 

Drains, Organic Weakness, Loss of Manhood, 
etc., the results of youthful follies and excesses, 
for which it is a never-failing cure. As also 
Kidney and Bladder Complaints, Impurities of 
the Blood and Diseases of the Skin, Pimples, 
Eruptions, etc. Communications strictly confi- 
dential. Consultation by letter or at office free. 
Call or address 

I>K. C. D. SAL,FIEr,D, 
310 Kearny St., San Franciseo,Cal. 



r% II p ^J Instant relief. Final cure in 
r IULOi 10 '!.'.■-■. and never returns. 
No purge, no salve, no suppository. Sufferers 
will learn of a simple remedy. Free, by address- 
ing C. J. MASON, 78 Nassau st, N. Y. 




NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL" 

TA UK ANT'S EXTRACT 



CUBEBS AND COPAIBA 

Is an old, tried remedy 
i'ir gonorrhoea, gleet, 
and all diseases of the 

urinary organs. Its 
neat, portable form, 

freedom from taste and 

speedy action (it frc- 
-iiii'iith cures in three 
or tour daj a and always 
in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make " Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the most desira- 
ble remedy ever manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud nee 
that cacn package has a bad STRIP across the face 
of label, with thesignaturo of TARRANT & CO., 
N. Y., upon it. 

PRICE SI. 
Sold by all DrnggiHtM. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- 
voring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, 8,<K)u,000 jars. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feel grateful." — See " Medical 
Press," " Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fac-simile of Baron 
Lit/big's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title "Baron Liebig" and pho- 
tograph having been largely used by deal- 
ers with no connection with Baron Liebig) 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness. 

LIEBIC COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. To be had of all Storekeepers, 

Grocers and Chemists. Sole agents for the 

United States (wholesale only) C. David & 

Co., Fenchurch Avenue, London, Eng. 

Sold Wholesale by RICHARDS & 

IIARKISOX, and I,\\<-M;Y A 

MICHAELS. 

PENNYROYAL PILLS. 

"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations. Indispensiblc to Ladies. AsIc 
your Druggist for "Chichester's Eng- 
lish." and take no other, or inclose 4 cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars in letter by return 
mail. XAME PAPER. Chichester 
Chemical Co., 2313 lladison Sq're, 
Philadelphia, Pa. 

TRADE supplied by GEO. C. GOODWIN 
& CO., Wholesale Agents, Ronton. Mass. 

ESTABLISHED, S. F., 1SG3. 




THE MOST COMPLICATED CASES OF 

DEFECTIVE VISION 

Thoroughly diagnosed, free of charge, and 
kinds of Lenses made to order. 

SPECTACLES, 

Their adaptation to the various conditions of 
sight have been my specialty for :t<ti Years. 

Compound Astigmatic Lenses 

Mounted to Order at Two Hours' Notice. 

OPTICIAN, 

135 Montgomery St., near Bush. 

Orders by Mail or Express promptly 
attended to. 



14 



THE WASP. 



DIEECTOEY OF THE BEST 

HOTELS AND WATERING PLACES 
ON THE PACIFIC COAST. 

MEEICAN HOTEL, HAYWAELS, CAL. THE 
best family hotel. SI per day, @5 and S6 per week. 
Agency, for buying and selling real estate, farms, 
houses and lot's. J. D. AUSTIN, Proprietor. 

UZEEAIS HOUSE, SAN JOSE, CAL. FIEST- 
class ; European plan. Eooms 30c. to S2 per night, 
©5 to S35 per month. Finest Sample Eooms in the 
city. P. M. SMITH, Proprietor. 

YEON SPRINGS, 2i MILES FEOM BYEON 
Station, on C. P. K. E. Climate perfection. Hot 
s ulphur mud baths. Try them. 

ENTEAL HOUSE, 818, 820 & 822 K STEEET, 
Sacramento, Cal. Meals 25c. Street cars from depot 
pass the door every 5 minutes. 
HOENLEIN BEOS., Proprietors. 

ONGEESS SPEINGS (SANTA CLAEA CO UN- 
ty). Take 8:30 A. ar. and 2:30 p. M. S. P. C. E. E. to 
Los Gatos. W. H. STEDMAN, Proprietor. 

L PASO DE EOBLES HOT & COLD SITLPHUE 
Springs. Eheumatism, Scrofula and Skin diseases 
positively cured, as hundreds can testify. 



B 



E 



E 



STUDILLO HOUSE, SAN LEANDEO, CAL. 

First-class. Every attention paid to transient guests; 
meals at all hours ; private rooms ; fresh oysters, etc. 
P. GODCHAU X, Proprietor. 

FARMERS' HOTEL, PLEASANTON, CAL. 
Board and lodging $1 per day, 85 and S6 per week ; 
meals 25c. Best of wines, liquors and cigars on hand. 
BBE0SS BEOS., Proprietors. 

GERMANIA HOTEL, LIVERMORE, CAL. 
Meals 25c. ; lodgings 25c. ; board and lodging $5 per 
week. Good accommodations. Choice liquors and 
cigars. JACOB JOHNSON, Proprietor. 

ILROY HOT MINERAL SPRINGS. OPEN ALL 
the year. Cures Rheumatism and kindred com- 
plaints. Send for circular. 



& 



& 



OLDEN HAGLE HOTEL, 7th & J STEEETS, 
Sacramento, Cal. First-class. 'Bus at every train. 
W. O. (JOE) BOWEBS, Proprietor. 



& 



H 



H 
I 



RAND CENTRAL HOTEL, STOCKTON, CAL. 
Rates SI. 25 to §2.00; special rates to permanent 
boarders. Free 'bus to and from hotel. 
JOHN HENDERSON, Proprietor. 

AYWARDS HOTEL, HAYWARDS, CAL. 

Pleasant and agreeable, with home comforts. Round- 
trip tickets from S. F., Friday A. M. to Tuesday 
, only 75c. F. A. WILDER, Proprietor. 

IGHLAND SPRINGS (25 SPRINGS), LAKE CO., 
Cal. Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Malaria, and 
Kidney, Bladder, Liver and Dyspeptic diseases. 
C. M. BATES, Proprietor. 

NTERNATIONAL HOTEL, EUREKA, NEVADA. 

Three-story brick, fireproof. Suits of Rooms for 
Families and Commercial Travelers. 



I 



K 



NTERNATIONAL HOTEL, 320 TO 32(5 K ST., 
Sacramento, Cal. The Leading Business and Family 
Hotel. Board and room SI and 81.25 per day; board 

S4 per week. Free Tsus to and from hotel. 

• W. A. CASWELL, Proprietor. 

IRON-SULPHUR SPRINGS, 13 MILES FROM 
Los Angeles, within 2 miles of Railroad. Best of Iron, 
Sulphur and Magnesia drinking waters. Hot Sulphur 
Bat hs. Fulton Wells P. O. 

ENT'S NEWLAND HOUSE, CORNER 7th AND 
Washington streets, Oakland, Cal. Choice Rooms, 
by the Day, Week or Month. 



ILLARD HOUSE, DAYISVILLE, YOLO CO., 

■ Cal. New and well furnished. Terms reasonable. 
' 20 minutes for lunch or dinner while changing cars. 
J. T. LILLARD, Proprietor. 

IVERMORE HOTEL, LIVERMORE, CAL. 

■ First-class accommodations. Free coach to and from 
^ trains. G. S. LANGAN, Proprietor. 



M 



AGNOLIA HOTEL, CALISTOGA, CALIFOB- 
nia. Terms reasonable. Solid comfort at this 
house. J. A. CgESEBOEO, Proprietor. 



N 



APA SODA SPRINGS. OPEN ALL THE 
year round. Hot and Cold Napa Soda Baths. 
Billiards, Bar and Ten Pins. 
JACKSON & WOOSTER, Proprietors. 







AKES' HOTEL, HAYWARDS, CAL. THE 
popular resort of the Pacific Coast. Finest hotel ac- 
commodations to be found anywhere. 
TONY OAKES, Proprietor. 



PACIFIC HOTEL, 5th & K STS., SACRAMENTO, 
Cal. Best Family Hotel in the city ; centrally located ; 
street-cars pass door every 5 minutes. Meals 25c. 

MRS. C. F. SINGLETON, Proprietress. 



)ALACE HOTEL, UKIAH, CAL. SPLENDID 

New Brick Building. General Stage House. 
W. A. HAGANS, Proprietor. 

)ARAISO SPRINGS. CAPTAIN FOSTER, FOR- 
merly of the ' ' Cliff House, " proprietor. Will be re- 
fitted and refurnished for this season's b usiness. 

)LEASANTON HOTEL, PLEASANTON, CAL. 
Dan. McCaw, prop. , invites his friends and the travel- 
ing public to give him a call. Terms reasonable. 



R HO ADS & TOWNSEND HOUSE, COR. 2d & J 
streets, Sacramento, Cal. Sample Rooms for Com- 
mercial men. Choice wines and liquors. Pleasant 
rooms in suite or single. 

OSE HOTEL, PLEASANTON, CAL. WINTER 

and summer resort for pleasure and health. 

COL. C. J. PULLEN, Proprietor. 



R 



AN LEANDEO HOTEL, SAN LEANDEO, CAL. 
SI to SI. 50 per day, So to S7 per week. Good ac- 
commodations. Fine wines, liquors and cigars. 
N. HENBIKSEN, Proprietor. 

HANNON HOUSE, LATHEOP, CAL. (WEST 
side of track. ) No Chinese. Trains stop 20 minutes 
for meals, 25c. Don't make a mistake. 

E. T. SHANNON-, Proprietor. 



STATE HOUSE, COE. K & 10th STS., SACEA- 
mento, Cal. Board S4 per week. Single rooms 50c, 
family rooms SI to S2.50, board with lodging SB to S12 
per week. Free 'bus to and from hotel. 
CHAS. H. JENKINS, Proprietor. 



s 



w 



T. JAMES HOTEL, SAN JOSE, CAL. FLRST- 
class in every respect. American plan : 82 to §2. 50 per 
day. Coach at depot. TYLER BEACH, Prop. 

1RUCKEE HOTEL, TRUCKEE, CAL. C. P. R. 
R. Passenger Depot and General Stage office. Good 

meals, reasonable prices and prompt attention. 
STEWART McKAY, Proprietor. 

ASHINGTON HOTEL, LIVERMORE, CAL. 

First-class ; terms reasonable ; good rooms ; good 
table. Sample rooms for commercial men. 

J. BARDELLINI, Manager. 



ro SEMITE HOUSE, STOCKTON, CAL. FIRST 
Class. Rates 82 and §3 per day. General ticket 
office for Big Trees, Yosemite Valley, etc. 

WM. WRENCH, Proprietor. 



Mistress : Bridget, we will have cotelettes for 
breakfast to-morrow morning. 

Bridget : The girls don't like cotelettes, marm. 

Mistress : But I like cotelettes. 

Bridget : It is hardly worth while to get them 
for one. 



$1,000 REWARD 




For one of Dr. HORDE'S Electric Belts that can notbe 
recharged and the Electricity felt instantly by the pa* 
tient any time without cost. Can be applled'to all parts 
of the body. Whole family can wear ft. It Electrlflei 
the blood and cure3 when all else fails. Monev refunded 
If not found as above. BEWARE OF WORTHLESS so- 
called Electric, Galvanic or Magnetic Belts Shields and 
Appliances that are being foisted on the public, as they 

rosssss no power and cannot be charged oy the patient. 
T CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE- Pains In the Back, 
Head, Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility. Lumbago, Gen- 
eral Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis, Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ica, Diseases of Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Gout. Asthma, Heart Disease, Dyspepsia, Constipation, 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, Impotency, Catarrh, Pllei. 
Epilepsy. Ague, Diabetes, etc. Agents Wanttd, Sana 
•iamp for Pamphlet. 
Dr. W. 4. aQHSiE, 

Hvi Market »trecl t San Francisco, Cal. 



rVALBNTSNBS 

PUSSIES! 

P J KEAB.Y & BRO., 33 Chambers St., N. Y., the largest im- 
porters of flue German Valentines 2nd Toys in this country, 
desiring to close out their Block previous to their removing to larger 
iiuarterB, have sold us at less than the cost to import, 60,000 Ele- 
caat Valentines, which we propose to give nway to increase the 
circulation of. ffur magazine, as follows: Send us 25c. tor 8 moa. 
subscription to Farm and Household, our large, illustra- 
ted marine for the home, and we will send yon 1 large sil- 
ver and gold lace, 8 fold cushion valentine, 1 Ele- 
eant floral, fringe, lace, sentimental valentine, 13 
new comic valentines, assorted subjects, and la lovely 
embossed floral valentine cards, all hy mail, free and 
nostnnid. These 26valeatines at retail, wouldcostyou over $1. 
Monev Refunded if not Satisfactory. Address 
FARM AKP HOUSEHOLD, HARTFORD, CONN. 




BEDROCK PRICES. 



eooooi 



k AGENTS WANTED AT ONCE 

J for Dr. Scott's Electric Corsets, Belts, 
"Brushes, etc. Large advertising, sales 

& profits fruaraoteed, no risk in outfit. Only respectable 

persons wanted. P " " ' 

Apply immediately,! 



,Pall Mall Electric tss'o, ^"S&ET 



B-QWEAKIKll 



■ ....nbood, etc. I will send you. 

the above diseases, also direi-unn- fur self-cure, free ui 
charge. Address Prof . F. O. FOWLER.Hoodu^Cono. 



suffering^ rom the ef- 
fects of youthful er- 
rors, early decay, lost 
aluable treatise upon 



PATRONIZE WHITE LABOR 

BUY YOUR SHOES 

FROM 

NOLAN & SONS. 

We employ ISO men and 55 girls making 
shoes. We have never employed a Chinaman 
in our Factory. 

Our Factory is open for inspection. 

We pay $10,000 a month for White Labor. 

N0LAN& SONS 

812 & 814 MARKET ST. 

(Phelan Building.) 

FACTORY : 

Nos. 67, 69, 71 and 73 Stevenson St. 

SAJf FRANCISCO. 

GK>OT> GOODS! 
CHEAP PRICES. 

GHOIGE FAMILY GROCERIES 

TEAS AIVD COFFEES. 

BUTTER AND EGGS OUR SPECIALTY. 

City and Country Orders promptly attended 
to and dispatched FREE OF CHARGE. 

DEWITT & HARRIS, 

216 SIXTH STREET. 



SEND FOR OUR PRICE LIST, 

We respectfnlly request a comparison of our 
prices with others. 

You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use 
of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt with Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and per- 
manent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and 
Namwod, and all kindred troubles. Also for many 
other diseases. Complete restorat en to Hsaith, Vigor, 
and Manhood guaranteed. No rb _is incurred. Illus- 
trated pamphlet in scaled envelope vt ■ .,ea iree, by ad- 
dressing VOLTAIC BELT CO., :*t "shall, itflch. 




ruptur: 



Positively cured in 60 days bj 
l>r. llornc'i* Eleetro-MiiKiictb 
Kclt-TruM*. combined. Guaran- 
teed the only one in the world 
generating 1 n ccnthnioi.n Elt-ctric& Mag 
netiovarrcut. Scientific-. Powerful, Durable 
Comfortable and Effective in curing Rup 
. ....Reduced, son mrcd in s:t scud for nampms 
KLECTJiO-IHAO^ETIC TK'iSs COMPAHT 



Manhood Restored 

Remedy Free.— A victim of youthful imprudence 
causing Premature Decay, Nervous Debility, Lost 
Manhood, &c. , having tried in vain every Known 
remedy.has discovered a simple means of self-cure, 
which he will send FREE to his fellow-sufferers. 
Address, J.K.REEVES. 43 Chatham St.,New York. 




CAKDFRE99$3.C 
CinCULAR SIZE$ 
NEWSPAPER, " $« r ' 



TYPE SETTING, etc. 
easy. Printed directions. 
For basinesB, home use, or 
money making. For old or 
young. Sends stamps for 
Catalogue of Presses, Type, 
Paper, Cards, &o„ to the 
factory. 

KELSEY & CO. 
lUeriden, Conn. 



■k Weekneaa 
** and Decoy 



SeU .. 
Nervoan fll J L.oet 
Debility ^*^ Manhood 
fl. favorite prescription of a noted specialist jnowr> 
tired.) Druc^ifllH can fill h. Address 

PR. WARD & CO.. LOUISIANA, M&> 



THE WASP. 



15 



deali:rs itv i^xrists. 



ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 

:jio Samorae street, Ssm Francucoi 
W II o i, k s v i, f. . 

PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 



IHPOR i i.i.- A ID D| mi \'- i ■ 



A Piret-clflffl Restaurant [or Lad ■ 
gomcrv. San Preni u o 



11 1 Sutti r -t i , 1 1, between Kearnj and Mo 
E. ft. PERRLN, Proprl 



BUSINESS Tl,e Most Popular school on 

COLLEGE, the £?•*■ 

24 Post SLS.F. For CircuJare. Address 

Send for Circular. 




E. l*. is b: ii.Bt .v < o. 



Book, News, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

(AIII» STOCK, STKAW AXO B1STDEB8' BOARD, ETC. 

Manufacturers of Patent Machine-made Papei Bags 

513 to 510 Sacramento St., - - SAN FRANCISCO, 



SKT^. 2STTED 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Hood Terms Offered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN BROS. 

IMPORTERS OF 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN STREET, STOCKTON, CAL. 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 

OF STOCKTON, CAL, 

Capital Surplus, - - - $300,000.00 

H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Fuaser, Cashier 
General Banking Business 



CORBIN HARROWS 

Sole Agents 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

Importers of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY 

280 i: 282 Main Street Stockton 



13". 


131. H. 




HORSE 


MEDICINE 




H. H MOORE fi SONS, Proprietors 






Stockton, 


Cal. 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS, STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 

SEATING CAPACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Comploto Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY GOODS 



185 IIinter Street 



Stockton, Cal 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Curoe Rheumatism, Neuralgia. Headache, Sprains, Bruises, 
Sore Throat, Cold.-;, Kidney troubles, etc. A Specific for 

Croup, Try It! Try It! For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 50c and SI per bottle. Address 

W. fit HICKMAN, DRUGGIST, STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 



Blacksmithlng and Gen-nil Jobbing. Orders from the Country 
promptly attended. N.E. Cor. California i .Market St. Stocktuu 



J. H. O'BRIEN 

Wholesale Dealer in 

FINE WINES and LIQUORS 

224 Main Street, Stockton, Cax. 

Miller Extra Eastern Whiskies, Imported Brandies, Bethesda 

Water. English Ale and Porter, 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private Asylum fur the cure and treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 

Pleasantly located. Accommodates 200 Patients. 

For terms, etc., address 

ASA CLARK. M. D., Propr and Supt. STOCKTON 



GRAY'S 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

£57"Personal attention given to orders by mad for anything 
in the drug or medicine line. J. D. GRAY, 176 Main St„ 
Stockton. (27 years in the business.) 



SYLVESTER & HAKROLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom, 250 & 252 Main Street, Stockton 

Factory on Main St. bet. Grant & Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory in the San Joaquin Valley 



H. C. SHAW, PLOW WORKS 

AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS 



l a 203 EL DORADO STREET 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain and Produce 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cax. 

Orders solicited and promptly filled. All kinds of Seeds for 

sale. Post Office Box 279. 



YOSEMITE HOUSE 

Main Street, Stockton, Cax. 

The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rates~S2.00 to S3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH & WRENCH, Proprietors 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L. K. HAMMER 

820 J Street - - - Sacramento 

Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



S. E. Cor. Fifth and J Sts. 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 

Established, 1852. Wholesale Dealers in 

Produce and Fruit Commission Merchants 

126 and 123 J Street. Sacramento, Cal. 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 
Baby Carriages Etc. 

629 J STREET, SACRAMENTO. CAL. 



W. F. PETERSON 

MANUFACTURING CONFECTIONER 



Importer and Jobber in all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuts 
Fancy Boxes, etc, 
618 and 620 J St. 



Sacramento, Cal. 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints, Oils and Glass. 
Proprietors of Pacific Color Works. Acme Rubber Paint a 
specialty. 915, 917 and 919 Second St., Sacrameuto, Cal. 




GARLAND 

L. L. LEWIS & CO. 

STOVES AND RANGES 

IMPORTERS OF CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE 

502 and 504 J Street, Sacramento. 




THE FI302ST JEI.Il TN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BREWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 



Cor. 16th and K Sts. 

< )nl ■!'■ 



Sacramento, Cal, 
n-nmptly attended to. 



A. H. POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents tor Dr. Mott'B Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett Sprinca Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or m case 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO, CAL. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO. CAL. 

Special care given to Country orders 



MRS, E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 
Branch House, 41 "J K St.. Metropolitan The.ter Building. 
,„,: ■ Proprietor and M inufaoturer < f the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lcinuu 






A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing, Robes. Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St., Sacramento. 



THE WASP. 







'.vSSSt** ^ ■■ 

3liIllls«I 






Judge Lynch : I think, Mr. Sheriff, I'll have to take a hand. 



SCHMIDT LABEL & LITHO CO, SAN FRANCISCO 



PERRIER'S FRENCH RESTAURANT '""LI'S™ 11 12 & 14 O'Farrell 






SB 






■ is 



r 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COM 1»A CVY, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS.. S. F. 

Hanufactorera of Mid Doalen in • 

FURNITURE, BEDDING & UPHOLSTERY, 

Wooden .Mantels ami Hardwood 
House Finish a Specialty) 

\ I.aik.i: ASSORTMENT CuNsrvNTLY OH if ami ami 
.Madk to Okdkr. 



K\crv article Warranted jlhu Satisfaction 
Guaranteed. 



I tl.HOItAlt 

Sugar Refinery. 

Office, 827 Market street. 
KEF1XERY. POTItKRO. 



CLAUS SI'liKi 'KELS President 

.1. D. SPREOKELS Vice-President 

A. li. Sl'RECKELS Secretary 



Tt-..:'^. .:.Mr. ..:„ m r i: t-> t-j ^» 

SAN nWHCISCp^-f^orncE 

,?*"&/ SEWING MACHINE C 2 

**Vr MARKETS? SAN FRANCISCO. 




AGENTS WANTED 
In Unoccupied Territory. 






\f\r^t\ 



W. G. BADGES, 

I FOB 

HALLETT, DAVIS & CO'S 
Celebrated 

PI V>08, 

Geo. Woods & Co's Parlor and Vestry Organs, 
LS Sansome street, s. F. 





W. T. COLEMAN & CO. 

SHIPPING AND 

Commission Merchants, 

i 

S.E. cor. Market and Slain Sts. 
SAN FRANCISCO. 

CJREAT BARGAINS 

JOE POHEIM 

THE TAILOU. 

We offer to make of the very best French Pique, 

Silk Lined Suits, to order, for 8^45 , 

Formerly §55. 

Fine French Cassimere Pants, for HRH ' 

Elegant Business Suits, for *25 ' 

Proper Attention, Perfect Fit and Beat 
of Work Guaranteed, or No Sales. 

203 Montgomery street, 

7'i-i Market street, 
1 1 lO and 1 1 12 Market street, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 

John M. Curtis, 

(Late CURTIS & BENNETT,) 

ARCHITECT, 

528 California St. Rooms 14 and 15. 

JOHN B. MclNTYRE, 
BOOK BIIVDER 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 
423 Clay and 422 Commercial Sts. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



GERMEA 

FOR BREAKFAST, 

DELICIOUS. 
#'. TRY?1T!: f- 



STORE YOUR FURNITURE, PIAN E °- s d, T A r KS 
CALIFORNIA STORAGE WAREHOUSE, ^»)»> HUSSION 
Next to Grand Opera Houtne. Advances made. 4»*~ STRKKT, 

Decker Bros: Pianos. 

MatrhlesM for Fine Tone. Elegant Finish 
and Great Durability. Endorsed by all 
Artists throughout the world. 

KOHLEE & CHASE, Agents, 

137 A i:i!> POST STREET, S. F. 

COMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 
Manufacturers of Every Description of 

TOILET AND LAUNDRY SOAPS, WASHING POWDER, ETC., ETC. 

Ofllce, 223 Sacramento St., - - San Francisco, Cal. 

IIAK1V A LIBBF,Y, Managers. 

SWATWQ CAMILY BAKERY and 
VY illiS O 1 DINING SALOON. 
O CI n IMARKFT / Families supplied with Wedding Cake, 
h.Sh IVinnrvci, •. |ce Cream. Oyster,. Jellies. He. 
\JU\J Opp. Palace Hotel. ^ " u „ , p „ n .^ 



Instantaneous Photographs, 

1©>85 I.ARKIX STREET, 

Corner of Suttor, SAN FRANCISCO. 

LONDON, PARIS AND AMERICAN BANK 



205 Sansome street. 

Subscribed Capital 82.500,000 00 

Paid U 1 1 C;i).it:d -'.imu. 

Reserve Fund §50,000 00 



DAVID CAHN 

EUGENE MEYER., 



Manager 

Sub-Manager 

Head Office : 

fl and 10 Tokenhouse Yard, Lothburv, London. 
AGENCIES 



\ Paris-- 10 rue St. Cecue. 

"t New York— 46 Exchange place. 



This Rank transacts a general Banking and 
Exchange business, issues Letters of Credit and 
Travelers' Credits, available in the principal 
cities of the world. 



G S HALL. P»oprif 



KECOMME\I)EI> BY THE MEDICAL FACULTY EVERYWHERE. 

Jarvis Brandy 

JARVIS BRANDY CO., CROWERS AND DISTILLERS, SAN JOSE, CAL 

Prize Medal at the World's Exposition, Slew Orleans. 




HAS REMOVED. 



2= HOME MUTUAL INS. CO. 



NOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
No. 21G Sansomc street. 

East side, bet. California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more commodious offices, 

21st Annual Exhibit, Jan. 1, 1KS5 

Premiums since organisation §5,021,759 52 

Losses since organization 2,118,501 84 

Assets, Jan. 1, 1885 856,658 22 

Surplus for Policy Holders 825,96.'} GS 

Income 1884 484,616 73 

Capital, paid-up, Gold 300,000 00 

Reinsurance Reserve 275,157 07 

Net Surplus over everything 250,806 61 



President 

Vice-President. . 

Secretary 

General Agent. , 



....J. F. HOUGHTON 

. .1. L. N. SHEPARD 

CHARLES R. STORY 

R. H. MAGILL 



FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, ^HN MIDDLETON, 

OO AL, 



309, 311 Front St., San Francisco 

The Best and Purest ok California Winks 

and Brandies. 



WELLS, FARGO & COMPANY, 

BANKING DEPARTMENT, 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 



Capital and Surplus .#3,000,000 



DIRECTORS: 

Lloyd Tbvis President, 

Jno. J. Valentine Vice-Presideut, 

Leland Stanford, Charles Crocker, 

J. C. Fargo, Oliver Eldridge, 

Charles Fargo, George E. Gray, and 

C. F. Crocker. 

H. Wadswoktii, Cashier. 

Receive Deposits, issue Letters of Credit and 
transact a General Banking business. 



THE NEVADA BANK 

OF SAN FRANCISCO. 

Capital paid up, #3,000,000. 

Agency at New York, 62 Wall street. 

Agency at Virginia, Nevada. 

Buys and sells Exchange and Telegraphic 
Transfers. Issues Commercial and Travelers' 
Credits. 

ANGLO-NEVADA 

Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

FIRE «fc MARINE. 

Subscribed Cai'ital §2,000,000. 

Office: HO Pine street. 



14 Post, and S. W. cor. Powell & Sutter. 




ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

Commence the New Year right, 

Economize in every way possible, 
Ruy a lEI'ICIt BED as a starter 

and Save Rent. 

BURR FOLDING BED GO, 

60S MAKKET STKEET. 




Bed Open. 



1 W.GREEK HARRISON, President and Manager 

J. L. FLOOD Vice-President 

C. P. FARNFIELD Secretary 

J. S. ANGUS Assistant Manager 

Bankers—The Nevada Bank of 
San Francisco. 



E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public & Commissioner of Deeds. 
238 MONTGOMERY STREET, S. F. 



Adopted1876. ORIGINAL' Re*istered1877. 

<^ BUDWEISER^ 



On Draught | f^i iwpc PHELAN BLOCK, 

only at the L-VJ' \J V ■ » t=-j Cor. Dunont. 

JUMUS fiRtra, Proprietor-. 



RRAMPH ST. ANN'S BUILDING, 

U [I r\ I >l ^^ n j Jun. Eddy and Powell. 
JULIUS GRUEN & MAX VOGELSLANG, Pron'tors 



MAYES 



J OYSTER SALOON! DEALS EXCLUSIVELY IN OYSTERS 



AND DEPOT. 



j 40 CALIFORNIA MARKET, entrance on California St. 



DANICHEFF KID GLOVES. No hS'dupont street 



M. ZRTT.O TTAMMAM. 



(Established 1852.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best BATHS on the 
Pacific (.'oast. Turkish, Russian, Steam, Sulphur or Medicated Baths 
for Ladies ami LlentleiMcn. All on fce ground ^urjjiujjascrueirt)^ 



R99 +n R9ft PACIFIC ST. 



Mlm I IM/\ Ol 8»IINv3lO OUUAi Office: 7S7| HOWARD STREET. 



For Sale Everywhere. 

TRY IT. 



FIRE. MABIIVE. 

The Largest Pacific Coast Insurance Co. 



OF CALIFORNIA. 

ASSETS * t .500,000 

HOME OFFICE: 
S.W. cor. California and Sansomc, 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

D. J. Staples President 

Alpheos Boll Vice-President 

Wm. J. Dutton Secretary 

E. W. Carpenter Assistant Secretary 

HUTCHINSON & MANN 
INSURANCE AGENCY, 

BJ. E. cor. California & Sansomc 

CASH ASSETS REPRESENTED §23,613,618 

H. M. Newhall & Co. 

SHIPPING & COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

Crenerai Agents of 

NATIONAL 

Assurance Co. of Ireland, 
Assurance Co. of London. 

BOYLSTON 

Mutual Ins. Co. of Boston. 

309 SANSOME STREET. 

RANKS Alii. ! 
The Old Reliable 

MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE GO. 

Of New York. 

A. B. FORBES, 

General Agent for the Pacific Coast. 
814 S.OSOJIK STREET. 





Best 3-4 Garden Hose IO cents 

Sew Gas and Oil Stoves *l to W9 

Sew Electric Oil Torches, *?4 each. 

^V. 3B3, LANE, 

Plumbing' Well Done. 

505 KEARNY STREET. 



THROAT, 
CATARRH, 

It will Cure 

CONSUMPTION 



Post Office Box 1886. 




LTJTVGrS, 

FEVERS. 



For Coughs, Colds, Whoop- 
ing Conghs and all Throat 
Affections it has no equal. 



Address, Patented Feb. 20, 1883. 

VAI/ENTINE II ASSIIER. OSS Washington St. cor. Powell, S. P. 

"give thy son a LIBERAL EDUCATION." 

ACIFIC B USINESS fi OlLEGE 

i RIcCMn CAD I _ _ 



P ACIFIC R 
LIFE MEMBERSHIP I j 
ONLY $70. ^f 



LIFE MEMBERSHIP I I^SEND FOR 

ONLY $70. Uf CIRCULAR. 



II 320 



POST 
ST. 



GEO. C. SHREVE & CO. 

Sole Agents in California for the Sale of 

ROGERS, SMITH & GO'S PLATED WARE. 

Offer Full Lines of these Desirable Goods 
at Very Low Prices- 

MONTGOMERY AND SUTTER STREETS. 



Dr. Gates' Turkish and Russian Steam Baths. 

ELECTRICITY APPLIED! BEST SHAMPOOING ! 

T22 MONTGOMERY ST., - - near Washington. 



PUTNAM HOUSE, AUBURN, CAL. 



Ml 

I 
r- 

U. 03 

O _l 
_j 

n 

DC O 

<o 

— LL 

Z 
< 

to 




'[Af" 

I'r'Ii 



IIMH 

MM 



:w 




o 

z 
•n r 

§ ■< 

5 m 
> to 

m6 

*z 

O I 



Home for Invalids, Tourists, and Pleasure-Seekers. Auburn is known as the healthiest town in 
California. The climate is peculiarly adapted to lung diseases, etc. , while the surrounding's of the 
PUTNAM assures recreation to all. Terms moderate. .JO II X <* ASSXEK„ Prop'r. 

TJSE ONLY 

N r FJS^ 1ST 13 Jk. H T> 

MACHINE LOADED 
SHOTGUN OAJEfcTISJLDGnES. 

CHEAPEST AISTD BEST I 



1 



■■ — ^" ! ™ ! 



1 

I 

m 







fe^ F> BEST FAM I LY <' ^i:^ - 1 
S PERRY &CO-- STOCKTO N CAL. ' 
_ SAN FRANCISCO OFFICE 22 CALIFORNIA ST 




R.H.M c Donald 

—PRESIDENT.— 

RflJYFDanaldJ; 

■\ VICE-PREST 

"jj^^SldEstCliartereii 

TFcial Bank 

Z the Pacific Coast. 

HTapltalS 1000,000.00. 

Surplus! 500.000.00. 

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL, JAN. 1, 1886 

THE COCOA CROP is SHORT 

LOOK OUT FOR ADULTERATIONS ! 

BY USING 

WALTER BAKER & CO.'S 

CHOCOLATE 

V on will be sure of securing 
THE BEST! 

WM. T. COLEMAN & CO. 

SOLE AGENTS. 



PATENT COVERS 

FOR 

FILING THE WASP. 



Subscribers wishing to preserve their Back 
Numbers can have our 

PATENT COVERS 

sent to any part of the United States by sending 
Fifty Cents. 

THE WASP PUBLISHING CO. 

S38 California Street. 



OCEANIC STEAMSHIP CO. 
J. D. Spreckles & Bros., 

327 market Street, 

OWNERS OF 

SPRECKLES' LINE OF PACKETS 
Packages & Freight to Honolulu 



AMERICAN 

SUGAR REFINERY CO. 

San Francisco. 

Manufacturers of all Classes of 

Kenned Sugars, Includi ng Loaf 

Sugar for Export. 

E. L. G. STEELE, President. 
Office, 20K California St. 



■ESS! 

" MANUFACTURERS OF 

LABELS XSH0W CARDS 
3 BOX BRANDS. 

21-31 MAIN Str& SW TOMWSSCfc 



SHIRTS TO ORDER, J. W. CARMANY, 25 KEARNY STREET. 



t 



t 




Vi ) LI ME XVI. 



NUMBER 7. 



SAX FRANCISCO, SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 13, 188G. 



Price h 



i lO CENTS. 



REPRESEtfjI^G THE ArJS AND MANUFACTURES OF 




»AM 



ICHI BAN 



Ttf E M05T BEAbjIFlJL S IMpOSI^' ESTABLISkf^T op the pAtlFIG COAST g i a M ARKFT "5T & IR R 17 POST ST 

THE MOST INTERESTING RESORT I M SAN fRAMCISCO. n A i Arc ' ^ ncnUr' ' 

PAF\E^T OF THE f-ANlOUS j^EE BA^ Of CHICAGO. opposite PALACE H0TEL ° p ™ rt MAS0N C TEMPL£ 



CIAS. I . HAVENS, 

ARCHITECT, 

Formerly Schmidt & Havens, 

121 POST ST.. Rooms 27-28, over O'Connor, Moffattft Co. 

Sax Franxisco. 



J. D. BARR & SOX, 

323 Bi-sn Strbkt, next to i;u*h-;.treet Theater, and 

932 Market Street, next to Baldwin Theater, 
Manufacturers and Importers of 
Umbrellas, Walking Canes, Parasols, Etc. 

The most extensive establishment on the Pacific Coast. 



a. o. cook & SON, 

TRADE >^ 

<f, / MARK. ~^~ 

LEATHER BELTING, 

415 Market Street, Sas Frascisco. 



6 £ST ROLLER M> , 0e 

S T A R R ' S EX T R A . 

Is THE FlSKST FT.OTTR TO Use. 
STARR & CO. - 16 California St.. San Francisco. 



•'EXCELSIOR !" "EXCELSIOE ! 

C . Z I X X s , 

FASHIONABLE TAILOR 

5 Montgomery Street (Masonic Temple), 
SAX FRANCISCO. 





EIBE 


AND 


I'T'E'iLAE-PEOOF 










S A F E S . 






M 


I G H E 


L L 


& R I C H A R 


D 


s, 




Cor. Mari. 


ET A NIi 


Davib Sts., San Francsc 







GEORGE MORROW & CO. 

(Established 1854), 
Hay, Grain and Commission Merchants, 

SHIPPING ORDERS A SPECIALTY, 
'■'■?■ Clay Street, ... Sas Francisco. 





GREAT 


BLOOD 


PURIFIER. 






— drink- 






Af 


RIG AN 


Stomach 


Bitters. 




Most Agreeable Tonic '. 


;vcr 


're pared. 



AMMEN'S COUGH SYRUP, 

The Great Remedy for 

COUGHS, COLDS, ETC., ETC. 

Ask Tons I': uggist tor It. 



AMERICAN EXCHANGE HOTEL, 

SANSOME STREET, S. F. 
The traveling public v. ill find this to be the iriost ron- 
venierit as well as the most comfortable ■ d n spi 
Hotel in the i itj - Board ran I roi .m -7 . 51-25 and si. 50 per 
day. None but w hite labor employed. Free 

Coach to mid from the Hotel. 

MONTGOMERY BROS, proprietors. 



E . M A R T IX & CO. 

Importers and Wholesale Liquor Beaters. 

'Argonaut," "J. F. Cutter" and " Miller's 

Extra," 0!d Bourbon Whiskies. 



408 Front STREET, 



Francisco. 





COOKS BROS. 


WALL 


PAPER AND FRESCOING, 


Parquet Floors, Imitation Stained Glass, 




108 Post Street, Sas Francisco. 



'•white 


HOUSE " 


WHISKIES 


Holland Gin 
eti 


Fresc 

, in 1.;-, 


t Branches 
id or Duty 


Pi i P, sherry, 
Paid. 


GEORGE 


STEVENS, 


318 Frost St., Room 2, 




S is Francisco. 



F. DANERI & 

IMPOETEES am, WHOLES. 

AGENTS FOR THE F 

F E R X E T - B R 


CO. 

ILK (SBOCEKS, 
LMOUS 

A X A , 


27 .v 2:i California St.. ret. J' 


S &] IftVMM. 



i.i. TO THE 

TERRAPIN OYSTER HOUSE 

IS STOCKTON ST. 

Private Dining; Rooms up stairs. Open all night. 



«►- <* 



M. MEUSSDORFFER'S HATS are " THE " STYLES." E - "L."aS , fiaarsg™" 1 



THE CELEBRATED 

CHAMPAGNE WINES 

Of Messrs. DEUTZ & GELDERMAN, 
Ay, en Champagne. 



CACHET KI.A.HC, Ties Sec, 

Extra Dry, in Cases, Quarts and Pints. 

Cabinet (bitou Nest-1. 

In Baskets, Quarts and Pints. 

Bordeaux ISed and White 
Wines, 

In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Stock: Wines 

In Cases, from G. M. Pabstmann Sohn, Mainz. 



GHAS. MEI-NEGKE & GO. 

Importers and Sole Agents, 
314 SACRAMENTO STREET, S.F. 




PHOTOGRAPHER, 

8 Montgomery St., San Francisco 

Veuve Clicquot 

(Yellow Label) 

CHAMPAGNE. 

Quarts and Pints. 

,A_. VIGNIER, 

SOLE ACHEBTT, 

429 and 431 Battery St., S.F. 



Jf. V. LAWBEJiCE, 

Carpenter and Builder, No. 010 

Saci'amento street, 8. F. 

Cabinet Work and Fitting Up Offices promptly 
attended to. Telephone No. 900. 



rOE THE BEST I1IPE0VED 

ARTIFICIAL LIMBS 

ADDRESS 

MENZO SPRING. 
?| 9 Geary St. l& 

S| SAN FRANCISCO, C»l. |j 
• OITICE E. a 



BECHSTEIN 

Grand and Upright Pianos. 

GENERAL AGENT FOR PACIFIC COAST, 
737 Market street, S. F. 

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. 





THE LARGEST 

Lager Beer 

BREWERY 



OK THE PACIFIC COAST. 

JOHN WIELAND, 

FKOFKIETOR, 

Second street, near Folsom, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



| CAPITAL /^—^lKf^z\ Corner of f 



STOCK 

$200,000. 



OUR LAGER BEER IS 
BREWED BY THE NEW 
METHOD AND WAR- 
RANTED TO KEEP IN 
ANY CLIMATE. 




ism 



(ALE )■ PORTE! 



POWELL & FRANCISCO 

STREETS. 
TELEPHONE 9012. 



cuts 



ALE S& PORTER 

In Bulk or Bottle, Superior 
to any on the Pacific Coast. 



RUDOLPH MOHR, Sec'y. 



Patronize ^-Tome Prod.\iction. 



CARTE 
BLANCHE.^ 

IMPERIAL 

CABINET, 

Pure and 

Delicious 



CELEBRATED CAUFOUMA 



55-^r^ 




m- SUPERIOR to All in RICHNESS & QUALITY. 



STORAGE 



for FITRXITFRE, PIANOS and other 

tioorts. at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
HOUSE, 735 Market St. Advances 
made. J. M . PIERCE. 



Jos. Fredericks 

& CO. 

649 & 651 Market St. 

FURNITURE 

and CARPETS. 

Latest Designs. 



THE BOSS 



For Sale by 



PACIFIC SAW MANUFACTURING CO 

17 & 10 Fremont St., S.F. 



Complete with Pacific Saw Manufacturing Com- 
pany's Extra Blade, set and filed ready 
for work, !$1.50 each. 



RESTAURANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

520 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered dailv. Cakes made to 
Order. Sole Agent for RUSSIAN CAVIAR and 
WESTPHALIA HAMS. German Sausages. 

A. REVSCHE. 

L. S. KAST. J. KAUFMANN. 

East's 

MEN'S 

YOUTHS' 

BOYS' 

Boots and Shoes 

Largest Stock, Greatest Variety, 
Lowest Prices. 

East's 

738 & 740 MARKET STREET. 

\o ISranek Stores. 




S TEINWAY. 



Double Triumph at London, IWS5. 

Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
Grand Gold Medal by the Society of Arts for " Best Pianos 
and several meritorious and useful Inventions. 

M. GKA¥, SOG Post street, S. F. 




CENTRAL 



mm'v's. -;# 



113 GEARY ST., above Dupont, S. F. 

The most comfortable, cheapest and cleanest Hot and Cold Water Baths in the city with Hot 
or Cold Showers. Salt Water, Sulphur and Bran ISut lis. Try them. , 

L. COERIVEAU, Proprietor. 



M. 



JO CMD'Q WESTERN BREWERY, 
. I— L- IVIr O ST. LOUIS. MO. 



Imitated by Many, 

Equaled by None. 

J. TV. 3EV.AJXS, 
GENERAL AGENT, 

ISO. 20 POST ST. 




OTTO NORMANN 4 " 



Sole Agent Pacific Coast. 



BORER'S 
BITTERS 

Used as a TOSJIC and COCKTAIL 
BITTER 

SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

For Sale by all Wholesale Dealers and in all 
First-class Saloons. 

WILLIAMS, DIMOND & GO. 

SHIPPING AIKD 

Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
Junction Market «fc Pine streets, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



AGENTS FOR 
Pacific Mail S. S. Co. ; the Pacific Steam Naviga- 
tion Co. ; the Ciinard Royal Mail S. S. Co. ; the 
Hawaiian Line ; the China Traders' Insurance 
Co. (limited) ; the Marine Insurance Co. of 
London ; the Baldwin Locomotive Works ; the 
Glasgow Iron Co. ; Nich, Ash ton & Son's Salt. 



DRINK 



/■>r?» rrr>r-» * -rrr 



B <f^"iTrv^sTrre, . .jsurvn 



S± SPARKLING NATURAL 




SAN FRANCISCO, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1886. 



X ■• , ■'»■ 



... .. ■ 






1 I X 










SCHMIDT LABELS LITHO C0..SAN FRANCISCO 



Morrow : Your turn next, Senator. 



THE WASP. 



POSTSCRIPTS. 



ANOTHER, EKUTE. 

The testimony in the impending divorce case of 
Skinderly vs. Skinderly will form another heart- 
sickening revelation of the disgustingly brutal treat- 
ment practiced upon a long-suffering wife by the 
husband of the period. 

Mrs. S. deposes that during the first few months 
of her married life her husband was kind and affec- 
tionate, and never once threw up to her any dis- 
paraging reference to, his mother's style of cooking ; 
but about three weeks ago he went on a fishing trip, 
and as an extra delicacy she made some sponge-cake 
for him to carry for his lunch. When he returned 
she said : 

"And how did the cake do, 'Gustus ? " 

"First rate, I lost both sinkers the very first bite. | 
That cake came in very handy," and then he chuck- j 
led in a repulsive manner. 

About a week after this she invited her own \ 
family to tea. Her husband cast a look round the | 
table, excused himself and left the house for a few 
minutes. He returned carrying a vial and a small 
sponge. 

"My dear," he said solemnly as he uncorked the 
bottle, " I see you have made some more of that 
sponge-cake. When you see that I am breathing 
heavy and regularly, remove this sponge and ram 
my share of the cake down my throat with the han- 
dle of a fork — I am going to take chloroform! " 



not une of these big hearted, stern browed miners, 
as he returned to his cabin in the gray light of the 
morning, but felt warmed and cheered by the ail- 
proving thought that he had taken the first real step 
forward in the purification of the drama. 



A BREACH OF TRUST. 

" I say, Ned," remarked a Pine-street "operator" 
to one of the same fraternity whom he saw waiting 
at the ferry with his gripsack in his hand and an 
expression of indignant disgust on his face, "you 
look down in the mouth. What's the matter? " 

"Matter enough," growled the "expert." "I've 
been swindled the worst way. There's no chance 
for a square deal in this town, and I'm going to 
shaKe it." 

"Been froze out, eh 1 " 

" Froze out 1 You know Jack Guffey % Well, 1 
stood in with that fellow for nine weeks trying to 
'place' the Big Gopher Mine, up in Bodie, with a 
couple of New York capitalists." 

" Why, there isn't any Big Gopher Mine up 
there! " 

" Well, I didn't tell you there was, did I i You're 
not a New Yorker. Well, last night we made the 
thing go, and they handed over the boodle — eleven 
thousand dollars — to Jack. We were to meet next 
day and divide, but I'm blessed if the scoundrel 
didn't skip this morning on the China steamer — left 
me without a bean— and I've been running round all 
day borrowing enough money to slide out of town 
myself. I tell you, the business has gone to the 
devil, and a fellow don't know who to trust now- 
adays. A square man's got no show — got no show! " 

And the victim of misplaced confidence walked 
sadly on board. 



A TRUE STORY. 

The coming golden age of the drama, about which 
the critics seem to write so feelingly, appears to have 
arrived ahead of schedule time, if we may judge by 
the occurence at Howling Gulch, up on the Feather, 
the other day. It seems that ever since the Liza 
Jane claim began to pan out so largely the horny- 
handed miners determined to have a theater and 
other modern inconveniences. So they had one run 
up on the railroad principle and it was opened last 
week by a play of the Hot Water species, and per- 
petrated by a company as bad as anything now 
inflicting this metropolis, which is saying a great 
deal. 

The miners sat through the first act in surprised, 
not to say gloomy silence. After it was over a 
solemn conference was held in the bar-room by the 
stockholders, but it was finally agreed to stand 
another act so as to give the company a square 
show. During the next intermission a committee 
prepared a circular which was handed around the 
house during the third act. At its conclusion the 
whole audience sorrowfully retired. The stage door 
and entrance were carefully nailed shut, and the 
building was set fire to, while some of the boys were 
hanging the ticket seller to the awning posts in 
front ; and all night that sad and disappointed crowd 
stood listening to the wails of the roasting soubrette 
and the piercing shrieks of the " greatest American 
comedian," meanwhile keeping the fire company 
away with their revolvers. 

It was pretty tough on the Howling Gulchers, as 
the building cost eighteen thousand dollars ; but 



HE FELL BACK. 

They tell a story of the late General Hazen which 
certainly ought to go on the records. It seems that 
the distinguished Signal Service chief was stopping 
at a hotel in New Orleans. At the same table Gen- 
eral Beauregard, who has aptly earned the title of 
Major-General of the Louisiana Lottery, was dis- 
coursing to some ladies anent the immense superior- 
ity of the Southern troops compared to the North- 
ern, and explaining the extraordinary combination 
of circu instances that alone prevented the late war 
resulting in an entirely different manner. 

Presently a dish of fricaseed rabbit was placed on 
the table, and which Beauregard passed to Hazen, 
who sat silently chewing his cud. 

"No, thanks," said "Old Probs," "I had a 
surfeit of rabbits at Gettysburg ; I have never cared 
for them since." 

"Were you at Gettysburg/" asked the South- 
erner. 

"I was there with Meade. I suppose you re- 
member what happened after the third day, eh ? " 

" Well — er — ahem! — we fell back, I believe. But 
what has that to do with rabbits ? " 

" Everything," said Hazen slowly. "As you say, 
you fell back. You fell back so vigorously that, in 
pursuing, our troops, which were out of rations, 
found the ground strewn with rabbits — great rabbit 
country that — with rabbits that couldn't get out of 
the way of you fellows. We lived on them for three 
days." 

And as the great Lottery worker haughtily 
marched out of the room with his companions, the 
silence was broken only by the still small voice of the 
mudsill murmuring ; 

"You fell back!" 



A pickpocket can never be a communist. He is 
always feeling for the rich. 



" How far is it to the City Hall ? " asked a stran- 
ger of a dude on Market street the other day. 

"Aw — really, cawn't say exactly," said the lu-lu 
thoughtfully, "but I'm quite sure it isn't more than 
two cigarettes and a half." Derrick Dodd. 



Money loaned on horses, buggies, Custom House 
receipts, goods in warehouse, bonds, etc., at the 
Collateral Bank, 15 Dupont street. 



Some one has estimated that the time thrown 
away in this world in courting the girl you want to 
marry, and who is ready to marry you, would build 
all the railroads and bridges and tunnels and fac- 
tories and public buildings. The white people 
should take a lesson in tins from the colored people. 
The other day a likely young colored man stood at a 
gate in Birmingham, Ala. A likely young colored 
woman came along with a dog. 

" Hi, dar! " he called, " but mebbe you want to 
sell dat dog? " 

" Mebbe your name is Lucinda? " 

"Yes, sah." 

" 1 allers dote on dat name. Ize called Gawge. " 

" Dat's pleasin'." 

"Ize looking you know? " 

"Y-yes." 

"Got money saved up an* a stidy job ahead. 
Shall I sjteak to de ole man ? " 

" He's in Orleans." 

" Den I'll see de ole woman.' 

" She's dead." 

" Wall, den I'll ax you to be my wife right now." 

" You's foolin'." 

" 'Deed, no." 

" Hain't got nobody else? " 

"Nobody, 'tall." 

" Reckon we'll hitch ? " 

" Co'se we will — can't help it." 

"Wall, den, I'll say yes, an' to-night you come 
down to Mrs. Grumley's kitchen an' we'll sot de day 
an' sorter git acquainted." 

"Lucinda, I — " 

"Go 'long, Gawge! Ize dun said yes, an' dat's 
'miff'. Come airly. " 

" So long, 'Cinda! " 

"By-by, Gawge!"— JV. Y. Sun. 



A REMEDIAL AGENT. 



It is a great deal easier to be a good dove than a 
decent serpent. 



I'm a big, big thing, 

And my name is Dynamite! 
I'm a stunner, I'm a tighter; 
And the daring dynamiter, 

With his fuses all alight, 
Is an uncrowned king. 
He can toss his blazing bomb 

With its sibilating fizz — 
With its hustle and its hum 

And its whirligigging whiz — 
And gone to kingdom come 

Every edifice is. 
I'm a reveler, a leveler, 
A jocund old bedeviler ; 

And when I hit a head 
I'm a terrible disheveler. 

When all is done and said, 
There's a smoking pile of bricks, 
And a flight of burning sticks, 
And a smell of scorching hair 

In the air, 
But not anybody dead. 

I've a loud, loud bark. 

But I never, never bite. 
I'm a tearer and a terror, 
But you're very much in error 

If you ever feel affright 
When I'm making a remark. 
When I let my war-whoop out 

And the bricks begin to drop, 
Every doctor thereabout 

Is incensed enough to hop ; 
All the undertakers shout 

To their boys to shut up shop; 
All the ailing cease bewailing 
Knowing they will now stop failing ; 

And the gallows -mounted sneak 
Feels that all is now plain sailing 

To survive another week. 
I am wholesomer than breath, 
I'm a center shot at Death : 

He will seek 
Safer quarters when I speak. 

l 'en voi. 
When you're sick and doctors quite 

Have agreed to give you up. 
Drink of liquid dynamite 

Quantum *«,/f.— say half a cup. 
Let a misanthropic ram, 
Strong of neck and back and ham, 
On your stomach wreak his rage. 
You will live to die of age. 

A Washington correspondent relates the following 
about the relations of Senator Sawyer to President 
Lincoln: "One of the old attaches of the White 
House, who remembers the war times when Senator 
Sawyer was a member of the House and was often 
consulted by President Lincoln upon legislation 
necessary to come before the House, tells of a funny 
saying of Mr. Lincoln's about Mr. Sawyer. Con- 
gressman Sawyer was up at the White House one 
day when the President was very much worried over 
a recommendation which it was feared the House 
would not accede to. Mr. Sawyer, with his splendid 
common sense, soon laid before the President a plan 
by which the difficulty could be overcome. As Mr. 
Sawyer went out of the door of the library, which 
was then, as now, the President's room, Mr. Lincoln 
heaved a long sigh and remarked to the clerk that 
was near him : * I get more comfort out of Philetus 
Sawyer than any other member of the House. He 
has more horse sense than any member in it.' And 
then with a funny twinkle the President added : 
' He is a funny-looking fellow with that big stomach 
of his. Every time he thinks his bowels rumble.' " 
—Ex. _^___ 

"How are you getting along, Jim?" asked a 
gentleman of a friend who was engaged in manipu- 
lating cereals on the short side of the market. 

"Just making a 'bear' living," replied the mer- 
chant. 



SCOTT'S EMULSION OF PURE COD LIVER OIL, 

WITH HYPOPHOSPHITES, % 

Its Great Value in Children's Diseases.— Dr. T. B. 
Crandall, Sterling, Ills., says: "I have used Scott's 
Emulsion with very satisfactory results, especially with 
children. It is doubtless the best combination of Cod 
Liver Oil." 



THE WASP. 



COURTSHIP WITHOUT ITS 
FEATHERS. 



I to I love you ': 1 toes the bummer 
Love the free and easy lunch? 

Will I Live joo liII the summer? 
Should a camel shake hie hunch ': 

Ah, no bee a pumpkin blossom 

Ever loved a.-> I love thee. 
To no nigger ever "pobbuid 

Seemed as sweet as thou to me. 

Why the man who wouldn't marry 

You ten times without ado 
Lies ! — although your sister Carrie 

Is a nicish person too. 

You will find me true as preaching— 

Kaithfuller than any leech : 
I'm a devil; chuck, at reaching 

Km- whatever* in my reach. 

Nothing well could be absurder 
Than to scorn you for your gold : 

Better many you than murder, 
For indeed you're growing old. 

U how cheerfully my spirit 
Notes the progress of your cough. 

Ci nigh again and let me hear it 
Hail a hearse to take you off. 

Haste we altarward, then— stand we 

Forth, our destinies to link. 
Carriell make a fairly handy 

Deceased wife's sister, don't you think ? 

Do I love yon ? Does the weasel 

Love a pullet on a stump ? 
You're my ootsy-pootsy measle, 

You're my pitty-itty mump. 



SCIENCE ON THE HALF-SHELL. 

On Saturday night last the Academy of California 
Sciences pulled itself together, Professor Ornith- 
orangoutang in the Chair. The minutes of the 
previous palaver having been reduced to hours and 
found to number fifteen, the Chairman introduced 
Professor Horace Davis, of MiUlhausen, who read 
a monograph on the Mealworm, in which that 
creature's habits were severely reprobated. The 
paper was listened to with energetic attention. At 
the close Dr. Behr asked if the reptile under con- 
sideration was the ordinary diner-out of commerce — 
Gasfromagnus gregarim. Dr. Whitney, rising to a 
question of privilege and a considerable altitude, 
hurled back the allegation and explained, with great 
warmth, that on the contrary it had the honor to be 
the well known Desolator proscriptus, or lunch-fiend ; 
and with a meaning look at Professor J. P. Moore, 
the ftmgifer, the speaker added that some folks 
ought to feel themselves highly honored by the 
attentions of science. Professor Moore coldly re- 
marked that if the gentleman's unacadeniical lan- 
guage was meant to apply to him he had only to say 
that the gentleman's tongue was simply a toad's 
tool. Further discussion of the Mealworm was 
prevented by Professor Maynard, who said : ' ' Mister 
Chairman, if personalities is in horder, 'ere's a scien- 
tifical gent as would like to be 'eard from — which 'e 
is a rattlin' good un with 'is 'ands ; and if any duffer 
says I means myself, I says, says I, my observation 
is hopen to that objection." In making a motion to 
adjourn, Professor Moore and Dr. Whitney fell over 
the same spittoon, and the Chairman said that 
although these gentlemen might differ on minor 
points of controversy, they had shown themselves 
in action essentially harmonious. 

Professor Sam Davis, the distinguished editor of 
the Popular Science Appeal, published at Carson 
City, said that he had recently spent some hours in 
study of the celebrated gigantic footprints of the 
Homo Nevadensisj and with an apology to Dr. 
Harkness he must say that in his opinion (Mr. 
Davis') they were made at a comparatively recent 
period by a local politician, running for office. This 
brought Dr. Harkness to his feet, which being care- 
fully scrutinized by Professor Davis, that gentleman 
added, before the other had leave to speak : "Mr. 
Chairman, it is unnecessary for my friend to say a 
word : I see two substantial reasons for abandoning 
my theory." The matter went over. 

Dr. Bartlett said : ' ' May it please the Chair, in 

the last bulletin " "Order!" cried Prof essor 

de Young ; "I object, Mr. Chairman, to the gentle- 
man advertising the loathsome sheet with which he 



is dishonorably connected, by introducing its name 
into tlir Balk ol Science. M Mr. I !ha 
tinned Dr. Bartlett, " 1 «:ls about to Bay that in the 
last bulletin" [cries of "order! order!"] -That 
in the last bulletin of the Conchological Society of 
Timbuctoo the Ostrea volant, or flying clam, is 
declared identical with the .V dtata 

the jumping slug. As Professor Maynard is a dis- 
tinguished slugger, possibly he maybe able to throw 
some light on the question." The member appealed 
t" having gone home, the matter was by agreement 
referred to the Committee on Birds, with instruction 
to include in the investigation the scientific status 
of the Pterinwa odcbedurus, or brick bat. 

Dr. Homer Sprague, of Mills College, said that 
in digging a grave in Mountain View Cemetery, 
some workmen had discovered fragmentary remains 
of a female autochthon, which he had ventured to 
name Mogruqpeda Qvercufarensis. He had secured 
the bones of the great toe of the right foot, and had 
hoped to have the pleasure of presenting them to 
the Academy tliat evening, but a delay had been 
caused by the breaking down of the truck on which 
they had been loaded. Professor E. L. G. Steele, 
of the Alameda County College of Paleontology, 
rose in his place and asked the Chairman, with some 
heat, if yiagnupula Qt"-iTtiU:rrensia might not be 
construed to mean "big-footed Oakland girl." The 
Chairman said that if the member would frame a 
resolution affirming that view, he would be pleased 
to put the question and have it settled on the 
record ; but Mr. Steele said that if Professor 
Sprague had the spirit of a true scientist he would 
himself prefer to go outside and settle it on the 
sidewalk. At this point of the proceedings the de- 
meanor of the Oakland members was characterized 
by so marked a coldness toward the other savans 
that many of the latter are not expected to recover. 
Adjourned by the police— mvniones legis. 

OUR PICTURES. 



They are timely and need but slight explanation. 
San Francisco as the Queen City of the Pacific sits 
by her Golden Gate and receives Cupid's introduc- 
tion of all her foreign notable votaries. From eveiy 
land come the most distinguished representatives of 
art, religion and letters ; and from Col. Mapleson 
and George Augustus Sala in the lead through all 
the ranges of the pulpit, lecture platform, theater 
and opera, to the "seven ravens" in the rear, the 
pictured likenesses show how favored is our orange- 
bowered queen. 

Our title page shows the entente cordiale that 
exists between our representatives at Washington. 
The indefatigable Morrow executes the people's will 
by passing through the House of Representatives 
the Chinese Restriction Act, and then hands the 
Bill over to Senator Stanford who with like interest 
and zeal urges the same to a finality in the Senate. 
With two such earnest workers our affairs could not 
be better managed. 

The concluding picture, representing a famous trial 
now going on at Los Angeles, tells its own story. 
The unfortunate defendant preferring not the daugh- 
ter but the ducats clings to his money bags and 
looks with sorrowing gaze for sympathy in the 
clouds. 



Smart Little Boy ; Papa, do little children 
come from heaven ? 

Profane but Practical Parent : Yes, my son ; 
but some of them have a h — 1 of a time getting 
back.— Ex. 

Fredericksburg Rheingold now on draught. Don't 
fail to try it. 

UNDIGESTED FOOD 
In the stomach develops an acid which stings the upper 
part of the throat and palate, causing "heartburn. It 
also evolves a gas which produces "wind on the stomach," 
and a feeling and appearance of distension in that organ 
after eating. For both this acidity and swelling Hostetter's 
Stomach Bitters is a much better remedy than alkaline 
salts, like hartshorn and carbonate of soda. A wineglass- 
ful of the Bitters, after or before dinner, will be found to 
act as a reliable carminative or preventive. This fine spe- 
cific for dyspepsia, both in its acute and chronic form, also 
prevents and cures malarial fever, constipation, liver com- 
plaint, kidney troubles, nervousness and debility. Persons 
who observe in themselves a decline of vigor should use 
this fine tonic without delay. 

NEW DRUG- STORE. 
Mr. Frank Kelly, formerly with H. A. Slaven, opened 
on Tuesday a drug store on his own account, on Eddy 
street, near Mason. Mr. Kelly has had a long experience 
in the drug business, and has made many friends in the 
medical profession who will be glad to hear of his enter- 
prise. He is a most competent and careful chemist and 
deserves every success. 



POLITICAL BUBBLINGS. 

In .air last issue we gave the first public an- 
■ ; inoement thai Governor Stoneman had it in 
contemplation to appoint J. 0. Flood as I nited 
States Senator in the event of a vacancy by the 
death of General Miller. The daily press "caught 
| on " thxee days afterwards and endeavored to wors 
i up a sensation in the premise.,. With that indelicacy 
which casts a reproach upon the American system 

of "interviewing" they rushed like vulgar 1 rs 

upon the gentleman named and hurled sue! 
tions at him as : "Are you a candidate for General 
Miller's place?" "Where did the rumor of your 
candidacy arise ? " "Would you take the place if 
offered to you i " and other like barbarous queries. 
What kind of a being did they suppose Mr. Flood 
to be? Their questions would presuppose him to 
be a human ghoul, sitting in anxious waiting at the 
portal of death waiting for a dead man's shoes. 
What answers could they expect to the unfeeling 
interrogatories plied by them I Of course like a 
sensitive, delicate gentleman lie answered all comers 
that he knew nothing of the matter, was not a can- 
didate and did not want the office. This was sensi- 
ble and truthful. And still it does not prevent 
Governor Stoneman from making the appointment 
in case the sad necessity shall arise. 

Notwithstanding there is a decided interest taken 
in political matters already, the Republican candi- 
dates are somewhat chary as yet in declaring them- 
selves, as they hesitate to take sides with either of 
the two contending houses of Higgins or Conroy. 
Could they know in advance which will control the 
slate they would be perfectly outspoken. 

On the Democratic side matters are looking more 
composed. It is understood that the Stockton and 
anti-Stockton factions have compromised their dif- 
ferences on the following basis. The Stockton 
Con vent ionites are to name the Mayor, Sheriff, 
Assessor, County Clerk, Recorder, seven Super- 
visors, five School Directors, the Coroner, District 
Attorney, one Police Judge and one Superior Judge. 
The "Anti's" are to have the Auditor, Tax Collector, 
Treasurer, Superintendent of Streets, Public Ad- 
ministrator, City and County Attorney, Surveyor, 
five Supervisors and seven School Directors. Like 
many another well laid plan this may, however, 
"gang a glee." 

At the next election there will be three vacancies 
upon the Supreme Court bench to be filled. Upon 
the Democratic side it is understood that Judges 
Toohy and Sullivan of the Superior Court are the 
leading candidates. With the Republicans there 
will be more of strife. The latest name mentioned 
in this camp is that of Judge Noble Hamilton, of 
Oakland. He has already demonstrated his fitness 
for the judiciary by ten years of acceptable service 
on the bench. He has the proud distinction of 
never having been overruled by the Supreme Court 
although numerous cases have gone up from him to 
that tribunal. Judge Hamilton seems to have been 
peculiarly fortunate in keeping himself aloof from 
all factional entanglements. He rests his case en- 
tirely upon his merits as a lawyer and judge of 
experience. , 

For the office of State School Superintendent Ira 
G. Hoitt, the President of the Board of Education 
in this city, lias announced himself as a candidate, 
and will have among others Mr. Waterman, of 
Stockton, as a competitor. Mr. Hoitt has had large 
experience in educational matters ; and Mr. Water- 
man has a large circle of friends among those inte- 
rested in school matters. 

Among candidates for Lieutenant - Governor 
Robert Howe, of Sonoma, is favorably mentioned 
in Republican circles, and for State Surveyor Ge% 
eral William Minto, of Woodland. Senator Whitney 
and N. W. Spaulding of Alameda county also have 
friends respectively who are urging them for the 
second position on the State ticket. For the office 
of City and County Clerk, F. W. Fowler, who is 
now First Deputy in the Tax-Collector's office, is an 
aspirant. He will have to meet as a competitor 
William Ruddick, who was a candidate before the 
last Republican Convention for the office of Tax 
Collector, and who should and would have received 
the nomination but that he was ruled out by Boss 
Higgins. 

Altogether the political atmosphere grows warmer 
and the dog-days of July and August will doubtless 
witness many a case of official hydrophobia. 

Mr. Scrawley : I don't think I ought to hide 
my talent under a bushel ; do you ? 

Miss Sharps : Most assuredly not. You should 
use a thimble. — Chicago Rambler. 



THE WASP. 



A VALENTINE. 



Away from Kentucky's green mountains, 
Away from its bright skies of blue, 

Away from its dancing clear fountains 
I hasten to gaze upon you ! 

Those landscapes, so fair, are behind me ! 

' Now torrents and gorges before— 

I care not : all things but remind me 

To hasten and see you once more. 

I am come. Nay, turn you not coldly, 
Nor scorn you this my poor "lay," 

It may be "the last," though thus boldly 
I hail you on Valentine's Day ! 

I hail you, dearest girl, so youthful ! 

I hail the fresh bloom on your cheek ! 
I hail you in this verse all truthful 

In words now forbidden to speak. 

And you, 0, Saint Valentine, clever, 

IJiail you and cry you, all grace ; 
I'll worship at your shrine forever, 

For through you I look in her face. 

Let the day and the Saint excuse me, 
And the many and long weary mile 

I have traveled — no, you cannot refuse me 
"What I'd barter my soul for— one smile. 

And that smile though to cold paper given, 

And that paper and I far apart ; 
Though from you and from heaven I'm riven — 

That smile shall come on to my heart. 

And if I would ask one more favor- 
Now cheap with my life-blood 'twere bought — 

If one smile you would give to this paper, 
You will keep for the writer — one thought. 

And that thought when in moments of gladness, 

You list to the voices of love, 
Shall come o'er his soul in its sadness 

As the dew comes from heaven above. 

And that smile and that thought together, 
Though sung in thfe simple strain, " 

Will tell him in fair or foul weather 
His life has not all been in .vain. 
San Francisco, Feb., 1886. Essex. 



ON HEN CULTURE. 



I am convinced that there is great economy in 
keeping hens, if there is sufficient room for them 
and a thorough knowledge of how to manage the 
fowls properly. But to the professional man who 
is not familiar with the habits of the hen, and whose 
mind does not naturally and instinctively turn hen- 
ward, I would say : Shun her as you would the 
deadly upas tree of Piscataquis county, Maine. 

Nature has endowed the hen with but a limited 
amount of brain force. Any one will notice that, if 
he will compare the skull of the average self-made 
hen with that of Daniel Webster ; taking careful 
measurements directly over the top from one ear to 
the other, the well-informed brain student will at 
once notice a great falling off in the region of rever- 
ence, and an abnormal bulging out in the location 
of alimentiveness. 

Now, take your tape-measure, and beginning at 
memory, pass carefully over the occipital bone to 
the base of the brain in the region of love of home 
and offspring, and you will see that, while the hen 
suffers much in comparison with the statesman in 
the relative size of sublimity, reflection, spirituality, 
time, tune, etc., when it comes to love of home and 
offspring she shines forth with great splendor. 

The hen does not care for the sublime in nature. 
Neither does she care for music. Music hath no 
charms to soften her tough old breast. But she 
loves her home and her country. I have sought to 
promote the interest of the hen to some extent, but 
I have not been a marked success in that line. 

I can write a poem in fifteen minutes. I always 
could dash off a poem whenever I wanted to, and a 
very good poem, too, for a dashed poem. I could 
write a speech for a friend in Congress—a speech 
that would be printed in the Congressional Record, 
and all over the United States, and be read by no 
one. I could enter the field of letters anywhere 
and attract attention, but when it comes to a sitting 
hen, 1 feel I am not worthy. I never feel my utter 
unworthiness as I do in the presence of a sitting hen. 

When the adult hen in my presence expresses a 
desire to sit, I excuse myself and go away. This is 



the supreme moment when a hen desires to be alone. 
That is no time for rue to intrude with my shallow 
levity. I never do it. 

It is after death that I most fully appreciate the 
hen. When she has been cut down early in life and 
fried, I respect her. No one can look upon the still 
features of a young hen overtaken by death in life's 
young morning, snuffed out as it were like" an old 
tin lantern in a gale of wind, without being visibly 
affected. 

But it is not the hen who desires to sit for the 
purpose of getting out an early edition of spring 
chickens that I am averse to. It is the aged hen, 
who is in her dotage, and whose eggs also are in 
their second childhood. Upon this hen I shower 
my anathemas. Overlooked by the pruning-hook 
of time, shallow in her remarks, and a wall-flower 
in society, she deposits her quota of eggs in the cat- 
nip conservatory, far from the haunts of men, and 
then in August, when eggs are very low and her 
collection of no value to any one but the antiquarian, 
she proudly calls attention to her summer's work. 

This hen does not win general confidence. Shunned 
by good society during life, her death is regretted 
only by those who are called upon to assist at her 
obsequies. Selfish through life, her death is re- 
garded as a calamity by those alone who are expected 
to eat her. 

And what has such a hen to look back upon in 
her closing hours ? A long life, perhaps, for lon- 
gevity is one of the characteristics of this class of 
hens ; but of what has that life been productive 1 

How many golden hours has she frittered away 
hovering over a porcelain door-knob trying to hatch 
out a litter of Queen Anne cottages ? How many 
nights has she passed in solitude on her lonely nest 
with a heart filled with bitterness toward all man- 
kind, hoping on against fate that in the fall she 
would come off the nest with a cunning little brick 
block perhaps. 

Such is the history of the aimless hen. While 
others were at work she stood around with her 
hands in her pockets and criticised the policy of 
those who labored, and when the summer waned 
she came forth with nothing but regret, to wander 
listlessly about and freeze off some more of her feet 
during the winter. For such a hen death can have 
no terrors. — Bill Nye, in "Chicago News." 



A BUDGET OF VALENTINES. 



The author of a new " opera without music " thus 
dedicates his work to the poet laureate : 

TO ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON. 

Take, Alfred, this mellifluous verse of mine 

Nor rank too high the honor I bestow, 

Howe'er it thrill thy soul with grateful pride. 

For thou hast sung of Arthur and his knights, 

And thou hast told of deeds that they have done, 

And thou hast told of loves that they have loved, 

And thou hast told of sins that they have sinned, 

And I have sung in my way, thou in thine. 

I think my way superior to thine. 

Yes, Alfred, yes, in loyal faith I do ; 

But if I do I may be right or wrong ; 

And whether right or wrong, what matters it ? 

For shall not swans be swans though geese are geese. , 

And if our swans be geese yet swans are deemed, 

The merrier for ourselves that deem them swans. 

So, take my verses, Alfred, nor with shame 

Too deeply blush, as when we gain a boon 

So precious that we know 'tis undeserved. 

For thou hast very creditably sung 

Of Arthur, if we judge thee all-in-all ; 

And I, if I more creditably sing, 

Can help it not ; but let us live our lives. 

For now o'er tilth and wold, o'er waste and weald, 

Full summer broods, the linnet warbles peace, 

The red kine stray, and butter has gone down ! 



A Teutonic coroner in an Ohio town was called 
upon the other day to "sit on" the case of a man 
who had been killed in an iron mill. In order to 
impress the jury with his honesty he began Iris 
address as follows : ft Schentlemen, I lief no ber- 
sonal interest in dis case. I hef been abbroached 
neder by der manufacturers nor der deceased. " 



A NEW DEAL. 
Quite an excitement has been produced among our local 
housekeepers by the novel method of popularizing their 
wares just adopted by the Merchants' Tea Company of 
834 Market street. Amid the teas and coffees disposed 
of by tliis company are distributed many really valuable 
gifts, consisting of watch-chains, watches, both gold and 
silver, diamond and other ornaments of considerable in- 
trinsic value. Many of our well-known citizens have been 
fortunate in securing very handsome results, as may be 
seen by the published lists. The tea sold is the Al brand 
known as the Tong Mow Chop, while the coffee is pure 
Java. Surely there is no one who really needs these 
standard necessities of housekeeping but will take the 
chances in their purchase of receiving a handsome prize. 
A blank means nothing lost, a prize something gained that 
"is well worth having. 



TO JOE REDDING. 

O learned ichthyologist, 
We mourn that Stoneman's quibble 

Should have given, great entomologist, 
A victory unto Dibble. 

Land'-loeked Salmon. 

TO CHARLES WEBB HOWARD. * 

We hail thee back from Eastern lands, 

We, Merced's Mi/gale podiens, 
And swarm about in happy bands ' 

To greet thee Stocans rodiens. 

Lake Merced. 

TO SHERIFF HOPKINS. 

Come with the rope, dear ! come with the rope ! 
Why must we linger, why must we mope? 
Come and comply with all citizens' hope, 
Haste with the rope, love, haste with the rope. 

Murderers' Bow. 

TO LLOYD TEVIS. 

Chief of Wells- Fargo's happy band, 
Long may the city's Talleyrand 
In purse improve, in fame grow greater, 
The West's sublime Connubiator. 

Many Citizens. 

TO PHILIP ROACH. 
Venerable citizen, though small in stature, heavy weight, 
Standing with the balance book of land account and real 

estate, 
May millionaires for years neglect to make their wills, and 

wait and wait, 
And heirs presumptive throng and throng about the 

administration gate. Blythe Heirs, 

TO JOHN P. IRISH. 

Eloquent editor, adjective dasher, 
Wielder of pronoun, adverbial crasher, 
Pixleyian Nemesis, Hearstian lasher, 
Ne'er before lived such a journalist smasher. 

United Interior Press. 

TO FRANK G. NEWLANDS. 
Unhappy, thrice unblest is he 
Who heedless sits upon a bee ; 
But Frank G., all audaciously, 
Sat squarely down on Judge McKee. 
Now Francis G., now Francis G., 
The Judge's sting is primed for thee. 

Short-hand Reporter. 

TO FRANK PIXLEY. 

Eccentric genius, just the same to you 
Whether the foe be Gentile or be Jew. 
And though on paper we've had many a spat, 
Send me your size and 111 return a hat. 
The crimson socks and other things at home 
You'll find are selling cheaply as in Rome. 

Leo. 

TO LUCKY BALDWIN. 

Little Dan Cupid never launched a dart, 
Never assailed a more elastic heart. 

Throbbing for dear and ducky, 
For blonde to-day, to-morrow for brunette, 
Still reaching wide for other loves to get, 

Sly Lucky, 
Amorous young gallant, now at last he knows 
What 'tis to pay for dalliance through the nose. 

Perkins. 

TO THE PARK COMMISSION. 

With that ©50,000 in the till, 

Look at sandy waste and great unsightly dune. 
Place grass and tree on storm-beaten hill, 

And don't go building ladders to the moon. 
For a grand and stately entrance, it is plain, 

The public will not object to wait : 
The wise man, beautifying his domain, 

Does not squander all his money on the gate, 

Tyler. 

TO CLERK M'CARTHY. 

Come from thy island. Come 

Back to thy party. 
Too long you've stayed from home, 

Blonde Clerk McCarthy. 
Come to thy battered safe, 

Slanderers befoul ye ; 
Come back, O fickle waif, 

Come back to Crowley, Janitor, 



THE WASP. 



THE VILLAINOUS FLEA. 



O the flea, the villainous Hen, 
Haunting the .sheets round my wife and me. 
Over the pillows, down to our feet, 
From our bender Sesh gets a regular treat; 
Dancing, flirting, gliding along, 
Villainous flea ' it does mighty wrong. 
Daring to drop on my w ife^B fair cheek. 
Or on my nosa-end in a frolicsome freak, 
Making me rail at the heavens above 
For sending tlii^ pest bo connubial hive. 

O the flea, the villainous nV:i, 

How it Beem.4 to revel in fiendish glee ! 

Hopping about it is hen- and there, 

Tasting our toes -then mixed with our hair, 

Gliding, jumping, creeping by, 

Lights on our mouth or drops in our eye. 

Till at last we get up with a yell and a hound 

And, eager for vengeance, scan all around. 

But alas ! our tormentor is quicker than we, 

And we never can catch that ubiquitous flea. 

Once I was sure of a flea— hut it fell, 

Fell from my clutches and gave me— well, 

While my wife, who had watched by the bide of the bed, 

A score of choice epithets hurls at my head ; 

Scoffing, scolding as she only can, 

Says I'm the clumsiest, awkwardest man. 

Tired and disgusted, to bed back we creep 

And try but in vain to drown sorrow in sleep. 

ye pitiful gods ! shall we never be free 

From that foe to old Morpheus, the villainous flea ? 

How strange it would be if that villainous flea 

Should abandon its feasts on my wife and me ; 

How strange it would be when the night comes again 

To He without fear of that sudden, sharp pain ; 

Chatting, dozing, snoring in peace, 

From those sudden twinges a sweet release, 

Freed from that most ignominious scratching 

And jeers from the wife on our failure at catching ; 

To sleep and to wake in a bed that is free 

From that little brown demon, the villainous flea. 



THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY. 



K. 
Kill, v. t. To create a vacancy without nominating 
an incumbent. 

Kilt, n. A barbaric costume sometimes worn by 
Scotchmen in England and America, and by 
Englishmen and Americans in Scotland. 

Kindness, n. A brief preface to ten volumes of 
exaction. 

Kine, n. Cows. 

If kine is the plural of cow, 

And the plural of sow is swine, 
Then pumpkins may hang from a vow, 

And coronets rest upon brine. 

King, n. A male person commonly known in this 
country as a "crowned head," though he never 
wears a crown and has usually no head to 
apeak of. 

A king, in times long, long gone by, 
Said to his lazy jester : 
" If I were you and you were I 
My moments merrily would fly — 
Nor care nor grief to pester. " 

'* The reason, Sire, that you would thrive," 
The fool said— "if you'll hear it — 
Is that of all the fools alive 
Who own you for their sovereign, I've 
The most forgiving spirit." 

Kings-evil, n. A malady that was formerly cured 
by the touch of the sovereign, but has now to 
be treated by the doctors. Thus, "the most 
pious Edward," of England, used to lay his 
royal hand upon his ailing subjects and make 
them whole — 

"a crowd of wretched souls 
That stay his cure : their malady convinces 
The great essay of art ; but at his touch, 
Such sanctity hath heaven given his hand 
They presently amend," 

As the "Doctor" in Macbeth hath it. This 
useful property of the royal hand could, it 
appears, be transmitted, along with other crown 
properties; for according to "Malcolm," 
" 'tis spoken, 

To the succeeding royalty he leaves 

The healing benediction." 
But the gift somewhere dropped out of the line 



of succession; the later sovereigns ol England 
have not been magnetic healers, and the disease 
once honored with the name " king's-evil " now 

bean tin.- h bier one of "scrofula," from 

scivfa, a sow. It has been reduced t»> the 
ranks, as it were. The date and author of the 
following epigram are unknown, bul it is old 
enough to snow that the jest about Scotland's 

national disnl'der is not a thing nf yesterday, 

nor an invention ->f Peter Robertson of the 

' 'hi'istirl, : 

Ye Kyngft-his evHl in me lays, 

Wh. he of Seottlando charmed awaye. 

He layde his hand on mine and sayd : 

" Be gone ! " Ye ill no longer stayd. 

But ye wofoB plyght in wh. 

I'm now y-pigttt : 1 have ye itche ! 
The superstition that maladies can be cured by 
royal taction is dead, but like many a departed 
conviction it has left a monument of custom to 
keep its memory given. The practice of form- 
ing in line and snaking the President's hand 
had no other origin; and when "the most 
pious (hover" the other day treated to his 
healing benediction some six thousand 

"strangely visited people, 
All swoln and ulcerous, pitiful to the eye, 
The mere despair of surgery," 
He and his patients were handing along an 
extinguished torch which once was kindled at 
the altar-fire of a faith long held by all classes 
of men. It is a beautiful and edifying "sur- 
vival " — one which brings the sainted past very 
close home to our " business and bosoms." 

Kiss, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme 
for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a 
general way, some kind of rite or ceremony 
appertaining to a good understanding ; but the 
manner and purpose of its performance are 
unknown to the author of this dictionary. 

Kleptomaniac, n. A disinterested thief. 

Knight, n. 

Once a warrior of gentle birth, 
Then a person of civic worth, 
Now a fellow to move our mirth. 
Warrior, person and fellow — no more : 
We must knight our dogs to get any lower. 
Brave Knights Kennelers then shall be, 
Noble Knights of the Golden Flea, 
Knights of the Order of St. Steboy, 
Knights of St. Uorge and Knights of Jawy, 
Lord speed the day when this "knighting' 
Shall go to the dogs and the dogs go mad. 

Koran, n. A book which the Mohammedans fool- 
ishly believe to have been written by divine 
inspiration, but which Christians (without read- 
ing it) know to be a wicked imposture, contra- 
dictory to the Holy Scriptures. 

Krishna, n. A form under which the pretended 
god Vishnu became incarnate. A very likely 
story indeed. 



*JO DAY SEED CORN. 



Mr, Editor !>•„, Sir: I have a quantity of a 
superior quality of extra large field corn which has 
lately been originated, and which will mature in 90 
days, thus filling a want long felt. Ban From 12 to 
14 inches lung, grains unuauallj large, oob slender, 
L30 bushels of shelled corn of this variety has been 
raised per acre. 

As I am extremely anxious to know what this 
corn will do in other climates bef«»re advertising it 
for sale, 1 will send a large sample package to any 
farmer who will give it a fair trial and proper atten- 
tion and report his success with it, and who will in- 
close 10c. in silver to pay postage, packing, etc., 
thereon. In order to induce farmers to take un- 
usually good care of this com so that I may have 
good reports to advertise next season, 1 will give 
$25 in gold as a premium to the one who raises the 
best ear and sends the best report, and $10 for 2d 
beBt. Address, F. E. Fross, 

New Carlisle, O. 

The following is a condensed report from farmers 
whom 1 sent p'k'g's to last season : 

Rec'd the p*k'g of 00 day corn; planted it May 8th, 
uhucked it Aug. 9th. Wji. ANDERSON, LaPraire, ILL 

The 90 day corn is all that yon claim for it. 

J no. K. MoSBT, Lauderdale, Miss. 
• 
90 day corn rec'd. Father who is an old corn raiser 
says: "I never saw such big ears, small cob and large 
grains before. " J. Steele, Clayville, O. 

90 day corn rec'd.; all came up. The last of May we 
had a frost which froze it even with the ground ; 31 stalks 
sprouted, from those 31 stalks I rec'd '.I p'k's of good sound 
corn. It has given satisfaction. 

O. L. GOUSAR, Snydertown, Pa. . 

The plc'g of corn you sent me has done well, it was ripe 
in 90 days. Dtt. T. W. Jonkh, Camell, 111. 

90 day corn rec'd. I am highly pleased with it, in fact 
think it the best corn I ever saw. L. P. Grimes, 

Recorder of Harrison Co., Cadiz, O. 

Rec'd the 90 day corn. There was a hole in the wrapper 
and all lost but 21 grains ; planted May 12th and Aug. 
12th had 30 ears of the best corn I ever saw. It is all that 
you claim for it and more too. Nothing in reason would 
induce me to be without it again. 

M. H. Hamlet, Madisonville, Va. 



* fad 



"Talking about politeness," said Jones this 
morning, "I believe Napa can produce the most 
polite man in the county. I will not mention his 
name, but he went into his buggy-shed the other 
day to get out his vehicle for a ride. The move- 
ments of the buggy frightened a hen off her nest, 
and as she fluttered around cackling our hero at 
once dropped his buggy-shafts, took off his hat, 
made a polite bow and said: 'Keep your seat, 
madam ; keep your seat.' " — Napa Register. 

A very pretty little girl, only three years old, 
attracted the attention of passengers in a New York 
train for this city the other day, and finally one 
gentleman succeeded in getting her upon his knees. 
" Where are you going, sissy ? " he inquired. " I'm 
doin' to Hartford," said the child, adding eagerly, 
" I've dot on a new pair of flannel drawers ! Did 
you ever have a pair of flannel drawers 'I " Further 
inquiries were smothered in the laughter of every- 
body within hearing. — Hartford Times. 

There are about as many ways of pronouncing 
Mikado as there are actors and play-goers, but the 
immortal Shakespeare takes the cake as usual. He 
calls it Much Ado. 

CATAKRH, CATARRHAL DEAFNESS 
HAY FEVER. 
A new treatment has been discovered whereby a per- 
manent cure of these hitherto incurable diseases is abso- 
lutely effected in from one to three applications, no 
matter whether standing one year or forty years. This 
remedy is only applied once in twelve days and does not 
interfere with business. Descriptive pamphlet sent free 
on receipt of stamp, by A. H. Dixon & Son, 305 King- 
street west, Toronto, Canada. 



PATRONIZE WHITE LABOR 

BUY YOUR SHOES 

NOLAN '&* SONS. 

We employ 150 men anil .15 yii-Is making 
shot's. We have never employed a Chinaman 
in onr Factory. 

Oar Factory is open for inspection. 

We pay $10,000 a month for White I^abor. 

N0LAN& SONS 

812 & 814 MARKET ST. 

(Phelan Building.) 

FACTORY : 

Nos. 67, 69, 71 and 73 Stevenson St. 



SAN FRANCISCO. 



■EXTRAfifr'BEEF 



U N I VERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED 
SUPERIOR TO ALufi-HERS BY PHYBI- 
CIANS,CHEM ISTS AND S0IENTIF 
10 MEN GENERALLY; 

ONE TRIAL INSURES AN 
'ENDORSEMENT. . J 

J0HNT.CUTTING&C0 

SOLE AGENTS 



Tl-Sj, 



***r 




SHE OPES HER GOLD 
THE WHOLE WORLD 



ASP. 




GATE AND FINDS 
DS ITS VALENTINES. 



SCHMIDT LABELS LITHO. CO., SAN FRANCISCU 



10 



THE WASP 



TU TT'S 
PILLS 



25 Y EARS IN USE. 

The Greatest Medical Triump h of the Agel 
SYMPTOMS OF A 

TORPID LIVER. 

IiOSB of appetite* Bowels costive, Pain in 
the head* with a dull sensation in the 
back part. Fain under the shoulder- 
blade, Fullness after eating, with a dis- 
inclination to exerticnof body or mind, 
Irritability of temper, Low spirits, with 
afeelinaof havins nefflected some duty, 
Weariness, Dizziness, Fluttering at the 
Heart* Dots before the eyes, Headache 
over the right eye, Restlessness, with 
fitful dreams, Highly colored Urine* and 

CONSTfiPATION. 

TUTT'S PIIXS are especially adapted 
to such cases, one dose effects such a 
change of feeling as to astonis lithe sufferer. 

They Increase the Appetlte,and cause tho 
body to Take on Flesh, thus the system is 
nourished, and by their Tonic Action on 
the l>igeitiveOr(CttnB,Kceiilar Stools are 
produced. Price J5c. 4* Murray St.. W.Y. 

TUTT'S EXTRACT SARSAPAR1LLA 

Renovates the body, makes healthy flesh, 

strengthens the weak, repairs tho wastes of the 

system with pure blood and hard inus !e; tones 

the nervous s.vstem, invigorates the brain, and 

imparts the vigor of manhood. $ I. Soid by 

druggists. 

OFFICE: 44 Karray St., STe w York. 



PURE OLD TENNESSEE 




WHITE RYE WHISKY. 



A. FENKHAUSEN & GO. 



414 FEONT ST. 



San Francisco, Cal. 




Capital, Paid in Full, 

$200,000 00 

Assets Dec. 31, 1885, 

$456,840 71 

JLOSSES PAI1> 
Since Company Organized, 

$1,346,670 46 

PiUNCIPAL Ot'yiCB, 

SS© California St., 

(Safe Deposit Building) S. F. 

President 
Secretary 



JOHN H. WISE, 
CHAS. A. LATON, 



AGAIHi i:* THE F!UM»! 

CRUSHED INDIAN 

FOR BREAKFAST. 

JOHN T. CUTTING & Co., Sole Agents. 



A FRIENDLY OFFER. 



In this life we all meet with our crosses, 

Our pains and our penalties pay ; 
To-day we may grieve o'er our losses, 

To-morrow we'll laugh and be gay. 
Our course may run calm and unruffled 

For weeks or for months or for years, 
Then a change, and we've everything muffled, 

And every one round us in tears. 

Ah, life has its chops and its changes, 

Its stakes and ambitions and goals, 
By them 'tis the Lemon arranges 

Temptation shall trouble our souls. 
For who couldn't do without sinning 

And free be from blame to the end. 
If he lived without toiling or spinning, 

And always had money to spend ! 

Now that's what a wealthy man told me, 

Who heard me repining aloud. 
Said he, " You are wrong, for behold me 

The saddest of all in this crowd. 
Believe me, in wealth there's no pleasure 

You cannot without it attain. 
How often, though laden with treasure, 

I wish I were humble again." 

Said I, "Mr. Dives, I'm willing 

And anxious your word to believe ; 
With gratitude I am fast tilling 

And pining to think that you grieve. 
True sympathy banishes sorrow, 

Let mine lead you on to glee, 
And the way is — I'll ask you to-morrow 

To hand o'er your trouble to me ! " 

— Jack and Jill. 

THE BORES. 



There's the man who lets yon shake his limpy hand — 

He's a bore ; 
And the man who leans against you when you stand — 
Get his gore. 
There's the man who has a fear 
That the world is, year by year, 
Growing worse — perhaps he's near — 
Lolt the door. 

There's the fellow with conundrums quite antique — 

He's a bore ; 
And the man who asks you "What? "whene'er you speak, 
Though you roar. 
There's the man who slaps your back 
With a button- bursting whack ; 
If you think he's on your track, 
Bolt the door. 

There's the punster with his everlasting pun — 

He's a- bore ; 
And the man who makes alliterative "fun" — 
Worse and more ! 
There's the man who tells the tale 
That a year ago was stale- 
Like as not he's out of ail— 

Eolt the door. — The Chiel. 



DID YOU EVER. 



Did you ever see a woman 

Who would see a mirror hang 
And not stop to look upon it, 

Just to readj ust her bang ? 

Have you seen a man so ugly 
That you could not find his mate, 

Or a man so true and noble 

That none others were so great ? 

Did you ever see a miser 

Who would all his dollars save, 

Who could bribe the King of Terrors 
Not to file him in the grave ? 

Did you ever see a masher 

With his toilet taking pains, 
Who could prove beyond a question 
That he carried any brains ? ! 

We pause for an answer. 

— St. Louis Whip. 



It is said that Mr. Taber, the photographer, 
experienced all the vicissitudes of anger, perplexity 
and. admiration, the other day, when a customer 
called him a " mug "-wuinp. 

A certain old fellow went down in the cellar 
For of liquor he'd long been bereft ; 

But with awe be it spoken, the bottle was broken, 
And so the old fellow got left ! 

The matter of Canon Farrar's discourse is erudite 
and pointed, but his delivery is best characterized 
by the criticism of a bright Chicago man, who said 
after his lecture in that city: "I know now how 
that Indian felt who said, it always made him- heap 
tired to see white men mow." — Kansas City Journal. 

Little drops of water, 
Humble though they seem, 

Make the grocer's fortune 
And the milkman's cream. 



I LE S 



r 



ART PAIN'TED, 
ENCAUSTIC, 
GLAZED AND 
PLAIN. 




1 



For 
Fi OORS, WALLS 
\ EARTHS and 
MANTEL FAC- 
INGS. 



W. W. MONTAGUE & CO. 

MANTELS, GRATES, FENDERS, ANDIRONS, 

HOT AIR FUttiHACES, 

300, 311, 313, 315, 317 Market street, 

(Between Beale and Fremont,) 
SAN FRANCISCO. 



GOLDBERG, BOWEN & GO. 

THE LEADING GROCERS, 
428 TO 432 PINE ST., S. F. 

HAVE THE 

LARGEST STOCK, 

FRESHEST GOODS,. 

GREATEST VARIETY, 

LOWEST PRICES, and 

PROMPTEST BM1IVIICV 

Of any Grocery Establishment on the Pacific 
Coast. 

COUNTRY ORDERS RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION. 

Send for Catalogue of Prices. General Re- 
duction in Prices. 

Telephone No. 1. 

GOOD OOOI>S! 
CHEAP PRICES. 

GHOIGE FAMILY GROCERIES 

TEAS AlVD COFFEES. 

BUTTER AND EG($ OUR SPECIALTY. 

City and Country Orders promptly attended 
to and dispatched FREE OF CHARGE. 

DEWITT & HARRIS, 

216 SIXTH STREET. 

SEND FOR OUR PRICE LIST, 

We respectfully request a comparison of our 
prices with others. 

CHAS. EDELMAN 

HAS OPK5IEIJ AST EI-EtiANT 

CIGAR STORE 



JUN. OF MARKET, TURK & MASON STS. 

Under Truestlell lEonse, 

Where he would be pleased" to see his friends and the public. 



FINEST OF 

Imported and Domestic Cigars, Tobacco, Cigarettes, 
Smokers' Articles, etc., etc. 



THE WASP. 



11 




This af term inn Sal vim appears at the Baldwin matinee 
in Iub magnificent portrayal of "King Lear." This and 
to-morrow evening Alexandre Salvini will appear as 
"Romeo." Ingonutr, in which the great Italian created 
such an unbounded enthusiasm in New York, has been 
postponed until next week, when Salvini's masterpieces of 
Othello and CoriuUtnus will also be repeated. As might 
be expected the house continues to be crowded to the 
doors, and good seats are only obtainable by application 
several days in advance. 

Sieba continues its unprecedented business at the Cali- 
fornia, and as to-day's matine'e and the performances of 
this and Sunday evening conclude the Kiralfy engagement 
at this theater, those who have not enjoyed this aggrega- 
tion of spectacular wonders hand best be in time for seats 
before Tin- Seven Havens becomes a spectacular dream of 
the past. Our theater-goers will be rejoiced to learn, how- 
ever, that the immense popularity here of the Kiralfy 
troupe has decided its managers to linger yet awhile among 
us, for the purpose" of reproducing the greatest of their suc- 
cesses, Around the World in Eighty Days. With this 
object the Grand Opera House has been leased, and on 
Monday said superb spectacle will be put upon its boards 
with all the greater facilities for display and ensemble 
afforded by the more commodious stage of our largest 
theater. All the splendid specialties of the past engage- 
ment will be presented, as well as some new and gorgeous 
novelties in scenic effects. Popular prices will prevail, so 
that all will have an opportunity of enjoying by far the 
most imposing and complete representation of the kind 
ever witnessed on this coast. 

A large house greeted Miss Morris' benefit in After 
Twenty Years at the Bush Street last evening. Mr. 
Ciprico's work now shows the natural result of condensa- 
tion at the hands of his very capable company, and the 
perfoimance goes with much greater smoothness and effect. 
Mr. l)e Belleville's part is now rendered with aE the elab- 
oration and finish peculiar to that exceptionally fine artist. 
His benefit this evening will be, as it deserves, a bumper, 
the house being already largely sold. On Monday the 
management will present Boucicault's last work, The Jilt, 
than which no more exquisite example of genuine high 
comedy has ever left the pen of our "modern Sheridan. 1 ' 
The cast will be an exceedingly strong one, as befits the 
character of the play, which would inevitably surfer in 
mediocre hands, the very cream of the local talent having 
been engaged, with a regardlessness of expense that can 
hardly fail to be thoroughly appreciated by the audience 
at least. 

The Widow O'Brien continues to receive her many ad- 
mirers at the Tivoli, the management having evidently 
heard of the homely adage "when you have a good thing 
keep it." The Widow is not only a good thing of itself, 
but the original pudding is filled with plenty of plums in 
the shape of novel and taking specialties, and even these 
are to be changed next week for others still newer to our 
public. The ten Xylaphone players especially grow nightly 
in popularity, their delightful music being alone worth the 
absurdly small price charged for so complete and enjoyable 
a performance, 

The attractions at the Fountain have been materially 
added to this week by the engagement of George Turner, 
whose claim to the title of "Prince of Comiques," has re- 
ceived a nightly indorsement from his audiences. S. G. 
Beasley also continues a first favorite with the patrons of 
this comfortable and admirably managed resort, and with 
the new specialties introduced by half a score of lesser 



laughmakerfl the Fountain programme will be found by 
far the most acceptable variety performance offered our 
oera, 

Of Late tin- uinin Waste have been blasting with 
a »i-L'at d.-al nf l.la.sticity. i\ S. " Findings is keep- 
ings," It' anyone can find that last word in the 
dictionary they can have it. Peck'* 8m\ 



1 ow<? rny 
Restoration 

tohealth 
and B^abty 
' to the 

C U T I c U RA 
Remedies" 



rWSFIGURING Humors, Humiliating' Eruptions, Itching Tort- 
*-* urea, Eczemi, Pnomsis, Scrofula and Infantile Humors cured 
by tho Cuticura Remkdiks. 

^uticura Rkhoi.vrnt, the new blood purifier, cleanBes tho blood 
and perspiration of impurities and poisonous olementB, and re- 
moves the Cause. 

Citticura, tho great Skin Ore, instantly allays Itching and In- 
flammation, clears the Skin and Scalp, heals Ulcers and restores 
the Hair. 

Coticora Soap, an etquiBite Skin Beautifier, Is indispensable in 
treating Skin Diseases, Baby Humors, skin Blemishes, Chapped 
and Oil}' Skin. 

Sold everywhere. Price, Cuticura, 50 cents; Soap, 25 cents; 
Resolvent, §1. Prepared by the Potter Drug and Ciikmical Co., 
Boston, Mass. 

gtf? Send for ' ' How to Cure Skin Dise ses " 

Sharp, Sudden, Sciatic, Nem- Juic, Rheumatic and Nervous 
Pains instantly relieved by Cuticura Anti- aim Pi-abtkr. 



THRIFT AND HUMOR. 




§100! 
Genuine Diamonds found in Cans of Tea & Coffee. 

THE MERCHANTS' TE/TCOMPANY OF CHICAGO 

Have opened a Branch Store at No. 834 Market street. Their 
TEAS and COFFEES are packed In paper cans ; the tea, can and 
contents, weighing about one and one-half pounds ; the coffee, can 
and contents, weighing about three pounds. Every one contains 
a souvenir, such as solid gold, silver and nickel watches ; also 
genuine diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, pearls and other 
jewels. This company has adopted this method of advertising 
their choice brands of tea and coffee, but after sixty days they 
will be sold only on their merits, at the same price, same quality 
and same quantity, but without the souvenir, the goods being 
worth the price asked at a fair valuation without any regard to the 
souvenirs. This company has established seventy-six branches in 
various parts of the United States, none of which are now giving 
the souvenirs in the cans of tea and coffee, as the time has expired, 
yet each agent has a large and rapidly growing trade, as the supe- 
rior quality of their goods becomes known. We shall publish 
from day to day a partial list of those who find valuable souvenirs 
in the cans of tea and coffee. Below a partial list of the fortunate 
fortunate purchasers yesterday : 

A. R. Chinise, 154 Steuart street, found a genuine diamond stud 
in a can of coffee. 

Mi's. A. Dunn, 111.0 Taylor street, diamond collar button. 

Mrs. M. D. Sweeney, 120 Fourth street, diamond ring. 

Mrs. T. A, Stevens, San Diego, Cal., diamond collar button. 

Miss L. Pheifer, 557 Haight street, diamond collar buttons. 

Mrs. Jenner, 648 Howard street, stem-winding, stem-setting 
watch. 

P. C. Baldwin, 619 Eighteenth street, diamond collar button and 
diamond stud. 

William Sehuels, 33H Union street, stem-winding, stem-setting 
watch. 

E. R. Hindley, S27 -Market street, diamond stud. 

L. Livingston, 1188 Howard street, diamond collar button. 

C. B. Ball, 1110 Taylor street, diamond stud. 

Senator M. Lane, 326 Davis street, three-stone diamond ring. 

W. W. Elliott, carpenter, southeast corner Esmeralda avenue 
and Lundy's lane, diamond collar button. 

J. Baruth, tailor, 1'helan building, diamond ring. 

Mrs. John Haglen, 534 Jones street, diamond collar button. 

Mary Murphy, 147 Montgomery street, raid ring. 

J. V. Hale, 7*11 Buchanan St., stcm-windim,'. stem-setting watch. 

Charles Smith, 70S -Mission st. , stem-winding, stem-setting watch. 

C. H. Schmidt, clerk at Russ House, diamond collar button. 

W. L. Grant, lodging-house, 12 Ellis street, diamond ruby- 
sapphire ring. 

Mrs. McC'ue, 615 Hush street, genuine diamond ring. 

F. M. Allen, night watchman, 807 Kearny st., genuine diamond 
stud, three-stone diamond ring ; also gent's solid gold hunting- case 
watch. , „ , ^ 

T. A. Eagleson, 1036 and 1038 Market st, diamond collar button. 

Gwin Durst, 561 Stevenson street, diamond stud. 

H. Newman, Evening Post, diamond collar button. 

S. K. Marham, expressman, found a solid coin silver hunting- 
ease, full-jeweled American watch in a can of tea for which he 
paid $1. 

Charles Sanborn, a clerk on Market street, found a solid stem- 
winding chatelaine watch in a can of coffee. 

P. J. Samson, Kearny street, found a genuine diamond collar 
button, solid gold setting, in a can of coffee. 

Orders by mail promptly forwarded to all parts of the United 
States on receipt of cash or postal note. 

Terms— Single cans, #l ; six for 85; twelve for $10; twenty-five 
for ¥20 ; sixty-five for §50. Address 

MERCHANTS' TEA COMPANY, 

S34 Market St.. Snn t'ranriMeo. Cal. 



CANDY 



CANDY 



Confectioner, 



Send $1, $2, $3 or $4 for a sample retail 
box by express of the best candies in 
America. Put up in elegant boxes and 
strictly pure. Suitable for presentB. Ex- 
press charges light. Refers to all Chicago. 
Try it once. Send for catalogue. Address, 

C. F. GUNTHER, 

CIUCAdiO. 



There are several men out herein the wild and woolly 
West who ere afraid M. Pasteur will discover a better 
remedy for snake bite than whisky. Ml rohant TraveU r. 

\ drunkard has no grounds for displaying bis reel state, 

but the man who drinks Philadelphia lag^r beer will no ver- 
bs "tr bis I isse. 

hfost men like bo see themselves in " print," but women 
don't. They prefer *ilk or satin, and they have a decided 
preference for Moraghan's prime 03 aters, ( lalifornia 

Market. ( 

The daj <>f the comic valentine m near at hand, when 
we all shall sue mil-selves aw others imagine they see us, 

and borrow money from Uncle Jacobs, 013 Pacific street. 

Spooks wis at a dinner party when the plastering fell 
from the ceiling above, and he described it a,s "mortar- 
fying in the extreme," and sent the carpets to be cleaned 
at A. II. Baldwin's, 132} and 1323 Market Btreet. 

The man who put up a peanut stand on the public weigh- 
ing platform, said hi/ was trying, with a small capital, to 

do business on a large wale, but found money enough to 
buy his wife a New Home Sewing .Machine. 

The most thoughtful man living is the one who immedi- 
ately Btopped dying when reminded that his life insurance 
policy had expired. And so is the man who Btopa at 

the Ynseiuite. llonse when his business or inclinations, or 
both combined, lead him to Stockton. 

Sewing girls are paid seventy-five cents a dozen for mak- 
ing shirts and yet a married woman won't sew a button on 
one until she has been promised a pair of diamond earrings 
and a sealskin sac<iue ; but married or single they all like 
Manning's oysters, at 428 Pine street. 

Bill Nye thinks a young man should spend two years in 
meditation and prayer before he tackles journalism. Most 
of our journalists do the meditation and prayer act after 
they have spent two years in journalism, but the man who 
is the prey of an aching tooth is a fool, when C. O. Dean, 
T>. I). S., 12(3 Kearny street (Thurlow block), will extract 
it without pain. 

"Metals are more active," wrote the market reporter 
whose wife had hastened his exit that morning with a fly- 
ing fiat-iron. When he returned later from a visit to J. 
\V. Evans, 2'J Post street, sole agent for the Domestic 
Sewing Machine, he was received with more cordiality. 

"O, Arthur, how happy I would be alone with you on 
a quiet island in the distant ocean!" "Have you any 
other wish, dearest Ella? " " O, yes, do get me tickets for 
the matine'e." He did, and when they were married they 
stopped at the Highland Springs Hotel, C. M. Bates, pro- 
prietor, Lake county, and spent a glorious honeymoon. 

The Indians and restaurant keepers of Arizona are bad 
characters. Their victims are tortured at the steak. This 
is a tough joke, but it is no joke that S. J. Pembrooke, 212 
O'Farrell street, can make an old watch as good as new. 

In another column will be found the notice of the change 
of the Grand Hotel bar to the new proprietorship of 
Edward Fay and John E. Doyle. Messrs. Doyle and Fay 
constitute a firm that combines all that is skillful and suc- 
cessful in the art of saloon keeping, the former having 
brought the Lick House establishment up to its present 
prosperous condition, while the latter is known and liked 
all over the country as the most popular man in his business 
on our coast, his friends among the traveling public being 
legion. What the Catacomb-like corridors of the Palace 
will do without the genial " Ned " it is hard to say. 

It is a suggestive fact that a barn-storming "Uncle Tom's 
Cabin " company in a Western town was recently kicked 
. off the stage by the donkeys employed in the piece. There 
are some things that even a donkey can't stand, but those 
who once drink A. Fiuke's widow California Champagne 
swear by it forever afterwards. 

The Sultan of Turkey is said to be extremely fond of 
taffy. He receives his principal supply from his harem. 
He is also partial to Tolenas Soda, a proof of the old man's 
w isilom. 

A San Jose woman stepped on a tack lately and was 
taken with lockjaw in a few days. Two days after she 
was taken, there wasn't a paper of tacks to be had in town. 
Tyler Beach of the St. James Hotel is our authority for 
the above malicious assertion. 

Several hundred Almanacs are issued every year, but for 
the politician and public-spirited citizen the one issued by 
the Tribune is probably of the most value. A copy of the 
number for 1880 has just been received by us. The Tributu 
has given a great variety of information about gold and 
silver, the President's inaugural address, the popular vote 
for President since 1804, and the financial reports of the 
Government. The figures are official and have been com- 
piled with great care. The statistics as to the general 
operations of the Government are elaborate. The Almanac 
has the new postage rates, a list of the new Congress and 
its Committees, .showing the operations of the new Tariff 
law. A great variety of political and statistical informa- 
tion is contained in this useful Almanac. The price per 
copy is 30 cents. 

Mr. Otto Nermann, 411 Bush street, is the sole agent for 
Lemp's St. Louis beer for the Pacific Coast. 



CURE YOUR COLD. 
All persons suffering from Cough, Cold, Asthma, Bron- 
chitis, Loss of Voice or any affection of the Throat and 
Lungs should try 38 Cough Mixture and be cured. For 
sale by all druggists. ■ B. J. Rhodes & Co., manufacturers, 
San Jose, Cal, 



12 



THE WASP. 



SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

Trains leave, and nre due to arrive at 

Oakland Ferry, foot of Market St., 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



LKAVK 

(for) 


From Oct. 13, 1885 


AHF.1VE 

(from) 




Evron 


J6.10 p. 
•10.10 A. 


S.OOA. 


. .Calistoga and Napa 


•4.00 p. 


" " " .. 


0.10 P. 


7.30 a. 




6.40 p. 


7.30 A. 


. . Delta, Reddtn £ and Port ianc 


6.40 p. 


•3.30 P. 


..Gait, via Martinez 


•10.40 A. 


8.00 A. 


. .lone, via Livermore 


6.40 P. 


4.00 P. 


..Knight's Landing 


10.10 a. 


•6.00 P. 


..Livermore and Pleasanton. 


•8.40 A. 


8.00 A. 




6.10 p. 


•8.00 A. 


..Milton 


"7.10 p. 


3.30 p. 


) Mojave, Deming j Express 
f El Paso and Kast ( Emigrant 


10.40 A. 


3.30 p. 


10.10 A. 


10.00 A. 


. .Niles and Hayward'a. 


3.40 P. 


3.00 p. 


1 Ogden and East 1 Express 
) " " " t Emigrant 


11.10 a. 


3.00 p. 


11.10 A. 


7.30 A. 


. .Red Bluff, via tfarysville. . . 


6.40 P. 


8.00 A. 


..Sacramento, via Livermore 


5.40 P. 


7.30 A. 


" via Benicia. .. 


6.40 P. 


3 OOP 


" via benicia. . . 


11.10 A. 


4.00 P. 


" via Benicia. . . 


10.10 A. 


•4.00 p. 


. .Sacramento River ateamers 


•6.00 A. 








tlO.OOA. 
3.00 P. 




J3.40 1". 
9.40 A. 


<< 


8.00 a 


..Stockton, via Livermore. .. 


5.40 p. 


•9.30 a. 


" vii Mirtinez. . . . 


'7.10 p. 


•3.30 P. 


" via Martinez 


-10.40 A. 


•9.30 a. 


. .Tulate and Fresno 


•7.10 p. 



A for morning. 



p for afternoon. 



From San Francisco, daily. 

To EAST OAKLAND— -6.00, «6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 
8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30. 11.00, 1L. 30, 
12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00. 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00 5.30,6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 
10.00, 11.00, "12.00. 

To FRUIT VALE— "6.00, '6.30, "7.00, "7.30, »8.00, 
•8.30, -3.30, M.00, '4.30, -5.00, -5.30, -6.00, 
•6.30, 9.00. 

To FRUIT VALE (via Alameda)— '9.30, 6.30, 
J11.00, «12.00 

To ALAMEDA -*6.00 '6.30, 7.00 *7.30, 8.00, 
•8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, J10.30, n.oo, (11.30, 
12.00, J12.30, 1.00, 11.30. 2.00, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 
4.30, 5,00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 1. 00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 
11.00, "12.00. 

ToBlOKKELEY— *6.00, '6.30, 7.00, "7.30, 8.00, 
■8.30, 9.00, 19.30, 10.00, 110.30, 11.00, 111.30, 
12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 4.30 5.00,5.30,6.00, 
6.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00 "12.00. 

To WEST BEKKuLEi' — '6.00, "6.30, 7.00, "7.30, 
18.00, -8.30, 9.00, 10.00, 11.00, (1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 
4.00, *4.30, 5.00, *5.30, 6.00, •6.J0, 7.00. 
To San Francisco, daily. 

From FRUIT VALE - "6.23, *6.53, "7.23, "7.53, 
•8.23, •S.M, "9.23, "10.21, *4.23, "4.53, "5.23, 
•5.53, "6.23, *6.53, 7.25, 9.: 0. 

From FRUIT VALE (via Alameda) -•5.15, "5.4i, 
16.45, 19.15, -3.15. 

From E ST OAKLAND— »5. 30, "6.00, C.30, 7.00, 
7.30, 8.00, S.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 
11.30, 12.00, 12.30, 1.00, 1.30, 2.00, 2.30, 3.00, 
3.30, 4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00,7.57, 
8.57, 9.57, 10.57. 

From BROADWAY, Oakland— 7 minutes later 
than from East Oakland. 

From ALAMEDA -"5.22, •5.52, •6.22, 6.52, *7.22, 
7.62, «8.22. 8.52, 9.22, 9.51, 110.22, 10.52, 111.22, 
11.52, 112.22, 12.62. 11.22, 1.52, 2.52, 3.22, 3.52, 
4.22, 4.52, 6.22 5.52, 6.22, 6.52, 7.52, 8.52,9.52, 
10.52. 

From BERKELEY-«5.15, *5.45, "6.15, 6.4S, 
•7.15, 7.45,«8.15, 8.45, 19.15,9.45. 110.15, 10.45, 
111.15, 11.45, 12.45, 1.45, 2.45, 3.45, 4.15, 4.45, 
5.15, 5.45, 6.15, 6.45, 7.45, 8.45, 9.45, 10.45. 

From WES1' BfcRKEl,EY- *.i.45, *6.15, 6.45, 
•7.15, 7.45, S.45, (9.15, 9.45, 10.45, 112.45, 1.45, 
2.45, 3.45, 4.45, «5.15, 6.45, «6.15, 6.45, *7.15. 

I'rccb K»utc. 

From SAN FRANCISCO— «7.15, 9.15, 11.16, 1.15, 

3.15, 5.15. 

From OAKLAND -«6.15, 8.15, 10.15, 12.15, 2.15, 

4.16. , 



• Sundays excepted 1 Sundays only. 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph & Co., S.F. 



A. N. TOWJME, 
Gen. Manager. 



T. H. GOODMAN, 

Gen. Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



13 



$1 

tv~ e e k: s , 



The POMCE GAZETTE will be 
mailed, securely wrapped, to any address in the 
United States for three months on receipt of 

ONE DOLLAR. 

Liberal discount allowed to postmasters, agents 
and clubs. Sample copies mailed free. 
Address all orders to 

RICHARD K. FOX, 

Franklin square, V Y. 



A PRIZE.; 



Send six cents for post- 
age, and receive free, a 
costly box of goods which 
► will help all,of either sex, 
to more money right away than anything else in 
this world. Fortunes await the workers abso- 
lutely sure. Terms mailed free. TRUE &, CO., 
Augusta, Maine. 



RIO flCCCP ^° m *' V0( l uee them, we 



ADIU UrrLll. will give awaylooo 
Self-Operating Washing Machines. If you want 
one send us your name, P.O. and express office 
at once. The X at tonal Co., r»;t f>ey St. 
New York, 



NOflTHchN UlViblON 

SOUTHERN PACIFIC COMPANY. 

TIME SCHEDULE. 

Passenger Trains leave an Arrive 

Passenger Depot Townsend street, bet. Third 
and Fourth streets, San Francisco. 



LKAVE 

a. f. 



Commencing Oet. is, 
1885. 



ARRIVR 
S. F. 



t 6.40 a 
8.30 a 
10.40 A, 

* 3.30 p. | 
4.30 p. 

* 5.15 P. : 
6.30 P. 



.San Mateo, Redwood ami. vin ' n ,, , 
Menlo Park... ^ 

t 5.02 p. 
6.0S p. 



. Santa Clara San Jose and . 



8.30 A. 
10.40 a. 

f n -in B j ■ i3U.ll LLl 1..1HI ;i .3UI1 O USC it LIU . I n r 

430 p ■ ■•Principal Way Stations . . ' 



10.40 A. 
* 3.30 p. 



10.40 A. 
* 3.30 P. 



10.40 A. 
* 3.30 P. 



.Gilroy,Pajaro, astroville. 
. ..Salinas and Monterey. . . 



. Hollister and Tres Pinos . . 



. . . Watsonville, Aptos, ... 
.Soquel ( amp Capi tola) , 
and Santa Cruz 



•10.02 A. 
6.08 P. 



.Soledad andWavStations. 



a. — Morn ng. p. —Afternoon. 

* Sundays excej.tei 
t Sundays only (Sportsmen's train). 



Standard Time furnished by Randolph &Co., S. ^ 



STAGE C >NNECTIONS are made with the 
10.40 a. m. train, except Pescad«-ro stages via 
San Mateo and Rsdwo' d, which connect with 
S.30 A. *. train. 



EXCURSION TICKETS. 

For Sundays ont.y— Sold Sunday Morning and 
for 130 p.m. train; good for return r-ame 
day. 

For Saturday, Sunday and m< nday -Sold Sat- 
urday an-1 Sunday only ; good for return 
until following Monday, inclusive. 



Tickkt OrFiCEa— Passenger Depot, Townsend 
street, Va'encia-street Station, and No. 673 
Market street, Grand Hotel. 
A. C. BASSETT, H R. JUDAH, 

Superintendent. Asst. Pass. & Tkt. Agt 



SOUTH PACIFIC COAST R. R. 



Passenger Trains leave Station, foot of Market 
street, South Side at 

8/JA A. M., daily, for Alvarado, Newark, 
■ OU Centervillc, Alviso, Santa Clara, SAN 
JOSE, Lob Gatos, Wrights, Glenwood, Felton, 
Big; Trees, Boulder Creek, SANTA CRUZ and 
all Way Stations. 

2 Aft P. M. (except Sunday), Express: Mt. 
■ OU Eden, Alvarado, Newark, Centerville, 
Alviso, AgnewB, Santa Clara, SAN JOSE, Lop 
Gatos, Boulder Creek and all stations to SANTA 
CRUZ. 

4ftft P. M., daily, for SAN JOSE, Los Gatos 
■ OU and intermediate points. 

4ftft A. M., every Sunday, Hunter*' Train 
• UU to San Jose, stopping at all Way 
Station b. 

(fJK EXCURSIONS TO SANTA CRUZ and 
Q)J BOULDER CREEK, and #3.50 to SAN 
JOSE, on Saturdays and Sundays, to return on 
Monday, inclusive. 

$1.75 to SANTA CLARA and SAN JOSE 
and return. Sundays only. 

AH through trains connect at Felton for Boul- 
der Creek and points on FeltOD and Pencadero 
Railroad. 



TO OtEtLlXO 4NI> 4LAMF.ni. 

§6.00, §6.30, §7.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00, 9.30, 
10.00, 10.30, 11.00, 11.30 A. M. 1|12.00, 12.30, 
Hi 00, 1.30, 12.00, .^,30, 3.00, 3.30, 4 00, 4.30, 5.00 
5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30\ 10.45, 11.45 
P.M. 

From Fourteenth and Webster streets, 
Oakland -§5.30, §6.00, §6.30, 7.00, 7.30 8.00, 
S.30, 9.00, 9.30, 10.00, 10.30, 111.00, 11.30 A. M. 
112.00, 12.30, 11.00, 1.30, 2 00, 2.30, 3.00, 3.30, 
4.00, 4.30, 5.00, 5.30, 6.00, 6.30, 7.00, 7.30, 8.30, 
9.30, 10.45, 11.45 P. M. 

From High street, Alameda— §5.16, §6.46, 
§6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 7.46. 8.16, 8.46. 9.16. 9.46, 
10.16, 110.46, 11.16, 111.46 A. M. 12 16, 112.46, 
1.16, 1.46, 2.16, 2.46, 3.16, 3.46, 4.16, 4.46, 5.16, 
5.46, 6.16, 6.46, 7.16, 9.16, 10.31, 11.31 P. M. 

§ Sundays excepted. 
1 Sundays only. 

TICKET, Telegraph and Transfer offices 223 
Montgomery street, S. F. 

L. FILLMORE, W. T. FITZGERALD, 

Superintendent. G. F. & P. Atrt 



S. F. & NORTH PACIFIC R. R. 

(Broad Gauge.) 

Commencing Sunday, January 3, 1886, 

and until further notice, boats and trains will 
leave from and arrive at San Francisco Passen- 
ger Depot, Market street wharf, as follows : 



Leave 
San Francisco. 



Destina- 
tion. 



Arrive in 
San Francisco. 



Wbbk j Sun- | petaluma, I SuN " 
Days. | days. I Santa Rosa, J!^ 
Fulton, I 
Windsor, 



Wkbk 
Days. 



7.45 AM I 



i I Healdsburg I 6 10 pm j 

i 8.00 am i Cloverdale, l 
3.30 pm i & way stns. I 



7.45 am S.00 am | Guerneville 6 10 pm | 6.05 pm 



Stages connect at Santa Rosa for Rebastopol 
and Mark West Springs; atClairville forSkaggs' 
Springs, and at Cloverdale for Highland Springs, 
Kelseyville, Soda Bay, Lakeport, Saratu^a 
Springs, Blue Lake*, Bartlett Springs, Ukiah, 
Eureka. Navarro Ridge, Mendocino city a d the 
Geysers. 

EXCURSION TICKETS from Saturdays to 
Mondays — To Petaluma, $1.7.5 ; to Santa Rosa, 
S3; to Hea'dshurg, §4; to Cloverdale, S5. 

EXCURSION TICKETS, good for Sundays 
only— To Petaluma, $1.50; to Santa Rosa, $2; 
to Healdsburg, S3 ; to Cloverdale, $4.50 ; to 
Guerneviile, $3. 

From San Francisco for Point Tiburon and 
San Kafael— Week days : 7.45 a. m., 9.16 a. m., 
3.30 p. m., 6 P. M., 6.10* p. M. Sundays: 8 
A. M , 10.15 A. M., 1 p. M , 5 p. M. 

To San Francisco from San Rafael — Week 
days: 6.30 a. m., 8 a. m., 10.30 a. m., 3.40 p. m., 
5.05 P. m. Sundays : 8.10 A. m , il 30 a m., 
3 p. m , 5 p. m. 

To San Francisco from Point Tiburon — Week 
days : 7 a. m., 8.20 a. m., 10.55 A. m., 4.05 p. m., 
5.30 p. m. Sundajs: 8.35 a. m., 1155 a.m., 
3.25 p. M., 5.30 p. M. 

' There will be no 6.10 p. m. boao from San 
Francisco on Saturdays. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETER J. McuLYNN.Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Agt. 

Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SONOMA VALLEY RAILROAD. 

Steamer J <mes v<. Donahue leaves San Fran- 
c.sco and connects with trains at Soncma Land 
ing aa follows : 

4 ft ft P. M., daily (Sundays excepted), from 
• UU Washinyton-ttreLt wharf, forth; tiwn 
of Sonoma, Glen Ellen and way points. 
SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8ftft A. M. (Sundays only), from Washing 
■ ZU t n-.treet wharf for the town of So- 
noma, Glen Ellen and way points. Round-trip 
tick, ts to Sonoma, SI ; Glen Ellen, $1.50. 

H. C. WHITING, Superintendent. 
PETErl J. McGLVNN, lien. Pass, ana Tkt. Agt. 
Ticket Offices at Ferry and 222 and 430 Mont- 
gomery street. 



SAUCELITO, SAN RAFAEL, SAN QUENTIN, 

NORTH PACIFIC^ COAST R. R. 

TIME TABLE 

Commencing Miniiuv, Not. 8, 1-85, 
and until further notice, Boats and Trains 
will runs as follows : 

For SAN RAFAEL and SAUCELITO (week 
days) -9.20, 11.20 a. m., 3.35, 5.05 p. m. 

(Sundays)— 8.00, 10.00, 11.30 a. m., 1.30, 3.15, 
5.15 p. M. 

Extra trip on Saturday at 1.30 P. M. 



From SAN RAFAEL (*tek dajs)— 7.45, 9.20, 
11.35 a. m., 3.30 p. m. 

(Sundays)— 8.05, 10.10 a. m., 12.00 M., 1.35, 
3.20, 5.15 P. M. 

From SAUCELITO (week days)— 8.15, 9.55 
A. M , 12.20, 4.05 p. M. 

(Sundays)— 8.40, 10.45 a. m., 12.35, 2.15, 4.00 
6.00 P. M. 

Extra trips— From Saucelito on Saturday at 
2.30, 6.00 p. M. 

11.20 A. 11.. Daily, Sundays excepted, 
THROUGH TRAINS for Duncan Mills and way 
sta'ions. (Through train from Duncan Mills 
arrive in San Francisco at 12.50 p. M.) 



STA*E CONNECTIONS. 
Stages leave Duncan Mills every morning, ex- 
cept Mondays, for Stewarts Point, Gualala, Point 
Arena, Cuffej's Cove, Navarro, Mendocino, and 
all points on the Worth Coast. 



PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP 



COMPANY. 



THIRTY-DAY EXCURSIONS 

Round-trip Tickets, good for thirty d*ys to 

and from all points north of San Ans- Imo, at 

twenty-five pur cent, reduction from single 

1 1 riff rate. 



SATURDAY TO MONDAY EXCURSIONS. 

Excursion tickets s 'Id on Saturday, good to 
return following Monday : Fairfax, $1.00 ; Camp 
Taylor, Si. 75 ; Point Reyes, $2.00; Tooialea, 
§3.00 ; Duncan Mills, §4. 



SUNDAY EXCURSIONS. 

8.00 A. HI. (Sundays only) (excursion Train 
for Camp Taylor, Tomales and wa}' j-tations. 
Returning, arrive in San Francisco at 6.30 p. m. 

Fares for round trip— Camp Tiylor, $1.60 ; 
Point Reyes, $1.75 ; Tomales, $2.50. 



J. W. COLEMAN, 
General Manager. 



F. B. LATHAM, 
Gen'l Pass. & Tkt. Agt. 



GENERAL OFFICES, 327 PINE STREET. 



Steamers of this Company will 
* B sail from Broadway Wharf, San 
=■ Francisco, for ports in California, 
6 Oregon, Washington and Idaho 
Territories, British Columbia and Alaska, aB fol- 
lows : 

lialifornla Southern Coast Route. 

Steamers will sail about every Becond day a. h. 
for the following ports (excepting San Diego, 
every fifth day), viz: Santa Cruz, Monterey, 
San Simeon, Cayucos, Port Harford, San Luis 
Obispo, Gaviota, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Hue 
neme, San Pedro, Los Angeles and San Diego. 

ftritlsh Columbia and Alaska Route- 
Steamship IDAHO, carrying U. S. Mails, sails 
from Portland, Oregon, on or about the 1st of 
.each month, for Port Townsend, W. T., Victoria, 
and Nanaimo, B. (.'., Fort Wrangel, Sitka and 
Harrisburg, Alaska, connecting at Port Town 
send with Victoria and Puget Sound. Steamer 
leaving San Francisco on or about the first 
the same month. 

Victoria and Puget Sound Route.— 

The Steamers GEO. W. ELDER and QUEEN OF 
THE PACIFIC carrying Her Britanic Majesty's 
and United States mails, sail from Broadway 
Wharf, <an Francisco, at 10 A. m., on February 
6th, 14th, 22d, March 2d, 10th, 18th, 26th, April 
3d, 11th and every eighth day thereafter for 
Victoria, B.C., Port Townsend, -eattle, Tacoma, 
Steilacoom and Olympia, making close connec- 
tion with steamboats, etc., for Skagit River and 
Cassiar tfines,Nanaimo, New Westminster, Yale, 
Sitka and all other impor ant points. Return- 
ing, leave Seattle and Port Townsend on Feb. 
7th, 14th, 22d, March 2d, and ■sverv eighth day 
thereafter, and Victoria on Feb. 8th, 15th, 23d, 
March 3d, and every eighth day thereafter. 

Portland, Oregon, Route.— The Oregon 
Railway and Navigation Company and the Pa- 
cific Coast Steamship Company dispatch from 
Spear Street Wharf one of the steamships 
OREGON, COLUMBIA, STATE OF CALI- 
FORNIA and GEO. W. ELDER, carrying the 
United States Mail. Mulling days— Feb. 2d, 
7th. 12th, 17th, 22d, 27th, March 4th, and every 
following fifth lay for Portland and ABtorla, 
Oregon. 

Eureka and Humboldt Ray Route.— 

Ste truer ANCON sails from Sun raocisco for 
Eureka, Areata, Hookton (Hum oil Bay) every 
Wednesday at 9 A. M. 

Point Arena and Nendoeino Route.— 

Steamer YAQUINA Bails from Broadway 
Wharf, San Francisco, at 3 p. m. overy Mo.nday 
for Point Arenas, Cuffey's Cove, Little River 
and Mendocino. 

TICKET OFFICE, 314 Montgomery St. 

(Opposite the Rubs House) 

G00DALL, PERKINS & CO,, General Agents 
No. 10 Market St. San Francisco. 



CARD. 

THE WESTERN 

Fire and Marine 

INSURANCE CO. 

OF CALIFORNIA. 

TO THE INSURING PUBLIC. 

\otwiiiiMniHiiny; the various 
reports to the contrary, the 
Western Fire anil Marine Insur- 
ance Company has no intention 
of -withdrawing from business, 
hut invites the generous patron- 
age of the public, as heretofore 
extended to them. 

P. J. WHITE, 

President. 
4. l'-O. II. WHEATON, 

Vice-President. 

«EO. W. SESSION, 

Secretary. 

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE: 
«eo. H. Wheaton, John Fay, 

Jos. Macdonough, M. Kane, 

A. Tensano. 



THE WASP. 



13 



AJIISF.JI£\TS 



<.t-;iinl Operii House. 



POPULAR PRICES, 25c , 50c, 75c. 

FOR ONE WEEK ONLY, 

COflMENCING MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1r.n1, 

Every Evening and Saturday Matinee, 

K 1 It A I, I ' V RKfl S. 

AROUND I WORLD IN 80 DAYS 

With nil it* original grandeur and splendor, 
as produced by them at the 

CALIFORNIA THEATER. 

For the first time in this city, 

BALLET OF BRIC-A-BRAC. 

Re-appearance of 

EL MA HI) I, the Indian elephant. 



I'nj'ULAR PRICES: 

Orchestra and Orchestra Circlc-t 75c. 

Dress Circle (reserved) 75c. 

Family Circle 50c. 

Gallery 25c. 

Boxes, $4, $6 and S3, according to location. 

Box Office open Monday, Feb. I5th, at a. m. 

■tush-si reel Tlicsifer. 

M. B. Leavitt Lessee and Proprietor 

CiiAS. P. Hall Manager 

MATINEE THIS AFTERNOON. 

Second and Last Week of 

Ciprico's Successful Americas Drasia, 

AFTER TWENTY YEARS. 

Indorsed by both Press and Public. 

THIS EVENING, 

First Benefit in San Francisco of the Sterling 

Actor, 

MR. FRED, m: K! 1,1,1 » 1 1 I I 

itST Popular Prices.lEJl 

Monday Evening, Feb. 15th, for One Week Only! 

Bodcicaplt's Masterpiece, THE JILT! 

With a Phenomenal Cast. 



I i * oli Opera. House. 

Eddy street, near Market. 
K relink Bros. . .Sole Proprietors and Managers. 

THIRD WEEK! THIRD WEEK! 

AND CONTINUED SUCCESS, 

\ THE WIDOW O'BRIEN ; 

AND TALK Of THE TOWN. 

NEW SPECIALTIES THIS WEEK. 
Still our Popular Prices 25 and 50 cents. 



The Fountain Theater. 

Corner Sutter and Kearny streets. 
Geo. Scbmitt Sole Proprietor and Manager 

Every Evening During the Week. 

Tremendous Hit ! Pronounced Success ! 

op MR. 

GEO. TITRXER, 

The Prince of Comiques. 

Also, the Musical King, 

S. d. BEASL.EY. 

Together with the Fountain Stock Company. 



PANORAMA. 

THE 

BATTLE OF WATERLOO. 

Cor. Eddy and Mason Sts. 
Open daily from 9 a. m. to 11 p. m. 




Magnolia Balm 

is a secret aid to beauty. 
Many a lady owes her fresh- 
ness to it ; who would rather 
not tell, axi&you cant tell. 



i>i\ Liebig's 
~*voM>r.iti n. 

GERMAN 
INVIOOKATOR, 

The Greatest Remedy 
for the cure of Nervous 
and Physical Debility, 
Vital Exhaustion, 
Weakness, Loss of Vi- 
tality, and all the results of indiscretions, etc. The 
German Treatment prevents permanently all un- 
natural losses from the system. 

The Doctor, a regular college physician from 
Europe, will agree to forfeit $1,000 for a case un- 
dertaken not cured. The reason thousands can- 
not get cured of Weakness, Lost Vitality, and 
the above diseases, is owing to a complication 
called PROSTATi'KIUlEA, with Hyperesthesia, 
which requires special treatment. 

DR. LIEBIG'S INVIGORATOR No. 2 is the 
only POSITIVE CURE for PROSTATORRHEA. 
Price of either Invigorator, §2 ; case of sL\ bot- 
tles, $10. 

DR. LIEBIG & CO., for the past seventeen 
years have made an exclusive specialty of Dis- 
eases of Men. Disease, however induced, speed- 
ily, thoroughly and permanently cured ; recent 
cases in a few days; inveterate cases skillfully 
treated, charges moderate. 

If pimples appear on the face, if you become 
listless and despondent, look out for* the compli- 
cations with Vital Weakness and Loss of Vitality 
known as Prostatorrhea. Hundreds of lives 
have been lost for the want of proper treatment 
for this complication, and thousands have lost 
all their property and pleasure in life from its 
effects. A perfect and permanent cure will be 
guaranteed in any case undertaken, under our 
special advice and treatment. 

Call or address I>r. Iviebig; & Co., 4O0 
Geary Street, San Francisco. Private en- 
trance, 405 Mason street, four blocks up 
Geary street from Kearny. 
Most Powerful Electric Belts free to patients. 
£3TTo prove the wonderful power of the IN- 
VIGORATORS, a $2 bottle given free. 

Consultation, advice and examination free and 
private. 



NOTICE TO CREDITORS. 

TESTATE OF CHRISTINA M. HEDLUND, 
J- J deceased.— Notice is hereby given by the 
undersigned, Executrix of the Last Will and 
Testament of Christina M. Hedlund, deceased, 
to the creditors of, and all persons having claims 
against the said deceased, to exhibit them with 
the necessary vouchers, within ten months after 
the first publication of this notice, to the said 
Executrix, at the office of Charles F. Hanlon, at 
Phclan's Building, 806 Market street, rooms 16 
and 44, the same being her place for the trans- 
action of the business of the said Estate in the 
City and County of San Francisco, State of Cali- 
fornia. MRS. M. NELSON, 

Executrix of the Last Will and Testament of 
Christina M. Hedlund, deceased. 

Dated at San Francisco, January IS, 1886. 

Charles F. Hanlon, Attorney for Executrix. 



NAPA SODA SPRINGS. 

THE GEM OF NAPA VALLEY. 
!C00 FEET HIGH 
PRINCE OF PLEASURE RESORTS 
HOT SODA WATER BATHS. 
SWIMMING POOL IN NATURA^ 
ROCKY BED. 

Hotel Always Open. 

J O H IV E . DOYLE 

(Late of Lick House Bar) and 

EDWARD EA.Y 

(Late of Palace Hotel Bar) 

HAVING PURCHASED THE 

<.i:iM) HOTEL BAR 

Of Sheriff Hopkins, will be pleased to have the 
patronage of all their friends in their new vent- 
ure. Drinks at Popular Prices. 
Hot Lunch from 11 to 2:30 P. M., 



fijEjfcUeu 

IrpRmTEDISPENSARY 

Bff] j Kearny St. 8an J*ranctseo t Cat 

Incorporated under the laws of California for tlie 
Speed I ' '■ ' ■ Nervous. 

;ond Chro ile Dfc - 
THE EXPERT SPECIALIST. 

DR. ALLEN Is a R IwCi lua* I P ■■ »i.m. cdu- 
• i unl 
,-,-.,ri, ] |. ii u devi iicd "i titf 

i iost txftH iur^uuu in Lis specialty on the 
Pacific Co-iit. 

JTE.V OF AT.Z .tars 

V'liosulT.rrfi ...rcxecscs 

In maturer years, Nervous ana Physli I Debility, 1 ol 
n .1 Memory, Santa .1 Vi c iknci ■, Pro i Ltorrba i. 
Stomach, Liver, Kidney and BlruUler Dieses, etc Rc- 
meraberthatbyacombfnationofl / '<f*«We*Mwrfi , Di 
Allen Ins soar Milled his [rr.lt men t lh.it II '' • ■ ■■ ! ■■''■■[ 
only almost iinnurilW relief. I"'t I'l'.KUANi NT CUKIi. 
HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE. 
Dr. Allen iras For many years Surgeon In three Eastern 
M .. . . which ■.■■■■ criei e b is bi ■ a c ic ol 111 si 
plug-stones to his gn iit su cess. He wishes it distini tly 
. Iiii.,t Liu UuL-s ii 't claim to do impos-'itiiliMc'i. 
II: ■ I urns only. tobenj*i///>//;mdj(/r t -cr.r/«^l'iiyMCiaii 
.Mul burgeon, iffll inf'Tiii. 'I in Ins sp L -ci.ilty 

DISEASES Of' MEN. 

My honest opinion given In all cases— no experimenting 1 . 
ONLY CURA1ILB CASES TREATED. I will gtisrnnti ■: " 
post (vtcurc in every c.ise I undertake. Consul 
oflice or by K-ttcr FRBH and confidential. Clini es 
moderate. Office Hours 9 to 3 dally, 6 to 8 evenings, 
Sund y 1 1" taonly. Callor address 

DR. ALLEN. a6J< Kearny St.. San Francisco. Cal 

SST Mention this Paper. 




Dr. MINTIE, 

THE SPECIALIST, 

11 KEARNY STREET. 
Still treats, with the same wonderful success as of 

Old, all CHRONIC, PRIVATE, NEKVOL'S, and WASTING 
diseases, such as NERVOUS DEBILITY, LOSS OH VITAL- 
ITY. PROSTATITIS. KIDNEY, BLADDIiK and LIVER 
DISEASES. UNNATURAL DRAINS, either day or night, 
IMPAIRED VITALITY, etc 

DR. MlNTIEisa REGULAR PHYSICIAN GRADUATE 
OF THEOLDESTCOLLEGEIN AMERICA, the University 
of Pennsylvania, and is well known over the entire Pacilic 
coast from his long and successful career in the practice 
of his specialty in this city, making' cures in many so-called 
incurable cases. The Doctor was for a terra of years 

HOUSE PHYSICIAN, 
Or Resident Surgeon, in the Orthopedic Hospital at 
Philadelphia, and he would say to YOUNG MEN who are 
suffering from the effects of YOUTHFUL follies and 

MIDDLE-AGED MEN who arc PREMATURELY OLD con- 
sult one who has made your disease a life study. 
Only Curable Cases Taken. 

The Doctor will agree to forfeit $1,000 for a case of this 
kind he takes and falls to cure. 

DR. Mintie b sole proprietor of the now famous 
English remedy, the SIR ASTLEV COOPER VITAL RES- 
TORATIVE, which he furnishes free to patients. 

Consultation free. Thorough examination and 
advice including chemical analysis and microscopic ex- 
amination of the urine, $5. An honest opinion given in 
every case. 

Office Hours — 9 to 3 daily; evenings, 6 to 8; Sunday 
n to 1 only. Call or address, 

A. E. MINTIE, M. D., 11 Kearny St. 

San Francisco, CaL 



TO THE UNFORTUNATE! 

Dr. GIBBON'S DISPENSARY 

CX i "> "_> KEAR- 
O-O- » NY ST. 

San Francisco — Es- 
tablished in 1S54 for 
the treatment and 
cure of Special Dis- 
eases, nervous and 
physical Debility, or 
diseases wearing on 
body and mind, and 
Lost Manhood, per- 
manently cured: the 
sick and afflicted 
jshould not fail to call 
^§ii] 11 tn him. The Doc- 
^stor has traveled ex- 
tensively in Europe, and inspected thoroughly 
the hospitals there, obtaining a great deal of 
valuable information, which he is competent to 
impart to those in need of his services. The 
Doctor cures when others fail. Try him. DR. 
GIBBON will make no charge unless he effects a 
cure. Persons at a distance may be CURED AT 
HOME. All communications strictly confiden- 
tial. Charges reasonable. Call or write. Ad- 
dress DR. J. F. GIBBON, Box 1957, San Fran- 
cisco. Mention the WASP. 



"NEVER KNOWN TO FAIL." 

TAKKANTS EXTRACT 
CUBEBS AND COPAIBA 

Is an old, tried remedy 
tor gonorrhosa, deet) 

■ ""I II diseases of the 
urinary organs. its 
neat, portable form, 
freedom from taste and 
speedy action (it fro- 
'pmnth cures In three 

or ( ■ daye and always 

in less time than any 
other preparation), 
make "Tarrant's Ex- 
tract" the most desira- 
ble remedy ever manu- 
factured. 
To prevent fraud see 
that each package hasa HBO STRIP across the face 
of label, with the signature of TARRANT & CO., 
N. Y., upon it. 

PRICE #1. 
Sold by all I>ru£gists. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. Finest and cheapest Meat Fla- 
voring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and 
Sauces. Annual sale, 8,(KHi,ono jars. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. An invaluable tonic. "Is a 
success and a boon for which nations 
should feel grateful." — Sec "Medical 
Press," "Lancet," etc. 

Genuine only with the fac-simile of Baron 
Liebig's Signature in Blue Ink across the 
Label. The title "Baron Liebig" and pho- 
•tograph having been largely used by deal- 
ers with no connection with Baron Liebig, 
the public are informed that the Liebig 
Company alone can offer the article with 
Baron Liebig's Guarantee of genuineness. 

LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRACT 

OF MEAT. To be had of all Storekeepers, 
Grocers and Chemists. Sole agents for the 
United States (wholesale only) C. David & 
Co., Feochurch Avenue, London, Eng. 

Mold Wholesale by RICHARDS A. 

IIYICICIS<>\. and LA\1>LRY & 

1 u;i> 

PENNYROYAL PILLS. 

"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." 

The Original and Only Genuine. 
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthless 
Imitations. Indispensible to Ladies. Ask 
your l>rugj£ist for "Chichester's Eng- 

liKli" and take no other, or inclose 4 cents 
(stamps) to us for particulars IN lktter by return 

mail. SAME PAPER. Chichester 
Chemical Co., £313 Madison Sq're, 
Philadelphia, Pa. 

TRADE supplied by GEO. C. GOODWIN 
& CO., Wholesale Agents, Boston, Mass. 





TRIAL 
BOTTLE 



WORK FOR A.UL. S3© a week and ex- 
it Ulllx penses paid. Outfit worth $5 and par- 
ticulars free. P. O. VICKERY, Augusta, Maine. 




JGUFFICEXT TO 
: O show the merits of 
: OR.SAT..FIEMVS 

; REJI VIIXATOR 

; THE CHEAT 

: STRENGTHENING 
; REMEDY and NERVE 
prjpP" : TONIC, will he sent to 

pK Pf ; any one afflicted with 

' ■!■■"■ : Nervous Debility, Loss 

jl {J of Vitality, Involuntary 

Drains, Organic Weakness, Loss of Manhood, 
etc., the results of youthful follies and excesses, 
for which it is a never-failing cure. As also 
Kidney and Bladder Complaints, Impurities of 
the Blood and Diseases of the Skin, Pimples, 
Eruptions, etc. Communications strictly confi- 
dential. Consultation by letter or at office free. 
Call or address 

»R. C. J>. SAIiFIEIiW. 
21« Kearny St.,San Prancisco,Cal. 

P* I I p ^J Instant relief. Final cure in 
r I LtaOa 10 days, and never returns. 
No purge, no salve, no suppository. Sufferers 
will learn of a simple remedy. Free, by address- 
ing C. J. MASON, 78Nassau.st.,N. Y. 



LEADING OPTICIAN 



" 131 
MONTG'Yi 




THE MOST COMPLICATED CASES OF 

DEFECTIVE VISION 

Thoroughly diagnosed, free of charge, and 
kinds of Lenses made to order. 

SPECTACLES, 

Their adaptation to the various conditions of 
sight have been my specialty for 3fi Years. 

Compound Astigmatic Lenses 

Mounted to Order at Two Hours' Notice. 

C MTJLLER, 

OPTICIAN, 

135 Montgomery St., near Bush. 

Orders by Mail or Express promptly 
attended to. 



14 



THE WASP. 



A DIRECTORY OF THE BEST 
HOTELS AND WATERING PLACES 
ON THE PACIFIC COAST. 

GUA CALIENTE SPRINGS HOTEL, SONOMA 
Co., Cal. Beautiful surroundings ; luxurious rooms; 
private cottages ; warm and cold springs. S. F. & 
N. P. Ry. stops at Cady's M. K. CADY , Proprietor. 

MERICAN HOTEL, HAYWARDS, CAL. THE 
best family hotel. ^1 per day, S5 and S6 per week. 
Agency for buying and selling real estate, farms, 
houses and lots. J. D. AUSTIN, Proprietor. 

UZERAIS HOUSE, SAN JOSE, CAL. FIBST- 
class ; European x^lan. Rooms 30c. to $2 per night, 
$5 to $35 per month. Finest Sample Rooms in the 
city. D. M. SMITH, Proprietor. 

YRON SPRINGS, 2i MILES FROM BYRON 
Station, on C. P. R. R. Climate perfection. Hot 
sulphur mud baths. Try them. 



B 



CENTRAL HOUSE, 818, 820 & 822 K STREET, 
Sacramento, Cal. Meals 25c. Street cars from depot 
pass the door every 5 minutes. 

HOENLEIN BROS., Proprietors. 



c 



ONGRESS SPRINGS (SANTA CLARA COCJN- 
ty). Take 8:30 A. m. and 2:30 p. M. S. P. (J. R. R. to 
Los Gatos. W. H. STEDMAN, Proprietor. 



E 



L PASO DE ROBLES HOT & COLD SULPHUR 
Springs. Rheumatism, Scrofula and Skin diseases 
positively cured, as hundreds can testify. 



E 



SMOND HOTEL, COR. FRONT & MORRISON 
Sts., Portland, Oregon. The leading hotel. 
THOMAS GUINKAN, Proprietor. 



E 



STUDILLO HOUSE, SAN LEANDRO, CAL. 
First-class. Every attention paid to transient guests; 
meals at all hours ; private rooms ; fresh oysters, etc. 
P. GODCHAUX, Proprietor. 



F 



ARMERS' HOTEL, PLEASANTON, CAL, 
Board and lodging $1 per day, 1$5 and -Sb' per week ; 
meals 25c. Best of wines, liquors and cigars on hand. 
BREUSS BROS., Proprietors. 



&ERMANIA HOTEL, LIVERMORE, CAL. 
Meals 25c. ; lodgings 25c. ; board and lodging S5 per 
week. Good accommodations. Choice liquors and 
cigars. JACOB JOHNSON, Proprietor. 



& 



ILROY HOT MINERAL SPRINGS. OPEN ALL 
the year. Cures Rheumatism and kindred com- 
plaints. Send for circular. 



G 



LEN ELLEN HOTEL, GLEN ELLEN, CAL. 
Health and pleasure. Livery stable ; pic-nic grounds. 
Board $\> meals 35c. 

J. W. GIBSON (P. M. & merchant), Prop. 



G' 



OLDEN EAGLE HOTEL, 7th & J STREETS, 
Sacramento, Cal. Eirst-class. 'Bus at every train. 
W. 0. (JOE) BOWERS, Proprietor. 



G 



RAND CENTRAL HOTEL, STOCKTON, CAL. 
Rates S1.25 to $2.00; special rates to permanent 
boarders. Free 'bus to and from hotel. . 
JOHN HENDERSON, Proprietor. 



HAYWARDS HOTEL, HAYWARDS, CAL. 
Pleasant and agreeable, with home comforts. Round- 
trip tickets from S. F., Friday A. m. to Tuesday 
p. M./only 75c. F. A. WILDER, Proprietor. 



H 



IGHLAND SPRINGS (25 SPRINGS), LAKE CO., 
Cal. Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Malaria, and 
Kidney, Bladder, Liver and Dyspeptic diseases. 
C. M. BATES, Proprietor. 



I 



NTERNATIONAL HOTEL, EUREKA, NEVADA. 
Three-story brick, fireproof. Suits of Rooms for 
Families and Commercial Travelers. 



INTERNATIONAL HOTEL, 320 TO 326 K ST., 
Sacramento, Cal. The Leading Business and Family 
Hotel. Board and room SI and ft]. 25 per day. Free "bus 
to and from hotel. W. A. CASWELL, Proprietor. 



IRON-SULPHUR SPRINGS, 13 MILES FROM 
Los Angeles, within 2 miles of Railroad. Best of Iron, 
Sulphur and Magnesia drinking waters. Hot Sulphur 
Baths. Fulton Wells P. O. 



K 



ENT'S NEWLAND HOUSE, CORNER 7th AND 
Washington streets, Oakland, Cal. Choice Rooms, 
by the Day, Week or Month. 



ILLARD HOUSE, DAVISVILLE, YOLO CO., 
- Cal. New and well furnished. Terms reasonable. 
' 20 minutes for lunch or dinner while changing cars. 
J. T. LILLARD, Proprietor. 



IVERMORE HOTEL, LIVERMORE, CAL. 
- First-class accommodations. Free coach to and from 
J trains. G. S. LANGAN, Proprietor. 



M 



AGNOLIA HOTEL, CALISTOGA, CALIFOR- 
nia. Terms reasonable. Solid comfort at this 
house. J. A. CHESEBORO, Proprietor. 



M 



'ERVYN HOTEL, GLEN ELLEN, CAL., WILL 
be opened April 1st. 
J. T. PETERS, Proprietor. 



N 



APA SODA SPRINGS. OPEN ALL THE 
year round. Hot and Cold Napa Soda Baths. 
Billiards, Bar and Ten Pins. 
JACKSON & WOOSTER, Proprietors. 







AKES' HOTEL, HAYWARDS, CAL. THE 
popular resort of the Pacific Coast. Finest hotel ac- 
commodations to be found anywhere. 

TONY OAKES, Proprietor, 



JACIFIC HOTEL, 5th & K STS., SACRAMENTO, 
Cal. Best Family Hotel in the city; centrally located; 
sti'eet-cars pass door every 5 minutes. Meals 25c. 
MRS. C. F. SINGLETON, Proprietress. 



P 



ALACE HOTEL, UKIAH, CAL. SPLENDID 
New Brick Building. General Stage House. 
W. A. HAGANS, Proprietor. 



kARAISO SPRINGS. CAPTAIN FOSTER, FOR- 
merly of the " Cliff House," proprietor. Will be re- 
fitted and refurnished for this season's business. 



JLEASANTON HOTEL, PLEASANTON, CAL. 
1 lan. McCaw, prop. , invites his friends and the travel- 
ing public to give him a- call. Terms reasonable. 



RHOADS & TOWNSEND HOUSE, COR. 2d & J 
streets, Sacramento, Cal. Sample Rooms for Com- 
mercial men. Choice wines and liquors. Pleasant 
rooms in suite or single. 



R 



OSE HOTEL, PLEASANTON, CAL. WINTER 
and summer resort for pleasure and health. 
COL. C. J. PULLEN, Proprietor. 



s 



AN LEANDRO HOTEL, SAN LEANDRO, CAL. 
SI to SI. 50 per day, S5 to $7 per week. Good ac- 
commodations. Fine wines, liquors and cigars. 

N. HENRIKSEN, Proprietor. 



s 



HANNON HOUSE, LATHROP, CAL. (WEST 
side of track.) No Chinese. Trains stop 20 minutes 
for meals, 25c. Don't make a mistake. 
R. T. SHANNON, Proprietor. 



STATE HOUSE, COR. K & 10th STS., SACRA- 
mento, Cal. Board S4 per week. Single rooms 50c, 
family rooms SI to S2.50, board with lodging $6 to $12 
per week. Free tms to and from hotel. 

CHAS. H. JENKINS, Proprietor. 



s 



T. JAMES HOTEL, SAN JOSE, CAL. FIRST- 
class iu every respect. American plan : 92 to $2.50 per 
day. Coach at depot. TYLER BEACH, Prop. 

1HIELSEN HOUSE, COLFAX, W. T. NEWLY 
built ; 3-story brick. First-class. S1.S0, 82.00 and 
■ S2.50 per day. W. H. MASTIN, Proprietor. 



1EUCKEE HOTEL, TRUCKEE, CAL. C. P. R. 
R. Passenger Depot and General Stage office. Good 
meals, reasonable prices and prompt attention. 

STEWART McKAY, Proprietor. 



W 



ASHINGTON HOTEL, LIVERMORE, CAL. 
First-class ; terms reasonable ; good rooms ; good 
table. Sample rooms for commercial men. 
J. BARDELLINI, Manager. 



ro SEMITE HOUSE, STOCKTON, CAL. FIRST 
Class. Rates -?2 and S3 per day. General ticket 
office for Big Trees, Yosemite Valley, etc. 

WM. WRENCH, Proprietor. 



THE EBBITT: 

WASHINGTON, D. C. 
AUMT AND NAVY HEADQUARTERS, 

Four Iron Fire Escapes. 
TKHMS-$3.00 and $4.00 Per Day. 



LADIES' 

CELEBRATED FRENCH SPECIFICS. 

INDISPENSABLE TO LADIES. 
FREXCH CREAM OF BEAUTV possesses remark- 
able medicinal properties, which quickly remove Sunburn, Tan, 
Freckles, Blotches, and other blemishes of the skin. The most 
ordinary person rendered Strikingly Beautiful. 50 cents. 



FRENCH KEGUIiATIKG PIIXS. The renowned 
French remedy ; the most reliable regulator, wortb their weight 
in gold, (no Peniryroyal or dangerous drugs.) Price S1.00 per box. 



FRENCH PROPHYLACTIC. Recognized by all 
physicians as the most effectual remedy for female complaints. 
When used with our improved French Syringe a cure is absolutely 
certain. 81.00. 



ELECTRO DEPILATORY permanently removes su- 
perfluous Hair, root and branch. No dislocation or injury. s?1.00. 



HALE\E Develops the Bust. Change in ten days. Harmless 
and certain. S1.00. 

QITEEBJ PURE RUBBER SPECIALTY. Indis- 
pensable to Ladies. Always reliable. Indorsed by prominent 
physicians. Price §1.00. 

Our specialties are for sale by druggists, or will be sent securely 
sealed, with full directions, on receipt of price, (sealed particulars, 
2 stamps.) Ladies can address us in sacred confidence. Mention 
this paper. 

THE FRENCH SPECIFIC COMPANY. 
St. Al ban's place, Philadelphia, Pa. 



Manhood Restored 

Remedy Fiiee.— a victim of youthful imprudence 
causing Premature Decay, Nervous Debility, Lost 
Manhood, &a. , having tried in vain every Known 
remedy, has d iscovered a simple means of self-cure, 
which he will sr-nd FREE to his fallow-sufferers. 
Address, J.H.REEVES. 43 Chatham St.,New York. 

WE A K M F N BSSESSf £ 

_ ■^^^^™ — III u I « rors. early d^cay, lost 
jnanhood, etc. I will send yon ;l valuable treatise upon 
the above diseases, also diivri inns inrsolf-cure. free of 
charge. Address Prof . F. O. FOWLER.Moodus.Conu- 



PARASOLS. 

OPENING OF SPRING NOVELTIES. 

We have just opened the first delivery of 
\OVELTIES in PARASOLS for SPRING and 
SUMMER 1880. 

The eollection is the most elaborate ever 
shown in this city and includes 

PARASOLS 

In every style of Silk, Satin, Pongee, Rroeade, 
Armure, etc- 

PARASOLS 

In all the New Shapes. 

PARASOLS 

Entirely Xew Styles in Handles. 
OUR ENTIRE STOCK OF 

IP^JEl-^. SOLS 

Marked at 
EXCEPTIONALLY LOW PRICES. 

Country orders, whether large or small, receive prompt and 
careful attention. Goods sent to all parts C. O. D., or on receipt 
of Postoffice Order, thereby giving ladies in the country equal 
advantages with residents in this city. 

83T Packages delivered, carriage paid, in Oakland, Alameda and 
Berkeley. 



$tfjp?&M4y& p 




III, 113, 115, 117, 119, 121 POST STREET, 

AND 

10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20 MORTON STREET. 

$1,000 REWARD 




ForoneofDr. HORNE'S Electric Belts that can notb* 
recharged and the Electricity felt Instantly by the piT 
tientany time without cost. Can be applied to all parta 
of the body. Whole family can wear ft. It Electrlflei 
•he blood and cures when ail else fail?. Monev refunded 
If not found as above. BEWARE OF WORTHLESS bo- 
ealled Electric, Galvanic or Magnetic Belts, Shields and 
Appliances that are being folsWd on the public, as the* 

fossess no power and cannot be charged by the patient. 
T CURES WITHOUT MEDICINE Pains in the Back, 
Head, Hips or Limbs, Nervous Debility . Lumbago, Gen- 
eral Debility, Rheumatism, Paralysis, Neuralgia, Sciat- 
ica, Diseases of Kidneys, Spinal Diseases, Torpid Liver, 
Gout, Asthma, Heart Disease, Dyspepsia, Constipation, 
Erysipelas, Indigestion, Impotency, Catarrh, Pile!, 
Epilepsy. Ague, Diabetes, etc Agent* Wmnttd, Send 
(tamp for Pamphlet. 
Vr. W. J. H0KNE, 

702 Market Htrcct. San Francisco. Cal. 




roiiSTATED MEN. 

Ynu are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use 
Of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt with Electric Sus- 
pensory Appliances, for the speedv relief and per- 
manent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and 
Manhood, and all kindred troub'es. Also for many 
other diseases. Complete restorat ra to Health, Vigor, 
andManhnodguanmieed. No rip .ismcurred. Illus- 
trated pamphlet in sealed envelope n ■ l.eu iree, by ad- 
dressing VOLT A IC BELT CO., Itt •8»ialT Mich. 




RUPTURE 



^Positively cured In 60 days bj 

l/l»r. JIorne'H Electro-Mueiief tt 

' licit-True*, combined. Guaran 

teed the only one in the world 

~ generating a ecn tin nous Electric & Mag 

:ic Current. Scientiiic, Powerful, Durable 

Comfortable and Eifective in curing Rup 
rnre. Price Ryduc-fil. fiMUennHlin w:i Send for paniphle 
liXECTRO-INAOTS'KTIC TIU'SS COJ\lPAJ*y 

70S MAWJJiT STKliliT, SAU FttAMCISCQ. 



THE WASP. 



15 



dealers irv merit w. 
ALASKA COMMERCIAL COMPANY 

:tlo Nnnxome Mlreet, Ssin Francisco* 
M II OLESA1E. 

PERRIN'S QUAKER DAIRY. 

A FInt-clus Restaurant for ladies and Gentlemen, HI Sutter Btreeti between Koarrn and tfont- 
goiiK-rv. Sim Prandsco. E. R. I'Kkkin, Proprietor, 

BUSINESS Tli<- Mohi Popular school ou 
COLLECE, , " e V""*'- 

24 Post St- S. F. ForClrcutare, Wdrees 

■:. ■>. iii:ai.i>.v c6. 



HEMS 



Send for Circular. 



BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE, 



iMl'ORTKlui USD DBALSI 



Hook, News, Writing and Wrapping Papers, 

CARD NTOl'K, STRAW AXI» BINDERS' BOARD, KTC. 

Manufacturer* ol Patent Machine-made Paper Bags. 
sis to sio Sacramento St.. . . s,\.\ lil.l.xisco. 

City Canvassers for this Paper. Cood Terms Offered. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF SACRAMENTO. 



L. K. HAMMER 

B20 J Street - - - Sacramento 

Pianos, Organs, Sheet Music and Musical Mdse. 

AT SAN FRANCISCO PRICES. 



GUS LAVENSON 

FINE BOOTS AND SHOES 



. E. Cor. Fifth and J Sts. 
Sacramento 



GREGORY, BARNES & CO. 

Established, 1652. Wholesale Dealers In 

Produce and Fruit Commission Merchants 

125 and 128 J Street. Sacramento, Cat 



BURNS, HANCOCK & CO. 

IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN 

Crockery, China, Glassware, Silverware, 
Baby Carriages Etc. 

529 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL. 




L. L. LEWIS & CO. 

STOVES AND RANGES 

IMPORTERS OF CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE 

502 and 504 J Street. Sacramento. 



SAMUEL JELLY 

watchmaker and jeweler 

422 J STREET, SACRAMENTO. CAL. 

Special care given to Country Orders 



W. F. PETERSON 
manufacturing confectioner 

Importer and Jobber in all kinds of Foreign and Domestic Nuts 

Fancy Boies, etc. 

618 and 6C0 J St. Sacramento, Cax. 



THE FINEST BEER IN THE STATE. 

COLUMBUS BKEWERY 

CHRIST. WAHL, Proprietor 

Cor. 16th and K Sts. Sacramento, Cal. 

Orders promptly attended to. 



MRS. E. M. WIEDMANN 

Wholesale Manufacturer & Importer of Candies 

418 J STREET, SACRAMENTO, CAL, 
Branch House, 419 K St., Metropolitan Theater Building- 
Sole Proprietor und Manufacturer of the celebrated 
California Sugar of Lemon 



San Francisco 



Sacramento 



SULLIVAN & RAVEKES 

Manufacturers and Importers of Paints, Oils and Glass. 
Proprietors of Pacific Color Works. Acme Rubber Paint a 
specialty. 915, 917 and 919 Second St., Sacrameuto, Cal. 



A. H. POWERS & CO. 

WHOLESALE LIQUOR MERCHANTS 

Sole Agents for Dr. Mott's Wild Cherry Tonic 

Bartlett Springs Natural Mineral Water fresh from the 

Springs, by the gallon or in case 

505 K STREET SACRAMENTO. CAL. 



A. A. VAN VOORHIES & CO. 

Manufacturers and Importers of 

Saddles, Harness, Saddlery Hardware, Collars 

Whips, Horse Clothing, Robes, Leather and Shoe Findings, 
Carriage Trimmings, etc. 322 and 324 J St., Sacramento. 



THE LEADING BUSINESS FIRMS OF STOCKTON. 



AUSTIN BROS. 

IMPORTERS UF 

HARDWARE, IRON AND STEEL, 

310 AND 312 MAIN STREET, STOCKTON, CAL 



FIRST NATIONAL BANK 



OF STOCKTON, CAL, 



Capital Surplus, 



$300,000.00 



H. H. Hewlett, President P. B. Fraser, Cashier 
General Banking Business 



CORBIN HARROWS 

Sole Agents 

THE GRANGERS' UNION 

Importers of 

HARDWARE AND MACHINERY 

280 k 282 Main Street Stockton 



it. is. h. 
HORSE MEDICINE 

H. H, MOORE &, SONS. Proprietors 

Stockton, Cal. 



SOUTHWORTH & GRATTAN 

LEADING GROCERS, STOCKTON 

Agents for AVON THEATRE 



SEATING CAl'ACITY 1200 



H. T. DORRANCE 

A Full and Complete Assortment of 

HARNESS AND SADDLERY GOODS 

185 Hunter Street Stockton, Cal. 



BURNHAM'S ABIETENE 

Cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Headache, Sprains, Bruises. 
Sore Throat, Colds, Kidney troubles, etc. A Specific for 

Croup. Try It ! Try It ! For sale by all Wholesale 
Druggists and Dealers generally. 

Price 50c, and SI per bottle. Address 

W. M. HICKMAN. DRUGGIST. STOCKTON 



ABBOTT & STOWELL 

Manufacturers of 

RELIEF WINDMILLS 

And Wooden Tanks of all Sizes 

Also Superior Deep-Well Pumps 
T'.lacksmithlng and Own ml Jobbing, Orders from the Country 
promptly attended. N.E. Cor. California & Market St. Stockton 



J. H. O'BRIEN 


Wholesale Dealer in 


FINE WINES and LIQUORS 


224 Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 


Miller Extra Eastern Whiskies, Imported Brandies, Bethesda 
Water, English Alu and Porter, 



THE PACIFIC ASYLUM 

A Private Asylum for the cure and treatment of 

MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISEASES 

Pleasantly located. Accommodates 200 Patients. 

For terms, etc., addreBS 

ASA CLARK. M. D„ Prop'r and Supt. STOCKTON 



GRAY'S 

MODEL DRUG STORE 

jtSTPersonal attention given to orders by mail for anything 
in the drug or medicine line. J. D. GRAY, 176 Main St., 

Stockton. (27 years in the business.) 



SYLVESTER & HARROLD 

FURNITURE AND CARPETS 

Store and Salesroom, 250 & 252 Main Street. Stockton 

Factory on Main St. bet. Grant & Stanislaus Sts. 

The ONLY Furniture Factory in the San Joaquin Valley 



H. C. SHAW, PLOW WORKS 

AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS 



201 4 203 EL DORADO STREET 



BROWN & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS 

And Dealers in all kinds of Grain und Produce 

178 Levee Street, Stockton, Cal. 

Orders solicited and promptly filled. All kinds of Seedi for 

sale, Post Office Box 279. 



YOSEMITE HOUSE 

Main Street, Stockton, Cal. 
The Only First-Class Hotel in the City 

Rates— S2. 00 to S3.00 per Day 
ALDRICH & WRENCH. Proprietors 



THE WASP. 




WOULD I WERE WITH THEE 



SCHMIDT LABEL* LITHO CO, SAN FRANCISCO. 



PERRIER'S FRENCH RESTAURANT ™ v,TE S.i B 2"" ALl 12 &14 O'Farrell 



WEST COAST FURNITURE 

COM l»V.\Y, 

Cor. FOURTH AND BRYANT STS., S. F. 

tfanttbctun n ol and Dealers In 

FURNITURE, BEDDING & UPHOLSTERY, 

Wooden LUantolsand Hardwood 

House Finish a Specialty, 

A Lamm Absoetuhni Constantly oh Hand una 
m mi ra Obdbr. 

Every Article Warranted and Satisfaction 
Guaranteed. 

< tl.ll OICMA 

Sugar Refinery. 

Office, :i27 Market street. 

ItKFIXKUY, IM»TICi:itO. 



SAN FRANCISCO^-^OfTICE 



kewIiome: 







II. IMs WANTED 
In ln<iicii|iiiii Territory. 






OLAUS SPRECKELS, 
J. I». SPRECKELS.... 

V 1!. SI'HECKELS .. 



President 

. . Vice-President 
...... .Secretary 



STORE YOUR FURNITURE^^^I.:^^ 8 
(ALIKIIRXIA STOItAl.i: WAItl'.HIIIM:. ^.).» niNSI»\ 
\< \l to l.iaiiil <> |ii- in linn s,-. Ailviinrra made. ' CTKKPT. 

Decker Bros: Pianos. 

Dfatchlens for Fine Tone, Klenaiit Finish 
niul Great Dnr ability. RmlorNcri by all 
ArtiwtM thi'ou^iioiit tin 1 world. 

KOHLER & CHASE, Agents, 

IS? * ISO POST 1 STltEET. *. E. 




w. t. coleman & co. nOMMERCIAL SOAP COMPANY, 

^J Manufacturers .if E\ ory Description of 



SHIPPING AND 

Commission Merchants, 

SJE. COl'. Ha i-L >■ I anil M a i 11 StS. 
SAN FRANCISCO. 

GREAT BARGAINS 

JOE POHEIM 



TOILET AND LAUNDRY SOAPS, WASHING POWDER, ETC., ETC. 



Oflire, 223 Sacramento (St., 



San Francisco, Cal. 

OAKIX & LUIIIEY. Manage rH 



SWAIN'S 
636 



MARKET, 

Opp. Palace Hotel. 



rAiVHLY BAKERY and 
I DINING SALOON. 

J Families supplied with Wedding < ate, 
{ Ice <Teani, Oyster**, Jelllpa. « tc. 

G S HALL. P ooRtr 



THE TAILOK. 



We offer tn inula- of the Very best French Pique 
Silk Lined Suits, t -iter, t'nr Jjjt4r 

Formerly $55. 

Fine French Ousshnere Pants, fur Kftft 

Elegant Business Suits, for SJ53 

Proper Attention, Perfect Fit and first 
of Work (J tut ran teed, or No Sales. 

303 Montgomery Street, 

724 Market street, 
1110 and 111*3 Market street, 

SAX ERANVISOO. 



John M. Curtis, 

(laitu CURTIS Si BENNETT,) 

ARCHITECT, 

52** California St. Rooms 14 ami 15. 

JOHN B. MclNTYRE, 
BOOK BINDER 

Paper Ruler, Blank Book Manufacturer, 

42S tiny ami 422 Commercial St«. 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



GERMEA 

FOR BREAKFAST, 
, DELICIOUS. 



BECOJOIESTDED BY r A'HE I1KIIK Al FACULTY EVERYWHERE. 

[ Jarvis Brandy 



JARVIS BRANDY CO., GROWERS AND DISTILLERS, SAN JOSE, CAL. 

JPrize 3Iedal at the World's Exposition, Xcw Orleans. 

HAS KE)IOVEI». 




^ HOME MUTUAL INS. CO. 



NOW OCCUPIES PREMISES 
Xo. 'iHJ Sun so me street. 

East side, bet. California & Pine, San Francisco, 
where it enjoys more eommodioud offices. 



21st Annual Exhibit. 

Premiums since organ'zation. 

Losses since organization 

Assets, Jan. 1, 1885 

Surplus for Policy Holders . . . 


Jan. 1, IHSS 

.. 2,118,501 84 
.... 856,658 22 

.... 82;>,!>G.i OS 






Reinsurance Reserve 2"5,157 07 

Net Surplus over everything 250,806 61 

President J. F. HOUGHTON 

Vice-President J. UN. SHEPARD 

Secretory CHARLES R. ST<>KY 

General Agent R. 11. MAGILL 



FRED. M. OTIS, Agent, 

;-$0», 311 Front St., San Frauciseo 

Tiik Bkst ako PURBST OF California Winks 
and Brandies. 



JOHN MIDDLETON, 
CO %.L ? 

I 14 Post, and S. W. cor. Powell & Sutter. 



TRY IT! 




(I Closed. 



ECONOMY THE ROAD TO WEALTH. 

Coiumenee the \ew Year right. 

Economize in every way possible. 
Buy a Bl'KR BED as a starter 

and Nave Rent. 

BURR FOLDING BED GO. 

0O3 MARKET STREET. 




Yf. <.. BADGER, 

-■ >ii m.i •- ra pob 

HALLETT, DAVIS & CO'S 

Celebrated 

PIANOS, 

Geo. Woods & Co's Parlor and Vestry Organs, 
1:1 SaiiHomi. street, !•*. F. 



Instantaneous Photographs, 

1025 I.AKK1X STBEKT, 

Corner i,l Sutter, SAN II: IV |m n 

WELLS, FARCO & COMPANY, 

BANKING DEPABT3U3NT, 

SAM FRANCISCO, CAL. 
Capital ami Surplus $3,000,000 



D1BBCT0BS : 

'-'•"VI. Tt:\iK President, 

Jno. -i. \ ilkntink Vice-President, 

Leland >tanf,,rd, Churl,* Crocker, 

■i. C, Fair... oUvoi ElUrldge, 

Charles Forgo, George E. Gray, and 

C. F. Crocker. 

H. Wadsworto, Cashier. 

Receive Deposits, issue Letters o( Credit and 
transact a General Banking business. 



THE NEVADA BANK 

OF SAN FRANCISCO. 

Capital paid up, $3,000,1)00. 

Agency at New York. 62 Wall street. 

Agencj ;i( Virginia, Nevada. 

Buys and sells Exchange and Telegraphic 
TranBfers, issues Commercial and Travelers' 
Credits. 

ANGLO-NEVADA 
Assurance Corporation 

Of SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. 

FIRE <V MARIINE. 

SUBSCRIBBU CAI-ITAL $2,000,000. 

Offiee: 410 Pine street. 

VV. GREER HARRISON, President and Manager 

J. I,. FLOOD Vice-President 

C. 1'. i'AHNFIELD Secretary 

.1. s. ANGUS Assistant Manager 

Bankers—The Xevaila Bank of 
San FraneiHeu. 

C. L. BENTON & CO. 

COMMISSION MERCHANTS. 

Wholesale and Retail Dealers in 

Poultry and Wild drame 

05, <>»>, 07 California 9Ia.rk.et, 

San* Pranciboo. All orders attended to at the 
Shortest Notice. Goods delivered Free of Charge 
to an; part of the City. 

DUFFEY & O'BRIEN, 

Wholesale and Retail Healers in 

POULTRY & Ci^VJVXE. 

Stalls :5 & 4 California SIarkbt, 
California St. entrance) Sun Eraneisco. 

E. H. THARP, 

Notary Public & Commissioner of Deeds. 
■2:tK MONTGOMERY STREET, S. F. 



«doptedlo76. ORIGINAL Re*istered187i 

<^ BUDWEISER <6& 



On Draught i />i iwpr PHELAN BLOCK, 

only at the Lm\*r\J V M L—j < 01 . Dunont. 
jrni.IIW <;■:■■:>. Proprietor. 



RRAKinU ST. ANN'S BUILDING, 

LJ 1 l/'AI ^1 V^ I I j Jan. Eildy anil Powell. 
JULIUS GEUEN & MAX TOOELSLANO, Prop'tors 



MAYES 



J OYSTER SALOON! DEALS EXCLUSIVELY IN OYSTERS 



ATVI> I>EJPO r JT. 



40 CALIFORNIA MARKET, entrance, on California St. 



DANICHEFF KID GLOVES. 



SALESROOM, 

No. 119 DUPONT STREET 



CD 

m 



O 

z 

I 
CO 



TIP 7TT.TT.FS TTAMMAM 



(Est.iblislied 1852.) The Largest, Airiest, and Best 1IATHS on the 
Pacific Coast. Turkish, Russian, Steam, Sulphur or Medicated Daths 



^99 tr, ^9» PACIFIC ST. 



M. MEUSSDORFFER'S HATS are " THE " STYLES." 1 - ZJ v A n ^lSl? mm 



THE CELEBRATED 

CHAMPAGNE WINES 

Of Messrs. DEUTZ & GELDERMAN, 
Ay, en Champagne. 



CACHET BLANC, Tres Sec, 

Extra Dry, in Cases, Quarts and Pints. 

Cabinet Green Sesil, 

In Baskets, Quarts and Pints. 

Bordeaux ISed snid White 

Wines 

In Cases, from Messrs. A. de Luze & Fils. 

Hoclc IV i nes. 

In Cases, from G. M. Pabstmann Sohn, Mainz. 



CHAS. MEINECKE & CO. 

Importers and Sole Agents, 
314 SACRAMENTO STREET, S.F. 





PHOTOGRAPHER, 

8 Montgomery St., San Francisco 

Veuve Clicquot 

(Yellow Label) 

CHAMPAGNE. 

Quarts and Pints. 

-A_. VIGNIER, 

SOLE A«iEiVT, 

429 aud 431 Battery St., S.F. 

J. V. LAWRESGE, 

Carpenter and Builder, 5To. OlO 

Saeraiiiento street, S. F. 

Cabinet Work and Fitting Up Offices promptly 
attended to. Telephone No. 900. 



FOB THE BEST IMPBOVED 

ARTIFICIAL LIMBS 

ADDRESS 

MENZO SPRING. 
?] 9 Geary St. \£ 

B SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. £ 

-7 6. 

~ OFFICE &., S 



BECHSTEIN 

Grand and Upright Pianos. 

GENERAL AGENT FOE PACIFIC COAST, 
737 Market street, S. F. 

WE LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW. 




Imitated by Many, 

Equaled by None. 

J. "W. EVANS, 
GENERAL AGENT, 

No. 39 POST ST. 



THE LARGEST 

Lager Beer 

BREWERY 



OS THE PACIFIC COAST. 

JOHN WIELAND, 

PROPRIETOR, 

Second street, near Folsom, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



^flClSCOJTOCn- 

Q CAPITAL 

STOCK, 



$200,000. 



OUR LAGER BEER IS 
DREWED BY THE NEW 
METHOD AND WAR- 
RANTED TO KEEP IN 
ANY CLIMATE. 




"Y 



POWELL & FRANCISCO 

STREETS. 
TELEPHONE 9013. 

ALE g^ PORTER 

In Bulk or Bottle, Superior 
to any on the Pacific Cuaat. 

RUDOLPH MOHR, Sec'y. 



Patronize Plome Production. 



CARTE 
BLANCHE. 



CEIJSBKATED OAJL-IFOItiNIA. 



IMPERIAL 

CABINET, 

Fur© and 

Ueliciou.s 

A.FinkeWiflo¥, 



S5&tot>j 




809 

Montgoniery St. 



Jos. Fredericks 

& CO. 

649 & 651 Market St. 

FURNITURE 

and CARPETS. 

Latest Designs. 



THE BOSS 



For Sale by 



PACIFIC SAW MANUFACTURING CO 

17 & 15> Fremont St., S.F. 



Complete with Pacific Saw Manufacturing Com- 
pany's Extra Blade, set and filed ready 
for work, Sl.SO each. 



:.IIRANT AND COFFEE SALOON, 

German Bakery & Confectionery, 

520 CALIFORNIA ST. 

Fresh Bread delivered daily. Cakes made to 
Order. Sole Agent for RUSSIAN CAVIAR and 
WESTPHALIA HAMS. German Sausages. 

A. REIISCHE. 




L. S. KAST. 



J. KAUFMANN. 



MEIST'S 



YOUTHS'' 



BOYS' 



tar SUPERIOR to All i n RICHNESS & QUALITY, ga 

for FFRX1TITRE, PIANOS and other 
Ciootls. at S. F. STORAGE WARE- 
HOUSE, 735 Market St. Advances 
n.a.!e. J. M. PIERCE. 



STORAGE 




Boots and Shoes 

Largest Stock, 

Greatest Variety, 

Lowest Prices. 

Kast's 

738 & 740 MARKET STREET. 

\o Branek Stores. 



S TEINWAY. 



I>onble Triumph at London, isv.». 

Grand Gold Medal of International Inventions Exhibition, also 
Grand Gold Medal by the Society of Arts for " Best Pianos 
and several meritorious and useful Inventions. 

M. OKAY, SOtt I'ost street, S. F. 




CENTRAL 



BUS 




113 GEARY ST., aboye Dupont, 8. F. 

The most comfortable, cheapest and cleanest Hot and Cold Water Baths in the city with Hot 
or Cold Showers. Salt Water, Sulphur and Bran Baths. Try them. 

L. CORRIVEATT, Proprietor. 



W M J. LEMP'S "mFSg"- 




OTTO NORMANN 



41 I BUSH STREET, S. F. 

S ol e Agent Pacific Coast. 



BOKER'S 
BITTERS 

Used as a TOSIIC and COCKTAIL 
BITTER 

SUPERIOR TO ALL. 

For Sale by all Wholesale Dealers and in all 
First-class Saloons. 



WILLIAMS, DIMOND & GO. 

SHIPPING AJOTtt 

Commission Merchants, 

UNION BLOCK, 
Junction Market & Pine streets, 

SAN FRANCISCO. 



AGENTS FOR 
Pacific Mail S. S. Co.; the Pacific Steam Naviga- 
tion Co. ; the Cunard Royal Mail S. S. Co. ; the 
Hawaiian Line ; the China Traders' Insurance 
Co. (limited) ; the Marine Insurance Co. of 
London ; the Baldwin Locomotive Works ; the 
Glasgow Iron Co. ; Nich, Ashton &. Son's Salt. 



DRINK 



„ gtftvsicr sor>A 



SPARKLING NATURAL 

IWIIMFRAI WATFP 



SAN FRANCISCO, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1886. 




Both Parties: We mourn our loss. 



THE WASP. 



A TERRIBLE CONFESSION. 



A Physician Presents some Startling Facts. 



The following story — which is attracting wide at- 
tention from the press — is so remarkable that we 
cannot excuse ourselves if we do not lay it before 
our readers entire : 

tl To the Editor of the Rochester (N. Y.) Democrat. 

"Sir, — On the first day of June, 1881, I lay at 
my residence in this city surrounded by my friends 
and waiting for death. Heaven only knows the 
agony I then endured, for words can never describe 
it. And yet, if a few years previous any one had 
told me that I was to be brought so low, and by so 
terrible a disease, I should have scoffed at the idea. 
I had always been uncommonly strong and healthy, 
and weighed over 200 pounds, and hardly knew, in 
my own experience, what pain or sickness were. 
Very many people who will read this statement 
realize at times they are unusually tired and cannot 
account for it. They feel dull pains in various parts 
of the body and do not understand why. Or they 
are exceedingly hungry one day and entirely without 
appetite the next. This was just the way I felt when 
the relentless malady which had fastened itself upon 
me first began. Still I thought nothing of it ; that 
probably I had taken a cold which would soon pass 
away. Shortly after this I noticed a heavy, and at 
times neuralgic, pain in one side of my head, but as 
it would come one day and be gone the next, I paid 
little attention to it. Then my stomach would get 
out of order and my food often failed to digest, 
causing at times great inconvenience. Yet, even as 
a physician, I did not think that these things meant 
anything serious. I fancied 1 was suffering from 
malaria and doctored myself accordingly. But I got 
no better. I next noticed a peculiar color and odor 
about the fluids I was passing — also that there were 
large quantities one day and very little the next, 
and that a persistent froth and scum appeared upon 
the surface, and a sediment settled. And yet I did 
not realize my danger, for, indeed, seeing these 
symptoms continually, 1 finally became accustomed 
to them, and my suspicion was wholly disarmed by 
the fact that I had no pain in the affected organs or 
in their vicinity. Why I should have been so blind 
I cannot understand ! 

" I consulted the best medical skill in the land. I 
visited all the famed mineral springs in America and 
traveled from Maine to California. Still I grew 
worse. No two physicians agreed as to my malady. 
One said I was troubled with spinal irritation ; an- 
other, dyspepsia ; another, heart disease ; another, 
general debility ; another, congestion of the base of 
the brain ; and so on through a long list of common 
diseases, the symptoms of many of which I really 
had. In this way several years passed, during which 
time I was steadily growing worse. My condition 
had really become pitiable. The slight symptoms I 
at first experienced were developed into terrible and 
constant disorders. My weight had been reduced 
from 207 to 130 pounds. My life was a burden to 
myself and friends. I could retain no food on my 
stomach, and lived wholly "by injections. I was a 
living mass of pain. / My pulse was uncontrollable. 
In my agony I frequently fell to the floor and 
clutched the carpet, and prayed for death ! Mor- 
phine had little or no effect in deadening the pain. 
For six days and nights I had the death-premonitory 
hiccoughs constantly ! My water was filled with 
tube-casts and albumen. I was struggling with 
Bright 's disease of the kidneys in its last stages ! 

" While suffering thus I received a call from my 
pastor, the Rev. Dr. Foote, at that time rector of 
St. Paul's Episcopal Church, of this city. I felt 
that it was our last interview, but hi the course of 
conversation Dr. Foote detailed to me the many 
remarkable cures of cases like my own which had 
come under his observation. As a practicing physi- 
cian and a graduate of the schools, I derided the 
idea of any medicine outside the regular channels 
being in the least beneficial. So solicitous, however, 
was Dr. Foote, that I finally promised I would waive 
my prejudice. I began its use on the first day of 
June, 1881, and took it according to directions. At 
first it sickened me ; but tins I thought was a good 
sign for one in my debilitated condition. I continued 
to take it ; the sickening sensation departed and I 
was finally able to retain food upon my stomach. 
In a few days I noticed a decided change for the 
better, as also did my wife and friends. My hic- 
coughs ceased and I experienced less pain than 
formerly. I was so rejoiced at this improved con- 
dition that, upon what I had believed but a few 
days before was my dying bed, I vowed, in the 
presence of my family and friends, should I recover 



I would both publicly and privately make known 
this remedy for the good of humanity, wherever and 
whenever I had an opportunity, and this letter is in 
fulfillment of that vow. My improvement was con- 
stant from that time, and in less than three months 
I had gained 26 pounds in flesh, became entirely 
free from pain and I believe I owe my life and pres- 
ent condition wholly to Warner's Safe Cure, the 
remedy which I used. 

' ' Since my recovery I have thoroughly reinvesti- 
gated the subject of kidney difficulties and Bright 's 
disease, and the truths developed are astounding. 
I therefore state, deliberately, and as a physician, 
that I believe more than one-half the deaths which 
occur in America are caused by Bright' s disease of the 
kidneys. This may sound like a rash statement, but 
I am prepared to verify it fully. Bright 's disease 
has no distinctive features of its own (indeed, it 
often develops without any pain whatever in the 
kidneys or their vicinity), but has the symptoms of 
nearly every other common complaint. Hundreds of 
people die daily, whose burials are authorized by a 
physician's certificate as occuring from ' Heart Dis- 
ease,' 'Apoplexy,' 'Paralysis,' 'Spinal Complaint,' 
'Rheumatism,' 'Pneumonia,' and the other common 
complaints, when in reality it is from Bright's disease 
of the kidneys. Few physicians, and fewer people, 
realize the extent of this disease or its dangerous 
and insidious nature. It steals into the system like 
a thief, manifests its presence if at all by the com- 
monest symptoms and fastens itself in the constitu- 
tion before the victim is aware of it. It is nearly as 
hereditary as consumption, quite as common and 
fully as fatal. Entire families, inheriting it from 
their ancestors, have died and yet none of the num- 
ber knew or realized the mys